Category: Messages From Readers

A majority of the content on this blog is messages from readers, whether requests for advice, venting of frustrations, or shared stories and experiences. If you have your own question to ask or comment to share, send us a message.


Message: New Goal for an Anal Only Marriage

Anonymous: My girlfriend and I got together 6 years ago. She didn’t have much sexual experience when we met, but during those years, little by little, I got her into anal, then anal only, then strict clitoral denial, then casual ass to mouth, then finally orgasm denial (she still has anal orgasms occasionally, but they happen when they happen, I never get out of my way to cause them, and I don’t behave differently when they do).

To me, she’s now the perfect girlfriend, and I actually proposed her! We’re getting married in about three months.

So far, we always had goals in our relationship, and for our marriage, we’d like to try new goals… but I’m perfectly happy, so I’m not sure what I could add, haha! We both love all your blogs, and we wondered if you could suggest something, a new goal to start our marriage. That’d please us very much.

We’re monogamous, not into dirty play or water sports. You probably guessed that my girlfriend is submissive – she wasn’t at first, but she got more and more submissive (both in and out of bed) and slutty as soon as we started clitoral denial. It boomed even more after orgasm denial.

What would you suggest? Thanks, and keep up the good work!

It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship and a wonderful fiancée, thank you for sharing your experiences and your progress together.

Committing to an anal only marriage and a life of pure anal together seems a pretty great goal in and of itself, and having a ceremony of your own after the main wedding where you pledge anal only to each other is something that some anal only couples like to do.

Beyond that, it sounds like you’re at a pretty great place already and should enjoy your ideal relationship and sex life. If there isn’t anything that stands out as something that you’d really like to do, there’s nothing wrong with just enjoying what you have together.

If you wanted to push her anal limits, you could explore larger toys or double anal with you and a toy. If she doesn’t wear a plug regularly, you could introduce long term plug wear into your routine. You could talk with friends and couples you know about the anal only lifestyle and work together to try and encourage other people to experiment with it and discover its benefits as well. You could symbolize your commitment to the anal only lifestyle with a set of chastity piercings.

If you do settle on something, or have any other questions, don’t hesitate to share or ask.

Message: First Ass to Mouth

Anonymous: I wasn’t planning to do this but now that it happened I’m kind of excited and proud about it and wanted to share. I was never into ass to mouth too much, I thought it looked hot in porn but was too scared to try it myself and thought it would be gross and the girls were just acting and pretending to enjoy it.

The other night I was having sex with my boyfriend in doggy and he pulled out of my ass and came around in front of me and held his cock in front of my face and it was so fast I just didn’t even think about it and started sucking. By the time my lips and tongue were around his cock, I realized what I was doing, but by then I was already committed and I also realized that not only was it not bad at all, it actually tasted pretty fucking good and it was really turning me on to suck my ass juices off his cock. I actually kept sucking until he came, I got so into it knowing his cock had just been inside my asshole and making me cum.

Afterwards he kissed me and hugged me and told me how amazing and hot it was and I guess between how much I liked it when I didn’t think I would and how much it turned him on too, I’m going to be doing it a lot more now. Last night we fucked again and I asked him to pull out and let me suck on it a few times throughout to practice and get used to it when I wasn’t suddenly surprised by it, and I still really liked it. I never thought I’d say it, but I love the taste of my ass, it’s sweet and kind of amazing. And it’s a new way to add lube! I’m not sure who likes it more, him or me. But I’m glad he got me out of my comfort zone with it and had me try it.

Ass to mouth can be an amazingly fun and hot thing to do once you’ve tried it a few times, and a lot of girls resist the idea because they think it will be gross without ever even trying it, but as you’ve discovered, trying it even just a few times tends to dispel those ideas and open you up to doing it much more. The more you do it, the more hooked you’ll get on it!

Message: No Clit, Anal Only & 24/7 Butt Plug

Canan the Turkishwife: First of all, I apologize for my poor English. I’ve been anal only with my husband for 2 years. I haven’t touched my clitoris since May. I only do anal masturbation without touching my pussy and clit.

I’ve been wearing anal plugs on my ass 24/7. I have the right to remove anal plugs for no more than one hour a day. My husband fucks me in the ass every day, but he says it’s not enough. My husband wants me to be “Double Anal Only” now. He wants to fuck me without removing the anal plug. He wants me to wear a second anal plug after the fuck. Do you think I should do this to make him happy?

