Category: Messages From Readers

A majority of the content on this blog is messages from readers, whether requests for advice, venting of frustrations, or shared stories and experiences. If you have your own question to ask or comment to share, send us a message.

Message: Anal Multiple Times a Day

Anonymous: Hello. I’ve been with my husband for about three years and a half now, we’ve been married for about two years. When we met, I had never done anal, but he gradually introduced me to it. At one point, we were doing it quite often (every time we had sex, in fact), and that’s when he confessed to me that he was anal only, and that he only did vaginal sex with me in hope it’d change and I’d agree to switch to anal only with him. I tried anal only for a few months, and I finally agreed to switch. He asked me for marriage very shortly after that (I was 28), obviously I agreed (he’s gorgeous, I’m very much in love, and I really enjoy anal). It was a bit strange to think I’d nearly have no vaginal sex for the rest of my life, but eventually it became normal to me.

My husband is a blue collar worker, and he’s usually very tired when he comes home from work, so we generally fuck about three to four times a week. With the virus outbreak, however, we’re both trapped home, and he’s fucking me every day – several times a day, actually, up to four times a day. It’s to the point I woke up in bed several times with his cock deep inside my ass, plowing me while I was asleep. I’m not used to this at all, but I don’t want to turn him down: sex is a very good way for him to get the stress out – so far, everything is going fine at home despite the situation, and I want it to stay that way. I tried getting him off with blowjobs, but he’s always going after my ass no matter what.

What could I do to avoid being sore, and to be able to take it all? Apparently, this crisis will last for quite some time, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to provide anal sex at that frequency for that long. So far, I don’t feel sore and I’m having pleasure, but I’m a bit worried. Are there creams I could use? Will I gape permanently? My husband marvels about the gape I have lately and he jokes about it, but I’m worried about my ass not being able to close properly in the long term. How could I increase my sex drive to get closer to his? I talked to him about it a bit, and he told me to stop touching myself (I still touch my clit during sex, even if it has always annoyed him) – would that change anything?

Thank you for your work and for your answer.

Thank you for sharing, and it sounds like you have a great anal only relationship. Well done to the both of you for being able to make it work.

Daily anal, even multiple times a day like you’re doing right now, can be entirely manageable and safe, so long as your body is ready and adjusted to it. If it doesn’t hurt and you aren’t sore, then there’s nothing really to worry about. Listen to your body. If you start getting sore, maybe try a little less for a couple days. But really, once you get to where you can have anal four times a day every day, or more, without pain or significant soreness, you should be able to keep doing that indefinitely. Yes, you will likely relax more as a result and have a bigger gape, because your ass is staying more warmed up, but that is not a bad thing and if you take a break from it, it will get tighter again. And remember, being warmed up and relaxed does not mean being loose. It just means that you’re more flexible and elastic and need less preparation. It sounds like your husband appreciates you being warmed up and gaping, so it’s not a bad thing at all! It won’t harm you, so long as you aren’t injuring yourself, and if it doesn’t hurt, you aren’t.

As for higher sex drive, definitely try going without clit play and focusing on pure anal pleasure. If you can orgasm just from anal, try doing only that going forward. If you can’t, try to learn by going without clit stimulation for a while. Or if you really need to cum, use your clit the last time you have sex at the end of the day only. You could also try edging with your clit but not using it to actually orgasm.

Good luck to the both of you, especially in this trying time. With any luck you’ll be able to use the time to get closer and further develop and improve your anal only lifestyle in ways that you’ll both be able to enjoy for the rest of your lives!

Message: Vaginal Virginity Perspective

Kame: Hi, I’ve read your post about why vaginal virginity will become a norm. I think, you are more or less correct. I come from traditional Asian country where virginity is still important, but other hand we live modern lives, that makes the conflict with traditional values imminent. I think anal sex solves the problem here and is compatible with both worlds and it’s getting more popular. I think traditional values in many countries are promoting spread of only anal sex before marriage between youth.

Most definitely, that trend has been taking place for a while and will continue to shift in the direction of anal only with vaginal virginity. And as more people practice an anal only lifestyle as their primary introduction to sex, the more common it will seem to everyone and even more will be inspired to do it. And those who start with anal tend to quickly come to expect the increased intensity and pleasure of anal, to the point that even if they later lose their vaginal virginity, they always much prefer anal.

