Category: Clitoral Denial

This category contains posts talking about clitoral denial, whether advice and reasons for introducing it into one’s sexual routine, stories and accounts of having done so, and questions about why one’s partner may want them to give up their clit. For more information, see our Benefits of Avoiding Clitoral Stimulation During Anal Sex page.

For those interested in denial, you may also want to visit the website Edging Space (formerly female-orgasm-denial on Tumblr).


Message: Anal Dilemma

Ronald: Hi, I found your blog when I was searching Google for advice on my situation and it seems like you might be able to help me.

My wife and I enjoy anal sex often but she recently asked me if we can stop having vaginal sex because she doesn’t enjoy it as much as anal. Now I love anal, but I don’t want to stop using her pussy either.

She says vaginal hurts sometimes and is harder to get turned on by and she doesn’t orgasm from it as easily. What can I do so that she wants to do both? Or should I?

Thank you.

I would ask you to consider why you want vaginal. There are a number of different reasons some guys can struggle with the idea of going anal only.

  • You feel denied a part of your wife and your sex life and see it as a sort of closing off herself to you in a way. Instead, recognize that it’s more of her opening up her most intimate and pleasurable part of herself to you fully and wanting to focus more fully on the thing you do together that give her the most pleasure.
  • You fear that excluding an option for sex will result in less variety and make sex more boring. This is a common concern that doesn’t actually hold up in practice most of the time. Anything can become boring, but most often people become bored of vaginal all the time—because vaginal is inherently pretty boring compared to anal, and anal gives a lot of opportunities for other variety and fun things that you can do to mix things up—butt plugs, ass to mouth, double anal, developing pure anal orgasms, and much more.
  • You think the preparation needed for anal will make sex less spontaneous. This can be solved with a bit of compromise—on your part, recognizing that it can take a little time and practice to get fully into the routine and that with practice there will be little preparation needed—and on her part, wearing butt plugs or using dildos in between having sex on a more regular basis, and establishing a daily cleaning routine in order to be ready for sex at any time.
  • You think that vaginal sex is something couples need to do in order to be normal. This may not be a conscious thought that you have, but it may drive your concerns about going anal only. Often, people admit that they don’t enjoy vaginal as much as anal, but they still do it anyway because that’s what people do and that’s the “normal” way to have sex. The reality is, there is no normal. Do what works best for you. If you prefer anal and find you don’t actually like vaginal all that much, why waste time on it? Focus on what you do enjoy.

Ultimately, consider also whether your wanting vaginal is more important than her enjoyment. Vaginal isn’t as enjoyable for her as anal, and that’s actually not that uncommon for a lot of women, so her wanting to focus on anal, the thing that is more fun and pleasurable for her, makes a lot of sense.

I’d suggest giving it a try for a few months and see how it goes. In practice, you’ll most likely find that you don’t miss vaginal sex at all and will quickly recognize the many benefits of being anal only and of having a partner who is thoroughly pleased with the type of sex she’s getting.

Message: Am I Normal?

Annabee: So I stumbled upon your blog. it has opening me up to a new world. When I was preteen-teen I touch my clit and it felt kinda good. but once I was 16 it started feeling awkward. so never really masturbated that much. when I did with my clit it just felt weird in a way that made me not want to touch myself. almost depressed so I just didn’t masturbate that much and I really only did cuz I thought it was weird that all my friends were talking about how great it felt and I was the complete opposite I thought I was weird. fast forward to now I’m 30 and happy to say a vaginal Virgin I just found your blog and I thought I’d give anal a try so I bought a toy and some warming lube. I’ve tried a few times but haven’t been able to orgasm yet. One thing I do love seeing and doing is ride my dildo and watch my close pussy in the mirror but Just thought I would share my story and also see if you had any suggestions to help me orgasm from just anal.

Thanks for sharing, and I’m glad that you have found the blog helpful and inspirational.

Regarding anal only orgasms, you can try some of the tips in this article on the subject. It can take some time for some people to get to the point where anal orgasms are easy, but it’s well worth it once you get there. Some also find it easier with a partner but more difficult when just masturbating.

If you don’t like clitoral stimulation, you may not prefer to go down this path, but some like or prefer combining clitoral stimulation with anal penetration.

Good luck! The more you explore anal, the more you’re going to love it.

Message: So Good to Feel Normal

Anonymous: I am so happy this blog exists because for many years I felt like I was such a freak for thinking the things you and others post about on this blog.

I have never had vaginal sex with a girl, because it doesn’t interest me or appeal to me at all, and I never will. I’ve only ever fucked girls in the ass. It’s been hard, though, and lots of girls act like I’m some kind of freak for wanting this.

