Category: Anal Advice

Posts containing advice about anal sex and the anal only lifestyle. For more general anal advice, see our Anal Sex Advice and Guide to the Anal Only Lifestyle page.

Article: How Anal Sex Saved Our Marriage

Childbirth wasn’t kind to me. The beautiful birth experience I had imagined for myself – in a pristine pool with serene music playing and essential oils burning with possibly some cartoon woodland creatures gathering to greet the infant – didn’t quite happen that way. There was a lot of screaming, tearing, forceps and painkillers.

The most important thing was that my son Jasper was born healthy and we were both OK.

But at my six-week check-up, I was still sore and certainly nowhere near ready to have sex again.

I know a lot of women say they don’t feel like having sex for months or even years after having a baby, but that wasn’t me. The mind was willing, but the vagina objected quite strongly. And my husband Dan told me every day how keen he was too.

My doctor told me to give it another few weeks and then to go ahead and try to have sex, using lots of lubricant and taking it super slow. Jasper was a good sleeper, so Dan and I planned a romantic evening to try things out one Saturday night. While I fed Jasper and put him down to sleep, Dan lit a load of candles, poured the wine and put on some mood music.

Everything was right, but when we tried to have sex, I ended up in tears. I’m not sure how much of the problem was physical and how much was emotional, but I just couldn’t entertain the idea of letting Dan anywhere near my poor battered vagina.

The next week I was searching online for a solution to my problem when I came across an article about a couple who discovered anal sex after they’ve had a baby. She said that, although she’d never tried anal before, it had become her favourite type of sex now, and that she no longer had to worry about doing her vagina any more damage.

Dan and I had dabbled in anal sex a few times before and quite liked it, so a light bulb went on in my head. I got quite excited about the idea and sent Dan a text message at work that said, “Anal tonight?”

Continue reading on KidSpot Parenting

Female Empowerment and the Anal Only Lifestyle

Our culture has long put a lot of obligations onto women when it comes to sex, and this is still something that many people are dealing with even today.

While men are looked upon in a positive way for having a lot of sex with multiple partners, women are often still treated negatively for the same. Among other reasons, the fact that sex has greater consequences for women in the form of pregnancy can lead to a culture that cautions women against enjoying sex more freely.

Also relating to pregnancy, the burden of birth control is predominantly on women. Men can wear condoms (and still should when partners aren’t tested), but any other form of birth control and its negative side effects is fully shouldered by women.

This is where the beauty of anal sex and the anal only lifestyle becomes clear: it allows people to enjoy the pleasure and intimacy of sex, without pregnancy being a factor. Anal is sex for the sake of sex, not piggybacking on top of a reproductive act and trying to make it into a non-reproductive act—something that anal provides naturally.

By having the ability to enjoy sex without any connection to reproductive, a lot of the baggage associated with that disappears, and women are able to enjoy it for what it is instead of fearing what it could be. There’s no longer a burden of birth control, or a stigma of promiscuity that stems from the fear of unwanted pregnancy.

Be empowered. Free yourself from the reproductive bonds of vaginal sex. Go anal only.

Forum: Girlfriend Feels Like She Has to Poop

hi, my girlfriend seems open to the idea of anal sex and enjoys it when i finger her butt. but when i get my finger deeper (like after the second knuckle) she complains that it feels like she has to poop, which i guess is not a sensation she enjoys. is this common? any advice on what to do?

Several good responses follow, including:

Its mental cause she is a newby. Assure her that she doesnt have to, that if she did you wont freak out and just try to get her to relax. Combine however she likes her clit played with with the anal fingering. You need her to tie them together mentally. I dont want to use the term brainwash but when i first met my wife she had never liked anal now she cant cum without some sort of anal stimulation. Its all about building the pleasure association.

Continue reading on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum

The Value of Free, Natural Birth Control that Going Anal Only Can Provide

There are many reasons to go anal only, but one of the fundamental elements of anal sex is that you cannot get pregnant from it, and humans have been using this to their advantage for millennia for that reason. After all, the vast majority of our sexual activity is intended for non-reproductive purposes, and it makes sense to adopt a form of sex that doesn’t result in pregnancy.

Anal Sex is Healthier Than Hormonal Birth Control

While artificial forms of birth control have been revolutionary for the sexual freedom of women and have made it possible to safely enjoy sex, a fact which should absolutely be celebrated, it doesn’t come without its own negatives.

Many women experience some sort of negative side effect from birth control, however. Nausea, weight gain, sore breasts, mood changes, headaches, and loss of arousal are all common.

With anal sex, none of those things are a factor, just the pleasure and intimacy of anal sex and the comfort and confidence of pregnancy-free sex.

Anal Sex is Free and Universally Available

In certain parts of the world, availability of cheap, reliable birth control is limited, and even when it is available, it still costs money. In the United States, birth control can cost up to $50 per month, plus up to $200 for an initial visit with a doctor. In our trying times where many people are just scraping by financially, that can mean choosing between eating or going on birth control.

Aside from the cost of a few toys and some lube to start exploring it if you aren’t already experienced, anal sex provides natural birth control and is free and available to everyone.

Anal Sex Empowers Women

With vaginal sex, there’s a constant reminder that its primary function is getting pregnant, which only serves to reinforce the persistent idea in society that women are primarily there for making babies, and reduces them as individuals. This then leads to judgement of women who enjoy sex, calling them “sluts”, because promiscuous behavior with vaginal sex carries the risk of unwanted pregnancy.

Anal sex, with its focus purely on sexuality and pleasure rather than reproduction, separates the baggage of pregnancy from sex and lets women be sexual equals who can openly enjoy sex and pursue it as often as they want without risk of getting pregnant.

Condoms Provide More Than Birth Control

It’s important to remember with all of this, however, that safe sex is still critical, even with anal sex. Condoms are essential if you are having sex with multiple partners outside of a trusted, tested environment, to prevent the transmission of STIs.

Message: Anal Only With Trans Girlfriend

Steven: Hello. First of all, thank you for all your work, I’ve been a big fan for years. I’m seeking advice. It’ll be a bit long, and quite peculiar to explain…

I’m a 32yo male who’s been into anal for a long, long time (my first time at 16yo was anal, we had no condom and no birth pill, and it’s been my favorite way to fuck ever since). Four years ago, I met a girl through a dating site. Both our profiles mentioned “anal only”, our mutual pictures pleased each other very much, and we got a very good contact through chatting. We met at a bar and connected immediately: she’s smart, funny, extremely sexy and feminine, classy. She offered me to go to her place (you bet I will), and we jumped at each other as soon as the door closed.

When I got to her last layer of clothes, I had two surprises: she was wearing beautiful backless panties and a jewel plug in her ass (yum), and there was an unmistakable bulge on the front of her panties – a small bulge, yet one which shape was very obvious… I had previously never slept with a Tgirl and it wasn’t something I was particularly seeking, but I’m open-minded, I loved absolutely everything else about her, and I hadn’t been planning to do anything with her crotch anyway – my attention was focused on everything else, particularly her beautiful ass and its beautiful hole…

We had a very intense and wild night, so good in fact that we spent the next day together. Two months later, she was selling her apartment and moving to my place. Four years later, here we are, still a couple, and enjoying the Hell out of it.

During all this time, you have to understand we never, ever talked about what she used to be. All her appearance, behaviour, friends, etc. indicate she’s always been a woman. Even her parents (who love me, I have the “ideal son-in-law” type) never mentioned it, all the pictures they keep of her show a cute girl. In our everyday lives, she always wears something that hides her crotch – she has a very large assortment of backless panties to wear during sex (and jewel plugs to go with it). She never touches her crotch during sex, and I certainly don’t. The only thing that may happen is that she cums in her panties without any stimulation while I fuck her (sometimes she cums even while deepthroating me), and that rather turns me on (it has no consequence, I can keep fucking her as long and as hard as I want after she cums, and I generally do just that).

So, it’s been quite a shock when she talked about her past for the first time last night. She’s been brooding lately, which is unusual for her, so I asked her if everything was OK. She answered that when she started her transition (!) years ago, she swore to herself she would be a complete woman at 30yo. Now, she was 29yo, the only missing thing was to turn her genitals into a pussy (from what I understand, her balls stopped producing hormones years ago), but she wasn’t sure she wanted to get a pussy any more: I’m anal only, she’s always been anal only/ignoring her genitals (and loved it that way), and she didn’t feel like going through a long and painful and risky surgical procedure to get something we wouldn’t use anyway. But on the other hand, she did promise to turn into a “complete woman” by 30yo, and she still wanted to be one, so she didn’t know what to do.

And then, she asked me what I felt about it. I told her it was a very complex matter, and I needed some time to phrase my feelings correctly.

To you, I’ll say what I feel very bluntly: the idea that she gets her cock and balls removed pleases and turns me on a lot (much more than I thought it would), but I’d rather have her keep those if her alternative is to get a vagina and clitoris instead.

The thing that makes our sex so perfect is how obvious it is: from the very start of her sexuality, she ignored her genitals and focused on her ass, she’s completely disinhibited about it (for example, from day one she does ass to mouth like it’s the most natural thing in the world, it doesn’t even feel naughty). That makes her ideal for my own sexuality – there’s only one hole to fuck down there, nothing on her front to act as distraction, no orgasm but anal orgasms, we complete each other totally. Her getting a vagina and clitoris would ruin that balance: either she doesn’t use them and what’s the point, or she does, and it breaks what she’s always been and what we are.