Is it something that you want to do? Everyone’s sexual and relationship dynamic is different, and it sounds like you have a dom/sub dynamic going on, but what you want can still matter as well.

Aside from whether it’s something you want to do, my concern would be that keeping two butt plugs in your ass would become uncomfortable fairly quickly, as they aren’t designed to be worn in that manner, and a better approach might be to go up in size to a larger plug that’s ergonomically designed but still is significantly larger.

And for double anal sex, that’s certainly something that many people are exploring and enjoying, though usually with two men or a man and a dildo, rather than a man and a butt plug. It’s no doubt possible, but might not be comfortable for either of you to do with a butt plug every time. If you’re interested, give it a try and see how it goes, but if it doesn’t work out very well, you could try it with a dildo instead alongside his penis.

Ultimately, I’d suggest trying it a few times, seeing how it works, and then if you do find something that works, commit to a month of it and see how things progress from there before committing to it fully.

Message: Colonics/Enemas Not Working as Effectively

Ana: Hi. I want to know if any woman in here who has done only anal sex for more than 3 years has stomach issues. Me and my partner have anal sex 5 days a week and everyday I am doing colonics to be clean. For a month now i have noticed that it doesn’t work so well anymore. I prep myself and when we have sex something happens and we get dirty and when we have sex my stomach sometimes hurts. It is someone here that can relate to my story? I really can use some advice . Thank you.

I’m sorry to hear that you’re having digestive/hygiene issues that are affecting your ability to enjoy anal. That’s something that can sometimes affect people, even if they’ve had no problem before. The causes can vary, and there are different things to try, but it will generally get better in time.

  • It’s possible that you have been impacted by a stomach virus or something similar which is affecting you at a lower level and that you need time to recover, especially if you’re noticing any other digestive issues. You could talk to your doctor about the issue and see if they can offer any assistance.
  • If you’ve made any dietary changes recently, that may be a factor. Try adding more fiber to your diet, whether through fiber supplements or natural dietary fiber. This can make a huge impact. Even if it hasn’t been an issue before, adding fiber is usually a positive thing for an anal only lifestyle.
  • You may consider backing off on the enemas somewhat—even if it wasn’t an issue before, for some people they can cause more of a mess or throw off the balance of healthy bacteria that help with the digestive process.

For more information on the above, see our guide to anal hygiene and how to have clean anal sex. It has additional details about fiber supplements and more. Good luck, and I hope everything works out for you and you’re able to get back into a clean anal routine!

Message: Mainstream Porn and Anal Only

Anonymous: to be honest, i don’t find mainstream porn appealing, because most of the time they always show vaginal sex, and i get repulsed every time i see the scene. amateur porn is enjoyable for me probably because some people focus on things they love to do.

i have been anal only girl (not in a relationship) since my private part is painful and it has many disadvantages like pregnancy compared to anal that is very pleasurable and nice feeling. i feel disgusted if i play with my private part because it’s unappealing.

i don’t understand why people say anal is not for women. anyone can love anal, including women who identified as anal only

There is indeed far too much vaginal sex in porn, even still, though there are some sources that primarily focus on anal sex, and as anal continues to become more mainstream, porn will shift more to anal at the same time. It’s already been happening in recent years. Supporting porn producers that make anal only/mostly anal porn and expressing your interest in more anal only porn will help with that, too.

Well done with your own exploration of anal only. It sounds like anal comes very naturally to you and vaginal sex and stimulation has no appeal, and there’s a lot to be said for that.

Anal is absolutely for women. Women tend to love anal the most, once they experience just how good it is.

Message: How Do I Let Him Know I Want Anal?

Beth: I’ve been married for a few months and my husband so badly wants to fuck my ass. He has fingered my ass during sex a few times and even rimmed me on our wedding night. He knows I’m open to it but he doesn’t quite know just how much it turns me on. He’s tried to rim my ass and press his cock into me but I’m much too tight and he’s much too endowed. I know there will have to be a little training before but I don’t really know how to start & I think he’s a little impatient. I purchased a butt plug and I wear it at least once a week when he isn’t home but I know it isn’t enough.

Do I just wear it and surprise him with it? Do I ask him to plug me next time things get heated? I just don’t know the best way to bridge the gap!

