Category: Anal Hygiene

This category contains posts that discuss anal hygiene, enemas and related topics. For more information, see our guide to Anal Hygiene & the Use of Enemas for Clean Anal Sex.


Message: Whose Fault Was It?

Anonymous: I was fingering a woman (in the ass of course) and poop mixed with lube came out and messed up the bed sheets. Whose fault was it?

That was no one’s fault. Accidents happen sometimes, and it’s not a blame game. Instead of trying to decide who’s at fault, laugh it off and if you want to avoid it going forward, take a look at our guide to hygiene for anal sex and play.

Why You Should Do Ass to Mouth

Even within the anal only lifestyle, ass to mouth can be an act of some contention. While increasingly popular, there are still those who see it as something dirty or degrading. And though it can be incorporated into play in that manner if so desired, it’s anything but when done right.

Ass to Mouth is Intimate & Loving

In much the same way that shifting to primarily or exclusively having anal sex, couples who have incorporated ass to mouth as a regular part of their sexual routine frequently talk about the increase in intimacy that results from it. Because it requires mutual trust between partners, just as anal sex does, and because it shows an openness with one’s body both with oneself and sharing with a partner, it can be a powerful act that brings people closer together.

Ass to Mouth is Sexy

That same openness that leads to an increase in intimacy is sexy and attractive. Both partners can find ass to mouth to be a very sexy act—it’s a delight to switch from anal sex to oral sex without getting out of the moment by “cleaning” first, and just going for it. As before, it’s an acceptance of sex and each other’s bodies and that makes everything sexier and better for everyone. The fact that it’s still somewhat of a taboo can also be exciting for some, and some women find they get off on the idea itself, with a few even orgasming from going ass to mouth.

Ass to Mouth Tastes Good

Despite the misconception that anal sex and ass to mouth always smells or tastes bad, the reality is that a clean anus and rectum will actually taste incredible, if it tastes like anything at all. With proper hygiene, bad tastes or smells just aren’t going to be a factor, and some people find that it can actually be subtly sweet in flavor. Developing cravings for the taste and wanting it frequently is not at all uncommon.

Ass to Mouth is Addictive

The more you do it, the more you want it, both for the act and the taste, and women who do it often report developing a compulsion and craving for it, which in turn boosts their arousal and cravings for anal sex as well, leading to good times all around for everyone.

So, start doing ass to mouth if you aren’t already. You won’t know what you’re missing until you try it.

Discussion: Is anal sex as common as people seem to believe?

Myself and my girlfriend do anal sex sometimes, but only sometimes. One of the main reason for this is because although its pleasurable and kinky its a lot of hassle; prepping, lubing, covering the bed and showering immediately after. If i were gay i dont think i would do anal sex much because it often doesnt seem worth the hassle as opposed to oral sex which although less pleasurable (at least in my experience) is far less hassle. Gay men are often perceived as doing anal sex frequently, but is it really as common as society seems to think?

Solomon Rustlake, Quora

There are a variety of answers, of varying quality, but here’s one on the pro-anal side:

Psst. Wanna know a secret?
*looks around furitively* Anal sex is the universal sex.
*looks around again to make sure no one heard me say this*
Wanna know why? Everyone has a butt hole. That means everyone can penetrate or be penetrated in the butt. Not everyone has a vagina, and not everyone has a penis, but everyone has a butt hole. (If they don’t, that’s a medical condition to discuss with one’s physician.)
All manners of people have anal sex!

Kathryn Elle, Quora

To more specifically answer the original question, however, it sounds like the original poster’s real problem is with needing to do it more often and get into a routine of anal sex to avoid the need for what he perceives as the hassle surrounding it. With frequent anal play, butt plugging and sex, the needs for warmup are minimized, you can get started with nothing more than a little dab of lube most of the time. Warmup is certainly important for people starting out or doing it infrequently, and should not be ignored if it’s needed, but as people get more and more into the anal only lifestyle, they tend to be engaging in anal penetration often enough that they stay always warmed up. It’s also not necessary to “cover the bed” or shower immediately after, though putting down a towel isn’t exactly difficult for a bit of extra precaution. Follow up with a little bit of ass to mouth and you’re as clean as you need to be, barring any unfortunate accidents.

He acknowledges that anal is far more pleasurable. He just needs to get more comfortable with it and he can be doing it every time rather than on a rare occasion.

Continue reading on Quora

Forum: Prep Gets in the Way of Anal

My partner doesn’t mind anal sex, but she hates the time and prep needed for it. I read on this site that some couples have buttsex constantly and consistently, sometimes multiple times a day. I have to wonder how much is truth and how much is just fantasy. My partner wouldn’t mind doing an anal only thing, but it’s just impossible to do with the preparation needed behind it.

So I have to ask, to those who do it all the time,

How do you do it?

Continue reading on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Discussion: What are the chances of poop getting on my boyfriends penis if we try anal sex?

That’s the question asked by a Quora user, who receives an assortment of replies, including the following.

There’s a chance. Where his penis is isn’t where poop is “stored” but if you’ve gone to the restroom recently or have a little in that area, you may get some on him.

