Laura: Hi, I’m Laura, 32, married for 8 years now. My husband and I have two kids, and we’re not planning to have another.

Lately, my husband has been practising anal sex more and more with me. He’s the one who introduced me to it when we met, and we’ve always done it once in a while, but lately he’s doing it much more often, and I can tell he’s much more enthusiastic when he’s doing it (licking or penetrating my hole), whereas he seems reluctant when he’s using my vagina or my clitoris.

I sort of “spied” on him by watching his browser history, and I discovered he watches and reads a lot of anal only content: porn, stories, and message boards. I’m 99% sure he actually posted messages on a board (not yours) telling he couldn’t stand vaginal and clitoral sex any more, to the point it “disgusted” him. People sympathized with him, and encouraged him to make me “evolve” to have anal sex only.

I’ve been really shocked at this, and the next times we had sex, I sort of got disgusted myself when he used my vagina or clit – not because I don’t like it, but because I know how he feels about it. So, I sort of directed him to my asshole instead, and it seemed to arouse him A LOT, resulting to the best, most passionate sex we’ve had in a while.

I thought a lot about it, and I’d like to give anal only a try, because what other options do I have? I love my husband, we’ve got a home, two kids, and I’m still planning to live the rest of my life with him: I can’t leave him for something as trivial as sexual preferences, and I can’t change how he feels about it.

I actually enjoy anal sex, and the latest intercourses we’ve had turned me on more than I expected, so I’m actually eager to try it. But I’m still worried about having only anal sex from now on, it seems to unreal. Will I get sore? How can I make it easier for him to get in, and even more pleasurable? Can I orgasm from it? Can I stop birth control? Will there be effects on my health? My husband has pretty big sexual needs, which even increased since I encouraged him to have anal sex, and he also happens to be rather large, so I’m worried about long term consequences. Also, I know he’s turned off from me touching my clit, what would you recommend to help me cut off the habit and get more anal pleasure?

Thank you.

You sound like a wonderful wife, and your husband is lucky to be with you. Not only are you interested in trying to go anal only, something that he clearly wants and prefers, but you’re excited to explore it together with him and learn how to best enjoy it for yourself as well. I think anal only is going to go very well for the two of you and you’ll find that you won’t want to return to vaginal sex.

I suggest being open with him and talking about it. Let him know that you can tell he prefers anal and ask if he would like to try going anal only together. Then, you can figure out together how best to do it.

You might get sore at first if you’re doing it every day all of a sudden, so try for two or three times a week to begin with, and give him a blowjob other times, then increase the frequency from there after a week or two, so that your ass can adjust to it.

With practice and more frequent anal sex, as well as anal masturbation with dildos and butt plugs, you will start to relax and open up for him more easily and require less preparation and warmup before having anal sex. It’s one of those things where the more often you do it, the easier and better it gets.

It’s definitely possible to orgasm from pure anal sex. Everyone’s a little different, and it’s easier for some than for others, but with practice you should be able to get there. Avoiding clitoral stimulation and becoming increasingly aroused by going multiple sessions without orgasm can help a lot as well. Focus on what sensations feel really good during anal sex and keep doing those to try and get the pleasure to build to an orgasm.

Many people do stop using other forms of birth control once going anal only, and find that anal sex is a very effective form of natural birth control for them. It can help to eliminate the negative effects of hormonal birth control, while also solidifying them in the anal only lifestyle. Care should be taken to avoid semen running from the anus into the vagina after sex, but the chance of accidental impregnation from this is very low, and many people successfully use anal sex as their preferred birth control.

There are no long term negative health effects from anal sex, when done properly with the appropriate warmup and preparation to avoid injury. If it hurts, you probably need to be warming up more first. If there’s any bleeding, you should stop and take a break for a few days to heal. But otherwise, you’ll be perfectly fine, even having anal sex every day. As stated above, the more you do it, the better it gets, and with frequent anal sex, your anal muscles stay more relaxed and flexible and you can have bigger, harder, deeper anal sex without issue or discomfort when you’re doing it regularly.

As for working towards clitoral denial, I’d suggest focusing on playing with your nipples or rubbing and fingering your ass when you’re horny, rather than touching your clit. Masturbation should become anal penetration with fingers and toys. During sex, if you find it hard to resist your clit, you could apply numbing creams like Orajel to your clit to temporarily remove sensation for the duration of your sexual activity. Some women enjoy having no sensation there at all and apply numbing creams throughout the day to help keep their focus on their ass.

