Category: Messages From Readers

A majority of the content on this blog is messages from readers, whether requests for advice, venting of frustrations, or shared stories and experiences. If you have your own question to ask or comment to share, send us a message.


Message: Ruined Orgasms

Anonymous: Years ago, to torture myself i used to have ruined orgasms, everyone has their opinion but i think that for you to be anal only you can’t cum at all. So i would play with my clit and when i was almost there, i would stop. I enjoyed doing that cause it was a HUGE torture. Do you recommend ruining orgasms or not touching the pussy at all?

It really comes down to personal preference and what works best for you. For many, the goal of clit denial with anal only is avoiding the distraction of an easier form of orgasm so they can learn to have anal orgasms instead, and so it makes sense to end clit stimulation as a result.

However, for others who prefer anal penetration but need clit stimulation or clit orgasms to stay focused on and committed to the anal only lifestyle, edging, ruined orgasms, or clit orgasms in combination with anal can work well for them.

If your goal is to avoid anything vaginal or clitoral, then I suggest not touching it at all and focusing purely on anal stimulation and penetration.

Bdsmlr: Going Anal Only as a Vaginal Virgin

We received this message through our Bdsmlr blog, and it’s being replicated here to be viewed by a wider audience.

Anonymous: Firstly I’m a virgin and only done oral. When masturbating I find vaginal penetration painful and not pleasurable compared to anal. Any suggestions on working on anal only by myself and then bringing it up to a future s/o?

Thanks for reaching out! I definitely recommend going anal only and am confident you will find it much more satisfying than vaginal.

A good way to begin is to simply stop vaginal penetration, which it sounds like something that should be easy for you if you find vaginal painful and not pleasurable anyway, and switch your masturbation routine to always include anal penetration, whether with fingers, a butt plug, or a dildo. Working to the point that you can use a life-size dildo regularly will ensure that you’re ready for anal sex when with a partner in the future.

As for bringing it up to a partner, it’s best to just be honest early on in a relationship. If you’re going to have sex soon, tell them that you’re anal only and have no interest in doing vaginal but would love to do anal and oral often. Many guys will be perfectly happy with that. And if someone isn’t, then he won’t be compatible with you anyway and it’s best to learn that early on.

For more information on these topics and others, the Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle goes into more detail, but also please feel free to follow up with more questions or updates if you have any!

Message: The Biological Origins of Anal Only

Anonymous: Hi, this web inspired me, and I thought about anal sex nature some time.

Can we consider prehistoric rectum (that consisted of reproductive and digestive way) cloaca as ancestor of anus? It had 99% match with anus, if we don’t count inner reproductive ways of course.

From anthropogenesis we know, that vagina was divided from this opening and evolved in single hole for making kids. When itself vagina was created, those animal ancestors didn’t promptly stopped using old way, instinct was still here. People also really never stopped. So it happened that during this long time both holes were developing separately. Vagina was used for big need in fast increasing of population, and never got qualities of anus (that are described on the blog), which received best properties for love making.

To proof that, we can see many species of mammals are often using other hole, even more primitive ones. Also we can see that unused parts or their features, like male nipples, did not disappear, while that ass was used, and very frequently.

This can be answer to why anal sex is more more pleasant and better adapted for recreational sex, and why vagina seems not right hole in comparison with anus for some people.

A very interesting hypothesis that makes a lot of sense and would explain why anal sex has so much more appeal and pleasure than vaginal even still after all this time!

Message: How Do I Get My Male Partner Interested in Anal Play?

Brook: For two years of our relationship he has been vocally anti anal… in the process of moving in together he saw my plugs and has made a passing comment about fucking me while I am wearing one.
How to I encourage this interest and hopefully convince him to eventually fuck my ass?

Ease him into it. He’s already gone from being completely anti-anal to expressing an interest in vaginal sex while you’re wearing a plug, so that’s progress.

Surprise him with one of your plugs in your ass when you have sex, and just leave it in during sex. If he enjoys it, make it a normal thing. When you have sex, put a plug in.

After a while of that becoming normal, try talking to him about it again and see if he’s interested in trying anything else, like fingering your ass or using a dildo in it during sex, and then from there, tell him you really enjoy anal play with him and you’d love him to have anal sex with you and ask if he’s open to the idea now. Don’t make him feel bad or put on the spot, just try to have an open conversation about it and see what his concerns are, tell him it feels really good for you and you love doing it, and try to address any fears he may have about it.

