Anonymous: I’ve been training for double anal and my goal is to work toward being double anal only, but sometimes I still do solo plug play or have one-on-one anal sex with my boyfriend without a dildo. It feels good, and it keeps me stretched, but lately I’ve been wondering if I’m stalling. Every time we go back to just one cock, I feel a little underwhelmed, like we’re slipping into something too easy.

I feel like single anal is a crutch and I’m not fully committed if I’m still leaning on it. Is it okay to mix both still as part of the journey or do I need to leave single anal behind completely and commit to double anal only?

It’s a process to get to double anal only, especially if you started with single anal, but it sounds like you’re at the point where it’s time to commit fully to DAO and move past single anal if you’re already regularly having double anal and just occasionally doing a single anal break.

Take the jump, commit, and don’t look back.

When people try to dismiss anal only as niche, fringe, or “just a fetish,” they usually haven’t looked at the real data, or listened to real women. Researchers increasingly have, however: a landmark qualitative study titled “Why Women Engage in Anal Intercourse” (PMC, 2015) interviewed 28 women aged 18–30 to ask the most basic, but rarely answered, question: why? Why are more women exploring anal, and why are many of them coming back to it again and again?

The answers weren’t shocking to people like us, but they might be to those who still think of anal as a taboo or just a “special occasion” act. Here’s what the study found, and what it means for the Anal Only Lifestyle.

Curiosity is the Gateway

Many women described their first anal experience as driven by curiosity. It wasn’t always about trying to impress a partner or act out a fantasy, it was about wanting to know for themselves. What would it feel like? Could it be enjoyable?

Once that curiosity turns into experience, something shifts: the women who enjoyed it aren’t just “open” to anal, they start seeking it out and prefer it.

Sound familiar? For many of us in the anal only lifestyle, curiosity was the first spark. But what kept us here was what these women echoed: deeper pleasure, more intense connection, and a sense of “rightness” in their bodies that vaginal sex never gave them.

Pleasure and Intimacy Takes Center Stage

In the study, the women linked anal sex to deeper emotional and physical pleasure. One woman said it helped her “open up to someone,” while another described it as feeling “closer than vaginal.” That goes directly against the myth that anal is somehow cold, disconnected, or only for porn. Instead, the butthole was framed as a site of intimacy.

That intimacy wasn’t limited to partnered sex either, many women developed their own relationship with their butthole, from solo exploration to plug wear to intentional training. It’s not just about what a partner wants, it’s about claiming your own sexual identity through your ass.

Control, Boundaries, and Redefining Roles

Another powerful takeaway is that some women said they chose anal because it gave them more control, not less.

Unlike the expectations around vaginal sex, anal let them set the pace, define the limits, and feel more present in their bodies. That tracks with what we see in the anal only community: women who reject the idea that their pussy has to be offered, used, or even acknowledged just because they have one.

Choosing anal is choosing intention—choosing anal only is choosing clarity.

Anal is a Shift

Maybe the most important message this study sends is that anal is not just a one-time experiment or something to “check off the list.” For many women, it becomes the preferred way to be penetrated. It becomes normal, primary. For some, like us, it becomes everything.

This research doesn’t just validate the anal only lifestyle—it shows we’re ahead of the curve. Women are choosing their ass, not just as an option, but as a foundation. And they’re not waiting for culture to catch up. They’re stretching, plugging, training, and transforming their sex lives.

This study was published in 2015. Now, in 2025, we’re even further along with people going quietly (and loudly) anal only all over the world. Anal only is the future.

Tess: I’m in my mid-30s and very open about my sexuality. Double anal has become my favorite form of sex, something I was first drawn to in my early 20s after seeing it in porn. What started as fantasy slowly became something I wanted to experience for real.

The path there wasn’t simple. At first, I experimented occasionally with toys along with a partner but it always felt incomplete. I wanted the real thing with two guys, not just the idea of it. I lost relationships along the way because most men weren’t comfortable sharing me, and those breakups hurt more than I expected. It made me wonder whether my desires were simply “too much.”

Eventually, I decided to stop waiting for permission. I went to a group-sex event on my own, where I finally experienced true double anal for the first time. That night was transformative. I knew then that this was something I needed in my life, and wasn’t something to feel ashamed of.

Today, I’m with a partner who has chosen to explore this with me. It took time, honesty, and a lot of reassurance. I had to be clear that sharing this experience didn’t diminish my feelings for him, in fact, it deepened them. What we share now feels intentional and deeply connected.

I’m happier than I’ve ever been sexually, and more confident in who I am. My advice to anyone reading this is simple: don’t let shame convince you to settle. If something feels true to you, keep honoring it. The right people won’t be scared by your desires—they’ll rise to meet them.

