Category: Butt Plugs


Struggling With Anal Sex? Try Butt Plugs!

Here at the Anal Only Lifestyle, we believe that anal sex should always be pleasurable and pain-free (unless you’re specifically trying to achieve pain in a safe and consensual manner), but unfortunately a common complaint with those first exploring anal is that it hurts and even if it’s something they really want, it can be a challenge for people with little experience to get started without being turned off by painful experiences, past or present.

We have more information on working around this specific issue in the Anal Training section of our Guide to Anal Sex & the Anal Only Lifestyle, but this article will focus specifically on butt plugs and just how great they can be for this purpose.

A Matter of Training & Relaxation

Fundamentally, most people need some level of training and muscle control to relax their anal muscles and be able to open up easily for anal penetration. Warming up those muscles before having sex is an excellent way to help them relax during sex, and inserting a butt plug is a quick and easy way to achieve this.

At the most basic, wearing a butt plug for at least half an hour before having anal sex will help you warm up and be much more relaxed, making sex with a partner or a dildo easier to achieve painlessly.

But beyond that, if you’re really committed to having anal sex regularly and want to have the best experience, start wearing your plug regularly even at times when you aren’t about to have sex. Wear it during the day, during the night, and on days off, and the more you do so, the better and easier anal will become.

A Constant Companion

The more you wear a plug, the more it can help not only benefit your anal training but also amplify your arousal and reinforce your interest in anal sex or the anal only lifestyle. By going about your day with a butt plug inserted, it serves as a steady reminder of anal penetration and keeps you aroused and excited about having your ass filled with something else—whether that be a partner or a toy. It can be a motivating factor, and that excitement and arousal will also help you to relax further and make that subsequent penetration easier for you.

Passive Pleasure

Along the same lines as the above, that presence of a butt plug worn throughout the day provides a delightful sort of passive pleasure and enjoyment in addition to the training benefits you get from it. People wear plugs most often because they feel really good, and you’ll no doubt find the same result. Walking around, sitting down, riding a bicycle or driving, and just generally living your life while receiving constant, passive anal stimulation can be a very enjoyable thing.

What Types of Plugs are Best?

There are so many different butt plugs on the market today, thanks to the steadily growing interest in anal stimulation and sex, but not all are well-suited to the same purposes.

If your goal is training for anal intercourse, you really want to target the anal muscles, and while very slim-necked plugs will still provide some benefit through anal stimulation and arousal helping to relax the anal muscles, the best effect is going to be the result of using a plug with a bit of a thicker neck that helps keep your anal muscles open and relaxed for a longer period of time. Just as the other muscles in your body can be tight and more prone to pain in that state, anal muscles need to be stretched out before use so they’re warmed up and relaxed, and that’s where a thick-necked butt plug really comes into use.

If you want to wear a plug for longer periods of time, comfort is a top priority, and so finding one with a thin, ergonomic base that still serves its purpose of retaining its position comfortably, but without digging into your sensitive skin or causing discomfort. There are a lot of good options out there, and our Guide to Anal Toys offers some suggestions to try out.

Discussion: Are Butt Plugs a Good Way to Ease Someone Into Anal Sex?

That’s the question of a Quora user, who receives the following response which makes an excellent key point:

Yes, but butt plugs are not the beginning step.

The beginning step is always to get the person comfortable with the thought of anal.

Start by massaging around the anus. Once the person is comfortable, use lube and start with a finger. Gently.

Only after your partner is comfortable with a finger or two, take the next step of butt plug.

Miera Sharma, Quora

Continue reading and join the discussion at Quora

Message: How Big To Go?

Anonymous: I’m a self-described anal only slut and I just can’t ever seem to get enough of big things in my ass. I’ve been doing anal since I first started masturbating and knew right away I liked to put my finger in my butt more than my pussy, and pretty much have been anal only ever since, only trying it in my pussy a few times along the way, but otherwise it’s barely been used and I’m done trying, I just want it all in my ass all the time! I cum easily from anal and never have from my pussy.

