Vaginal sex is seen by most of the world as the default. It’s what people are taught in school, what most movies and books always show, what relationships are expected to revolve around. It’s treated as the “normal” way to have sex — and the “right” way to have a relationship.

But normal doesn’t mean necessary. And when you strip away reproduction, there’s no reason at all for vaginal sex to hold any special status. If you aren’t looking to have children right now, vaginal sex has no purpose, no advantage, and no place in your lives.

Why Vaginal Is Treated as the Default

Vaginal sex became the norm for one reason: reproduction. It exists as a cultural expectation because of its ability to make babies. That’s it. Sure, it can be pleasurable to many people. It provides intimacy and connection. But fundamentally, it’s because of reproduction and ease, and anal provides pleasure, intimacy, passion and more far better than vaginal can.

Once you take away reproduction as the goal and replace it with anal, vaginal sex loses its entire reason for being. And the truth is, most modern sex isn’t about making children anyway. It’s about intimacy, expression, and satisfaction. And for those things, anal is superior in every way.

Vaginal sex is:

• Vulnerable to accidental pregnancy
• Less pleasurable for many women, and even painful or uncomfortable for some
• Focused on quick, easy climax and less on mutual pleasure
• Less enjoyable for men
• Loaded with expectations that treat women like passive recipients

Anal sex, on the other hand, is:

• Deliberate and deeply focused
• Physically more intense, emotionally more vulnerable
• Centered on preparation, patience, and full-body surrender
• Pleasure for the sake of pleasure

Even Reproduction Doesn’t Require Vaginal Sex

Some women still want to get pregnant — and that’s valid. But even that doesn’t require giving up anal only living. If reproduction is the goal, there are ways to accomplish it without ever having vaginal sex.

• Pull-out vaginal insemination: Your partner can pull out while orgasming and insert his penis into the vagina only to ejaculate inside
• Transfer from rectum to vagina: It’s possible to orgasm in the rectum, then use fingers or a syringe to move semen from one to the other, or push out the semen while holding open the vagina and letting it run inside
• IVF or clinical methods: For those who want children with full control, there are medical options that don’t require vaginal intercourse at all.

You can stay true to your anal only identity and still become a mother — if that’s what you want. But even that doesn’t make vaginal sex necessary. It’s optional. And for many who live anal only, it’s not even that. It’s rejected.

Moving Forward, No Looking Back

If you’ve already stopped vaginal sex, this is your reminder that you’re not missing anything. If you haven’t yet, this is your invitation to begin. You don’t need to wait for a special moment or the perfect excuse. Just decide:

“I’m done with vaginal sex. I reject vaginal normativity. I live anal only.”

And if you ever doubt it, look at the facts: vaginal sex is only “normal” because of old ideas about reproduction. But in every other way — for pleasure, focus, control, connection — anal sex wins. Every time.

Make your life better. Make it anal only.

Anal Only Lesbian: DAP is my biggest fantasy, I’m anal only in relationship with another woman and we both only use our ass. It’s always been a kink of mine but I never said it, as I was a bit shameful. Now though, it feels like double anal is everywhere! I feel like the world is telling me to do it as I see it everywhere in porn and on Reddit.

I’m still not sure how to do it in practice though. I have a number of toys and am planning on getting a chute butt plug soon which allows for anal with the plug left inserted. I think this is a good start and I’m training with my largest existing plug until then.

I’m curious how to broach the topic of “real” DAP with my girlfriend as I’m worried she’ll be insulted that her lesbian girlfriend needs not one but two real cocks in my ass. She’s less extreme than me sexually and I don’t think she thinks about double anal even with toys or anything. She doesn’t watch or read any porn so I don’t think she’s been very exposed to DAP.

How can I discuss this with my girlfriend gently so I don’t scare her off? Also any suggestions or anything for getting more into DAP, I’m all ears.

Thank you for reaching out — it’s always encouraging to hear from women who are living a committed anal only lifestyle and still pushing themselves forward. Double anal really is the natural next step. It’s not just a kink — it’s the true expression of the anal only mindset: one hole, stretched and shared, fully opened and fully claimed. And you’re absolutely right — DAP is having a moment. It’s more visible than ever because more women are realizing it’s not just for porn — it’s for them.

