Category: Messages From Readers

A majority of the content on this blog is messages from readers, whether requests for advice, venting of frustrations, or shared stories and experiences. If you have your own question to ask or comment to share, send us a message.


Message: PSA To Women-Focused Blogs/Content Creators

Anonymous: I don’t trust people who claim to be sex-positive yet they got angry and point a finger at a woman who did harmless stuffs, minding her own business, such as preferring anal sex. The stereotypes and perceptions they perpetuate pushes back women who are curious and want to learn about anal sex with a positive mind, and the toxic cycle will keep going and will fuck up people’s mindset if you guys keep saying harmful stuffs to women. This is why I get red flags from feminist blogs/content creators who spread misinformation of anal sex and even say harmful stuffs and it’s a slap to my face as a woman who strongly prefers anal sex for reasons. I really do hope they learn the right information and education about anal sex, including willing to hear and amplify the voices of women who prefer anal, and listen to their experiences. If you think women are not capable of enjoying anal sex because of of her man or any assumptions that are straight up red flags, you genuinely don’t support that women can like different stuffs and have preferences. Women liking anal should not bother people, there is nothing wrong with enjoying anal sex.

Well said! Women can and do absolutely love and prefer anal and people need to stop claiming that they don’t or that it’s just men exploiting them and they only think they like it. The reality is that most women get more pleasure and arousal from anal than from vaginal or clitoral and it’s time the world accepted and respected that. Less than 1/3 of women orgasm from vaginal sex and yet we somehow think vaginal is normal when anal can provide orgasms far more easily than that without the side effects of clit stimulation?

Message: My Girlfriend is Only Oral

Wolf: My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 2 years. When I started having vaginal sex with her I realized that she was not very attracted to vaginal sex and she made many excuses not to have sex. When we had vaginal sex after I ejaculated she tried to bring her to orgasm with my fingers on her clitoris, but she did not like the sensation because when she already felt that she was going to have her orgasm and she told me to stop and not to do that anymore.

She also always told me that she was afraid to get pregnant that before meeting me she had already had an experience where she believed that she was pregnant and was afraid of the fact that it would happen again. We only had sex once a week and I was getting ready I was very tense in my balls, my girlfriend did not want that I would ejaculate if she was not present, so from time to time I asked her for a blowjob or a handjob to release my tension and she accepted and I began to be very excited by the idea that I had an orgasm with her giving me pleasure without her receiving it.

So I proposed to her that she only give me blowjobs and handjobs and after talking about it, we both agreed. And since then we have a much better relationship, we are very close, sometimes she sends me messages while I am at work that if I am ready for my blowjob of the day. Before we only had sex once a week, now she makes me ejaculate every day with a blowjob. And I have told her how horny I am that she pleases me without her receiving it and I tell her that I am very excited to have my orgasm and that she sees me ejaculate without her having an orgasm, she told me that the idea also makes her horny of making me enjoy without her receiving pleasure she gets wet when she sees me enjoy and when she sees me ejaculate.

She says that she feels more comfortable as well because it is a contraceptive method and she knows that she will not get pregnant and that leaves her calm and she enjoys it more and she gets horny she has control of my ejaculation.

We already have 4 months like this and it is the best thing that has happened to me. I found your blog and I liked the posts and I showed it to my girlfriend and we decided to write this because although this blog is about anal sex I have also seen some publications of girls that are only oral, and denial of orgasm for women and I think my situation has some similarities to this blog. Sorry my bad english.

Thanks for sharing! Various forms of sex that exclude vaginal sex have a lot of similarities, and being oral only fits in well with the same sort of mindset as anal only. The two of you might enjoy the oral and anal only lifestyle as well in time while continuing to exclude vaginal!

Message: Anal Only to Stay Virgin?

EllaV: Hi, I found your site because I was searching for a solution to what I want and I think this might be it. I am a virgin and I really want to stay that way, it’s not because of my family or religion really, just something that I want for myself because I don’t like the idea of vaginal sex or getting pregnant until I’m ready, so I’d like to not have vaginal sex until then which will be a long time. But I also am really horny and have been dating so I would like to have sex, and anal only seems like a good way to do it.

I started fingering myself last week and I like how it feels. How long do I need to practice for until I can try anal sex with my boyfriend? He’s been pushing for sex lately and I want to be able to give it to him but I want it to be safe too!

I agree that it’s a good solution for staying a vaginal virgin and I definitely support the idea of not having vaginal sex outside of reproductive goals and only doing anal and oral otherwise! I think that’s a trend we’re going to be seeing more and more of so that we can start to take control of our lives away from the risk of reproduction through sex and turn sex into something that serves us instead through anal only. Sex is healthy and good and should be done regularly but it shouldn’t be vaginal, it should be anal.

I encourage fingering yourself until you can fit three fingers without it hurting and then get a butt plug around that thickness or a little bigger and work to be able to wear that. From there you could either try a dildo similar size to your boyfriend or just work towards anal together with him at that point if he’s patient and gentle and won’t just push it in.

Also be sure to talk with him about your goal to be anal only and that you want to keep your pussy virgin and unused and make sure that he’s on board with this idea as well. The last thing you want is him not understanding and going for your pussy instead.

Good luck and enjoy! You’re going to love being anal only.

Message: Orgasms in the Anal Only Lifestyle

Anonymous: Dear Sir

I wrote to you last June asking for advice on becoming anal only for my Master. First, a huge thank you. Your advice was great and i am officially an anal only slut since April. It feels amazing to say that and my Master is so proud of me. Second, i would like to get your opinion on something. What is your stance on orgasms in the anal only lifestyle? My Master never allowed me to orgasm freely and always made sure i earned it. But since i am anal only it feels wrong to ask for clitoral stimulation (my only way to orgasm). I still want to orgasm but it just does not feel right. Do you have any advice?

Thanks for your guidance and your blog. 

humbly honey 

Thank you for following up! You’re quite welcome, and I’m glad to hear that you have decided to officially go anal only and are loving the experience! Ultimately, that’s what matters most, that you and your partner want it and are happy with it, and if so, then by all means, being anal only is what you should do!

As for orgasms, I’m all for them personally, but each person has their own individual preferences and goals. Excluding clit stimulation can certainly help with amplifying anal pleasure and arousal even further, and if that also works with your dynamic of orgasm denial, then I encourage continuing to explore it further. You may discover that after an extended period of time without clit stimulation, you can start to orgasm from anal penetration on its own!

Message: Stinging When Trying Anal?

Anonymous: When I have anal sex or use a butt plug, it stings and continues to whenever I try anything for a few days. Do you have any suggestions so I can try anal more often without it hurting?

It sounds like you may need to warm up a bit more, starting with lots of lube and gentle massage to gradually work your anus open with fingers, then progressing to a small toy. If it stings, you may be tearing it slightly by going too quickly.

Once you get to where you can use a toy without it stinging, try using it regularly, at least part of each day, and that will help you to stay relaxed and warmed up without risking injury. Even a minor injury can become irritated and last longer if it keeps happening or isn’t allowed to heal, so do what it takes to warm up without pain and you’ll enjoy long term satisfaction of anal sex!

Message: Anal Porn

Anonymous: Hi, I don’t know if you don’t remember me exactly, but I’m a female and I have been anal only for 2 years. I do appreciate that there is anal positivity nowadays. However one thing that really irks me is how porn has become normalize, including anal porn. If you want to normalize anal, then why do people push the connotion of anal as a “porn thing” or things that exists in pornography? That’s how the stigma affects my sexuality and how I view myself all. I am not trying to push the “ban porn” and I really don’t care if anyone wants to watch it. The thing is that many women like me feel insecure and view myself negatively after getting disgusted and I really don’t wanna see any kind of pornography no matter what and I’m not interested in it. Do not learn from porn. Yes it can be amazing but you will regret it. Yes I still like anal sex rather than anal porn, but no offense to the so-called pornography and society who creates the stigma behind anal sex.

I think it’s more that porn has also become quite normalized for most people and recognized that while yes, it’s entertainment and not always an accurate representation of sex, it can be enjoyed by most people and does influence and inspire people to try new and better things as a result. A lot of people say that they first tried anal because they saw it in porn and liked how it looked.

But not liking porn is fine as well, and plenty of people enjoy anal without any pornographic connotations. Just recognize that porn has helped with the spreading of anal positivity in recent years.

Message: I Never Thought I’d Say This…

JennaA: Last month my boyfriend asked me to try going anal only, and I agreed to try it this month because I had seen posts about Anal Only April online. We just started doing anal about a year ago and I had never thought I would been into it at all, but we both really like it now, and my boyfriend really prefers it. I think I prefer it too, but I was always insistent that I wouldn’t go anal only because I like my pussy too.

Anyway, after half a month of anal only, I can see the point of anal only a lot more, and while I still miss my pussy getting attention, I see why it’s nice to not use it and to let it stay horny and get fucked in my ass only. It’s making me much more sexual than I was before and I love it! We haven’t decided yet but I’m honestly open to the idea of staying anal only after April now.

Glad to hear it! It’s a common theme I have encountered over the years: the idea that anal only is crazy and someone would never do that… until she tries it, and realizes how much better it is to be anal only, and after a month or two of just anal, she doesn’t want to go back to vaginal at all.

Enjoy the rest of the month, and definitely keep going after that if you enjoyed yourself in April!

Message: My Anal Only April Goals

AnnaB: My boyfriend eagerly agreed when I said we should try Anal Only April, and I really love it so far, it makes me so horny and wet to only do anal and ignore my pussy! We’re going to try anal only without touching my pussy at all for the whole month and I really hope it goes well because if it does I’m going to ask him if I can stay anal only!

That sounds like the perfect goal, and he’s a lucky guy to have someone so enthusiastic about anal only!

Message: Can We Go Anal Only?

Anonymous: I really like anal sex but it makes me sore after so we don’t do it very often. The idea of being anal only really appeals to me though, and I’d like to try. Is there a way we can do it without me getting so sore?

Anal is one of those things, kind of like exercise in general, where doing it more often and on a more consistent schedule will help you to enjoy it without becoming sore in the same way. Ease into it: start once a week for a few weeks, then twice a week, and increasing frequency over the course of several months until you can do it as often as you like. At that point, it’s easy to make the transition to anal only!

Message: Does Liking Anal Make Me Gay?

Phelix: So I recently told my ex girlfriend I liked to receive anal. She broke up with me because I like receiving anal. She told me that I was gay and that it was weird. I don’t understand it what do you think?

And I have a question? I started play anally about a year and a half ago. I’m trying to orgasm from anal only do you have any tips to stop using my penis to have an orgasm. Right now I can use anal to get to the edge but I have to touch my penis to actually orgasm.

Enjoying anal as a giver or a receiver doesn’t inherently have anything to do with someone’s sexuality. Sexuality has to do with who you’re attracted to. You can be a straight man who likes giving or receiving anal sex from women. You can be a gay man who likes giving or receiving anal sex from men. Or all sorts of other combinations. The sexual act is separate from the gender you’re attracted to and want to have sex with. But because men receiving anal sex has been so associated with being gay in our culture, it’s assumed by some less informed people that liking anal means you’re gay.

As for orgasming from anal, just keep going. It takes time. Try committing to at least several months without anything but anal stimulation and you should gain significantly more sensitivity and start to get over the edge from anal stimulation alone.