Anonymous: My GF and I have been doing anal only for a few months now and while I’m kinda ashamed to admit I think my favourite part is knowing that I get more pleasure out of it than her. She definitely enjoys it but I know she can’t cum without her clit and I also noticed that she really urges me on to cum now like she wants it to be over faster. This turns me on so much that I can’t even think about going back to vaginal sex again but more than that I’ve been kind of obsessed with the idea of her giving up her pussy completely which for her would mean giving up orgasms too. I’m scared that if I ask her about this she will think I’m a completely selfish jerk. Do you think its wrong for me to be into this and do you think I should try asking for it or just be content with what I have?

It’s not wrong to want that, but it depends what she wants too. Some women get off on the same sort of thing, and that’s fine. Whether she’ll be open to it depends on her motivation. Tell her that you being anal only really turns you on and you love it and would love for her to stop using her clit too and just get her pleasure from anal, and ask what she thinks about that. If she’s not into it, then keep things as they are. But, if she is, then explore that together.

Anonymous: So, I’ve followed this site for a while. I’m a female. I get super turned on at the thought of vaginal abandonment and orgasm denial. However, the vaginal abandonment term is not something I hear or read about often. Wondering why that is? I’ll be discussing this with my partner and I am unsure of how he will feel about it. He comes from a fairly conservative culture. So it’s something I’ll need to bring up lightly initially. At any rate I’ve tried finding good resources such as other blogs or articles and even testimonials about specific vaginal abandonment and why it’s done. Not sure if I’m making sense. Perhaps it’s just a terminology issue and I’m missing the point. I dunno.

“Vaginal abandonment” is used interchangeably with “anal only”, and the latter is catchier and easier to use so is more common. But they generally mean the same thing. The end result is avoiding use of your vagina and having anal sex in its place.

There are lots of resources on the topic here, but outside of this community it’s less commonly discussed. If you have any other specific questions or advice wanted, feel free to ask! And let us know how it goes when you discuss it with your partner—I hope for your sake that he agrees to go anal only with you!

At first it was hard because I also gave up my orgasms to my husband. As time went on I forgot about the orgasms. They stopped being what would drive me during sex. Now I’m able to focus just on him and making him feel as good as possible. My fulfillment comes from his pleasure. He has me stretch my cunt wide everyday. My cunt is for pain not pleasure. My throat and my ass are for his pleasure not mine.

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40 F here, new to the AO Lifestyle. I haven’t actually begun my journey as AO yet. It’s something I discovered recently while evolving in my submissive role. I just got out of a relationship with someone who loves my pussy more than anal so, it was impossible to het him to even go AO with me temporarily. 

But it was because of something he did that got me into this. Basically, he has a thing against period sex, but we were still so horny when I had my period that he decided to go anal on me one morning. And from then on that’s what we did instead of PIV see during that time. What I noticed was the sexual rush I’d get from being teased. From almost getting what I really wanted – my pussy taken and the resulting big O – and getting something else instead. I cannot come from anal. I can get to a point where it almost feels like I’m climaxing but then the feeling drops. What happens is that I’m left feeling super horny because my orgasm needs weren’t fulfilled and I stay aroused for days on end. It’s crazy. I love it.

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Anonymous: Years ago, to torture myself i used to have ruined orgasms, everyone has their opinion but i think that for you to be anal only you can’t cum at all. So i would play with my clit and when i was almost there, i would stop. I enjoyed doing that cause it was a HUGE torture. Do you recommend ruining orgasms or not touching the pussy at all?

It really comes down to personal preference and what works best for you. For many, the goal of clit denial with anal only is avoiding the distraction of an easier form of orgasm so they can learn to have anal orgasms instead, and so it makes sense to end clit stimulation as a result.

However, for others who prefer anal penetration but need clit stimulation or clit orgasms to stay focused on and committed to the anal only lifestyle, edging, ruined orgasms, or clit orgasms in combination with anal can work well for them.

If your goal is to avoid anything vaginal or clitoral, then I suggest not touching it at all and focusing purely on anal stimulation and penetration.

While many women regularly indulge in clit stimulation and clit orgasms as part of their sex life, and in fact a majority of women who have vaginal sex rely on their clit in order to orgasm since 1/3 or less of women are capable of orgasming from vaginal sex, there are many disadvantages and even dangers of using your clit, especially when compared to anal orgasms.

Clit Orgasms Suppress Arousal

While this doesn’t affect everyone in the same way, many women experience a crash after clit orgasms, where their arousal levels drop and they generally lose interest in continuing any sexual activities, as well as their sex organs often becoming very sensitive to the touch.

This is often combined with a mood crash as well, with some even reporting that it can contribute to depression for them. Again, everyone has different effects, but these effects can be so common that many women just think of them as a normal part of sex and orgasm, when that doesn’t have to be the case.

This is also the reason that edging and orgasm denial appeal so much to many women, because it boosts and maintains arousal levels without the orgasm itself causing that happier and more sexual state to be suppressed. But, orgasm denial isn’t the only option!

