Category: Messages From Readers

A majority of the content on this blog is messages from readers, whether requests for advice, venting of frustrations, or shared stories and experiences. If you have your own question to ask or comment to share, send us a message.


Message: Orgasms in the Anal Only Lifestyle

Anonymous: Dear Sir

I wrote to you last June asking for advice on becoming anal only for my Master. First, a huge thank you. Your advice was great and i am officially an anal only slut since April. It feels amazing to say that and my Master is so proud of me. Second, i would like to get your opinion on something. What is your stance on orgasms in the anal only lifestyle? My Master never allowed me to orgasm freely and always made sure i earned it. But since i am anal only it feels wrong to ask for clitoral stimulation (my only way to orgasm). I still want to orgasm but it just does not feel right. Do you have any advice?

Thanks for your guidance and your blog. 

humbly honey 

Thank you for following up! You’re quite welcome, and I’m glad to hear that you have decided to officially go anal only and are loving the experience! Ultimately, that’s what matters most, that you and your partner want it and are happy with it, and if so, then by all means, being anal only is what you should do!

As for orgasms, I’m all for them personally, but each person has their own individual preferences and goals. Excluding clit stimulation can certainly help with amplifying anal pleasure and arousal even further, and if that also works with your dynamic of orgasm denial, then I encourage continuing to explore it further. You may discover that after an extended period of time without clit stimulation, you can start to orgasm from anal penetration on its own!

Message: Stinging When Trying Anal?

Anonymous: When I have anal sex or use a butt plug, it stings and continues to whenever I try anything for a few days. Do you have any suggestions so I can try anal more often without it hurting?

It sounds like you may need to warm up a bit more, starting with lots of lube and gentle massage to gradually work your anus open with fingers, then progressing to a small toy. If it stings, you may be tearing it slightly by going too quickly.

Once you get to where you can use a toy without it stinging, try using it regularly, at least part of each day, and that will help you to stay relaxed and warmed up without risking injury. Even a minor injury can become irritated and last longer if it keeps happening or isn’t allowed to heal, so do what it takes to warm up without pain and you’ll enjoy long term satisfaction of anal sex!

Message: Anal Porn

Anonymous: Hi, I don’t know if you don’t remember me exactly, but I’m a female and I have been anal only for 2 years. I do appreciate that there is anal positivity nowadays. However one thing that really irks me is how porn has become normalize, including anal porn. If you want to normalize anal, then why do people push the connotion of anal as a “porn thing” or things that exists in pornography? That’s how the stigma affects my sexuality and how I view myself all. I am not trying to push the “ban porn” and I really don’t care if anyone wants to watch it. The thing is that many women like me feel insecure and view myself negatively after getting disgusted and I really don’t wanna see any kind of pornography no matter what and I’m not interested in it. Do not learn from porn. Yes it can be amazing but you will regret it. Yes I still like anal sex rather than anal porn, but no offense to the so-called pornography and society who creates the stigma behind anal sex.

I think it’s more that porn has also become quite normalized for most people and recognized that while yes, it’s entertainment and not always an accurate representation of sex, it can be enjoyed by most people and does influence and inspire people to try new and better things as a result. A lot of people say that they first tried anal because they saw it in porn and liked how it looked.

But not liking porn is fine as well, and plenty of people enjoy anal without any pornographic connotations. Just recognize that porn has helped with the spreading of anal positivity in recent years.

Message: I Never Thought I’d Say This…

JennaA: Last month my boyfriend asked me to try going anal only, and I agreed to try it this month because I had seen posts about Anal Only April online. We just started doing anal about a year ago and I had never thought I would been into it at all, but we both really like it now, and my boyfriend really prefers it. I think I prefer it too, but I was always insistent that I wouldn’t go anal only because I like my pussy too.

Anyway, after half a month of anal only, I can see the point of anal only a lot more, and while I still miss my pussy getting attention, I see why it’s nice to not use it and to let it stay horny and get fucked in my ass only. It’s making me much more sexual than I was before and I love it! We haven’t decided yet but I’m honestly open to the idea of staying anal only after April now.

Glad to hear it! It’s a common theme I have encountered over the years: the idea that anal only is crazy and someone would never do that… until she tries it, and realizes how much better it is to be anal only, and after a month or two of just anal, she doesn’t want to go back to vaginal at all.

