Message: Introducing a Girl to Anal Sex

Anonymous: I’m a young guy who’s always been exclusively into anal sex: I discovered sex through porn, and vaginal and clitoral action became major turn-offs very quickly for me. I never did vaginal nor touched a clit, and I want it to stay that way.

So far, I met all my partners through online dating sites, making extremely clear I’m into strict anal only (I can’t even stand it if a woman touches her clit during sex). I’m athletic, good looking and well endowed, and I’m open to different types of women provided they’re anal only, so I never had trouble getting laid so far.

At college, there’s this younger girl who’s very much into me, and who made very clear she’d like me to take her virginity and “teach her” how to fuck. She’s smart, funny, very hot, but she doesn’t know I’m anal only. We sort of kissed and messed around (no sex), and she seems to be quite submissive when hot.

On one hand, I really want to fuck her and “train” her, educate her into strict anal sex, and date her in the long term. I’m pretty sure she won’t freak out when I tell her I’m anal only (I touched her there through her clothes while she fondled my cock through my jeans, and she seemed to like it, she didn’t mind her crotch being left untouched). Her being a complete virgin makes me REALLY hot.

On the other hand, I never introduced a girl to anal sex, I always dated experienced women who knew what they wanted, so I’m uncertain what to do (I’m thinking about foreplay and licking and fingering her asshole gently for a start). And I sort of feel responsible for her, so even though the idea to get her into strict anal sex is incredibly hot to me, I’m wondering if her first sexual experience shouldn’t be more “standard”.

Thank you for your blog, which I knew from tumblr, and thanks in advance for your reply.

I encourage introducing her to it, provided she’s into the idea and willing to try. Talk with her about it, and be open about your needs and desires, so she knows up front what you expect from a partner and is fully informed going into it.

If she is willing, be sure to take it slow with her and really ease her into it while making sure to focus on her enjoyment and pleasure. Get her to love and crave it, and your pleasure will join hers soon enough.

As for a concern about her being introduced to anal first vs. vaginal, there are plenty of women who start with anal and stick with it for a long time before even trying vaginal, and there’s been a growing trend among younger women to go straight to anal only for a variety of reasons, which I encourage and think is a good thing, so I see no issue with starting her right out with anal only if she’s interested in trying it.

But, communicate and make it something that you explore together as partners, if you do go down that route. Good luck!

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