Category: Anal Training

The use of anal play & masturbation techniques to further develop one’s anal abilities and prepare for anal sex. See also Anal Masturbation for posts specifically referring to the use of anal play & masturbation for fun and pleasure.

For more detailed information on anal training, see our Anal Training & Preparing for Anal Sex page.

Message: Anal Multiple Times a Day

Anonymous: Hello. I’ve been with my husband for about three years and a half now, we’ve been married for about two years. When we met, I had never done anal, but he gradually introduced me to it. At one point, we were doing it quite often (every time we had sex, in fact), and that’s when he confessed to me that he was anal only, and that he only did vaginal sex with me in hope it’d change and I’d agree to switch to anal only with him. I tried anal only for a few months, and I finally agreed to switch. He asked me for marriage very shortly after that (I was 28), obviously I agreed (he’s gorgeous, I’m very much in love, and I really enjoy anal). It was a bit strange to think I’d nearly have no vaginal sex for the rest of my life, but eventually it became normal to me.

My husband is a blue collar worker, and he’s usually very tired when he comes home from work, so we generally fuck about three to four times a week. With the virus outbreak, however, we’re both trapped home, and he’s fucking me every day – several times a day, actually, up to four times a day. It’s to the point I woke up in bed several times with his cock deep inside my ass, plowing me while I was asleep. I’m not used to this at all, but I don’t want to turn him down: sex is a very good way for him to get the stress out – so far, everything is going fine at home despite the situation, and I want it to stay that way. I tried getting him off with blowjobs, but he’s always going after my ass no matter what.

What could I do to avoid being sore, and to be able to take it all? Apparently, this crisis will last for quite some time, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to provide anal sex at that frequency for that long. So far, I don’t feel sore and I’m having pleasure, but I’m a bit worried. Are there creams I could use? Will I gape permanently? My husband marvels about the gape I have lately and he jokes about it, but I’m worried about my ass not being able to close properly in the long term. How could I increase my sex drive to get closer to his? I talked to him about it a bit, and he told me to stop touching myself (I still touch my clit during sex, even if it has always annoyed him) – would that change anything?

Thank you for your work and for your answer.

Thank you for sharing, and it sounds like you have a great anal only relationship. Well done to the both of you for being able to make it work.

Daily anal, even multiple times a day like you’re doing right now, can be entirely manageable and safe, so long as your body is ready and adjusted to it. If it doesn’t hurt and you aren’t sore, then there’s nothing really to worry about. Listen to your body. If you start getting sore, maybe try a little less for a couple days. But really, once you get to where you can have anal four times a day every day, or more, without pain or significant soreness, you should be able to keep doing that indefinitely. Yes, you will likely relax more as a result and have a bigger gape, because your ass is staying more warmed up, but that is not a bad thing and if you take a break from it, it will get tighter again. And remember, being warmed up and relaxed does not mean being loose. It just means that you’re more flexible and elastic and need less preparation. It sounds like your husband appreciates you being warmed up and gaping, so it’s not a bad thing at all! It won’t harm you, so long as you aren’t injuring yourself, and if it doesn’t hurt, you aren’t.

As for higher sex drive, definitely try going without clit play and focusing on pure anal pleasure. If you can orgasm just from anal, try doing only that going forward. If you can’t, try to learn by going without clit stimulation for a while. Or if you really need to cum, use your clit the last time you have sex at the end of the day only. You could also try edging with your clit but not using it to actually orgasm.

Good luck to the both of you, especially in this trying time. With any luck you’ll be able to use the time to get closer and further develop and improve your anal only lifestyle in ways that you’ll both be able to enjoy for the rest of your lives!

Reddit: How Did You Convince Your Partner to do Anal?

Are you the man or woman? What was the biggest challenge, and what worked?

Lots of different responses, a couple of which are featured below:

As a woman and maybe a rarity, I had to convince some of my boy and girlfriends to give me the anal attention I wanted. My husband, however, took very little convincing, of course. As to convincing other girls to allow anal play, a little alcohol never hurt as well as open communication and gradually easing into the physical aspect of it. It was introduced to me while a friend was going down on me. I was so into it that when she went lower, I almost didn’t realize she had her tongue in my ass. But again, we had spoken about it before she even tried. Oh, if and when you get into the full act, LUBE LUBE AND MORE LUBE.

