Category: Anal Advice

Posts containing advice about anal sex and the anal only lifestyle. For more general anal advice, see our Anal Sex Advice and Guide to the Anal Only Lifestyle page.


Message: You Can Definitely Learn to Love Anal

Anonymous: I read the post last week that criticized you for encouraging women to learn to love anal and keep practicing if they don’t enjoy it. I think that was really unfair, because women can definitely learn to love anal. I know because I’m a woman who started out in her same position and hated anything to do with my ass but my husband when we were dating in college really wanted to do anal with me and we talked about it and I agreed to try because I loved and trusted him and he started slowly and gently and showed me that I could actually feel really good with something in my ass and over a few months got me to where I begged him to fuck my ass. We’re still together and six years later we’re in an anal only marriage.

Was it hard at first? Sometimes, yes, but because he helped me to see the appeal and made me want it, I was willing to put in the effort to first try what he wanted, and then start to want it myself. But if you don’t want it, you won’t put in that effort and you’ll resist and resent what he wants to try, and that leads to never enjoying it.

Thanks for sharing, and you’re exactly right. I think anyone can learn to love anal, but they have to want to learn it. And if they’re coming into it from a position of being pressured or resenting their partner for making them do something they don’t want to, chances are they won’t enjoy it.

But if you like the idea and want to learn how to do it right, that will go a long way towards making you love a cock up your ass.

Your Messages Are Welcomed

As a reminder to our readers, we always welcome your messages, questions, stories, and more. If you have anything that you would like to share or ask on this blog, please send us a message!

It doesn’t matter if it’s been asked before, or if you think your story isn’t interesting—we, and our readers, love hearing from you and want everyone to feel comfortable reaching out and sharing. It helps build this community, and encourages more people to step out of the shadows and share their own stories. And the more people there are openly talking about their love for anal only, the more it inspires others to feel comfortable trying it for themselves.

So don’t hesitate to contact us and share your anal only experiences, goals, dreams, questions or concerns.

Message: Anal Only Dating

Jim: Can you give an article on dating and how to approach those who you don’t know if they would be receptive to anal only or not?

Ah, the eternal question: how do I meet someone who shares the same sexual desires as me without scaring off people who might be into it but aren’t comfortable enough with me yet to say so?

This is actually the topic of a chapter in our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle, entitled Dating & Finding New Partners in the Anal Only Lifestyle.

Article: All Your (Very) Honest Questions About Anal Sex, Answered by an Expert

Anal sex can be tricky. It comes with a lot of hows and whats and dos that many might switch over to their private browser to search for. And while you may have some embarrassing questions about the logistics of backdoor play, know that you should never be ashamed about any of your curiosities, because chances are many others are probably thinking the same thing.

To get all of your questions answered, we asked the best person for the job. Alicia Sinclair, clinical sexologist and founder of b-Vibe anal products, didn’t hold back in any of her responses — including the inevitable question about pooping during anal sex.

Continue reading on PopSugar

Message: Don’t Lose Your Vaginal Virginity

Anonymous: I was never interested in vaginal sex, my first time was anal but later i ended up losing my vaginal virginity so i could feel more “normal” and i regret it deeply. So i just want to tell all the virgin women who read this blog, don’t lose your vaginal virginity. You will regret it like i did.

I agree, for those who prefer anal and are vaginal virgins, it’s much better to stay anal only and not bother with vaginal sex. If someone really wants to try both, it can be reasonable to compare both—you’ll almost definitely end up preferring anal anyway—but if you don’t want to give up your vaginal virginity, don’t do it. You will regret it.

You can always try vaginal later if you change your mind, but you can’t become a vaginal virgin again, and the biggest regret of most women who started with anal and then tried vaginal later is wasting their vaginal virginity on discovering that they hated vaginal and just wanted to go back to anal only.

Message: I Hate My Pussy

Anonymous: I’m a girl and i don’t wanna be a boy but I just hate having a pussy. It’s been 5 years since I went anal only but during this períod i touched my clit many times, to avoid touching my clit i avoid getting turned on with pictures and videos. I don’t know what to do anymore i just wish i didn’t have a clit cause i think that someone is only 100% anal only if they dont touch their pussy ever again.

It sounds like you hate your pussy because it tempts you for stimulation and you find it hard to resist, which conflicts with your strong desire to be pure anal only.

