Category: Anal Myths

This category contains posts that discuss common myths. For more information, see our list of Common Myths & Fears About Anal Sex and Long-term Health.


Why You Should Do Ass to Mouth

Even within the anal only lifestyle, ass to mouth can be an act of some contention. While increasingly popular, there are still those who see it as something dirty or degrading. And though it can be incorporated into play in that manner if so desired, it’s anything but when done right.

Ass to Mouth is Intimate & Loving

In much the same way that shifting to primarily or exclusively having anal sex, couples who have incorporated ass to mouth as a regular part of their sexual routine frequently talk about the increase in intimacy that results from it. Because it requires mutual trust between partners, just as anal sex does, and because it shows an openness with one’s body both with oneself and sharing with a partner, it can be a powerful act that brings people closer together.

Ass to Mouth is Sexy

That same openness that leads to an increase in intimacy is sexy and attractive. Both partners can find ass to mouth to be a very sexy act—it’s a delight to switch from anal sex to oral sex without getting out of the moment by “cleaning” first, and just going for it. As before, it’s an acceptance of sex and each other’s bodies and that makes everything sexier and better for everyone. The fact that it’s still somewhat of a taboo can also be exciting for some, and some women find they get off on the idea itself, with a few even orgasming from going ass to mouth.

Ass to Mouth Tastes Good

Despite the misconception that anal sex and ass to mouth always smells or tastes bad, the reality is that a clean anus and rectum will actually taste incredible, if it tastes like anything at all. With proper hygiene, bad tastes or smells just aren’t going to be a factor, and some people find that it can actually be subtly sweet in flavor. Developing cravings for the taste and wanting it frequently is not at all uncommon.

Ass to Mouth is Addictive

The more you do it, the more you want it, both for the act and the taste, and women who do it often report developing a compulsion and craving for it, which in turn boosts their arousal and cravings for anal sex as well, leading to good times all around for everyone.

So, start doing ass to mouth if you aren’t already. You won’t know what you’re missing until you try it.

Discussion: Is anal sex as common as people seem to believe?

Myself and my girlfriend do anal sex sometimes, but only sometimes. One of the main reason for this is because although its pleasurable and kinky its a lot of hassle; prepping, lubing, covering the bed and showering immediately after. If i were gay i dont think i would do anal sex much because it often doesnt seem worth the hassle as opposed to oral sex which although less pleasurable (at least in my experience) is far less hassle. Gay men are often perceived as doing anal sex frequently, but is it really as common as society seems to think?

Solomon Rustlake, Quora

There are a variety of answers, of varying quality, but here’s one on the pro-anal side:

Psst. Wanna know a secret?
*looks around furitively* Anal sex is the universal sex.
*looks around again to make sure no one heard me say this*
Wanna know why? Everyone has a butt hole. That means everyone can penetrate or be penetrated in the butt. Not everyone has a vagina, and not everyone has a penis, but everyone has a butt hole. (If they don’t, that’s a medical condition to discuss with one’s physician.)
All manners of people have anal sex!

Kathryn Elle, Quora

To more specifically answer the original question, however, it sounds like the original poster’s real problem is with needing to do it more often and get into a routine of anal sex to avoid the need for what he perceives as the hassle surrounding it. With frequent anal play, butt plugging and sex, the needs for warmup are minimized, you can get started with nothing more than a little dab of lube most of the time. Warmup is certainly important for people starting out or doing it infrequently, and should not be ignored if it’s needed, but as people get more and more into the anal only lifestyle, they tend to be engaging in anal penetration often enough that they stay always warmed up. It’s also not necessary to “cover the bed” or shower immediately after, though putting down a towel isn’t exactly difficult for a bit of extra precaution. Follow up with a little bit of ass to mouth and you’re as clean as you need to be, barring any unfortunate accidents.

He acknowledges that anal is far more pleasurable. He just needs to get more comfortable with it and he can be doing it every time rather than on a rare occasion.

Continue reading on Quora

Making the Anal Only Commitment

So you know that you love, or prefer anal sex. Maybe you’ve even tried an anal only challenge for a month or two in the past. But you haven’t been able to make the long-term commitment to give up vaginal sex entirely and go anal only for good. There are a few common concerns that keep people from doing so, which this post will address—and hopefully by the end of it, you’ll realize that you don’t need to hang on to the option of vaginal penetration anymore and that it’s time to let it go for good.

Concern That Going Anal Only Will Get Boring

Many couples out there are strongly in favor of anal sex and engage in it as their primary form of sexual activity but continue to keep vaginal in the mix just as a way of “adding variety” out of a fear that if they focus entirely on what they prefer, they’ll get tired of it.

The reality is that, while this is often very much true of vaginal sex, anal is somehow different and one rarely gets tired of it once they adopt it as their primary, default, natural form of having sex. If anything, the craving and excitement and lack of boredom increases the deeper one adopts the anal only lifestyle. Couples have been anal only together for years, even decades, and regularly report no interest in changing back to vaginal, even on occasion. Anal is all they need or want, and their sex lives are better than ever as a result.

Soreness, Injury and Other Health Concerns

A growing number of women prefer anal sex, many privately, some openly, but aren’t yet anal only. Why? Because as much as they prefer it, they still get sore afterwards, or are fearful of injuries as a result of doing “too much” anal sex, or that it will cause health problems later in life if they adopt it as their primary form of sex. So, instead of going all in on anal, they continue primarily having the vaginal sex they don’t like nearly as much and only do anal as an occasional treat.

This is rooted in a number of common myths that ultimately aren’t true or are the result of misunderstandings or poor anal technique and practices.

The most common, soreness from doing anal sex, is actually the result of not warming up properly and not doing anal play or sex often enough. If instead of saving it as a once-or-twice-a-month sort of activity, a woman instead started doing anal play and sex three to five times a week, she would very quickly stop experiencing any soreness or discomfort and would nearly always be ready to enjoy pure anal pleasure. Warming up with fingers, dildos and butt plugs also helps significantly, as does masturbating anally on a regular basis when not having sex, and wearing a plug for more extended periods of time outside of warmup periods. Increased frequency of anal sex and play keeps you warmed up longer and requires less preparation for each subsequent time, so long as you don’t go too long in between.

It is possible to be injured from anal sex, just as it is from vaginal sex. Foreplay and warmup are important, and if you aren’t warmed up and go too fast, you can cause micro tears that take anywhere from a day to a few weeks to heal. This can lead to soreness or more active pain. So just as with the above, it’s important to follow the proper technique, but again, it’s almost always a lack of anal activity followed by trying it occasionally that leads to this. Having anal sex more often, as will happen when going anal only, will make this a non-issue.

Long-term health risks are almost exclusively myths and fear-mongering. So long as you’re practicing safe techniques and not exacerbating existing issues, you can have anal sex every day for your entire life without causing issues. Anal sex does not cause prolapse. Anal sex does not cause incontinence. Anal sex does not cause hemorrhoids. Anal sex uses, stimulates and exercises the anal muscles, strengthening them and improving their health. Having regular anal sex is more likely to result in healthy anal and bowel activity later in life.

A Fear That Excluding Vaginal is Unnatural or Unfeminine and Abnormal

A common concern anal-loving women have had over the years is that while they prefer anal sex and pleasure, they’re hesitant to go completely over to anal and abandon vaginal penetration because they feel like their vagina is what makes them a woman and that it’s somehow unnatural or unfeminine to give up vaginal sex in favor of anal, or that it makes them some sort of pervert or freak.

This couldn’t be further from the truth, and is only the result of established societal norms that unfortunately treat women as support systems for their vagina and uterus and only care about women for their ability to get pregnant and give birth. A woman is far more than a vagina, and however she chooses to have sex, she’s still a woman. Just as a man who prefers anal sex and chooses to only have sex anally is still a man, and not necessarily gay, straight or bi just because of that preference, a woman who chooses to only have anal sex is still a woman.

There’s nothing unnatural about this preference, either. Society has put the idea upon us that sex is about procreation, but that is also far from the truth. For humans in particular, sex is only about procreation a tiny fraction of the time, if at all. The rest of the time, it’s about bonding, intimacy, pleasure, relaxation, and other important things. We very rarely have procreative sex, and very regularly have recreative sex. Since anal is better suited to pleasure than vaginal, and naturally prevents pregnancy in the process, it’s entirely natural that anal sex be the norm and vaginal can be saved purely for getting pregnant.

As for fear of being judged a pervert or a freak, the reality is that we’re all freaks to someone. To an anal only person, someone obsessed with vaginal sex might appear a freak. It’s all a matter of perspective, and we can’t please everyone, so do what pleases you.

