Category: Anal Advice

Posts containing advice about anal sex and the anal only lifestyle. For more general anal advice, see our Anal Sex Advice and Guide to the Anal Only Lifestyle page.


How Much Anal is Too Much?

I see this question come up a lot, as people discover that they really enjoy anal but then worry that they can’t have it as often as they would like to. This is one of those things that keeps a lot of people from going anal only, because they feel the need to take time off between having anal sex and do vaginal in between to make up for it.

The reality is that there’s not really any such thing as too much anal sex, and it all depends on you and your body and how much you can handle at a given time.

If you’re getting sore after anal sex every time you do it and need to rest between having sex again, you’re on the edge of what’s right for you at that time. You should find a balance and frequency that just slightly pushes your limits and stick with that for a few weeks to a month, and then gradually start increasing the frequency. If you can do it twice a week at first, try going to three times a week after a while, and so on from there.

If you aren’t getting sore or noticing any problems, then you aren’t doing it too much and it’s perfectly fine for you, and could probably do it more often if you wanted to!

Ultimately, the more frequently you have anal sex, the easier it is to have anal sex frequently, because it helps keep your anal muscles in good shape and ready to have sex. Think of it like exercising, if you work out infrequently, you get sore and are in pain and struggle every time you do it, but if you establish an exercise routine and stick to it regularly, it gets much easier and more enjoyable. The same is true for anal sex.

Message: Stop Wasting Time on Vaginal Sex

Anonymous: Why do so many women say that anal is amazing, then they go back to vaginal sex? You’re wasting time on vaginal sex. After your first anal orgasm, you should go anal only! A real anal slut abandons vaginal sex and goes anal only.

There are a variety of reasons: some people aren’t ready to give up vaginal yet, or think they need to continue it to be normal or to be a “proper” woman, have a partner who wants it even if they don’t, don’t feel that they’re ready for full time anal sex yet, or have fears about some of the myths surrounding “too much” anal sex.

But yes, it’s a waste of time to continue focusing on vaginal sex when you could be unlocking the true pleasures of pure anal only and anal orgasms. I highly encourage making the transition from doing both vaginal and anal, or even from being “mostly anal only” to full time, 100% anal only.

Message: Panties for Anal Sex?

Anonymous: Hi, I was wondering if you could tell me the name of the panties I sometimes see girls wearing in porn where it covers their pussy but is open in the back for anal sex?

I really want some! I like keeping my pussy covered and I use tape but panties like this would be nice too for when I can’t tape my pussy. I love the idea of chastity but I’m too scared to get piercings or anything, so tape and other easy things would be great!

You can usually find those panties by searching for “backless panties” or “open back panties” or “cage back panties”. They’re an excellent option for any anal only woman and send a good signal to partners! I’ve even heard of a few anal only women who don’t wear any other kind of panties anymore.

The Benefits of Overnight Plug Wear

I’ve long recommended the use of butt plugs to aid in the anal training process, and they really are one of the best ways to practice, train and warm up before sex.

Many people, however, are uncomfortable with the idea of wearing them all day at work or in public, or have a job or lifestyle that makes it difficult to do so. Fortunately, there’s a great option anyone can enjoy to make long term plug wear possible and to enjoy the benefits!

Putting in a plug before you go to bed and wearing it overnight can give you many hours of passive anal training each day without interfering with your daily life and routine.

Overnight plug wear passively trains your ass

When you’re wearing a plug during the day, it can be very stimulating and for a lot of people that’s part of the appeal, but it can also be distracting and interfere with other parts of daily life for some people.

By wearing a plug overnight instead, it’s more of a passively pleasant feeling. It can be distracting for some people at first, but with a little practice, it provides an easy 6 to 8 hours per day of anal training where you don’t need to do anything but slip your plug in and go to sleep. Keep up that routine, and you’ll be having anal sex regularly and easily!

Better relaxation and sleep can result from overnight plug wear

Once you get past the newness of having your ass plugged while you sleep, it’s common to wake up feeling more refreshed and relaxed than before and getting better sleep. This may seem counterintuitive to those who are just starting and feel overstimulated with the plug in and may even find it hard to get to sleep the first time or two, but once you get comfortable with it in, it becomes very relaxing!

This pairs nicely with the natural relaxation of the body that most people experience when sleeping, and as their anal muscles relax along with that, it helps the plug hold them open comfortably and train them into becoming more elastic and easy to stretch open for sex and more active forms of masturbation.

Overnight plug wear is one of the easiest ways to establish an anal routine

One of the most important things for enjoying anal long term or becoming anal only is establishing a consistent routine so that your ass stays warmed up and ready for sex rather than waiting long amounts of time between sex or masturbation each time and needing to start over to open yourself back up and getting sore every time.

As you get a little more experienced with wearing a plug to bed, start doing it every night, and you’ll have your very own routine to stay warmed up and limber and ready for sex or masturbation as often as you want.

Ease into overnight plug wear

If you’re new to long term butt plug wear, you may not immediately be able to wear a plug all night long the first time you try it. Put it in, go to sleep, and see how it goes. If it gets uncomfortable sometime in the night, take it out and see if it needs more lube added. If it stays uncomfortable, leave it out the rest of the night and try again the next night. After a few nights of this, you should notice that you can wear it for longer amounts of time.

Similarly, you may find that certain types of plugs are more comfortable than others for overnight wear. High quality silicone, metal and glass tend to be the best. Cheaper silicone and other soft materials that need water-based lube can often dry out overnight and need more lube. But try it for yourself and see how it goes!

Questions and Stories Always Welcome & Encouraged

Hello to all the many readers of this blog—for the past 3 months, we’ve been consistently around 600 people visiting the blog each day, and I’m grateful to all of you for being interested in checking in regularly and viewing the content I write, respond to, and curate multiple times a week. This blog is a labor of love, and it’s been active since early 2013.

While we do get messages and comments from readers from time to time, there are clearly many of you out there who are not reaching out as you read the blog. But I’d like to see that change—I’d like to hear from all of you about your anal and AO stories, experiences, dreams, goals, concerns, and questions. Don’t be shy—send a message! It can be anonymous if you want.

Consistently, readers of this blog have said that hearing other people’s experiences is the most interesting content here and what they want to hear most, so don’t think that your story is uninteresting—it’s a real life experience, and that’s what we all want to hear. People who are curious about going anal only but haven’t done so yet want to hear from other people who have about what it’s like, and those experiences are more often than not what get them to try it too.

And if you’d like to help support the blog in other ways, you can always become a Patron or buy the eBook version of our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle!

Article: How to Avoid Painful Anal Sex

For most people, anal sex can be painful, especially when it is their first time or is with a partner who is not gentle. In a survey of 412 people by the San Francisco Aids Foundation, 96% of participants reported having, or having had, anal sex. Of those participants:

• 86% said that they had experienced pain at least once, while 9% had never experienced pain
• 36% said that they had enjoyed pain during anal sex
• 64% of people who had anally penetrated a partner said that their partner had asked them to stop because of the pain

Anal sex may hurt for several reasons, including:

• the anus not producing lubrication for sex
• the sphincter muscles of the anus being very tight
• certain health issues, such as hemorrhoids, making it painful

However, anal sex does not have to hurt, and severe pain may indicate that a person is doing something potentially harmful.

Continue reading on MedicalNewsToday

Article: Everything You Could Possibly Need to Know About Anal Sex

While pop culture might have you believing that anal sex is an act that can just happen organically without tons of lube and prep beforehand, that’s just not really how it goes. Sure, the ol’ “sorry, I slipped and almost went into the wrong hole” thing happens sometimes, but it’s rare that the slipping excuse would result in full-penetration in your ass — unless you had a LOT of lube involved on both your bum, your partner’s penis, and even then, unlikely.

But if you’re willing to dedicate some time to prepwork (aka anal training), do your research, and buy a few lubes beforehand, anal sex can be uber pleasurable. Who knows, it might even become your favorite.

Yes, anal sex does require some extra preparation, but aside from that, it’s just another sex act. Whether you’re still debating trying it out, or are already committed to doing it, here’s everything you need to know about anal sex for beginners.

Continue reading on Cosmopolitan

Message: Double Anal Leading to Anal Fisting

Loren: We have been doing double anal with hubby for many years but can’t do it all the time. Usually with his cock and a toy but twice with another man and many times with a trans woman which we both enjoy. This has led to anal fisting which puts me out of commission for at least a week. And of course we fuck the trans woman and the ass to mouth tasting each others ass on hubby’s cock is a huge turn on.

