Category: Messages From Readers

A majority of the content on this blog is messages from readers, whether requests for advice, venting of frustrations, or shared stories and experiences. If you have your own question to ask or comment to share, send us a message.


Message: Top 3 Reasons for Anal Only?

Mrk: Can you give the top 3 reasons for men and 3 for women for joining the AO lifestyle?

I can’t speak for everyone, so I can’t say these are the top three, but here are a few reasons.

For Men

  • It’s a tighter, grippier sensation than vaginal, and a lot of men enjoy how it feels more.
  • It’s more visually appealing, and vaginas look better empty while anuses look better and sexier filled.
  • You can have sex much deeper than with vaginal.
  • Men like butts and the idea of having sex with them is pretty inherently appealing to many.
  • It’s easy to get quickly bored with vaginal sex, but anal sex doesn’t get boring in the same way and inspires arousal and excitement for a lifetime in comparison.
  • It allows a deeper, more intimate connection.
  • It’s different and less common, and the idea of fully replacing vaginal sex with anal and abandoning the vagina completely can be very exciting.
  • There’s very little risk of getting pregnant compared to vaginal.

For Women

  • Anal is a more intense sensation than vaginal, which can often be fairly bland in comparison. The feeling of being filled is also much more intense.
  • Anal orgasms are also more intense, and in many cases easier to achieve than vaginal orgasms. Anal orgasms without clitoral stimulation also don’t have the post-orgasm low that often comes from clit orgasms.
  • For those who enjoy feeling submissive, the idea of giving up one’s vagina for pure anal penetration only can feel like a very submissive act. However, for those who aren’t into dominance/submission play, anal and the anal only lifestyle can be enjoyed on their own merits as well.
  • Just as for men, being anal only can be an extremely intimate act, far more than vaginal.
  • It’s natural birth control without the negative effects of artificial hormonal birth control, allowing pleasure and sexuality without the baggage of pregnancy risk.

Message: Am I Normal?

Annabee: So I stumbled upon your blog. it has opening me up to a new world. When I was preteen-teen I touch my clit and it felt kinda good. but once I was 16 it started feeling awkward. so never really masturbated that much. when I did with my clit it just felt weird in a way that made me not want to touch myself. almost depressed so I just didn’t masturbate that much and I really only did cuz I thought it was weird that all my friends were talking about how great it felt and I was the complete opposite I thought I was weird. fast forward to now I’m 30 and happy to say a vaginal Virgin I just found your blog and I thought I’d give anal a try so I bought a toy and some warming lube. I’ve tried a few times but haven’t been able to orgasm yet. One thing I do love seeing and doing is ride my dildo and watch my close pussy in the mirror but Just thought I would share my story and also see if you had any suggestions to help me orgasm from just anal.

Thanks for sharing, and I’m glad that you have found the blog helpful and inspirational.

Regarding anal only orgasms, you can try some of the tips in this article on the subject. It can take some time for some people to get to the point where anal orgasms are easy, but it’s well worth it once you get there. Some also find it easier with a partner but more difficult when just masturbating.

If you don’t like clitoral stimulation, you may not prefer to go down this path, but some like or prefer combining clitoral stimulation with anal penetration.

Good luck! The more you explore anal, the more you’re going to love it.

Message: So Good to Feel Normal

Anonymous: I am so happy this blog exists because for many years I felt like I was such a freak for thinking the things you and others post about on this blog.

I have never had vaginal sex with a girl, because it doesn’t interest me or appeal to me at all, and I never will. I’ve only ever fucked girls in the ass. It’s been hard, though, and lots of girls act like I’m some kind of freak for wanting this.

I truly think anal sex is the only way anyone should have sex, and that vaginal sex is not just inferior, it’s wrong and shouldn’t be done at all. There are so many reasons, it doesn’t feel as good, it isn’t intimate in the same way as anal, it totally ruins a woman’s arousal and mood, and it’s just so unappealing. Anal is natural, vaginal isn’t.

Even though it took a while, I have an anal only girlfriend who believes the same as me and is completely anal only like me. We’ve been together for about a year now and things couldn’t be better. We don’t use her pussy or clit at all and neither of us ever want to. So I’m really glad your blog helped me feel normal and like I could ask girls again about an anal only relationship.

Always remember there really isn’t any such thing as “normal” when it comes to sexual preference. Anal only may be less common, but it’s totally normal and there’s nothing at all wrong with it. All that matters is that you’re happy and that you find a partner who shares your interests and preferences.