I’ve had success in the past with girls who claimed not to want anal by slowly working ass fingering into your routine. Works especially well while eating pussy… start thumbing her asshole gently while going down on her and stop eating pussy if she objects… then do the same next time until she associates the two. Also start rimming her ass… start with kissing her all over (most girls love this) and get closer and closer to her ass then pay it more and more attention.

Several girls I’ve been with who started off not wanting to do anal at all ended up really liking it after doing stuff like this.

Continue reading on /r/analonlylifestyle on Reddit

Reddit: Trying to Switch to AO for 5 Years

little backstory: I’m happily married to my husband, who’s way more into anal than I am (unfortunately).

We both sort of fetishized anal since we started dating, and I gave it a few tries back then. I quickly found out that I liked the idea of anal more than anal itself, which was basically : that it hurt a bit, that it was uncomfortable, and that my husband loved it. (I know it might sound messed up to some, but I guess it’s a kink).
But I really enjoyed it back then, in those terms, and was able to orgasm sometimes (through clitoral stimulation only tho)

We slowly started opening up about our fantasies, then we got married and really started acting on them.
One of mine envolved fisting, I was really curious but my husband was afraid I’d get too loose (not that he refused to do it, we just share everything that’s on our minds basically) he also knew I didn’t quite enjoy anal but I’d do it anyway, because he loved it (and the idea of it turned me on, I guess).

I might’ve gone a “little” overboard with the fisting thing, because he eventually started to notice (and me too tbh) I was a bit (quite) loose after a year or so. But I didn’t want to give up on it, so we both agreed on doing more anal to compensate for the lack of tightness he complained about . Then it became doing anal almost everytime we had sex, or a fisting session.

^This really started to aggravate me. We had sex very often back then and I wasn’t able to keep up with all the times I had to do some preparation beforehand. This led to some accidents that embarrassed the shit out of me (LOL). It got to a point that I gave up on fisting and sex in general just so we wouldn’t do anal anymore. But I noticed my husband really missed it, so I ended up trying again. Anyway it took a toll on our sex lives.

Then, (5 years ago) I had a child (long story, surrogacy), and I don’t know if the fisting or the delivery but my vagina never really snapped back to normal. It got to a point that he claimed he had almost no feeling, basically he was doing PIV just to please me. We talked it out cause I didn’t want to seem selfish (I already was my sister’s surrogate against his will, I convinced him into trying fisting, I had that “abstinence” moment, I mean…) And that’s when he suggested we’d go AO.

Continue reading on /r/analonlylifestyle on Reddit

Message: Give Up Clit Orgasms?

Anonymous: My bf got me into anal only last year and I like it but struggle with some things. It’s still harder for me to get to orgasm from anal but he doesn’t want me to keep using my clit anymore. I haven’t used it so far this year, because he wanted me to try 2020 without my pussy at all, but it’s hard to not cum every time. Do you have any advice? Is there anything I can do to cum from anal more often?

Congratulations on being anal only and starting out the year with a new challenge to commit even more fully to the anal only lifestyle!

It’s a good sign that you’re able to orgasm from anal at least some of the time! That suggests that by focusing purely on anal pleasure and excluding clitoral stimulation from your routine, you’ll start orgasming more easily from anal in time. Pay attention to what sort of positions and speeds you’re in when you orgasm more frequently and try to replicate that towards the end of an anal session in order to make it more likely that you will orgasm regularly from anal.

In the long term, moving past clitoral stimulation to pure anal will pay off immensely and there are many benefits to doing so, which you can read about in our Guide to Clitoral Denial. I wish you the best of luck!

Reddit: Tips and Opinions on Solo Play

It’s been two months since I haven’t used my dildo in my pussy. It’s now exclusively for anal play, and it’s been great. However, I haven’t had an orgasm just using it alone — I always have my nipple clamps on (an absolute must since I love the pain) and a vibrator on my clit, sometimes rubbing it with just my finger.

