Category: Anal Advice

Posts containing advice about anal sex and the anal only lifestyle. For more general anal advice, see our Anal Sex Advice and Guide to the Anal Only Lifestyle page.


No, Anal Isn’t Just Something Enjoyed in Porn

An unfortunately still rather common trope among those inexperienced with anal pleasures is that while it can look sexy and be fun to watch in porn, it isn’t something that women really enjoy and that those who do it in porn are just active and pretending because it’s what guys want to see, and in turn, women mimic that to please guys but don’t really enjoy it for themselves.

This is simply untrue. Sure, there may be some who do this, but the reality is that many women, both in real life and in porn, love anal and can’t get enough of it. Even among those who aren’t anal only, enjoyment of frequent anal is very common and growing.

Unfortunately, it’s a bit of a self-perpetuating issue, because people insist loudly that it’s all an act for porn, resulting in those who do enjoy it for themselves often feeling marginalized and ashamed or afraid to speak up for their own enjoyment, and then as a result, they never correct the myth and it spreads further to other people.

How can we prevent this falsehood from spreading even further? Counter such claims with your own experiences and perspectives! Don’t be afraid to open up and tell people how much you enjoy or even prefer anal, and why. Some people may be dismissive or disbelieving, but most will recognize that you have a valid counter opinion or perspective, and some will be interested in learning more and may even reveal their own curiosity about anal and want tips from you on how to better enjoy it. People, especially women, who open up to their friends, have found a great deal of positive results as their friends end up wanting to try anal for themselves too, and if those friends already enjoy anal, they often end up trying to go anal only on their own as well if the idea is shared with them in a positive manner.

Message: How to Teach Anal Only?

Anonymous: We are an anal only couple and we would like to introduce our children to the anal only lifestyle as well but we don’t know how we should do it. Do you think this is appropriate, and how much should we talk about? We don’t want to force them in any direction, we just want to be open about the lifestyle and why it’s been a good choice for us and that we think it’s good for others too.

Of course. Sex education is a healthy, positive and very beneficial thing for parents to provide to their children, and when something like the anal only lifestyle has been such a positive thing in one’s life, it’s only natural to want to pass on education about it to their children as well. It’s completely reasonable to encourage its practice and mention its benefits, or even to say that you yourself practice it as well. Ultimately, of course, it’s each person’s choice, but there’s nothing wrong with encouraging something that you think is in their best interest.

Article: How To Derive Even More Pleasure From Anal Sex

Squirting is a popular porn category, but although it’s not as common IRL, squirting can and does happen — including during anal sex.

As you might already know, squirting, also called female ejaculation, is the name for what happens when fluid “squirts” out of the urethra during sex. This occurs when the Skene’s gland — a gland located inside the anterior wall of the vagina — is stimulated, explains sex and dating coach Myisha Battle. This stimulation makes the Skene’s gland fill with fluid, which is then expressed through the urethra.

“Historically, we thought about stimulation of the G spot contributing to more intense orgasms and the potential for female ejaculation,” Battle explains, but “in the sexological world, we would probably lead more towards calling it the S-spot, because the Skene’s gland is something that, when stimulated, fills with fluid.” Whatever you call it — the G-spot, the S-spot, or the Skene’s gland — you’re going to want to stimulate it through “penetration of some kind, either manually, with a penis or with a toy,” Battle explains. Ideally, she adds, with a “toy that’s curved.”

Continue reading on Refinery29

Reddit: Am I Fetishizing My Girlfriend?

A member of the r/analonlylifestyle subreddit shares his story:

So I got back with my ex. We’ve been apart for almost three months but we missed each other very much so we’ve started dating again. The thing is: I don’t know if I’m back with her because she’s anal only.

In these three months I went back to meeting people after a relationship of 1.5 years, and it felt very awkward. I thought I needed to see other people but I found out that all this flirting thing bores me terribly. I tried to hook up with a few girls, but I think my ex spoiled me and that only anal sex can turn me on now.