As for how to move toward real double anal, you’re already on the right path. Training with large plugs and investing in toys like the chute-style plug are all smart steps, and as you open up, start using two dildos side by side. The more consistent your practice, the more ready your body will be when the opportunity comes. If you haven’t yet, take a look at our Guide to Double Anal Sex — it breaks down the process in more detail.

Now about your girlfriend — your instincts are right to approach it with care, but you also shouldn’t hide your desire or feel ashamed for wanting more. Let her know you’ve been fantasizing about double anal for a long time and it’s a craving that’s growing. Frame it as something you want her to be part of, even if it’s just with toys at first. Let her see how much pleasure and intensity it gives you — how much your body responds.

If you already use strapons together, you could ask her to fuck your ass while you ride a second dildo. Or invite her to be in full control — one dildo in her hand, one you’re riding — both in your ass at the same time. Let her see it, feel it, claim it. That shared experience may help open up her own interest in stretching further, or at least in supporting you in it.

If the fantasy involves real men, that’s something you’d want to approach separately, and only if the relationship is ready for that kind of shift. But it doesn’t have to be about other men. You already live a fully anal only life with your girlfriend, and you can absolutely enjoy double anal together as well. She may not be ready to receive DAP herself, but you are, and hopefully she wants to help you get there.

The most important thing is that you stay open, true to yourself, and proud of what your body is craving. DAP isn’t just a fantasy — it’s a calling for many anal only women. And you’re ready.

Peter: I’ve been married for 10 years, have a 7-year-old kid, and honestly, we’re happy with just the one—no plans for more. My wife is a stay-at-home mom, and she’s amazing. Our home life is solid, everything’s on point, and we’re having sex at least twice a week. So far, so good.

Here’s the thing: since she decided no more kids, she’s gotten really into anal. Like, she wants it only anal now. And honestly, she’s killing it—always trying to get better and pushing boundaries. For over a year, she’s been stepping up the game, going into double anal penetration with toys. She’s super proud of her progress, and honestly, so am I!

Now, here’s the key part: she’s let slip a couple of times on different occasions—usually when she’s a bit tipsy—that she’d love to try real-life double anal. That’s a pretty big deal for her. But the next day, once sober, she acts like she never said it and swears she’d never do that to me. She comes from a pretty religious family, so maybe that’s why she’s holding back or feeling conflicted.

So here’s where I’m stuck: she’s amazing to me and our kid, and I want to make her happy. Is it okay if I push to make this happen? Am I okay for wanting to fulfill her secret desires, even if she’s a little hesitant or unsure? Or am I reading too much into it?

So, am I okay? Am I okay that I am ready to let my wife have this experience not just with me, but with another man, to fulfill her fantasy and make her happy? Is it normal to want to help your wife live out her secret fantasies, even if she’s a bit scared or unsure? Is this a normal evolution for my wife?

Any advice? I’m all ears. Thanks!

It sounds like you two have a wonderful anal only life together and it’s wonderful that she wants to push it further. The fact that you already do double anal with toys is a clear indication that this is something she truly craves and wants, and since DAP with two men is even better than with just you and a toy, it makes sense she wants to feel that experience fully. Real double anal with two men is more than just a physical upgrade from a toy. It’s an emotional and sexual evolution — full commitment to anal only, total focus on her ass from two men, and the intensity of being claimed and shared anally. Many women who practice double anal with toys feel the need to be taken in full by two men — it becomes the next logical step. It’s not strange at all — it means she’s ready.

Instead of just bringing up her past comments, frame it around how much you love doing double anal with her already — and that you’d love to experience it for real with another man beside you. Let her know this isn’t just about her fantasy. It’s something you want too. That creates space for her to open up — no pressure, no guilt — just shared excitement and celebration. She’ll feel safe to say yes if she knows you’re already saying it first.

And who knows — maybe in time, she’ll be ready to go double anal only. It wouldn’t be a surprise. It would just be the next step.

For women drawn to the unique fullness, connection, and intensity of double anal sex (DAP), the desire can feel both thrilling and intimidating. Many have fantasized about it — the taboo, the closeness, the surrender — but don’t know how to begin, or how to even talk about it with a partner.

We are here to tell you: yes, it’s absolutely possible — and more than that, it can be empowering, deeply intimate, and even life-changing. Whether you’ve already embraced the anal only lifestyle or are simply curious, double anal is a natural next step for those ready to go deeper — both physically and spiritually.

The Appeal of Double Anal

So why are more women openly embracing double anal?

• Intense fullness: Double anal offers an incomparable physical sensation — the stretch, the pressure, the depth.
• Erotic surrender: It requires trust, relaxation, and letting go — things that can deepen intimacy with your partner.
• Total commitment to anal only: For many, it’s the purest form of the lifestyle — a full rejection of vaginal sex and a full embrace of anal connection, where even multiple men share your ass rather than using your vagina.

And you don’t have to jump right into a two-man experience. You can start where you are — by yourself or with the man you trust most.

How to Introduce the Idea to Your Partner

If you’re craving double anal but aren’t sure how to bring it up, you’re not alone — even in open, trusting relationships, certain fantasies can feel intimidating to share. But the truth is, most partners want to know what turns you on — especially when you present it with excitement and clarity.

Here’s how to ease into the conversation:

1. Frame it as a shared adventure

Instead of saying, “I want double anal,” try:

“I’ve been fantasizing about something a little more intense… something we could explore together.”

This invites curiosity rather than pressure.

2. Share your why

Be honest about what excites you — whether it’s the fullness, the submission, the symbolism, or the idea of deepening your bond. If you already practice anal only together, this is a natural next step.

You might say:

“I’ve loved the intimacy we share with anal, and I’ve been wondering what it would feel like to take it even further — just you and me, plus a toy.”

3. Normalize it with facts or fantasy

Double anal might be taboo, but it’s also a common fantasy. You can reference erotic stories, videos, or even this blog. Let him know it’s not weird — it’s wildly hot.

If he’s nervous or surprised, let him process. Curiosity often grows once the seed is planted.

4. Start small and let him lead too

Make it clear that this isn’t about replacing or minimizing him — it’s about growing together. If he’s open, you can shop for a toy together, or plan a night to explore it gently.

Starting at Home: Your Partner + a Dildo

One of the easiest, most comfortable ways to begin exploring double anal is by using two dildos or by combining your partner’s penis with a toy to simulate DAP while you control the pace.

Tips for Getting Started:

1. Have an open conversation
   Let your partner know what you’re craving — not just physically, but emotionally. Emphasize your trust in them and your desire to explore this together.
2. Pick the right toy
   A realistic silicone dildo with a softer outside and rigid core is ideal for DAP. It simulates the natural give of a real second penis and can be much easier than a fully rigid toy.
3. Prep matters
   DAP requires more preparation than solo anal. Spend extra time on warm-up (with plugs or fingers) and plenty of lube. Even if you can do single anal without much lube, you’ll need more for double anal.
4. Positioning is everything
   Experiment with different positions, as some might be easier to start with than others. Doggy style with your partner behind you and the toy inserted first is often a great way to start. Or have him enter first, and then slowly guide the toy in. Cowgirl positions (with you on top) allow you the most control, but may be harder to insert the dildo at first.
5. Breathe, relax, and listen to your body
   It’s okay to take breaks, laugh, adjust, and try again. You’re creating a new shared experience — don’t rush perfection.

Moving Toward True DAP: Opening the Door to a Second Partner

Once you’ve experienced the sensation and intimacy of simulated DAP, it’s natural to consider expanding into a two-man scenario. This is a personal decision, and should only be done with full consent, communication, and preparation.

Ask Yourself:

• Am I emotionally ready for a second man in this space?
• Is my partner open to this, or does he just want to stick with us and a dildo?
• Do I want this for the sensation, the submission, the symbolism — or all three?

You’re allowed to want it all. And you’re allowed to go at your own pace.

Some women arrange threesomes where their male partner remains fully involved — choosing the second man, setting the rules, and keeping the focus on you.

Others explore anonymous or semi-anonymous arrangements, often facilitated by trusted communities online.

Whatever your path, remember: your body, your boundaries, your rules.

Why Double Anal Only?

Choosing to go double anal only — as a commitment, a lifestyle, a sexual philosophy — takes things even further.

It’s more intense, moving beyond single anal penetration to commit to always have sex with two partners in your ass every time you have sex. It’s a total renunciation of vaginal sex in all its forms. It says, “My pleasure, my power, my path, all go through one place — and I’m proud of it.”