I truly think anal sex is the only way anyone should have sex, and that vaginal sex is not just inferior, it’s wrong and shouldn’t be done at all. There are so many reasons, it doesn’t feel as good, it isn’t intimate in the same way as anal, it totally ruins a woman’s arousal and mood, and it’s just so unappealing. Anal is natural, vaginal isn’t.

Even though it took a while, I have an anal only girlfriend who believes the same as me and is completely anal only like me. We’ve been together for about a year now and things couldn’t be better. We don’t use her pussy or clit at all and neither of us ever want to. So I’m really glad your blog helped me feel normal and like I could ask girls again about an anal only relationship.

Always remember there really isn’t any such thing as “normal” when it comes to sexual preference. Anal only may be less common, but it’s totally normal and there’s nothing at all wrong with it. All that matters is that you’re happy and that you find a partner who shares your interests and preferences.

I’m very happy to hear that you have found just that, and it sounds like you’re perfect for each other. Enjoy your anal only life together.

Your Anal Only August Experiences

Though we haven’t promoted Anal Only August here for a while (which might change, given its popularity elsewhere!) there have definitely been other people practicing it this year. For those who missed it, fear not—there’s still No Pussy November later this year—but for anyone who did give Anal Only August a try, let us know how things went for you!

Message: I Love Anal

Anonymous: I found this blog by accident really, but I started reading it and kind of got hooked. I didn’t know anal only was a thing, but it totally makes sense. I love anal so much, I have pretty much since the first time I tried it. It kind of hurt that first time, but it felt so amazing I just kept going anyway and had my first orgasm from penetration without using my clit as a result, and I’ve never stopped doing anal since then. I hadn’t really thought about it that much before, but I’ve definitely been anal only for almost a year before when I had a boyfriend who loved anal as much as I do and that’s all we did, but it just sort of happened that way, we didn’t talk about it or decide to do it.

But now that I’m seeing that it’s a thing people choose to do, it has me really thinking about doing it again, this time on purpose. The idea is really interesting and exciting to me, actually, so I think I’m going to look for a new boyfriend who prefers anal and propose that we go anal only. I’m really looking forward to only having my ass fucked again!

Thanks for sharing, and glad to be able to help inspire you to go anal only (again)!

Message: Did I Cum?

Hi there.

While not anal only my dominant partner controls my sexual experience including when and how I orgasm. Generally speaking he does not allow me to orgasm often – in fact I have only been granted five orgasms in seven months!

He recently told me tho that I may cum freely from anal masturbation. I have been enjoying my effort. It feels fabulous to fuck my ass with my fingers and my dildo. When I do do my pussy gets so wet – it almost continuously flows with periodic spurts that feel great. I usually stop only because I feel overwhelmed or exhausted but not because I really feel done or sated.

Now I don’t think of what is happening as an orgasm. It doesn’t feel like an orgasm. It feels good. Sublime. And it does relieve pressure. But I’ve been comparing it more to a man getting his prostate milked than to an orgasm.

Reading your blog tho I see you often refer to anal orgasms as feeling different, leaving the woman still feeling aroused rather than sated. So my question to you is what I’m having an anal orgasm and because it is so different from a clit or pussy orgasm that I’m just not recognizing it as such? Or do others also experience the same mind boggling non orgasm milking that I’m describing and do they distinguish it from an anal orgasm?

Thank you!
DS Quean

Hi!

While different people have different experiences, anal orgasms do generally still act as a climax with strong muscle contractions, etc. While they often won’t eliminate your arousal in the same way a clitoral orgasm might, they can reduce it somewhat and you can still feel satisfied afterwards often even though you might want to keep going. (For some women, the opposite might be true and an anal orgasm can be more like a ruined orgasm instead, but that seems less common.)

I’ve heard the comparison between clitoral and anal orgasms as the difference between an orgasm concentrated right in the clit and a full body orgasm.

I suspect that while you might be experiencing a state that could lead to orgasm, your comparison to prostate milking might be more accurate—very pleasurable, but not a climax.

I welcome other people’s opinions on this as well, however!

The Amplification of Arousal With Anal

One of the more subtle but powerful effects of anal sex in general and the anal only lifestyle is the amplifying effects that it can have on arousal. For someone with an already powerful sex drive, this can be quite the intense increase, while for someone who might struggle with arousal or has a partner with a higher libido than they do, it can be an incredible gamechanger and help.

Anal Can Be Very Exciting

While anal sex is becoming increasingly popular and common, it’s still generally less common than vaginal sex, and so anal play and sex can be quite exciting and that excitement often translates into increased arousal about having and during anal sex.