I met another girl and she was funny and interesting, but she didn’t like anal very much. She liked to be rimmed, but I suspect we only did it because she knew I liked it. I would eat her ass and get super hard, but when she wanted me to fuck her (in the vagina), I couldn’t help getting soft. It was very frustrating and it happened many times with other girls. It came to a point that I could only get horny from anal porn. And the worse part, watching anal reminded me of my ex.

So I texted her, we met, we talked and we end up fucking super crazy like we used to do. It was amazing. And now we’re talking about getting back and how are we going to manage it, and I have lots of doubts.

Objectively she’s a keeper. She’s very kind and caring, we like the same things and have the same goals in life. I feel like there’s nothing I can’t tell her. And I know I’m not getting back with her because I feel lonely (in fact, one of the things that led us to breaking up was the fact that I value my time alone very much and I wanted my space).

I tell myself I’m back with her because I want to share my life and my things with her and team up to face adversity, but I can’t keep thinking that the truth is that sex is fucking amazing with her. I love grabbing her legs, spreading them apart and eating her asshole right away. I love how she moans, it drives me crazy. When we fuck she’s always clean and we don’t even need lube. She rides me and she cums in two minutes without touching her clit or her vagina. It’s so easy and so rewarding that I can’t believe it, and she loves it too. It blows my mind.

So my question is, am I fetishizing her? Have any of you been in a similar situation? Do you have any advice?

Read the responses on r/analonlylifestyle

Anal Only Isn’t a Limitation

An argument that often comes up when introducing the idea of the anal only lifestyle to someone who has not yet experienced it for themselves is that by excluding vaginal sex, you are in some way limiting yourself sexually and that it’s more open-minded to still include vaginal sex in one’s sexual routine rather than to focus purely on anal and oral.

While on the surface, this may appear to make sense to those who have not yet tried anal only, the reality is quite different. In practice, eliminating vaginal sex in favor of anal only is more of an enhancement to one’s sex life than a restriction, the result of focusing on that which gives the most pleasure, intimacy and excitement and mastering the best acts rather than feeling obligated to do everything.

There’s something magical that happens when going anal only for the long term, which is hard to comprehend until you’ve tried it and experienced it for itself, but which is different than simply having a lot of anal sex. The total exclusion of vaginal sex and the state of mind involved with the conscious decision to fully replace vaginal with anal ends up making sex and pleasure so much more intense and arousing.

Additionally, unlike vaginal sex, anal doesn’t generally get boring or tedious in the same way. Couples who got tired of vaginal quickly found that even a decade into being anal only, they still find it exciting and thrilling. There is so much fun and variety you can do with anal alone and vaginal doesn’t have much special to offer that anal can’t do better.

So if the idea of going anal only interests you but you’re worried it will end up limiting your options, don’t worry. Give it a try for yourself—No Pussy November is coming up and is a great time to experiment with the anal only lifestyle—and you’ll soon see the benefits!

Forum: Two Years Ago

… i was on vacation with my family on a small mediterranean island. It was that time i suggested to my wife to participate Anal only August. She agreed.

My wife and I were together for 15 years, raising a family with two kids, working hard, lot of stress. It was time for a change to renew our relationship. Also she was tired of hormonal birth control and wanted to quit.

After the tryout period we discussed it again and decided to go anal only for long term.

Right now we’re here again, on the same small mediterranean island, looking back on two very happy years. We made the change!

For curious couples reading this: just do it …

Continue reading on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Article: Yes, It’s Safe To Have Anal Sex During Pregnancy

Sex during pregnancy is highly individual. Some people experience higher libidos when pregnant, some have lower libidos, and some don’t see much of a change. If you do want to have sex during pregnancy, it’s safe, unless your doctor tells you otherwise. And that includes anal sex. So if you usually enjoy backdoor play, there’s no reason to stop having while pregnant.

“Anal sex while pregnant can be completely safe and enjoyable,” says Jennifer Driver, sex educator State Policy Director at the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS). “However, as with any sexual activity (pregnant or not), there are things to consider before engaging. For example, it is important to be aware of and clearly communicate comfort levels, express what is enjoyable and what is not, and have an understanding of both your own and your partner’s STI status.” As always with anal sex, you should use lube and be sure to clean the penis or sex toy — or change condoms — between anal sex and vaginal sex to avoid transferring bacteria.