Women who’ve made this choice describe feeling:

• More focused and connected to their partners, and feeling the joy of pleasuring them both anally at the same time
• Freed from expectation — many women initially feel the need to stay anally tight, whereas double anal allows them to embrace loose gaping and still provide incredible pleasure
• Turned on by their own discipline and commitment — by first giving up vaginal sex and then giving up single anal, and staying committed to it, it creates a life of disciplined pleasure that just grows the more the commitment remains
• A life of increased pleasure — double anal is like anal, but even better, with more stimulation, more intense stretching, more pleasure, and far greater orgasms from two partners moving inside your ass.

It’s a bold stand. And one you can work toward, little by little, with each intimate experience. You don’t need to rush. You don’t need to be perfect. And you absolutely don’t need permission. If your body craves fullness, if your heart longs to give up the old norms, if your fantasies linger on two shafts pressing deep and filling you up completely — embrace it. Talk to your partner. Try it once. Try it again.

This is your journey to double anal only. Start it tonight.

Anonymous: I have recently become curious about anal play and find that with a little stimulation my rectum produces enough mucus that I don’t need lube. I can use toys or just my fingers. It is really hard to find anyone talking about this on the web.

Everyone has natural anal lubrication to some extent, to help with digestion. The body produces anal mucous in response to stimulus. It’s often not enough for everyone to anally masturbate or have sex with, but as you train your anus to be more relaxed and elastic, it can be enough lube for some people, or your body may produce more in response over time. Some people even report developing a response to arousal where their anus begins lubricating similar to the vagina.

If it’s enough lubrication for you, great. If not, you might want to start out with a little bit of lube at first and then let your body’s natural lubrication take over, or supplement with more lube as you go larger in size if you find yourself feeling irritation from the more intense stimulation. Listen to your body and it will tell you if you need more lube than your body provides.

In a world addicted to excess, the anal only lifestyle offers a radical return to discipline, intention, and erotic clarity. For some, it starts as a preference — but for most, it becomes something far more: a calling. A shedding of the old, a conscious rejection of vaginal sex, and a path to sexual minimalism that frees the mind, body, and spirit.

Welcome to the practice of Anal Asceticism.

What Is Anal Asceticism?

Anal Asceticism is the spiritual and philosophical extension of the anal only lifestyle. It draws on the idea that less can be more — that by abstaining from vaginal sex and other distractions, we open space for a deeper, more intentional sexual experience. It is both erotic and ascetic, grounded and transcendent.

It’s not just about what we do with our bodies — it’s about why, how, and for whom.

The Core Principles

Discipline Over Indulgence

At its heart, Anal Asceticism is about choice. Not repression, but redirection. Vaginal sex may be available, even encouraged by culture — but we consciously say no. Not because we lack options, but because we’ve found a better one.

This is a lifestyle of mastery: mastery over impulse, distraction, and cultural expectation.

Sacred Sexual Simplicity

Vaginal sex often brings with it assumptions, scripts, and power structures we didn’t write. By limiting our erotic lives to anal intimacy, we shed those defaults. We reclaim the act — whether alone or with others — as intentional, meaningful, and deeply personal.

It’s not less — it’s pure.

Clean Living

Let’s be honest: Anal sex requires preparation. Attention to hygiene, consent, trust. There’s no autopilot. Anal Ascetics embrace this. We slow down. We clean up. We clear out distractions — literally and metaphorically.

This is not messy living. It’s clean freedom.

What the Practice Looks Like

Anal Asceticism can take many forms, depending on where you are in your journey:

• For the Partnered: It means rejecting vaginal-centric scripts and reimagining intimacy as something sacred and precise. Each session becomes a ceremony.
• For the Single: It means exploring anal eroticism without needing others — from butt plug wear and more advanced anal masturbation to double anal dildo play and mindful fantasy. It’s about commitment to the self.
• For the Curious: It means beginning the transition by reframing your sexual choices as a lifestyle, not just a kink. Replace “normal” with “chosen.”

The Benefits

Mental Clarity

By removing distractions and cultural defaults, we gain sharpness. Less confusion. More intention. Sex is no longer a tangle of shoulds and scripts — it becomes simple, clear, true.

