Category: Messages From Readers

A majority of the content on this blog is messages from readers, whether requests for advice, venting of frustrations, or shared stories and experiences. If you have your own question to ask or comment to share, send us a message.


Message: Anal 69

Anonymous: In college, I hard a darling sweet girlfriend. I got her interested in anal, but we never ass fucked. She was a tiny thing, and was unwilling. Had we been together longer, I do not doubt that ass fucking would have been a mainstay.

We ate each other’s ass a lot. I was infatuated with her asshole. Licking and tonguing was never enough, I needed to kiss it deeply, just like french kissing, while she sucked my cock.

Once we had been apart for a time, and when we got together we were both incredibly horny. Without any discussion, we each were soon eating each other’s assholes, and she had a beautiful one. It was so pleasurable, after a joyous 30 minutes or so, she brought me to an unforgettable orgasm. I dropped a massive load on her tummy, which excited her even more.

I have never heard anyone describe an anal 69 experience, and would love to hear from those of you who have. And if you haven’t tried it, you’ll love it.

Thanks for sharing your experience! It’s something I see discussed on occasion but not extremely often. It does sound very enjoyable and seems worth exploring for anyone who enjoys giving or receiving rimming.

Submission: How a Carnivore Diet Allowed Me to go Anal Only

Dear anal lovers, if you feel too much pain during anal, this might help.

I am a very happy slave to my Owner and we’ve been together for over 4 years now (I am 23). Since we met I tried to please him with my ass as much as possible, since he wanted to explore anal in many ways. But no matter how hard I tried, I ALWAYS felt more pain than I should.

I did everything, from relaxing to different forms of lube. And my Owner is extremely caring, patient and experienced. So we really did not understand what was wrong, since only about 10% of our attempts resulted in some “OK” anal sex. The other 90% of the time I felt BAD shivers and pain in my rectum, as if my rectum itself was hurt inside. My anus was ok on the outside, the problem was inside.

So after many years, due to a serious health issue, I had to do some deep research and talk to some specialists and discovered keto diet. After researching some more and trying keto for a while, which I did not enjoy at all, I started going full carnivore and my health issue (an auto immune problem) was gone.

But what we did not expect was that as soon as I went full carnivore, my rectum didn’t hurt anymore. It was like magic and trust me, we had been trying every month since we met, so the difference was huge. And I did not just stop feeling the awful shivers but all of a sudden I started REALLY loving the feeling of anal sex for the first time in my life, to the point that I was BEGGING him to fuck me in the ass instead of my pussy.

I used to be very sad because I couldn’t please him anally and now, after all this time, he decided (and I loved it) to be anal only for some time and see how we feel. It’s been a month and a half and we are LOVING it. I never thought this would be even possible and everything changed because of my diet.

So please, if you struggle with pain in your rectum during anal, consider changing your diet instead of just believing that plants and fibers are the solution for everything, because that is what was making me sick in the first place. Carnivore diet saved my life and also changed everything in my sex life for the best. Just keep your minds open and research a lot. I hope this helps you as it helped me.

Honey Doom

Message: How to Tell New Boyfriend I’m Anal Only? Pt. II

Anonymous: Hi! I wrote to you four weeks ago, I think. I’ve been taught about anal sex (and sex in general) by my very first boyfriend (we only did anal for the whole time, for a year and a half), then we broke up recently (not because of sex). I’m dating a new boyfriend, but I discovered that the idea of vaginal sex scared me (just him touching my pussy through my jeans gave me anxiety), and I didn’t know how to tell him I wanted to continue having anal sex only. Because of this, I only gave him blowjobs, but he was growing impatient for more, so I asked your advice, which you gave. You asked me to let you know how it went, so I’m writing back.

Just after I wrote to you, I thought I was an idiot: like I told you, my ex introduced me to anal sex by saying he was scared of pregnancy but didn’t want to use condoms or other contraceptives (I keep thinking it was an excuse to get me into anal, but whatever), so the solution appeared to me: I just had to use my ex’s excuses!

