Category: Anal Hygiene

This category contains posts that discuss anal hygiene, enemas and related topics. For more information, see our guide to Anal Hygiene & the Use of Enemas for Clean Anal Sex.

Article: Expert Tips on How to Have Clean Anal Sex That Doesn’t Hurt

Dr. Hilda Hutcherson, author of Pleasure: A Women’s Guide to Getting the Sex You Want, Need, and Deserve, loves sex toys, believes the world is much too porno-phobic, and thinks more women should give anal sex a try.

In other words, she’s the gynecologist every guy wants his girlfriend to meet.

Among the many sexually taboo topics, anal sex is probably one of the most well known.

All guys seem to want it, while all girls seem to hate it.

But Dr. Hutcherson believes that more women might actually find out that they like it if they give it a try. Women who don’t enjoy anal sex, she says, are probably doing it wrong.

Continue reading on Your Tango

Message: Metamucil for Cleanliness

Anonymous: Hi – I’m a big fan of your site. I wanted to suggest one more cleanliness tip that works well for me: Metamucil.

Drink a glass of Metamucil (or generic equivalent) after every meal, starting at least 24 hours before sex.

It has a nice effect on the stool, making it solid and soft/firm so that it all comes out at once and with good consistency. It makes pre-anal prep much more pleasant (and sometimes not necessary at all).

Just want to throw it out to you as an idea – I’ve been trying to share it with others as I don’t often see it mentioned! Perhaps it could be added to your guide.

Thanks for the message and tip—it’s a good one for sure, if you don’t get enough dietary fiber from the food that you eat, a fiber supplement like Metamucil can work very well to help with hygiene.

If you want to do this regularly, and don’t want to spend the money for Metamucil, you can make your own similar equivalent with bulk ingredients by mixing 2 parts flax seed, 1 part lightly ground chia seed, and 1 part psyllium husk.

Anal Sex in Porn vs. Real Life

Many people’s first introduction to the idea of anal sex is through pornography. While there are certainly those who simply choose to try it on their own, either through curiosity and experimentation with their own body, or with a partner, many see it in porn and are drawn to how sexy and appealing and pleasurable it looks there. And it’s true—it is sex, appealing and pleasurable.

But porn is entertainment, not real life, and while it can provide positive exposure to anal and show people its ideal form and how appealing it can be, it doesn’t show the full picture.

Anal Porn Doesn’t Represent Proper Training and Warmup Techniques

Anal sex requires anal training and warmup of the anal muscles beforehand for most people in order to be safely enjoyed without pain, discomfort or injury. This involves gradually stretching and warming up the muscles with smaller toys or objects, working up in size until anal sex itself can be enjoyed.

Most people need to go through an extended period of anal training for days or weeks or potentially even longer, depending on their own personal needs, before they’re ready to even try anal sex. Even once that initial training has been done, foreplay is needed to relax in the moment and prepare for sex, whether through rimming, fingering, butt plug wear before sex, or the use of a smaller dildo.

Porn often doesn’t show these steps. Some porn producers have gotten better about this and include it as part of the start of a scene, with an actor starting the scene wearing a butt plug, removing it, enjoying some rimming and fingering, and then moving on to sex. But there is still a lot where the warmup was done off-camera and they’re ready to go when the scene starts. For entertainment purposes, there’s a lot to be said for doing it this way, it just needs to be understood by anyone looking to try it themselves that they will most likely need more than what is shown on-camera.

Anal Porn Often Doesn’t Show Proper Lubrication Techniques

Anal sex requires supplemental lubrication of some sort, whether artificial lube, vaginal juices, or saliva. Aside from the lucky few who produce an increased amount of anal mucous and can enjoy anal sex without adding any other lube, the anus is not self-lubricating.

Watching porn, however, you often wouldn’t know that. Most anal scenes start with the actors simply sliding into the women’s anuses with no preparation, or with just a little bit of spit. Again, this is generally because they’re already warmed up and pre-lubricated internally, and the addition of saliva is just enough to get inside and access the other lube.

