Anonymous: I totally agree with your encouragement for girls to keep their vaginas virgin and to start with anal and only ever do sex that way. I’m in my 30s and I only did anal until my early 20s before I decided to start using my pussy too, basically out of laziness, in order to be easier to date and fuck guys. I never really enjoyed it, and spent a few years kind of miserable and unsatisfied as the guys I dated spent all their time there and barely paid attention to my ass.

After I got out of a long vaginal only relationship where I was really hating myself for what I’d become, I took some time for myself and got back into playing with my ass, wearing butt plugs and riding dildos anally almost every day. I really loved it, and it wasn’t until this time that I was really conscious about what an important role anal and being anal only played for me. I followed one of your anal only challenges and only masturbated anally—not even my clit, as I’ve always been able to orgasm anally and I thought stopping all use of my pussy and clit would be the best way to refocus my sex life back where it belongs—for an entire month, and I’ve just kept going since. I started dating again and was much more selective, making it clear that I’m only interested in anal. I had some good hookups with guys who were okay with skipping my pussy and going straight for my ass.

And now I’m a few months into a new relationship with a guy who loves anal almost as much as I do. Things are going great, and we’re both really happy with being anal only. But I really wish I hadn’t spent so many years wasting my life on vaginal and my biggest regret is that I didn’t stay a vaginal virgin. So if you’re a vaginal virgin right now who is interested in or practicing the anal only lifestyle, listen to the advice and stay that way. You’ll never regret being an anal only vaginal virgin, but you will regret giving up your vaginal virginity.

Thank you for sharing, and well said! As I’ve commented before, you can only give up your vaginal virginity once, so if you have hesitations about doing so, don’t do it. If you do, it’s not the biggest deal in the world, and you can (and likely will, as you’ve discovered) end up back in the anal only lifestyle eventually because vaginal will never compare to the pleasures and benefits of being purely anal only, but there’s something special about choosing to keep your vagina completely unused and focusing purely on anal pleasure and sex, so if that’s still an option for you—take it!

A member of the /r/analonlylifestyle subreddit asks:

I’m a straight male and I honestly have no interest in putting my penis in a vagina at any point in time. It just doesn’t appeal to me, the thought of it. I’ll eat a girl out any day, don’t get me wrong, I just don’t want to put my penis inside. However, I LOVE anal. Will do it any chance i get. Is this weird of me, or make me gay?…

No! This is not weird. No! This does not make you gay. Preferring anal sex over vaginal is normal, and should be encouraged and reinforced, not treated as something strange, unusual or in some way bad. It’s the natural state of being for many men, but we’ve been conditioned as a society to treat the vagina as the norm instead and pretend to prefer it out of fear of being ostracized. We love women and sex with women, we just aren’t interested in vaginal sex. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

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Anal Only Lifestyle Forum member kingsman asks the following:

I’d love to know how everyone else feels when they become members of the anal only club. For myself, I feel incredibly privileged that my woman wants to share herself this way with me exclusively. I feel lucky and know I’d be the envy of most men if they knew about this part of my life. I’ve also felt much more energised last 6 months or so. Had a spring in my step you might say! 

It’s much more than just the sex, which is great by the way. I feel appreciated by my girlfriend that goes way beyond anything I used to feel with my ex-wife. I guess it’s about the trust she has for me and how special that makes me. In return I’m way more into her than any other woman I’ve known.

There are multiple responses, and the discussion is ongoing, but here’s one highlight:

Loved, sexy, special, vulnerable. Too many emotions to list. My husband has become more vocal and expressive, praise and such, since we moved to anal. I feel more comfortable in my self too but that could just be my body recovery post birth and pregnancy. Also a little bit of pride in that I can do this. It has relieved the pressure of performance and expectations when we have sex. As a result anal sex is less of a big deal and if anything more spontaneous which is almost the opposite to what I would have thought. Sorry I could go on and on but these are the things that I can think of for now.

kokay, Anal Only Lifestyle Forum

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A lot of people approach the anal only lifestyle as a kink, another facet in their sex life that they choose to incorporate because it’s exciting or new or relates to other kinks they have. And there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s perfectly valid to do it for that reason. But it’s not the only reason that people are anal only.