I like using big toys, stretching my ass as much as I can and making it bigger until it gets easy and I go even bigger yet. I really like fucking guys one on one still too and it feels great but I’m compelled to stretch it more and more as well. I started doing double anal pretty often last year and that’s a lot of fun, both on my own with toys and with two guys at once. I think that’s my current favorite, but I’m getting into fisting now too and I’d like to start doing triple anal.

But how big should I go? Should I stop somewhere or just keep chasing my need to go bigger and bigger? I know how to be safe and not hurt myself and I always stop if something starts to hurt, I don’t want any long-term injuries or ill effects, and I don’t have any problems as a result of my passion even though I’ve been at it for years now. I saw you posted about some girls going double anal only and I’d like to try that at least for a while. I wear a 2″ plug every day and sometimes bigger, should I go larger with that?

Thanks for the message! Sounds like you have an awesome and healthy anal only sex life! While not everyone craves going to bigger and bigger sizes, there’s nothing at all wrong with that desire and I think it’s totally normal as you really get into anal and the anal only lifestyle, especially when combined with a slut lifestyle.

Go as big as you want and keep chasing that craving. As long as you play it safe, you aren’t going to hurt yourself or develop long-term issues. And don’t worry about getting “loose” either, assholes don’t really get loose, they just increase their upper size limit. And you can have a lot more fun with a well-trained, flexible asshole than an overly tight one! So definitely keep doing what you enjoy most.

Double anal is definitely becoming more popular lately. It’s been a popular porn genre for a while, but in recent years I’ve seen a huge uptick in real women starting to practice it, some occasionally, some regularly. I know several who have gone “double anal only”, as you mentioned, and who have made it their primary sexual activity, only having sex with two or more partners penetrating them anally at the same time. If that sounds appealing to you and you have the partners to make it work on a regular basis, it could definitely be something to explore. It’s a very fun idea for the right person.

There are a lot of large plugs out there. If you find your everyday plug really comfortable and not pushing your limits anymore, you might try going to a larger one as your primary one, which will help keep you relaxed open for bigger and better things.

Good luck, and let us know how things go. I’m sure you’re in for a very fun time going forward.

Message: I Hate My Vagina

Anonymous: I love love love your blog and loved your blogs on Tumblr when you were there. I’m 28, and a vaginal virgin by choice since I was 16 when I first had sex. I have never liked my vagina or vaginal sex, and always been turned off by it and wished I didn’t even have it. I’ve always played with my ass, and barely even tried playing with my cunt after I did it a few times and hated everything about it. It just feels gross and wrong to me and turns me off immediately.

So instead I’ve been putting things up my ass as long as I can remember and having anal sex only for the last 12 years and I plan to never have vaginal sex. The idea of being anal only forever and keep my cunt totally unused and untouched makes me really happy and so that’s my goal. I love everything about anal and nothing about vaginal. I do it all—ass to mouth, permanent clit denial for the last decade, even double anal I love! I’m engaged to a wonderful man who I have amazing anal sex with almost every day and who feels the same way and wants to keep me a vaginal virgin too.

My only hesitation at all is that we want to have children, and while it makes sense that vaginal sex is for getting pregnant and anal sex is for everything else, I just don’t ever want to get fucked in my cunt even for that. I read that some people have been able to get pregnant without having vaginal sex, can you give us some advice on that? I hope to get pregnant but never have to get fucked any way but in my ass. Thank you!

You sound like a wonderful woman and your fiance is a lucky man. Everything you described about yourself is exactly what I would consider an ideal partner in every way.

As for getting pregnant without having vaginal sex, that’s a topic of growing interest among anal only women, and there are multiple women in the anal only community who have success with that goal.

Some have gone to a fertility clinic and undergone in-vitro fertilization treatments in order to achieve that goal. This is a very successful way to go, but also expensive.

Some will have anal sex like normal and then pull out and spread open her vagina to ejaculate inside without penetrating. The use of a speculum or other tool to help hold it open can aid with this, as can certain medical lubricants in the vagina to help his semen penetrate more deeply quickly.

My personal preference is a variation of the above, where anal sex is done normally in a doggy style position but he ejaculates inside and then spreads open your vagina while you push out his semen and it runs down into your vagina. Potentially paired with the above lubricant technique, this can be very effective and is a pure anal technique that involves anal sex to completion. It can take repeat attempts over several months to be successful, but that just means more anal sex to enjoy!

