Category: Vaginal Virginity

Anal sex has long been used as an alternative to preserve one’s vaginal virginity, but as that becomes culturally less important for people, vaginal virginity is becoming a matter of choice and preference instead, with women learning they prefer anal early on and deciding to go with anal as their default from the beginning and never bother with vaginal.


Message: Starting With Anal Was Easy

Dee: I think you’re right that it’s better to start with anal. I’m not a vaginal virgin anymore (I wish that I was) but I had anal the first time I had sex and didn’t try vaginal for 3 or 4 years after that. My boyfriend was pretty thick and long but because I didn’t know any different and didn’t really have anything to fear about it, I just relaxed really easily and he fit inside no problem from the start. We had anal sex easily and I loved it, it didn’t hurt then and never has hurt for me. My boyfriends have said I’m a natural at anal, but I think it just is a lot easier if that’s how you start and don’t know it’s “supposed” to hurt.

Another boyfriend wanted to do vaginal and pressured me into it, so I did it eventually, but I never liked it as much, and after we broke up (I always resented that he made me do vaginal) I started looking for guys that were happy with just anal and went back to anal only, and now I identify as an anal only girl and know that’s all I want.

Thanks for sharing your story and perspective, that’s been my experience as well, and is one of the reasons I think it’s beneficial for people to go with anal first if they have the choice and forethought to do so.

I’m sorry you were pressured into losing your vaginal virginity. At least now you know definitively that vaginal is not something you want in your life and it helped strengthen your identity as an anal only woman. Sometimes trying vaginal as an anal only virgin, or slipping back temporarily to having vaginal sex after going anal only, even if neither are ideal scenarios, can end up making you realize how much you actually dislike vaginal and how much better anal is and send you right back to the anal only lifestyle stronger than before, uninterested in ever having anything to do with vaginal again. So it’s not all bad always.

Why It’s Better to Start With Anal than Vaginal

Though there has been a long tradition of women losing their anal virginity before vaginal in order to avoid getting pregnant when other forms of birth control were not available, or to save their vaginal virginity until getting married for religious or other personal reasons, anal as the initial form of sex continues to get increasingly popular, in part because of increased exposure through pornography, articles, and other media, and the resulting lack of stigma and increased curiosity that comes from the exposure and normalization of anal pleasure.

The result is that a growing number of women are being introduced to the nuances and pleasures of anal and its far greater intensity and appeal long before they ever try anything vaginal or build up any connection with that form of stimulation and begin to normalize it over anal. Learning how to enjoy anal first and becoming used to the level of pleasure it provides virtually guarantees a life of preferring anal over vaginal, which benefits everyone and ensures that everyone will be enjoying the best form of sex.

That’s not to say that women who don’t start with anal first won’t end up preferring it as well, it just helps to eliminate some of the biggest hurdles that prevent people from even giving it a serious chance. Many women refuse to even try anal, since vaginal gives them at least some pleasure and it’s easier to just stick with what they know. Even many who enjoy or even admit to preferring anal don’t give up vaginal because they feel they have some obligation to continue doing it. But if you start with anal and learn quickly that none of those myths are true, and have no old vaginal-related habits or ideas to get over, it’s very easy to just focus on what’s best and never waste any time on inferior vaginal penetration or stimulation.

If you have the opportunity to go straight to anal sex without trying vaginal first, take it. If you have friends or acquaintances in that position, encourage the same for them. The less people have vaginal sex, the more everyone wins.

Message: A Girl’s Perspective on a Lack of Vaginal Sex and Virginity

Anonymous: I wanted to offer a different viewpoint that might seem odd, but for me is important. 🙂 I’m a girl, and I’ve never had vaginal sex of any kind (I’ve rarely ever even fingered myself; it’s thanks to vaginismus.) That said, I don’t think I’d consider myself a “virgin”. To me, having a dick up my ass means I am a virgin no longer, even if “technically” I might still be a virgin in society’s eyes. I believe spreading the view that no vaginal sex = virgin even if you’ve had anal sex is disappointing and honestly not necessarily true in my honest opinion. Just wanted to offer this perspective. Love the website, so glad I found it! 🙂 Makes me feel very validated and confident in myself, as an anal only girl.