Enjoy the rest of the month, and definitely keep going after that if you enjoyed yourself in April!

Message: My Anal Only April Goals

AnnaB: My boyfriend eagerly agreed when I said we should try Anal Only April, and I really love it so far, it makes me so horny and wet to only do anal and ignore my pussy! We’re going to try anal only without touching my pussy at all for the whole month and I really hope it goes well because if it does I’m going to ask him if I can stay anal only!

That sounds like the perfect goal, and he’s a lucky guy to have someone so enthusiastic about anal only!

Message: Can We Go Anal Only?

Anonymous: I really like anal sex but it makes me sore after so we don’t do it very often. The idea of being anal only really appeals to me though, and I’d like to try. Is there a way we can do it without me getting so sore?

Anal is one of those things, kind of like exercise in general, where doing it more often and on a more consistent schedule will help you to enjoy it without becoming sore in the same way. Ease into it: start once a week for a few weeks, then twice a week, and increasing frequency over the course of several months until you can do it as often as you like. At that point, it’s easy to make the transition to anal only!

Message: Does Liking Anal Make Me Gay?

Phelix: So I recently told my ex girlfriend I liked to receive anal. She broke up with me because I like receiving anal. She told me that I was gay and that it was weird. I don’t understand it what do you think?

And I have a question? I started play anally about a year and a half ago. I’m trying to orgasm from anal only do you have any tips to stop using my penis to have an orgasm. Right now I can use anal to get to the edge but I have to touch my penis to actually orgasm.

Enjoying anal as a giver or a receiver doesn’t inherently have anything to do with someone’s sexuality. Sexuality has to do with who you’re attracted to. You can be a straight man who likes giving or receiving anal sex from women. You can be a gay man who likes giving or receiving anal sex from men. Or all sorts of other combinations. The sexual act is separate from the gender you’re attracted to and want to have sex with. But because men receiving anal sex has been so associated with being gay in our culture, it’s assumed by some less informed people that liking anal means you’re gay.

As for orgasming from anal, just keep going. It takes time. Try committing to at least several months without anything but anal stimulation and you should gain significantly more sensitivity and start to get over the edge from anal stimulation alone.

Message: Getting Virgin Girlfriend Into Anal

Ted: Hi! I’m Ted, a 26yo male VERY MUCH into anal. I knew I wanted anal only after watching my first porn video at 16yo. Thankfully, I’m attractive, with a boyish face that pleases the ladies, so I never had to compromise too much with vaginal or clitoral action. I’m either dating women who are already into anal, or getting women to try it.

My ultimate dream would be to be in a couple with a younger, complete vaginal virgin, who never had her pussy fucked and who barely/never stimulated her pussy at all (no clit/vaginal action), but who’d be available non stop for oral and anal action. Also, I’m into orgasm denial in the sense that to me, the only orgasms a woman should get are those gained naturally from anal.

Months ago, through friends, I met this cute 21 year-old who quickly grew fond of me. We had a few dates, we got closer, and recently, she confessed to me she’s a complete virgin, and she’d love me to teach her what sex is all about.

This is a golden opportunity. She’s beautiful, small, smart, innocent, funny, we have good things in common, she’s just my type of girl. I tried to question her about sex, and apparently, she has next to no experience, even by herself or through porn.

I’d like to know if you have any advice to help me get her into pure anal, no compromise. I’m very afraid to screw up and chase her away, even if she’s so much into me that IMO she could accept a lot.

I thought the better approach, rather than flat out say I prefer anal, would be to suggest anal for contraception, as a first step. I know she doesn’t take the pill, so I could say I can’t stand condoms and I’m scared to penetrate her vaginally. Then if I can get her hooked on anal, or at least be used to it, it’d be easier to go from there.

I’m already planning to use the content you have here, like the super well-made The Dangers of Clit Stimulation, to keep her from pussy action once she’s accepted anal.

What do you think?

I recommend being honest and up front and not trying to manipulate her, just present your case for preferring anal, why you think anal pleasure is so much better than vaginal, and how it can amplify her pleasure to keep things anal only from the start without distracting her pleasure with multiple sources and reducing both rather than focusing just on the one with the most potential for pleasure.