Emotional Depth

There is a deeper vulnerability and trust required in anal intimacy. Practicing only that form creates stronger bonds, better communication, and more conscious care.

Erotic Power

Anal Ascetics are not passive. We are choosing. With each rejection of vaginal normativity, we grow stronger — not just in our sexual lives, but in how we move through the world.

From Individual Practice to Global Movement

What would it look like if more people chose the anal only lifestyle?

What if culture began to normalize — even revere — this focused, intentional lifestyle?

Anal Asceticism isn’t just personal. It’s political. It’s spiritual. It’s transformative.

It’s the first step toward an anal only world.

If you’ve already gone anal only, try going deeper. Consider where you might still be influenced by old habits, expectations, or impulses. What does your anal discipline look like? How might you refine it?

And if you’re just starting out — welcome. There is peace and power on this path.

Live clean. Live free. Live anal only.

Elodie: I stumbled upon this forum and found the questions of my female predecessors. I feel encouraged in asking for an unbiased opinion from you. I hope you can offer some insight or advice. I’m 32, and married. No kids and not planning on any right now. I’ve got a question about my sex life and feelings.

For the last 7 years, I’ve been into anal only, and for the past 2 years, I’ve been exploring DAP with a toy (about half the time). I feel pretty proud of myself for being able to do this and really loving it. Is it wrong to feel this way?

Here’s where it gets complicated: During our intimate times, especially when we watch group sex porn movies, we joke about me being as good as the young girls in porn doing DAP. We also joke about trying it for real someday in some swinger club, sex parties or similar. The thing is, I really think I actually want to try it for real, but I don’t want to share my husband with other women.

Am I being selfish? Is it okay to feel this way? I’m not sure how to handle these feelings.

Also, I’ve been reading more and more about women liking DAP and group sex. It seems to be something that gets more attractive once we women get older. Is this true or just some internet hoax, and I’m one of the few ones?

That’s wonderful to hear that you’ve had committed to anal only the past seven years and have been enjoying double anal for the past two years. Half of the time you have sex spent on double anal is something to be proud of! It’s absolutely not wrong to feel that way, and you have my encouragement to be openly proud of it!

It’s also very normal to compare yourself to girls in porn when you’re doing so well with DAP, and to start wanting to do it more frequently or with multiple men to experience DAP “for real”. As for not wanting to share your husband with other woman, that can be a bit more complex—but have you talked to him about it? Maybe he’s happy to DAP you with other men and doesn’t want more than that. Ultimately it comes down to what you both want and compromising on things that may not be perfect. I definitely encourage taking the step of starting to have double anal sex with two men, as it’s a wonderful experience for everyone involved when done right!

It’s definitely becoming increasingly popular for women to explore DAP or enjoy it regularly. Some of this is women becoming older and more confident in what they want, some is DAP becoming more widely known and enjoyed thanks to porn and just more mainstream exposure to it. Either way, it’s a good thing, because DAP is wonderful and beautiful and should be enjoyed by everyone!

Have you considered going double anal only at some point in the future? That’s also an increasing trend and I encourage trying it if you love DAP!

Grace: My name is Grace, and I’m 27 years old. I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about a year. I have a strong preference for anal sex over vaginal, but he prefers vaginal and only engages in anal to make me happy, as he doesn’t particularly enjoy it himself.

We occasionally watch porn together, and I find myself really attracted to group sex scenes, especially those involving double anal penetration. These scenes make me incredibly aroused, and I often imagine myself in such scenarios. However, he’s not comfortable with these types of scenes.

In private, I’ve experimented with anal toys and really enjoy them. For a longer period now, I have been fantasizing about trying double anal with him using a toy, but also with another man involved. This desire has become something that I feel needs to be part of my life, and I’m struggling to reconcile this with my current relationship dynamics.

I’m unsure how to approach this with my boyfriend, given his preferences and discomfort with certain types of content. I’m starting to feel like this might be a deal-breaker for me, and I’m considering two options: either ending the relationship to find someone more compatible with my desires, or possibly building a secret life where I can explore these fantasies without his knowledge.

I’m torn between honesty and the potential consequences, and the desire to fulfill my needs without hurting him. Could you provide some guidance on how to navigate this situation, or how to communicate these desires with my partner in a way that respects both of our feelings and boundaries?