Is double anal all the time a goal for you, or do you prefer it as something occasional? With practice, I’m sure that you could make it a more regular thing if you wanted to.

As for fisting putting you out of commission for a week, it sounds like spending more time on warmup and gradually doing it more often until it doesn’t leave you sore or in need of recovery could be a good idea so you can enjoy it regularly without needing to take such a long break after.

Article: These Lubes Will Make Anal Sex SO Much Better

Lube is pretty much required for anal sex — unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating and can’t get wet unless you help it out. Aside from skipping the necessary prep work, forgetting to use lube is one of the main reasons why anal can be unpleasant for some people.

Thicker lubes are best for anal sex, as anal walls are thinner than vaginal walls, and thus require a lube that can keep them nice and slippery to reduce the chances of cuts and tears inside the rectum. Abrasions increase your risk for contracting an STI, and nobody wants that. Overall, anal sex is considered particularly risky in terms of STI transmission, compared to vaginal or oral sex, so condom use is key (unless you’re in a monogamous relationship, and you and your partner have both been tested). And because of that, it’s important to make sure to use a lubricant that’s latex-friendly. Coconut oil and basically anything in your kitchen, for example, can’t be used with condoms.

Another thing to keep in mind is that the anus absorbs water quickly and can dry out easily when you’re using a water-based lube, according to sex therapist Kyla Black. Therefore, silicone-based lubes are usually the safest bet. That said, if you’re having anal sex with a silicone toy (like a strap-on or a dildo), or engaging in anal play with a silicone butt plug, go with a water-based lube and just make sure to use a lot. (Silicone breaks down silicone, and you don’t want your toys breaking down inside your butt.)

Whether you’re having anal sex with a penis or a toy, we want to make sure you’re having a safe and enjoyable time. Thankfully, there are lubes for every type of butt fun. Read on for our favourite lubes for your bum.

Continue reading on Refinery29

Article: New to Anal Sex? Please Read This!

People wanting to try anal sex for the first time are usually attracted by what they’ve heard about it, or were asked by their partner to try it. Most who try anal have no information to guide them towards a pleasurable experience. Here is a list of important things to keep in mind if you want it to be enjoyable, repeatable, and something you and your partner will EVER want to do again!

1) There are two sphincter muscles, and both have to be relaxed for anal sex to feel good. The outer sphincter is a voluntary muscle, so with practice it can be relaxed at will. The second sphincter muscle  is an involuntary muscle about an inch and a half inside the anus. Because it’s an involuntary muscle, you’ll just have to wait for it to relax.  This can take up to twenty minutes for a beginner.

2) Anal sex should not hurt. If it hurts, you’re doing it wrong.  Anal sex feels amazing if the second sphincter muscles are relaxed. If they aren’t, forcing entry will bruise the muscles. That hurts a lot! When people talk about anal sex being painful, this is the stage they’re talking about.  Rectal tissues are much thinner and more fragile than are vaginal tissues. The only solution is to take things slowly – very slowly – and wait for the second sphincter muscle to finally relax by itself. Rush this step, and you may turn off the person involved to ever trying anal sex again.

3) Anal play requires lube. Lots of lube. Unlike the vagina and mouth, the anus and rectum do not produce lubrication. Lubes specifically formulated for anal play are typically thicker to compensate for how absorbant the rectal walls are to moisture. Thinner lubes will be absorbed more quickly, and will  need reapplication. An alternative is silicone-based lubricant, which will not be absorbed into the body, but is not safe for all toys. No matter what kind of lube you choose, use plenty and reapply.

4) Talk to your partner about how it feels. Waiting for the muscles to relax is a wonderful opportunity for communication, feedback, and lots of giggles! Yes, this is a chance to take things with some lightness and fun and even some silliness. Ask questions, answer questions, move slowly. This is a learning curve, as this is a whole new realm of sensations for the newcomer!

5) It gets better. Once relaxed, there is enormous potential for pleasure from anal sex. The second sphincter will eventually learn to relax much more quickly, taking cues from the first sphincter relaxing. This training can take months and even then can be finicky, so always take it slow.

We often tell people there are four major elements to anal sex: lots of good lubrication; lots of time; more lube; and more time.  Go slowly, have fun, and check in with your partner. Anal play is just that: play!

Continue reading on Frisky Business Adult Boutique