Good luck!

Message: How to Include Anal Training in Sex Routine?

Anonymous: Here’s a question I’d be curious to see answered – What are some fun ways to incorporate anal training into your regular sex routine? I want to find ways to bring in some anal training that feel fun and exciting for my wife (rather than feeling like it’s a chore or getting bored during prolonged foreplay).

We already do some butt play regularly, but we are looking to building up to regular penetrative anal sex. We’re not totally new to anal sex, but it’s been quite a while since we’ve done it. We’re already pretty familiar with fingering, rimming and small plugs.

I’m thinking the best way to go about it is to increase our use of butt plugs and gradually increase the size. Is there a good way to do this without it feeling too clinical? Or maybe a way to make the process feel a bit sexier?

Thank you!

Ps. I really appreciate all the work you put into this blog!

Using butt plugs is a great option, and jeweled plugs can can be beneficial in that they both provide some level of training and have aesthetic appeal as well for many people, making them like a form of sexy jewelry that can be worn before and during other sexual activity.

Incorporating rimming and fingering as a regular part of foreplay even when you aren’t going to have anal sex can also be a great way of normalizing it and making it frequent.

By doing it regularly even when you don’t proceed to anal sex afterwards, it helps with training by keeping it a frequent activity, and makes it so that once you do start anal sex again, she’s already more used to it and partially warmed up from having done anal play regularly at a lower level.

Message: Double Anal With Boyfriend & Roommate in Quarantine, Part II

Anonymous: I wrote in the spring about being in quarantine with my boyfriend and roommate and how we had sex before, but in quarantine it was all the time with the three of us, and then we started trying double anal sex together and really enjoyed it.

I wanted to tell you that following your advice, we started doing it more often, and for several weeks we had double anal sex every day. Since the summer we have only had double anal sex because we like it very much, and we read about the idea of ​​double anal only here, and it was a good idea. For five months we have only had double anal sex, at least once a day.

They are not boyfriend and roommate anymore, they are both my boyfriends now, and we all like that we are in a relationship together. Doing it double anal just makes it a special connection for all of us, and we are committed to staying that way now, because it’s so nice, but also represents who we are so good.

But we want to know if this can last, is it safe and okay to do double anal so often and indefinitely? I have not had any problems so far, I feel very healthy and good about it, but I want to be sure.

Thanks for the update! So often people post a very interesting story and never return, so it’s good to hear updates from people about how things are going and progressing.

That sounds wonderful that you’ve not only been able to enjoy double anal together more often but found that it was what you really enjoyed most and decided to make your relationship double anal only going forward. I’ve posted about that subject on occasion and it definitely seems to be slowly growing in popularity with women, some trying it for the short term and others taking their anal only commitment to the next level by going double anal only.

I know and have interacted with a number of women over the years who regularly practice double anal or who are double anal only themselves, and have not heard any complain of negative side effects of going double anal only. As you no doubt have experienced, a frequent practice of double anal sex is going to result in your anus staying more relaxed and loose in the short term, though if you were to stop for whatever reason, it would tighten back up quickly. For double anal only women, staying loose and relaxed is desirable, however, so this is usually a very good side effect.

So long as you listen to your body and recognize any injuries and allow yourself to heal, you’ll be fine and are unlikely to have any negative problems. The fact you’ve been doing this daily for the past 5 months suggests you’re doing just fine and will have no issue.

I wish the three of you the best of luck and hope you are able to enjoy many years of double anal only together!

Message: My No Pussy November

Anonymous: I really want to thank you for No Pussy November. Because of it after seeing it advertised on Twitter I was inspired to try going anal only this past month and it’s really changed my life for the better!!

I struggled with vaginal since I started doing it when I was 16 and found anal when I was 17 and always enjoyed it a lot more but I never really thought about only doing anal and a lot of guys just assume vaginal and go for it so I went along with it, but when I saw No Pussy November and read about it and started reading about the Anal Only Lifestyle, it made so much sense and I was so excited to try.

This month I told the guys I hook up with that I wasn’t doing vaginal and was anal only and their reaction was actually really positive and excited and none of them bugged me for vaginal, I just had lots and lots of anal!! They seemed to enjoy it more and I know I did! I even started cumming more often because I wasn’t having vaginal half the time.

