Hello, all!
My name is Ani, I am 23 female.
I am a vaginal virgin, doing oral and anal sex since 18 years old.
I was born in Transcaucasia in one of post-soviet republics, we are christians but we have a tradition that girls must stay virgin till marriage. Losing virginity before marriage causes scandal and shame, especially in small towns and villages. If a girl loses virginity before marriage, many people will point fingers and call her slut. Also we have a tradition when after the wedding night the groom’s mother checks the bed sheet for blood and if there is blood then she gifts a red apple to the bride’s mother.

After finishing school I entered a university in Russia and came to Moscow for study. Here I got freedom from parents and traditions, of course I wanted to try sex with men here but after study I needed to return home virgin. I wanted to try blowjob only. In Moscow I met my first man, he was 43, he understood the situation and kindly promised me to keep my virginity. I started sex datings with him and I did only blowjob as i wanted and i liked to do it very much. At the fourth dating he said me that I have a great ass and I must do anal sex, also he said that he prefers anal sex this is why he easily agreed to keep me virgin. I did not want to try anal sex but he insisted. First months I dod not like anal sex at all, it was too hard for me but i did it for his pleasure. However I did not want to break relationship because I felt safety for my virginity and also because he helped me financially. My parents are very poor and they could not send me money for living. After about 2 months of intensive anal sex I began to take in ass much easier. After about 2 months more I began to enjoy anal sex. I do not get anal orgasms but I get high excitation and big pleasure. I get orgasms only from masturbation alone and from eating my pussy in sex, but I do not need to get ograsm every time, I like the process of anal sex more than getting orgasm.

After my first man I met other men and I always looked for men who prefer anal sex. Now I live with my groom, he is my 7th man and he is my first love, we plan to marry this year, and I am still virgin. He loves anal sex more than vaginal, and he highly appreciates that I love it too and that I do anal sex so easily. After marriage I will lose virginity but I have no idea about staying anal only. I do not know because i have never tried vaginal sex, but I am sure that anal sex will be at the first place as big pleasure for both and as birth control.

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Vaginal virginity can be a topic of some contention within the anal only lifestyle community at times, with some people very much in favor of women who choose to remain vaginal virgins and only ever have anal sex without ever experiencing vaginal, while others argue that all women should try both before choosing which they prefer. Outlined below are some common arguments from both sides.

Arguments In Favor of Preserving Vaginal Virginity

• The idea of remaining vaginally pure has deep roots in many civilizations and appeals to many people, and this modernizes those ideas to advocate for lifelong vaginal purity and reclassification of the vagina as purely a reproductive organ while the anus becomes a woman’s sex organ
• Many men who prefer anal only girls are extremely attracted to vaginal virgins who have never and don’t want to have vaginal sex, ever
• By focusing on anal stimulation and anal pleasure only, without ever experiencing vaginal, it is much easier to get even more pleasure from anal because there are no habits or connections with vaginal penetration or (in some cases) clitoral stimulation to overcome
• You can always decide later in life to have vaginal sex if you change your mind, but you can’t go back to being a vaginal virgin

Arguments Against Vaginal Virginity

• To make a truly informed decision, someone has to experience everything before deciding what they prefer

What are your views on this subject? Leave a comment sharing your opinion.

Ted: Hi! I’m Ted, a 26yo male VERY MUCH into anal. I knew I wanted anal only after watching my first porn video at 16yo. Thankfully, I’m attractive, with a boyish face that pleases the ladies, so I never had to compromise too much with vaginal or clitoral action. I’m either dating women who are already into anal, or getting women to try it.

My ultimate dream would be to be in a couple with a younger, complete vaginal virgin, who never had her pussy fucked and who barely/never stimulated her pussy at all (no clit/vaginal action), but who’d be available non stop for oral and anal action. Also, I’m into orgasm denial in the sense that to me, the only orgasms a woman should get are those gained naturally from anal.

Months ago, through friends, I met this cute 21 year-old who quickly grew fond of me. We had a few dates, we got closer, and recently, she confessed to me she’s a complete virgin, and she’d love me to teach her what sex is all about.

This is a golden opportunity. She’s beautiful, small, smart, innocent, funny, we have good things in common, she’s just my type of girl. I tried to question her about sex, and apparently, she has next to no experience, even by herself or through porn.

