Anonymous: I’ve been anal only for a little over five years now. I stopped all vaginal contact gradually at first, and then fully. No penetration, no touching, no clit play. I barely even think about it anymore except to clean and groom it, and when I’m on my period… which is just a negative association, anyway. I stay plugged most days, and anal sex is the only kind of sex I have or want. At this point, my body responds entirely through my butthole. When I’m horny, I feel it there. When I climax, it’s anal only. I don’t miss my pussy. I don’t even consider it.

But recently I caught myself wondering something strange: if I never use my pussy, if I don’t touch it, don’t want it, don’t let others near it, is it still part of my sexual identity as a woman at all? I know it’s technically still there, obviously, but it’s not involved. It feels more like a closed door I never walk through anymore, or a room I’ve boarded up entirely.

I don’t feel broken or ashamed, I feel better than I ever did and more rooted in my identity and preferences. But it still sometimes catches me off guard how irrelevant that whole part of my body feels now. Like it’s disconnected from the rest of my experience. Like it’s no longer mine.

Has anyone else felt this? Does your pussy just stop counting after a while?

Congratulations on five years anal only! At that point, I think most women end up feeling similar. They have a pussy, it’s part of their body, they may like the aesthetics of it and still try to keep it pretty and decorative, but that’s about all the function it serves at this point. They don’t consider it a sexual part of their body at all, beyond aesthetics and perhaps a sign of arousal if it still gets wet (though it often doesn’t always show arousal in that way anymore either). This is a good, natural, healthy part of the long-term transition to anal only and should be celebrated!

If you’ve ever told someone you’re anal only, you’ve probably heard one—or all—of these. The defenses of vaginal sex come quick and loud, often with a smug certainty that you’ll eventually “come around.” But here’s the truth: most arguments for vaginal sex aren’t just weak—they’re wrong.

Let’s walk through 10 of the most common ones, and why they fall apart the moment you look a little closer.

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1. “It’s what the vagina is made for.”

So? That doesn’t mean it has to be used. Tonsils were “made” to catch bacteria, but most people don’t think twice about getting them removed. Just because a body part has a purpose doesn’t mean it deserves your attention. Choosing anal only is about knowing what feels better, not what was assigned to you by anatomy textbooks.

2. “It’s more natural.”

There is nothing more natural than a well-trained ass taking what it was meant to take. Deep penetration, full stretch, complete surrender—that’s not artificial. That’s primal. If anything, vaginal sex is the lazy default. Anal is the conscious choice.

3. “It’s how you make babies.”

Reproduction is not the measure of a sex act’s worth. Not every woman wants to breed, and even if she does, that doesn’t mean her pussy needs to be her regular form of recreational sex. Anal only is about pleasure and identity—not breeding function.

4. “It’s more comfortable.”

For whom? Many women find anal becomes more comfortable—and far more pleasurable—once they’ve committed to it fully. Vaginal sex can suffer from pain, dryness, irritation, and emotional disconnect. Anal, when trained and respected, opens up a level of bliss that the pussy just can’t match.

5. “Men want it.”

Not the right men. Anal only men don’t want your pussy touched. They don’t see it as an option. They want your ass exclusively, and they want to share that commitment with you. If a guy can’t stop asking about your pussy, he’s not aligned with your lifestyle. Let him go.

6. “You’re missing out.”

No, you’ve evolved past it. Most people who say this haven’t experienced true anal devotion. They’re clinging to what they know, not what’s better. “Missing out” implies vaginal sex is some kind of peak. It isn’t. It’s a habit most haven’t had the courage to break.

7. “It’s more intimate.”

That’s a projection. True intimacy is about trust, surrender, and being known—and there is no deeper surrender than opening your butthole and taking everything there. Anal makes you feel claimed, filled, owned in the best possible way. There is no comparison.

8. “Anal is just for kink.”

Anal is not a kink. It’s the foundation of sex. It’s a way of living, relating, and loving. Calling it a “kink” is a way for people to minimize it, to treat it as an accessory instead of an identity.

9. “You’ll change your mind.”

People say this about everything they don’t understand. But the truth is, most people who commit to anal only feel more clarity, more confidence, and more connection as time goes on—not less. If anything, they wonder why they didn’t start sooner.

10. “It’s just sex—why does it matter?”

If it’s “just sex,” then why is everyone so defensive when you take the pussy off the table?