Message: Best Anal Masturbation Ever

Anonymous: I just started my first ever anal masturbation (I’m anal only, btw as well as being single) and I use jojoba oil as lube and a hot dog sausage as a sex toy to pleasure my asshole. And it feeeeels amazing and it felt so good having something in my asshole. I feel waves of pleasure in my asshole every time I push it deeper in my asshole. I will train my asshole more to make myself feel good <3

Congratulations on an excellent experience! Keep it up, as it only gets better from here!

Message: I Hate Having A Vagina

Anonymous: Ive been an anal only girl my whole life. I desire anal so much and it’s great. However, there were times I wish I have a penis instead of vagina since vaginal gross me out and make me feel wrong, I ignore my vagina and refuse to play with it. I’m a girl, it’s just that it would be better if I was born with a penis (that doesn’t mean I want to be a male)

I know there are other women out there who dislike their vaginas or having a vagina and wish they didn’t, so you aren’t alone in that. But I’d encourage you to just channel that into your love for anal and the anal only lifestyle. You don’t need to use your vagina, so just enjoy being anal only and live your life vagina-free.

A lot of anal only guys love the idea of women who have vaginas but don’t want to use them, and don’t. So if it helps you at all, you can try to think of the idea of being anal only and having an unused vagina that’s always going to stay that way as something sexy and enjoyable.

Message: Advice for Anal Only

Anonymous: My girlfriend and I have been talking about going anal only lately and we have some questions. We both like the idea of it, and she might honestly want it even more than me, but we want to make sure that we can do it safely and sustainably.

We do anal probably 85% of the time or more right now but sometimes she gets sore or doesn’t feel up to doing it and that’s when we do vaginal just as a backup but it isn’t what we like doing. But if we go anal only, what do we do in those situations?

We’ve noticed that when we have anal every day she stays more relaxed, does this mean she’s getting looser and will that cause any problems later?

Thanks for any advice you can give.

First of all, if you’re considering going anal only, I say go for it and give it a try. The best way to determine if it’s really for you is to just dive in and do it. Give yourself a month or two challenge to commit to it at first, and that will let you see what it’s really like and time to work out any particular issues. And then by the end of that trial period, decide if you want to extend it further, or just commit to it long term from there.

As for those times that soreness or preparation keep her from wanting to do anal, you’ll find as you shift to only doing anal that soreness generally goes away pretty quickly and as anal becomes something you do every time, her body will adjust to it and generally stop being sore even if it’s something you do daily. When she doesn’t feel well or has digestion issues that get in the way of doing anal, taking a break for a day or so to focus on oral instead can serve as a viable substitute instead of vaginal.

Her staying more relaxed when doing anal daily is actually what I was talking about above, and how it will keep her from getting sore as easily. Relaxed anal muscles don’t mean she’s getting loose, it just means she’s staying relaxed and warmed up due to more regularly using those muscles. It’s not a health concern, it’s actually keeping her safer by always being warmed up and ready for sex and so less prone to injury.

It sounds like you’re in the perfect place to shift to anal only, you just need to make that last jump now. Good luck!

Message: How to Find an Anal Only Girl?

Anonymous: So i am a guy. I have always been obsessed with anal sex since i was a toddler. It sounds weird but i can recall fantasies ive had since i was 3/4. But when I would always fantasize about sex, and when ever i thought about girls it would always be about the butt. I never knew what a vagina was until i was in the 5th grade. Yeah I know. I dont like penis, and vagina is nice, but i really really really have a insane obsession with a womans ass hole. I dont know why but a womans butt gets me going. Like somethings its so much if I havent jacked off I feel like breaking things and throwing chairs across the room. I dont know why im doing this but it feels good to let it out here and just say how I feel haha. I have never had anal sex sadly. I have fingered a butt, and eaten it out (i love ass) but never got to stick my penis in. All i want is a anal only type of girl. Any clue on how to find one?

It sounds like you need to find someone to experience anal with first, even if they aren’t anal only. And then once you see what it’s all about and start gaining some experience with it, see about going anal only with someone.

Unless someone already knows what they’re doing and loves anal, it’s unlikely they’ll go anal only with someone who isn’t experienced with it right from the start, but if you can show that you can do anal in a way that’s enjoyable and pleasurable for her too, and demonstrate how much better it is for the both of you, you might get to where a girl would go anal only with you.

Message: Anal Only Because of You

Anonymous: I just wanted you to know that I’m anal only because of you and I thought you’d want to hear that. I’ve been reading your blogs for years before I had sex and I started to masturbate my ass based on your advice and learned to ignore my pussy, and it did feel really good, and the idea of going anal only and staying a virgin in my pussy started to really turn me on. So that’s pretty much exactly what I did and I’ve still never had vaginal sex and I think it’s really hot, and so does my boyfriend. We’ve decided we’re never going to use my pussy.