Good luck to the both of you.

Discussion: Can you wear a butt plug all day?

This is a common question and concern once someone discovers anal pleasure and the joy of butt plugs and wants to experience that feeling more and more over time. Fortunately, the answer is yes! With a little practice, if it stays comfortable, you can keep it in as long as you want! If it starts to hurt, you should take it out and let yourself rest until it doesn’t hurt anymore, but otherwise go for it. Wear that plug as often and as long as you like.

Continue reading on Quora

Message: First Anal Only Orgasm

Vince: So I thought I would share that I bought a new buttplug and it hits exactly the spot I need. since I’ve gotten this toy I have came from just anal twice now. it’s really hot to cum with out touching my penis what so ever. now to just keep up with it and break the bad habit of touching my penis I don’t do it often but every once in awhile I get tempted to touch

Congratulations on the anal orgasms! Like you say, you just need to stick with it now, but with the ability to cum from anal in your grasp, it will become a lot easier to avoid any other forms of stimulation—whenever you feel the urge, just start working on an anal only orgasm instead and focus all your efforts on that. As you start cumming from anal more and more frequently it will become increasingly easier, and urges to have less appealing and pleasurable sorts of orgasms will fade in favor of pure anal.

Message: Anally Obsessed

Anonymous: Ok so lately I have been so obsessed with anything anal. I have kept myself plugged 24/7. I masterbate anally everyday or night, watch anal porn, and sext online to strangers about anal sex all the time. Is being obsessed with anal normal?

At one level, yes, of course. Anal is so amazing that of course you’re obsessed with it. And because anal boosts your arousal, it can be somewhat of a self-perpetuating obsession because the more you do it, the more you want anal and nothing else.

You just have to make sure that you stay on the healthy side of obsession, and that it doesn’t get in the way of your regular life. So long as it isn’t negatively interfering in other important things for you, it’s fine, but if you notice an imbalance in other parts of your life, you might want to back off a little bit and make sure you’re spending important time on other things too.

Anal training, play and sex are all important, but not the only important thing in life. Maybe open up to some of your friends about anal and the anal only lifestyle and encourage them to try as well so it can be more of a social experience as well, and you can build up a friend group you can share and talk with about anal and being anal only.

The Benefits of Frequent Butt Plug Wear

For more information about butt plugs and other anal sex toys, see our guide to Butt Plugs & Dildos for Anal Masturbation.


The use of butt plugs among those who regularly practice anal sex is almost ubiquitous, because of the great benefits they offer. Not only are they useful for warming up and relaxing before having sex, they have long term training benefits, feel great, and are just sexy.

You don’t have to just wear them for short periods of time, however! More frequent and longer-term usage of a butt plug can be a great way to advance your anal skills and pairs well with the adoption of the anal only lifestyle.

Frequent Butt Plug Wear Helps to Always Be Ready For Sex

Just as anal masturbation and butt plug wear right before having sex helps to open you up and relax your ass for sex, making the initial penetration easier, wearing a plug more frequently even when not immediately planning on having sex shortly after will help keep you prepared for more spontaneous anal sex. The increase of frequency and duration of anal penetration results in your anal muscles staying warmed up and relaxed in between sessions, and anal sex becomes much easier to do regularly as a result. Additionally, the subtle and often involuntary muscle movements throughout the day as you retain the plug in your ass while moving around helps to not only strengthen your anal muscles, but to also develop more conscious control to be able to relax at will in the future.

Many people have commented on the fact that butt plugs are what made anal sex and the anal only lifestyle possible for them. Struggling at first with the increased frequency of anal is not uncommon when first transitioning to anal only, but wearing even a relatively small butt plug on days between having sex can really help with soreness and continued relaxation so that you don’t lose your training and return to being excessively tight in between having sex.

Staying Plugged During Everyday Life Keeps Your Focus on Anal Pleasure

For someone in the process of going anal only, vaginal or clitoral urges can still linger and try to dominate, and it can be hard to resist giving in to old habits. Wearing a butt plug throughout the day can help with those urges by keeping your attention on your ass and how good it makes you feel and how much you enjoy and prefer being anal only. It reminds you that vaginal and clitoral stimulation aren’t what’s important to you, that only anal is important. It helps you center yourself on your ass and the feeling of being filled anally.

Knowing Your Ass Is Plugged is Your Sexy Little Secret

Wearing a butt plug doesn’t just feel good, it can also make you feel really sexy and slutty, and walking around in public with a plug up your ass is a great way to enjoy your own sexy secret, either on your own or with your partner. Anal only women often comment on how much they enjoy feeling sexy and slutty for their partner, knowing they only take it up the ass and how that makes them special and different from most women. Wearing a butt plug in public has similar effects, and can really turn on and boost the confidence and morale of someone.

For those who are into exhibition, combining a butt plug with a short skirt and a lack of underwear can be an excellent way to show off one’s secret to others, too.

Anal Only Valentine’s Day

Still looking for a last-minute Valentine’s Day gift to give your boyfriend? If you aren’t already anal only together, why not go anal only for him? Whether it’s for the day, for a week, or for a month, tell him you want him to have anal sex with you as often as he wants without doing vaginal at all.

And if you are already anal only, this could be the opportunity to introduce something new, like clitoral denial, long-term butt plug wear, or working up to double anal, fisting or larger anal toy use into your routine.

And if by the end of your day, week, or month of anal only, you find that you really enjoyed it, just keep going with it! A trial period like this is a great way to discover that you actually prefer being anal only.

Article: I Really Like Anal Sex But My Husband Doesn’t

I like anal sex. There. I said it. No, I love it. My friends think that is completely weird and gross. But dare I say I like it as much if not more than regular sex. My husband Chris though. Hates it. All my friends tell me how their husbands essentially beg them to have anal and they hate it and here I am with the husband who isn’t interested in anal at all. It’s too messy, he says. Too complicated or something. And it kind of annoys me that he won’t satisfy me in that way once in a while.

Chris is a great husband. I love the guy. And we used to have anal about twice a month when we were first together. I’ve always been a huge fan of butt play — dildos, fingers, vibrators. But I had never had anal sex until I met Chris. I always thought he was into it, too, until one day he said no to it. Then the next time, he said no again. And that trend continued. When I asked him about it he told me that he didn’t like it, that it felt too planned, too much worrying about the clean-up, mostly because he can’t come from anal, so we usually have vaginal sex after that but he has to clean his penis before we can do that.

We’ve tried starting off with vaginal but then he can’t get hard enough for what is essentially round two of anal. And I want anal! I feel like I just said anal a million times, but I’m not sure how to handle this situation and mostly I feel really alone. I can’t be the only woman out there who likes to have anal sex, can I?

I also feel like I do things I don’t particularly love to do for my husband — namely blowjobs — to make him sexually happy. Why can’t he do this for me?

This is an all-too-common complaint, sadly, and which really reveals the truth to the myth that all men want anal and all women try to resist it. The reality is that some men and women love it, and some don’t. And not everyone always ends up with a partner who shares that love, regardless of gender.

However, many of these particular complaints can be resolved. If he thinks it’s too dirty or is worried about cleanup, some dietary changes and taking care of any hygiene needs in advance of having anal sex can ensure it nearly always stays clean. (Of course, there’s always a chance it can get messy, and that’s just a risk you take with anal sex.)

The same applies to his concern for it feeling too planned. In addition to cleaning in advance of having anal sex, wearing a butt plug or masturbating anally regularly throughout the week between having sex will make the amount of preparation and warmup much less than it otherwise would be.

When one partner really wants anal and the other is hesitant, the partner who wants it should do everything they can to make things as painless as possible (both literally and metaphorically) for their partner.

His inability to orgasm from anal is a bit more uncommon, and it seems likely that it’d be the result of his mentality towards and attitude about anal sex rather than physical stimulation, since anal quite often feels far more pleasurable for men than vaginal does. If he resents doing anal, he may not be able to get in the headspace to be able to enjoy it and feel an orgasm grow. Unfortunately, if it is physical rather than mental, there isn’t enough information in this article to be able to determine the cause and offer suggestions.

I hope they were able to work through their differences surrounding and that she’s now able to enjoy the frequent anal sex she needs and deserves.

Read full article at CafeMom