As the anal only community has grown and more people have talked about their experiences, more people—especially men, but also a number of women—have spoken up about the fact that they had a natural attraction to and preference for anal sex over vaginal. In many cases, when growing up, they’ve found themselves attracted to asses and anuses, rather than vaginas and vaginal sex, and in turn have found that this preference carried over to sex as well.

Among those who are still in the depths of ignorance and stigma surrounding anal sex, the idea of men having an aversion to vaginal sex and preferring anal is commonly derided as a sign that he is gay and doesn’t like women, but this is far from the truth—whether heterosexual or bisexual, a preference for anal is just that, and has nothing to do with liking or being attracted to women in general. On top of that, more women are speaking up about having such a preference to anal as well—many discovering that later, but some themselves figuring it out early on in their lives.

All this is a fairly clear sign of the increasingly obvious fact that for some, being anal only comes completely naturally and that anal sexuality and centrism is a normal and natural sexual preference on the level of a sexual orientation. For many others, it’s something discovered later in life, but fits their needs so perfectly once they do try it out.

I am just curious if others prefer anal over vaginal sex..I was diagnosed with having uterine fibroids which cause me to have bad cramps and pain everyday plus I am going through menopause so I have vaginal dryness..When we start foreplay I am fine but not long after I dry up so I much prefer anal cause it seems to feel better plus I can orgasm…I thought about using creams for the dryness but kinds concerned of the affects from the creams…Anyone else experience the same problem and prefer anal?

melvinshelley2019, WeddingBee forums

A majority of the responses from other women are negative towards anal, with some even bringing up the same old myths of health risks from anal, but several women express their own enjoyment of anal or share that they similarly enjoy anal most and find vaginal uncomfortable or painful, or started out anal only.

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This article on Refinery29 goes into detail about how and why anal sex doesn’t result in pregnancy.

Anal sex is a kind of sex, but just like oral sex, it won’t result in pregnancy — no matter what genitals the people involved are working with. While you can transmit STIs during anal sex (and during oral sex, too), pregnancy won’t happen — except in one rare situation. […] Pregnancy doesn’t happen during anal sex because the anus isn’t connected to the vagina or any other reproductive organs. People without vaginas can’t get pregnant — while “m-preg” is a popular fanfiction category, it doesn’t work that way in real life: trans men can get pregnant, but cis men cannot.

It then proceeds to detail the one scenario where pregnancy can result from anal sex:

There is one way in which anal sex could result in pregnancy: if semen enters the vagina after ejaculation. According to Planned Parenthood, “Since your anus isn’t connected to your reproductive organs, anal sex can’t directly cause pregnancy. But it’s still possible for semen to get into the vagina during anal sex — if the guy ejaculates into or near the anus, and the semen leaks from there down onto the vulva. Fingers and hands could make this more likely, too, by moving semen towards the vulva.”

That means that if someone has anal sex and then ejaculates into the anus or somewhere else near the vagina, sperm could theoretically, accidentally, enter the vagina and cause a pregnancy. If someone ejaculates after anal sex, touches the semen, and then fingers their partner, that could theoretically result in a pregnancy, too. But if semen doesn’t enter the vagina, there’s no chance of pregnancy happening.

Fortunately, this is exceedingly rare, but it is possible. So if getting pregnant is not your intent, be sure to clean up afterwards and take care to avoid semen entering the vaginal canal after anal sex.

If getting pregnant is your intent, however, and you want to maintain a completely vaginal penetration-free lifestyle even while doing so, whether just because you want to avoid going back to vaginal intercourse or because you want to maintain vaginal virginity, you can utilize this method to engage in anal sex as normal, ejaculate anally, and then push it back out while spreading the vagina open for it to run down and into. This technique can work and has been used by those in the anal only lifestyle, though it may require repeated attempts to do so.

Continue reading on Refinery29

A Quora user asks this question, which is actually a fairly common thing people interested in the anal only lifestyle and introducing more anal sex into their life in general are concerned about, and which ties into a lot of anal myths and fears.

Well…

I don’t know yet. After having anal sex probably a couple thousand times in the past 20 years, the only effect I’ve noticed so far is that I can more easily allow something to go up my ass.

