Category: Anal Sex


Message: Anal Dilemma

Ronald: Hi, I found your blog when I was searching Google for advice on my situation and it seems like you might be able to help me.

My wife and I enjoy anal sex often but she recently asked me if we can stop having vaginal sex because she doesn’t enjoy it as much as anal. Now I love anal, but I don’t want to stop using her pussy either.

She says vaginal hurts sometimes and is harder to get turned on by and she doesn’t orgasm from it as easily. What can I do so that she wants to do both? Or should I?

Thank you.

I would ask you to consider why you want vaginal. There are a number of different reasons some guys can struggle with the idea of going anal only.

  • You feel denied a part of your wife and your sex life and see it as a sort of closing off herself to you in a way. Instead, recognize that it’s more of her opening up her most intimate and pleasurable part of herself to you fully and wanting to focus more fully on the thing you do together that give her the most pleasure.
  • You fear that excluding an option for sex will result in less variety and make sex more boring. This is a common concern that doesn’t actually hold up in practice most of the time. Anything can become boring, but most often people become bored of vaginal all the time—because vaginal is inherently pretty boring compared to anal, and anal gives a lot of opportunities for other variety and fun things that you can do to mix things up—butt plugs, ass to mouth, double anal, developing pure anal orgasms, and much more.
  • You think the preparation needed for anal will make sex less spontaneous. This can be solved with a bit of compromise—on your part, recognizing that it can take a little time and practice to get fully into the routine and that with practice there will be little preparation needed—and on her part, wearing butt plugs or using dildos in between having sex on a more regular basis, and establishing a daily cleaning routine in order to be ready for sex at any time.
  • You think that vaginal sex is something couples need to do in order to be normal. This may not be a conscious thought that you have, but it may drive your concerns about going anal only. Often, people admit that they don’t enjoy vaginal as much as anal, but they still do it anyway because that’s what people do and that’s the “normal” way to have sex. The reality is, there is no normal. Do what works best for you. If you prefer anal and find you don’t actually like vaginal all that much, why waste time on it? Focus on what you do enjoy.

Ultimately, consider also whether your wanting vaginal is more important than her enjoyment. Vaginal isn’t as enjoyable for her as anal, and that’s actually not that uncommon for a lot of women, so her wanting to focus on anal, the thing that is more fun and pleasurable for her, makes a lot of sense.

I’d suggest giving it a try for a few months and see how it goes. In practice, you’ll most likely find that you don’t miss vaginal sex at all and will quickly recognize the many benefits of being anal only and of having a partner who is thoroughly pleased with the type of sex she’s getting.

Article: Your Complete Guide To Butt Plugs — One Of The Best Sex Toys Ever Invented

So what makes a butt plug different than a dildo or vibrator? While there are many toys designed for anal use, a butt plug tends to have a couple distinguishing characteristics.

A plug is designed to go in and stay in for the duration of its use. While, theoretically, you could absolutely maneuver a plug in and out if you wanted to, folks tend to use dildos for the “in-and-out” sensation. That’s because plugs have a tapered shape that begins small at the top, becomes large in the middle, and tapers back down to a slim diameter at the neck of the toy right before the flared base at the bottom. The thin neck allows for the sphincter to close a bit more so that the plug can be retained inside the body and worn comfortably.

Unlike other anal toys, plugs can easily be worn over longer periods of time. Many people enjoy wearing them for the duration of their playtime, and some folks enjoy going out with a butt plug inserted all night. You can also opt to wear a plug for just a few moments.

Continue reading on Refinery29

Support the Anal Only Lifestyle Community on Patreon

I’ll preface this by saying that I don’t intend to make a habit of such posts, but many people are unaware that we have a Patreon page, so the occasional reminder serves to let everyone know.

This community and blog cost time and a little bit of money to keep active, and I’ve been doing it for about six years now. If you enjoy or find value in the content posted here, the forum, the Discord server, or any other part of the community, I’d ask that you consider supporting my work through Patreon and help me justify spending more time to keep producing a larger amount of original content and articles for everyone to enjoy.

