Message: Am I Being Selfish?
Anonymous: My GF and I have been doing anal only for a few months now and while I’m kinda ashamed to admit I think my favourite part is knowing that I get more pleasure out of it than her. She definitely enjoys it but I know she can’t cum without her clit and I also noticed that she really urges me on to cum now like she wants it to be over faster. This turns me on so much that I can’t even think about going back to vaginal sex again but more than that I’ve been kind of obsessed with the idea of her giving up her pussy completely which for her would mean giving up orgasms too. I’m scared that if I ask her about this she will think I’m a completely selfish jerk. Do you think its wrong for me to be into this and do you think I should try asking for it or just be content with what I have?
It’s not wrong to want that, but it depends what she wants too. Some women get off on the same sort of thing, and that’s fine. Whether she’ll be open to it depends on her motivation. Tell her that you being anal only really turns you on and you love it and would love for her to stop using her clit too and just get her pleasure from anal, and ask what she thinks about that. If she’s not into it, then keep things as they are. But, if she is, then explore that together.
I think it’s good that you can be honest with yourself and admit you think you get more pleasure. I don’t think there’s necessarily anything wrong with that. But you getting more pleasure doesn’t mean that it can’t be great for her too. My girlfriend doesn’t orgasm much now we’ve gone anal only but she has told me she doesn’t mind as it feels much nicer during the actual fucking and to her enjoying the whole experience is more important than an orgasm which can be good but is over quickly. As for her urging you to cum now, what also worked for us is to go long and slow. Make sure you’re thinking about her by talking to her all the time, telling her how good it feels for you etc and also pay attention to her body by feeling her tits, back, thighs etc while you’re moving in her. Don’t be afraid to stop and pause plenty while staying inside her and enjoying your connection together. Women are wired differently and it doesn’t have to be about who is getting the most pleasure.