The REAL question is “does it matter?” Going into this, your boyfriend accepts that this may end with some poop on his penis. It’s an acceptable risk. It doesn’t matter.

James R. Butts, Quora

This is the right answer. Chances may be low, and you can mitigate most risk of making a mess, but there’s always somewhat of a chance no matter what you do, and in the end, it doesn’t really matter. The payoff is worth the risk, so long as you’re both mature about it and just laugh it off, clean up, and keep going after.

Continue reading on Quora

Message: Anal Fragrances?

Lina: Any tips on fragrances for the anus?

Many aficionados of anal find that they simply prefer the natural scent of a clean anus, but there are certainly those who apply a perfume to the area as well. Depending on the activities involved, you probably won’t want to apply it to the anus itself, but the area around it, so that it doesn’t end up getting tasted during analingus, etc.

As for specific scents, I don’t have any suggestions, but perhaps other readers can share any that they’ve enjoyed.

Article: Expert Tips on How to Have Clean Anal Sex That Doesn’t Hurt

Dr. Hilda Hutcherson, author of Pleasure: A Women’s Guide to Getting the Sex You Want, Need, and Deserve, loves sex toys, believes the world is much too porno-phobic, and thinks more women should give anal sex a try.

In other words, she’s the gynecologist every guy wants his girlfriend to meet.

Among the many sexually taboo topics, anal sex is probably one of the most well known.

All guys seem to want it, while all girls seem to hate it.

But Dr. Hutcherson believes that more women might actually find out that they like it if they give it a try. Women who don’t enjoy anal sex, she says, are probably doing it wrong.

Continue reading on Your Tango

Message: Metamucil for Cleanliness

Anonymous: Hi – I’m a big fan of your site. I wanted to suggest one more cleanliness tip that works well for me: Metamucil.

Drink a glass of Metamucil (or generic equivalent) after every meal, starting at least 24 hours before sex.

It has a nice effect on the stool, making it solid and soft/firm so that it all comes out at once and with good consistency. It makes pre-anal prep much more pleasant (and sometimes not necessary at all).

Just want to throw it out to you as an idea – I’ve been trying to share it with others as I don’t often see it mentioned! Perhaps it could be added to your guide.

Thanks for the message and tip—it’s a good one for sure, if you don’t get enough dietary fiber from the food that you eat, a fiber supplement like Metamucil can work very well to help with hygiene.

If you want to do this regularly, and don’t want to spend the money for Metamucil, you can make your own similar equivalent with bulk ingredients by mixing 2 parts flax seed, 1 part lightly ground chia seed, and 1 part psyllium husk.

Anal Sex in Porn vs. Real Life

Many people’s first introduction to the idea of anal sex is through pornography. While there are certainly those who simply choose to try it on their own, either through curiosity and experimentation with their own body, or with a partner, many see it in porn and are drawn to how sexy and appealing and pleasurable it looks there. And it’s true—it is sex, appealing and pleasurable.

But porn is entertainment, not real life, and while it can provide positive exposure to anal and show people its ideal form and how appealing it can be, it doesn’t show the full picture.

Anal Porn Doesn’t Represent Proper Training and Warmup Techniques

Anal sex requires anal training and warmup of the anal muscles beforehand for most people in order to be safely enjoyed without pain, discomfort or injury. This involves gradually stretching and warming up the muscles with smaller toys or objects, working up in size until anal sex itself can be enjoyed.

Most people need to go through an extended period of anal training for days or weeks or potentially even longer, depending on their own personal needs, before they’re ready to even try anal sex. Even once that initial training has been done, foreplay is needed to relax in the moment and prepare for sex, whether through rimming, fingering, butt plug wear before sex, or the use of a smaller dildo.

Porn often doesn’t show these steps. Some porn producers have gotten better about this and include it as part of the start of a scene, with an actor starting the scene wearing a butt plug, removing it, enjoying some rimming and fingering, and then moving on to sex. But there is still a lot where the warmup was done off-camera and they’re ready to go when the scene starts. For entertainment purposes, there’s a lot to be said for doing it this way, it just needs to be understood by anyone looking to try it themselves that they will most likely need more than what is shown on-camera.

Anal Porn Often Doesn’t Show Proper Lubrication Techniques

Anal sex requires supplemental lubrication of some sort, whether artificial lube, vaginal juices, or saliva. Aside from the lucky few who produce an increased amount of anal mucous and can enjoy anal sex without adding any other lube, the anus is not self-lubricating.

Watching porn, however, you often wouldn’t know that. Most anal scenes start with the actors simply sliding into the women’s anuses with no preparation, or with just a little bit of spit. Again, this is generally because they’re already warmed up and pre-lubricated internally, and the addition of saliva is just enough to get inside and access the other lube.

There are certainly those who have anal sex regularly enough that they don’t need much more than saliva and their natural anal mucous to enjoy sex, but that’s an advanced technique that doesn’t apply to most people, and usually should not be attempted by beginners unless they’re confident that it works for them.