I’d like to know if you have any advice to help me get her into pure anal, no compromise. I’m very afraid to screw up and chase her away, even if she’s so much into me that IMO she could accept a lot.

I thought the better approach, rather than flat out say I prefer anal, would be to suggest anal for contraception, as a first step. I know she doesn’t take the pill, so I could say I can’t stand condoms and I’m scared to penetrate her vaginally. Then if I can get her hooked on anal, or at least be used to it, it’d be easier to go from there.

I’m already planning to use the content you have here, like the super well-made The Dangers of Clit Stimulation, to keep her from pussy action once she’s accepted anal.

What do you think?

I recommend being honest and up front and not trying to manipulate her, just present your case for preferring anal, why you think anal pleasure is so much better than vaginal, and how it can amplify her pleasure to keep things anal only from the start without distracting her pleasure with multiple sources and reducing both rather than focusing just on the one with the most potential for pleasure.

Present the benefits: greater pleasure, more intimacy and trust, and natural birth control. From there, you can talk about how it’s what you’ve always much preferred and how you think it’s really attractive and sexy that she hasn’t had vaginal sex and that you’d like her to try going and staying anal only with you and keeping her pussy virgin.

So I almost messed up last night. I was having sex with my fiance missionary style and aimed a little too high and almost put it in her vagina. She immediately jerked away and I apologised.

She’s a vaginal virgin and its important for us that she remains that way. We went from having oral/outercourse only to anal only, 2 years ago and there have been several instances where I accidentally fuck her vagina in the heat of the moment.

Any advice?

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Anonymous: Firstly I’m a virgin and only done oral. When masturbating I find vaginal penetration painful and not pleasurable compared to anal. Any suggestions on working on anal only by myself and then bringing it up to a future s/o?

Thanks for reaching out! I definitely recommend going anal only and am confident you will find it much more satisfying than vaginal.

A good way to begin is to simply stop vaginal penetration, which it sounds like something that should be easy for you if you find vaginal painful and not pleasurable anyway, and switch your masturbation routine to always include anal penetration, whether with fingers, a butt plug, or a dildo. Working to the point that you can use a life-size dildo regularly will ensure that you’re ready for anal sex when with a partner in the future.

As for bringing it up to a partner, it’s best to just be honest early on in a relationship. If you’re going to have sex soon, tell them that you’re anal only and have no interest in doing vaginal but would love to do anal and oral often. Many guys will be perfectly happy with that. And if someone isn’t, then he won’t be compatible with you anyway and it’s best to learn that early on.

For more information on these topics and others, the Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle goes into more detail, but also please feel free to follow up with more questions or updates if you have any!

I’m Freja, 18 years old from Sweden, I’ve been reading this forum for a while so decided to join.
I first had anal sex about 2 years ago, it started that way because I was in bed with a guy I dated and we didn’t have condoms, and I’m not on birth control so in the heat of the moment we decided to try anal, and realised that we both loved it.
And so that turned into our “regular” sex and we never really talked about moving on to vaginal sex because we both enjoyed it.
We broke up half a year ago and I’m kinda seeing another guy now and we have kept it at anal too, he’s happy because he doesn’t have to wear a condom and I’m happy because it feels so good.

At this point it has almost become a “thing” for me that I haven’t had vaginal sex yet and it seems like it will stay like that for a while, the guy I’m seeing thinks it’s hot fucking with a “virgin” and my friends think it’s cool that I’m anal only.

Freja, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

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Anonymous: Hi! I wrote to you four weeks ago, I think. I’ve been taught about anal sex (and sex in general) by my very first boyfriend (we only did anal for the whole time, for a year and a half), then we broke up recently (not because of sex). I’m dating a new boyfriend, but I discovered that the idea of vaginal sex scared me (just him touching my pussy through my jeans gave me anxiety), and I didn’t know how to tell him I wanted to continue having anal sex only. Because of this, I only gave him blowjobs, but he was growing impatient for more, so I asked your advice, which you gave. You asked me to let you know how it went, so I’m writing back.