It sounds like you have a very fun adventure ahead of you, and I wish you the best of luck, and invite you to continue following up as you progress through the anal only lifestyle and have more to share or other questions to ask.

I have a disease that makes it painful to have vaginal penetration and so I haven’t had sexual intercourse or an orgasm. To be honest I don’t really have that much of a sex drive at all. But I’ve heard that you actually can have an orgasm from anal sex and so I got curious. I’ve tried it on myself and my sex drive has gone up somewhat (now I actually fantasize about sex) but I can’t seem to get an orgasm or really get horny by it.

How long does it usually take before you can have an orgasm or enjoy it. How does guys usually respond to girls that only have anal sex, it seems quite taboo.

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I’ve been in a relationship for around 9 months now and he is very into anal, if I’m honest I can take it or leave it. I don’t dislike it but it doesn’t make me climax and we currently do it around once a week compared to 3 or 4 for ‘regular’ sex.

From this weekend, we’re going to have a few weeks of Anal Only, partially because he is really keen to go AO but also to see if my enjoyment gets any better if it’s the only type of sex we’re having, the plan is for 4-5 weeks and see how we both feel.

I have mixed feelings about it at the moment, I want to give it a go but am a bit concerned about the shift from once a week to 4/5 times a week, mainly I’m concerned about becoming sore. Any tips or advice will be welcome

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Anonymous: Is Anal Only something you think bimbos preferably should strive for?

moredumblesspretty: Absolutely.

It’s no surprise that we here prefer anal sex. It’s something that we talk about a lot, and we do tend to go into detail about why it’s better than vaginal sex on ever level, but in case you’re still left wondering, here are some clearly defined reasons.

• Anal feels so much more intense and pleasurable than vaginal sex. For people giving anal sex, they can go deeper, get a tighter, grippier sensation, and can cum inside every time. For people receiving anal sex, it’s an intense filling sensation that causes incredible orgasms and doesn’t have the same arousal harming after effects of vaginal and clitoral orgasms.
  
• Anal is natural birth control that you simply won’t get pregnant from with a simple amount of care. Unlike condoms, which nobody likes (though you should still use if you’re having sex with untested partners!), or hormonal birth control, which has a lot of negative side effects on mood, arousal and pleasure, anal is a fun, sexy, pleasurable way to have as much sex as you want without getting pregnant.
  
• Anal is sexier, both in a visually appealing sense and conceptually. The idea of replacing vaginal sex, something that everyone does, with anal, something that—while it’s becoming ever more popular—is still less common, gives people quite the thrill. Aside from that, though, it’s just far more attractive and fun to watch.

So you want to try anal sex, but you’re freaked out by the probably inevitable reality of poop. That’s totally understandable, it’s something that can be present during anal sex, and it’s not exactly glamourous. But rest assured that it’s not usually that big of a deal. “A common source of trepidation about anal is that it’s dirty or messy due to the proximity of the anus to fecal matter, but this tends to be an overemphasized concern,” Dulcinea Pitagora, a sex therapist known as the Kink Doctor, previously told Refinery29. In Pitagora’s opinion, the repulsion factor of anal goes beyond the hygiene concerns and taps into our culture’s obsession with hiding body fluids and odors. So what if some ends up on the condom? Sex is messy. It might just be something you have to deal with if you’re interested in anal. But still, the presence of this unwelcome guest happens less often than you’d think.

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Anonymous: According to Wikipedia, “in young sexually active women, sexual activity is the cause of 75–90% of bladder infections, with the risk of infection related to the frequency of sex.”

It sounds to me like those infections could only occur when the penis is in close proximity to the urethra, as is the case with vaginal sex.

Conversely, a sexuality focused exclusively on the anus, with careful avoidance of the vagina and urethral area, would greatly reduce the incidence of such infections.

That seems highly likely, and corresponds with what I’ve heard from talking with some women who are anal only—UTIs were much more common for them with vaginal sex, and have largely gone away since shifting focus to anal sex and going anal only.

Of course, one must still take care with hygiene from anal sex, but the increased distance between the urethra and the anus can help significantly, and women who have anal sex regularly tend to have a better handle on anal hygiene overall than other women.