What about incontinence!?
Nope.

Hemorrhoids?
Nada.

Fissures.
None whatsoever.

Itchiness?
Well, I suppose, but no more than normal.

Pimples?
Now you’re really reaching.

It’s not just me either. I have more than a few friends who like it up the butt. Some, moreso than others. They all report no ill effects whatsoever.

Ernie Dunbar, Quora

If it starts to hurt, stop. If it starts to bleed, stop. Other than that you’re fine

You don’t have anything to worry about as far as fatiguing your butt muscles, since they snap back to their normal tightness within a few minutes after you stop playing, and like all muscles they tone up and get stronger with use.

Bonnie Smith, Quora

These are both great answers that get to the truth of the matter with anal sex. There is no such thing as too much anal sex, in a universal sense. You just need to listen to your body and if you get sore or feel pain, you should take a break. If everything is good, you’re good. The more you gain experience and practice with anal sex and the more your body is conditioned to it, the more you can do without getting sore or fatigued. Some can only do it once every week or two when first starting out, some a few times a week, and some multiple times per day.

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Anonymous: if you really believe anal was the height of pleasure, you would stop touching your dick, and only take it in the ass. almost like its not about pleasure at all and is entirely about you forcing women into ignoring parts of their body literally designed for penetration because of your anal fetish.

No one is forcing anyone to do anything. If you prefer anal, or are curious about why it might be better than vaginal, then this blog is for you. If you are uninterested in anal or in anal exclusivity through the anal only lifestyle, then you’re free to ignore it.

There are some women who sincerely prefer anal over vaginal and so choose to focus on that. This is also true of some men, who prefer receiving anal penetration and focus on that instead of using their penis. All are welcome and encouraged in the anal only lifestyle.

But consent is key, always, and no one should ever be forced to do such things. What I do is share my perspective (and that of others) so that those who have similar interests or are curious about this approach to sexuality are able to have a resource to learn more and interact with others like themselves, or be encouraged to try it for themselves if they haven’t yet already.

Even within the anal only lifestyle, ass to mouth can be an act of some contention. While increasingly popular, there are still those who see it as something dirty or degrading. And though it can be incorporated into play in that manner if so desired, it’s anything but when done right.

Ass to Mouth is Intimate & Loving

In much the same way that shifting to primarily or exclusively having anal sex, couples who have incorporated ass to mouth as a regular part of their sexual routine frequently talk about the increase in intimacy that results from it. Because it requires mutual trust between partners, just as anal sex does, and because it shows an openness with one’s body both with oneself and sharing with a partner, it can be a powerful act that brings people closer together.

Ass to Mouth is Sexy

That same openness that leads to an increase in intimacy is sexy and attractive. Both partners can find ass to mouth to be a very sexy act—it’s a delight to switch from anal sex to oral sex without getting out of the moment by “cleaning” first, and just going for it. As before, it’s an acceptance of sex and each other’s bodies and that makes everything sexier and better for everyone. The fact that it’s still somewhat of a taboo can also be exciting for some, and some women find they get off on the idea itself, with a few even orgasming from going ass to mouth.

Ass to Mouth Tastes Good

Despite the misconception that anal sex and ass to mouth always smells or tastes bad, the reality is that a clean anus and rectum will actually taste incredible, if it tastes like anything at all. With proper hygiene, bad tastes or smells just aren’t going to be a factor, and some people find that it can actually be subtly sweet in flavor. Developing cravings for the taste and wanting it frequently is not at all uncommon.

Ass to Mouth is Addictive

The more you do it, the more you want it, both for the act and the taste, and women who do it often report developing a compulsion and craving for it, which in turn boosts their arousal and cravings for anal sex as well, leading to good times all around for everyone.

So, start doing ass to mouth if you aren’t already. You won’t know what you’re missing until you try it.

Myself and my girlfriend do anal sex sometimes, but only sometimes. One of the main reason for this is because although its pleasurable and kinky its a lot of hassle; prepping, lubing, covering the bed and showering immediately after. If i were gay i dont think i would do anal sex much because it often doesnt seem worth the hassle as opposed to oral sex which although less pleasurable (at least in my experience) is far less hassle. Gay men are often perceived as doing anal sex frequently, but is it really as common as society seems to think?