When I started explaining this to my boyfriend, I got very nervous about his reaction, I was afraid he’d think I’m a slut, so I added what you advised me to say: that I’d love to do anal and oral with him as often as he wants, and that he can have anal sex with me all the time and cum in my ass without any fear of pregnancy.

I was scared he’d reject me, but he smiled broadly, said he didn’t expect this at all from me or my ex (they’re good friends), then he hugged and kissed me, caressing my ass. It was a huge relief to feel his hands on my ass and not my pussy: you have to know I chose not to experience sex by myself, I wanted to discover it romantically with a boyfriend, and my ex never touched my pussy, so my genitals basically never received any sort attention.

We made love right away, and it went well. My boyfriend’s bigger than my ex, and he’s much rougher when he fucks, but it didn’t cause me any trouble, my ass adjusted very well to him. At one point, I felt that I was a little dry, so I did what my ex taught me to do: I pulled out, then I sucked his cock to lube it up with saliva. This drove my boyfriend crazy: he swore loudly, then grabbed my head firmly and started fucking my throat while calling me names, then he came with a lot of cum down my throat. It’s a good thing my ex taught me how to handle this (he did it pretty often), or I would have choked for sure.

He later apologized, he said that me sucking his cock after it’s been in my ass caught him off guard. This surprised me, since my ex told me any guy into anal sex would expect this, that it was just normal behaviour.

Anyway, we’ve been having sex very regularly since, and everything is going well. My boyfriend explains much less things than my ex, he’s not licking my ass at all, and he’s always fucking me doggy style, but I really enjoy sex with him.

Yesterday, though, he surprised me. He told me he talked a lot with my ex since we started having sex, that they shared their experiences, and it brought them a lot closer. Then, he asked me if I’d be OK with a threesome.

Like I said, I’m a romantic, so I was a bit shocked, I didn’t know what to say. He said he’d let me think about it. On one hand, I’m still shocked: I’m his girlfriend, and I’ve only had two lovers so far, so getting into threesomes now somehow hurts my values. But on the other, we’re all quite close, and I really loved sex with my ex. Besides, my boyfriend is less experienced than my ex, so maybe a threesome would teach him a few things. And finally, I’m not comfortable with the idea of saying “no” to my boyfriend: after all he’s my boyfriend, and I told him what you advised me to say, that he could do anal and oral with me as often as he wants – what if he’s disappointed?

What do you think I should do? I’m confused.

My boyfriend told me that if I’m OK with it, they could try double penetration. Do you have any advice?

I’m glad to hear that things worked out well for you and that your new boyfriend accepted you being anal only. It’s great that you’re able to enjoy anal and oral sex together without having to worry about him trying or wanting vaginal sex, and I’m sure he’s very happy with the arrangement as well!

As for a threesome, it really comes down to whether you want it or not. It sounds like part of you does while another part does not. I can’t really tell you what you should do in that case, you’ll have to reconcile the two halves of yourself and decide what will be best for you. Will having sex with your ex boyfriend along with your new boyfriend ultimately cause tension in your relationship, or will it bring you all closer together? Do you want to explore multiple partners or do you strictly want to stick to one partner at a time? Sex with multiple partners can be a lot of fun for some people, while other people don’t like it. And while some of that may come down to experimenting and figuring out whether you’ll actually enjoy it or not, some people just aren’t interested in even starting, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

When you boyfriend suggested the three of you try double penetration, what specifically is he referring to? If he means they can have anal and oral sex with you at the same time, that can definitely be something fun to try. If he means they can have double anal sex where they both penetrate your anus together simultaneously, that’s definitely a more advanced activity but a lot of women love how it feels and say it’s much more intense than just regular anal. But, if he’s suggesting one of them penetrate your anus and the other your vagina, then that wouldn’t be anal only and I wouldn’t suggest doing that nor would I expect that you want it. If that’s what he means, I’d say you aren’t interested in double penetration.

Hope that helps, and I’m sure we’ll all be interested in hearing what you decide to do and how things progress! Good luck.

Message: My No Pussy November Goals

Ann: I will be doing No Pussy November with my husband, and our goal is to not have vaginal sex or for me to have any clit stimulation. We want to use this month to try it and see if we can make it work full time, and if we can, we plan to stay anal only.