I’m not making any of the primary content members-only or anything, but patrons do get access to a special forum and Discord channel, as well as polls on Patreon itself, where they can share, vote and help guide the direction of content they would like to see going forward.

Support the Anal Only Lifestyle on Patreon!

Message: Top 3 Reasons for Anal Only?

Mrk: Can you give the top 3 reasons for men and 3 for women for joining the AO lifestyle?

I can’t speak for everyone, so I can’t say these are the top three, but here are a few reasons.

For Men

  • It’s a tighter, grippier sensation than vaginal, and a lot of men enjoy how it feels more.
  • It’s more visually appealing, and vaginas look better empty while anuses look better and sexier filled.
  • You can have sex much deeper than with vaginal.
  • Men like butts and the idea of having sex with them is pretty inherently appealing to many.
  • It’s easy to get quickly bored with vaginal sex, but anal sex doesn’t get boring in the same way and inspires arousal and excitement for a lifetime in comparison.
  • It allows a deeper, more intimate connection.
  • It’s different and less common, and the idea of fully replacing vaginal sex with anal and abandoning the vagina completely can be very exciting.
  • There’s very little risk of getting pregnant compared to vaginal.

For Women

  • Anal is a more intense sensation than vaginal, which can often be fairly bland in comparison. The feeling of being filled is also much more intense.
  • Anal orgasms are also more intense, and in many cases easier to achieve than vaginal orgasms. Anal orgasms without clitoral stimulation also don’t have the post-orgasm low that often comes from clit orgasms.
  • For those who enjoy feeling submissive, the idea of giving up one’s vagina for pure anal penetration only can feel like a very submissive act. However, for those who aren’t into dominance/submission play, anal and the anal only lifestyle can be enjoyed on their own merits as well.
  • Just as for men, being anal only can be an extremely intimate act, far more than vaginal.
  • It’s natural birth control without the negative effects of artificial hormonal birth control, allowing pleasure and sexuality without the baggage of pregnancy risk.

Article: How To Have An Orgasm From Anal Sex

If you have a vagina, the odds are that you need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. But there are some lucky people who report that they’ve achieved a less common type of climax: the near-mythical anal orgasm.

An anal orgasm is exactly what it sounds like — getting off by stimulating the anus. Most people associate anal orgasms with people who have penises, since they have a prostate (a gland located inside the anal canal that’s considered a “potent pleasure point”). But even though people with vaginas don’t have a prostate, sex experts and doctors say it’s possible for them to achieve an anal orgasm. After all, some women can come without their genitals being touched at all. So why write off the possibility of getting off from booty action?

Anal orgasms are possible for people with vaginas because of the anus’ proximity to the nerve endings of the vaginal wall and pelvic floor, says Evan Goldstein, DO, founder of Bespoke Surgical. By having butt sex, you can pleasure your vagina from indirect contact, he says. Not to mention, your anal opening and the inside of your butt are erogenous zones in and of themselves. Even if you don’t get off from anal play alone, the anus is a part of the body riddled with nerve endings that, when stimulated properly, can provide an array of sensual delights.

Continue reading on Refinery29

Message: Am I Normal?

Annabee: So I stumbled upon your blog. it has opening me up to a new world. When I was preteen-teen I touch my clit and it felt kinda good. but once I was 16 it started feeling awkward. so never really masturbated that much. when I did with my clit it just felt weird in a way that made me not want to touch myself. almost depressed so I just didn’t masturbate that much and I really only did cuz I thought it was weird that all my friends were talking about how great it felt and I was the complete opposite I thought I was weird. fast forward to now I’m 30 and happy to say a vaginal Virgin I just found your blog and I thought I’d give anal a try so I bought a toy and some warming lube. I’ve tried a few times but haven’t been able to orgasm yet. One thing I do love seeing and doing is ride my dildo and watch my close pussy in the mirror but Just thought I would share my story and also see if you had any suggestions to help me orgasm from just anal.

Thanks for sharing, and I’m glad that you have found the blog helpful and inspirational.