Glad to hear you’ve embraced your natural double anal needs, and I hope that this leads to you becoming not just anal only, but double anal only!

Stephen: I’ve long been interested in anal sex. I realize that the anal only lifestyle is not just about the anal sex part. It’s also about ignoring pussy completely and abandoning the clit ultimately.

Wow, it really feels so good to say. It feels so good to let women’s pussies get ignored..

I’m certain I’m anal only.
I will never fuck a vagina ever again.
I will never touch a clitoris ever again.
I will never use my mouth on any pussy or clit again.
I will stimulate her body through nipple play and never pussy play.

It’s good to admit to yourself who you are and what you need, and embrace that fact with future partners. Live that true anal only life from now on.

Olivia: I want to share something that’s been on my heart for a while. We live in a society that still doesn’t fully allow women to embrace their real sexuality without judgment. From a young age we’re taught to be “good girls,” to keep our desires modest, quiet, and acceptable. Anything beyond that, especially when it comes to anal, gets labeled as dirty, excessive, or shameful.

Because of this, so many women never get to fully develop their sexuality. They stay stuck in a smaller version of their pleasure, constantly worried about what others will think if they admit what they really crave. The fear of being judged keeps them from exploring deeper, harder, and fuller experiences, even when their body is clearly asking for more. I used to be one of those women.

I’ve always had a strong passion for anal, but for a long time I felt embarrassed about how far I wanted to take it, wanting not just one cock in my ass, but two. Feeling that intense stretch and exploring that overwhelming double fullness made me question if something was wrong with me. Society’s voice was loud in my head: Too much. Too slutty. Not normal.

But I finally decided I was done shrinking my desires to fit other people’s comfort.
I worked through the shame, the fear of judgment, and the conditioning that told me my pleasure had limits. I gave myself permission to explore, to train, to experience, and to love every second of it. And on the other side of that journey I discovered something beautiful: it is more than okay to be a double anal slut.

In fact, it feels incredible. The way two cocks stretch me open together, the deep pressure, the overwhelming sensation of being completely filled. It is a level of pleasure I never want to live without again. This is my body, these are my desires, and I’m no longer apologizing for them.
This is more than being selfish. When I take two cocks in my ass during an orgy I am not only accommodating them, I am also sharing an enormous amount of pleasure with my partners. The moans, the intensity, and the pure lust I give them is just as powerful as what I receive.

I am so grateful that I have found a partner who fully shares this passion and vision with me. He supports my desires, celebrates my sluttiness, and together we explore and enjoy this lifestyle in a safe and deeply connected way.

I’m proud of the woman I’ve become. Proud that I escaped the cage of “acceptable” female sexuality. Proud that I fully embraced my passion for double anal and made it part of my lifestyle. There’s real power in owning it unapologetically.

If you’re reading this and you’ve been holding back because of judgment from family, friends, partners, or society, I want you to know you’re not alone. You’re allowed to want more. You’re allowed to crave intense anal pleasure. You’re allowed to be a double anal slut and still be a good, worthy, beautiful woman. Your sexuality doesn’t need anyone’s permission but yours.

So here I am, loud and proud: I love double anal, I live it, and I have zero shame about it anymore.

Fantastic, thanks so much for sharing! I completely agree, there is no shame in being a double anal slut and I’m so glad to see it becoming increasingly normal and common for women to embrace that. I hope you live an anal only life generally! Have you considered going double anal only, or just intermittently as the opportunity presents itself?

From Velunara on r/analonlylifestyle on Reddit:

Hello! I (F19) have been into anal play (AO) for quite some time now, and lately I’ve been reflecting on how it has impacted my life overall. To be honest, it’s hard for me to remember a single day in the past few years where I didn’t engage in some form of anal stimulation. It’s fair to say I’m addicted to it, but in a way that I’ve managed to turn into a massively positive force in my daily life. I’m a hardworking person with a lot of responsibilities, so when I realized my new hobby was starting to affect me negatively, I decided to find a solution. One creative approach that worked really well for me is turning anal play into a reward and motivation system. For example, when doing chores (cleaning, laundry, cooking, etc.), I start with my smallest butt plug. With every task I complete and cross off my to-do list, I switch to a bigger size. Once all my chores are done, I give myself time to fully relax and enjoy anal play however I want. I use the same strategy during workouts: with each exercise I finish, I increase the plug size or switch to a different toy. Squats on a dildo or crunches with anal beads have become some of my favorites , especially when I tilt my body to the side and push the beads in one by one with alternating hands before pulling them out and continuing the set. Since the pandemic, I’ve had a hybrid work setup (only two days in the office, the rest remote). On work-from-home days, I incorporate my toys and reward myself after completing each task. In short, by weaving anal play into my daily routine this way, I’ve become much more motivated to tackle my responsibilities. I actually look forward to starting my chores, workouts, and work now. I’m not sure if anyone else will find this interesting, but I’m curious, has anyone else struggled with an intense interest in anal and managed to channel it into their life in a similarly creative, productive way?

