Category: Messages From Readers

A majority of the content on this blog is messages from readers, whether requests for advice, venting of frustrations, or shared stories and experiences. If you have your own question to ask or comment to share, send us a message.


Message: How Do I Stop Clit Stimulation?

Jenny32: I have been doing anal only with my boyfriend for the past couple years and I found switching from vaginal to anal to be easy, it feels better and it turns us on more and I love that he can cum in me every day and I don’t have to be on birth control. It’s been wonderful! But I admit I am still really reliant on my clitoris and my boyfriend has told me that he’d like it if I could stop rubbing myself and be totally anal only. I’d like that too, but I am not sure how to do it because it is a lot harder for me to stop. Any advice?

I’m really glad to hear that you’ve been having a great time since going anal only, and I hope that you continue to enjoy it long term. It sounds like the perfect time to give up clit stimulation and commit to pure anal only going forward, which will further strengthen and deepen your commitment to the anal only lifestyle.

First, remember that it’s a process and failure is often part of any process of learning or mastering something. If you go back to clit stimulation at some point, don’t give up, just start again with not using it.

Establishing a challenge to go a week without clit stimulation can be a good way to start, and ease into it without worrying longer term just yet. Once you make it a week, try extending it another week, then to a full month, and just keep going from there.

If you end up giving in to clit stimulation, try setting your next challenge to be longer than your previous success and keep building on your past experiences from there! Before you know it, you’ll be clit free for good.

You might also try numbing creams like Orajel on your clit, which temporarily remove sensation and can be applied before sex to aid in giving up touching yourself. Also check out the page on our Guide about clitoral denial, which covers this topic in more detail!

Good luck! I’m sure you can do this!

Don’t Hesitate to Reach Out!

A major part of this blog is interaction with its visitors and readers, and while there is a large wealth of information already available for reading and learning from, I always encourage reaching out and asking questions or sharing your stories, or commenting on existing posts with additional information and context!

The more people send in content, the more we can stay actively posting on a regular schedule and helping everyone achieve the anal only lifestyle they deserve!

Message: Mostly Anal Only

This post was cross-posted from our Bdsmlr page.

Anonymous: just had to share a recent victory… I’m not AO but have been doing near-daily training over the past 5 months, sleeping plugged most nights, stretching my ass to take bigger and bigger toys, and my partner and I are having anal sex probably 80% of the time. I realized recently that I can now fit bigger toys in my ass than I can in my pussy – the largest toy I’m training with won’t even fit in my pussy. Thank you for being an inspiration – I’ve followed you for years, on tumblr and now here!

Congratulations, and thanks for sharing! If you’re anal mostly at this point, I’d encourage trying to go all in with anal only, at least for a month or two to start and see how things go from there. It sounds like you much prefer anal anyway, and committing to anal only can be the next great step for you!

Message: Better With Anal Only

This post has been cross-posted from our Bdsmlr page.

two-hole-slut: Not a question, I just needed to share… My Sir has taken away my cunt. I thought I needed it to squirt, but I don’t. I squirt so much more and so much harder when I’m stretching and fucking my arse.

Congratulations, that’s excellent to hear! Everybody’s a bit different, but in general, going anal only makes everything else more intense and pleasurable in the long term. Even if it’s hard at first, it’s worth doing.

Message: Clit Denial is Better

Annie: I am having an argument with my friend, she says it’s important for a girl to use her clit to cum and I say it’s bad and girls shouldn’t use their clits and it’s better to only do anal. How can I show her that it’s true?

You’re both right and both wrong, to some extent. Every girl is different and has different needs, and it’s important to recognize and respect that. For some girls, clit stimulation is a need. For others, anal only without clit stimulation is better.

Some women struggle to orgasm without clit stimulation. If clit stimulation helps them to be anal only otherwise, isn’t that still a better option? It works for them and they enjoy it and everything is great.

Some women get more negative side effects from clit stimulation and lose their arousal and desire for sex if they use their clit, and so it’s often better for them to stick with pure anal only and no clit stimulation so they don’t crash post-orgasm as can so often happen.

Once a woman firmly establishes an anal only routine even if it includes clit stimulation, experimenting later with clit denial can be a good option as well!