Clit Addiction Makes Anal Orgasms More Difficult

A common goal for anal only women is to achieve anal orgasms, and studies show that far more women are able to have anal orgasms than from vaginal.

But, if you have a strongly established habit and addiction to clit stimulation, where you have a very hard time resisting it and rely strongly on it for all orgasms, it can be more difficult to adjust to orgasms from other sources, including anal orgasms. Your body can become habituated to clit stimulation as the only way it knows how to orgasm, especially if clit orgasms come easily to you, and other stimulation can take a backseat to it.

By foregoing clit stimulation for a while, and focusing on anal penetration only, you can start to unlock those other paths to orgasm, and with practice anal orgasm can start to come very easily!

Of course, for some women, they can naturally orgasm very easily from anal to begin with with and it’s less of a challenge to switch to anal only orgasms.

Clit Stimulation Distracts From Natural Anal Centrism

Part of the advantage of going anal only is that by eliminating vaginal penetration, you’re focusing all your stimulation on anal and really learning to maximize its pleasure, which is already more intense and gives a stronger feeling of fullness, and becomes better without the distraction of vaginal penetration. The longer you go anal only, the better sex keeps getting, as commonly reported by many anal only couples when they check in on the forum and give updates on their years of anal only.

The same is true for clit stimulation, and while you can certainly be anal only without eliminating clit stimulation entirely, it’s a much deeper pleasure and satisfaction to stop clit play as well, and really maximizes the commitment to pure anal pleasure without feeling like your pussy and clit are still holding you back. At first, it can be a difficult urge to resist, but in time, transitioning all your stimulation and pleasure to anal just feels natural, and you’ll stop reaching for your clit.

Anal Orgasms Have None of These Negatives

Clit denial is not the same thing as orgasm denial, and as mentioned above, it can make anal orgasms easier to regularly experience. And the strong advantage of this is that anal orgasms don’t have those same downsides for most women.

• Anal orgasms feel more full body rather than centered in one area specifically
• Anal orgasms usually don’t cause an arousal crash at the same level as clit orgasms, and in some women can actually boost arousal, which in either case makes it possible to continue having sex and wanting to keep going as much as possible and getting multiple orgasms in a session
• Anal orgasms usually don’t cause mood crashes and typically leave one feeling higher and happier afterwards
• Anal orgasms usually don’t cause increased super-sensitivity to where genital or anal contact and continuing to have sex becomes uncomfortable

As with anything, there are some women for whom the above may not be true, but most women are able to enjoy anal orgasms with minimal side effects compared to clit orgasms, and the only thing holding someone back from continuing to have orgasm after orgasm is their partner’s stamina and their physical energy.

So, if you’re considering trying clit denial, go for it. The advantages are well worth the initial challenges.

This message was originally posted to the Anal Only Bdsmlr blog, and is being cross-posted here.

Anonymous: Good Day Sir I really enjoy your blog. It is a great inspiration to me. I am a denial submissive. My Masters cunt is only allowed to cum when he wishes and that is not very often. I am perfectly happy with that. My Master now has expressed the desire to only have anal sex. We already have anal sex and I enjoy it very much. I would really like to accept his wish for me, I just want to do it safely. Do you have any tipps? How can I make the transition to an anal only slut without risking my health and not disappoint my Master? Humbly honey

Thank you, I’m glad that you enjoy my blog and that it inspires you. Congratulations on the decision to go anal only, it will be wonderful for the two of you and is well worth doing. It’s absolutely worth doing some research first in order to make the transition safely and ensure that it’s sustainable long-term so that you don’t need to stop later. Essentially, so long as you warm up properly beforehand and/or stay trained and warmed up by masturbating anally and wearing a butt plug regularly, and listen to your body and don’t do anything that actively hurts or stop if there’s any bleeding, rest a day or two, and try again. Those are usually only an issue when you’re first getting started. From there, establish a routine and try to stick with it as well as you’re able. The main thing that makes anal difficult is not doing it often enough, because your anal muscles tighten back up if they aren’t used, and need to be warmed up again. Ultimately getting to where you do it every day or every other day is ideal. If you need to transition more gradually, I’d start by doing anal at least one day a week (or more often if you already do it more often) and make that be your anal only day, and then every few weeks, adding an additional day per week that’s anal only and reducing a vaginal day, until after a few months you’ve transitioned to full time anal and no vaginal. For more information on this process in more detail, read the Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle.

I’ve let my husband control all our sexual activities and have been happily free use for him since we married almost 10 years ago. I love how beautiful it makes me feel when he touches every part of me, even the places I used to think of as dirty. He introduced me to anal sex early on, and it has gradually become more frequent, but he used to usually bring me to orgasm using my clit afterwards, partly as a reward and partly as a way to help me tighten my asshole back up and keep some of his cum inside me without needing a plug.

