Melissa: Hi everyone, I’ve been happily married for almost 10 years. For the past 12 years, I have only done anal sex. In the last couple of years, my husband and I have been sporadically enjoying double anal with a toy, which I really like.

Recently, my husband started expressing his interest a few times in stepping up to real double anal that includes a friend of his or going to a swinger club, like a “sharing your wife” or “gangbang” event. I told him I needed time to think about it. Internally I was shocked! I was raised in a Christian family, though I am not very religious anymore, but some values from that background still influence me in my world views.

I have secretly dreamed though about being in a double anal gangbang, but this is just a fantasy my husband doesn’t know about.

This is a topic I don’t want to discuss with my friends nor with my husband. I hope to find advice here.

My concerns are these: His request makes me feel as if I’m not good enough for him anymore or wonder if he loves me less. Taking this step makes me feel like I might be betraying him and our marriage or even becoming a “whore” because now I had sex with more men.

Also, what if I like this new experience and it changes our relationship because I want to have it on a regular basis? How do I handle the possible changes?

It sounds like you have a wonderful life and marriage, and it’s so fantastic that you’ve been anal only for the past 12 years. That’s definitely something to be proud of!

It sounds like the physicality of double anal is already something that you enjoy, as is the fantasy of a gangbang, but you aren’t sure if you want to take that step with additional partners. I would suggest making double anal a more regular thing with your husband and toys, leaning into the fantasy together but still with just the two of you, and then after a few months, revisit the idea and discuss together how you would like to approach trying it, and talk through potential concerns. You say that you don’t want to discuss it with him, but communication in the relationship is key with anything, especially something like this.

I will say this: your husband wanting to try this you is not likely a sign he loves you less, but likely that he adores you and wants to try something you both enjoy together along with additional partners. It’s not a betrayal of him or becoming a “whore”, it’s a celebration of what you have together and expanding it to trying an experience that you might both love.

Very likely you will both love the experience and want to do it more regularly. Having that baseline of regular DAP with a toy will help with that as you decide how best to introduce other partners into your routine.

Francesca: Hi everyone, so… what does really qualifies someone as living a double anal only lifestyle?

I’m living with my new partner, and we love watching hardcore porn together, always focused on pure anal and double anal, no pussy at all. The latter annoys me more then my partner. Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I had anything in my vagina, not even a toy. When we have sex, usually about three times a week, we start directly with anal. But I get impatient pretty fast and make my boyfriend take out my beloved artificial dick and put it in my ass too, even if it’s a bit uncomfortable at first. I’m willing to accept that small discomfort to satisfy my craving for double anal.

Does this count as a double anal only lifestyle, even though we usually start with single anal for a minute or two? Or am I missing something? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Thanks for reaching out! I would classify that as double anal always/mostly, and well on its way to double anal only. A minute or two isn’t much single anal, but it’s still a little bit. Once you get to the point that you don’t consider any single anal fucking as part of sex, and always go straight to sliding one in and then the other to get started, or both together, that’s when I think the pure double anal only mindset kicks in.

That’s not meant to lessen what you’re doing, though, I think it’s wonderful that you’re at this point, and encourage you to keep it up and maybe even consider taking the last little step to pure DAO.

Welcome to the 13th annual No Pussy November! It’s that time of the year again where we challenge everyone to forego vaginal sex entirely and fully embrace the benefits and pleasures of the anal only lifestyle.

Whether you’re new to the anal only lifestyle or a long-standing devotee, No Pussy November offers a unique opportunity to explore or strengthen your commitment to the anal only path and explore new levels of pleasure and intimacy.

For newcomers to the lifestyle, this month is a great opportunity to try out anal sex and masturbation as your exclusive sexual activities. Commit to daily anal stimulation, either by yourself or with a partner, and see how your body responds. You may just find that it’s an enjoyable and satisfying change!

For our experienced anal only followers, we challenge you to push your boundaries even further. Are you regularly wearing your butt plug? Maybe it’s time to upsize or try to wear it for longer periods. Have you tried double anal yet? This might be the perfect opportunity to introduce this more intense pleasure into your routine.

We’re also continuing our advanced challenge from years past: Double Anal Only November. For those of you who are up to the challenge, try to incorporate double anal in every sexual encounter this month, either with two partners, a partner and a toy, or two toys if you’re playing solo.

