Category: Vaginal Virginity

Anal sex has long been used as an alternative to preserve one’s vaginal virginity, but as that becomes culturally less important for people, vaginal virginity is becoming a matter of choice and preference instead, with women learning they prefer anal early on and deciding to go with anal as their default from the beginning and never bother with vaginal.

Discussion: Is It Normal That I Want to Stay a Vaginal Virgin and Do Anal Only?

I’m 20 and I haven’t ever had vaginal sex, but I do anal all the time and I love how it feels so much. I masturbated my ass long before I tried playing with my pussy or clit, and my first boyfriend fucked me in my ass too, which got me hooked on it.

I’ve tried using a toy in my pussy and rubbing my clit to masturbate, but I just don’t like how it feels. Up my ass it’s amazing and I can cum so easily, in my pussy it’s just weird and kind of raw feeling and painful.

Plus I can’t get pregnant with anal, and all the guys love that I always want it up the ass, so I don’t see any reason to lose my pussy virginity. I think it’s a really sexy idea to stay a virgin there and just be a big anal slut until I decide to have kids someday.

Sound reasoning all around from this young woman, and it seems she already knows what she wants and needs and has no real issues with it. Still, she asks the audience of Is It Normal? for their opinion on her lifestyle choice. Unfortunately, the majority of them accuse her of being a guy, mock the idea in one way or another, or make troll comments. There are a few positive comments, but honestly, the most positivity comes from the original poster herself, who defends her position in a few cases, including to the claim that she must enjoy pain if she does anal.

What do you mean?? I don’t like pain, anal doesn’t hurt, it’s my pussy that does when I’ve tried using a dildo in it, that’s why I decided to not have vaginal.

Continue Reading at Is It Normal?

Message: Regret Ever Losing My Vaginal Virginity

WishIWasStillVV: My biggest sexual regret in my life is losing my vaginal virginity. I was like some of the girls in your blog who started having anal sex only. I did not want to get pregnant and it was an easy way to avoid that when I started. I loved it and my boyfriend loved it, so there was no reason to do anything else.

Over time, I became very attached to anal sex and to the fact that I was only anal, and I decided not to have vaginal sex unless I decided to have a child someday . In fact, I did it for 9 years, until I was 25 years old. But then, after being single for a while, I met a new boyfriend who agreed with the anal but wanted over time to take my virginity and continued to put pressure on me. I did not want to do it, but I finally gave in and gave up.

Unfortunately, it was very uncomfortable and unpleasant for me. I did not like it at all and the fact that I was pushed to do it probably did not help to make things pleasant. But I thought that was what I had to do to be normal, so I did it and continued for a while, until we broke up.

Since then, I have become anal only again and I never want to use my vagina again, but I am so angry and sad to think that I have lost something precious and that I am not pure anal only like I wanted to be .

I am really sorry that you were pressured into doing something you didn’t want to do, that’s not okay regardless of what type of sex act is involved. Someone who doesn’t want to do vaginal pressured into doing vaginal is bad, and someone who doesn’t want to do anal being pressured into doing anal is bad.

I’ve heard similar things from a lot of women who started out anal only for an extended period of time before losing their vaginal virginity, many express some level of regret or at least a wish that they’d realized sooner that they’d want to end up committing to anal only long-term. In your case, however, it sounds like you already knew that for yourself, and the decision to do vaginal all came from external influence instead.

And at the same time, for those who have chosen to lose their vaginal virginity, or who want to try both to see for themselves what they prefer, you shouldn’t feel bad either. It’s your body, and your choice, and that is what matters. If someone is making you uncomfortable by pushing you to do things you don’t want to do, then that’s where there’s a problem.

Thank you for sharing, and I’m glad you were able to end up back in the anal only lifestyle after. I know preserving one’s vaginal virginity as part of being anal only can be appealing and something special to some people—myself included—and it can feel like a loss, especially when you were pressured to lose it despite not wanting to, but it doesn’t make you any less. Always remember that.

Message: Tips To Try Anal For the First Time

Anonymous: I’m a virgin in both senses and I’ve tried to masturbate using my vag but I never can reach orgasm even when playing with my clit. How ever doing anal really excites me is there any tips of how to start trying anal?

With anal you’ll want to use some sort of lubrication, whether saliva, vaginal juices, or actual commercial sexual lubricant of some sort. (There are many options out there, and it’s very much personal preference as for which is “best”.)

Start slowly, with a finger, and just massage gently around and across the outside at first. When you feel yourself relax and maybe even start to open up slightly, gently press your finger into your ass and let it slide in slowly, then gradually in and out. Explore from there and adjust your pace depending on your comfort. If something hurts, slow down or back off. Add another finger as you feel comfortable and ready to do so.

From there, once you’ve gotten 3 or so fingers in and can comfortably masturbate with them, you might look into toys like butt plugs and dildos for your ass.