Continue reading and comment on Reddit

Tina: I’ve stopped using my pussy entirely and I love being anal only in theory, but I still haven’t had a full orgasm from anal alone. Should I go back to clit stimulation or keep pushing through?

First off, congratulations on making the commitment! Loving the lifestyle “in theory” is a great start, but we want you to love it in practice, too. What you’re experiencing—the difficulty of reaching a hands-free anal orgasm—is incredibly common during the transition phase.

The reality is, your brain and body have likely been wired for years to associate climax with clitoral stimulation. Retraining those neural pathways takes time, patience, and often a change in technique. Should you go back? Not necessarily. If your goal is to be truly anal only, “pushing through” doesn’t mean depriving yourself of pleasure; it means evolving how you achieve it.

Try these three adjustments before you give up on the goal:

• Instead of total abstinence from clit stimulation, try using it only to get yourself 90% of the way there, then stop and focus entirely on the anal sensation for the finish. This helps your brain start to “transfer” the peak to the new sensation.
• Sometimes an anal orgasm requires a different kind of stimulation than a vaginal one. Experiment with different toy shapes or depths that put pressure in different places.
• The more you stress about the orgasm, the further away it stays. Focus on the feeling of being filled and the intimacy of the act itself. Often, the first anal orgasm happens when you finally stop chasing it.

Stay the course. Stick it out. You won’t regret it.

Elaine: My opinion might not be well received, but, as a woman, I truly believe it’s a man choice to put his penis wherever he wants. It’s their body, their penises. If they want an anal only lifestyle, I truly support it.

Thank you for sharing such a bold perspective. For those like you who embrace such a philosophy it can work quite well. However, I would argue a slightly altered perspective, because often this may lead to women having vaginal sex or losing their anal only commitment due to wanting to do what a man wants. I would advocate for women standing up for their anal only lifestyle and insisting men fuck them in the ass or not at all.

Ginger: My husband and I share a loving and strong marriage, raising a wonderful family together. Over time, our intimate connection has evolved, and we’ve grown comfortable exploring new ways to enjoy each other, especially through regular anal sex. We even watch porn—nothing too crazy, mostly gangbang related stuff.

But deep down, I don’t always feel completely fulfilled. It’s like there’s something more I need: to feel wanted, engaged, used in a way that’s raw and hardcore. The thought of being in a real gangbang and taking double anal keeps playing in my mind. I crave that surrender, that edge. The fantasy feels so strong and necessary to make me happy.

My problem is, I have no idea how to bring this up with my husband. He’s loving, but I’m torn between wanting more and fearing how it might change his view of me. I’m scared he’ll think I’m too much, or maybe gets interested in other women if we go too far. I want to keep our marriage special, but part of me feels selfish for wanting more without wanting to share him. Is anyone else in a similar spot? How do you approach this kind of conversation without risking everything good you already have?

I am really worried. I feel like time is slipping away, and if I don’t take the step to share these desires soon, it might never happen.

What you are feeling is a very natural progression. Often, as we get more comfortable with the intensity of anal only, our minds start pushing the boundaries of what that intensity could look like.

Your fear of how your husband will view you is the biggest hurdle most couples face. However, the fact that you already watch gangbang porn together is actually a huge green flag and suggests he enjoys the idea at some level as well.

My advice is to stop viewing this as selfish. If this fantasy is what you need to feel fully alive and engaged, sharing it is actually an act of intimacy, not a betrayal of the marriage. Start by talking about the content you watch together. Ask him, “What is it about these scenes that you think we both enjoy?” and use that as a bridge to say that you fantasize about being part of one.

You don’t have to jump into a real gangbang tomorrow. You can start with “simulated” double anal using toys or just deep roleplay to test the waters of that surrender you crave, and expand from there.

Jenna: Hi, I want to try having anal sex for the first time with my boyfriend and we’ve been trying a few times but haven’t been able to get him in yet. How can I get started, it doesn’t really hurt but it just doesn’t go.

Congrats on trying anal, I’m sure you’re going to love it once you get started and get into a more frequent routine with it!

Make sure to go through a good warmup process first. If you’re both comfortable with it, having him lick your butthole for a while before will help you relax, then make sure to add some lube to your anus and massage it with a finger, slide the finger in gently, and after you can comfortably fit a finger or two, you can go back to trying it with his lubricated penis. As he presses gently in line with your anus, try bearing down or “pushing out” which relaxes your anal muscles and opens them up for him. Go slow, but he should be able to start sliding inside.