I already decided and told my guys that I’m not going to do vaginal anymore and am staying anal only, and they’re really supportive. One guy is kind of sad he won’t get to fuck my pussy anymore but I told him I’d make up for it and I don’t think he’ll really miss it. I sure won’t.

Thank you so much!! If you lived near me I’d thank you with my asshole, honestly!

Thanks for the message, and I’m very glad that trying No Pussy November was such a positive change for you and you’ll be sticking with it going forward.

I find that many women resist going anal only because they worry that guys will want vaginal and miss it, but the reality is that most women can easily say they’re anal only and take their pussy off the table and guys will be very happy with the arrangement and gladly ignore your pussy for anal and oral only. So, if you’re in that situation where you want to be anal only but fear how guys may react, give it a try for a month or two, and see for yourself. Most guys will be very, very pleased.

I wish you the best anal only life going forward!

Message: Anal 69

Anonymous: In college, I hard a darling sweet girlfriend. I got her interested in anal, but we never ass fucked. She was a tiny thing, and was unwilling. Had we been together longer, I do not doubt that ass fucking would have been a mainstay.

We ate each other’s ass a lot. I was infatuated with her asshole. Licking and tonguing was never enough, I needed to kiss it deeply, just like french kissing, while she sucked my cock.

Once we had been apart for a time, and when we got together we were both incredibly horny. Without any discussion, we each were soon eating each other’s assholes, and she had a beautiful one. It was so pleasurable, after a joyous 30 minutes or so, she brought me to an unforgettable orgasm. I dropped a massive load on her tummy, which excited her even more.

I have never heard anyone describe an anal 69 experience, and would love to hear from those of you who have. And if you haven’t tried it, you’ll love it.

Thanks for sharing your experience! It’s something I see discussed on occasion but not extremely often. It does sound very enjoyable and seems worth exploring for anyone who enjoys giving or receiving rimming.

Submission: How a Carnivore Diet Allowed Me to go Anal Only

Dear anal lovers, if you feel too much pain during anal, this might help.

I am a very happy slave to my Owner and we’ve been together for over 4 years now (I am 23). Since we met I tried to please him with my ass as much as possible, since he wanted to explore anal in many ways. But no matter how hard I tried, I ALWAYS felt more pain than I should.

I did everything, from relaxing to different forms of lube. And my Owner is extremely caring, patient and experienced. So we really did not understand what was wrong, since only about 10% of our attempts resulted in some “OK” anal sex. The other 90% of the time I felt BAD shivers and pain in my rectum, as if my rectum itself was hurt inside. My anus was ok on the outside, the problem was inside.

So after many years, due to a serious health issue, I had to do some deep research and talk to some specialists and discovered keto diet. After researching some more and trying keto for a while, which I did not enjoy at all, I started going full carnivore and my health issue (an auto immune problem) was gone.

But what we did not expect was that as soon as I went full carnivore, my rectum didn’t hurt anymore. It was like magic and trust me, we had been trying every month since we met, so the difference was huge. And I did not just stop feeling the awful shivers but all of a sudden I started REALLY loving the feeling of anal sex for the first time in my life, to the point that I was BEGGING him to fuck me in the ass instead of my pussy.

I used to be very sad because I couldn’t please him anally and now, after all this time, he decided (and I loved it) to be anal only for some time and see how we feel. It’s been a month and a half and we are LOVING it. I never thought this would be even possible and everything changed because of my diet.

So please, if you struggle with pain in your rectum during anal, consider changing your diet instead of just believing that plants and fibers are the solution for everything, because that is what was making me sick in the first place. Carnivore diet saved my life and also changed everything in my sex life for the best. Just keep your minds open and research a lot. I hope this helps you as it helped me.

Honey Doom

Message: How to Tell New Boyfriend I’m Anal Only? Pt. II

Anonymous: Hi! I wrote to you four weeks ago, I think. I’ve been taught about anal sex (and sex in general) by my very first boyfriend (we only did anal for the whole time, for a year and a half), then we broke up recently (not because of sex). I’m dating a new boyfriend, but I discovered that the idea of vaginal sex scared me (just him touching my pussy through my jeans gave me anxiety), and I didn’t know how to tell him I wanted to continue having anal sex only. Because of this, I only gave him blowjobs, but he was growing impatient for more, so I asked your advice, which you gave. You asked me to let you know how it went, so I’m writing back.

Just after I wrote to you, I thought I was an idiot: like I told you, my ex introduced me to anal sex by saying he was scared of pregnancy but didn’t want to use condoms or other contraceptives (I keep thinking it was an excuse to get me into anal, but whatever), so the solution appeared to me: I just had to use my ex’s excuses!

When I started explaining this to my boyfriend, I got very nervous about his reaction, I was afraid he’d think I’m a slut, so I added what you advised me to say: that I’d love to do anal and oral with him as often as he wants, and that he can have anal sex with me all the time and cum in my ass without any fear of pregnancy.

I was scared he’d reject me, but he smiled broadly, said he didn’t expect this at all from me or my ex (they’re good friends), then he hugged and kissed me, caressing my ass. It was a huge relief to feel his hands on my ass and not my pussy: you have to know I chose not to experience sex by myself, I wanted to discover it romantically with a boyfriend, and my ex never touched my pussy, so my genitals basically never received any sort attention.

We made love right away, and it went well. My boyfriend’s bigger than my ex, and he’s much rougher when he fucks, but it didn’t cause me any trouble, my ass adjusted very well to him. At one point, I felt that I was a little dry, so I did what my ex taught me to do: I pulled out, then I sucked his cock to lube it up with saliva. This drove my boyfriend crazy: he swore loudly, then grabbed my head firmly and started fucking my throat while calling me names, then he came with a lot of cum down my throat. It’s a good thing my ex taught me how to handle this (he did it pretty often), or I would have choked for sure.

He later apologized, he said that me sucking his cock after it’s been in my ass caught him off guard. This surprised me, since my ex told me any guy into anal sex would expect this, that it was just normal behaviour.

Anyway, we’ve been having sex very regularly since, and everything is going well. My boyfriend explains much less things than my ex, he’s not licking my ass at all, and he’s always fucking me doggy style, but I really enjoy sex with him.

Yesterday, though, he surprised me. He told me he talked a lot with my ex since we started having sex, that they shared their experiences, and it brought them a lot closer. Then, he asked me if I’d be OK with a threesome.

Like I said, I’m a romantic, so I was a bit shocked, I didn’t know what to say. He said he’d let me think about it. On one hand, I’m still shocked: I’m his girlfriend, and I’ve only had two lovers so far, so getting into threesomes now somehow hurts my values. But on the other, we’re all quite close, and I really loved sex with my ex. Besides, my boyfriend is less experienced than my ex, so maybe a threesome would teach him a few things. And finally, I’m not comfortable with the idea of saying “no” to my boyfriend: after all he’s my boyfriend, and I told him what you advised me to say, that he could do anal and oral with me as often as he wants – what if he’s disappointed?

What do you think I should do? I’m confused.

My boyfriend told me that if I’m OK with it, they could try double penetration. Do you have any advice?

I’m glad to hear that things worked out well for you and that your new boyfriend accepted you being anal only. It’s great that you’re able to enjoy anal and oral sex together without having to worry about him trying or wanting vaginal sex, and I’m sure he’s very happy with the arrangement as well!

As for a threesome, it really comes down to whether you want it or not. It sounds like part of you does while another part does not. I can’t really tell you what you should do in that case, you’ll have to reconcile the two halves of yourself and decide what will be best for you. Will having sex with your ex boyfriend along with your new boyfriend ultimately cause tension in your relationship, or will it bring you all closer together? Do you want to explore multiple partners or do you strictly want to stick to one partner at a time? Sex with multiple partners can be a lot of fun for some people, while other people don’t like it. And while some of that may come down to experimenting and figuring out whether you’ll actually enjoy it or not, some people just aren’t interested in even starting, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

When you boyfriend suggested the three of you try double penetration, what specifically is he referring to? If he means they can have anal and oral sex with you at the same time, that can definitely be something fun to try. If he means they can have double anal sex where they both penetrate your anus together simultaneously, that’s definitely a more advanced activity but a lot of women love how it feels and say it’s much more intense than just regular anal. But, if he’s suggesting one of them penetrate your anus and the other your vagina, then that wouldn’t be anal only and I wouldn’t suggest doing that nor would I expect that you want it. If that’s what he means, I’d say you aren’t interested in double penetration.

Hope that helps, and I’m sure we’ll all be interested in hearing what you decide to do and how things progress! Good luck.