Just after I wrote to you, I thought I was an idiot: like I told you, my ex introduced me to anal sex by saying he was scared of pregnancy but didn’t want to use condoms or other contraceptives (I keep thinking it was an excuse to get me into anal, but whatever), so the solution appeared to me: I just had to use my ex’s excuses!

When I started explaining this to my boyfriend, I got very nervous about his reaction, I was afraid he’d think I’m a slut, so I added what you advised me to say: that I’d love to do anal and oral with him as often as he wants, and that he can have anal sex with me all the time and cum in my ass without any fear of pregnancy.

I was scared he’d reject me, but he smiled broadly, said he didn’t expect this at all from me or my ex (they’re good friends), then he hugged and kissed me, caressing my ass. It was a huge relief to feel his hands on my ass and not my pussy: you have to know I chose not to experience sex by myself, I wanted to discover it romantically with a boyfriend, and my ex never touched my pussy, so my genitals basically never received any sort attention.

We made love right away, and it went well. My boyfriend’s bigger than my ex, and he’s much rougher when he fucks, but it didn’t cause me any trouble, my ass adjusted very well to him. At one point, I felt that I was a little dry, so I did what my ex taught me to do: I pulled out, then I sucked his cock to lube it up with saliva. This drove my boyfriend crazy: he swore loudly, then grabbed my head firmly and started fucking my throat while calling me names, then he came with a lot of cum down my throat. It’s a good thing my ex taught me how to handle this (he did it pretty often), or I would have choked for sure.

He later apologized, he said that me sucking his cock after it’s been in my ass caught him off guard. This surprised me, since my ex told me any guy into anal sex would expect this, that it was just normal behaviour.

Anyway, we’ve been having sex very regularly since, and everything is going well. My boyfriend explains much less things than my ex, he’s not licking my ass at all, and he’s always fucking me doggy style, but I really enjoy sex with him.

Yesterday, though, he surprised me. He told me he talked a lot with my ex since we started having sex, that they shared their experiences, and it brought them a lot closer. Then, he asked me if I’d be OK with a threesome.

Like I said, I’m a romantic, so I was a bit shocked, I didn’t know what to say. He said he’d let me think about it. On one hand, I’m still shocked: I’m his girlfriend, and I’ve only had two lovers so far, so getting into threesomes now somehow hurts my values. But on the other, we’re all quite close, and I really loved sex with my ex. Besides, my boyfriend is less experienced than my ex, so maybe a threesome would teach him a few things. And finally, I’m not comfortable with the idea of saying “no” to my boyfriend: after all he’s my boyfriend, and I told him what you advised me to say, that he could do anal and oral with me as often as he wants – what if he’s disappointed?

What do you think I should do? I’m confused.

My boyfriend told me that if I’m OK with it, they could try double penetration. Do you have any advice?

I’m glad to hear that things worked out well for you and that your new boyfriend accepted you being anal only. It’s great that you’re able to enjoy anal and oral sex together without having to worry about him trying or wanting vaginal sex, and I’m sure he’s very happy with the arrangement as well!

As for a threesome, it really comes down to whether you want it or not. It sounds like part of you does while another part does not. I can’t really tell you what you should do in that case, you’ll have to reconcile the two halves of yourself and decide what will be best for you. Will having sex with your ex boyfriend along with your new boyfriend ultimately cause tension in your relationship, or will it bring you all closer together? Do you want to explore multiple partners or do you strictly want to stick to one partner at a time? Sex with multiple partners can be a lot of fun for some people, while other people don’t like it. And while some of that may come down to experimenting and figuring out whether you’ll actually enjoy it or not, some people just aren’t interested in even starting, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

When you boyfriend suggested the three of you try double penetration, what specifically is he referring to? If he means they can have anal and oral sex with you at the same time, that can definitely be something fun to try. If he means they can have double anal sex where they both penetrate your anus together simultaneously, that’s definitely a more advanced activity but a lot of women love how it feels and say it’s much more intense than just regular anal. But, if he’s suggesting one of them penetrate your anus and the other your vagina, then that wouldn’t be anal only and I wouldn’t suggest doing that nor would I expect that you want it. If that’s what he means, I’d say you aren’t interested in double penetration.

Hope that helps, and I’m sure we’ll all be interested in hearing what you decide to do and how things progress! Good luck.