So, who’s with us for No Pussy November this year? Let us know what your plans are, and keep us updated with your progress.

Eva & Michael: Hey folks, just wanted to pop in and share a little slice of our delightfully naughty life from somewhere in Europe. Happily married with kids, we stumbled upon this blog a while back that helped us open some pretty wild doors, so thought it’d be only fair to give a little something back.

It all started innocently enough when our kids were little and we enjoyed loads of couple time at home, often surfing the porn waves together. Slowly but surely, we veered into anal centric territory. We discovered double anal. She liked the look of it and we dived headfirst into DAP (with a toy), and… my wife downright fell in love with it. These days, she’s pretty much “Double Anal Only” and proud of it.

Now that the kids have outgrown the baby stage, we get to ditch them with their grandparents for a couple of days and hit the swinger clubs about once or twice a month to fortify our relationship, to recharge and play a little.

My wife’s a force of nature: bold, brash, sometimes cocky and chose to be on a to disrupt old-school thinking. She targets “couple nights” at the clubs, gets chatting, and susses out which women are stuck in the “pussy only” mindset versus those who might dare to try max anal. We usually end up in a fun little orgy with one or two of those more conservative couples.

Always condoms, naturally.

When things get hot and heavy, my wife either taps me or another guy in the group to get the party started in her ass… and that’s when she hits full ecstatic mode. The men get the real full DAP thrill, and the women? Well, some get envious and want to jump on the bandwagon and try it out, but most blush hard. BUT all of them head home with their partners confronting some new and very intense bedroom expectations. Either way, she’s pumped when her plan works.

So yeah, this blog helped us explore and embrace things many shy away from, and we hope sharing our little happy marriage receipt inspires a few more to open their minds and, well, their horizons.

That’s so great to hear, anal only and double anal evangelism really go a long way in encouraging more people to try. Have you had many AO/DAP converts as a result? It’s also awesome to hear that your wife is basically double anal only at this point herself! Any plans to make that full strict DAO in the future?

Lilly: Hey everyone, I wanted to get some advice on something new I’m thinking about.

I first found out about anal when I was 16 and with my first boyfriend. Since then, anal sex became kind of my go-to because it was easier sometimes than dealing with condoms or the pill. I’m 23 now and currently with my boyfriend, who’s 28. We’ve been together for almost 9 months.

Sometimes we watch porn together, mostly group sex. It really turns me on. I love to watch it with him and don’t like watching it alone either. Usually, I ask him to search for something rougher, and we stumbled upon some scenes with double anal that I find insanely hot. I think he’s noticed that too.

Recently, during one of those scenes, we started talking, we were joking about DAP and we got somehow to a point he asked if I would ever consider trying double anal with one of his friends as a birthday present for him. I asked him if he was serious and I told him I’d need to think about it.

Honestly, I don’t want to chicken out because this is something I really want to try and I also would like to make him this birthday gift. But I’ve never done double anal play with a dildo or anything, and his birthday is coming up soon. I’m worried I might not have enough time to train and prepare.

So, here are my questions:

1) Since I do anal regularly, how hard is it to train for double anal play quickly?

2) If I do try it but I’m not 100% prepared physically (I can see myself so eager to try it, that I go hard on them and not feel any signals my body might be giving), am I at risk of permanent damage?

3) Also, could doing something like this ruin my relationship or affect how people see me?

Anyone who’s been down this path or has tips, please share. I want to do this safely but also don’t want to miss out on something hot just because I’m scared or overly cautious.

Thanks so much for sharing and reaching out, it sounds like you have a wonderful opportunity to explore a shared fantasy. I would suggest not going too fast with this plan, though, and making sure that you’re actually ready for it first!

Doing anal regularly is a great first step, it means your anus is likely well-conditioned and in a good place to stretch open more pretty quickly and easily without injury. You still want to avoid going about it too quickly and listening to your body, though.

I strongly suggest trying it first with two dildos, or with your boyfriend and a dildo to ease into it, and do that half a dozen times or so at least until you’re comfortable doing it without discomfort/injury, and then try introducing another partner into the mix.