Just remember: lube, start slowly, and if something hurts, you’re trying to go too big or too fast and need to work up to that point from something smaller and slower first.

Message: Depressed

So I made it all November with out touching my clit and for some stupid reason I used it and now I feel really depressed ashamed and guilty for using it and now I’m almost completely turned off by sex right now and I need some encouragement and advice like should I just force myself to do anal masturbation and try and get turned on again which I can orgasm from just anal also a vaginal virgin ?any ways please help ?

So it’s actually really common for someone to feel bad or depressed and have a huge arousal crash when giving in to vaginal or clitoral stimulation after a long anal only streak. This likely has to do with a combination of factors, including the breaking of a streak and a long-term goal, and the fact that clitoral orgasms already have arousal-dampening and depressive effects for a lot of women, and so a big one after a long period without them is going to amplify that effect far more.

Don’t feel too bad about it. Try to get yourself back into anal play in the next few days and your arousal will start to grow again. Remember how you felt after a clitoral orgasm the next time you feel like you might want one, and you can use this experience to build an even stronger anal only foundation for the next time around. Expect that it will probably happen again—it can take multiple cycles of building a streak of anal only and then giving in to old habits, but weakening those habits more each time, but it ultimately gets easier with practice.

Message: Boyfriend Wants To Take My Pussy’s Virginity, Part 2

Anonymous: I sent a message recently about wether or not I should lose my vaginal virginity to my boyfriend or not and in glad to say we talked and I haven’t! He is completely understanding and more than willing to stick to anal only. We have decided we want to be even more adventurous with our anal play. We already have his friends join us every now and again but i was wondering how to get even more adventurous? What do you recommend? Nothing is too crazy

I’m glad to hear that it worked out and that you were able to communicate your desires to him and he’s understanding that you want to stay an anal only vaginal virgin. That’s great. Communication is key, and is usually the most effective way of resolving such things and figuring out effective compromises. Keep it up!

As for being more adventurous, there are plenty of ways you could do that. Not knowing what you already do, there might be some overlap with existing activities for you, but I’ll list some ideas anyway. Not all may interest you, and while they’re listed in increasing order, they aren’t all necessarily dependent on previous ones.

  • Experiment with clitoral denial and only orgasming from anal, which can have a similar amplification effect on arousal as edging and clitoral/vaginal orgasm denial does for a lot of women. If you like edging, you can actually do anal edging as well, which can be a lot of fun.
  • Start incorporating regular ass to mouth into your routine. This pairs well with group sex with multiple men as they can take turns between your ass and your mouth.
  • Start wearing a butt plug regularly and gradually training your ass for larger toys—plugs, beads, dildos, etc.
  • After working up in size, try double anal. You can try this with toys first, then once you’re confident you’re ready, try it with your boyfriend and a friend of his.
  • Anal fisting and large toy play can be a lot of fun once you’re ready for it.
  • If you’re serious about remaining a vaginal virgin, you can help symbolize this with labia piercings that close off your pussy. This isn’t strictly necessary, of course, but some like the look and the symbolism of doing so. Plenty of women are anal only or vaginal virgins without doing this, though!

Hopefully those give you a few ideas and starting points to choose from. No doubt my followers can also reply and add some ideas of their own. Keep us updated with what you decide to do and how things progress for you! Enjoy!

Message: Boyfriend Wants To Take My Pussy’s Virginity

Anonymous: So I’m a anal slut, I absolutely adore getting fucked in my ass. I’ve been having anal for the past 2 years but I’ve still never had vaginal sex. For ages all the boys loved this and so does my current boyfriend but he wants to take my pussy’s virginity and I don’t know if I want to break my anal only lifestyle. What do you suppose I do?

So, I’ll start by saying that my perspective and bias is going to be pretty obvious, considering the source. I say you should insist that you want to stay pure anal only and want to keep your pussy unused because you value that and think it’s hot to stay that way. Vaginal is likely to be a disappointment after being anal only for so long, anyway. A lot of women who start with anal for several years and then try vaginal later before ending up back in the anal only lifestyle later in life express regret that they broke their anal only streak and bothered with vaginal at all. You can always choose to try vaginal later, but you can never choose to go back to being a vaginal virgin.

That said, you should think about what you want. It sounds like you’re conflicted and if it was up to you wouldn’t be bothering with vaginal at all, so it’s more the pressure from your boyfriend that’s making you consider it. But it’s your body, your pussy, your lifestyle, your choice. If you value being anal only, and that’s what you identify with, you shouldn’t give that up lightly. You have to weigh the desire to stay anal only with what your partner wants.

If you do decide that you want to stay anal only, you should sit down with your boyfriend and tell him why and what it means to you, and that it’s not a rejection of him or what he wants, but that staying anal only and not using your pussy at all is something that you value and want to maintain, and that you’re not willing to give that up. Remind him of the positives: he can fuck your ass anytime he wants, anal is better than vaginal, he can cum in you all he likes without ever getting you pregnant, etc. You can also talk with him about anything else that he’d like to do that maybe you haven’t tried together yet, and start doing that instead of vaginal.

