40 F here, new to the AO Lifestyle. I haven’t actually begun my journey as AO yet. It’s something I discovered recently while evolving in my submissive role. I just got out of a relationship with someone who loves my pussy more than anal so, it was impossible to het him to even go AO with me temporarily.
But it was because of something he did that got me into this. Basically, he has a thing against period sex, but we were still so horny when I had my period that he decided to go anal on me one morning. And from then on that’s what we did instead of PIV see during that time. What I noticed was the sexual rush I’d get from being teased. From almost getting what I really wanted – my pussy taken and the resulting big O – and getting something else instead. I cannot come from anal. I can get to a point where it almost feels like I’m climaxing but then the feeling drops. What happens is that I’m left feeling super horny because my orgasm needs weren’t fulfilled and I stay aroused for days on end. It’s crazy. I love it.
Category: Orgasm Denial
While typically not the focus of this blog, some people who are interested in the anal only lifestyle are also interested in orgasm denial and explore it alongside anal only, and this category contains posts relating to total orgasm denial.
Anonymous: Years ago, to torture myself i used to have ruined orgasms, everyone has their opinion but i think that for you to be anal only you can’t cum at all. So i would play with my clit and when i was almost there, i would stop. I enjoyed doing that cause it was a HUGE torture. Do you recommend ruining orgasms or not touching the pussy at all?
It really comes down to personal preference and what works best for you. For many, the goal of clit denial with anal only is avoiding the distraction of an easier form of orgasm so they can learn to have anal orgasms instead, and so it makes sense to end clit stimulation as a result.
However, for others who prefer anal penetration but need clit stimulation or clit orgasms to stay focused on and committed to the anal only lifestyle, edging, ruined orgasms, or clit orgasms in combination with anal can work well for them.
If your goal is to avoid anything vaginal or clitoral, then I suggest not touching it at all and focusing purely on anal stimulation and penetration.
While many women regularly indulge in clit stimulation and clit orgasms as part of their sex life, and in fact a majority of women who have vaginal sex rely on their clit in order to orgasm since 1/3 or less of women are capable of orgasming from vaginal sex, there are many disadvantages and even dangers of using your clit, especially when compared to anal orgasms.
Clit Orgasms Suppress Arousal
While this doesn’t affect everyone in the same way, many women experience a crash after clit orgasms, where their arousal levels drop and they generally lose interest in continuing any sexual activities, as well as their sex organs often becoming very sensitive to the touch.
This is often combined with a mood crash as well, with some even reporting that it can contribute to depression for them. Again, everyone has different effects, but these effects can be so common that many women just think of them as a normal part of sex and orgasm, when that doesn’t have to be the case.
This is also the reason that edging and orgasm denial appeal so much to many women, because it boosts and maintains arousal levels without the orgasm itself causing that happier and more sexual state to be suppressed. But, orgasm denial isn’t the only option!
Clit Addiction Makes Anal Orgasms More Difficult
A common goal for anal only women is to achieve anal orgasms, and studies show that far more women are able to have anal orgasms than from vaginal.
But, if you have a strongly established habit and addiction to clit stimulation, where you have a very hard time resisting it and rely strongly on it for all orgasms, it can be more difficult to adjust to orgasms from other sources, including anal orgasms. Your body can become habituated to clit stimulation as the only way it knows how to orgasm, especially if clit orgasms come easily to you, and other stimulation can take a backseat to it.
By foregoing clit stimulation for a while, and focusing on anal penetration only, you can start to unlock those other paths to orgasm, and with practice anal orgasm can start to come very easily!
Of course, for some women, they can naturally orgasm very easily from anal to begin with with and it’s less of a challenge to switch to anal only orgasms.
Clit Stimulation Distracts From Natural Anal Centrism
Part of the advantage of going anal only is that by eliminating vaginal penetration, you’re focusing all your stimulation on anal and really learning to maximize its pleasure, which is already more intense and gives a stronger feeling of fullness, and becomes better without the distraction of vaginal penetration. The longer you go anal only, the better sex keeps getting, as commonly reported by many anal only couples when they check in on the forum and give updates on their years of anal only.
The same is true for clit stimulation, and while you can certainly be anal only without eliminating clit stimulation entirely, it’s a much deeper pleasure and satisfaction to stop clit play as well, and really maximizes the commitment to pure anal pleasure without feeling like your pussy and clit are still holding you back. At first, it can be a difficult urge to resist, but in time, transitioning all your stimulation and pleasure to anal just feels natural, and you’ll stop reaching for your clit.
Anal Orgasms Have None of These Negatives
Clit denial is not the same thing as orgasm denial, and as mentioned above, it can make anal orgasms easier to regularly experience. And the strong advantage of this is that anal orgasms don’t have those same downsides for most women.