Present the benefits: greater pleasure, more intimacy and trust, and natural birth control. From there, you can talk about how it’s what you’ve always much preferred and how you think it’s really attractive and sexy that she hasn’t had vaginal sex and that you’d like her to try going and staying anal only with you and keeping her pussy virgin.

Message: Friends Liking AO

Maddie: I wanted to share some exciting news! I’ve been telling my friends about how much I love anal and AO for a while and have become “that girl” that they come to and ask questions about anal when they or their boyfriends want to try it, and I’ve slowly started to talk them into trying it more often and wearing butt plugs and they’re really starting to enjoy it a lot more and it’s not just something they do for their guys now! But one has a boyfriend who really prefers anal, and they’ve been doing it a lot lately, and she actually asked me for advice on going anal only with him as a gift! I told her to wear her plug more often to relax and to just tell him she wanted be anal only with him, and she did it. He was totally down with the idea (of course) and they’re going to try it until his birthday in May to start with. I told her she should make it permanent for his birthday if she has had a good time up until then. She said, “that’s the idea”, lol.

So I’m really proud and had to share, it feels really good to help another girl with anal only too, I can see why you do it!

Wow, that’s such great news! Thanks for sharing.

You’re right, it is incredibly rewarding and enjoyable to help people make the transition to the anal only lifestyle, and I encourage it for everyone who has the opportunity to do so. Open up to your friends and loved ones about how much you enjoy and prefer anal, how you’re anal only, and how you’re happy to help anyone else with anal play, anal sex, and going anal only themselves. Encourage they do an anal only challenge either by themselves or with a partner (a month is a good length of time to start with and extend it from there). If they’re just getting started, advise them on anal toys and anal play, how to get started with anal sex, and how to enjoy anal penetration without pain or discomfort.

If we all work together to encourage other people to explore anal pleasure and embrace anal only, more people will try it for themselves and many of those people will find that they, too enjoy anal sex more than vaginal and find a lot of benefits in being anal only.

In the end, that’s the purpose of this blog: sharing other people’s experiences and general advice in order to provide the inspiration and encouragement to explore going anal only for yourself, to find out if you like it.

Message: Is It Necessary to Stop Clit Stimulation?

Anonymous: I’ve been only having anal sex for several years and I love it. I have really wanted to stop rubbing my clit too, but I struggle with that a lot more than stopping vaginal penetration. It was easy to stop doing vaginal, anal feels a lot better. But I always still give in to rubbing my clit sometimes, especially on my own. When I’m having sex it’s easy. But if I’m just masturbating, it’s hard to resist. Do you have any advice, and how important do you think it is for anal only girls to not touch their clit?

Congratulations on being anal only for several years now!

Clit stimulation and whether it continue it as part of being anal only is very much a matter of personal preference. Many people in the anal only lifestyle have no problem with continuing clit stimulation and just replace vaginal penetration with anal. Some avoid it during sex but do it when masturbating. And others avoid it entirely, finding that it makes it harder to commit to the anal-centric mindset and lifestyle or makes it harder for them to orgasm from anal.

If you’re happy with how you are, then enjoy it and don’t worry about what other people do. Anal only is fundamentally about anal penetration instead of vaginal penetration, and things like excluding clit stimulation as well are additional choices on top of that which can pair well with it for some. But if you really want to pursue clit denial, especially if you feel like you lose arousal or feel depressed after clit orgasms, there are some things that you can do.

  • Work on orgasming from anal penetration instead. If you can already do this, try doing it more often to make it easier so your body gets more used to anal orgasms instead of clit orgasms.
  • Challenge yourself to gradually go longer and longer without clit stimulation. A few days at first, then a week, then a few weeks, then a month, etc. If you give in to the urges, just pick back up and try to beat your previous record. The longer you go without it, the easier it will get in time, and the more your arousal will become anal centric.
  • Use tape on your pussy or a small amount of numbing cream to temporarily remove sensation from your clit when masturbating. If you want a long-term solution, consider a clit shield.

For more information on clit denial and how to move past it, read our guide on the Benefits of Avoiding Clitoral Stimulation During Anal Sex.