My husband enjoys anal sex but feels guilty afterwards due to his religious beliefs. I absolutely love anal and want to move away from pussy, but he feels it’s wrong and that we should not do it anymore. I keep enticing him and get my way, but after he starts with pussy. He loves my tight ass and says it feels better but continues to be resistant to it. What should I do? Any tips? Any other AO lovers with similar problem? I want his cock in my ass every day, I want to orgasm anally only and want to abandon boring pussy fucking. Help!!!!

Jess for anal, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

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Anonymous: I have an uncircumcised penis of length 5.6″ and will it be ok for anal sex ? will analingus, anal penetration, cunnilingus and felatio go one after the other during sex and which lubricant is best for anal sex?

Circumcised and uncircumcised penises are both fine for anal sex, and you just need to wash after sex and urinate.

The order of sexual activities is largely up to you and your partner and what you both want, though you shouldn’t have vaginal sex after anal sex without cleaning first.

As for lubricants, we have a Guide to Anal Lubricants that you can read through.

Veki: Dear! The main problem with people who are interested in this topic is lost of love. When two peoples do not love each other they are looking for love surrogates. “Only anal” concept is fake surrogate for soul emptiness. It is sin, wrong way of life, because this is like consumation of drugs. In the begining, iz feels fine and nice but during the time it becomes insufficient and you need more and more dosege to be able to survive to the end of day. Very quickly you will become overexcited and will start to search other, more extrem, perversion to satisfy your sick sexual madness. And this road goes to hell. On the end, man starts to hate himself because he find out that he is lost without love. I tell you this beacuse I had anal sex several years and find out how it was unnatural and dirty. Only love can save you. But you have no love because you hate women, nature nad God…you are slaves of your mad, insatiable desire. One day you will find that your soul is dying if you continue with this perversion. I hope that everyone of you will realise very soon how this sin is wrong for you and find salvation. God bless you.

Thank you for your concern, but I think you’re quite mistaken. While some people may use sex as a surrogate for love, that’s not specific to any sort of sex. There’s also nothing inherently wrong with casual sex. For people who have a healthy relationship with sex, anal sex can just be a more intensely pleasurable way of enjoying it, being intimate, and expressing sexuality without risking pregnancy. There are many, many loving anal only couples who use anal sex as their physical expression of that love and connection.

There’s also zero hatred of women here. In fact, many of the most enthusiastic members of this community are women who love anal sex because it gives them more pleasure than vaginal sex, and more sexual freedom to enjoy intimacy without risking pregnancy. The anal only lifestyle is empowering to women, in reality!

While pop culture might have you believing that anal sex is an act that can just happen organically without tons of lube and prep beforehand, that’s just not really how it goes. Sure, the ol’ “sorry, I slipped and almost went into the wrong hole” thing happens sometimes, but it’s rare that the slipping excuse would result in full-penetration in your ass — unless you had a LOT of lube involved on both your bum, your partner’s penis, and even then, unlikely.

But if you’re willing to dedicate some time to prepwork (aka anal training), do your research, and buy a few lubes beforehand, anal sex can be uber pleasurable. Who knows, it might even become your favorite.

Yes, anal sex does require some extra preparation, but aside from that, it’s just another sex act. Whether you’re still debating trying it out, or are already committed to doing it, here’s everything you need to know about anal sex for beginners.

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People wanting to try anal sex for the first time are usually attracted by what they’ve heard about it, or were asked by their partner to try it. Most who try anal have no information to guide them towards a pleasurable experience. Here is a list of important things to keep in mind if you want it to be enjoyable, repeatable, and something you and your partner will EVER want to do again!

1) There are two sphincter muscles, and both have to be relaxed for anal sex to feel good. The outer sphincter is a voluntary muscle, so with practice it can be relaxed at will. The second sphincter muscle  is an involuntary muscle about an inch and a half inside the anus. Because it’s an involuntary muscle, you’ll just have to wait for it to relax.  This can take up to twenty minutes for a beginner.

2) Anal sex should not hurt. If it hurts, you’re doing it wrong.  Anal sex feels amazing if the second sphincter muscles are relaxed. If they aren’t, forcing entry will bruise the muscles. That hurts a lot! When people talk about anal sex being painful, this is the stage they’re talking about.  Rectal tissues are much thinner and more fragile than are vaginal tissues. The only solution is to take things slowly – very slowly – and wait for the second sphincter muscle to finally relax by itself. Rush this step, and you may turn off the person involved to ever trying anal sex again.

3) Anal play requires lube. Lots of lube. Unlike the vagina and mouth, the anus and rectum do not produce lubrication. Lubes specifically formulated for anal play are typically thicker to compensate for how absorbant the rectal walls are to moisture. Thinner lubes will be absorbed more quickly, and will  need reapplication. An alternative is silicone-based lubricant, which will not be absorbed into the body, but is not safe for all toys. No matter what kind of lube you choose, use plenty and reapply.

4) Talk to your partner about how it feels. Waiting for the muscles to relax is a wonderful opportunity for communication, feedback, and lots of giggles! Yes, this is a chance to take things with some lightness and fun and even some silliness. Ask questions, answer questions, move slowly. This is a learning curve, as this is a whole new realm of sensations for the newcomer!

5) It gets better. Once relaxed, there is enormous potential for pleasure from anal sex. The second sphincter will eventually learn to relax much more quickly, taking cues from the first sphincter relaxing. This training can take months and even then can be finicky, so always take it slow.

We often tell people there are four major elements to anal sex: lots of good lubrication; lots of time; more lube; and more time.  Go slowly, have fun, and check in with your partner. Anal play is just that: play!

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If you’re gearing up to have anal sex for the first time, you’ve probably got some questions. Chief among them: Is anal sex poop a real thing?

Ready for it?…Yep, it might happen. But before you freak out, rest assured that there are things you can do make it less of a, well, messy affair…and something you really enjoy.

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Looking back on your Sex Ed days, you probably got to the basics that P-in-V sex can lead to pregnancy. Anal sex was most likely left out of that pregnancy convo, and that’s probably because you technically can’t make a baby in your b-hole.

But, even though you can’t get pregnant from anal itself, it’s still possible (say what?).

All genders, identities, and sexual orientations can enjoy anal play (which can involve a penis, dildo, other sex toys, or fingers… get creative). But, when it comes to the possibility of pregnancy, we’re talking about penis to anus located near a vagina.

Going through the backdoor is a pretty common item on the sexual menu for women. One study, found more than a third of U.S. women said they’d had anal with a male partner in the past 3 months. Another study found that 13 percent of women had anal in the past 12 months, while 36 percent of women had done so in their lifetime.

These stats may vary, but one thing is certain: People are out there plundering the booty. Here’s what you need to know when it comes to pregnancy risk and anal sex.

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This message was originally posted to the Anal Only Bdsmlr blog, and is being cross-posted here.

Anonymous: You keep enconraging gapes and double anal. They’re indeed a very sexy thing, but in reality wouldn’t you be afrait if the one good hole get’s loose there’s nothing to enjoy anymore?

While in fantasy, some people like the idea of women being stretched out to the point that they can’t enjoy even anal anymore, that doesn’t really happen in real life aside from major injury and nerve damage.

Gapes are just the result of learning to control your anal muscles and keep them relaxed open. Because you have that control, you can also let them tighten back up again too, when you’re ready to do so.

Stretching from increased usage, whether from larger partners, larger toys, or from double anal, doesn’t mean that you’re always loose, it just increases your upper limit of comfortable stretching. You can still stay tight when you want to have sex that way, and enjoy smaller penetration as well. Women like Roxy Raye, who can have massive gapes and enjoy huge toys, still close up tight after and can have “normal” anal sex too.

That said, some women simply prefer larger penetrations and over time may find that they want to focus on large toys or double anal, because thats what gives them the most pleasure, and that’s perfectly fine as well if it’s what they want and they’re able to sustain it.

Anal sex is in. To be fair, it has been for quite some time (and for queer men, it’s always been in). In fact, Marie Claire went as far to call 2014 the “Year of the Booty,” and in December of that year, Mic wrote a feature called: This Year Was a Game-Changer for Anal Sex — Even for the People Who Weren’t Having It.

Six years later, anal is still going strong. As a sex writer, I’m constantly asked to write pieces about how to have healthier and more pleasurable anal sex.

By why is everyone talking about anal sex now? In large part, it’s because a sex-positive revolution is happening, and we’re more open to exploring our sexuality and vocalizing our desires. (For the record, people were always having anal sex before it was “in”—the mainstream media simply wasn’t talking about it the same way.) Also, anal sex feels really fucking good. Plain and simple. It feels good to do things to someone else’s butt, and have someone else do things to your butt. Really, the more butts involved during sex, the better.

Don’t just take my word for it. I reached out to 12 sex-positive men, asking them to describe, in detail, what anal sex feels like. Their answers make it clear that anal sex isn’t just in—it’s here to stay.

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