Thanks for sharing, I always love hearing from people who I’ve helped inspire to go anal only, and even better if you’ve decided to stay a vaginal virgin and live a life of pure anal. I wish you the best and hope that you’re always able to stay that way!

Message: Hemorrhoids and Anal Sex

This message was translated via Google Translate.

Vildan: I am a hemorrhoid patient, would it prevent me from having anal sex?

Not necessarily, it depends on the nature of the hemorrhoids and the advice of your doctor. I am not a medical professional, and always recommend consulting with a doctor first when you have questions of this nature, but I will share that other people with hemorrhoids have reported that careful anal play and even anal sex can help them by keeping their anal muscles more stretched and relaxed and elastic, which reduces strain on the area and minimizes the risk of irritating the hemorrhoids.

You want to take care with your anal training and sex and really be gentle and careful to avoid that irritation, but it’s likely that you can enjoy anal if it’s what you want.

Message: Other Women Negative About My Preference For Anal

Anonymous: My experiences might be a little different, but in my personal experience, I got so much hate from most women for preferring anal as my own choice while most men either don’t care or don’t judge girls who prefer anal or are anal-only. It’s sad that they think girls like me love anal for male approval when it’s not the case. Anal sex is slowly becoming accepted by people who have positive and proper anal experience, even if it’s not for everyone, and that’s okay. Unfortunately, there are still people holding themselves back with anal myths and taboos that prevented them for wanting to give anal sex a try. Even on Twitter, I, a female, felt uncomfortable due to tons of hateful speech about non-vaginal sex.

The wise lesson says that vaginal sex is for getting babies, however, anal sex is for good and strong never-ending pleasure. Idk if there are girls that have the same thoughts as me, but I would love to talk about my love for anal in safe space without getting backlash.

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had negative interactions with other women about anal sex. I think that sort of reaction usually comes out of myths, as you noted, which are generally driven by bad experiences they have had or heard about from friends. Sometimes it becomes almost a meme where it gets passed around from friend to friend without anyone knowing where it even originated or how it started, but keeping people from trying anal for themselves as a result. There’s where more people being open and positive about anal and how good it actually is for them, and why, helps to slowly combat that problem and starts to create a positive meme about anal and puts the idea of it being a good, enjoyable, pleasurable thing into the social consciousness.

As far as a safe space for anal positivity and discussion, this community is certainly intended for that purpose—between the forum, the Discord server, and this blog, you are likely to interact with a lot of people who share an interest in and love of anal sex. If you aren’t already a member, I’d encourage joining in and talking with other people in the community.

Message: Been AO For Years, But Struggling With New Boyfriend

Anonymous: Hi, I hope you can help me with this because I’m at a loss of what to do.

I’ve been anal only since 2014, when my boyfriend at the time and I tried an anal only challenge and really enjoyed it and decided we would keep doing anal only afterwards. We were together another three years, then I hooked up with various guys for a while, all anal, and they all enjoyed that I was anal only and I never had any trouble with it. My last boyfriend came out of that and we were together the past two years before breaking up for other reasons.

I’m now seeing this new guy and I really, really like him, but he doesn’t want to just do anal and wants vaginal too. I really don’t want to have vaginal again and lose my 6 year anal only streak, but I’m afraid if I tell him how important staying anal only is to me, he won’t be interested in staying and will want to leave. What do I do?

Isn’t it interesting how so many women turn out to love and prefer anal and it’s often the guys they meet who are more closed to the idea and end up wanting to stick with vaginal? Obviously there are many guys who know better and also want anal only, but it just goes against the traditional myths and misconceptions about how it’s guys who prefer anal and women who don’t.

I strongly suggest being open and honest with the new guy. Presumably you’ve only done anal so far, since you haven’t lost your anal only streak yet, and he’s been hinting that he wants vaginal too? Talk to him about being anal only and that you don’t want to go back to vaginal, and that you much prefer anal and like doing only anal.

If he understands and goes along with it, great! If he has any concerns, talk them over with him and see what they are. Chances are you can avoid most of the issues and come up with a mutually satisfying result.

And if he doesn’t understand, then honestly he’s probably not a good fit for you. There’s more to a relationship than sex, but being sexually satisfied is a pretty fundamental component of a relationship for most people, and if being anal only is what you need, going into a relationship that you know won’t work for anal only and which you’ll have to often do sex that you don’t much enjoy, may not be sustainable long-term for you and may end up leading to frustration and resentment.