We both prefer anal but have continued doing vaginal at times when anal has been harder to do or required more work and we were lazy and we want to stop accepting that as an excuse.

Glad to hear that you’re taking part! I hope that you have a great time with it and are able to establish an anal only routine that keeps you from feeling the need to return to vaginal sex.

Frequent plug wear, a good diet/hygiene routine, and having anal sex regularly can very much minimize most needs for preparation, and makes anal only a lot more feasible.

Message: How to Make Girlfriend Obsessed With Ass to Mouth

Anonymous: I have been blessed with a submissive girlfriend who loves anal and does not mind giving me a blowjob afterwards. We have however not done that much talking about it in bed; my penis sometimes changes from her ass to her mouth, no mention of where it has been before.

During our play session last night I put that into words; “you are doing ass-to-mouth”. We both agreed that it was incredibly hot so I want to continue exploring that path with her. I want to see if I can make her obsessed with doing ass to mouth. To the point of her not cleaning my dick after anal sex would be a punishment. Having her beg me to fuck her just so she can taste it.

Do you have any suggestions for how to ‘train’ or influence her?

Thank you for a wonderfully inspiring community and the work you put into it.

I’d suggest just making it a regular habit, talking about it more overtly, and starting to phrase it as being a reward or treat for her. Especially if she really enjoys this additional focus of calling attention to it, it will very likely boost her arousal and build the association of always doing ass to mouth so that not doing it would be abnormal for her.

Message: Our Anal Only Life

Anonymous: My fiancĂ© and I decided to be anal only when we first started dating because we wanted to be free to be sexual together and enjoy ourselves but I’d had really bad experiences with birth control before and we know we can’t afford to have a child at this time in our lives nor are we sure about raising children in this world. Anal only lets us be a complete and sexual couple with intimacy and have an awesome sex life but we don’t ever have to worry at all about getting pregnant or risking our futures.

I’ve seen you make similar comments and I wanted to share that it’s been very good for us in that way. In times like this where so many of us are trying to make our way in the world with very little resources it just makes sense to be anal only.

Thanks so much for sharing! I think there are a lot of good reasons to be anal only (including just “I like anal and want to do it all the time”!) but I completely agree that with the growing uncertainty in the world, difficulty for many people to support a family, and massive overpopulation, being anal only makes a lot of sense when it comes to the sense of security it provides with its inherent natural birth control.

And there’s a lot to be said for that. Other forms of birth control are expensive, have side effects, and can in some cases really make sex worse. Anal makes sex better, boosts arousal, and gives you the confidence to have as much sex as you want without risk of pregnancy ever being a part of it.

I encourage going anal only for anyone that wants a free, positive sex life without any involvement of procreation. It just makes sense.

Message: Infection Scare

Anonymous: I have an uncircumcised penis of length 5.6″ and will it be ok for anal sex ? will analingus, anal penetration, cunnilingus and felatio go one after the other during sex and which lubricant is best for anal sex?

Circumcised and uncircumcised penises are both fine for anal sex, and you just need to wash after sex and urinate.

The order of sexual activities is largely up to you and your partner and what you both want, though you shouldn’t have vaginal sex after anal sex without cleaning first.

As for lubricants, we have a Guide to Anal Lubricants that you can read through.

Message: How to Stop Wanting Vaginal

Jadou: I am a vaginal virgin and I wish to remain so. I have been training for several months alone and I have found a man since June with whom I only do anal. I like it a lot but the problem is that in order to cum I need to touch my clit. And when I do that, the urge to be penetrated by the vagina is strong. how can I stop having this rather frustrating urge which prevents me from fully appreciating my man? Sometimes i wish i didn’t have a vagina at all….

Congratulations on the decision to remain a vaginal virgin and on finding a partner to explore anal only together with!

Clit stimulation can come with a lot of unfortunate side effects, and that urge and association with vaginal penetration can be one of them for some women. I would suggest gradually reducing or phasing out clit stimulation at least for a while and see if you can instead learn to orgasm purely from anal penetration, which is not only a better orgasm for many women, it doesn’t typically have those same associations or side effects of clit orgasms.

