Anonymous: My fiancé and I decided to be anal only when we first started dating because we wanted to be free to be sexual together and enjoy ourselves but I’d had really bad experiences with birth control before and we know we can’t afford to have a child at this time in our lives nor are we sure about raising children in this world. Anal only lets us be a complete and sexual couple with intimacy and have an awesome sex life but we don’t ever have to worry at all about getting pregnant or risking our futures.

I’ve seen you make similar comments and I wanted to share that it’s been very good for us in that way. In times like this where so many of us are trying to make our way in the world with very little resources it just makes sense to be anal only.

Thanks so much for sharing! I think there are a lot of good reasons to be anal only (including just “I like anal and want to do it all the time”!) but I completely agree that with the growing uncertainty in the world, difficulty for many people to support a family, and massive overpopulation, being anal only makes a lot of sense when it comes to the sense of security it provides with its inherent natural birth control.

And there’s a lot to be said for that. Other forms of birth control are expensive, have side effects, and can in some cases really make sex worse. Anal makes sex better, boosts arousal, and gives you the confidence to have as much sex as you want without risk of pregnancy ever being a part of it.

I encourage going anal only for anyone that wants a free, positive sex life without any involvement of procreation. It just makes sense.

Anonymous: I have an uncircumcised penis of length 5.6″ and will it be ok for anal sex ? will analingus, anal penetration, cunnilingus and felatio go one after the other during sex and which lubricant is best for anal sex?

Circumcised and uncircumcised penises are both fine for anal sex, and you just need to wash after sex and urinate.

The order of sexual activities is largely up to you and your partner and what you both want, though you shouldn’t have vaginal sex after anal sex without cleaning first.

As for lubricants, we have a Guide to Anal Lubricants that you can read through.

A recent comment on our Discord server sparked an interesting topic on one reason that vaginal gets old but anal never does.

BackDoorBeth: The biggest difference I have noticed to with Vaginal and Anal too is that with vaginal. It can get stale after awhile. Anal is more of a challenge to keep stretching your hole and making it better and better.

This is a very true observation—with anal, the muscles have a natural inclination to tighten and close back up, so by having anal sex regularly you’re constantly up against the challenge of loosening and relaxing the muscles, which keeps you more actively engaged in sex. Vaginal, by contrast, is “easier” and so quickly can become boring.

Being invested in something often makes it more rewarding, and that’s part of why the anal only lifestyle can feel so much more than vaginal. There’s a lot more to it than that, of course, but that fundamental feeling of pride and joy in your expression and enjoyment of anal sexuality, and in your growth through additional training and improving your anal skills clearly comes from this dynamic.

What have your own experiences been in this regard?

Jadou: I am a vaginal virgin and I wish to remain so. I have been training for several months alone and I have found a man since June with whom I only do anal. I like it a lot but the problem is that in order to cum I need to touch my clit. And when I do that, the urge to be penetrated by the vagina is strong. how can I stop having this rather frustrating urge which prevents me from fully appreciating my man? Sometimes i wish i didn’t have a vagina at all….

Congratulations on the decision to remain a vaginal virgin and on finding a partner to explore anal only together with!

Clit stimulation can come with a lot of unfortunate side effects, and that urge and association with vaginal penetration can be one of them for some women. I would suggest gradually reducing or phasing out clit stimulation at least for a while and see if you can instead learn to orgasm purely from anal penetration, which is not only a better orgasm for many women, it doesn’t typically have those same associations or side effects of clit orgasms.

It could also help to put tape over your vagina, or use a numbing cream like orajel to reduce sensation and urges for clit stimulation or vaginal penetration, at least while first working to move away from those urges.

It also can help just to get deeper into the mindset of being anal only and a vaginal virgin and your strong desire to remain as such and how you’d regret it if you gave into those urges. Try to remind yourself of that when you feel the urges, and also when you aren’t feeling the urges it can help to repeat to yourself how much you love being an anal only vaginal virgin and don’t want to have vaginal sex. Consciously you already know this, but it can help your subconscious with the urges.

Hope that this helps you, and please let us know how it goes!