Jadou: I am a vaginal virgin and I wish to remain so. I have been training for several months alone and I have found a man since June with whom I only do anal. I like it a lot but the problem is that in order to cum I need to touch my clit. And when I do that, the urge to be penetrated by the vagina is strong. how can I stop having this rather frustrating urge which prevents me from fully appreciating my man? Sometimes i wish i didn’t have a vagina at all….

Congratulations on the decision to remain a vaginal virgin and on finding a partner to explore anal only together with!

Clit stimulation can come with a lot of unfortunate side effects, and that urge and association with vaginal penetration can be one of them for some women. I would suggest gradually reducing or phasing out clit stimulation at least for a while and see if you can instead learn to orgasm purely from anal penetration, which is not only a better orgasm for many women, it doesn’t typically have those same associations or side effects of clit orgasms.

It could also help to put tape over your vagina, or use a numbing cream like orajel to reduce sensation and urges for clit stimulation or vaginal penetration, at least while first working to move away from those urges.

It also can help just to get deeper into the mindset of being anal only and a vaginal virgin and your strong desire to remain as such and how you’d regret it if you gave into those urges. Try to remind yourself of that when you feel the urges, and also when you aren’t feeling the urges it can help to repeat to yourself how much you love being an anal only vaginal virgin and don’t want to have vaginal sex. Consciously you already know this, but it can help your subconscious with the urges.

Hope that this helps you, and please let us know how it goes!

Anonymous: Hi! I’m 21, and I started my sexuality about one year and a half ago with an experienced boyfriend who taught me everything I know about sex.

Back then, when we started talking about doing it, he told me he was paranoid about unwanted pregnancy and didn’t trust condoms, so he suggested we do anal sex. I wasn’t against anal, but I didn’t want that as my first sexual experience. I offered alternatives like taking the pill, but every time, he would find some reason to decline and go back to his suggestion to only do anal, which led me to believe he was just finding excuses.

For four weeks, we only did hugging, kissing, caressing each other and oral sex. He patiently taught me how to give good blowjobs, and he would lick my anus. Little by little, he would massage my anus with his fingers and penetrate it a bit. Eventually, I gave up, and agreed to do anal sex.

I must say he was really nice and good at it: he bought me an enema pear and taught me how to use it (he even gave me a few enemas, it was humiliating but it was also hot somehow, and he gave good advice), he told me which diet I should follow, he advised me to masturbate only my ass when we couldn’t see each other, he explained the right postures and attitudes I should take during sex, and he went very slow on my ass, using only his fingers for the first sessions. Eventually, it was me who begged him to fuck my ass with his cock, and I had a lot of pleasure right away.

During all this time, we only did anal, and he discouraged me to touch my clit or vagina, telling me it would spoil the pleasure I got during sex. Anal just became an everyday normal thing, and eventually, I could take him easily and casually.

Our relationship eventually ended (not because of sex), and I got a new boyfriend, a good friend of his actually. But the problem is, the idea of vaginal sex now doesn’t appeal to me and actually terrifies me, I’d really like to resume the sexuality I’ve been following so far. I don’t know how to announce it to my new boyfriend without sounding like a complete slut, I only found excuses so far to avoid penetration, but he’s getting impatient, and is tired of me only giving him blowjobs, no matter how good they are.

What should I do? Should I open up to the idea of vaginal sex? In what way and with what words should I tell him I’d like anal penetration only? Thanks for your help.

Thanks for sharing your experiences, it sounds like you had an excellent introduction to anal sex and the anal only lifestyle with your ex-boyfriend, and he helped you see the benefits of being anal only and staying a vaginal virgin. It also sounds like that’s what you really want now, and if that’s the case, then I encourage sticking up for your desires and staying anal only!

As for how to tell your new boyfriend, just talk to him. Be honest. Communication is an important part of any relationship, and this is an important thing to communicate about. Tell him that you’d love to start having sex with him but that you’re an anal only girl and while you don’t want to do vaginal sex, you’d love to do anal and oral with him as often as he wants. If he’s like most guys, he’ll come around to the idea pretty quickly once he realizes he really can have anal sex with you all the time and cum in your ass without any fear of pregnancy.