Continue reading on Refinery29

Start Masturbating Anally Only

Even if you aren’t able to go anal only in your sex life with a partner—either because your partner doesn’t want to stop having vaginal sex, or because you don’t have a partner—you can still choose to go anal only in your solo play if you’re someone who receives anal.

Just make the decision that going forward, all your masturbation is going to be anal only. Even if you continue to combine it with other external stimulation, decide to stop all vaginal penetration and replace it fully with anal. Or if you want to go all in with anal only and are able to orgasm from anal—or want to learn how—exclude clitoral stimulation as well.

In this small way, you can start the anal only life that you want, and then work over time to achieve the same with a partner as well.

Article: Anal Sex’s 45-Degree Rule Is The Key To Enjoyable Backdoor Play

Have you ever heard of the “45-degree rule” for anal sex? Well, not many people have. It’s certainly not given the attention it deserves. You can read dozens of articles on the best ways to enjoy anal sex and never hear the rule mentioned. Meanwhile, it’s essentially the key to enjoyable anal play for both men and women… well, besides lube. Always use lots and lots of lube during anal.

The 45-degree rule refers to the angle in which you are tilting a butt plug, anal beads, a dildo, or a penis inside the anus. It’s not this straightforward “stick it in your butt and go” kind of thing.

Like with all things in sex: It’s a bit more complex than that. If you want to take your butt play to the next level, unlocking erogenous zones you may not even know you had, start using the 45-degree rule ASAP.

Continue reading on Refinery29

Message: Anal Dilemma

Ronald: Hi, I found your blog when I was searching Google for advice on my situation and it seems like you might be able to help me.

My wife and I enjoy anal sex often but she recently asked me if we can stop having vaginal sex because she doesn’t enjoy it as much as anal. Now I love anal, but I don’t want to stop using her pussy either.

She says vaginal hurts sometimes and is harder to get turned on by and she doesn’t orgasm from it as easily. What can I do so that she wants to do both? Or should I?

Thank you.

I would ask you to consider why you want vaginal. There are a number of different reasons some guys can struggle with the idea of going anal only.

  • You feel denied a part of your wife and your sex life and see it as a sort of closing off herself to you in a way. Instead, recognize that it’s more of her opening up her most intimate and pleasurable part of herself to you fully and wanting to focus more fully on the thing you do together that give her the most pleasure.
  • You fear that excluding an option for sex will result in less variety and make sex more boring. This is a common concern that doesn’t actually hold up in practice most of the time. Anything can become boring, but most often people become bored of vaginal all the time—because vaginal is inherently pretty boring compared to anal, and anal gives a lot of opportunities for other variety and fun things that you can do to mix things up—butt plugs, ass to mouth, double anal, developing pure anal orgasms, and much more.
  • You think the preparation needed for anal will make sex less spontaneous. This can be solved with a bit of compromise—on your part, recognizing that it can take a little time and practice to get fully into the routine and that with practice there will be little preparation needed—and on her part, wearing butt plugs or using dildos in between having sex on a more regular basis, and establishing a daily cleaning routine in order to be ready for sex at any time.
  • You think that vaginal sex is something couples need to do in order to be normal. This may not be a conscious thought that you have, but it may drive your concerns about going anal only. Often, people admit that they don’t enjoy vaginal as much as anal, but they still do it anyway because that’s what people do and that’s the “normal” way to have sex. The reality is, there is no normal. Do what works best for you. If you prefer anal and find you don’t actually like vaginal all that much, why waste time on it? Focus on what you do enjoy.

Ultimately, consider also whether your wanting vaginal is more important than her enjoyment. Vaginal isn’t as enjoyable for her as anal, and that’s actually not that uncommon for a lot of women, so her wanting to focus on anal, the thing that is more fun and pleasurable for her, makes a lot of sense.

I’d suggest giving it a try for a few months and see how it goes. In practice, you’ll most likely find that you don’t miss vaginal sex at all and will quickly recognize the many benefits of being anal only and of having a partner who is thoroughly pleased with the type of sex she’s getting.