Don’t let these things stand in the way of becoming anal only and moving past vaginal penetration and stimulation. Commit to the anal only lifestyle and you won’t ever regret it.

Discussion: Do Older Women Enjoy Anal?

Maybe I’m just curious, or just poking a bear, so please don’t be offended. I have always been incredibly turned on by the thought of an older woman (40+) who enjoys anal/ass play, but have never met one who indulges. Do they exist? Is this a fever dream? I’d love to know.

Sean Stanley, HipForums

The answer is, of course, yes! All women can enjoy anal sex, but trends tend to be towards both younger women regularly engaging in it and preferring it as the stigmas and misinformation surrounding it fade away, and older women discovering it a bit later in life as they get past sexual insecurities and decide to enjoy their bodies for what they like rather than for what society says is proper and correct, and realizing anal is far better than vaginal in the process.

A few select responses:

I am 35 & I hope to be getting anal for many more years to cum.. just love it in there.

Slutty Sue, HipForums

I’m 45 and don’t like to think of myself as “older” but that asside I would prefer anal to vaginal any day. Everyday. 2 or 3 times a day if possible. But we old people need to take it easy. LOL.

I can’t speak for all women but I find that I get more comfortable with my sexuality as I get older. Why waste time WANTING something when you can just go ahead and HAVE it. I’m not gunna live forever.

Katravenclaw, HipForums

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Discussion: What should I do if my boyfriend brings up the concept of doing anal again?

That’s the question a Quora user asks, continuing:

He’s brought it up twice even though I say no and tell him that I don’t go that route. I’m starting to feel like he’ll never be pleased.

Many of the answers go into the fact that she has no obligation to do something she doesn’t want to do, which is certainly true, but they’re also generally criticizing her boyfriend and suggesting that there’s something wrong or selfish about wanting anal.

The fact that he wants it and continues to want it isn’t going to go away. It’s a common desire for a reason: anal sex is better sex, and of course people are going to want to do it.

I would encourage the original poster to try anal for herself, on her own terms, and learn how to do it right so she can really enjoy it. Once she’s ready, she can do it with her boyfriend and share that intense pleasure and intimacy with him, satisfying the both of them in the process.

Continue reading on Quora

Message: Am I Missing Something?

Anonymous: So I was talking with a group of friends (all male) and the conversation turns to sex and eventually anal sex comes up. I must be the only one of us who hasn’t done it, but the rest of the guys swear by it and say that if ever the opportunity comes up they’ll try and do it with their girlfriends. I didn’t believe them at first but they all said the same and then they told me there are people who only do anal, that it was a thing on tumblr when they allowed porn. So I went looking and found this blog. Now don’t get me wrong I’ve watched lots of porn and anal looks fun for variety but at the end of the day a hole is just a hole right? Is there something I’m missing as it would make sense that a pussy is best? Not trying to be disrespectful of anyone’s lifestyle, I’m just trying to understand. With the prep required and lube etc it doesn’t seem like it would be worth the effort but like I said I was told it’s something I’d want to do again if I were to try it.

At some level, it can come down to personal preference, but in general yes, for a lot of people anal sex does feel better and is more attractive and appealing than vaginal. A hole is not just a hole—everything has its differences.

It’s often possible to go deeper with anal. The anus is tighter and grippier. Both partners can feel the other orgasm more easily and with more detail through anal sex. Those receiving anal sex get more pleasure and more intense orgasms from it than from vaginal when anal is done right. There is a more primal and natural feeling of satisfaction from anal sex compare to vaginal.

With practice and experience, preparation can be reduced. It’s certainly needed when getting started, but with more experience and frequent anal sex, many people don’t need a lot of preparation or warmup. That, too, can be a matter of personal variation. You do need lube of some sort, but that’s not a big deal.

You should definitely give it a try, and not just once. It can take some time to get into and become familiar with fully, but once you do, there’s no comparison.

Message: How Much Anal is Too Much?

Skylar: So my (F) boyfriend and I are LDR, but working up to being a predominantly anal only couple when we move in together.

My question is: Is there so such thing as having too frequent anal sex? Not that we’re going at it every second of every day, it’s more every other day, but I’m just curious.

Yes, as with all things in life, it’s possible to have too much anal sex, but it’s not a universal, hard and fast rule for everyone, it’s something to figure out for yourself. If it hurts frequently or you’re particularly sore in a painful rather than pleasant way afterwards, you might be doing it to often. If it’s just a lot of fun and feels great without any significant ill effects, then you’re doing just fine!

It’s entirely possible for people to have anal sex daily or even more frequently, you just need to listen to your body and do it at a frequency that works for you. If every other day works for you, keep doing it. If you want to start doing it daily, go for it!

Good luck going anal only when you move in together—that’s something you’ll never regret deciding to do!

Forum: Gratitude

From a recent post on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum:

I just wanted to send you my heartfelt gratitude for the work that you do here, the community you’ve created, and the myths that you dispel in an everyday way. The encouraging, positive, can-do attitude of the advice and community has been such a gift. You’re blog was an integral part of my own exploration of the lifestyle, at the gentle prompting of my sex coach, of course.

I’d always thought of myself as a sexual explorer. I had tried and loved anal sex. I somehow always found myself with multiple partners who preferred or at least heartily enjoyed anal sex throughout the years. I’d tried gang bangs and dp, which always felt the most satisfying for all involved if my ass got used in equal measure to my mouth and cunt. It just never even occurred to me that it would be entirely more gratifying to only use my ass. It seems so silly now to say it! The answer was there all the time!

[…]

My greatest surprise has been the way that being anal only encourages the very best that sex has to offer, and not just the satisfaction derived from the physical way that anal sex feels great. All of my partners have met me with more creativity, more vigor, more intensity, more boundary pushing, and more intention to pervert conventions of sexuality in the most wonderful way. Of course, it doesn’t have to mean those things, but it has given me and my lovers the space and permission to go deeper. 

I have been able to explore so many areas, from mind-blowing anal orgasm to complete denial, shifting paradigms of desire from being an endlessly greedy bottom to seeking pleasure from the joys of service. I would have never come to these without the structure and curiosity provided by the Anal only community.

Thank you again. Two years has gone by with remarkable ease and only a few moments of extreme and intense longing for the old ways. I made it through, thanks to you all! I would encourage anyone with the slightest hint or proclivity to delve in, even if slow at first. It’s so worth it.

Continue reading on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Discussion: How Can You Have Anal Sex and Keep Your Anus Unchanged?

This Quora discussion gets into the common myth of anal sex causing damage or permanent alteration of the anus, and whether it’s possible to have anal without causing such harm.

Very easy. The human anus is made of muscle. It is able to stretch and accommodate the passage of objects larger in size than a human penis. Like any other muscle in the body, it is able to stretch out and then return to its original size, shape, and physiological state. In fact, just like any other muscle in the body, the more it is exercised the stronger it gets!

Michael McClennen, Quora

By going slowly, stopping when it hurts, and using enough lubrication.

When done correctly, anal sex does not do damage to the body. It is important that the person who is being penetrated is relaxed and aroused, and that a lot of lubrication is used to reduce friction. STOP when it hurts. Go slower.

That is how.

Elizabeth Retief, Quora

Much of the myth and confusion surrounding this topic relates to the fact that by having anal sex or masturbating anally on a regular basis, you’re not only strengthening your anal muscles but keeping them much more active and warmed up, which makes it much easier to relax them. Some people confuse this with the idea of them being “loose” or “stretched”, as if that’s some sort of permanent state. But there’s no loss of control, there’s in fact an increase in control, and it’s easy to loosen or tighten them at will. The default resting state is still for the anus to be closed and tight, but it can open up for sex much more easily with experience and practice.

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Article: Teen Vogue is Teaching Sex Ed the Way Public Education Should

On July 7, Teen Vogue published a column titled “Anal Sex: What You Need to Know.” The article detailed the benefits and nitty-gritty details of what it’s like going in the back door, from how to approach anal sex with your partner to what to expect during your first attempt. They claimed the guide was the “anal 101 for teens, beginners, and all inquisitive folk.”

Needless to say, conservatives were not pleased about it.

Within the following weeks, Fox NewsBreitbart, and other conservative news outlets wrote their responses to the article, criticizing the piece and calling it “agenda driven” and “smut.” A mom blogger called The Activist Mommy even posted a videoof her burning the issue, calling for a boycott of Teen Vogue for “teaching sodomy to our children.” It’s no surprise that some people didn’t like it, but some went as far to say that it was a “parent” issue — that talking about sex with teens was not okay.

Continue reading at Odyssey