I hope that helps, and please let us know how it goes!

Steven: I wrote to you last June about my girlfriend who was hesitating between having a vaginoplasty (and finally having a 100% female body) and keeping her current genitals (because I’m anal only and so is she, so she wouldn’t use her new vagina and clit anyway).

I was checking out your site to get to your porn blog (which I love) and I saw your encouragement to share stories, so I thought I’d give you some news.

Shortly after reading your answer last June, I realized my hesitation to give my opinion to my girl came from the fact I was “just” her boyfriend, so I didn’t feel entitled to have such influence on her body. Therefore, I took a big decision: I programmed a special day that’d be perfect for her, and in the evening, I told her that I couldn’t answer her question as her boyfriend but would as her husband. Then I kneeled, offered her a ring, and asked her for marriage.

I don’t think I ever saw someone happier in my life, which was quite flattering, I think we all underestimate the fear of MtF people to be “good enough” to be girlfriends but not wives. After some good time together, I finally told her what I told you: that I was anal only, wasn’t interested at all in what was on her front, and would rather have her stay the way she was, except if she could get a purely decorative pussy which would make more sense than a full vaginoplasty (it’d also be cheaper and less risky for her health).

She actually agreed with me, and we started to make researches to check out our options. To our surprise, it turns out our desire is a common one: apparently, 15% of sex change operations are vulvoplasty and not vaginoplasty, meaning the cock and balls are removed and replaced by a vulva, but there is no vaginal cavity whatsoever, meaning only anal and oral penetration are possible. Here are some links for people interested:

https://www.mtfsurgery.net/vulvoplasty.htm

https://www.issm.info/news/research-summaries/why-do-transgender-women-choose-vulvoplasty/

https://www.grsmontreal.com/en/surgeries/male-to-female/2-vaginoplasty-without-vaginal-cavity.html

Notice they openly mention among reasons for getting a vulvoplasty and not vaginoplasty: “not interested in receiving penetrative vaginal sex”, meaning vaginal penetration is losing appeal, especially among people used to anal sex. When it’s also cheaper and less risky, then it’s a no-brainer: why bother with a vagina?

We actually went to an appointment at a clinic doing such thing, and it went extremely well. We wanted a pussy with a “closed” look, looking like a virgin pussy which would contrast nicely with her obviously trained and well-used asshole, and they showed us pictures that look just perfect. It’s apparently a pretty simple and short procedure, with not too much time to heal. We also asked if it was possible NOT to create a clitoris: that didn’t seem to surprise the person we were talking to, she simply warned us that there was no going back, to which my fiancee replied that to her, a clitoris was simply a mini penis, and she wanted it entirely removed because she never used nor cared for it. It’s actually even cheaper!

To my surprise, I learned they can do this procedure to people who are 100% male (my fiancee is completely female and feminine, except for her junk).

The operation is actually planned, and we will marry each other right after that. My fiancee always dreamed of a stereotypical marriage, so we decided that after the operation, she would recover at her sister’s, and we wouldn’t see each other before marriage. It’ll be hard to wait a few weeks with no sex after being used to everyday anal sex, but that’ll make the moment and our honeymoon more intense and magical, especially discovering her new, entirely female body as husband and wife. Frankly, I get hard just thinking about it: a completely female and feminine wife with no vagina hole and no clitoris, with a purely decorative pussy like the ones you talk about in your porn blog, only able to receive anal and oral fucking for the rest of her life… that’s like she turned into a magical fairy or something. I feel so damn lucky.

Anyway, thanks for all your work and for your reply!

Thank you for following up, and congratulations on getting engaged and coming up with a mutually agreeable solution for everyone! It sounds like you’ve gotten it completely figured out, and it’s wonderful that she’ll be able to feel comfortable in her body while at the same time acknowledging that vaginal sex is something that neither of you are ever interested in having when you already have the perfect anal only life together.

Honestly, it makes the most sense and it’s good to see that vulvaplasty is becoming increasingly common. In time, I would hope that it becomes the norm rather than vaginaplasty for any transwoman interested in having a vulva rather than a penis, but uninterested in vaginal sex and wanting to stay anal only.

Good luck to the both of you, I hope you’ll continue to keep us updated on how things work out!