I’m sorry to hear that your partner doesn’t share your preference for anal. What leads him to prefer vaginal over anal? Does he not get as much physical pleasure from anal, or does he dislike the idea of anal sex? If he doesn’t like anal at all, you may have a hard time convincing him. If he prefers more sensation, though, it’s possible that starting to do double anal with him would be more pleasurable for him.

I encourage honesty and finding compatible partners over dishonesty and cheating, so if you are unsatisfied, you should be very clear with him that you want to be anal only and to start doing double anal, and ask him if he’s willing to try while also working to make it more pleasurable for him. If, for example, he wants more spontaneity that can be harder with anal, making the effort to stay clean and ready for anal at all times through diet, cleaning daily if needed, and wearing a butt plug when not having sex can make that much easier.

If he’s not interested in trying to go anal only or having double anal, you may need to end the relationship and find a partner who will be compatible with you sexually and who obsessively wants anal only with you as well, and wants to stretch your ass with his cock and a dildo, and eventually two cocks. I highly recommend pursuing the anal only lifestyle, double anal, and ultimately going double anal only.

Abby: Hi, I’ve been anal only with my boyfriend for two and a half years now, and it’s been great, we do it every few days if not every day sometimes, and we have been exploring stretching a lot too. We use some bigger toys, which helps make frequent anal easy since my boyfriend is quite large, both girthy and long. We have also incorporated some other guys into our sex life, mostly spitroasting and them running a train on my ass. My boyfriend wants us to start having double anal sex and I would love to as well but I was wondering if you had any advice for how to do it safely given his size.

Thanks for reaching out, it’s so good to hear that you’ve been having a good anal only experience and are now looking to advance things to double anal. I know it can be intimidating if you have a large partner already, but it’s well worth it to start doing double anal or even going to double anal only.

Since you already play with toys regularly, I encourage starting to go to toys larger than your partner when masturbating, and then starting to have sex with him with a smaller dildo alongside his cock. You can work up from there to a dildo similar in size to him or the partners you plan on having double anal sex with, until it’s easy and comfortable to do so regularly. I’d encourage starting out doing this at least once a week, and increasing from there.

Similar to getting started with anal, advancing to DAP is just about gradual progress and going slowly enough at first that things don’t hurt. If you stick with that, you’ll be just fine and you’ll be taking two cocks up your ass in no time! From there, I recommend exploring the idea of going double anal only, even if just sticking with your boyfriend and a dildo every time you have sex at first, and then swapping that dildo for another guy when available.

Good luck, you’re going to love it!

Lea: I’m a 19-year-old female in a relationship for a year. Very early on, I learned that anal was THE thing for my man. I was an anal virgin, he was very patient with me, and I learned to appreciate it. At first it was like once a fortnight, then once every week, then 2 to 3 times a week… For like 6 months, anal became the de facto penetration for us with occasional vaginal intercourse once every fortnight.

Since January, we only do anal, and I try to not even use my clit, but I still haven’t had a single anal orgasm… This is getting frustrating.

We are considering buying a sex machine for me to help me achieve an orgasm. Is that a good strategy or is there a better way to get to that goal?

I’m very glad to hear that anal quickly became your norm and that you’ve been anal only so far this year. It’s well worth the commitment, clit denial doubly so, even though it can be frustrating at first as you learn to adjust.

Anal orgasms can be tricky because everyone orgasms a bit differently, and so what works for one person may not for others. For some people, the best approach is to simply stop vaginal/clitoral stimulation altogether and learn to adapt to anal stimulation. This can take multiple months but can work.

For others, what tends to work best is to stop vaginal penetration but still include some clitoral stimulation alongside the anal penetration, almost edging with your clit but then trying to get over the edge with the anal penetration. This further associates anal penetration with pleasure and orgasm and then gradually you can use your clit less and less as your ass takes up more and more of the role of orgasm trigger.

I encourage continuing with anal only and exploring ways to achieve anal orgasm, and if you find that you need to just use your clit occasionally at first to orgasm during anal rather than giving up anal only altogether, that is a better compromise than giving up anal only and going back to vaginal penetration.

A machine may help, but with practice and patience you should be able to get to anal orgasm with your boyfriend without needing a machine.