There are certainly those who have anal sex regularly enough that they don’t need much more than saliva and their natural anal mucous to enjoy sex, but that’s an advanced technique that doesn’t apply to most people, and usually should not be attempted by beginners unless they’re confident that it works for them.

Anal Porn Doesn’t Show Hygiene Techniques

A big issue some people have when reconciling their anal experiences with those shown in porn is the cleanliness factor. By the very nature of having sex in the anus and rectum, you’re interacting with a place that also holds and transports feces, so cleanliness is a common concern for many people. In porn, anal sex is always spotless, and this can set a false expectation of anal sex for people whose only experience is through porn.

In reality, porn actors often fast in advance of anal scenes, do enemas, and in the event any mess happens during the shoot, cut, clean up, and edit that out. We’re all humans, we all poop, and inevitably there will be some messiness as a result of anal sex if you do it enough.

If you’re mature about it and understand that sometimes it might just get messy and it’s not a big deal to just clean up if that happens, you can have a sustainable and usually quite clean experience with a healthy, balanced high-fiber diet and supplemental use of a small anal douche/enema bulb.

Pornography is a Visual Medium

Because porn is a visual form of entertainment, many compromises are made to add to the aesthetic nature of the scene, which in practice is often not ideal for actual sex.

Positions are optimized for visual access and being able to see penetration, rather than for pleasure or intimacy. Positions that people may prefer in real life are often ignored in favor of ones that look good on camera even if they aren’t as pleasurable.

Ejaculation is often done externally rather than internally, or even if it is internal, it’s done in a shallow manner so it can be pushed out afterwards for the camera. In real life, deeper ejaculation is usually preferred, both for mutual pleasure and to keep the ejaculate deep inside where it can be absorbed or plugged inside to stay throughout the day.

Anal Porn Actors Are Professionals With a Lot of Experience

Porn often shows quite deep, fast, aggressive anal, as well as advanced techniques such as the use of large toys, double and triple anal penetration, fisting, etc. These are all things that can be safely enjoyed by ordinary people as well, if that’s something that interests you, but you need to start small and slow and work your way up to that gradually, listening to your body along the way.

The majority of people probably won’t be personally interested in those things, and that’s fine too, but even with just a single partner, it’s good to know your limits and recognize that what you see in porn and may want to mimic is being done by experienced professionals, and you may not be able to just dive right in to that same level immediately. Enjoy and be entertained and inspired by porn, but don’t use it as an informative education. Do a lot of additional research. Read our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle. Ask questions. Experiment and explore, on your own and with a partner.

Article: I Really Like Anal Sex But My Husband Doesn’t

I like anal sex. There. I said it. No, I love it. My friends think that is completely weird and gross. But dare I say I like it as much if not more than regular sex. My husband Chris though. Hates it. All my friends tell me how their husbands essentially beg them to have anal and they hate it and here I am with the husband who isn’t interested in anal at all. It’s too messy, he says. Too complicated or something. And it kind of annoys me that he won’t satisfy me in that way once in a while.

Chris is a great husband. I love the guy. And we used to have anal about twice a month when we were first together. I’ve always been a huge fan of butt play — dildos, fingers, vibrators. But I had never had anal sex until I met Chris. I always thought he was into it, too, until one day he said no to it. Then the next time, he said no again. And that trend continued. When I asked him about it he told me that he didn’t like it, that it felt too planned, too much worrying about the clean-up, mostly because he can’t come from anal, so we usually have vaginal sex after that but he has to clean his penis before we can do that.

We’ve tried starting off with vaginal but then he can’t get hard enough for what is essentially round two of anal. And I want anal! I feel like I just said anal a million times, but I’m not sure how to handle this situation and mostly I feel really alone. I can’t be the only woman out there who likes to have anal sex, can I?

I also feel like I do things I don’t particularly love to do for my husband — namely blowjobs — to make him sexually happy. Why can’t he do this for me?