First, semen anywhere helps a woman’s sex drive regardless if it’s left in a vagina, ass, or mouth. The mouth is probably the least effective being that the acids in the stomach can destroy the testosterone, while the vagina or colon would absorb much more effectively. The colon being the quickest and most effective.  This is the reason why some quick-acting seizure medications are inserted rectally – the body absorbs chemicals the fastest through the colon walls, semen/testosterone included.  And this is why anal sex and semen in the anus is likely to have the biggest effect on a woman’s mood and dependency.

Below I will piece together a few articles and let the reader decide. As far as I know, this claim has not been proven and it originally started when my wife, Venice, started to leave my sperm in her ass after anal sex. For whatever reason, it seemed a bit cleaner to pull out in the last few seconds and put my head in her ass and unload. She liked it, I thought it was a bit more kinky, and her vagina always stayed fresh to eat, not that my sperm has ever scared me away. However, it definitely was much fresher (no day old sperm). If her ass wasn’t as fresh, well… it’s her ass.

We immediately noticed that her sex drive shot through the roof. She began wanting to deepthroat me. In fact, this sparked her entire need to deepthroat (see “Deepthroating – My Introduction”). She went from initiating sex 10% of the time to 75% of the time, and she demanded that I cum inside her, especially in her ass.

Unsure of exactly what was happening, whether it was her maturing sexually, her age, or the semen in her ass, I began to experiment. For weeks at a time I would only cum in her mouth or vagina and slowly her sex drive would decline. She didn’t notice, but as a man, I did. If I came in her ass, within the next 15 minutes and lasting for the next 48 hours, it seemed to affect her libido. Her oral would change from slow and pleasant, to aggressive and demanding. Her sex talk would go from dirty to extremely dirty, especially when she talked about my cum.

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Anonymous: What are your thoughts on straight men who enjoy receptive anal? I’m asking since it seems more stigmatized than anal with women or non-straight men.

I think that anal sex, anal play, and the anal only lifestyle can be enjoyed by and is open to everyone. Personally, my primary interest is in women who make the conscious decision to not have vaginal sex in favor of anal only, and that influences the content here to some degree, but you’ll find that within the broader community there are a wide variety of male and female cis- and transgender people who enjoy and embrace the anal only lifestyle.

A common concern by people considering the idea of going anal only is that they will miss vaginal sex. Some enjoy vaginal even if not as much as anal, others don’t even really enjoy it and do anal a vast majority of the time already but still think they’ll miss it if they stop doing vaginal, or that they will be abnormal if they don’t do it at least some of the time.

The reality is, though, that the majority of people who try stopping vaginal sex and only doing anal for a month or more realize they aren’t missing anything at all and only want to do anal going forward.

If you’re curious about the anal only lifestyle, or if you just find yourself preferring anal sex and wonder about doing more, or exclusively anal, but have concerns about doing anal only long term, the best way to discover what works best for you is to simply try it—go anal only for a month or two, and see how it works for you. Chances are you won’t want to go back to vaginal sex.

No Pussy November starts in two weeks, and can be the perfect opportunity to explore anal only for at least a month. If you haven’t decided to try it yet, here’s your chance! But if November doesn’t work for you or you’re reading this at a later time, any time is a good time to try being anal only!

My wife and I seemed to just gravitate toward no vaginal penetration, but she still used clitoral stimulation. When I proposed we try anal only, without clit stimulation, she was skeptical. Within a couple of weeks, she was having the best orgasms of her life. Now, she agrees anal sex, without the distraction of vaginal penetration or clitoral stimulation makes anal sex so much more intense and results in better orgasms. With clitoral stimulation, she used to build up to orgasm quickly, then have her orgasm, and crash. Now, she has long, intense, orgasms. What’s more, she doesn’t have the crash afterward and remains more stimulated, resulting in her wanting sex more often.

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We’re getting closer to the best time of the year again—after eight years in a row, No Pussy November still remains our flagship month each year to celebrate anal sex, the anal only lifestyle, and to encourage new people who aren’t yet anal only to challenge themselves to trying it for a solid month and seeing what it’s like.

If you’re new to the anal only lifestyle and you want to give it a try, this is a great time and way to do it! Talk with your partner now in advance of November and make sure you’re both on board with the idea, or if you’re single and want to try it with toys, get yourself to the point where you’re comfortable with anal masturbation on a regular basis—at least 3 to 5 times a week, if not every day.