Message: Heterosexuality and Vaginal Disinterest

Joe: I am a straight man who is and has only ever been into women my whole life but I have always thought vaginas were a turn off and never liked the idea of vaginal sex. Some of my partners made me feel bad and wrong for this or said I was gay because I only wanted anal. But I am not interested in men, I just love anal sex with women.

Why do we think sexuality has to do with genitals rather than with sex and gender? I am attracted to women, I just prefer anal sex rather than vaginal sex and will not do vaginal because anal is more natural for me and what I love.

My friends prefer anal too but are afraid to go anal only because they think they will also be called gay if they stop having vaginal sex. It is wrong that we are forced to do something unnatural to us and it is equated to being unnatural in a different way if we don’t.

For the most part, this comes from the fact that people’s genitals are an intimate part of their body and often associated not only with sex for them, but also come with various insecurities. When someone is not interested in having vaginal sex with them and only wants anal, it can feel like a rejection of their genitals which can trigger those insecurities and result in them lashing out.

It’s important to express your needs and preferences in a manner which shows them that you aren’t putting them down, you just find their ass and anal sex with them to be so sexy, and that there isn’t anything wrong with their vagina, you just prefer anal. Make them feel hot and sexy to be doing anal with you and they’ll be much more open to it.

Message: Anal Only Because Vaginal Hurts

Bruce: My wife has abandoned vaginal sex as she now finds it hurts to fit my cock in there but finds anal is fine so when we fuck its now only in her ass is this a common problem as its usually the other way around

It’s surprisingly more common than people think, and anal is easier for a lot of women who experience discomfort or pain from vaginal. Going anal only is a common solution to this and makes perfect sense. Of course, with practice, going anal only can be a better experience for everyone—some are just naturally better suited to it without needing much practice.

Message: No Pussy November Was an Eye Opener

Anonymous: My husband and I have done a lot of anal before, even preferring it most of the time, but I always insisted on keeping vaginal in the mix because I thought it was important to do, it was part of me and what made me a woman and I needed to keep doing it. But this year we decided to try No Pussy November and I’m realizing that I don’t need my pussy and I don’t enjoy vaginal, I just do it out of a sense of obligation to someone else’s idea of what it is to be a woman. I want to be anal only, and we’ve decided that we’re not going to be doing vaginal ever again.

I’m so glad to hear that No Pussy November was not only a great success for you but that it helped you to come to this realization! Enjoy a much more satisfying and pleasurable life going forward anal only!

Message: Struggled With Identity Before Discovering Anal Only

Anonymous: Hey, I really want to thank you for this blog. All my life I’ve had struggles with my identity and whether or not I was a real woman. I often thought of myself as different or maybe as a man and thought perhaps I was transgender, embracing that identity for a while. But the reality is that a lot of that confusion came out of being uninterested in vaginal sex and finding it a total turn off while I loved playing with my ass and then having anal sex.

After I found this blog and community I realized there are lots of women who prefer anal or who are anal only and that it doesn’t make them less of a woman and knowing that has helped me with my own identity and I am happy to say that I am proud to identify as an anal only woman now and will not use my vagina and that will not make me any less of a woman. Thank you.

I’m glad that my blog has helped you come to terms with your identity, and I hope that you find peace in embracing being an anal only woman. Whatever your gender identity, I think anal only can be enjoyed and embraced by and benefit everyone! Let’s move forward together without vaginal sex and be more equal as a result!

Message: Vaginal Abandonment and Orgasm Denial

Anonymous: So, I’ve followed this site for a while. I’m a female. I get super turned on at the thought of vaginal abandonment and orgasm denial. However, the vaginal abandonment term is not something I hear or read about often. Wondering why that is? I’ll be discussing this with my partner and I am unsure of how he will feel about it. He comes from a fairly conservative culture. So it’s something I’ll need to bring up lightly initially. At any rate I’ve tried finding good resources such as other blogs or articles and even testimonials about specific vaginal abandonment and why it’s done. Not sure if I’m making sense. Perhaps it’s just a terminology issue and I’m missing the point. I dunno.

“Vaginal abandonment” is used interchangeably with “anal only”, and the latter is catchier and easier to use so is more common. But they generally mean the same thing. The end result is avoiding use of your vagina and having anal sex in its place.

There are lots of resources on the topic here, but outside of this community it’s less commonly discussed. If you have any other specific questions or advice wanted, feel free to ask! And let us know how it goes when you discuss it with your partner—I hope for your sake that he agrees to go anal only with you!