When people try to dismiss anal only as niche, fringe, or “just a fetish,” they usually haven’t looked at the real data, or listened to real women. Researchers increasingly have, however: a landmark qualitative study titled “Why Women Engage in Anal Intercourse” (PMC, 2015) interviewed 28 women aged 18–30 to ask the most basic, but rarely answered, question: why? Why are more women exploring anal, and why are many of them coming back to it again and again?

The answers weren’t shocking to people like us, but they might be to those who still think of anal as a taboo or just a “special occasion” act. Here’s what the study found, and what it means for the Anal Only Lifestyle.

Curiosity is the Gateway

Many women described their first anal experience as driven by curiosity. It wasn’t always about trying to impress a partner or act out a fantasy, it was about wanting to know for themselves. What would it feel like? Could it be enjoyable?

Once that curiosity turns into experience, something shifts: the women who enjoyed it aren’t just “open” to anal, they start seeking it out and prefer it.

Sound familiar? For many of us in the anal only lifestyle, curiosity was the first spark. But what kept us here was what these women echoed: deeper pleasure, more intense connection, and a sense of “rightness” in their bodies that vaginal sex never gave them.

Pleasure and Intimacy Takes Center Stage

In the study, the women linked anal sex to deeper emotional and physical pleasure. One woman said it helped her “open up to someone,” while another described it as feeling “closer than vaginal.” That goes directly against the myth that anal is somehow cold, disconnected, or only for porn. Instead, the butthole was framed as a site of intimacy.

That intimacy wasn’t limited to partnered sex either, many women developed their own relationship with their butthole, from solo exploration to plug wear to intentional training. It’s not just about what a partner wants, it’s about claiming your own sexual identity through your ass.

Control, Boundaries, and Redefining Roles

Another powerful takeaway is that some women said they chose anal because it gave them more control, not less.

Unlike the expectations around vaginal sex, anal let them set the pace, define the limits, and feel more present in their bodies. That tracks with what we see in the anal only community: women who reject the idea that their pussy has to be offered, used, or even acknowledged just because they have one.

Choosing anal is choosing intention—choosing anal only is choosing clarity.

Anal is a Shift

Maybe the most important message this study sends is that anal is not just a one-time experiment or something to “check off the list.” For many women, it becomes the preferred way to be penetrated. It becomes normal, primary. For some, like us, it becomes everything.

This research doesn’t just validate the anal only lifestyle—it shows we’re ahead of the curve. Women are choosing their ass, not just as an option, but as a foundation. And they’re not waiting for culture to catch up. They’re stretching, plugging, training, and transforming their sex lives.

This study was published in 2015. Now, in 2025, we’re even further along with people going quietly (and loudly) anal only all over the world. Anal only is the future.

Tess: I’m in my mid-30s and very open about my sexuality. Double anal has become my favorite form of sex, something I was first drawn to in my early 20s after seeing it in porn. What started as fantasy slowly became something I wanted to experience for real.

The path there wasn’t simple. At first, I experimented occasionally with toys along with a partner but it always felt incomplete. I wanted the real thing with two guys, not just the idea of it. I lost relationships along the way because most men weren’t comfortable sharing me, and those breakups hurt more than I expected. It made me wonder whether my desires were simply “too much.”

Eventually, I decided to stop waiting for permission. I went to a group-sex event on my own, where I finally experienced true double anal for the first time. That night was transformative. I knew then that this was something I needed in my life, and wasn’t something to feel ashamed of.

Today, I’m with a partner who has chosen to explore this with me. It took time, honesty, and a lot of reassurance. I had to be clear that sharing this experience didn’t diminish my feelings for him, in fact, it deepened them. What we share now feels intentional and deeply connected.

I’m happier than I’ve ever been sexually, and more confident in who I am. My advice to anyone reading this is simple: don’t let shame convince you to settle. If something feels true to you, keep honoring it. The right people won’t be scared by your desires—they’ll rise to meet them.