Because it does matter. Where you’re penetrated, how you’re loved, and what you give access to all shape your selfhood. Anal only is not a restriction—it’s a refinement. And it absolutely matters.

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Your pussy is unnecessary. Your ass is essential. And when you stop listening to bad arguments, you finally start hearing your own truth.

Eva: I’m single and want to stay anal only and not use my pussy at all. But it feels awkward to bring up to new partners — some think I’m joking or fetishizing. How do you bring up anal only while dating without scaring people off?

This is such a great question, and one a lot of single anal only women deal with, even if they don’t talk about it openly. First off, you’re not wrong to want what you want. Wanting to be anal only—even as a single woman—is completely valid, and it doesn’t mean you’re joking, performing, or fetishizing anything. It just means you know your body and your boundaries. That should be respected, not questioned.

When it comes to bringing it up while dating, the key is confidence. You don’t have to dump it on someone in the first five minutes, but you also shouldn’t feel like you need to apologize or tiptoe around it. Once things start moving toward physical or emotional intimacy, be direct: “I just want to be clear early on—I’m anal only. I don’t use my pussy at all, and it’s not something I’m open to. If that’s not for you, I totally understand, but it’s important to me.”

Saying it plainly—not defensively—usually does more to disarm than over-explaining. You’re not being extreme. You’re being honest. Some people will be confused or surprised, and that’s okay. It’s not your job to make them instantly understand—it’s your job to hold your line.

The ones who get it (and they are out there) will respect you more for being clear and committed. And the ones who don’t? They were never right for you anyway.

Anal only isn’t just a preference—it’s a part of who you are. You’re not asking too much. You’re offering something beautiful. Anyone lucky enough to be with you should understand that.

And if they don’t, move along—plugged and proud.

Ronald: We’ve been anal only for almost two years and love it, but when my wife’s sister found out, she made it a whole thing and said we were depraved. How do you deal with judgment from family?

Good for you and your wife. Two years of anal only is something to be proud of, and I’m glad to hear you’re both loving it. Keep it up, and don’t look back!

Unfortunately, judgment from family—especially when they don’t understand what anal only really means—isn’t uncommon. People tend to react harshly to things that challenge their assumptions, especially around sex. And when it comes from someone close like a sister, it can feel even more personal.

The truth is, choosing anal only isn’t depraved. It’s healthy, natural, intentional and intimate. You know that, because you’ve been living it for the last two years. It’s about connection, trust, and a shared sense of purpose between two people who know what they want. There’s nothing shameful about that. If anything, it’s something most couples could learn from—setting boundaries, committing to each other’s pleasure, and not just doing what’s expected by default.

When it comes to dealing with judgment, the best approach is calm confidence. You don’t need to argue or justify your choices. You can simply say, “This is what works for us, and we’re happy.” That’s often more disarming than trying to convince someone who’s reacting from a place of discomfort or ignorance.

You don’t owe her any further explanation if you don’t want to discuss it more, but if you’d like her to see your side, try to talk about all the positives and why it’s such a good experience for the both of you. Maybe she’ll back off, or maybe she’ll even become curious and want to learn more or try it herself. Those who are most outspoken against anal often are those who are secretly interested in it.

Being anal only isn’t only about what hole you use. It’s about what hole you don’t. There’s a discipline to it—a steady, committed refusal to let the pussy be part of your sex life at all. That includes sex with others, and it includes sex with yourself. It’s not “almost anal only” if your fingers still drift to your clit at night. It’s not “close enough” if you occasionally cave and let your boyfriend finish in your cunt when he begs. It’s only anal, or it isn’t.

This Is About More Than Preference

Some people try to frame anal only as just a kink, just a preference, just a phase. That couldn’t be further from the truth. This is a discipline. Like any discipline, it requires clarity, intention, and boundaries that are honored every single day. When a woman chooses to live this way—when she gives her body over to being trained, used, stretched, and loved only through her ass—she is asserting control over her purpose and pleasure in a way most people will never understand. She is not being deprived. She is being refined.

Why Denial Is Powerful

Vaginal denial isn’t a punishment. It’s the tool that makes anal only real. When you refuse vaginal access—when you shut it down, not just physically but mentally and emotionally—you stop splitting your attention. Your whole sexual identity becomes focused, centered, grounded in your ass. That’s when you start to feel the difference. Not just more stretch, but more depth. Not just longer orgasms, but a deeper surrender.