Message: Denial

So I’ve gone all this month so far with out touching my clit and I’m able to orgasm from anal, think I should just keep going strictly anal only or should I phase my clit in and use it a little more? And am I still considered a vaginal virgin if I have only fingered my pussy once?

Congratulations on being anal only and going without touching your clit all month! If you’re able to orgasm from anal and you’ve gone this long without clitoral stimulation, why not try to keep going and see how long you can go without it? There’s nothing inherently wrong with clitoral stimulation, of course, and if you really want to keep doing it, by all means go ahead, but if you enjoy not doing it and only orgasming from anal, I’d suggest that you continue to build on your month-long streak so far and see where it takes you.

Vaginal virginity most commonly refers to not having had vaginal intercourse with a partner, so yes, you are a vaginal virgin if you’ve only fingered yourself vaginally. Is remaining a vaginal virgin and being anal only long-term something that interests you?

Message: Vaginismus

Anonymous: I have vaginismus (a really tight pussy too tights to have sex or it hurts a lot) and my doctor had my try stretching it out and I tried but it just hurts so bad and turns me off more every time, so she suggesetd I try anal instead. I found your blog when I was looking, and it sounds great if people really do anal only, any tips? I’ve fingered my ass some and I like it more than my pussy.

Anal has proved a welcome option for a lot of women with vaginismus over the years, and it’s great to see that it’s being encouraged as a serious alternative to vaginal. We in the anal only community often come from adopting anal as the primary form of sex by choice because it’s better than vaginal, and it is, but it also can provide an outlet for pleasure and intimacy for women incapable of having vaginal, and that’s wonderful.

It sounds like you’re on the right track by starting slow and exploring with your fingers. Keep doing that, be sure you’re using some sort of lube, and start to add more fingers. From there, start with a dildo or a vibrator and gradually work up further in size as you’re comfortable and ready for something bigger. Butt plugs are also good for a more passive approach, and you can wear them in your ass while masturbating clitorally or even while doing other things.

I’d suggest only trying anal sex with a partner once you’re comfortable using a similarly sized dildo and are confident you’re ready and can do it without pain.

Message: Is It Cheating To Do No Pussy November If You’ve Always Been Anal Only?

Anonymous: Is it cheating to do “no pussy November” if you’ve always been anal only? My parents are very religious and I was raised thinking I had to save my virginity for my husband. When I started having boyfriends I learned about “Gods loophole”(lol) and started having anal sex with my boyfriends. I love it now and I cum much harder being fucked in the ass than if I just play with my pussy.

Not at all! A lot of people participate even though they’re already anal only. You can always take the opportunity to add another level to your anal only commitment, whether it be clit denial and only orgasming through anal, long term butt plug wear, increased anal play more frequently or with larger toys, or something else that interests you and relates to the anal only lifestyle. You could also choose to make the commitment to staying anal only permanently, even after marriage.

Message: Time To Give It Up

So I’m a vaginal virgin and I have decided it’s time to give up my clit and be completely done with my pussy I love using a dildo and watching in a mirror seeing my closed pussy and the dildo going in and out but back to the subject I need some help and encouragement to give up my clit I have tried Orajel but it didn’t numb it and I can only make it like a week with out my clit but then I use it and feel guilty and ashamed I used it any ideas?

Feeling guilty and ashamed after clitoral stimulation is a fairly natural response for a lot of women, and is one of the unfortunate side effects of clitoral stimulation and orgasm. It’s not universally the case for everyone, but it’s really common. Going fully anal only and focusing only on anal pleasure is a great way to be able to enjoy sex and pleasure (and maybe even orgasm from anal) without those effects, which leads to increased arousal and better sex.

If you’ve been heavily dependent on clitoral stimulation in the past, it can be a process to get to the point of losing that urge and reliance going forward. A week is a good start. Next time try to go longer than a week. Each time you give in and touch your clit, try going even longer the next time, and over time you’ll continue to build up your self control and resistance to such urges. It’s the same as breaking any other bad habit.

Tools like Orajel, superglue, and clit shields can be helpful if they work for you, but they aren’t strictly necessary. If Orajel specifically isn’t working, you can try either applying a larger amount and seeing if that has any effect, or look at similar brands and comparing the active ingredients—different ones use different topical anesthetics, and some may work better for you than others. Another simple option is just putting tape over your pussy when you masturbate or have sex to keep yourself from touching yourself there.

And finally, I think it’s great that you’ve decided to go anal only and maintain your vaginal virginity, that’s a continually growing trend that I really encourage. One day we’re going to have an anal only generation, and women like yourself are the first step towards that.