Glad to hear you’ve embraced your natural double anal needs, and I hope that this leads to you becoming not just anal only, but double anal only!

Stephen: I’ve long been interested in anal sex. I realize that the anal only lifestyle is not just about the anal sex part. It’s also about ignoring pussy completely and abandoning the clit ultimately.

Wow, it really feels so good to say. It feels so good to let women’s pussies get ignored..

I’m certain I’m anal only.
I will never fuck a vagina ever again.
I will never touch a clitoris ever again.
I will never use my mouth on any pussy or clit again.
I will stimulate her body through nipple play and never pussy play.

It’s good to admit to yourself who you are and what you need, and embrace that fact with future partners. Live that true anal only life from now on.

Tony: A couple of years ago I met Violet. She was sweet, very feminine, and made me feel truly loved. We moved in together quickly and everything felt right. What I didn’t know at the beginning was how wild her sexual side really was. Slowly she started opening up, and it turned out she was completely crazy about anal. Not just regular anal but also heavily into double anal, group play, and watching women take multiple cocks, especially in her ass. She took the lead right away. She showed me her favorite porn, told me exactly what turned her on, and guided me through it all. At first it felt scary and overwhelming, but the sex that followed was incredible. She got so insanely horny that I just went with it.

Before long she told me she wanted to show me the world of swinging. She wanted to play with other men and couples again, so she could get fucked by multiple cocks at the same time. After some back and forth I agreed because I really liked her. That first swinger experience was intense and a little frightening for me, but she was on fire. Seeing her like that, completely lost in pleasure, was something I’ll never forget. We repeated it several times. She even took real double anal with other men while I watched and joined in. She was always leading, always teaching me, always pushing us further.

Eventually I got scared. She felt too sexually advanced, too ambitious in her desires. I thought she wasn’t the right long-term partner for me and I left her. Since then I’ve been with two other women. Both were much more conservative and vanilla. Nice girls, but there was no real fire, no adventure, and definitely no anal exploration like with Violet. She has moved on too and found a new partner.

Now, a few years later and a bit more mature, I see things differently. I realize how special she was. I miss her feminine energy, I miss her taking control, I miss her putting on those dirty double anal and gangbang movies, telling me what she loved seeing and how she wanted to be fucked, and leading us into swinger parties and new experiences. Most of all, I miss watching her get lost in pleasure when she was being double penetrated anally. It fascinated me more than I was willing to admit back then.
I deeply regret letting her go.

So if you’re reading this and you find a girl who is sweet and feminine on the outside but has this extreme anal side and especially maybe even if she loves double anal and wants to explore it with you and others… don’t make my mistake! Don’t run away because it feels scary or too much at first. Give yourself time to get used to it. Let her lead. Enjoy the ride. She might be the best thing that ever happened to your sex life.

True enough, it can be a common mistake to let go of a partner who seems intimidating or hard to keep up with, and that almost always leads to regret. Embrace the experienced partner who wants to take you on new AO/DAP adventures!

From Velunara on r/analonlylifestyle on Reddit:

Hello! I (F19) have been into anal play (AO) for quite some time now, and lately I’ve been reflecting on how it has impacted my life overall. To be honest, it’s hard for me to remember a single day in the past few years where I didn’t engage in some form of anal stimulation. It’s fair to say I’m addicted to it, but in a way that I’ve managed to turn into a massively positive force in my daily life. I’m a hardworking person with a lot of responsibilities, so when I realized my new hobby was starting to affect me negatively, I decided to find a solution. One creative approach that worked really well for me is turning anal play into a reward and motivation system. For example, when doing chores (cleaning, laundry, cooking, etc.), I start with my smallest butt plug. With every task I complete and cross off my to-do list, I switch to a bigger size. Once all my chores are done, I give myself time to fully relax and enjoy anal play however I want. I use the same strategy during workouts: with each exercise I finish, I increase the plug size or switch to a different toy. Squats on a dildo or crunches with anal beads have become some of my favorites , especially when I tilt my body to the side and push the beads in one by one with alternating hands before pulling them out and continuing the set. Since the pandemic, I’ve had a hybrid work setup (only two days in the office, the rest remote). On work-from-home days, I incorporate my toys and reward myself after completing each task. In short, by weaving anal play into my daily routine this way, I’ve become much more motivated to tackle my responsibilities. I actually look forward to starting my chores, workouts, and work now. I’m not sure if anyone else will find this interesting, but I’m curious, has anyone else struggled with an intense interest in anal and managed to channel it into their life in a similarly creative, productive way?

