Category: Messages From Readers

A majority of the content on this blog is messages from readers, whether requests for advice, venting of frustrations, or shared stories and experiences. If you have your own question to ask or comment to share, send us a message.


Message: Friends Liking AO

Maddie: I wanted to share some exciting news! I’ve been telling my friends about how much I love anal and AO for a while and have become “that girl” that they come to and ask questions about anal when they or their boyfriends want to try it, and I’ve slowly started to talk them into trying it more often and wearing butt plugs and they’re really starting to enjoy it a lot more and it’s not just something they do for their guys now! But one has a boyfriend who really prefers anal, and they’ve been doing it a lot lately, and she actually asked me for advice on going anal only with him as a gift! I told her to wear her plug more often to relax and to just tell him she wanted be anal only with him, and she did it. He was totally down with the idea (of course) and they’re going to try it until his birthday in May to start with. I told her she should make it permanent for his birthday if she has had a good time up until then. She said, “that’s the idea”, lol.

So I’m really proud and had to share, it feels really good to help another girl with anal only too, I can see why you do it!

Wow, that’s such great news! Thanks for sharing.

You’re right, it is incredibly rewarding and enjoyable to help people make the transition to the anal only lifestyle, and I encourage it for everyone who has the opportunity to do so. Open up to your friends and loved ones about how much you enjoy and prefer anal, how you’re anal only, and how you’re happy to help anyone else with anal play, anal sex, and going anal only themselves. Encourage they do an anal only challenge either by themselves or with a partner (a month is a good length of time to start with and extend it from there). If they’re just getting started, advise them on anal toys and anal play, how to get started with anal sex, and how to enjoy anal penetration without pain or discomfort.

If we all work together to encourage other people to explore anal pleasure and embrace anal only, more people will try it for themselves and many of those people will find that they, too enjoy anal sex more than vaginal and find a lot of benefits in being anal only.

In the end, that’s the purpose of this blog: sharing other people’s experiences and general advice in order to provide the inspiration and encouragement to explore going anal only for yourself, to find out if you like it.

Message: Is It Necessary to Stop Clit Stimulation?

Anonymous: I’ve been only having anal sex for several years and I love it. I have really wanted to stop rubbing my clit too, but I struggle with that a lot more than stopping vaginal penetration. It was easy to stop doing vaginal, anal feels a lot better. But I always still give in to rubbing my clit sometimes, especially on my own. When I’m having sex it’s easy. But if I’m just masturbating, it’s hard to resist. Do you have any advice, and how important do you think it is for anal only girls to not touch their clit?

Congratulations on being anal only for several years now!

Clit stimulation and whether it continue it as part of being anal only is very much a matter of personal preference. Many people in the anal only lifestyle have no problem with continuing clit stimulation and just replace vaginal penetration with anal. Some avoid it during sex but do it when masturbating. And others avoid it entirely, finding that it makes it harder to commit to the anal-centric mindset and lifestyle or makes it harder for them to orgasm from anal.

If you’re happy with how you are, then enjoy it and don’t worry about what other people do. Anal only is fundamentally about anal penetration instead of vaginal penetration, and things like excluding clit stimulation as well are additional choices on top of that which can pair well with it for some. But if you really want to pursue clit denial, especially if you feel like you lose arousal or feel depressed after clit orgasms, there are some things that you can do.

  • Work on orgasming from anal penetration instead. If you can already do this, try doing it more often to make it easier so your body gets more used to anal orgasms instead of clit orgasms.
  • Challenge yourself to gradually go longer and longer without clit stimulation. A few days at first, then a week, then a few weeks, then a month, etc. If you give in to the urges, just pick back up and try to beat your previous record. The longer you go without it, the easier it will get in time, and the more your arousal will become anal centric.
  • Use tape on your pussy or a small amount of numbing cream to temporarily remove sensation from your clit when masturbating. If you want a long-term solution, consider a clit shield.

For more information on clit denial and how to move past it, read our guide on the Benefits of Avoiding Clitoral Stimulation During Anal Sex.

Message: My Anal Only Experience

Anonymous: I just discovered your blog and wanted to share my anal experience because I think its objectively pretty hot and you seem like folks who would enjoy it. My boyfriend is 12 years older than me and only likes anal and never lets me touch my pussy during sex. And while I really like anal I can’t come from it alone, but I get really turned on by being submissive to him so I just sort of learned to focus on his pleasure, and now there’s nothing I like more than the feeling of him tensing up and cumming inside of me and knowing that I satisfied him.

Granted we don’t have anal everyday because it’s a bit too much work so on the days we can’t I go down on him whenever he wants. But on the days we do have anal he’s usually really rough and wild and does a bunch of fun kinky stuff like spit on me, or slap my butt and my pussy, or call me mean naughty names.

As much as I like our sex life I’m always on the prowl for new kinky things we could do, and was wondering if you have any suggestions for novel kinky stuff we could try.

A couple things come to mind based on what you’ve shared.

  • You mention that you can’t orgasm from anal alone, and that you don’t touch your pussy during sex. Do you touch it when you’re on your own and masturbating? While everyone is different, something that has worked for a lot of women to start experiencing anal orgasms without clit stimulation is to also transition to anal only when orgasming, so that their body can adjust fully to anal stimulation only and learn to orgasm that way. Clit orgasms tend to be a lot easier but less satisfying and because they happen more quickly, they can prevent getting to the point where you orgasm from anal.
  • What part of having anal every day is too much work for you, is it the cleaning or the warming up/stretching part of the preparation process? If it’s cleaning, you might try a higher fiber diet or taking fiber supplements as a way to naturally stay cleaner and require less manual cleaning. If it’s warming up and stretching, have you tried wearing a butt plug for at least a few hours a day if not longer (sleeping with one in can work well)? This can really help with staying warmed up for anal sex and making it more spontaneous, and also boosts your anal arousal and sensitivity. As you get used to wearing a plug longer term, you can try experimenting with 24/7 plugging.

Beyond that, there are all sorts of fun things you could try. Tape on your pussy to cover it up and prevent access to it, numbing cream to prevent feeling anything in your clit temporarily, stretching with bigger plugs or toys, double anal play, ass to mouth, rimming, and more!

Message: Learning Double Anal

Anonymous: I’ve been excited to read about people’s experiences with double anal sex. I like watching it in porn and it’s been one of my fantasies recently that I would like to try for real. Do you have any advice on how to start doing it myself?

In general, you can follow the same principles of anal sex and anal training to go larger until you are able to fit two toys or two penises, but there are a number of tricks and nuances that can help with the process, and I’m working on writing a full chapter on double anal sex for the Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle section of this website. Keep an eye there for more information as well as a few more chapters on other topics to come soon!

Message: Anal Only Girlfriend

Anonymous: I found this site after my girlfriend told me that she doesn’t like vaginal sex and wants to do anal only with me. I am worrying that I am doing something wrong and not giving her what she needs, but reading here it seems like many girls just prefer anal, is that true? I love anal, but I don’t want to limit her if she wants more than that or if she just isn’t enjoying vaginal because of me.

It’s definitely true that a lot of women love and prefer anal, some to the point of not wanting vaginal at all. It has nothing to do necessarily with the guys, it’s just their own preference, and can be for a lot of reasons. Of course, some may prefer it because they know that guys prefer it and they get enjoyment from that, but in many cases it comes from a personal preference for anal already.

Keep communication open with her about it and make her comfortable to be open and honest with you, and you won’t have to worry about her doing something she doesn’t want to. If she approached you about wanting to be anal only, chances are she just loves and prefers it and wants to be an anal only girl, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Enjoy it together and satisfy each other’s needs.

Message: Desperate for Anal

Anonymous: Covid has made it really hard for me, it’s been a long time since I’ve had sex and I’m really lonely and really want to be in an anal only relationship. I’ve been trying my best to keep things anal only but it’s easy to give in and masturbate other ways too when there’s no end in sight and I get really jealous reading about couples who were together before it all started and have been able to use this time together to go anal only or try new things but for everyone else dating doesn’t exist anymore.

I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a hard time with it. I think a lot of us who are single are experiencing something similar, and it is hard when we want to date and meet new people but we can’t. Hopefully things get better soon, though!

As for staying anal only in the meantime, you can always try to spice things up again and give yourself new challenges, or you can try to meet someone online and have them challenge you and give you some level of motivation and commitment.

Best of luck!

Message: Anal From Girlfriend

Bob: Hi we’re a MF couple with myself a Bisexual Hetero Relationship and my gf is a Bisexual.

We have discussed my interest in being pegged and she’s happy to try it out, but she doesn’t know that I have been doing anal masturbation for a few years and able to fist myself or take big toys.

I know truthfulness / trust is important for a relationship but I’m anxious that she may freak out as she doesn’t do anal herself and more on the vanilla side to sex.

And so I was wondering if I should keep it all a secret and start small, so that we can both enjoy training my hole.

She already knows that you want to be pegged, so you could open up about the fact that you already play with your ass on your own and want to include her in it as well. You don’t need to say everything all at once or how experienced you are with anal play—not necessarily keeping it secret, just easing into it over time with her. If she wants to talk about it more and asks you, tell her, otherwise let her discover your interest in it gradually as you start exploring.

Or, if she proves very receptive to the idea and enjoys exploring it with you, open up more quickly about it and tell her all about your interests in anal play.

Message: Why Aren’t More People Having Anal Sex?

John: I am an American contractor working in Kazakhstan. While working here I met a woman and we began a relationship. The county is predominantly Muslim. Although she is not, many of her friends are. Although Kazakhstan has become much more open to the use of birth control methods, a woman must visit her doctor to obtain them. In the area I work, a doctor will not issue birth control to a woman who is not married. So, when our relationship progressed to the point of wanting to have sex, I was surprised how nonchalantly she told me virtually all non-married women here practice anal sex as their form of birth control. She said it was so common, that she didn’t know anyone who didn’t have anal sex. Even after marriage, most couples continue to practice anal sex to avoid pregnancy. As she had two boyfriends prior to meeting me, she was already experienced at practicing anal sex. I, on the other hand, had never experienced anal sex in any of my prior relationships. I was always turned on by anal sex in adult movies, but thought it was really only something done in the movies.

I was amazed how much better anal sex feels than a woman’s vagina. It was as if I was experiencing sex for the first time. It was the greatest orgasm I’d ever experienced. The feeling of unloading my balls deep in her ass, as she experienced her own orgasm, was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. Although the women I slept with in the past had orgasms, hers seemed more primal. Her ass felt like it was milking my cock dry inside her. She let out a cry of passion as the last of my cum exploded deep into her. As we lay in bed recovering, I asked her if anal sex was always like this. She told me it was. At that moment I was hooked. I could honestly say that I didn’t care if I ever had vaginal sex again. I asked her if she thought she would continue to have anal sex when married. She said she did. She believes having sex in a woman’s vagina is only for the purpose of reproduction.

We are now engaged to be married in October. We’re hoping that, when my company’s contract expires in 2025 she will be able to immigrate to the United States as my wife. Eventually, we hope some of her family can come to the United States as well.

We’ve now been together for more than a year and still have anal sex almost every day. I was amazed that I never knew so many people here have anal sex. Thanks to a VPN (Kazakhstan is not the kind of place you search the internet for this kind of thing) I was able to find your blog and discover there are others who, whether by necessity or choice, only have anal sex. After experiencing it myself, I can’t say I’m surprised. What I’m more surprised about is that more people aren’t having anal sex.

While it is certainly surprising that anal sex isn’t more universally embraced as the primary form of sex that everyone has, there are a lot more out there practicing it than openly talk about or admit to it, both as a form of birth control and just out of preference for it. Conscious adoption of the anal only lifestyle has grown significantly in recent years, but there are also numerous cultures out there like you describe who already prioritize anal over vaginal and take the much healthier and more natural view that anal is for non-procreative sex and vaginal is for procreative sex.

Through education and increased experimentation with anal, and a cultural shift away from the negativity and taboo surrounding it, as well as the recognition that anal is far healthier a birth control method than hormonal birth control that comes with so many side effects for so many women, I have no doubt that widespread adoption of anal as the primary form of sex and the anal only lifestyle will follow.

Message: Double Anal?

Becky: Have there been any updates from the girls who have been doing double anal or going double anal only? I’ve been really excited to read about that the past year and it’s my fantasy to do it myself too, I have always wanted to have a relationship with multiple men at once and having it not just be anal only but double anal only makes me so excited. Do you have any advice on how to do it?

There have been some updates and new posts on the subject in the Double Anal category, though not everyone who has shared their double anal stories has followed back up. Through other channels, I’ve communicated with about half a dozen women who have either experimented with going double anal only for a month or more, or who have decided to go full time double anal only with one or more partners.

As for making it happen for yourself, there are several elements. First, you need to be able to accommodate the size of two penises in your anus and rectum together at the same time. Practicing with two dildos, or with one partner and a dildo, is a good way to get started. Once you can regularly masturbate with two dildos or do double anal with one partner and a toy, it’s time to try it for real.

Experimenting with roommates, friends, or clubs suited to group sex (the latter can be difficult during a pandemic) is often a good way to start a double anal relationship. It can be trickier than finding a single partner, which is true for any group sex or multi-partner relationship, but pursuing the same channels used for those while keeping things focused on double anal is usually a good way to go about it. Most double anal only relationships seem to have originated fairly coincidentally with multiple roommates or a boyfriend and a roommate, so you might get yourself into a situation that would provide such opportunities.

Message: Ruined Orgasms

Anonymous: Years ago, to torture myself i used to have ruined orgasms, everyone has their opinion but i think that for you to be anal only you can’t cum at all. So i would play with my clit and when i was almost there, i would stop. I enjoyed doing that cause it was a HUGE torture. Do you recommend ruining orgasms or not touching the pussy at all?

It really comes down to personal preference and what works best for you. For many, the goal of clit denial with anal only is avoiding the distraction of an easier form of orgasm so they can learn to have anal orgasms instead, and so it makes sense to end clit stimulation as a result.

However, for others who prefer anal penetration but need clit stimulation or clit orgasms to stay focused on and committed to the anal only lifestyle, edging, ruined orgasms, or clit orgasms in combination with anal can work well for them.

If your goal is to avoid anything vaginal or clitoral, then I suggest not touching it at all and focusing purely on anal stimulation and penetration.