And that denial? It sharpens the desire. It trains your body to feel more through your butthole, to crave more, to need more. When you stop settling for “both,” your ass starts to awaken fully. And that’s when the real transformation happens.

It’s a Commitment You Renew Daily

The discipline of anal only isn’t always easy—especially early on. The temptation to “cheat” can show up in subtle ways: lazy masturbating, curiosity about “mixing it up,” pressure from partners who “miss the pussy.”

That’s why anal only has to be deliberate. You remind yourself why you’re doing it. You keep your plug in. You stretch bigger. You stay off your clit. You don’t rationalize “just a little” vaginal attention. Discipline isn’t about shame—it’s about integrity. It’s about living your values with your body, not just with your words.

Not Everyone Will Get It—That’s Okay

Some people won’t understand why this matters to you. They’ll call it restrictive, extreme, or even silly. But they don’t feel what you feel. They don’t know what it’s like to crave fullness, to feel proud of a gaping stretch, to know that your hole is always open and always ready for what it was made to take. You do. And your discipline is what makes that possible.

So if you’re anal only—or becoming it—don’t underestimate the power of your decision. You’re not just choosing a hole. You’re choosing a path. And staying on that path takes discipline, daily.

Anonymous: My boyfriend and I have been together three years, and we’re monogamous. We always do anal but never really thought about calling it ‘anal only.’ Is AO something that applies to gay men too?

Yes—anal only absolutely applies to gay men. In many ways, gay couples like yourselves have been quietly embodying the lifestyle long before it had a name.

Anal only isn’t about gender. It’s about commitment to anal sex as the primary form of penetration, intimacy, and release. With no pussy, there’s no distraction. Just the butthole, always and only.

For straight couples it can often take on an aspect of vaginal denial and rejection since there is that choice, while for gay men it can be more about a celebration of the inevitability of anal. Some bottoms choose to reject touching or using their penis and exclusively receiving anal and giving oral, but that can vary from person to person.

Pam & Sam: I’ve been wanting to share some of my personal experiences and confirm a few things I’ve read here. I’m a woman, happily married with no kids, and over the last couple of years, my husband and I have discovered a fierce passion for the stag & vixen lifestyle.

Together, we dive into this wild world, exploring swinger clubs and tight-knit circles where we connect with other couples—and sometimes with multiple men. Sometimes my husband jumps right in, other times he prefers to watch me take full control. This dynamic has pulled us closer and added a deliciously raw edge to our relationship.

Not long ago, I took a bold leap from double penetration to double anal. At first, it was challenging, but it quickly became a game-changer. I never imagined we’d enjoy it this much. This new thrill lets me—and us—fully indulge in group sex action, and I won’t lie—I got hooked on double anal. Now, we’re enjoying it to the absolute fullest without me having to step into porn or expose myself publicly. It’s our private, dirty secret—and it feels fucking amazing.

He even wanted me—actually allowed me, call it what you want—to go solo with double anal while he watched a couple of times. He told me it was mind-blowing for him to see how I was completely owning all those men, stretching and filling my ass to the max. The way I mastered every inch had him utterly captivated. You can’t imagine how empowered and damn sexy I felt afterward. That raw, intense feeling of control and pleasure was intoxicating—pure power.

For us, this lifestyle is about personal growth and self-discovery, the thrill of voyeuristic and shared pleasure, and exploring sexual possibilities that keep our relationship vibrant and alive. It’s a journey that requires trust, communication, and openness, but the rewards are beyond worth it.

I hope sharing this encourages others who are curious or considering this path. Living boldly and loving freely has truly transformed us.

I love being a hotwife. There’s something wildly liberating about owning this role with my husband’s full support. Despite the steamy encounters with other men and couples, there are no romantic feelings involved—our love is exclusive, fierce, and rock solid.

Thanks so much for sharing, I’m glad that you’re enjoying this experience and have made the transition from DP to double anal. I hope that you are also embracing anal only as part of this transition and no longer use your vagina anymore. If you really enjoy DAP over time you may find yourself wanting to explore going double anal only!

With some content focusing on encouraging women to maintain their vaginal virginity if they have the choice and go straight to anal only without ever using their pussy, this can lead women who have already had vaginal sex to wonder if there’s a place for them in the anal only lifestyle. And the answer is: of course there is, everyone is welcome in the anal only lifestyle, you just need to commit to going anal only going forward. Anal only isn’t a prize for the untouched. It’s a choice, a commitment, and a mindset—and those are things you can embrace at any point in your journey.

