Anonymous: I’m a young guy who’s always been exclusively into anal sex: I discovered sex through porn, and vaginal and clitoral action became major turn-offs very quickly for me. I never did vaginal nor touched a clit, and I want it to stay that way.

So far, I met all my partners through online dating sites, making extremely clear I’m into strict anal only (I can’t even stand it if a woman touches her clit during sex). I’m athletic, good looking and well endowed, and I’m open to different types of women provided they’re anal only, so I never had trouble getting laid so far.

At college, there’s this younger girl who’s very much into me, and who made very clear she’d like me to take her virginity and “teach her” how to fuck. She’s smart, funny, very hot, but she doesn’t know I’m anal only. We sort of kissed and messed around (no sex), and she seems to be quite submissive when hot.

On one hand, I really want to fuck her and “train” her, educate her into strict anal sex, and date her in the long term. I’m pretty sure she won’t freak out when I tell her I’m anal only (I touched her there through her clothes while she fondled my cock through my jeans, and she seemed to like it, she didn’t mind her crotch being left untouched). Her being a complete virgin makes me REALLY hot.

On the other hand, I never introduced a girl to anal sex, I always dated experienced women who knew what they wanted, so I’m uncertain what to do (I’m thinking about foreplay and licking and fingering her asshole gently for a start). And I sort of feel responsible for her, so even though the idea to get her into strict anal sex is incredibly hot to me, I’m wondering if her first sexual experience shouldn’t be more “standard”.

Thank you for your blog, which I knew from tumblr, and thanks in advance for your reply.

I encourage introducing her to it, provided she’s into the idea and willing to try. Talk with her about it, and be open about your needs and desires, so she knows up front what you expect from a partner and is fully informed going into it.

If she is willing, be sure to take it slow with her and really ease her into it while making sure to focus on her enjoyment and pleasure. Get her to love and crave it, and your pleasure will join hers soon enough.

As for a concern about her being introduced to anal first vs. vaginal, there are plenty of women who start with anal and stick with it for a long time before even trying vaginal, and there’s been a growing trend among younger women to go straight to anal only for a variety of reasons, which I encourage and think is a good thing, so I see no issue with starting her right out with anal only if she’s interested in trying it.

But, communicate and make it something that you explore together as partners, if you do go down that route. Good luck!

Much of the content on this blog is oriented to women, or those who receive anal sex. But just as important are those who are giving anal sex to their partners—if they aren’t interested in being anal only or feel they still need vaginal sex, it’s hard to make an anal only lifestyle work very well!

In fact, when asked why they haven’t gone anal only women yet, women interested in the lifestyle often answer that if it were up to them, they would, but that their partners still want to have vaginal sex some of the time. Seems surprising, right? The conventional wisdom is that men all want anal sex and that it’s women who don’t, but the reality often is that many women are more open to anal and even to going anal only, but their male partners are more sexually conservative or just think that they’ll miss something or be limited by excluding vaginal as an option.

The reality is that while everyone is different, most people find that after going anal only for a while, they don’t actually miss pussy much. Anal offers all the pleasure and more, combined with increased aesthetic appeal, stronger intimacy, plenty of opportunities for fun variety, and unique benefits like natural birth control. Unlike vaginal, anal is something that gets more fun the more you do it and done right, never gets boring. Anal only couples often talk about how before they went anal only, sex had gotten boring, but now even decades after going anal only, it still has a strong spark that excites them.

Other common concerns include hygiene and the need for preparation before sex. With some simple dietary adjustments and a basic cleaning routine, the former is fairly well mitigated, and preparation can be kept fairly minimal as well with a frequent anal play and sex routine as well as the use of butt plugs. Most such complaints result from having too little anal sex, not from having it more often.

Give it a try for yourself and find out: go anal only for a month or two and commit fully to the experience while you’re in it: you’ll see before long that giving up vaginal sex and going anal only is well worth the initial effort.

Max & Nata: So, my wife and I are both 32, we’ve been married for 4 years, and about a year ago we have arrived to an unspoken arrangement that I only fist her pussy and I only fuck her ass (don’t know if this counts as anal only lol, but we’re both happy with that). She loves being fisted and says it’s the best thing ever – she also loves anal, and we do about 50/50 between these two (we also do oral, spanking etc., but we almost always finish with either anal or fisting, or both).

I’ve lately been trying to talk to her about anal fisting, as it’s something that is interesting to try – but she only said “maybe later” and was pretty elusive about it in general. I think it’s obvious that she’s a bit scared. She also says she doesn’t love fingers up her ass as much as she loves my dick and toys in there, because fingers don’t go as deep as she wants. She has some toys to use up her ass, and she uses buttplugs when I fist her — we recently bought another one that’s bigger than my penis in width.

The question is – should I be persistent with trying anal fisting, or maybe leave it as it is? Obviously I don’t want to do anything that she doesn’t want, but maybe there are some arguments I’m missing that can help convince her to try? Or maybe it’s I who’s missing something and should be happy with what I have?

Also, other thing with that is that she’s worried about is that if we do a lot of anal fisting, her ass can become stretched out and not as tight as it is now (her pussy being loose was one of the reasons we switched to anal only). To be completely honest, this concerns me a bit as well.

So, if you have any tips or comments, or experience to share about anal fisting, we’d be happy and grateful to hear it (she knows about this post and she will read the answer too). Maybe there’s a way we can work towards it without using fingers too much?

Thanks a lot for your blog and for the answer. Sorry if my English is a bit weird, not my primary language.

First of all, “anal only” means a variety of different things for a lot of different people, but the fundamental element is that you don’t have vaginal intercourse and have fully replaced it with anal. There are those who still use toys or other forms of vaginal penetration but who identify as anal only, so I think if being anal only is something that appeals to you, you can consider your arrangement to fit within that definition. I think there can be some additional benefits to going fully anal only for some people, and generally encourage at least trying that too, but everyone is different and different things work for different people.

As for wanting to try anal fisting, it sounds like she’s expressed some of her concerns already. Are those her only hesitations, or does she have others as well?

Not liking fingering as much as sex is not uncommon, but fisting is different from fingering and provides much more of a stretch and can go deeper as well, so I would encourage her to think of them as different things and not to write off anal fisting just because she doesn’t like fingers on their own as much. It’s an entirely different experience.

Fear of stretching and becoming loose is a common concern that isn’t that rooted in reality. Injury can cause muscles to become weaker, but “stretching” anal muscles is actually exercising them and frequent use can help them become stronger. What people equate with being loose is actually an increased elasticity that allows them to expand larger, but they still stay tight and closed when not in use. There may be short term looseness after for a few hours, but things tend to return to normal quickly. And even the increased elasticity is not something that happens overnight, so it’s something that you can start to explore and see how it progresses for the both of you. Chances are you’ll both find that it does not negatively affect your enjoyment of sex at all. Exercises like kegels can also help to further strengthen and “tighten” anal muscles.

But if she’s also just afraid of trying it, why not sit down and talk about it together and discuss her fears and concerns and whether she’s interested despite being afraid and what you can do to help relieve some of those fears. Remind her of how rewarding vaginal fisting ended up being for her and with the pleasure and intensity of anal how great it could end up being as well.

Good luck to the both of you!

It’s hard to believe that we’re already halfway through the month!

If you haven’t had a chance to start participating in No Pussy November yet, it’s not too late to begin. Stop having vaginal sex or masturbating with vaginal penetration now and shift to just anal for the rest of the month (and beyond, if you find that you enjoy it). The benefits of going anal only usually show themselves after about a month, once you get past the initial challenges, so stick with it! If you’re already anal only but would like to take part in No Pussy November anyway, you can work towards a new goal, like anal only orgasms without clit stimulation, long term butt plug wear, double anal, etc. If you already regularly enjoy double anal, try doing daily double anal for the month, or going double anal only as some women are doing.

If you have been taking part in No Pussy November, send us a message and let us know how things have been going! Whether you just want to update us and share your adventures and excitement, or if you need advice or encouragement to keep going, all messages and questions are welcome!

Stick with it! Together we can all go anal only!

Jade: Hi, i never had a man in my life but i want to remain vaginally virgin. I bought a dildo 2 weeks ago to train me anally.

I kinda like it but i’m nowhere near to take true pleasure. Can you give me some advices?

That’s an excellent goal, I highly recommend staying a vaginal virgin and going anal only.

First of all, be patient. If you’ve just started exploring anal two weeks ago, you’re just getting started. Stick with it, and keep practicing and training regularly—every day, if you can. The more you make it your normal routine, the more quickly it will start to become very pleasurable and something you not only enjoy, but start to crave.

How do you ordinarily masturbate and orgasm? Does it involve vaginal penetration, or just clit stimulation? Especially while you’re getting started with anal, including clit stimulation if that’s what you already enjoy is not a bad thing—do it as often as possible, in fact, and try to give yourself as many orgasms as you can while masturbating anally. This helps to build up the association of anal and pleasure and unlocks the pleasures of anal. If, after you start to really enjoy anal on its own, you want to shift away from clit stimulation as well and only focus on anal pleasure, you can do that, but when getting started, combining anal with things you already like can be a good approach.

If your goal from the start is achieving an anal only orgasm, you can look at some of the strategies in our Guide to Anal Orgasms. Also be sure to read through the rest of the Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle for lots of other useful information.

Good luck, and feel free to follow up with more questions!

By popular, though intermittent, request, there is now a new page on the blog to serve as a repository of anal only erotic fiction and stories. It’s only just beginning, and more will be added as it is found, so if you have any anal only stories that you love and don’t see in this list, please feel free to share them and they’ll be added to the page. Otherwise, check it out and enjoy!

Visit the Anal Only Stories, Erotica & Fiction page

I had always used lube, and generously, until an evening at a club. I was dancing with a guy and went to the toilet. He burst in on me and we started making out in the stall. He soon had his dick out and spun me around, yanked my skirt down. I started babbling about birth control and he said not to worry, wiped spit on his cock, slid it up and down my arse crack then nudged against my anus. I was surprised at how easily it entered me. The fucking was pretty vigorous and I slumped down until I was leaning prone over the toilet seat while he hammered away. Afterwards I expected to be sore, especially as there was no lube, but there were no bad effects. After that I used less and less lube until pretty soon I had anal with just spit… and that’s the way it’s been ever since.

notnice66, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Continue reading on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum

this challenge seems to easy for me and my girl. how about anal-only-2020? haha!

since we discovered this lifestyle this august, we tried it, fell in love with it and cant stop it. my girl learned to orgams without any clit stimulation and we decided to never ever have vaginal sex again – maybe when we want to have kids. i still wonder how fast a woman could give up her pussy. it only took a month for her. crazy girl! im blessed.

prettystrong, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Read more and respond at the Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Anonymous: So I’m a vaginal virgin and I adopted my daughter to remain a vaginal virgin. My teen daughter snuck into my room and got on my laptop. I had your blog up and she asked me what anal only is and what clit denial is and why would someone like it. I told her I would talk to her later about it. so I’m kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place cuz I don’t know if I should explain it, I don’t know if I should encourage, her and I don’t know if I should tell her I do it and why. So maybe you can help me with what I should do

If she is an appropriate age to start talking about sex as a parent, then I think it’s perfectly fine to also talk about anal sex and the anal only lifestyle in an educational way. Sit down with her and have a normal, healthy conversation about it. If she wants to learn more, she’ll ask.

One of the best things that you can do to develop a firm foundation for yourself in the anal only lifestyle, or just to better enjoy anal, is to adopt a daily anal routine. If you’ve had any struggles with discomfort or pain from anal, one of the biggest causes can be going for days or weeks between anal play or sex.

By making the commitment to do daily anal in some form, not only are you making yourself more anal-centric as a result, you also start to immediately benefit from the increased anal activity. Your anal muscles remain more relaxed from frequent use, which makes anal easier as a result, and in turn lets you do it even more frequently. It’s a positive feedback loop that just makes anal consistently better and better.

More anal, not less anal, is what makes anal better and easier. Just like anything else, practice makes perfect.