- Anal orgasms feel more full body rather than centered in one area specifically
- Anal orgasms usually don’t cause an arousal crash at the same level as clit orgasms, and in some women can actually boost arousal, which in either case makes it possible to continue having sex and wanting to keep going as much as possible and getting multiple orgasms in a session
- Anal orgasms usually don’t cause mood crashes and typically leave one feeling higher and happier afterwards
- Anal orgasms usually don’t cause increased super-sensitivity to where genital or anal contact and continuing to have sex becomes uncomfortable
As with anything, there are some women for whom the above may not be true, but most women are able to enjoy anal orgasms with minimal side effects compared to clit orgasms, and the only thing holding someone back from continuing to have orgasm after orgasm is their partner’s stamina and their physical energy.
So, if you’re considering trying clit denial, go for it. The advantages are well worth the initial challenges.
This message was originally posted to the Anal Only Bdsmlr blog, and is being cross-posted here.
Anonymous: Good Day Sir I really enjoy your blog. It is a great inspiration to me. I am a denial submissive. My Masters cunt is only allowed to cum when he wishes and that is not very often. I am perfectly happy with that. My Master now has expressed the desire to only have anal sex. We already have anal sex and I enjoy it very much. I would really like to accept his wish for me, I just want to do it safely. Do you have any tipps? How can I make the transition to an anal only slut without risking my health and not disappoint my Master? Humbly honey
Thank you, I’m glad that you enjoy my blog and that it inspires you. Congratulations on the decision to go anal only, it will be wonderful for the two of you and is well worth doing. It’s absolutely worth doing some research first in order to make the transition safely and ensure that it’s sustainable long-term so that you don’t need to stop later. Essentially, so long as you warm up properly beforehand and/or stay trained and warmed up by masturbating anally and wearing a butt plug regularly, and listen to your body and don’t do anything that actively hurts or stop if there’s any bleeding, rest a day or two, and try again. Those are usually only an issue when you’re first getting started. From there, establish a routine and try to stick with it as well as you’re able. The main thing that makes anal difficult is not doing it often enough, because your anal muscles tighten back up if they aren’t used, and need to be warmed up again. Ultimately getting to where you do it every day or every other day is ideal. If you need to transition more gradually, I’d start by doing anal at least one day a week (or more often if you already do it more often) and make that be your anal only day, and then every few weeks, adding an additional day per week that’s anal only and reducing a vaginal day, until after a few months you’ve transitioned to full time anal and no vaginal. For more information on this process in more detail, read the Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle.
I’ve let my husband control all our sexual activities and have been happily free use for him since we married almost 10 years ago. I love how beautiful it makes me feel when he touches every part of me, even the places I used to think of as dirty. He introduced me to anal sex early on, and it has gradually become more frequent, but he used to usually bring me to orgasm using my clit afterwards, partly as a reward and partly as a way to help me tighten my asshole back up and keep some of his cum inside me without needing a plug.
At the beginning of last month he told me I was ready to stop relying on my clit and that he would be taking a break from my pussy. We haven’t had anything but anal since then, which has never given me an orgasm. He reminds me how strong I am and he tells me how much he loves to see me learning to relax and not being lazy to rely on orgasms to find my muscles. He has been sliding a finger up my ass and having me tighten up after sex so that I can keep most of his cum inside me. He told me today that he intends to remain anal only and it feels a bit daunting but I’ve always trusted his guidance and he’s never made me anything but ecstatic to have such a loving and nurturing husband who pushes my sexual boundaries.
For the most part I love it and I’m not entirely sure why. I’ve always loved making him happy and he seems very proud of me for going so long without orgasm. He has always helped me learn to love the ways he wants to touch me and maybe I will learn this way too. It still feels more uncomfortable than it is pleasurable, but I’m getting used to it and figuring out how to relax faster every time. The other night when I was on my period he didn’t even have to remove my tampon, he told me how nice it was to not have to make a mess and he was right. I’m hoping I learn to really enjoy it even if I don’t learn how to orgasm from it.
I had no idea there was an entire community dedicated to people who felt this way and I’m excited to have so much to read up on and learn about. Thank you for sharing your stories, I’ve begun reading some of the success stories and they make me feel all warm and fuzzy. If anyone happens to be in a similar situation and cares to share any words of support or encouragement, tips and tricks, or maybe even pitfalls to avoid, it would be appreciated. I’m looking forward to being a regular poster when I have updates.
Anonymous: My girlfriend and I got together 6 years ago. She didn’t have much sexual experience when we met, but during those years, little by little, I got her into anal, then anal only, then strict clitoral denial, then casual ass to mouth, then finally orgasm denial (she still has anal orgasms occasionally, but they happen when they happen, I never get out of my way to cause them, and I don’t behave differently when they do).