However, it’s not only limited to those who are just getting started with anal. Anal only couples very frequently report an increase of arousal or desire that continues many years into their anal only relationship, and while it’s quite common for sex to become stagnant and vaginal to become boring, anal is far more likely to remain exciting and arousing for everyone.

Anal Stimulation is Arousing

The anus has a high concentration of nerve endings that make it one of the most sensitive sexual centers in the human body, and the rectum is in close proximity to other pleasure centers in a way that anal penetration easily stimulates, so it’s no surprise that anal stimulation and penetration not only feels really good, it can have an intense effect on arousal as well. Women who engage in anal sex frequently talk about how horny it makes them, and as they gain more experience, especially when shifting away from vaginal sex or clitoral stimulation to focus exclusively on anal, develop an anal arousal they can feel in their ass, and a craving for more anal sex.

The Effects of Anal Orgasms on Arousal

It’s pretty commonly known that vaginal and clitoral orgasms often result in a loss of arousal afterwards, with women losing interest in sex and even feeling bad or regretful or depressed afterwards. This unfortunate effect can result in an overall decrease in libido for some, but generally just puts an end to the fun for a while and makes people not feel very good about themselves. It’s also led to a growing interest in orgasm denial and edging for many women, which can provide pleasure and arousal without the negative side effects.

With anal sex and the anal only lifestyle, however, come the possibility of anal orgasms, which can be intensely pleasurable—often more so than vaginal or clitoral orgasms—but also for most women do not result in a loss of arousal afterwards. Women still feel great, and sexual, and horny, and happy post-orgasm, and can continue for more if they want, or just stay in that happy arousal-filled state of mind, put a plug in, and continue with their day. It’s a great sex-positive way to be, that fills one’s entire life with a state of sexuality and pleasure rather than only some occasional period of time.

So if arousal or loss of arousal post-orgasm has been an issue for you, continue the anal only lifestyle and pursuing pure anal orgasms without clitoral stimulation, and you’ll likely have a much more positive and enjoyable experience!

Message: Anal Sex Made Me Feel More Like a Woman

Monica: I found this site after searching the internet to see if there were other women like me. After reading some of the stories I wanted to tell you mine.

I am a 28 year old woman and I have Vaginismus, a condition which always made vaginal sex incredibly painful for me. My husband and I were high school sweethearts. When we fooled around in high school, any penetration of my vagina was excruciating.

After we married, I could only have sex for a few minutes (on those rare occassions I could) before I had to stop. My husband was always kind and understanding, making due with blowjobs or handjobs. I always felt like a failure. Worse, I felt like less of a woman who was unworthy of this man’s love. Although my husband tried to please me by going down on me, I never even came close to orgasm. We would occassionally watch porn together until I would get so horny I would try, failing more often then succeeding, then give him a blowjob.

One video we watched had a couple having anal sex. I watched with excitement as the woman on the video was penetrated anally and wondered if this could be the solution we so desperately wanted. I told my husband I wanted to try anal sex and he apprehensivly agreed. We knew enough to know it wasn’t going to be like the movie we watched. Suffering with Vaginismus, we always needed a lot of lubricant to accomplish penetration. My husband applied so much lube it was all over the bed. I laid on my back, my legs on my husband’s shoulders. He then placed the head of his penis against my ass. I took a couple of deep breaths and signaled him to continue. As he applied more pressure I felt my ass relax as he began entering me. I’m not going to lie, there was a little pain, but nothing like the pain I experienced during vaginal sex. After several minutes I became aware my husband was no longer sliding into me. I looked at him, afraid he was not enjoying the experience, and told him it was okay to keep going. That’s when he said he was all the way in. Then it happened. The thought that my husband was fully inside me for the first time and I felt almost no pain caused me to experience my first orgasm. As I began to orgasm, my ass began to tighten and loosen around him. I could feel his penis pulse as my husband experienced his own orgasm. As our mutual orgasms began to subside, he began to remove his penis. I told him not to. I actually told him I never wanted him to remove it. My husband, ever the joker, said he thought it might make social events a little awkward. To which we both had to laugh. He leaned over and we began to kiss. Within minutes I could feel his penis begin to harden, still inside me. Then he began slow, gentle thrusts as we gazed into each others faces, eyes locked on each other. I had never felt so loved or connected to this man as I did now. Within minutes we were both experiencing another orgasm. I never felt more like a woman than I did in this moment, fully pleasing my husband, and being fully pleased by him.

For the next couple of months we made up for lost time. We had sex every chance we had. We had sex all over the house. We tried every position we could get our bodies into. The more anal sex we had the better it got.