Regarding anal only orgasms, you can try some of the tips in this article on the subject. It can take some time for some people to get to the point where anal orgasms are easy, but it’s well worth it once you get there. Some also find it easier with a partner but more difficult when just masturbating.

If you don’t like clitoral stimulation, you may not prefer to go down this path, but some like or prefer combining clitoral stimulation with anal penetration.

Good luck! The more you explore anal, the more you’re going to love it.

Natural Attraction to Anal Sex

As the anal only community has grown and more people have talked about their experiences, more people—especially men, but also a number of women—have spoken up about the fact that they had a natural attraction to and preference for anal sex over vaginal. In many cases, when growing up, they’ve found themselves attracted to asses and anuses, rather than vaginas and vaginal sex, and in turn have found that this preference carried over to sex as well.

Among those who are still in the depths of ignorance and stigma surrounding anal sex, the idea of men having an aversion to vaginal sex and preferring anal is commonly derided as a sign that he is gay and doesn’t like women, but this is far from the truth—whether heterosexual or bisexual, a preference for anal is just that, and has nothing to do with liking or being attracted to women in general. On top of that, more women are speaking up about having such a preference to anal as well—many discovering that later, but some themselves figuring it out early on in their lives.

All this is a fairly clear sign of the increasingly obvious fact that for some, being anal only comes completely naturally and that anal sexuality and centrism is a normal and natural sexual preference on the level of a sexual orientation. For many others, it’s something discovered later in life, but fits their needs so perfectly once they do try it out.

Article: If You’re Not Ready For Anal Sex, Try Anal Fingering

Have you ever heard of anal fingering? It’s exactly what it sounds like — putting a finger (or several) into someone’s anus. And if you’re considering anal sex, anal fingering could be a logical first step. Even if you don’t want to move on to using a penis or dildo for anal, fingering can be erotic for anyone involved. Everyone’s anus has lots of nerve endings around the opening and inside that can feel good when they’re played with. But there are some ground rules you need to learn before you give it a try.

Continue reading on Refinery29

Discussion: Prefer Anal Over Vaginal Sex

I am just curious if others prefer anal over vaginal sex..I was diagnosed with having uterine fibroids which cause me to have bad cramps and pain everyday plus I am going through menopause so I have vaginal dryness..When we start foreplay I am fine but not long after I dry up so I much prefer anal cause it seems to feel better plus I can orgasm…I thought about using creams for the dryness but kinds concerned of the affects from the creams…Anyone else experience the same problem and prefer anal?

melvinshelley2019, WeddingBee forums

A majority of the responses from other women are negative towards anal, with some even bringing up the same old myths of health risks from anal, but several women express their own enjoyment of anal or share that they similarly enjoy anal most and find vaginal uncomfortable or painful, or started out anal only.

Continue reading on WeddingBee

Message: So Good to Feel Normal

Anonymous: I am so happy this blog exists because for many years I felt like I was such a freak for thinking the things you and others post about on this blog.

I have never had vaginal sex with a girl, because it doesn’t interest me or appeal to me at all, and I never will. I’ve only ever fucked girls in the ass. It’s been hard, though, and lots of girls act like I’m some kind of freak for wanting this.

I truly think anal sex is the only way anyone should have sex, and that vaginal sex is not just inferior, it’s wrong and shouldn’t be done at all. There are so many reasons, it doesn’t feel as good, it isn’t intimate in the same way as anal, it totally ruins a woman’s arousal and mood, and it’s just so unappealing. Anal is natural, vaginal isn’t.

Even though it took a while, I have an anal only girlfriend who believes the same as me and is completely anal only like me. We’ve been together for about a year now and things couldn’t be better. We don’t use her pussy or clit at all and neither of us ever want to. So I’m really glad your blog helped me feel normal and like I could ask girls again about an anal only relationship.

Always remember there really isn’t any such thing as “normal” when it comes to sexual preference. Anal only may be less common, but it’s totally normal and there’s nothing at all wrong with it. All that matters is that you’re happy and that you find a partner who shares your interests and preferences.

I’m very happy to hear that you have found just that, and it sounds like you’re perfect for each other. Enjoy your anal only life together.