Message: Feeling Like I Don’t Have a Pussy
Anonymous: I’ve been anal only for a little over five years now. I stopped all vaginal contact gradually at first, and then fully. No penetration, no touching, no clit play. I barely even think about it anymore except to clean and groom it, and when I’m on my period… which is just a negative association, anyway. I stay plugged most days, and anal sex is the only kind of sex I have or want. At this point, my body responds entirely through my butthole. When I’m horny, I feel it there. When I climax, it’s anal only. I don’t miss my pussy. I don’t even consider it.
But recently I caught myself wondering something strange: if I never use my pussy, if I don’t touch it, don’t want it, don’t let others near it, is it still part of my sexual identity as a woman at all? I know it’s technically still there, obviously, but it’s not involved. It feels more like a closed door I never walk through anymore, or a room I’ve boarded up entirely.
I don’t feel broken or ashamed, I feel better than I ever did and more rooted in my identity and preferences. But it still sometimes catches me off guard how irrelevant that whole part of my body feels now. Like it’s disconnected from the rest of my experience. Like it’s no longer mine.
Has anyone else felt this? Does your pussy just stop counting after a while?
Congratulations on five years anal only! At that point, I think most women end up feeling similar. They have a pussy, it’s part of their body, they may like the aesthetics of it and still try to keep it pretty and decorative, but that’s about all the function it serves at this point. They don’t consider it a sexual part of their body at all, beyond aesthetics and perhaps a sign of arousal if it still gets wet (though it often doesn’t always show arousal in that way anymore either). This is a good, natural, healthy part of the long-term transition to anal only and should be celebrated!