Solomon Rustlake, Quora

There are a variety of answers, of varying quality, but here’s one on the pro-anal side:

Psst. Wanna know a secret?
*looks around furitively* Anal sex is the universal sex.
*looks around again to make sure no one heard me say this*
Wanna know why? Everyone has a butt hole. That means everyone can penetrate or be penetrated in the butt. Not everyone has a vagina, and not everyone has a penis, but everyone has a butt hole. (If they don’t, that’s a medical condition to discuss with one’s physician.)
All manners of people have anal sex!

Kathryn Elle, Quora

To more specifically answer the original question, however, it sounds like the original poster’s real problem is with needing to do it more often and get into a routine of anal sex to avoid the need for what he perceives as the hassle surrounding it. With frequent anal play, butt plugging and sex, the needs for warmup are minimized, you can get started with nothing more than a little dab of lube most of the time. Warmup is certainly important for people starting out or doing it infrequently, and should not be ignored if it’s needed, but as people get more and more into the anal only lifestyle, they tend to be engaging in anal penetration often enough that they stay always warmed up. It’s also not necessary to “cover the bed” or shower immediately after, though putting down a towel isn’t exactly difficult for a bit of extra precaution. Follow up with a little bit of ass to mouth and you’re as clean as you need to be, barring any unfortunate accidents.

He acknowledges that anal is far more pleasurable. He just needs to get more comfortable with it and he can be doing it every time rather than on a rare occasion.

Continue reading on Quora

So you know that you love, or prefer anal sex. Maybe you’ve even tried an anal only challenge for a month or two in the past. But you haven’t been able to make the long-term commitment to give up vaginal sex entirely and go anal only for good. There are a few common concerns that keep people from doing so, which this post will address—and hopefully by the end of it, you’ll realize that you don’t need to hang on to the option of vaginal penetration anymore and that it’s time to let it go for good.

Concern That Going Anal Only Will Get Boring

Many couples out there are strongly in favor of anal sex and engage in it as their primary form of sexual activity but continue to keep vaginal in the mix just as a way of “adding variety” out of a fear that if they focus entirely on what they prefer, they’ll get tired of it.

The reality is that, while this is often very much true of vaginal sex, anal is somehow different and one rarely gets tired of it once they adopt it as their primary, default, natural form of having sex. If anything, the craving and excitement and lack of boredom increases the deeper one adopts the anal only lifestyle. Couples have been anal only together for years, even decades, and regularly report no interest in changing back to vaginal, even on occasion. Anal is all they need or want, and their sex lives are better than ever as a result.

Soreness, Injury and Other Health Concerns

A growing number of women prefer anal sex, many privately, some openly, but aren’t yet anal only. Why? Because as much as they prefer it, they still get sore afterwards, or are fearful of injuries as a result of doing “too much” anal sex, or that it will cause health problems later in life if they adopt it as their primary form of sex. So, instead of going all in on anal, they continue primarily having the vaginal sex they don’t like nearly as much and only do anal as an occasional treat.

This is rooted in a number of common myths that ultimately aren’t true or are the result of misunderstandings or poor anal technique and practices.

The most common, soreness from doing anal sex, is actually the result of not warming up properly and not doing anal play or sex often enough. If instead of saving it as a once-or-twice-a-month sort of activity, a woman instead started doing anal play and sex three to five times a week, she would very quickly stop experiencing any soreness or discomfort and would nearly always be ready to enjoy pure anal pleasure. Warming up with fingers, dildos and butt plugs also helps significantly, as does masturbating anally on a regular basis when not having sex, and wearing a plug for more extended periods of time outside of warmup periods. Increased frequency of anal sex and play keeps you warmed up longer and requires less preparation for each subsequent time, so long as you don’t go too long in between.

It is possible to be injured from anal sex, just as it is from vaginal sex. Foreplay and warmup are important, and if you aren’t warmed up and go too fast, you can cause micro tears that take anywhere from a day to a few weeks to heal. This can lead to soreness or more active pain. So just as with the above, it’s important to follow the proper technique, but again, it’s almost always a lack of anal activity followed by trying it occasionally that leads to this. Having anal sex more often, as will happen when going anal only, will make this a non-issue.