I’m very happy to hear that you have found just that, and it sounds like you’re perfect for each other. Enjoy your anal only life together.

Message: I Love Anal

Anonymous: I found this blog by accident really, but I started reading it and kind of got hooked. I didn’t know anal only was a thing, but it totally makes sense. I love anal so much, I have pretty much since the first time I tried it. It kind of hurt that first time, but it felt so amazing I just kept going anyway and had my first orgasm from penetration without using my clit as a result, and I’ve never stopped doing anal since then. I hadn’t really thought about it that much before, but I’ve definitely been anal only for almost a year before when I had a boyfriend who loved anal as much as I do and that’s all we did, but it just sort of happened that way, we didn’t talk about it or decide to do it.

But now that I’m seeing that it’s a thing people choose to do, it has me really thinking about doing it again, this time on purpose. The idea is really interesting and exciting to me, actually, so I think I’m going to look for a new boyfriend who prefers anal and propose that we go anal only. I’m really looking forward to only having my ass fucked again!

Thanks for sharing, and glad to be able to help inspire you to go anal only (again)!

Message: Porn’s Influence on Anal

When I was growing up, I watched a lot of porn and really enjoyed watching anal more than anything, so that’s what I wanted to do myself too. When I first started having sex, the boys I dated were willing to do whatever I wanted but what they really wanted most was anal. They had also been introduced to it through porn and thought it was really hot, so they wanted to try it, or if they had already tried it, it was usually what they preferred.

Do you think porn is influencing people towards doing more anal or just exposing and introducing them to the idea and getting them to try it? I think it’s maybe a little of both, and I actually think it’s a good thing because I don’t know if I would have learned just how much I prefer anal if I hadn’t been inspired to try it and had boys who wanted to do it too.

I actually only did anal for the first three years I was having sex and looking back on it, those were some of the best years of my sex life so far. When I went to college I lost my vaginal virginity and had sex every way for a while and it was nice for a while but I didn’t love vaginal like I love anal and I found myself longing to go back to just anal, so last year I decided to go back to anal only after I found your blog and I’ve been much happier with sex since. I don’t know about other people but it really is the best thing for me.

I agree with you that it’s a mix of both things with porn: it’s introducing a lot more people to the idea in general through exposure but it’s also helping to normalize anal and not treat it as some strange thing you might want to try once or twice or on rare occasions but that it’s a normal activity people should be enjoying frequently. Those are positive things.

The only negative side I see is that it can give somewhat unrealistic expectations of getting started with and preparing for anal and generally leaves out the necessary preparation, lubrication and warmup that happens in the real world, and can lead to some people wanting to try it and rushing into it, resulting in a painful experience that discourages them from trying again.

The other issue that arises as it transitions to be more normalized but isn’t universally there for everyone yet is a matter of consent and mutual desire. If one partner very much wants and expects it and the other doesn’t or is unprepared for the idea, they can end up pressured into doing something they aren’t ready for. Such things should always be discussed and explored together before starting to make sure everyone is on board with the idea and interested in trying it together.

Message: Luring a BDSM Newbie Into AO, Part 2

Anonymous: Thanks for the answer! Just to make it clear I didn’t mean “lure” as in “trick”, it was more like “convincing in a challenging an exciting way” and making her feel “part of something” (she already know about my other subs and is okay with that, it’s a whole new world for her and she’s the one who came to me proposing to give anything a try). My fault for not having English as a mother tongue!

Fair enough. So long as she’s consenting and open to and eager about the process and everything involved, then that’s great.

I think focusing primarily on anal is a great idea, and only doing vaginal on rare occasions if she is particularly desperate for it, and reducing the frequency of vaginal over time. Ultimately it all comes down to how she does with just anal and whether she really needs vaginal or does just fine with clit stimulation + anal, etc. If she doesn’t actually need vaginal penetration and enjoys frequent anal, there may not be much reason to continue with vaginal at all.

Everyone is different, so there isn’t any universal answer that works best for everyone. Find something that works for the two of you and work from there.

Message: Anal Only Porn Directors?

Anonymous: Hey with all this talk on anal only porn stars, what about directors and other content creators? Are there any that are anal only leaning or at least professing some anal only liking, but just making pussy content for job security?

