From Velunara on r/analonlylifestyle on Reddit:

Hello! I (F19) have been into anal play (AO) for quite some time now, and lately I’ve been reflecting on how it has impacted my life overall. To be honest, it’s hard for me to remember a single day in the past few years where I didn’t engage in some form of anal stimulation. It’s fair to say I’m addicted to it, but in a way that I’ve managed to turn into a massively positive force in my daily life. I’m a hardworking person with a lot of responsibilities, so when I realized my new hobby was starting to affect me negatively, I decided to find a solution. One creative approach that worked really well for me is turning anal play into a reward and motivation system. For example, when doing chores (cleaning, laundry, cooking, etc.), I start with my smallest butt plug. With every task I complete and cross off my to-do list, I switch to a bigger size. Once all my chores are done, I give myself time to fully relax and enjoy anal play however I want. I use the same strategy during workouts: with each exercise I finish, I increase the plug size or switch to a different toy. Squats on a dildo or crunches with anal beads have become some of my favorites , especially when I tilt my body to the side and push the beads in one by one with alternating hands before pulling them out and continuing the set. Since the pandemic, I’ve had a hybrid work setup (only two days in the office, the rest remote). On work-from-home days, I incorporate my toys and reward myself after completing each task. In short, by weaving anal play into my daily routine this way, I’ve become much more motivated to tackle my responsibilities. I actually look forward to starting my chores, workouts, and work now. I’m not sure if anyone else will find this interesting, but I’m curious, has anyone else struggled with an intense interest in anal and managed to channel it into their life in a similarly creative, productive way?

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Tina: I’ve stopped using my pussy entirely and I love being anal only in theory, but I still haven’t had a full orgasm from anal alone. Should I go back to clit stimulation or keep pushing through?

First off, congratulations on making the commitment! Loving the lifestyle “in theory” is a great start, but we want you to love it in practice, too. What you’re experiencing—the difficulty of reaching a hands-free anal orgasm—is incredibly common during the transition phase.

The reality is, your brain and body have likely been wired for years to associate climax with clitoral stimulation. Retraining those neural pathways takes time, patience, and often a change in technique. Should you go back? Not necessarily. If your goal is to be truly anal only, “pushing through” doesn’t mean depriving yourself of pleasure; it means evolving how you achieve it.

Try these three adjustments before you give up on the goal:

• Instead of total abstinence from clit stimulation, try using it only to get yourself 90% of the way there, then stop and focus entirely on the anal sensation for the finish. This helps your brain start to “transfer” the peak to the new sensation.
• Sometimes an anal orgasm requires a different kind of stimulation than a vaginal one. Experiment with different toy shapes or depths that put pressure in different places.
• The more you stress about the orgasm, the further away it stays. Focus on the feeling of being filled and the intimacy of the act itself. Often, the first anal orgasm happens when you finally stop chasing it.

Stay the course. Stick it out. You won’t regret it.

Elaine: My opinion might not be well received, but, as a woman, I truly believe it’s a man choice to put his penis wherever he wants. It’s their body, their penises. If they want an anal only lifestyle, I truly support it.

Thank you for sharing such a bold perspective. For those like you who embrace such a philosophy it can work quite well. However, I would argue a slightly altered perspective, because often this may lead to women having vaginal sex or losing their anal only commitment due to wanting to do what a man wants. I would advocate for women standing up for their anal only lifestyle and insisting men fuck them in the ass or not at all.

Ginger: My husband and I share a loving and strong marriage, raising a wonderful family together. Over time, our intimate connection has evolved, and we’ve grown comfortable exploring new ways to enjoy each other, especially through regular anal sex. We even watch porn—nothing too crazy, mostly gangbang related stuff.

But deep down, I don’t always feel completely fulfilled. It’s like there’s something more I need: to feel wanted, engaged, used in a way that’s raw and hardcore. The thought of being in a real gangbang and taking double anal keeps playing in my mind. I crave that surrender, that edge. The fantasy feels so strong and necessary to make me happy.

My problem is, I have no idea how to bring this up with my husband. He’s loving, but I’m torn between wanting more and fearing how it might change his view of me. I’m scared he’ll think I’m too much, or maybe gets interested in other women if we go too far. I want to keep our marriage special, but part of me feels selfish for wanting more without wanting to share him. Is anyone else in a similar spot? How do you approach this kind of conversation without risking everything good you already have?

I am really worried. I feel like time is slipping away, and if I don’t take the step to share these desires soon, it might never happen.

What you are feeling is a very natural progression. Often, as we get more comfortable with the intensity of anal only, our minds start pushing the boundaries of what that intensity could look like.

Your fear of how your husband will view you is the biggest hurdle most couples face. However, the fact that you already watch gangbang porn together is actually a huge green flag and suggests he enjoys the idea at some level as well.

My advice is to stop viewing this as selfish. If this fantasy is what you need to feel fully alive and engaged, sharing it is actually an act of intimacy, not a betrayal of the marriage. Start by talking about the content you watch together. Ask him, “What is it about these scenes that you think we both enjoy?” and use that as a bridge to say that you fantasize about being part of one.

You don’t have to jump into a real gangbang tomorrow. You can start with “simulated” double anal using toys or just deep roleplay to test the waters of that surrender you crave, and expand from there.

Jenna: Hi, I want to try having anal sex for the first time with my boyfriend and we’ve been trying a few times but haven’t been able to get him in yet. How can I get started, it doesn’t really hurt but it just doesn’t go.

Congrats on trying anal, I’m sure you’re going to love it once you get started and get into a more frequent routine with it!

Make sure to go through a good warmup process first. If you’re both comfortable with it, having him lick your butthole for a while before will help you relax, then make sure to add some lube to your anus and massage it with a finger, slide the finger in gently, and after you can comfortably fit a finger or two, you can go back to trying it with his lubricated penis. As he presses gently in line with your anus, try bearing down or “pushing out” which relaxes your anal muscles and opens them up for him. Go slow, but he should be able to start sliding inside.

Anonymous: My girlfriend and I have amazingly hot and vigorous sex. Unfortunately, she experienced a nasty UTI after vaginal sex which required antibiotics. And after this cleared up and we resumed having sex, she soon had to go to the doctor again, this time with tears inside her vagina that had become infected. The doctor even made jokes about “oh your man is very strong”.

We had also started exploring anal sex, which we found highly pleasurable and superior to vaginal sex. And since the tears incident, we decided to go anal only which turned out to be a great success. She hasn’t had any further problems, even with intensive action, perhaps even more intense than in the pussy since the pleasure and intimacy are so strong. I love how her anus gets wet, swallows my cock and clenches on it as she orgasms, and I think we don’t really need the pussy anymore, which can be a source of medical issues.

So glad to hear that going anal only has solved your sexual problems and given you both more intense pleasure and arousal in the process. Just another reason vaginal sex is inferior and unnecessary and everyone should try going anal only!

Emma: A few weeks since my last post. The craving never really eased, multiple men with two cocks stretching my ass wide, sliding together inside me, that deep, complete pressure that makes everything else fade. I needed it so much it was hard to breathe and be in the moment sometimes.

He’d noticed I wasn’t okay for months. Kept asking, sitting me down maybe four or five times to talk. Each time I couldn’t open up, just shut down. Last time I was too tired to keep dodging. I finally told him everything about my past, the wild orgies, the multiple men, the double anal that made me feel so alive and used. Tears came while I said it, voice shaking. How I love him, love what we have, but I’m starving without that intensity.

He took it all in quietly. Said it was a lot to process. He needed some time to think, to put it together in his head. We didn’t talk much for a couple days, but he wasn’t cold, just thinking. Then he came back and said he loves me too much to let me stay unhappy. Doesn’t want to lose me. We could try it. Slowly.

Last weekend we went to a special party, a themed “gangbang”. Small, trusted group, clear rules. We had a safe word just for him if it got too much, we’d leave immediately, no questions, no guilt. He stayed right beside me the whole time, hand on my shoulder or my back, grounding me.

The party evolved as I hoped. No safe word. I found myself at the center of the attention. Finally I felt two guys easing into my ass together, slow, careful, then deeper. I felt that familiar burn turn into the stretch I’d craved. They moved, found a rhythm, and I was in my element, moaning, taking it, coming hard. All eyes on me. During it I saw his discomfort at first, face tight, shifting to watch from different angles. I looked over a couple times and each time he seemed to settle more. Once he saw how completely I was into it, how I bloomed there, the tension eased. He kept watching.

On the way out I leaned on him, and he embraced me tight. Driving home he was quiet at first. Then he said he was proud of me. Proud of how I handled it, how natural and exhibitionist I was without shame. He liked seeing me bloom like that, come alive and dragging all the attention on me. He even said he could go again if I need it. He was curious, asked how double anal felt, really felt, and why it’s my thing, what draws me to that stretch and fullness so much. He wanted to hear it all.

We got home, my ass still tender and satisfied. He held me close. No drama, just soft talk. We’re figuring it out how often, how far. But I’m not hiding anymore, and he’s still right here. I am truly happy.

Thanks for this space. It helped me get here.

So good to hear from you again, and so glad that you took the step and made it happen! I hope that it becomes more frequent for you again and that he will start to take part as one of the men in your ass as well, alongside another guy.

Steve: My wife is great. Since she’s not into vaginal sex anymore, our sex life actually elevated in a way I didn’t expect. She started with anal-only, and after getting inspired by porn, she opened up to double anal. That’s become her favorite thing to see in movies and to do during sex, and she is amazing and very enthusiastic about it.

Over time, we also started going to special nights at a swinger club. We made a very clear agreement from the beginning: during these events, we don’t do anything alone and we don’t do anything without the other’s consent. This was the rule we both agreed on when she introduced the idea of group sex, and it helped me feel safe and connected to her even in these extreme but amazing situations. Until…

Recently my wife has been asking for something more specific. She wants to go to a “hot wife gangbang” evening but this time experience a gangbang with only black guys (3–4 men), including double anal, with me watching and not interacting. This has been a fantasy of hers since she saw it several times in porn. She has brought this up a couple of times now and seems very excited about it. I don’t know how to feel about it. Proud, afraid or jealous?

I am worried that this might change everything between us. I don’t want to block her from fulfilling a fantasy that clearly means a lot to her, but I also don’t fully know how I feel about it. I’m afraid of the emotional consequences and what it might do to our relationship dynamic, my self-esteem, and our trust, even though we’ve already opened our sex life to some extent.

Has anyone been in a similar situation, or has experience with this kind of step in an otherwise loving marriage? How did you handle your boundaries, jealousy, and fears? What should I be thinking about before saying yes or no to this?

It sounds like the two of you have had a very fulfilling sex life together so far. Her going anal only and then moving towards double anal is both wonderful and a common trend these days and it’s great to see.

What you’ve done so far, sharing these group experiences together, is a common way for couples to expand into group sex and manage jealousy and potential conflict. It seems like she wants to pursue additional fantasies she has, while still including you as best as possible.

If you’re comfortable giving it a try, I encourage at least trying it this once and then being very open with each other after about what you did and didn’t like and whether you want to continue trying going forward. Make sure to include plenty of things that you want as well in other sessions and with some give and take, you can undoubtedly both get what you want and need out of this.

Good luck!

Anonymous: Hello! Idk if you remember me but I’m still obsessed with anal and anal only since I discovered anal in 2012 and become addicted. I never forget to learn about hygiene, prep, safe practices and etc as well 😜 (I read anal only lifestyle blog frequently since 2019 btw) I remember mentioning that I’m very sex repulsed because it always revolve around vaginal sex and plus it’s too painful to think about it including getting pregnant. However my libido went crazy when it comes to anal and anal is the only healthy drug that is relaxing, soothing, and healing for my mental health and self-esteem. Anal also makes my feet curl and tingle full of pleasure wave. Since then, I’ve used duct tape to shut my front part and focus on training and pleasuring my asshole only. I could feel intense ecstasy filling my body, my lips becoming warm and my whole body heating up every time I masturbate my asshole, it’s like I couldn’t live without anal. I’m not ashamed of being addicted to anal and I wish I can be reincarnated as a different girl, cute and innocent, potentially settling down with someone special. 😀

Great to hear from you again! Your journey is a perfect example of how the anal only lifestyle can be about so much more than just a physical preference, it’s a path to reclaiming your sexuality on your own terms.

Using vaginal chastity to focus entirely on your training is a great option and shows a deep level of dedication to your own pleasure. It’s wonderful that you’ve been able to get so much pleasure from anal and vaginal abandonment and I love that it provides such a healing wave of ecstasy.

Your honesty about using this lifestyle to manage your mental health and self-esteem is something I think a lot of readers will find relatable. Thank you for staying such a dedicated reader for all these years and for sharing your experiences with us!

Rafaela: Hello, my name is Rafaela and I’m from Brasil. In 2026, I’ll be 35. I’ve only had anal sex three times. Two of these experiences were frustrating because the guys were already on the verge of cumming, so they lasted only seconds. For the other one, I literally hired a male escort because I wanted to feel pain—real pain. I was facing a difficult time and I needed something to make me ‘feel alive,’ and what’s better for that than pain?

I was lucky the guy was really sadistic (lol); it hurt a lot. I had to bite my pillow, the sheets, even the bed, but I didn’t ask him to stop—I really needed that. He was so rough I thought I was going to die, but once he finished and removed his penis, I sat up and it felt like nothing had happened. Really—no pain, no nothing. We chatted a bit and he left.

I felt incredible. I felt alive. I felt that I am able to push my limits and go further in life, even in other areas, not just sex. It changed my view of the world; I feel more courageous. And, most importantly, I became addicted. I haven’t had another anal experience since then, but I know I want it. Now, when I have sex and there’s no anal penetration, it feels incomplete. I really want to enter this new world, but I confess I feel a bit nervous, especially because I know how painful it can be if not done properly. Actually, I don’t even know if it’s done properly, if it will still be painful.

I have a few potential sexual partners with whom I chat, and they say they would love to have a lot of anal sex. The whole point is: how should I start? By putting things inside, like a butt plug, and trying to wear it for a long period? I’ve tried, but I couldn’t manage to keep it inside for more than, I don’t know, 10 seconds. It hurts. I think I already have the right mindset, but I need some encouragement. Could you provide it for me? Give me a step-by-step guide to follow, starting from the very beginning? I’ll wait for your response. Thank you for your patience in reading all this.

Hello, and thanks for reaching out. I’m glad that you’re looking to embrace anal sex and potentially go anal only. I highly recommend checking out our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle which goes into great detail about all the various aspects of anal and AO.