I agree completely! Having sex means you aren’t a virgin, and having anal sex is just as legitimate a sex act as vaginal is. Either counts towards not being a virgin anymore. Someone acting like you can stay a virgin by doing anal is lowering the value of anal sex in the process and saying that it’s not an equal act to vaginal.

However, if you only have anal sex, you are still a vaginal virgin if you haven’t had vaginal sex, and vice versa for an anal virgin if you’ve only done vaginal. I use that terminology on this blog to differentiate between people like yourself who have never had vaginal sex at all, and those who have gone anal only after having done vaginal in the past. It does not mean that one is a virgin in a general sense or somehow inexperienced sexually.

The idea of doing anal sex to preserve one’s virginity comes out of an entirely ridiculous concept of avoiding sex before marriage for religious reasons, and while I appreciate the effects it has on more people trying out anal sex early on and learning how good it is, it would be best if that entire concept went away and people instead just did anal because it’s better.

I know that there’s a special place in my heart for women who are anal only vaginal virgins, because as someone who seriously appreciates and prefers anal sex and the anal only lifestyle, there’s something so special about someone who chooses not to (or is unable to) have vaginal sex at all, ever, and only wants to do anal from the very start.

Thank you very much for the message and welcome to the Anal Only Lifestyle community! I’m glad you found us.

Discussion: I’m a girl, I prefer anal, and never lost my vaginal virginity AMA

So begins an AMA on Reddit by a young woman who has only ever had anal sex and prefers anal. When asked how she knows that she prefers anal without having lost her vaginal virginity, she answers:

Because I’ve tried vaginal penetration through methods other than sex (fingering, dildos, etc). And did not enjoy them nearly as much as I enjoyed anal sex

Continue reading on Reddit

The Anal Only Generation

With constantly increasing exposure to anal sex, through pornography, erotica, popular culture, and direct interaction and conversation with friends and partners, a growing number of people are exploring and enjoying it for themselves. And as more people try anal, more people find they prefer it and end up making it their primary form of sex, or even go anal only.

Everything suggests this trend is going to continue—if anal is objectively better and more enjoyable for most people when done properly, over time a majority of people are going to primarily or exclusively practice anal sex as their form of recreational sexual activity, and at some point, we will have the first anal only generation.

We’re already seeing a growing trend of women whose first sexual experiences are anal and who end up going anal only without ever having lost their vaginal virginity. Some started out with this as a means of birth control or for religious or cultural reasons, while others just prefer anal from masturbatory exploration and choose to stay anal only because being very sexually active and experienced despite always staying a vaginal virgin is a very appealing or enjoyable concept to them. I highly encourage this trend, and hope to see more and more choosing to do this. It’s also happening, perhaps at a smaller level, with men who choose to remain vaginal virgins in the sense of having never had vaginal sex with a woman and only wanting to do anal even from the first time.

However, past history or experience with vaginal sex doesn’t preclude someone from being anal only or being part of the anal only generation—it’s where you ultimately end up and choose to be a part of that matters. The majority of anal only men and women have tried both and come to the conclusion that vaginal is not for them and that their future is strictly anal only.

What about you, are you a part of the anal only generation? Will you forego vaginal sex going forward and start only doing anal? If you’re a virgin, will you go straight to anal only and not look back? And if you’re already anal only, will you help encourage your friends and others to try the anal only lifestyle for themselves? Share your thoughts, ideas, and efforts towards making the anal only generation a reality.

Discussion: Is It Normal That I Want to Stay a Vaginal Virgin and Do Anal Only?

