Category: Anal Training

The use of anal play & masturbation techniques to further develop one’s anal abilities and prepare for anal sex. See also Anal Masturbation for posts specifically referring to the use of anal play & masturbation for fun and pleasure.

For more detailed information on anal training, see our Anal Training & Preparing for Anal Sex page.


Message: My No Pussy November Goals

Ann: I will be doing No Pussy November with my husband, and our goal is to not have vaginal sex or for me to have any clit stimulation. We want to use this month to try it and see if we can make it work full time, and if we can, we plan to stay anal only.

We both prefer anal but have continued doing vaginal at times when anal has been harder to do or required more work and we were lazy and we want to stop accepting that as an excuse.

Glad to hear that you’re taking part! I hope that you have a great time with it and are able to establish an anal only routine that keeps you from feeling the need to return to vaginal sex.

Frequent plug wear, a good diet/hygiene routine, and having anal sex regularly can very much minimize most needs for preparation, and makes anal only a lot more feasible.

No Pussy November 2020

It’s here! A month of pure anal only sex and your opportunity to challenge yourself to see what it’s all about or to try new things related to the anal only lifestyle.

After eight years in a row, No Pussy November still remains our flagship month each year to celebrate anal sex, the anal only lifestyle, and to encourage new people who aren’t yet anal only to challenge themselves to trying it for a solid month and seeing what it’s like.

If you’re new to the anal only lifestyle and you want to give it a try, this is a great time and way to do it! Talk with your partner now in advance of November and make sure you’re both on board with the idea, or if you’re single and want to try it with toys, get yourself to the point where you’re comfortable with anal masturbation on a regular basis—at least 3 to 5 times a week, if not every day.

If you’re already anal only, there are plenty of other things that you can try as a No Pussy November challenge this year!

  • If you still use clitoral stimulation, you can challenge yourself to stop and focus purely on anal pleasure and anal orgasms. The more you go without your clit and rely on anal only to orgasm, the easier anal orgasms get!
  • If you aren’t wearing a butt plug regularly, you can challenge yourself to wear one at some increased interval, or to spend the entire month plugged as often as possible. If you want to reach the latter goal but aren’t quite there yet, you could work yourself up to that point over the course of the month.
  • You can challenge yourself to make ass to mouth a regular part of your sex life, normalizing it by doing it every time you have sex this November.
  • You can start to introduce double anal to your sex life, either through play with two dildos, a partner and a dildo, or two partners.

Along the lines of that latter idea, for those who are particularly interested or experienced with double anal, we’re introducing an official advanced challenge this year: Double Anal Only November, where those who want to or are able to masturbate regularly with two dildos in their ass or have double anal sex regularly spend the entire month only having double anal sex every time they have sex. Naturally, this is going to be somewhat limited to people who have multiple partners who want to have double anal with them, but you can also participate by always using a toy along with their partner to achieve double anal, or by masturbating with a minimum of two toys in your ass at a time.

What are your plans? Let us know!

Anal Never Gets Old

A recent comment on our Discord server sparked an interesting topic on one reason that vaginal gets old but anal never does.

BackDoorBeth: The biggest difference I have noticed to with Vaginal and Anal too is that with vaginal. It can get stale after awhile. Anal is more of a challenge to keep stretching your hole and making it better and better.

This is a very true observation—with anal, the muscles have a natural inclination to tighten and close back up, so by having anal sex regularly you’re constantly up against the challenge of loosening and relaxing the muscles, which keeps you more actively engaged in sex. Vaginal, by contrast, is “easier” and so quickly can become boring.

Being invested in something often makes it more rewarding, and that’s part of why the anal only lifestyle can feel so much more than vaginal. There’s a lot more to it than that, of course, but that fundamental feeling of pride and joy in your expression and enjoyment of anal sexuality, and in your growth through additional training and improving your anal skills clearly comes from this dynamic.

What have your own experiences been in this regard?

Message: Rimming is the Best Introduction

CharlesO: Hey man, I want to thank you for all the information on this page, it really helped my girlfriend and me start doing anal regularly and now she’s agreed to try going anal only too starting this month, which is a real dream come true for me. I hope she loves it and we can stay anal only, fingers crossed! We’re going to try it until the end of the year for now.

The thing that really made it click for her was when I started rimming her every time we did anything sexual, and especially before any anal play. She loves how it feels and it drives her wild, makes her pussy drip, and she says she can feel it relax her, not just her asshole but her whole body. By the time I’m done she usually begs me to fuck her in the ass and it goes in really easily and doesn’t hurt her at all. And that was a big difference from before when she was agreeing to do it but it took more preparation and she would hurt and get sore and want to wait weeks between sometimes. Now we do it every day and she’s asking me for it instead of the other way around!

Glad that they were helpful for the two of you! I’ve been a strong proponent for education before anal in order to maximize enjoyment for everyone and ensure a lasting love of anal.

Thanks for sharing your experiences with rimming—that’s been my experience as well, and I highly recommend it for everyone looking to start having anal sex with their partner. Focus on her enjoyment through rimming and external play first and make her want more, and she’ll be much more eager to have anal sex.

Good luck with your anal only trial! It sounds like she’s going to love it and with any luck will want to stay fully anal only after the end of the year!

How Much Anal is Too Much?

I see this question come up a lot, as people discover that they really enjoy anal but then worry that they can’t have it as often as they would like to. This is one of those things that keeps a lot of people from going anal only, because they feel the need to take time off between having anal sex and do vaginal in between to make up for it.

The reality is that there’s not really any such thing as too much anal sex, and it all depends on you and your body and how much you can handle at a given time.

If you’re getting sore after anal sex every time you do it and need to rest between having sex again, you’re on the edge of what’s right for you at that time. You should find a balance and frequency that just slightly pushes your limits and stick with that for a few weeks to a month, and then gradually start increasing the frequency. If you can do it twice a week at first, try going to three times a week after a while, and so on from there.

If you aren’t getting sore or noticing any problems, then you aren’t doing it too much and it’s perfectly fine for you, and could probably do it more often if you wanted to!

Ultimately, the more frequently you have anal sex, the easier it is to have anal sex frequently, because it helps keep your anal muscles in good shape and ready to have sex. Think of it like exercising, if you work out infrequently, you get sore and are in pain and struggle every time you do it, but if you establish an exercise routine and stick to it regularly, it gets much easier and more enjoyable. The same is true for anal sex.

The Benefits of Overnight Plug Wear

I’ve long recommended the use of butt plugs to aid in the anal training process, and they really are one of the best ways to practice, train and warm up before sex.

Many people, however, are uncomfortable with the idea of wearing them all day at work or in public, or have a job or lifestyle that makes it difficult to do so. Fortunately, there’s a great option anyone can enjoy to make long term plug wear possible and to enjoy the benefits!

Putting in a plug before you go to bed and wearing it overnight can give you many hours of passive anal training each day without interfering with your daily life and routine.

Overnight plug wear passively trains your ass

When you’re wearing a plug during the day, it can be very stimulating and for a lot of people that’s part of the appeal, but it can also be distracting and interfere with other parts of daily life for some people.

By wearing a plug overnight instead, it’s more of a passively pleasant feeling. It can be distracting for some people at first, but with a little practice, it provides an easy 6 to 8 hours per day of anal training where you don’t need to do anything but slip your plug in and go to sleep. Keep up that routine, and you’ll be having anal sex regularly and easily!

Better relaxation and sleep can result from overnight plug wear

Once you get past the newness of having your ass plugged while you sleep, it’s common to wake up feeling more refreshed and relaxed than before and getting better sleep. This may seem counterintuitive to those who are just starting and feel overstimulated with the plug in and may even find it hard to get to sleep the first time or two, but once you get comfortable with it in, it becomes very relaxing!

This pairs nicely with the natural relaxation of the body that most people experience when sleeping, and as their anal muscles relax along with that, it helps the plug hold them open comfortably and train them into becoming more elastic and easy to stretch open for sex and more active forms of masturbation.

Overnight plug wear is one of the easiest ways to establish an anal routine

One of the most important things for enjoying anal long term or becoming anal only is establishing a consistent routine so that your ass stays warmed up and ready for sex rather than waiting long amounts of time between sex or masturbation each time and needing to start over to open yourself back up and getting sore every time.

As you get a little more experienced with wearing a plug to bed, start doing it every night, and you’ll have your very own routine to stay warmed up and limber and ready for sex or masturbation as often as you want.

Ease into overnight plug wear

If you’re new to long term butt plug wear, you may not immediately be able to wear a plug all night long the first time you try it. Put it in, go to sleep, and see how it goes. If it gets uncomfortable sometime in the night, take it out and see if it needs more lube added. If it stays uncomfortable, leave it out the rest of the night and try again the next night. After a few nights of this, you should notice that you can wear it for longer amounts of time.

Similarly, you may find that certain types of plugs are more comfortable than others for overnight wear. High quality silicone, metal and glass tend to be the best. Cheaper silicone and other soft materials that need water-based lube can often dry out overnight and need more lube. But try it for yourself and see how it goes!

Article: How to Avoid Painful Anal Sex

For most people, anal sex can be painful, especially when it is their first time or is with a partner who is not gentle. In a survey of 412 people by the San Francisco Aids Foundation, 96% of participants reported having, or having had, anal sex. Of those participants:

• 86% said that they had experienced pain at least once, while 9% had never experienced pain
• 36% said that they had enjoyed pain during anal sex
• 64% of people who had anally penetrated a partner said that their partner had asked them to stop because of the pain

Anal sex may hurt for several reasons, including:

• the anus not producing lubrication for sex
• the sphincter muscles of the anus being very tight
• certain health issues, such as hemorrhoids, making it painful

However, anal sex does not have to hurt, and severe pain may indicate that a person is doing something potentially harmful.

Continue reading on MedicalNewsToday

Article: Everything You Could Possibly Need to Know About Anal Sex

While pop culture might have you believing that anal sex is an act that can just happen organically without tons of lube and prep beforehand, that’s just not really how it goes. Sure, the ol’ “sorry, I slipped and almost went into the wrong hole” thing happens sometimes, but it’s rare that the slipping excuse would result in full-penetration in your ass — unless you had a LOT of lube involved on both your bum, your partner’s penis, and even then, unlikely.

But if you’re willing to dedicate some time to prepwork (aka anal training), do your research, and buy a few lubes beforehand, anal sex can be uber pleasurable. Who knows, it might even become your favorite.

Yes, anal sex does require some extra preparation, but aside from that, it’s just another sex act. Whether you’re still debating trying it out, or are already committed to doing it, here’s everything you need to know about anal sex for beginners.

Continue reading on Cosmopolitan

Article: New to Anal Sex? Please Read This!

People wanting to try anal sex for the first time are usually attracted by what they’ve heard about it, or were asked by their partner to try it. Most who try anal have no information to guide them towards a pleasurable experience. Here is a list of important things to keep in mind if you want it to be enjoyable, repeatable, and something you and your partner will EVER want to do again!

1) There are two sphincter muscles, and both have to be relaxed for anal sex to feel good. The outer sphincter is a voluntary muscle, so with practice it can be relaxed at will. The second sphincter muscle  is an involuntary muscle about an inch and a half inside the anus. Because it’s an involuntary muscle, you’ll just have to wait for it to relax.  This can take up to twenty minutes for a beginner.

2) Anal sex should not hurt. If it hurts, you’re doing it wrong.  Anal sex feels amazing if the second sphincter muscles are relaxed. If they aren’t, forcing entry will bruise the muscles. That hurts a lot! When people talk about anal sex being painful, this is the stage they’re talking about.  Rectal tissues are much thinner and more fragile than are vaginal tissues. The only solution is to take things slowly – very slowly – and wait for the second sphincter muscle to finally relax by itself. Rush this step, and you may turn off the person involved to ever trying anal sex again.

3) Anal play requires lube. Lots of lube. Unlike the vagina and mouth, the anus and rectum do not produce lubrication. Lubes specifically formulated for anal play are typically thicker to compensate for how absorbant the rectal walls are to moisture. Thinner lubes will be absorbed more quickly, and will  need reapplication. An alternative is silicone-based lubricant, which will not be absorbed into the body, but is not safe for all toys. No matter what kind of lube you choose, use plenty and reapply.

4) Talk to your partner about how it feels. Waiting for the muscles to relax is a wonderful opportunity for communication, feedback, and lots of giggles! Yes, this is a chance to take things with some lightness and fun and even some silliness. Ask questions, answer questions, move slowly. This is a learning curve, as this is a whole new realm of sensations for the newcomer!

5) It gets better. Once relaxed, there is enormous potential for pleasure from anal sex. The second sphincter will eventually learn to relax much more quickly, taking cues from the first sphincter relaxing. This training can take months and even then can be finicky, so always take it slow.

We often tell people there are four major elements to anal sex: lots of good lubrication; lots of time; more lube; and more time.  Go slowly, have fun, and check in with your partner. Anal play is just that: play!

Continue reading on Frisky Business Adult Boutique

Message: Condom Broke, He Wants to Go Anal Only

Jess: I always wanted to be anal only and today the opportunity finally came. I had sex with a guy but the condom broke and now we’re both paranoid about it. Now he wants to have only anal sex. But how will I transition to anal this fast??? Please, help.

Sounds like a great opportunity to get what you want, but be honest with him. Tell him you will need a little time to adjust to it at first, and go more slowly the first few weeks, gradually increasing how often you have sex. Wear a butt plug regularly when you aren’t having sex.

You may have to start out only doing it two or three days a week, and can do oral on days that you can’t do anal, and then every few weeks, increase it by another day a week, until you can do it as often as you like. Just listen to your body. If you’re getting sore, take it a little slower. If everything is fine, gradually go a bit more often.

Good luck, and keep us updated on how it goes!