It sounds like your primary concern is not being ready enough, because it seems that you do want it as much or more than him, you just want to make sure that his impatience or him being overeager doesn’t hurt you and it’s an enjoyable experience for the both of you. Is that a fair assessment?

I’d suggest making the butt plug wear a much more frequent thing for you, and to start masturbating regularly while wearing the plug, as well as fingering your ass during masturbation. Our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle has a section on Anal Training that provides more information that process. Once you’re comfortable doing it more regularly, I would also read the Guide to Having Anal Sex for the First Time and then decide if you want your husband to help train you the rest of the way before having sex or dive right into trying it with him.

Once you do want to admit your enthusiasm about trying it, I would just be open about it and tell him. He’ll love to hear that you want to do anal too, if he’s as excited as it seems about trying it with you. Communication is best for everyone. But you can also be wearing a plug when you tell him that, and show him, and he’ll love seeing that too!

Good luck, and I hope you have a wonderful time exploring anal together!

Message: Double Anal Only?

Clara: I’ve seen a few of your posts recently where you mentioned women going “double anal only”. Can you talk some more about that and how it works?

I’ve been anal only for four years myself, since I was 16, and I’ve done double anal every now and then during the past few years. I really like it and think it’s a lot of fun, and I think the idea of going double anal only, at least for a while, sounds pretty hot, but I don’t know how I would do it practically since it can be hard to find guys into it, even enough to do it regularly.

A general increase in interest in double anal is something I’ve been seeing over the past few years, and I know there are at least several women out there—no doubt many more who aren’t talking about it publicly—who practice double anal only lifestyles, or who have done so in the past.

Generally, these women fall into one of two categories:

  • those who have many different sex partners and who cultivate a group of guys who enjoy/prefer double anal until they have enough to always have some combination of at least two guys at any time
  • those who are in a relationship and/or live with at least two partners full time and so always have two guys available for their ass at all times

Now, these aren’t always the easiest scenarios to bring about for everyone, but if you’re really motivated to make a double anal only lifestyle work for you, especially if it’s something you’ve been able to do from time to time before, chances are you’ll be able to figure it out and find some guys into the idea. You can always start doing it just for a month or so at first, and see where it goes from there.

Message: Anal Only New Year

Annie: I liked your post about going Anal Only for the new year and new decade and it inspired me to try it! I’ve experimented with it off and on before but never really committed, but it’s like my biggest fantasy and dream to never have vaginal sex again and only do anal, so I want to take it seriously this time.

I think part of why it was harder for me before is that I didn’t have a boyfriend who wanted it as much as I did and they always drifted back to my pussy eventually and I didn’t stop them. But I just started seeing this guy who is really into my ass and we’ve done anal twice now but no vaginal, and he says he only does vaginal if a girl wants it but doesn’t like it himself. I think that’s really hot, and I really like him, so I told him about this idea and if we stay together I think it will be pretty easy for me to stay away from my pussy.

Anyway, I just wanted to share and say how excited I am to commit to the anal only lifestyle for real this time and hopefully (my pussy is dripping wet saying this) never go back to vaginal. I hope you get lots of other girls and couples making the commitment too!

Finding the right partner can be key to making an anal only commitment work, and it sounds like you’ve scored with your new guy. People who strongly believe in anal only are wonderful and to be cherished.

It sounds like you really want it as well, so between the two of you, I’m sure you’ll have no problem at all committing to pure anal only going forward and can work to quickly make vaginal a thing of the past for the both of you.

I, too, hope that many others join you in committing to a new year and a new decade of anal only and moving past vaginal sex.

Message: Anal Only Education

Daddy D: What is the best way to educate my princess about why anal sex is better for her then vaginal sex? And do you have any literature on why clitoral orgasms are bad for her?

We have a lot of resources on exactly those topics and more in our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle. I’d suggest that you both read through those and discuss them together, and then follow up here with any further questions if you have any.

Good luck!

Message: Evolving to Anal Only

Laura: Hi, I’m Laura, 32, married for 8 years now. My husband and I have two kids, and we’re not planning to have another.

Lately, my husband has been practising anal sex more and more with me. He’s the one who introduced me to it when we met, and we’ve always done it once in a while, but lately he’s doing it much more often, and I can tell he’s much more enthusiastic when he’s doing it (licking or penetrating my hole), whereas he seems reluctant when he’s using my vagina or my clitoris.