I’m 20 and I haven’t ever had vaginal sex, but I do anal all the time and I love how it feels so much. I masturbated my ass long before I tried playing with my pussy or clit, and my first boyfriend fucked me in my ass too, which got me hooked on it.

I’ve tried using a toy in my pussy and rubbing my clit to masturbate, but I just don’t like how it feels. Up my ass it’s amazing and I can cum so easily, in my pussy it’s just weird and kind of raw feeling and painful.

Plus I can’t get pregnant with anal, and all the guys love that I always want it up the ass, so I don’t see any reason to lose my pussy virginity. I think it’s a really sexy idea to stay a virgin there and just be a big anal slut until I decide to have kids someday.

Sound reasoning all around from this young woman, and it seems she already knows what she wants and needs and has no real issues with it. Still, she asks the audience of Is It Normal? for their opinion on her lifestyle choice. Unfortunately, the majority of them accuse her of being a guy, mock the idea in one way or another, or make troll comments. There are a few positive comments, but honestly, the most positivity comes from the original poster herself, who defends her position in a few cases, including to the claim that she must enjoy pain if she does anal.

What do you mean?? I don’t like pain, anal doesn’t hurt, it’s my pussy that does when I’ve tried using a dildo in it, that’s why I decided to not have vaginal.

Continue Reading at Is It Normal?

Message: Regret Ever Losing My Vaginal Virginity

WishIWasStillVV: My biggest sexual regret in my life is losing my vaginal virginity. I was like some of the girls in your blog who started having anal sex only. I did not want to get pregnant and it was an easy way to avoid that when I started. I loved it and my boyfriend loved it, so there was no reason to do anything else.

Over time, I became very attached to anal sex and to the fact that I was only anal, and I decided not to have vaginal sex unless I decided to have a child someday . In fact, I did it for 9 years, until I was 25 years old. But then, after being single for a while, I met a new boyfriend who agreed with the anal but wanted over time to take my virginity and continued to put pressure on me. I did not want to do it, but I finally gave in and gave up.

Unfortunately, it was very uncomfortable and unpleasant for me. I did not like it at all and the fact that I was pushed to do it probably did not help to make things pleasant. But I thought that was what I had to do to be normal, so I did it and continued for a while, until we broke up.

Since then, I have become anal only again and I never want to use my vagina again, but I am so angry and sad to think that I have lost something precious and that I am not pure anal only like I wanted to be .

I am really sorry that you were pressured into doing something you didn’t want to do, that’s not okay regardless of what type of sex act is involved. Someone who doesn’t want to do vaginal pressured into doing vaginal is bad, and someone who doesn’t want to do anal being pressured into doing anal is bad.

I’ve heard similar things from a lot of women who started out anal only for an extended period of time before losing their vaginal virginity, many express some level of regret or at least a wish that they’d realized sooner that they’d want to end up committing to anal only long-term. In your case, however, it sounds like you already knew that for yourself, and the decision to do vaginal all came from external influence instead.

And at the same time, for those who have chosen to lose their vaginal virginity, or who want to try both to see for themselves what they prefer, you shouldn’t feel bad either. It’s your body, and your choice, and that is what matters. If someone is making you uncomfortable by pushing you to do things you don’t want to do, then that’s where there’s a problem.

Thank you for sharing, and I’m glad you were able to end up back in the anal only lifestyle after. I know preserving one’s vaginal virginity as part of being anal only can be appealing and something special to some people—myself included—and it can feel like a loss, especially when you were pressured to lose it despite not wanting to, but it doesn’t make you any less. Always remember that.

Message: Tips To Try Anal For the First Time

Anonymous: I’m a virgin in both senses and I’ve tried to masturbate using my vag but I never can reach orgasm even when playing with my clit. How ever doing anal really excites me is there any tips of how to start trying anal?