To me, she’s now the perfect girlfriend, and I actually proposed her! We’re getting married in about three months.
So far, we always had goals in our relationship, and for our marriage, we’d like to try new goals… but I’m perfectly happy, so I’m not sure what I could add, haha! We both love all your blogs, and we wondered if you could suggest something, a new goal to start our marriage. That’d please us very much.
We’re monogamous, not into dirty play or water sports. You probably guessed that my girlfriend is submissive – she wasn’t at first, but she got more and more submissive (both in and out of bed) and slutty as soon as we started clitoral denial. It boomed even more after orgasm denial.
What would you suggest? Thanks, and keep up the good work!
It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship and a wonderful fiancée, thank you for sharing your experiences and your progress together.
Committing to an anal only marriage and a life of pure anal together seems a pretty great goal in and of itself, and having a ceremony of your own after the main wedding where you pledge anal only to each other is something that some anal only couples like to do.
Beyond that, it sounds like you’re at a pretty great place already and should enjoy your ideal relationship and sex life. If there isn’t anything that stands out as something that you’d really like to do, there’s nothing wrong with just enjoying what you have together.
If you wanted to push her anal limits, you could explore larger toys or double anal with you and a toy. If she doesn’t wear a plug regularly, you could introduce long term plug wear into your routine. You could talk with friends and couples you know about the anal only lifestyle and work together to try and encourage other people to experiment with it and discover its benefits as well. You could symbolize your commitment to the anal only lifestyle with a set of chastity piercings.
If you do settle on something, or have any other questions, don’t hesitate to share or ask.
My wife and I have been married for eight years, as of September. We had anal intercourse throughout our relationship, but we only began to reliably have anal sex starting around our fifth year. Since then, each year she has become more and more interested in an anal only lifestyle. I had brought it up to her during intercourse, and she said that she enjoyed the thought of it.
We have started maintaining an anal only lifestyle since two months ago. Leading up to this wonderful change in our relationship, we made the decision that should would not be allowed to orgasm outside of anal sex. It wasn’t long before my wife abandoned her cunt in favor of anal sex, though she chooses to abstain from orgasms about half of the time, as she wants to ensure that she is focused on anal pleasure.
She has told me that she wants to maintain two different styles of anal only sex in our marriage. First, she wants to only orgasm when my cock is in her ass, and she wants to work toward being clit-free. Second, she wants to nourish an orgasm-free outlook regarding anal sex, so she often has me assfuck her without allowing her to touch her clit. Each time that we have clit-free anal sex, she becomes more and more aroused by it. We have not successfully had an anal only orgasm, but as she abstains from clitoral orgasms, I can tell that we are getting closer.
We have decided that she will use her glass plug, which is about the circumference of my cock, every other day. It has gotten to the point when she wears it without me bringing up the topic. She wears it about two hours every other day, and she continues to wear it for longer periods of time. This makes anal sex much easier, as the warm up period it the more serious hurdle regarding anal sex. She has a semi-permanent gape, and she proudly shows it to me in the evenings.
Last week, she surprised me by asking me if we could renew our wedding vows on our 10th anniversary to be anal only. This would be a private event with her girlfriends. I am looking forward to making our new wedding vows. We are taking active steps for her to be clit-free, and I feel that her first anal only orgasm will lead directly to total freedom from her cunt and clit. She has expressed interest in being an anal only doll, as she wants her pleasure to be derived from my own pleasure and whatever experiences she has with her ass during intercourse.
While not anal only my dominant partner controls my sexual experience including when and how I orgasm. Generally speaking he does not allow me to orgasm often – in fact I have only been granted five orgasms in seven months!
He recently told me tho that I may cum freely from anal masturbation. I have been enjoying my effort. It feels fabulous to fuck my ass with my fingers and my dildo. When I do do my pussy gets so wet – it almost continuously flows with periodic spurts that feel great. I usually stop only because I feel overwhelmed or exhausted but not because I really feel done or sated.
Now I don’t think of what is happening as an orgasm. It doesn’t feel like an orgasm. It feels good. Sublime. And it does relieve pressure. But I’ve been comparing it more to a man getting his prostate milked than to an orgasm.
Reading your blog tho I see you often refer to anal orgasms as feeling different, leaving the woman still feeling aroused rather than sated. So my question to you is what I’m having an anal orgasm and because it is so different from a clit or pussy orgasm that I’m just not recognizing it as such? Or do others also experience the same mind boggling non orgasm milking that I’m describing and do they distinguish it from an anal orgasm?