Long-term health risks are almost exclusively myths and fear-mongering. So long as you’re practicing safe techniques and not exacerbating existing issues, you can have anal sex every day for your entire life without causing issues. Anal sex does not cause prolapse. Anal sex does not cause incontinence. Anal sex does not cause hemorrhoids. Anal sex uses, stimulates and exercises the anal muscles, strengthening them and improving their health. Having regular anal sex is more likely to result in healthy anal and bowel activity later in life.

A Fear That Excluding Vaginal is Unnatural or Unfeminine and Abnormal

A common concern anal-loving women have had over the years is that while they prefer anal sex and pleasure, they’re hesitant to go completely over to anal and abandon vaginal penetration because they feel like their vagina is what makes them a woman and that it’s somehow unnatural or unfeminine to give up vaginal sex in favor of anal, or that it makes them some sort of pervert or freak.

This couldn’t be further from the truth, and is only the result of established societal norms that unfortunately treat women as support systems for their vagina and uterus and only care about women for their ability to get pregnant and give birth. A woman is far more than a vagina, and however she chooses to have sex, she’s still a woman. Just as a man who prefers anal sex and chooses to only have sex anally is still a man, and not necessarily gay, straight or bi just because of that preference, a woman who chooses to only have anal sex is still a woman.

There’s nothing unnatural about this preference, either. Society has put the idea upon us that sex is about procreation, but that is also far from the truth. For humans in particular, sex is only about procreation a tiny fraction of the time, if at all. The rest of the time, it’s about bonding, intimacy, pleasure, relaxation, and other important things. We very rarely have procreative sex, and very regularly have recreative sex. Since anal is better suited to pleasure than vaginal, and naturally prevents pregnancy in the process, it’s entirely natural that anal sex be the norm and vaginal can be saved purely for getting pregnant.

As for fear of being judged a pervert or a freak, the reality is that we’re all freaks to someone. To an anal only person, someone obsessed with vaginal sex might appear a freak. It’s all a matter of perspective, and we can’t please everyone, so do what pleases you.

Don’t let these things stand in the way of becoming anal only and moving past vaginal penetration and stimulation. Commit to the anal only lifestyle and you won’t ever regret it.

Maybe I’m just curious, or just poking a bear, so please don’t be offended. I have always been incredibly turned on by the thought of an older woman (40+) who enjoys anal/ass play, but have never met one who indulges. Do they exist? Is this a fever dream? I’d love to know.

Sean Stanley, HipForums

The answer is, of course, yes! All women can enjoy anal sex, but trends tend to be towards both younger women regularly engaging in it and preferring it as the stigmas and misinformation surrounding it fade away, and older women discovering it a bit later in life as they get past sexual insecurities and decide to enjoy their bodies for what they like rather than for what society says is proper and correct, and realizing anal is far better than vaginal in the process.

A few select responses:

I am 35 & I hope to be getting anal for many more years to cum.. just love it in there.

Slutty Sue, HipForums

I’m 45 and don’t like to think of myself as “older” but that asside I would prefer anal to vaginal any day. Everyday. 2 or 3 times a day if possible. But we old people need to take it easy. LOL.

I can’t speak for all women but I find that I get more comfortable with my sexuality as I get older. Why waste time WANTING something when you can just go ahead and HAVE it. I’m not gunna live forever.

Katravenclaw, HipForums

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That’s the question a Quora user asks, continuing:

He’s brought it up twice even though I say no and tell him that I don’t go that route. I’m starting to feel like he’ll never be pleased.

Many of the answers go into the fact that she has no obligation to do something she doesn’t want to do, which is certainly true, but they’re also generally criticizing her boyfriend and suggesting that there’s something wrong or selfish about wanting anal.

The fact that he wants it and continues to want it isn’t going to go away. It’s a common desire for a reason: anal sex is better sex, and of course people are going to want to do it.

I would encourage the original poster to try anal for herself, on her own terms, and learn how to do it right so she can really enjoy it. Once she’s ready, she can do it with her boyfriend and share that intense pleasure and intimacy with him, satisfying the both of them in the process.

Continue reading on Quora