I’d rather have her keep her boy genitals, which are so much smaller than mine that it actually arouses me. I thought a lot about it, and ideally, it’d probably be the best for her to get a “fake pussy”: no vagina hole, no clitoris, but no cock or balls either, just a stylized pussy shape that’d be a lot simpler and safer to build surgically. That way, she’d be at ease in a bathing suit/if she has to take a shower naked in front of people, and she could feel more like a “complete woman” (which, frankly, she already is to me), but without breaking our balance. I would love that very much. But I don’t know if it’s legal/where to get that safely, and how she’d react to my suggestion.

And another thing: do I have the right to tell her how I feel? It’s not my body. I’m just her boyfriend, and we only know each other for four years. Who am I to decide?

Everything I read from you make me feel we have similar views on things, I think you can understand me, and I really could use your opinion. Thanks!

Ultimately, it’s her body and she has the right to do what she wants with it, but she’s also asking your opinion. I think you should be honest with her, but preface your thoughts by saying that most of all you want her to do what she wants for herself. Tell her that you love that she is anal only and that she doesn’t have anything else to get distracted by. Tell her that you think she’s wonderful the way she is, but that if were to change, you still would want to stay anal only with her. You could even tell her about the idea of a decorative but nonfunctional vulva as a compromise, and see what she thinks about it. If she likes the idea, then she could start talking to surgeons who perform such procedures and see whether it’s an option.

Be honest, be open, and be supportive of her. Try to just have a good, healthy conversation about it together and listen to each other. Good luck, and let us know where you end up.

Reddit: How to Make Women More Confident About Their Assholes?

When I’ve asked women to spread, it can almost feel invasive. At least the first few times. It’s not like in porn where a woman moans then spreads her asshole out super wide and says “stick it in my shithole, baby”. No, it’s much more intimate than that. Especially for her.

I want my woman to feel like she’s giving me the holy grail of sex. I want her to act out with the confidence of seeing it as the ultimate compliment to her physical form. Her femininity should not feel under threat.

In conclusion, I want her to feel like her assholes worth a million bucks when we fuck!

One of several good responses:

Positive reinforcement is commonly one of the best ways to go. When you have anal, be sure to compliment her on all the things you love about her ass/asshole. Tell her how sexy it looks or how pretty/cute her asshole is, how good it feels to you, how much you appreciate using her ass. Don’t beat the horse about it, but do it enough times that the continued positivity will eventually make her feel more confident with it. She may not ever feel exactly how you feel about it, but her feeling more confident and at ease with it will certainly help a good deal in general.

Continue reading on /r/analonlylifestyle on Reddit

The Value of Anal Positivity

Talk to many women about anal sex, and if they aren’t already a fan, chances are that many have a lot of negative ideas about it. These ideas may come out of past attempts with inexperienced partners, stories from friends, or just various myths that spread through popular culture and the media.

But the reality is that some of the biggest enthusiasts of anal sex are women, because the potential for amazing pleasure can benefit women the most, and this highlights an essential path for encouraging anal to more people.

Those of us who love anal and know better than to believe negative myths and ideas about it should counter that negativity by being openly positive about anal and our love for it when it comes up in conversation. Instead of ignoring people when they say something negative, we should speak up and share our own opinions and experiences that are in direct contrast with that negativity.

Most people prefer positivity and want to like things, but it’s easy to get dragged down by negativity. When all a woman hears from her friends is jokes and mockery about anal sex, the chances of her wanting to try it is pretty minimal, but when she hears a friend share how it’s her favorite way to have sex and gives her the best orgasms she’s ever had, she’s probably going to want to try too, and it can start a dialogue about proper technique and how to begin.

So, the next time you hear someone say something negative about anal, be prepared to calmly and respectfully respond with your own positive opinions about it.

Reddit: Questions About Anal

1. Do you get poop on your partner?

2. Do you develop anal incontinence?

3. Long lasting issues from too much anal sex?

To which another Reddit user responds:

More anal enthusiast than anal only, but I’ll take a stab at these:

1. Do you get poop on your partner? Not on purpose (unless he’s into that 😏), but no matter how well you clean out, accidents will occasionally happen. Like everything else related to sex, communication is key, and knowing the limits of your body is a necessity. Good diet and establishing a bathroom and cleaning routine can help immensely.

2. Do you develop anal incontinence? Absolutely not. The anal sphincter is a muscle, and much like any other muscle in the body, it gets stronger with use, not weaker. I have learned what it feels like to relax my bowels, so I can warm up faster and worry far less about pain (initially, anal would hurt if I didn’t take time to warm up with plugs and toys but I can take a dick with no prep now), but I’ve never lost control of my bowels while not having sex.

3. Long lasting issues from too much anal sex? Only if you consider orgasms to be a bad thing 🙃. Anal feels great, makes me cum faster (and harder), keeps sex interesting, and somehow remains taboo (ass to mouth still makes me feel like a filthy whore). I love it!

Continue reading on /r/analonlylifestyle on Reddit