With anal you’ll want to use some sort of lubrication, whether saliva, vaginal juices, or actual commercial sexual lubricant of some sort. (There are many options out there, and it’s very much personal preference as for which is “best”.)

Start slowly, with a finger, and just massage gently around and across the outside at first. When you feel yourself relax and maybe even start to open up slightly, gently press your finger into your ass and let it slide in slowly, then gradually in and out. Explore from there and adjust your pace depending on your comfort. If something hurts, slow down or back off. Add another finger as you feel comfortable and ready to do so.

From there, once you’ve gotten 3 or so fingers in and can comfortably masturbate with them, you might look into toys like butt plugs and dildos for your ass.

Just remember: lube, start slowly, and if something hurts, you’re trying to go too big or too fast and need to work up to that point from something smaller and slower first.

Message: Depressed

So I made it all November with out touching my clit and for some stupid reason I used it and now I feel really depressed ashamed and guilty for using it and now I’m almost completely turned off by sex right now and I need some encouragement and advice like should I just force myself to do anal masturbation and try and get turned on again which I can orgasm from just anal also a vaginal virgin ?any ways please help ?

So it’s actually really common for someone to feel bad or depressed and have a huge arousal crash when giving in to vaginal or clitoral stimulation after a long anal only streak. This likely has to do with a combination of factors, including the breaking of a streak and a long-term goal, and the fact that clitoral orgasms already have arousal-dampening and depressive effects for a lot of women, and so a big one after a long period without them is going to amplify that effect far more.

Don’t feel too bad about it. Try to get yourself back into anal play in the next few days and your arousal will start to grow again. Remember how you felt after a clitoral orgasm the next time you feel like you might want one, and you can use this experience to build an even stronger anal only foundation for the next time around. Expect that it will probably happen again—it can take multiple cycles of building a streak of anal only and then giving in to old habits, but weakening those habits more each time, but it ultimately gets easier with practice.

Message: Boyfriend Wants To Take My Pussy’s Virginity, Part 2

Anonymous: I sent a message recently about wether or not I should lose my vaginal virginity to my boyfriend or not and in glad to say we talked and I haven’t! He is completely understanding and more than willing to stick to anal only. We have decided we want to be even more adventurous with our anal play. We already have his friends join us every now and again but i was wondering how to get even more adventurous? What do you recommend? Nothing is too crazy

I’m glad to hear that it worked out and that you were able to communicate your desires to him and he’s understanding that you want to stay an anal only vaginal virgin. That’s great. Communication is key, and is usually the most effective way of resolving such things and figuring out effective compromises. Keep it up!

As for being more adventurous, there are plenty of ways you could do that. Not knowing what you already do, there might be some overlap with existing activities for you, but I’ll list some ideas anyway. Not all may interest you, and while they’re listed in increasing order, they aren’t all necessarily dependent on previous ones.

  • Experiment with clitoral denial and only orgasming from anal, which can have a similar amplification effect on arousal as edging and clitoral/vaginal orgasm denial does for a lot of women. If you like edging, you can actually do anal edging as well, which can be a lot of fun.
  • Start incorporating regular ass to mouth into your routine. This pairs well with group sex with multiple men as they can take turns between your ass and your mouth.
  • Start wearing a butt plug regularly and gradually training your ass for larger toys—plugs, beads, dildos, etc.
  • After working up in size, try double anal. You can try this with toys first, then once you’re confident you’re ready, try it with your boyfriend and a friend of his.
  • Anal fisting and large toy play can be a lot of fun once you’re ready for it.
  • If you’re serious about remaining a vaginal virgin, you can help symbolize this with labia piercings that close off your pussy. This isn’t strictly necessary, of course, but some like the look and the symbolism of doing so. Plenty of women are anal only or vaginal virgins without doing this, though!

Hopefully those give you a few ideas and starting points to choose from. No doubt my followers can also reply and add some ideas of their own. Keep us updated with what you decide to do and how things progress for you! Enjoy!