One more of already so many reasons that anal sex is superior and that anal only is the best way to go.

Ana: Hi! Me and my bf love anal and we’ve considered getting rid of lube, but it’s still a bit too painful. Do you have any tips for anal sex without lube?

Some form of lubrication is nearly always going to be needed for anal, whether natural or artificial. People produce a little bit of natural anal lubricant, which on its own is usually not sufficient for sex, but some people do produce it in greater quantities and find they need little to no additional lubrication.

If it hurts without lube, I would suggest that indicates that you still need to use additional lubrication, but you could explore gradually reducing the amount that you use, as well as using other forms of lubrication rather than artificial lube.

For example, there are some people who only lubricate with saliva from oral sex before starting and going ass to mouth as needed throughout to relubricate. Others use vaginal lubricant as an anal lubricant.

So I would suggest trying something along those lines and seeing if it works for you. If, over time, you find you need less of that, you can continue to ease off it too. As with most things relating to anal sex, gradual change is best.

Actually, the secret is communication, and communication is essential to developing an anal only relationship that is mutually satisfying and rewarding, but the fact that anal and anal only requires and encourages good communication can help the relationship as a whole.

Beyond that, however, it’s no coincidence that couples who have trouble with intimacy and their sex life in general often turn to anal, and find that it changes things for the better for everyone.

Not only can anal be more mutually physically satisfying, though it certainly is that, there’s also the thrill it sparks by knowing that you and your partner have a wonderful, sexy secret together that you share, knowing that when you have sex, it’s only going to be anal.

The need for communication and trust to make anal mutually enjoyable boosts your intimacy and makes anal sex feel so much more connected and intimate compared to vaginal, which makes the whole experience so much more intense and wonderful.

All these things combine to create a more full and wholesome sex life, which in turn carries over into the rest of your relationship and enhances everything. That’s not to say that anal sex is a magic cure all for everything, but going anal only can be a key part of a healthy sex life and a healthy relationship. Give it a try today if you haven’t. And if you have, share your own thoughts and experiences in the comments!

Anonymous: I’m a young guy who’s always been exclusively into anal sex: I discovered sex through porn, and vaginal and clitoral action became major turn-offs very quickly for me. I never did vaginal nor touched a clit, and I want it to stay that way.

So far, I met all my partners through online dating sites, making extremely clear I’m into strict anal only (I can’t even stand it if a woman touches her clit during sex). I’m athletic, good looking and well endowed, and I’m open to different types of women provided they’re anal only, so I never had trouble getting laid so far.

At college, there’s this younger girl who’s very much into me, and who made very clear she’d like me to take her virginity and “teach her” how to fuck. She’s smart, funny, very hot, but she doesn’t know I’m anal only. We sort of kissed and messed around (no sex), and she seems to be quite submissive when hot.

On one hand, I really want to fuck her and “train” her, educate her into strict anal sex, and date her in the long term. I’m pretty sure she won’t freak out when I tell her I’m anal only (I touched her there through her clothes while she fondled my cock through my jeans, and she seemed to like it, she didn’t mind her crotch being left untouched). Her being a complete virgin makes me REALLY hot.

On the other hand, I never introduced a girl to anal sex, I always dated experienced women who knew what they wanted, so I’m uncertain what to do (I’m thinking about foreplay and licking and fingering her asshole gently for a start). And I sort of feel responsible for her, so even though the idea to get her into strict anal sex is incredibly hot to me, I’m wondering if her first sexual experience shouldn’t be more “standard”.

Thank you for your blog, which I knew from tumblr, and thanks in advance for your reply.

I encourage introducing her to it, provided she’s into the idea and willing to try. Talk with her about it, and be open about your needs and desires, so she knows up front what you expect from a partner and is fully informed going into it.

If she is willing, be sure to take it slow with her and really ease her into it while making sure to focus on her enjoyment and pleasure. Get her to love and crave it, and your pleasure will join hers soon enough.

As for a concern about her being introduced to anal first vs. vaginal, there are plenty of women who start with anal and stick with it for a long time before even trying vaginal, and there’s been a growing trend among younger women to go straight to anal only for a variety of reasons, which I encourage and think is a good thing, so I see no issue with starting her right out with anal only if she’s interested in trying it.

But, communicate and make it something that you explore together as partners, if you do go down that route. Good luck!