This is an all-too-common complaint, sadly, and which really reveals the truth to the myth that all men want anal and all women try to resist it. The reality is that some men and women love it, and some don’t. And not everyone always ends up with a partner who shares that love, regardless of gender.

However, many of these particular complaints can be resolved. If he thinks it’s too dirty or is worried about cleanup, some dietary changes and taking care of any hygiene needs in advance of having anal sex can ensure it nearly always stays clean. (Of course, there’s always a chance it can get messy, and that’s just a risk you take with anal sex.)

The same applies to his concern for it feeling too planned. In addition to cleaning in advance of having anal sex, wearing a butt plug or masturbating anally regularly throughout the week between having sex will make the amount of preparation and warmup much less than it otherwise would be.

When one partner really wants anal and the other is hesitant, the partner who wants it should do everything they can to make things as painless as possible (both literally and metaphorically) for their partner.

His inability to orgasm from anal is a bit more uncommon, and it seems likely that it’d be the result of his mentality towards and attitude about anal sex rather than physical stimulation, since anal quite often feels far more pleasurable for men than vaginal does. If he resents doing anal, he may not be able to get in the headspace to be able to enjoy it and feel an orgasm grow. Unfortunately, if it is physical rather than mental, there isn’t enough information in this article to be able to determine the cause and offer suggestions.

I hope they were able to work through their differences surrounding and that she’s now able to enjoy the frequent anal sex she needs and deserves.

Read full article at CafeMom

Message: Cleaning Every Time I Go to the Bathroom

Anonymous: I went anal only over a year ago after finding your blogs on Tumblr and I just love it. I’m a committed anal only girl now who’s totally sold on the idea and using my pussy again doesn’t interest me at all. But I wanted to share some advice for other girls doing anal sex and going anal only, because I used to worry a lot about cleanliness, and doing an enema before each time kinda got in the way of spontaneous sex.

So what I do now is I keep an enema bulb in my bathroom and whenever I use the toilet, I just wash it out after I’m done with some warm water and then I’m good for the rest of the day. It helps that I have regular digestion so I only need to do this once a day and I’m always clean and ready for sex otherwise. I can have anal all I want and do ass to mouth (which I love 💖) without worry. It really helped take care of one of the things that kept me from going anal only before and has made all the difference for me so I really suggest it to others!

That’s a great piece of advice, thank you for sharing, and thanks for sharing your story as well. I’m glad my blogs helped inspire you to try going anal only for yourself and discover just how great it is!

I’ve heard of other women doing similar things with a daily enema/anal douche/rectal flush after going to the bathroom as a regular part of their bathroom routine, and it seems to really work for people so long as you use just a small amount of water and don’t go too deep with your enema. (For more information on good/safe enema practices, see our page on anal hygiene in our new guide to anal sex and the anal only lifestyle.) Some will go so far as to attach an enema hose to their shower head or get a bidet for their toilet (which helps with hygiene on its own) that has an enema attachment.

Announcing the new Guide to the Anal Only Lifestyle

Merry Christmas! For years, we’ve been answering questions about anal sex and the anal only lifestyle and giving advice to countless people through this blog, and that’s never going to change! But, while manually migrating nearly 1,900 posts off Tumblr to the new version of this blog, it became clear that many of the same questions got answered over and over again over the years.

To prevent redundant posts going forward, we’re happy to announce a new section on this blog, accessible via the Guide link in the menu at the top of each page, Anal Sex Advice & Guide to the Anal Only Lifestyle. Broken into a number of key topics, this page attempts to answer in detail most of the frequently asked questions about anal training, myths about anal sex, hygiene and enemas, types of lubricant, butt plug and dildo recommendations, how to have anal sex for the first time, how to have anal orgasms, how to go anal only and why one might want to do so, dating and finding new partners for an anal only relationship, and more.