That was nine years ago. We never attempted vaginal sex again. While so many of the couples we know have stagnant sex lives, we usually have sex five times a week. My husband and I feel incredibly connected. In a way, we credit my Vaginismus for our incredible sex life and incredible marriage.

Although many women with Vaginismus may find anal sex just as painful, I believe there are many who could benefit as I did by having an open mind and trying anal sex.

Thanks for sharing your story. I’m sorry that vaginal sex caused such a struggle in your sex life and your relationship with your husband in the past, but I’m so glad to hear that you were able to discover anal sex and enjoy the anal only lifestyle going forward from there.

Anal can be a gamechanger for many women with vaginismus and similar conditions. While, as you note, sometimes it can affect anal as well, more often than not anal is significantly easier to enjoy than vaginal, as you discovered. I’ve talked with numerous women over the years with similar stories, who had struggled with sex and intimacy due to vaginal discomfort or pain, and who found that going anal only and excluding vaginal penetration entirely provided the pleasure, sexual expression, and intimacy they’d been missing.

While there are absolute benefits to going anal only for almost everyone, it’s very obviously advantageous in circumstances like yours where vaginal sex is actively painful and essentially impossible to do with any sort of enjoyment. Hopefully, with the growing shift towards anal positivity and openness, doctors begin recommending anal as the alternative rather than women continuing to suffer through painful vaginal sex, or undergoing surgery for something unnecessary when anal is a better option anyway.

Forum: Anal Only 2019 Update, Part 2

In a follow-up to last week’s featured forum post, the conversation continues in very interesting ways:

The elimination of clitoral stimulation has lead to much longer, intense orgasms and multiple orgasms. She never had multiple orgasms with clitoral stimulation. As well, it seems like she has these really great orgasms that wipe her out, yet she can become aroused again in a very short period of time. It really has been a great thing for us. The only down side to this is that she’s doing less ass to mouth. We talked about it, and both realized that she usually did it when the clitoral stimulation became to much for her, but she wasn’t ready to cum. After I pointed out the fact I really missed it, she has made more of an effort, but it just doesn’t seem as exciting to her as it did. Don’t get me wrong, she still does ass to mouth just about every time, it just went from 3 or 4 times to once. I’m thankful she’s willing to do it at all, let alone enjoy doing it.

So far this weekend we’ve had sex Friday night, Saturday morning, Saturday afternoon, and Saturday night. Then, she woke me up about 2AM and told me she had been having a sex dream and we fucked again. She got off every time, with the exception of Saturday morning. She’s still asleep now, but I’m hoping she’ll be up to it this morning when she wakes, as I’m ready to go writing this. 

Whenever I think about it, I’m in constant disbelief I have a wife that loves anal sex as much as I do, to the point of the total elimination of direct vaginal or clitoral stimulation. Every day I still feel like I’m going to wake up and find it was all a crazy sex dream.

LuvMyWifesAss, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

It makes sense that without clitoral stimulation, she’s not as horny and willing to do ass to mouth. Personally, I’d tell her to start rubbing her clit again if she wants to that I could get some more ass to mouth. Once a session is alright, obviously, if that’s okay with you but I would want more ass to mouth, not less over time. It seems like she would do it on her own being so horny. Now she does it because you were missing it and really wanted it.

hasani2222, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Quite the opposite. The reason she was doing more ass to mouth before is because the clitoral stimulation would become too intense for her and she would need to stop. Otherwise, she would cum before she was ready. It’s almost like anal only, without clit stimulation, is self regulating. She now has longer deeper orgasms and only cums when she’s ready to. It’s as if anal alone gives her the perfect amount of stimulation and cause her orgasms to happen only when they are supposed to. 

She’s now firmly in agreement that she enjoys sex more without clitoral stimulation, and that her orgasms are better. 

With clit stimulation her orgasms come on fast and are done. She feels less satisfied. Clitoral orgasms, even with anal stimulation seem very localized, where her anal only orgasms seem to encompass her whole body.

LuvMyWifesAss, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Continue reading on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Forum: Anal Only 2019 Update

From LuvMyWifesAss on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum:

I wanted to provide everyone an update as to how were’s doing. It’s day 181 of the year, just short of half way through the year. We’re well on track to meet our goal of having anal sex at least 365 times this year. We’ve now had anal sex 208 times. What’s almost as great is that my wife has continued, with only a couple of exceptions, to do it without clitoral stimulation. She’s having more orgasms than ever and her libido seems higher. What’s amazing to us is that we are having some of the best sex of our lives, and more often.

Continue reading on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum