Category: Anal Training

The use of anal play & masturbation techniques to further develop one’s anal abilities and prepare for anal sex. See also Anal Masturbation for posts specifically referring to the use of anal play & masturbation for fun and pleasure.

For more detailed information on anal training, see our Anal Training & Preparing for Anal Sex page.


Discussion: Anal Sex?

A woman posts on the Circle of Moms forum, asking whether other women enjoy anal sex:

Ever tried it? If so, do you enjoy it?
I am now at the point where it doesn’t hurt and it will feel good, but only while spooning. 
How about you ladies?

She receives a lot of very positive responses from other women who enjoy or prefer it themselves:

I am at the point where it feels good and I enjoy it more than vaginal.

At one time in my life if would have ask about anal I would have said hell no, But now.. I can honestly say it feel good to me now. A few years ago I had sex with a girl friend of mine, while our husbands were gone a deep sea fishing trip. We played around as usual but while she was licking my clit she put a finger in my ass. She was very good at what she did. It didnt hurt exactly just felt diffrent. She didn’t ram her finger in me it was slow and gentle and just enough I could feel the intensity. I had an orgasm while she licked me and fingered my ass. Afterwars I ask her about it. and she said whe would help me do anal if I wanted to. For months after that when I rubbed myself I would put a finger in my ass also. It became apart of my sexual fun. My husband never knew about my thought on anal. Later when her and I were together again she used 2 fingers and eventually after sometime had passed she fucked me with a dildo in my ass. I don’t think I would have liked it if a man tried anal with me at first, so I’m glad I learned to love it the way I did. Now I love getting fucked in my ass. I want say it feels better than my pussy but it feels diffrent and I enjoy it alot..

My husband and I do anal quite a bit when were are intimate I never thought I would do anal or even like as much as I do. I always thought about trying it but never felt confident enough to bring it up in any relationship I had, But when I met my husband he opened mny eyes to a whole new world and he didnt make me feel uncomfortable he made me feel sexy. i did anal for the first time about 4 months after our daughter was born, one night we were in bed fooling around and he asked me if it would be ok if he went in the other way as he put it and I said are you talking about my butt and he said yes so i said ok but go slow I had never done it and he did go slow he went slow and it was amazing I think the neighbors even heard us…lol

First, the partner (your man or a SO wearing a strap on or even using a dildo) musrt proceed SLOWLY. For me, that means taking at least 5 minutes of very gentle very deliberate short in-and-out movement. Second, a state of mind is required, I have to purposely focus on relaxing but more importantly when I feel the first pressure on my anus I immediately start short grunting-like movements as if I’m trying to have a BM when I’m constipated. I know it is gross to some to mix having a BM with sex but lets be frank … bearing down as when trying to pass a stool actually causes the sphincter muscle to relax and that means LOOSENESS. If you don’t bear down, your back door will be tight and that will hurt. The down side for me is I sometimes let out a small fart or two when my husband is about half way inside my anus but he expects it and knows it is natural. He has been doing my ass occasionally for the past 15 years and I now find it extremely enjoyable.

Don’t know that it’s my favorite, but I have to say my most intense orgasms have been from anal. I became a huge fan of it while I was pregnant for some reason. At that moment, it just worked for me and I asked for it a lot!

A few other women express that they don’t enjoy it, or that it isn’t their favorite, but on the whole everyone is positive about it and encouraging each other to do it more and how to enjoy it. It’s very nice to see a group of women all being positive about anal and helping each other out with it. The world could use more of that. Remember, if you have friends who might be interested in anal, open up to them, share how much you prefer it, and start talking about it and encouraging them to try it for themselves. And if they already like anal, encourage them to try anal only for themselves.

Continue reading on Circle of Moms

Message: Luring a BDSM Newbie Into AO

Anonymous: I am training this young BDSM newbie (she’s 19 and submissive) and she never done anal before, but is willing to give it to me. She’s already sending me a lot of buttspread nudes as I request, so she’s very open and obedient to it. She had two boyfriends before and they were the nerd-beta type and she hated that, wants “someone who can control me not the other way around”. So my goal is: I’m planning to turn her into an AO slave, but maybe not right at the beginning, not to shock her too much. I thought about reversing the typical scenario, fucking her only in the ass 3 or 4 times we meet, then giving her a mixed pussy/assfuck as a “reward” at the following encounter. For how long should I do this before saying AO is a requirement to keep seeing me? What are your thoughts and advices? Also I thought about still letting her be licked on her pussy by other sub girl(s) that I eventually bring into our relationship.

If your intent is to demand strict AO from her, you should be pretty open with her about the fact that you are only interested in anal from the beginning. While a gradual introduction is fine, unless you’re exploring together and seeing where things go together without a clear destination in mind, you should be up front with your intentions rather than trying to “lure” or “trick” her and then demanding anal only from her or you leave her.

Even if she’s submissive, she’s still a person and gets to make decisions too.

Struggling With Anal Sex? Try Butt Plugs!

Here at the Anal Only Lifestyle, we believe that anal sex should always be pleasurable and pain-free (unless you’re specifically trying to achieve pain in a safe and consensual manner), but unfortunately a common complaint with those first exploring anal is that it hurts and even if it’s something they really want, it can be a challenge for people with little experience to get started without being turned off by painful experiences, past or present.

We have more information on working around this specific issue in the Anal Training section of our Guide to Anal Sex & the Anal Only Lifestyle, but this article will focus specifically on butt plugs and just how great they can be for this purpose.

A Matter of Training & Relaxation

Fundamentally, most people need some level of training and muscle control to relax their anal muscles and be able to open up easily for anal penetration. Warming up those muscles before having sex is an excellent way to help them relax during sex, and inserting a butt plug is a quick and easy way to achieve this.

At the most basic, wearing a butt plug for at least half an hour before having anal sex will help you warm up and be much more relaxed, making sex with a partner or a dildo easier to achieve painlessly.

But beyond that, if you’re really committed to having anal sex regularly and want to have the best experience, start wearing your plug regularly even at times when you aren’t about to have sex. Wear it during the day, during the night, and on days off, and the more you do so, the better and easier anal will become.

A Constant Companion

The more you wear a plug, the more it can help not only benefit your anal training but also amplify your arousal and reinforce your interest in anal sex or the anal only lifestyle. By going about your day with a butt plug inserted, it serves as a steady reminder of anal penetration and keeps you aroused and excited about having your ass filled with something else—whether that be a partner or a toy. It can be a motivating factor, and that excitement and arousal will also help you to relax further and make that subsequent penetration easier for you.

Passive Pleasure

Along the same lines as the above, that presence of a butt plug worn throughout the day provides a delightful sort of passive pleasure and enjoyment in addition to the training benefits you get from it. People wear plugs most often because they feel really good, and you’ll no doubt find the same result. Walking around, sitting down, riding a bicycle or driving, and just generally living your life while receiving constant, passive anal stimulation can be a very enjoyable thing.

What Types of Plugs are Best?

There are so many different butt plugs on the market today, thanks to the steadily growing interest in anal stimulation and sex, but not all are well-suited to the same purposes.

If your goal is training for anal intercourse, you really want to target the anal muscles, and while very slim-necked plugs will still provide some benefit through anal stimulation and arousal helping to relax the anal muscles, the best effect is going to be the result of using a plug with a bit of a thicker neck that helps keep your anal muscles open and relaxed for a longer period of time. Just as the other muscles in your body can be tight and more prone to pain in that state, anal muscles need to be stretched out before use so they’re warmed up and relaxed, and that’s where a thick-necked butt plug really comes into use.

If you want to wear a plug for longer periods of time, comfort is a top priority, and so finding one with a thin, ergonomic base that still serves its purpose of retaining its position comfortably, but without digging into your sensitive skin or causing discomfort. There are a lot of good options out there, and our Guide to Anal Toys offers some suggestions to try out.

Message: DIY Butt Plug?

Anonymous: What can I use to make a DIY anal plug? I can’t order online or go to a sex shop. I really want to get into the AO lifestyle but I live with family.

It’s great to hear that you want to go AO, and I’m sorry that you aren’t able to buy anal toys due to your living arrangements. Perhaps you could go to a shop with a friend or have a toy delivered to their house if you aren’t able to have it delivered at home?

Alternatively, you can masturbate anally with your fingers or use vegetables like cucumbers as dildos. Certain thin bottles or pens and markers like Sharpies can work as well.

Discussion: Are Butt Plugs a Good Way to Ease Someone Into Anal Sex?

That’s the question of a Quora user, who receives the following response which makes an excellent key point:

Yes, but butt plugs are not the beginning step.

The beginning step is always to get the person comfortable with the thought of anal.

Start by massaging around the anus. Once the person is comfortable, use lube and start with a finger. Gently.

Only after your partner is comfortable with a finger or two, take the next step of butt plug.

Miera Sharma, Quora

Continue reading and join the discussion at Quora

Discussion: Thick Penis and Anal

I’ve had anal sex before with my ex who was average and so the anal sex was comfortable.

Recently I started talking to an old fwb again who is above average. His thickness is a major turn on and I’m really excited to start having fwb with him again but he wants to try anal for the first time. I’m almost hesitate due to do it because it’s hard to give him a bj due to it being so thick that I have to really widen my mouth and jaw.

Due to his size, how can I prepare myself to do anal? Mind you I’m not used to using lube or anal play or fingering. I’m not one to give up so easily, I really want to try for him because he has told me that the women he has already slept with refuse to give him head and to do anal. Any advice or suggestions would help.

UPDATE:
On Saturday, I finally met up with him and I told him that I really wanted to try anal for him but he was more concerned with hurting me (very sweet, I know) so he wanted to wait to try anal. So I was able to give him head and deepthroat him first even with his thickness which then caused him to cum too soon after we started to have sex afterwards. He felt so bad, but I was happy to satisfy him with head because I really did want to try for him. Within a few minutes he was able to get hard again and continue having sex, and when he finished he said I was too tight for him.

LATEST UPDATE: 
we did it! No lube necessary just used my natural pussy juices like expected and it was very enjoyable and so he too enjoyed it. Unfortunately a few hours later I ended bleeding which is normal. So at the moment I’m healing and am not going to tell him because I don’t want him to feel bad.

Deviously_shy, HipForums

A good illustration of the fact that anyone can achieve anal sex with any size partner, it can just take some time and practice to get to that point at first. If she had put in more warmup and practice, she wouldn’t have had any bleeding after either, but with more practice going forward, I’m sure she’ll be able to regularly enjoy anal sex with him with no pain or injury.

Continue reading on HipForums

Discussion: Can you wear a butt plug all day?

This is a common question and concern once someone discovers anal pleasure and the joy of butt plugs and wants to experience that feeling more and more over time. Fortunately, the answer is yes! With a little practice, if it stays comfortable, you can keep it in as long as you want! If it starts to hurt, you should take it out and let yourself rest until it doesn’t hurt anymore, but otherwise go for it. Wear that plug as often and as long as you like.

Continue reading on Quora

Article: Teen Vogue is Teaching Sex Ed the Way Public Education Should

On July 7, Teen Vogue published a column titled “Anal Sex: What You Need to Know.” The article detailed the benefits and nitty-gritty details of what it’s like going in the back door, from how to approach anal sex with your partner to what to expect during your first attempt. They claimed the guide was the “anal 101 for teens, beginners, and all inquisitive folk.”

Needless to say, conservatives were not pleased about it.

Within the following weeks, Fox NewsBreitbart, and other conservative news outlets wrote their responses to the article, criticizing the piece and calling it “agenda driven” and “smut.” A mom blogger called The Activist Mommy even posted a videoof her burning the issue, calling for a boycott of Teen Vogue for “teaching sodomy to our children.” It’s no surprise that some people didn’t like it, but some went as far to say that it was a “parent” issue — that talking about sex with teens was not okay.

Continue reading at Odyssey

The Frequency of Anal When First Starting Out

The discovery of anal pleasure can be a very exciting thing for people new to it, and it can be easy to want to suddenly play with your ass or have anal sex as often as possible. However, when you’re first starting, it can also be easy to get quite sore quickly, just as when first starting a new exercise regime, so it’s often better to pace yourself to ensure maximum long-term enjoyment for everyone.

When getting started, either for the first time, or after a long break, always start slow and work your way up gradually, but also give yourself a day or two break in between sessions to allow your muscles to adjust and recover from any soreness as you train yourself and stretch them in new and better ways. You can always do a quick test with a toy and if you still feel any acute soreness, wait another day before trying again.

After a week or two of active anal play at the same level, you likely won’t have to continue doing this, and can shift to playing daily, but when training for larger toys or objects, you may find it beneficial to return to a several-days-a-week sort of routine again for that training. The difference here is that you may be able to return to using smaller toys or a small butt plug as your new baseline in between the larger toy training.

Stay safe, listen to your body, go slowly, take a few days off if you feel particularly sore, and you’ll be enjoying anal for a lifetime.

The Benefits of Frequent Butt Plug Wear

For more information about butt plugs and other anal sex toys, see our guide to Butt Plugs & Dildos for Anal Masturbation.


The use of butt plugs among those who regularly practice anal sex is almost ubiquitous, because of the great benefits they offer. Not only are they useful for warming up and relaxing before having sex, they have long term training benefits, feel great, and are just sexy.

You don’t have to just wear them for short periods of time, however! More frequent and longer-term usage of a butt plug can be a great way to advance your anal skills and pairs well with the adoption of the anal only lifestyle.

Frequent Butt Plug Wear Helps to Always Be Ready For Sex

Just as anal masturbation and butt plug wear right before having sex helps to open you up and relax your ass for sex, making the initial penetration easier, wearing a plug more frequently even when not immediately planning on having sex shortly after will help keep you prepared for more spontaneous anal sex. The increase of frequency and duration of anal penetration results in your anal muscles staying warmed up and relaxed in between sessions, and anal sex becomes much easier to do regularly as a result. Additionally, the subtle and often involuntary muscle movements throughout the day as you retain the plug in your ass while moving around helps to not only strengthen your anal muscles, but to also develop more conscious control to be able to relax at will in the future.

Many people have commented on the fact that butt plugs are what made anal sex and the anal only lifestyle possible for them. Struggling at first with the increased frequency of anal is not uncommon when first transitioning to anal only, but wearing even a relatively small butt plug on days between having sex can really help with soreness and continued relaxation so that you don’t lose your training and return to being excessively tight in between having sex.

Staying Plugged During Everyday Life Keeps Your Focus on Anal Pleasure

For someone in the process of going anal only, vaginal or clitoral urges can still linger and try to dominate, and it can be hard to resist giving in to old habits. Wearing a butt plug throughout the day can help with those urges by keeping your attention on your ass and how good it makes you feel and how much you enjoy and prefer being anal only. It reminds you that vaginal and clitoral stimulation aren’t what’s important to you, that only anal is important. It helps you center yourself on your ass and the feeling of being filled anally.

Knowing Your Ass Is Plugged is Your Sexy Little Secret

Wearing a butt plug doesn’t just feel good, it can also make you feel really sexy and slutty, and walking around in public with a plug up your ass is a great way to enjoy your own sexy secret, either on your own or with your partner. Anal only women often comment on how much they enjoy feeling sexy and slutty for their partner, knowing they only take it up the ass and how that makes them special and different from most women. Wearing a butt plug in public has similar effects, and can really turn on and boost the confidence and morale of someone.

For those who are into exhibition, combining a butt plug with a short skirt and a lack of underwear can be an excellent way to show off one’s secret to others, too.