Inherent Anal Attraction

There are many out there, men and women both, who early in their life discovered that their primary attraction and sexual interest was in anuses and anal play rather than vaginal. Over time and further exploration, this inherent attraction grows into full grown preference for anal over vaginal and gets reinforced by increased experiences.

Whether truly inherent from birth or shaped by early experiences and physical differences from person to person, the result is a total preference for anal sex and an inability to be truly happy with or satisfied by vaginal. That’s not a kink, it’s just a reality.

Medical Reasons for Anal Only

From natural physical differences that make vaginal sex less pleasurable, or even painful, to changes over time, there are many different medical reasons for women to primarily or exclusively focus on anal sex rather than vaginal.

Vaginismus, various forms of vaginal agenesis, and other medical conditions that make vaginal penetration extremely painful or even impossible, lead to a lot of young women taking the anal route instead when they start having sex. Some undergo treatment to make vaginal sex possible, but it’s still common to prefer anal instead—both because it may be what they started with first and learned to enjoy more easily, and because it’s just the more natural option for them.

After women give birth, it’s very common for vaginal sex to no longer be as pleasurable or interesting for them. While not universally true, it’s a common complaint, and it’s becoming an increasingly common reaction to this to shift towards anal and the anal only lifestyle instead. It’s also very consistent with the idea that vaginal sex is for reproductive purposes, and once you’ve given birth and are no longer going to have any more children, there’s no reason to have vaginal sex anymore and should just focus on anal.

Older women as well can have difficulty enjoying vaginal sex, especially post-menopause, and often become much more open to trying anal instead, finding it much more pleasurable and appealing than vaginal.

Anal Is the Only Option

For gay men and a majority of trans women, anal can physically be the only option for sexual intercourse. This doesn’t make it any less special or ideal—it could be argued, in fact, that it just automatically eliminates inferior options and leaves them with the ideal form of sex right from the start—but it isn’t a choice for them, and so the idea of treating it as a sort of kink is incorrect here as well.

Vaginal is a Kink Too

The only reason that people don’t see a vaginal-centric lifestyle as a kink is because our culture still treats vaginal as the normal default. But in an anal-centric world, choosing to have vaginal sex recreationally would be seen as a strange kink in the same way that vaginal-centric people see the anal only lifestyle as such.

Note: while this article is also about vaginal penetration, the data shared as it relates to anal orgasm is still relevant and interesting for the topics this blog explores.

At Lioness, we are all about exploring our bodies through the biofeedback graphs to learn how our orgasms and pleasure change from things like weed lube, concussions, alcohol and more. We always theoretically knew from a study done in the 80’s that anal muscles contract in a similar fashion to the pelvic floor and vaginal muscles during an orgasm, but my friend Charles was right…we should be practicing what we preach! So, I got two Lioness vibrators, thick water-based lube, and went to double penetration town and lived to tell the story.

After comparison, she discovers that while anal and vaginal orgasms trigger muscle contractions in a very similar way, anal orgasms are much stronger and more intense:

As you can see, they’re almost identical to each other during the same session except for two distinct differences:

The data from the anal Lioness toy is registering at a MUCH higher force throughout the entire masturbation session and the orgasm itself.

The anal orgasm has a larger peak-to-peak amplitude, meaning those anal muscles relax and squeeze stronger than my vaginal muscles during orgasm.

Read the full article and see the associated charts at Lioness

At first she said it felt weird but was willing to keep doing it because I liked it so much. I would always be gentle. Then I decided to do it more rough than usual, and she was really turned on and enjoyed it very much. Now, she never turns it down and requests it regularly over vaginal sex.

So begins a discussion on Quora, which actually receives a great deal of thoughtful and accurate responses. Here are a few:

Here’s the thing to understand: women very rarely experience orgasm from vaginal sex. They almost always need clitoral stimulation to orgasm.
Anal sex stimulates the clitoris. The clitoris we see is simply the tip of the iceberg, and the organ extends deep into the abdomen and wraps around the uterus. Anal sex actually stimulates the clitoris during penetration.
As such, many women greatly enjoy anal sex for precisely this reason. Your wife is no different.
There is absolutely no reason to be concerned here. If your wife loves being fucked in the ass, then get fucking that ass, son.