Continue reading and comment on Reddit

Tina: I’ve stopped using my pussy entirely and I love being anal only in theory, but I still haven’t had a full orgasm from anal alone. Should I go back to clit stimulation or keep pushing through?

First off, congratulations on making the commitment! Loving the lifestyle “in theory” is a great start, but we want you to love it in practice, too. What you’re experiencing—the difficulty of reaching a hands-free anal orgasm—is incredibly common during the transition phase.

The reality is, your brain and body have likely been wired for years to associate climax with clitoral stimulation. Retraining those neural pathways takes time, patience, and often a change in technique. Should you go back? Not necessarily. If your goal is to be truly anal only, “pushing through” doesn’t mean depriving yourself of pleasure; it means evolving how you achieve it.

Try these three adjustments before you give up on the goal:

• Instead of total abstinence from clit stimulation, try using it only to get yourself 90% of the way there, then stop and focus entirely on the anal sensation for the finish. This helps your brain start to “transfer” the peak to the new sensation.
• Sometimes an anal orgasm requires a different kind of stimulation than a vaginal one. Experiment with different toy shapes or depths that put pressure in different places.
• The more you stress about the orgasm, the further away it stays. Focus on the feeling of being filled and the intimacy of the act itself. Often, the first anal orgasm happens when you finally stop chasing it.

Stay the course. Stick it out. You won’t regret it.

Elaine: My opinion might not be well received, but, as a woman, I truly believe it’s a man choice to put his penis wherever he wants. It’s their body, their penises. If they want an anal only lifestyle, I truly support it.

Thank you for sharing such a bold perspective. For those like you who embrace such a philosophy it can work quite well. However, I would argue a slightly altered perspective, because often this may lead to women having vaginal sex or losing their anal only commitment due to wanting to do what a man wants. I would advocate for women standing up for their anal only lifestyle and insisting men fuck them in the ass or not at all.

Ginger: My husband and I share a loving and strong marriage, raising a wonderful family together. Over time, our intimate connection has evolved, and we’ve grown comfortable exploring new ways to enjoy each other, especially through regular anal sex. We even watch porn—nothing too crazy, mostly gangbang related stuff.

But deep down, I don’t always feel completely fulfilled. It’s like there’s something more I need: to feel wanted, engaged, used in a way that’s raw and hardcore. The thought of being in a real gangbang and taking double anal keeps playing in my mind. I crave that surrender, that edge. The fantasy feels so strong and necessary to make me happy.

My problem is, I have no idea how to bring this up with my husband. He’s loving, but I’m torn between wanting more and fearing how it might change his view of me. I’m scared he’ll think I’m too much, or maybe gets interested in other women if we go too far. I want to keep our marriage special, but part of me feels selfish for wanting more without wanting to share him. Is anyone else in a similar spot? How do you approach this kind of conversation without risking everything good you already have?

I am really worried. I feel like time is slipping away, and if I don’t take the step to share these desires soon, it might never happen.

What you are feeling is a very natural progression. Often, as we get more comfortable with the intensity of anal only, our minds start pushing the boundaries of what that intensity could look like.

Your fear of how your husband will view you is the biggest hurdle most couples face. However, the fact that you already watch gangbang porn together is actually a huge green flag and suggests he enjoys the idea at some level as well.