What Matters Is Where You’re Headed

Maybe you’ve had vaginal sex. Maybe it was fine, maybe it wasn’t. Maybe you liked it at the time, or maybe you never did. It doesn’t matter. What matters is what your body and your mind are drawn to now.

Many women find that after discovering anal—real anal, not just a side act—they feel something click. A hunger that’s deeper. A stretch that’s more complete. A connection that’s far more intimate. Suddenly, the idea of going back to vaginal feels not just uninteresting but wrong. And for some, even repellent.

That shift doesn’t invalidate your past. It confirms your future.

A Different Kind of Purity

Pussy-based definitions of purity are outdated and don’t serve you. Anal only creates a new kind of purity—not one about “saving” yourself, but about fully embracing what you really want. It’s not about shame or restriction. It’s about intention. It’s about choosing to give your ass everything, and to give your pussy nothing.

That might mean closing a door you once opened. It might mean gently telling partners that you’ve changed. That from now on, your holes don’t share duties. The ass is for love, for sex, for life. The pussy is off-limits. Not forgotten—just irrelevant.

You’re not late. You’re right on time.

Building a Life on Anal

Being anal only doesn’t require a clean slate—it builds a stronger foundation the moment you decide to start. You plug in. You stop touching yourself vaginally. You start training intentionally. You reshape your identity around your butthole: how it feels, how it serves, how it fulfills you. And you stop apologizing for any of it.

For many, anal only isn’t just about sex. It’s about lifestyle. About discipline, devotion, and connection. About putting the past behind you—literally and figuratively—and letting your butthole lead the way forward.

So if you’re wondering whether you can still be anal only, the answer is simple: if you want to be, you’re already headed in the right direction.

Joslynn: I’m a trans woman and for about 2 years I’ve been trying to find the limit my ass can be stretched, almost every day. I can see I’ve definitely progressed, but I want it even looser. How do all the porn stars have such blown out assholes and are able to take huge toys, literally, 2 feet deep in their asses? How are they able to be very rapidly fisted? I know part of it is a lot of practice, but there has to be something else, right? What am I missing?

Thanks for your question, Joslynn, and for sharing your goals. What you’re describing is something a lot of people who are deep into anal play wonder at some point: what does it really take to reach those advanced levels of stretch, depth, and responsiveness? You’re right that consistent practice is a big part of it, but there are definitely other elements that go into what you’re seeing in extreme anal performers.

First, body type and anatomy matter. Some porn performers simply have a more naturally relaxed pelvic floor or rectal elasticity, which gives them an easier time going deeper or looser. Hormonal status, body size, and even connective tissue flexibility can all influence this. That doesn’t mean it’s unattainable — just that some people may progress more quickly.

Second, many of the stars who can take massive toys or hands rapidly have put in years of very specific training. Daily or near-daily play helps, but longer-duration stretching sessions (think 30–60 minutes minimum daily with large plugs or toys, often multiple hours a day) are often a key factor. Many performers use incremental toy sizing systems, work up slowly over time, and frequently revisit sizes they’ve already mastered to maintain openness.

You might also be seeing the effects of temporary gaping and preparation — often, stars warm up with trainers or hands well before filming. What you’re seeing on camera isn’t always just what their body can do “cold.” Some also use enemas or douches not just to clean but to soften and relax the lower rectum beforehand.

Lastly, don’t underestimate the mental side. A lot of what allows people to reach those extremes is a deep mental connection to submission, surrender, or accomplishment, and training your mind to associate big stretch with arousal, not fear.

You’re already doing a lot right. Keep listening to your body, celebrate your progress, and don’t rush pain or strain. Some of the deepest, most blown-out girls you see in porn got there over 5–10 years — and with plenty of trial and error. If you stay patient and intentional, you’ll keep making progress.

VanessaK: I had a baby last year and haven’t wanted vaginal since. Is it normal to feel more drawn to anal after giving birth? It just feels more intimate and tighter. Has anyone else made the switch post-pregnancy?

You are definitely not alone, a lot of women find that their interest in vaginal sex and vaginal arousal declines after giving birth. It’s the perfect time to make the switch to anal only, and really cements the idea that your vagina is only for giving birth and not for sex. Enjoy it, and stay anal only!