More topics will be added in time, and more details will be added to pages as relevant additions come up or are recommended. If you see anything missing or that you believe is incorrect or should be amended, please feel free to send a message or leave a comment on this post and let us know.

Message: Anal Cleanliness Without Harming Intestinal Flora

sarlic91Hey there, I’m starting to live the anal only lifestyle with my girl, but there’s a thing that troubles me. We both want to keep everything as(s) clean as possible, but I read on several sources that a repeated use of anal douches will damage the intestinal flora. Can you suggest a way to clean her gut on a regular basis (we have sex a few times a day) and also keep her health in mind? Thanks ahead ?

We discussed this in the Anal Only Lifestyle Discord already, but I’ll sum up my answer here as well for a general audience.

Essentially, if you stick to a small amount of water at a time, and just flush out the rectum, release the water, wait a moment, and repeat, until all the water comes out clean, there should be no significant impact to the balance of her intestinal flora deeper in the colon or to her digestive processes.

Message: Stomach Problems and Anti-Anal Laws

Anonymous: Just a few random questions for you!! What do you do when stomach problems come up? Like period cramps or just regular stomach bugs? Do you still use a plug? Does your partner still want something in return like oral or do you just wait until you can both participate? Also what is your opinion about states in america that deem anal illegal would you still participate if you lived there? Anywho have a great day!

You should listen to your body, and if it feels like your digestive system is not up for anal sex or play, take a break from it until you recover. If you’re with a partner and you’re anal only, you can always switch to just oral until you feel up to more, or just take a break entirely if you don’t feel well. There’s no universal answer here, what works for you and your partner is what you should do. Whatever kind of sex you prefer to have, there are always times someone can not be up for it.

While anti-anal laws might still be on the books in some states, nobody is enforcing them. We should work to get those laws eliminated, but in the meantime, don’t let them get in your way of enjoying anal sex and pleasure.

Message: Avoiding Accidents During Anal

Anonymous: I’m so happy I came across this blog! It feels good knowing I’m not the only one who loves anal just as much. Although I am not anal only(working on it) my boyfriend and I love anal sex. It’s an indescribable feeling. For the first time the other day I had an accident on his penis and he ignored it and kept fucking me. Even though he didn’t mind I would like to know how to prevent that from happening again?

For most people, a balanced diet with a healthy amount of fiber and not too much fat, and going to the bathroom before sex, will prevent it the majority of the time. A small amount of warm water used to flush the rectum before sex can clean up any remaining residue without the need for any sort of deeper enema.

But, every now and then, an unexpected mess can occur, even when you do everything “right”. It’s just the nature of anal sex, and it shouldn’t be a big deal. It doesn’t sound like your boyfriend was bothered by it, and I’d suggest just accepting it as an occasional small price to pay for enjoying the otherwise superiority of anal pleasure for you.

Good luck on working towards becoming anal only! It’s definitely worth it!

Message: Loved How Anal Felt, But Embarrassed By Residue

Anonymous: I’ve only tried anal sex once— it was spontaneous (my partner and I were drunk) and I found that it felt amazing, but I was humiliated because i noticed some residue on my partner and made him stop.. is a mess common during anal? Any tips for a cleaner experience? I loved the way it felt but was so embarrassed.

If you’re concerned about even a small amount of residue, get an enema/douche bulb and use a small amount of warm water in your rectum, hold it a moment, then push it back out, and repeat several times. Don’t use very much water, just enough to flush your rectum. If you go too deep with it, you can cause a bigger mess, so it’s better to go small and repeatedly until it comes out clean, and then you should be good to go. You might want to try it on your own first to see how best it works for you.

Beyond that, I would suggest trying to not be embarrassed by it. While most people don’t like a mess from anal sex, it is a function of that part of your body, and so it’s best to just be mature about it and accept that sometimes it might happen and it’s not that big of a deal, you just clean off and keep going, or try again later. It’s definitely not worth letting it get in the way of enjoying the best possible way to have sex and share intimacy.