It could also help to put tape over your vagina, or use a numbing cream like orajel to reduce sensation and urges for clit stimulation or vaginal penetration, at least while first working to move away from those urges.

It also can help just to get deeper into the mindset of being anal only and a vaginal virgin and your strong desire to remain as such and how you’d regret it if you gave into those urges. Try to remind yourself of that when you feel the urges, and also when you aren’t feeling the urges it can help to repeat to yourself how much you love being an anal only vaginal virgin and don’t want to have vaginal sex. Consciously you already know this, but it can help your subconscious with the urges.

Hope that this helps you, and please let us know how it goes!

Message: Receiving Anal as a Straight Man

Anonymous: What are your thoughts on straight men who enjoy receptive anal? I’m asking since it seems more stigmatized than anal with women or non-straight men.

I think that anal sex, anal play, and the anal only lifestyle can be enjoyed by and is open to everyone. Personally, my primary interest is in women who make the conscious decision to not have vaginal sex in favor of anal only, and that influences the content here to some degree, but you’ll find that within the broader community there are a wide variety of male and female cis- and transgender people who enjoy and embrace the anal only lifestyle.

Message: How to Tell New Boyfriend I’m Anal Only?

Anonymous: Hi! I’m 21, and I started my sexuality about one year and a half ago with an experienced boyfriend who taught me everything I know about sex.

Back then, when we started talking about doing it, he told me he was paranoid about unwanted pregnancy and didn’t trust condoms, so he suggested we do anal sex. I wasn’t against anal, but I didn’t want that as my first sexual experience. I offered alternatives like taking the pill, but every time, he would find some reason to decline and go back to his suggestion to only do anal, which led me to believe he was just finding excuses.

For four weeks, we only did hugging, kissing, caressing each other and oral sex. He patiently taught me how to give good blowjobs, and he would lick my anus. Little by little, he would massage my anus with his fingers and penetrate it a bit. Eventually, I gave up, and agreed to do anal sex.

I must say he was really nice and good at it: he bought me an enema pear and taught me how to use it (he even gave me a few enemas, it was humiliating but it was also hot somehow, and he gave good advice), he told me which diet I should follow, he advised me to masturbate only my ass when we couldn’t see each other, he explained the right postures and attitudes I should take during sex, and he went very slow on my ass, using only his fingers for the first sessions. Eventually, it was me who begged him to fuck my ass with his cock, and I had a lot of pleasure right away.

During all this time, we only did anal, and he discouraged me to touch my clit or vagina, telling me it would spoil the pleasure I got during sex. Anal just became an everyday normal thing, and eventually, I could take him easily and casually.

Our relationship eventually ended (not because of sex), and I got a new boyfriend, a good friend of his actually. But the problem is, the idea of vaginal sex now doesn’t appeal to me and actually terrifies me, I’d really like to resume the sexuality I’ve been following so far. I don’t know how to announce it to my new boyfriend without sounding like a complete slut, I only found excuses so far to avoid penetration, but he’s getting impatient, and is tired of me only giving him blowjobs, no matter how good they are.

What should I do? Should I open up to the idea of vaginal sex? In what way and with what words should I tell him I’d like anal penetration only? Thanks for your help.

Thanks for sharing your experiences, it sounds like you had an excellent introduction to anal sex and the anal only lifestyle with your ex-boyfriend, and he helped you see the benefits of being anal only and staying a vaginal virgin. It also sounds like that’s what you really want now, and if that’s the case, then I encourage sticking up for your desires and staying anal only!

As for how to tell your new boyfriend, just talk to him. Be honest. Communication is an important part of any relationship, and this is an important thing to communicate about. Tell him that you’d love to start having sex with him but that you’re an anal only girl and while you don’t want to do vaginal sex, you’d love to do anal and oral with him as often as he wants. If he’s like most guys, he’ll come around to the idea pretty quickly once he realizes he really can have anal sex with you all the time and cum in your ass without any fear of pregnancy.

I hope that helps, and please let us know how it goes!