If you’re already anal only, there are plenty of other things that you can try as a No Pussy November challenge this year!

• If you still use clitoral stimulation, you can challenge yourself to stop and focus purely on anal pleasure and anal orgasms. The more you go without your clit and rely on anal only to orgasm, the easier anal orgasms get!
• If you aren’t wearing a butt plug regularly, you can challenge yourself to wear one at some increased interval, or to spend the entire month plugged as often as possible. If you want to reach the latter goal but aren’t quite there yet, you could work yourself up to that point over the course of the month.
• You can challenge yourself to make ass to mouth a regular part of your sex life, normalizing it by doing it every time you have sex this November.
• You can start to introduce double anal to your sex life, either through play with two dildos, a partner and a dildo, or two partners.

Along the lines of that latter idea, for those who are particularly interested or experienced with double anal, we’re introducing an official advanced challenge this year: Double Anal Only November, where those who want to or are able to masturbate regularly with two dildos in their ass or have double anal sex regularly spend the entire month only having double anal sex every time they have sex. Naturally, this is going to be somewhat limited to people who have multiple partners who want to have double anal with them, but you can also participate by always using a toy along with their partner to achieve double anal, or by masturbating with a minimum of two toys in your ass at a time.

What are your plans? Let us know!

Anonymous: Hi! I’m 21, and I started my sexuality about one year and a half ago with an experienced boyfriend who taught me everything I know about sex.

Back then, when we started talking about doing it, he told me he was paranoid about unwanted pregnancy and didn’t trust condoms, so he suggested we do anal sex. I wasn’t against anal, but I didn’t want that as my first sexual experience. I offered alternatives like taking the pill, but every time, he would find some reason to decline and go back to his suggestion to only do anal, which led me to believe he was just finding excuses.

For four weeks, we only did hugging, kissing, caressing each other and oral sex. He patiently taught me how to give good blowjobs, and he would lick my anus. Little by little, he would massage my anus with his fingers and penetrate it a bit. Eventually, I gave up, and agreed to do anal sex.

I must say he was really nice and good at it: he bought me an enema pear and taught me how to use it (he even gave me a few enemas, it was humiliating but it was also hot somehow, and he gave good advice), he told me which diet I should follow, he advised me to masturbate only my ass when we couldn’t see each other, he explained the right postures and attitudes I should take during sex, and he went very slow on my ass, using only his fingers for the first sessions. Eventually, it was me who begged him to fuck my ass with his cock, and I had a lot of pleasure right away.

During all this time, we only did anal, and he discouraged me to touch my clit or vagina, telling me it would spoil the pleasure I got during sex. Anal just became an everyday normal thing, and eventually, I could take him easily and casually.

Our relationship eventually ended (not because of sex), and I got a new boyfriend, a good friend of his actually. But the problem is, the idea of vaginal sex now doesn’t appeal to me and actually terrifies me, I’d really like to resume the sexuality I’ve been following so far. I don’t know how to announce it to my new boyfriend without sounding like a complete slut, I only found excuses so far to avoid penetration, but he’s getting impatient, and is tired of me only giving him blowjobs, no matter how good they are.

What should I do? Should I open up to the idea of vaginal sex? In what way and with what words should I tell him I’d like anal penetration only? Thanks for your help.

Thanks for sharing your experiences, it sounds like you had an excellent introduction to anal sex and the anal only lifestyle with your ex-boyfriend, and he helped you see the benefits of being anal only and staying a vaginal virgin. It also sounds like that’s what you really want now, and if that’s the case, then I encourage sticking up for your desires and staying anal only!

As for how to tell your new boyfriend, just talk to him. Be honest. Communication is an important part of any relationship, and this is an important thing to communicate about. Tell him that you’d love to start having sex with him but that you’re an anal only girl and while you don’t want to do vaginal sex, you’d love to do anal and oral with him as often as he wants. If he’s like most guys, he’ll come around to the idea pretty quickly once he realizes he really can have anal sex with you all the time and cum in your ass without any fear of pregnancy.

I hope that helps, and please let us know how it goes!