Jeremy Glenesk, Quora

Yes, you absolutely need to be concerned!

You should be concerned that you’re giving her what she wants and needs!

The common phrase “whatever floats your boat” is an important one here, and in being a good lover in general. If your partner has any particular sexual needs, you should ask yourself:

Is this dangerous or harmful in any way?

Am I physically capable of doing what they ask?

Is this a kink too far for me?

And that’s it. In this particular case, none of these apparently apply to you.

In sex and food, people have widely varied tastes, and what some people think is a delicacy, others think is disgusting. If you were cooking for your wife and she liked artichokes and not cherry pie, would you insist on cooking cherry pie? Probably not. You’d probably accommodate her tastes for no other reason than because you like her and want to make her happy.

Do the same thing in bed.

Ernie Dunbar, Quora

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On Literotica, a real-world couple shares how they routinely have anal sex before sleep and their belief that anal sex isn’t meant to be some rare act but the primary form of sex in a relationship.

I became a liberated woman the minute I realized how strong my sex drive was, how much I wanted Jimmy’s dick in my ass, and that I shouldn’t apologize for that feeling. Anal sex isn’t a special treat that a woman doles out on rare occasions or is seduced into with alcohol or moonlight. The ancient Greeks had it right thousands of years ago before organized religions got involved with the message that “you shouldn’t be doing that.” The vagina is for baby making and the ass is for pleasure. This is especially true after a woman has had a couple of babies who have reshaped her. Instead of spending a lot of time trying to shrink your vagina, go anal. It’s something a woman craves if its done properly and she shouldn’t ashamed to admit that she’s addicted to it.

And the world’s greatest sleeping pill has tremendous health advantages. I get five hours of the deepest, most relaxing sleep (see the next chapter for what temporarily ends it), including three before midnight, which many doctors think are a huge health plus. I’ve never been seriously sick and think the way my night starts may contribute to this.

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So asks a Quora user, and fortunately they are almost universally given the correct and obvious answer, to only have anal sex and not waste any time on vaginal.

What’s the problem here? If anal sex is what gets you off, then the obvious answer here seems to be to engage in more anal sex.

Jeremy Glenesk, Quora

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My partner doesn’t mind anal sex, but she hates the time and prep needed for it. I read on this site that some couples have buttsex constantly and consistently, sometimes multiple times a day. I have to wonder how much is truth and how much is just fantasy. My partner wouldn’t mind doing an anal only thing, but it’s just impossible to do with the preparation needed behind it.

So I have to ask, to those who do it all the time,

How do you do it?

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After 9 years of marriage my wife now suddenly wants anal sex. First of all I’ll describe her. She’s 5’6’ with 34DD chest and a nice plump ass. Sex has always been good and last week while spooning her she grabs my hand and gestures it to her ass and I grab hold and she says “no I want you to slide a finger in my ass while you fuck me!’ Needless to say I did.

She seemed to really enjoy it and then she pulled my finger out and my cock and then directed my cock upwards and I knew what she wanted. So of course I obliged while at the same time being quite surprised by this. 

Ever since I’ve thought about it a lot and boy does it turn me on! She hasn’t mentioned why she suddenly wants anal sex and I’m not complaining! Just writing this turns me on and I hope she’s is wanting more as time goes on.

Has anyone else had this and did you find out why your wife/partner suddenly wanted anal sex?

This is a very common evolution as women get older and more sexually open minded. These days, young women are very into anal as well, but earlier generations were often less open to anal sex when they were younger and don’t discover the pleasures of anal or the fact that they actually prefer it until a bit later in life.

Every effort should be made to encourage this shift, and to give her as much anal pleasure as possible as often as possible to deepen her preference and obsession with anal. Over time, a shift to pure anal only is likely, so long as her anal experiences are positive and more frequent and pleasurable than vaginal.

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