Do you have any tips to achieve orgasm with just solo anal play? I’m gonna try doing it tonight — firstly putting my nipple clamps on and then starting slowly with anal beads. After that I’ll go in with my dildo and try my best not to touch my clit. I can’t wait!

Continue reading on /r/analonlylifestyle on Reddit

Our Guide is an Ebook Now!

If you’ve followed us for a while, you’re probably familiar with our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle, which has been a part of this website for the past year since moving off Tumblr.

It’s always going to be a freely available resource as part of this blog for those who want to learn more about anal sex and the anal only lifestyle, but I’m happy to announce that you can also purchase it in an ebook format through Amazon as well, if that’s how you prefer to do your reading!

It can be a good resource if you’re just getting started, and it can make a good gift for friends who might be interested in anal or going anal only. Either way, it helps support this blog and the greater anal only community.

And, if you’re looking for another way to support the anal only community, consider becoming a Patron!

Message: How Do I Let Him Know I Want Anal?

Beth: I’ve been married for a few months and my husband so badly wants to fuck my ass. He has fingered my ass during sex a few times and even rimmed me on our wedding night. He knows I’m open to it but he doesn’t quite know just how much it turns me on. He’s tried to rim my ass and press his cock into me but I’m much too tight and he’s much too endowed. I know there will have to be a little training before but I don’t really know how to start & I think he’s a little impatient. I purchased a butt plug and I wear it at least once a week when he isn’t home but I know it isn’t enough.

Do I just wear it and surprise him with it? Do I ask him to plug me next time things get heated? I just don’t know the best way to bridge the gap!

It sounds like your primary concern is not being ready enough, because it seems that you do want it as much or more than him, you just want to make sure that his impatience or him being overeager doesn’t hurt you and it’s an enjoyable experience for the both of you. Is that a fair assessment?

I’d suggest making the butt plug wear a much more frequent thing for you, and to start masturbating regularly while wearing the plug, as well as fingering your ass during masturbation. Our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle has a section on Anal Training that provides more information that process. Once you’re comfortable doing it more regularly, I would also read the Guide to Having Anal Sex for the First Time and then decide if you want your husband to help train you the rest of the way before having sex or dive right into trying it with him.

Once you do want to admit your enthusiasm about trying it, I would just be open about it and tell him. He’ll love to hear that you want to do anal too, if he’s as excited as it seems about trying it with you. Communication is best for everyone. But you can also be wearing a plug when you tell him that, and show him, and he’ll love seeing that too!

Good luck, and I hope you have a wonderful time exploring anal together!

Discussion: How do you prepare for frequent random anal sex?

That’s the question a Quora user asks, receiving the following replies:

Me I have regular guys that screw me every week so I know the day and time so I have a chance to prepare and I do a wash it’s not a complete enema I only wash the part I will be using,but more importantly is I stretch my anus twice a day with a graduating size glass plug that opens my anus up to 5 inches wide,this helps a lot when I do a DP and that I do 2times a week.

This is not a practice that should be rushed into if not had experience of it, if I know if I am partaking in in an event with the possibility of anal I want it to be painless and enjoyable, to achieve this I normally wear one of my butt plugs for the majority y the day and lub myself up before hand

Both responses get to the essential point: warm up gradually and stretch your anal muscles with plugs and other toys before having sex, keeping them relaxed and ready, and you’ll be prepared for frequent anal at any time. Additionally, the more frequently you have anal sex, the easier it gets to do regularly.

Continue reading on Quora

Forum: Can’t Have Vaginal but Curious of Anal

I have a disease that makes it painful to have vaginal penetration and so I haven’t had sexual intercourse or an orgasm. To be honest I don’t really have that much of a sex drive at all. But I’ve heard that you actually can have an orgasm from anal sex and so I got curious. I’ve tried it on myself and my sex drive has gone up somewhat (now I actually fantasize about sex) but I can’t seem to get an orgasm or really get horny by it.

How long does it usually take before you can have an orgasm or enjoy it. How does guys usually respond to girls that only have anal sex, it seems quite taboo.

Continue reading on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum