Message: Judgement From Family
Ronald: We’ve been anal only for almost two years and love it, but when my wife’s sister found out, she made it a whole thing and said we were depraved. How do you deal with judgment from family?
Good for you and your wife. Two years of anal only is something to be proud of, and I’m glad to hear you’re both loving it. Keep it up, and don’t look back!
Unfortunately, judgment from family—especially when they don’t understand what anal only really means—isn’t uncommon. People tend to react harshly to things that challenge their assumptions, especially around sex. And when it comes from someone close like a sister, it can feel even more personal.
The truth is, choosing anal only isn’t depraved. It’s healthy, natural, intentional and intimate. You know that, because you’ve been living it for the last two years. It’s about connection, trust, and a shared sense of purpose between two people who know what they want. There’s nothing shameful about that. If anything, it’s something most couples could learn from—setting boundaries, committing to each other’s pleasure, and not just doing what’s expected by default.
When it comes to dealing with judgment, the best approach is calm confidence. You don’t need to argue or justify your choices. You can simply say, “This is what works for us, and we’re happy.” That’s often more disarming than trying to convince someone who’s reacting from a place of discomfort or ignorance.
You don’t owe her any further explanation if you don’t want to discuss it more, but if you’d like her to see your side, try to talk about all the positives and why it’s such a good experience for the both of you. Maybe she’ll back off, or maybe she’ll even become curious and want to learn more or try it herself. Those who are most outspoken against anal often are those who are secretly interested in it.