I would encourage you to step back and reassess things a little bit. Yes, you have a pussy. Yes, it can cry out for stimulation and beg to be touched sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you need to use it. You have an asshole to play with instead. When you get horny and feel the urge to rub your clit, finger and play with your asshole instead. Do this multiple times a day and over time, your urges will shift away from your clit.

You can also use numbing gels like orajel, tape over your pussy, a chastity belt, backless panties, and a variety of other things to help yourself move away from your clit and towards being fully anal only without clit stimulation.

That said, everyone has their own definition of what it is to be anal only, and for many women, that includes some or even lots of clitoral stimulation. If you really struggle without your clit, maybe being anal only for you should mean no vaginal penetration but the occasional clit stimulation if you need to without feeling guilty about it. Ultimately, it’s up to you.

Don’t hate yourself or who you are or even parts of yourself. Yes, you may choose to be anal only, and that’s a great thing, which means that your pussy isn’t part of sex for you, but it is still a part of your body, and you can choose to love it in its own way, how it’s always empty and unused and shows how horny you are while you ignore it and play with your better hole instead.

The Joy of Anal

An ongoing trend in places like Bdsmlr and other places that dive deep into the fantasies and kinks that surround anal sex is to focus on degradation, pain, and other negatives. While the intent of this isn’t to shame those who enjoy those kinks, I think that the focus on that side of anal can harm its widespread adoption and enjoyment.

Instead, I’d like to talk about one of the best side effects of anal sex and the anal only lifestyle: the bliss and joy and just sheer happiness that one can experience by going anal only. Lots of people enjoy anal sex, but there’s something kind of magical that happens once you make the decision to fully stop using your vagina (and even more so with your clit) for sex and switch to anal penetration only.

Because your body no longer receives any vaginal stimulation, it is able to fully adjust to anal stimulation as its primary pleasure source, and if no longer experiencing any clitoral stimulation either, you no longer have the negative emotional side effects of clit orgasms that many women experience, such as loss of arousal and post-orgasm depression.

This results in a more constant, increased state of arousal that no only makes you more eager for sex more often, it can boost your mood and genuinely make you happier throughout the day as well. Couples who go anal only report not only greater enjoyment of sex, but becoming closer together as a couple and being happier and more satisfied individually.

Anal and the anal only lifestyle are a joyous thing. Sure, if some of the other kinks appeal to you and are something that you enjoy, by all means incorporate them into your life as well, but don’t let them define anal sex for you if they aren’t something you want.

Reddit: Having a Baby Without Giving up Anal Only

Lately me and my husband are considering having a baby, but I just became fully AO approximately 2 years ago (bc I still needed PIV once in a while). We didn’t want to ruin our progress, it was so hard for me to get to where I am now. I’m afraid if I have vaginal sex I’ll start craving it again or something.

I know all it takes to get pregnant is sperm, there’s no need for PIV, but I’m not sure if it even works. Also we’re looking for ideas to get that sperm in there without doing vaginal, so any suggestions are welcome. If anyone had any experience with this before please let us now. We’d really appreciate it.

Continue reading on /r/analonlylifestyle on Reddit

Reddit: Is Clit Denial Worth It?

So I love anal…a lot. Crave it. Was wondering if clit denial will make anal even better? My partner likes the idea of no clit stimulation, says not touching my clit but knowing how badly I want it makes him so hard. Any other guys feel that way?

Several good responses:

For me teasing my clit without cumming makes me desperate for anal and I cum harder from anal with some clit stimulation.

Just one more way to enjoy your partner and your body. Exploring your limits and finding out how many ways you’re body experiencing bliss is just an amazing journey. Teasing the pain/pleasure thread hold open so many great memories.

Continue reading on /r/analonlylifestyle on Reddit

How You Can Help Spread the Anal Only Lifestyle

The anal only lifestyle has grown organically over the past decade, starting its organized discussion online with several blogs and growing into the larger community that exists today across multiple platforms, and with many individual anal only people sharing their experiences on their own blogs and other non-anal only communities. Anal only is starting to become less niche and bleed into other groups and see more widespread adoption. Still, if we want it to become far more of the norm and a mainstream thing for the average person to adopt, we still have a long way to go to reach everyone and encourage and guide them towards trying and embracing a life of pure anal sex. Here are some ideas on how you can help!

Post About it Online

There are lots of ways you can share your own experiences and desires about anal sex and the anal only lifestyle, and providing many different voices and perspectives on this across a wide variety of platforms not only helps people in similar situations relate to your story and feel less alone in their own experiences, it ensures that the anal only lifestyle and positive discussion about anal sex reaches a broader audience.

  • Join the Anal Only Lifestyle forum, Discord server and subreddit, and talk with other like-minded people
  • Share your story or ask questions right here on the Anal Only Lifestyle blog
  • Create a blog on Bdsmlr, which has taken over from Tumblr as the premier sex and porn microblogging platform for sharing and expressing and exploring one’s sexuality and kinks, and which has a small but growing anal only community forming
  • Start and join discussions about anal sex and the anal only lifestyle on other platforms, including Twitter (here’s a Twitter search that helps find existing discussions about preferring anal or going anal only), Fetlife, HipForums, Reddit, Quora, and any other platform that has discussions about sex and anal. Share your own experiences, and help spread anal positivity and the concept of going anal only and its advantages.

Support Anal Only Porn

There are certain porn producers out there which focus much more on anal porn and produce 100% anal only scenes, at least some of the time. There are also a number of “amateur” content creators who post directly to places like PornHub or ManyVids and produce and sell their own content, often primarily or exclusively anal only. If you’re able, financially support the production of anal only porn by paying for that content and encouraging them to continue focusing on pure anal.

Tell Your Friends

If you’re comfortable talking about sex with your friends, tell them about loving anal and being anal only, and how much you like it and what its benefits are for you, then if they show interest in it, encourage and help them to go anal only too. Provide them with resources like our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle, dispel any concerns they have, and give them any advice of your own that you have on enjoying anal and the process of first going anal only. Challenge them to try it for a month or two, whether as part of Anal Only April or No Pussy November each year, or just on their own, and support them during that challenge period so they have the best possible experience and will want to stick with it afterwards.

Be Open When Dating About Only Doing Anal

If you’re single and dating, be sure to be honest with new partners about your anal only status or interest and that you aren’t interested in having vaginal sex, only anal. It may eliminate some uninterested potential partners, but it’s worth talking about it early on so that you figure out if you’re compatible before ending up in a relationship and being sexually frustrated the whole time.

If you’re hooking up with someone, tell them right up front that you only do anal. If you’re trying to date for a long term relationship, hold off to talk about anal only until you would normally start talking about sex, and get to know them as a person a bit first. But make it an early part of your sexual conversation.

Support the Anal Only Lifestyle Community

A large part of the Anal Only Lifestyle community online is managed by just one person, yours truly, and it takes quite a bit of time and effort (and some money, too) to keep things all running and updated with fresh content for everyone to enjoy and be inspired by.

  • This blog posts every one to two days, depending on my time and availability, and the availability of content. In addition to writing original posts once a week, I answer people’s submitted questions and shared stories, and search the internet for other interesting anal and anal only-related content to share. It can be hard to find enough content to fill the space sometimes, especially during periods when not many people are submitting their own stories and questions to share on the blog, so this can be time consuming.
  • I run multiple anal only blogs on Bdsmlr, after transferring all said blogs off Tumblr. These blogs post between 1 and 6 times a day, and I keep their queues filled with original and reblogged content and captions to inspire and arouse people, with varying anal only-related themes.
  • I maintain and moderate the Anal Only Lifestyle forum, Discord server, and subreddit. We also have a small team of other moderators on the forum and Discord who are a great help.

I also have a full time job that often requires me to be unavailable and offline for extended lengths of time, so content on the blogs—this one included—are queued up in advance so that the schedule continues uninterrupted for everyone to keep reading and then I update and shuffle things around to answer people’s questions more quickly rather than simply adding onto the end of the queue when I’m able while away for work.

As such, if you’re able to help in one of various ways, your support is greatly appreciated.

  • You can buy the Amazon ebook version of our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle and help support us financially with a simple purchase that provides you with a nice reference with a lot of useful information about having anal sex and going anal only.
  • You can join our Patreon and provide a small monthly financial contribution to support the continuing development of this community and ongoing creation and sharing of content for your enjoyment and that of others.
  • You can share interesting articles, posts, and discussions that you find online, ask questions to be answered publicly on this blog, write guest articles, or otherwise help provide content to be added to the blog queue, through our Ask and Submit page.

Thanks to everyone for reading, sharing, and helping support the anal only lifestyle in whatever way you’re able.