While different people have different experiences, anal orgasms do generally still act as a climax with strong muscle contractions, etc. While they often won’t eliminate your arousal in the same way a clitoral orgasm might, they can reduce it somewhat and you can still feel satisfied afterwards often even though you might want to keep going. (For some women, the opposite might be true and an anal orgasm can be more like a ruined orgasm instead, but that seems less common.)
I’ve heard the comparison between clitoral and anal orgasms as the difference between an orgasm concentrated right in the clit and a full body orgasm.
I suspect that while you might be experiencing a state that could lead to orgasm, your comparison to prostate milking might be more accurate—very pleasurable, but not a climax.
I welcome other people’s opinions on this as well, however!
One of the more subtle but powerful effects of anal sex in general and the anal only lifestyle is the amplifying effects that it can have on arousal. For someone with an already powerful sex drive, this can be quite the intense increase, while for someone who might struggle with arousal or has a partner with a higher libido than they do, it can be an incredible gamechanger and help.
Anal Can Be Very Exciting
While anal sex is becoming increasingly popular and common, it’s still generally less common than vaginal sex, and so anal play and sex can be quite exciting and that excitement often translates into increased arousal about having and during anal sex.
However, it’s not only limited to those who are just getting started with anal. Anal only couples very frequently report an increase of arousal or desire that continues many years into their anal only relationship, and while it’s quite common for sex to become stagnant and vaginal to become boring, anal is far more likely to remain exciting and arousing for everyone.
Anal Stimulation is Arousing
The anus has a high concentration of nerve endings that make it one of the most sensitive sexual centers in the human body, and the rectum is in close proximity to other pleasure centers in a way that anal penetration easily stimulates, so it’s no surprise that anal stimulation and penetration not only feels really good, it can have an intense effect on arousal as well. Women who engage in anal sex frequently talk about how horny it makes them, and as they gain more experience, especially when shifting away from vaginal sex or clitoral stimulation to focus exclusively on anal, develop an anal arousal they can feel in their ass, and a craving for more anal sex.
The Effects of Anal Orgasms on Arousal
It’s pretty commonly known that vaginal and clitoral orgasms often result in a loss of arousal afterwards, with women losing interest in sex and even feeling bad or regretful or depressed afterwards. This unfortunate effect can result in an overall decrease in libido for some, but generally just puts an end to the fun for a while and makes people not feel very good about themselves. It’s also led to a growing interest in orgasm denial and edging for many women, which can provide pleasure and arousal without the negative side effects.
With anal sex and the anal only lifestyle, however, come the possibility of anal orgasms, which can be intensely pleasurable—often more so than vaginal or clitoral orgasms—but also for most women do not result in a loss of arousal afterwards. Women still feel great, and sexual, and horny, and happy post-orgasm, and can continue for more if they want, or just stay in that happy arousal-filled state of mind, put a plug in, and continue with their day. It’s a great sex-positive way to be, that fills one’s entire life with a state of sexuality and pleasure rather than only some occasional period of time.
So if arousal or loss of arousal post-orgasm has been an issue for you, continue the anal only lifestyle and pursuing pure anal orgasms without clitoral stimulation, and you’ll likely have a much more positive and enjoyable experience!
With orgasm denial and edging play a popular practice for many people, some wonder how to effectively put edging into practice while living the anal only lifestyle, and as much as being anal only appeals to them, the exclusion of clit stimulation makes continued edging for them to be difficult to implement.
Firstly, always remember that you can absolutely be anal only while continuing to use clit stimulation as needed, especially if only using it to edge and build up your arousal for anal. “Anal only” refers to excluding vaginal penetration, and any other variations beyond that are optional and highly variable based on personal preference.
However, if you are committed to excluding clit stimulation entirely, you can still edge with just anal stimulation, even if you don’t know how to orgasm from it yet. It can be a somewhat different experience, and you may need to adjust your expectations a little bit, and start out just by telling yourself that what you’re doing really is edging, but the more you do it, the more it will completely fill whatever role clit edging did for you in the past.
Putting your clit as far from your mind as you can, just start out by gently rubbing and fingering your anus until you’re totally warmed up and relaxed, and then start probing with a finger or a toy in order to find the most pleasurable spot to focus on and start building the pleasure by doing this, but without letting yourself get to orgasm. Any time your clit calls out for attention, focus on your ass even more instead, and as your arousal builds over time and between sessions, answer the call of your clit by fingering and fucking your ass instead.
The more you experiment with this, the more you’ll learn just how satisfyingly unsatisfying it can be in just the way you crave from edging, and you’ll find that you don’t need your clit at all, even to edge yourself or build your arousal—your asshole can be your source of arousal instead.