Anal Porn Doesn’t Show Hygiene Techniques

A big issue some people have when reconciling their anal experiences with those shown in porn is the cleanliness factor. By the very nature of having sex in the anus and rectum, you’re interacting with a place that also holds and transports feces, so cleanliness is a common concern for many people. In porn, anal sex is always spotless, and this can set a false expectation of anal sex for people whose only experience is through porn.

In reality, porn actors often fast in advance of anal scenes, do enemas, and in the event any mess happens during the shoot, cut, clean up, and edit that out. We’re all humans, we all poop, and inevitably there will be some messiness as a result of anal sex if you do it enough.

If you’re mature about it and understand that sometimes it might just get messy and it’s not a big deal to just clean up if that happens, you can have a sustainable and usually quite clean experience with a healthy, balanced high-fiber diet and supplemental use of a small anal douche/enema bulb.

Pornography is a Visual Medium

Because porn is a visual form of entertainment, many compromises are made to add to the aesthetic nature of the scene, which in practice is often not ideal for actual sex.

Positions are optimized for visual access and being able to see penetration, rather than for pleasure or intimacy. Positions that people may prefer in real life are often ignored in favor of ones that look good on camera even if they aren’t as pleasurable.

Ejaculation is often done externally rather than internally, or even if it is internal, it’s done in a shallow manner so it can be pushed out afterwards for the camera. In real life, deeper ejaculation is usually preferred, both for mutual pleasure and to keep the ejaculate deep inside where it can be absorbed or plugged inside to stay throughout the day.

Anal Porn Actors Are Professionals With a Lot of Experience

Porn often shows quite deep, fast, aggressive anal, as well as advanced techniques such as the use of large toys, double and triple anal penetration, fisting, etc. These are all things that can be safely enjoyed by ordinary people as well, if that’s something that interests you, but you need to start small and slow and work your way up to that gradually, listening to your body along the way.

The majority of people probably won’t be personally interested in those things, and that’s fine too, but even with just a single partner, it’s good to know your limits and recognize that what you see in porn and may want to mimic is being done by experienced professionals, and you may not be able to just dive right in to that same level immediately. Enjoy and be entertained and inspired by porn, but don’t use it as an informative education. Do a lot of additional research. Read our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle. Ask questions. Experiment and explore, on your own and with a partner.

Article: I Really Like Anal Sex But My Husband Doesn’t

I like anal sex. There. I said it. No, I love it. My friends think that is completely weird and gross. But dare I say I like it as much if not more than regular sex. My husband Chris though. Hates it. All my friends tell me how their husbands essentially beg them to have anal and they hate it and here I am with the husband who isn’t interested in anal at all. It’s too messy, he says. Too complicated or something. And it kind of annoys me that he won’t satisfy me in that way once in a while.

Chris is a great husband. I love the guy. And we used to have anal about twice a month when we were first together. I’ve always been a huge fan of butt play — dildos, fingers, vibrators. But I had never had anal sex until I met Chris. I always thought he was into it, too, until one day he said no to it. Then the next time, he said no again. And that trend continued. When I asked him about it he told me that he didn’t like it, that it felt too planned, too much worrying about the clean-up, mostly because he can’t come from anal, so we usually have vaginal sex after that but he has to clean his penis before we can do that.

We’ve tried starting off with vaginal but then he can’t get hard enough for what is essentially round two of anal. And I want anal! I feel like I just said anal a million times, but I’m not sure how to handle this situation and mostly I feel really alone. I can’t be the only woman out there who likes to have anal sex, can I?

I also feel like I do things I don’t particularly love to do for my husband — namely blowjobs — to make him sexually happy. Why can’t he do this for me?

This is an all-too-common complaint, sadly, and which really reveals the truth to the myth that all men want anal and all women try to resist it. The reality is that some men and women love it, and some don’t. And not everyone always ends up with a partner who shares that love, regardless of gender.

However, many of these particular complaints can be resolved. If he thinks it’s too dirty or is worried about cleanup, some dietary changes and taking care of any hygiene needs in advance of having anal sex can ensure it nearly always stays clean. (Of course, there’s always a chance it can get messy, and that’s just a risk you take with anal sex.)

The same applies to his concern for it feeling too planned. In addition to cleaning in advance of having anal sex, wearing a butt plug or masturbating anally regularly throughout the week between having sex will make the amount of preparation and warmup much less than it otherwise would be.

When one partner really wants anal and the other is hesitant, the partner who wants it should do everything they can to make things as painless as possible (both literally and metaphorically) for their partner.

His inability to orgasm from anal is a bit more uncommon, and it seems likely that it’d be the result of his mentality towards and attitude about anal sex rather than physical stimulation, since anal quite often feels far more pleasurable for men than vaginal does. If he resents doing anal, he may not be able to get in the headspace to be able to enjoy it and feel an orgasm grow. Unfortunately, if it is physical rather than mental, there isn’t enough information in this article to be able to determine the cause and offer suggestions.

I hope they were able to work through their differences surrounding and that she’s now able to enjoy the frequent anal sex she needs and deserves.

Read full article at CafeMom