I sort of “spied” on him by watching his browser history, and I discovered he watches and reads a lot of anal only content: porn, stories, and message boards. I’m 99% sure he actually posted messages on a board (not yours) telling he couldn’t stand vaginal and clitoral sex any more, to the point it “disgusted” him. People sympathized with him, and encouraged him to make me “evolve” to have anal sex only.

I’ve been really shocked at this, and the next times we had sex, I sort of got disgusted myself when he used my vagina or clit – not because I don’t like it, but because I know how he feels about it. So, I sort of directed him to my asshole instead, and it seemed to arouse him A LOT, resulting to the best, most passionate sex we’ve had in a while.

I thought a lot about it, and I’d like to give anal only a try, because what other options do I have? I love my husband, we’ve got a home, two kids, and I’m still planning to live the rest of my life with him: I can’t leave him for something as trivial as sexual preferences, and I can’t change how he feels about it.

I actually enjoy anal sex, and the latest intercourses we’ve had turned me on more than I expected, so I’m actually eager to try it. But I’m still worried about having only anal sex from now on, it seems to unreal. Will I get sore? How can I make it easier for him to get in, and even more pleasurable? Can I orgasm from it? Can I stop birth control? Will there be effects on my health? My husband has pretty big sexual needs, which even increased since I encouraged him to have anal sex, and he also happens to be rather large, so I’m worried about long term consequences. Also, I know he’s turned off from me touching my clit, what would you recommend to help me cut off the habit and get more anal pleasure?

Thank you.

You sound like a wonderful wife, and your husband is lucky to be with you. Not only are you interested in trying to go anal only, something that he clearly wants and prefers, but you’re excited to explore it together with him and learn how to best enjoy it for yourself as well. I think anal only is going to go very well for the two of you and you’ll find that you won’t want to return to vaginal sex.

I suggest being open with him and talking about it. Let him know that you can tell he prefers anal and ask if he would like to try going anal only together. Then, you can figure out together how best to do it.

You might get sore at first if you’re doing it every day all of a sudden, so try for two or three times a week to begin with, and give him a blowjob other times, then increase the frequency from there after a week or two, so that your ass can adjust to it.

With practice and more frequent anal sex, as well as anal masturbation with dildos and butt plugs, you will start to relax and open up for him more easily and require less preparation and warmup before having anal sex. It’s one of those things where the more often you do it, the easier and better it gets.

It’s definitely possible to orgasm from pure anal sex. Everyone’s a little different, and it’s easier for some than for others, but with practice you should be able to get there. Avoiding clitoral stimulation and becoming increasingly aroused by going multiple sessions without orgasm can help a lot as well. Focus on what sensations feel really good during anal sex and keep doing those to try and get the pleasure to build to an orgasm.

Many people do stop using other forms of birth control once going anal only, and find that anal sex is a very effective form of natural birth control for them. It can help to eliminate the negative effects of hormonal birth control, while also solidifying them in the anal only lifestyle. Care should be taken to avoid semen running from the anus into the vagina after sex, but the chance of accidental impregnation from this is very low, and many people successfully use anal sex as their preferred birth control.

There are no long term negative health effects from anal sex, when done properly with the appropriate warmup and preparation to avoid injury. If it hurts, you probably need to be warming up more first. If there’s any bleeding, you should stop and take a break for a few days to heal. But otherwise, you’ll be perfectly fine, even having anal sex every day. As stated above, the more you do it, the better it gets, and with frequent anal sex, your anal muscles stay more relaxed and flexible and you can have bigger, harder, deeper anal sex without issue or discomfort when you’re doing it regularly.

As for working towards clitoral denial, I’d suggest focusing on playing with your nipples or rubbing and fingering your ass when you’re horny, rather than touching your clit. Masturbation should become anal penetration with fingers and toys. During sex, if you find it hard to resist your clit, you could apply numbing creams like Orajel to your clit to temporarily remove sensation for the duration of your sexual activity. Some women enjoy having no sensation there at all and apply numbing creams throughout the day to help keep their focus on their ass.

It sounds like you have a very fun adventure ahead of you, and I wish you the best of luck, and invite you to continue following up as you progress through the anal only lifestyle and have more to share or other questions to ask.