At the beginning of last month he told me I was ready to stop relying on my clit and that he would be taking a break from my pussy. We haven’t had anything but anal since then, which has never given me an orgasm. He reminds me how strong I am and he tells me how much he loves to see me learning to relax and not being lazy to rely on orgasms to find my muscles. He has been sliding a finger up my ass and having me tighten up after sex so that I can keep most of his cum inside me. He told me today that he intends to remain anal only and it feels a bit daunting but I’ve always trusted his guidance and he’s never made me anything but ecstatic to have such a loving and nurturing husband who pushes my sexual boundaries.

For the most part I love it and I’m not entirely sure why. I’ve always loved making him happy and he seems very proud of me for going so long without orgasm. He has always helped me learn to love the ways he wants to touch me and maybe I will learn this way too. It still feels more uncomfortable than it is pleasurable, but I’m getting used to it and figuring out how to relax faster every time. The other night when I was on my period he didn’t even have to remove my tampon, he told me how nice it was to not have to make a mess and he was right. I’m hoping I learn to really enjoy it even if I don’t learn how to orgasm from it.

I had no idea there was an entire community dedicated to people who felt this way and I’m excited to have so much to read up on and learn about. Thank you for sharing your stories, I’ve begun reading some of the success stories and they make me feel all warm and fuzzy. If anyone happens to be in a similar situation and cares to share any words of support or encouragement, tips and tricks, or maybe even pitfalls to avoid, it would be appreciated. I’m looking forward to being a regular poster when I have updates.

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Anonymous: My girlfriend and I got together 6 years ago. She didn’t have much sexual experience when we met, but during those years, little by little, I got her into anal, then anal only, then strict clitoral denial, then casual ass to mouth, then finally orgasm denial (she still has anal orgasms occasionally, but they happen when they happen, I never get out of my way to cause them, and I don’t behave differently when they do).

To me, she’s now the perfect girlfriend, and I actually proposed her! We’re getting married in about three months.

So far, we always had goals in our relationship, and for our marriage, we’d like to try new goals… but I’m perfectly happy, so I’m not sure what I could add, haha! We both love all your blogs, and we wondered if you could suggest something, a new goal to start our marriage. That’d please us very much.

We’re monogamous, not into dirty play or water sports. You probably guessed that my girlfriend is submissive – she wasn’t at first, but she got more and more submissive (both in and out of bed) and slutty as soon as we started clitoral denial. It boomed even more after orgasm denial.

What would you suggest? Thanks, and keep up the good work!

It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship and a wonderful fiancée, thank you for sharing your experiences and your progress together.

Committing to an anal only marriage and a life of pure anal together seems a pretty great goal in and of itself, and having a ceremony of your own after the main wedding where you pledge anal only to each other is something that some anal only couples like to do.

Beyond that, it sounds like you’re at a pretty great place already and should enjoy your ideal relationship and sex life. If there isn’t anything that stands out as something that you’d really like to do, there’s nothing wrong with just enjoying what you have together.

If you wanted to push her anal limits, you could explore larger toys or double anal with you and a toy. If she doesn’t wear a plug regularly, you could introduce long term plug wear into your routine. You could talk with friends and couples you know about the anal only lifestyle and work together to try and encourage other people to experiment with it and discover its benefits as well. You could symbolize your commitment to the anal only lifestyle with a set of chastity piercings.

If you do settle on something, or have any other questions, don’t hesitate to share or ask.

My wife and I have been married for eight years, as of September. We had anal intercourse throughout our relationship, but we only began to reliably have anal sex starting around our fifth year. Since then, each year she has become more and more interested in an anal only lifestyle. I had brought it up to her during intercourse, and she said that she enjoyed the thought of it.

We have started maintaining an anal only lifestyle since two months ago. Leading up to this wonderful change in our relationship, we made the decision that should would not be allowed to orgasm outside of anal sex. It wasn’t long before my wife abandoned her cunt in favor of anal sex, though she chooses to abstain from orgasms about half of the time, as she wants to ensure that she is focused on anal pleasure.

She has told me that she wants to maintain two different styles of anal only sex in our marriage. First, she wants to only orgasm when my cock is in her ass, and she wants to work toward being clit-free. Second, she wants to nourish an orgasm-free outlook regarding anal sex, so she often has me assfuck her without allowing her to touch her clit. Each time that we have clit-free anal sex, she becomes more and more aroused by it. We have not successfully had an anal only orgasm, but as she abstains from clitoral orgasms, I can tell that we are getting closer.

We have decided that she will use her glass plug, which is about the circumference of my cock, every other day. It has gotten to the point when she wears it without me bringing up the topic. She wears it about two hours every other day, and she continues to wear it for longer periods of time. This makes anal sex much easier, as the warm up period it the more serious hurdle regarding anal sex. She has a semi-permanent gape, and she proudly shows it to me in the evenings.

Last week, she surprised me by asking me if we could renew our wedding vows on our 10th anniversary to be anal only. This would be a private event with her girlfriends. I am looking forward to making our new wedding vows. We are taking active steps for her to be clit-free, and I feel that her first anal only orgasm will lead directly to total freedom from her cunt and clit. She has expressed interest in being an anal only doll, as she wants her pleasure to be derived from my own pleasure and whatever experiences she has with her ass during intercourse.

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