My advice is to stop viewing this as selfish. If this fantasy is what you need to feel fully alive and engaged, sharing it is actually an act of intimacy, not a betrayal of the marriage. Start by talking about the content you watch together. Ask him, “What is it about these scenes that you think we both enjoy?” and use that as a bridge to say that you fantasize about being part of one.

You don’t have to jump into a real gangbang tomorrow. You can start with “simulated” double anal using toys or just deep roleplay to test the waters of that surrender you crave, and expand from there.

Anonymous: My girlfriend and I have amazingly hot and vigorous sex. Unfortunately, she experienced a nasty UTI after vaginal sex which required antibiotics. And after this cleared up and we resumed having sex, she soon had to go to the doctor again, this time with tears inside her vagina that had become infected. The doctor even made jokes about “oh your man is very strong”.

We had also started exploring anal sex, which we found highly pleasurable and superior to vaginal sex. And since the tears incident, we decided to go anal only which turned out to be a great success. She hasn’t had any further problems, even with intensive action, perhaps even more intense than in the pussy since the pleasure and intimacy are so strong. I love how her anus gets wet, swallows my cock and clenches on it as she orgasms, and I think we don’t really need the pussy anymore, which can be a source of medical issues.

So glad to hear that going anal only has solved your sexual problems and given you both more intense pleasure and arousal in the process. Just another reason vaginal sex is inferior and unnecessary and everyone should try going anal only!

Emma: A few weeks since my last post. The craving never really eased, multiple men with two cocks stretching my ass wide, sliding together inside me, that deep, complete pressure that makes everything else fade. I needed it so much it was hard to breathe and be in the moment sometimes.

He’d noticed I wasn’t okay for months. Kept asking, sitting me down maybe four or five times to talk. Each time I couldn’t open up, just shut down. Last time I was too tired to keep dodging. I finally told him everything about my past, the wild orgies, the multiple men, the double anal that made me feel so alive and used. Tears came while I said it, voice shaking. How I love him, love what we have, but I’m starving without that intensity.

He took it all in quietly. Said it was a lot to process. He needed some time to think, to put it together in his head. We didn’t talk much for a couple days, but he wasn’t cold, just thinking. Then he came back and said he loves me too much to let me stay unhappy. Doesn’t want to lose me. We could try it. Slowly.

Last weekend we went to a special party, a themed “gangbang”. Small, trusted group, clear rules. We had a safe word just for him if it got too much, we’d leave immediately, no questions, no guilt. He stayed right beside me the whole time, hand on my shoulder or my back, grounding me.

The party evolved as I hoped. No safe word. I found myself at the center of the attention. Finally I felt two guys easing into my ass together, slow, careful, then deeper. I felt that familiar burn turn into the stretch I’d craved. They moved, found a rhythm, and I was in my element, moaning, taking it, coming hard. All eyes on me. During it I saw his discomfort at first, face tight, shifting to watch from different angles. I looked over a couple times and each time he seemed to settle more. Once he saw how completely I was into it, how I bloomed there, the tension eased. He kept watching.

On the way out I leaned on him, and he embraced me tight. Driving home he was quiet at first. Then he said he was proud of me. Proud of how I handled it, how natural and exhibitionist I was without shame. He liked seeing me bloom like that, come alive and dragging all the attention on me. He even said he could go again if I need it. He was curious, asked how double anal felt, really felt, and why it’s my thing, what draws me to that stretch and fullness so much. He wanted to hear it all.

We got home, my ass still tender and satisfied. He held me close. No drama, just soft talk. We’re figuring it out how often, how far. But I’m not hiding anymore, and he’s still right here. I am truly happy.

Thanks for this space. It helped me get here.

So good to hear from you again, and so glad that you took the step and made it happen! I hope that it becomes more frequent for you again and that he will start to take part as one of the men in your ass as well, alongside another guy.