Giorgio Grandi comes to mind as one of the biggest anal-preferring porn producers who predominantly makes anal only porn. He does include vaginal penetration at times in some scenes, but has one of the biggest portfolios of pure anal only scenes out there, and tends to only add vaginal as a secondary act as part of double or triple penetration during an existing act of anal sex, which is always the primary act in his films.

Mike Adriano also focuses nearly exclusively on anal sex in his scenes and while there is the occasional vaginal penetration it’s quite uncommon and rarely lasts long. He’s a self-professed ass addict and clearly doesn’t have much interest in or preference for pussy.

Jay Sin similarly focuses almost entirely on anal.

Message: Luring a BDSM Newbie Into AO

Anonymous: I am training this young BDSM newbie (she’s 19 and submissive) and she never done anal before, but is willing to give it to me. She’s already sending me a lot of buttspread nudes as I request, so she’s very open and obedient to it. She had two boyfriends before and they were the nerd-beta type and she hated that, wants “someone who can control me not the other way around”. So my goal is: I’m planning to turn her into an AO slave, but maybe not right at the beginning, not to shock her too much. I thought about reversing the typical scenario, fucking her only in the ass 3 or 4 times we meet, then giving her a mixed pussy/assfuck as a “reward” at the following encounter. For how long should I do this before saying AO is a requirement to keep seeing me? What are your thoughts and advices? Also I thought about still letting her be licked on her pussy by other sub girl(s) that I eventually bring into our relationship.

If your intent is to demand strict AO from her, you should be pretty open with her about the fact that you are only interested in anal from the beginning. While a gradual introduction is fine, unless you’re exploring together and seeing where things go together without a clear destination in mind, you should be up front with your intentions rather than trying to “lure” or “trick” her and then demanding anal only from her or you leave her.

Even if she’s submissive, she’s still a person and gets to make decisions too.

Message: Did I Cum?

Hi there.

While not anal only my dominant partner controls my sexual experience including when and how I orgasm. Generally speaking he does not allow me to orgasm often – in fact I have only been granted five orgasms in seven months!

He recently told me tho that I may cum freely from anal masturbation. I have been enjoying my effort. It feels fabulous to fuck my ass with my fingers and my dildo. When I do do my pussy gets so wet – it almost continuously flows with periodic spurts that feel great. I usually stop only because I feel overwhelmed or exhausted but not because I really feel done or sated.

Now I don’t think of what is happening as an orgasm. It doesn’t feel like an orgasm. It feels good. Sublime. And it does relieve pressure. But I’ve been comparing it more to a man getting his prostate milked than to an orgasm.

Reading your blog tho I see you often refer to anal orgasms as feeling different, leaving the woman still feeling aroused rather than sated. So my question to you is what I’m having an anal orgasm and because it is so different from a clit or pussy orgasm that I’m just not recognizing it as such? Or do others also experience the same mind boggling non orgasm milking that I’m describing and do they distinguish it from an anal orgasm?

Thank you!
DS Quean

Hi!

While different people have different experiences, anal orgasms do generally still act as a climax with strong muscle contractions, etc. While they often won’t eliminate your arousal in the same way a clitoral orgasm might, they can reduce it somewhat and you can still feel satisfied afterwards often even though you might want to keep going. (For some women, the opposite might be true and an anal orgasm can be more like a ruined orgasm instead, but that seems less common.)

I’ve heard the comparison between clitoral and anal orgasms as the difference between an orgasm concentrated right in the clit and a full body orgasm.

I suspect that while you might be experiencing a state that could lead to orgasm, your comparison to prostate milking might be more accurate—very pleasurable, but not a climax.

I welcome other people’s opinions on this as well, however!

Message: Anal Only Beyond Cis-Women

slut_wannabe: How would you feel about expanding the AO movement to encompass those who are not cis-women?

I am a pansexual (technically) male who desires to be receptive anal only.

I believe that ALL people, whatever gender they are should primarily practice receptive anal sex, whether it is with penises, other body parts, or toys/tools. Oral sex is fine as well, but vaginal sex should best be limited to actual breeding attempts only.

This, I believe, would eliminate most sexual hangups, encourage a much broader exploration of sexuality and erotic pleasure, and be the basis of true sexual equality.

What do you think?

The anal only lifestyle is open and applicable to everyone who wishes to be a part of it, and many different people identify as anal only. Not everyone who does so is receptively anal only, but there certainly are people with all assortments of genitals who choose to forego them in favor of being anal only. There are plenty of others who are only interested in being anal only as the penetrator, however, and they serve just as important a role in the anal only lifestyle!