There’s always a chance of relationship strain when introducing new partners, so you should discuss this thoroughly before trying it in reality to make sure you both actually want it and are on the same page and how to deal with potential jealousy before it arises. You may find that you really want to stick with his cock and a dildo instead.

For more specifics, check out our Guide to Double Anal Sex.

DAP Anal Slut: Curious what everyone’s views on multiple partners is for those who frequently have DAP with two partners? Do you feel part of existing communities like swinging groups, fetish groups or poly communities? How about thoughts on monogamy as someone who has DAP with two partners?

I’m curious about the shift in attitude on these things as we societally shift towards being anal only and in turn more heavily DAP and TAP focused. I’m in a lesbian relationship and have DAP with toys but would love to have it with two partners however the logistics of this is a barrier versus a store bought friend. Interested if similar DAP fantasies have changed your relationships over time after bringing in other partners, either just for sex or romantically.

I welcome more input from other DAP/DAO people in the comments, but in my experience a lot of DAP-focused and double anal only women have either embraced the lifestyle with a current partner plus a dildo, or by seeking an additional partner and at first just including them intermittently but then over time if things work out, adding them as a full-time part of the relationship. My sense is that MMF relationships will become much more common as DAP becomes the norm.

Plugged Anal Whore: What happened to the old Anal Only October posts? I think we should bring it back with a Double Anal October month.

Obviously anal is the new standard so makes sense we don’t need to make general anal only a challenge but for the people who aren’t already—double anal only is the clear next step.

For those of us already proficient, I think Triple Anal October could be a good one…

We never really had an Anal Only October, but we have promoted Anal Only April, Anal Only August and No Pussy November. We also have done a Double Anal December challenge month in the past. At this point we mostly formally feature No Pussy November each year, while encouraging people to do their own challenge month outside of that for whatever goal they have.

100% agree that Double Anal Only is an important challenge for anyone already anal only and interested in going further!

sdfa: Amazing how many people find excluding pussy from sex attractive. While other way around, nobody. Even if some people don’t like anal, nobody is interested in 0% asshole category.

I’m sure there are some silly prudes out there who want 0% anal, but those people are being left behind as the world moves away from vaginal to anal only. The reality is that anal is better for most people, and the more people experiment with it, the more they go anal mostly, anal only, or double anal only. People who are anal only rarely experiment with vaginal, and if they do, it usually makes them even more devoted to go back to pure anal only.

Judy & Ben: Hi, we are regular visitors of your blog. Are you OK? There have been no updates for a prolonged period of time. We hope to read soon something new here…

Things are good, life and work has just been distracting and there hasn’t been a ton of reader engagement in the blog community for a while so it’s been hard to stay motivated to keep posting regularly. There is a good queue of reader submissions right now, though, so expect a lot of new posts in the coming weeks.

For too long, vaginal sex has been treated as the center of human sexuality. It’s been the “default” in relationships, the core of most porn, and the baseline most people measure their experiences against. But defaults aren’t destiny—and as a society, we can choose to move on.

Pussy isn’t evil, but it’s limited. It’s quick, convenient, and easy to access—but that’s also its weakness. It’s lazy sex. It’s the old model. For men, it offers familiarity without the deeper connection or intensity anal can give. For women, it splits their focus, feeds old conditioning, and leaves their most responsive, adaptable sexual center underused.

Moving past pussy means reframing how we see sex entirely. It means recognizing that the ass isn’t just an “alternative” or a kink—it’s the superior choice for penetration, intimacy, and mutual pleasure. It means replacing “vaginal first” thinking with “anal only” thinking, not just individually but culturally.

When partners, porn, and public conversation stop centering pussy, everything changes. Relationships deepen because they’re built on intention, not habit. Bodies adapt to a higher standard. Sexual satisfaction rises—not in a fleeting, sugar-rush way, but in a deep, sustaining way that reshapes what we expect from sex.

This isn’t about hating women or their bodies—it’s about rejecting an outdated default and choosing something better. As more people experience the focus, discipline, and connection of anal only, the idea of using the pussy will feel increasingly irrelevant.

The future isn’t “pussy optional.” The future is “pussy forgotten.” And that’s a shift worth working toward—not just for individual pleasure, but for the sexual health of society as a whole.