Category: Messages From Readers

A majority of the content on this blog is messages from readers, whether requests for advice, venting of frustrations, or shared stories and experiences. If you have your own question to ask or comment to share, send us a message.

Message: Stop Wasting Time on Vaginal Sex

Anonymous: Why do so many women say that anal is amazing, then they go back to vaginal sex? You’re wasting time on vaginal sex. After your first anal orgasm, you should go anal only! A real anal slut abandons vaginal sex and goes anal only.

There are a variety of reasons: some people aren’t ready to give up vaginal yet, or think they need to continue it to be normal or to be a “proper” woman, have a partner who wants it even if they don’t, don’t feel that they’re ready for full time anal sex yet, or have fears about some of the myths surrounding “too much” anal sex.

But yes, it’s a waste of time to continue focusing on vaginal sex when you could be unlocking the true pleasures of pure anal only and anal orgasms. I highly encourage making the transition from doing both vaginal and anal, or even from being “mostly anal only” to full time, 100% anal only.

Message: Panties for Anal Sex?

Anonymous: Hi, I was wondering if you could tell me the name of the panties I sometimes see girls wearing in porn where it covers their pussy but is open in the back for anal sex?

I really want some! I like keeping my pussy covered and I use tape but panties like this would be nice too for when I can’t tape my pussy. I love the idea of chastity but I’m too scared to get piercings or anything, so tape and other easy things would be great!

You can usually find those panties by searching for “backless panties” or “open back panties” or “cage back panties”. They’re an excellent option for any anal only woman and send a good signal to partners! I’ve even heard of a few anal only women who don’t wear any other kind of panties anymore.

Message: Anal Only With Trans Girlfriend, Part II

Steven: I wrote to you last June about my girlfriend who was hesitating between having a vaginoplasty (and finally having a 100% female body) and keeping her current genitals (because I’m anal only and so is she, so she wouldn’t use her new vagina and clit anyway).

I was checking out your site to get to your porn blog (which I love) and I saw your encouragement to share stories, so I thought I’d give you some news.

Shortly after reading your answer last June, I realized my hesitation to give my opinion to my girl came from the fact I was “just” her boyfriend, so I didn’t feel entitled to have such influence on her body. Therefore, I took a big decision: I programmed a special day that’d be perfect for her, and in the evening, I told her that I couldn’t answer her question as her boyfriend but would as her husband. Then I kneeled, offered her a ring, and asked her for marriage.

I don’t think I ever saw someone happier in my life, which was quite flattering, I think we all underestimate the fear of MtF people to be “good enough” to be girlfriends but not wives. After some good time together, I finally told her what I told you: that I was anal only, wasn’t interested at all in what was on her front, and would rather have her stay the way she was, except if she could get a purely decorative pussy which would make more sense than a full vaginoplasty (it’d also be cheaper and less risky for her health).

She actually agreed with me, and we started to make researches to check out our options. To our surprise, it turns out our desire is a common one: apparently, 15% of sex change operations are vulvoplasty and not vaginoplasty, meaning the cock and balls are removed and replaced by a vulva, but there is no vaginal cavity whatsoever, meaning only anal and oral penetration are possible. Here are some links for people interested:

Notice they openly mention among reasons for getting a vulvoplasty and not vaginoplasty: “not interested in receiving penetrative vaginal sex”, meaning vaginal penetration is losing appeal, especially among people used to anal sex. When it’s also cheaper and less risky, then it’s a no-brainer: why bother with a vagina?

We actually went to an appointment at a clinic doing such thing, and it went extremely well. We wanted a pussy with a “closed” look, looking like a virgin pussy which would contrast nicely with her obviously trained and well-used asshole, and they showed us pictures that look just perfect. It’s apparently a pretty simple and short procedure, with not too much time to heal. We also asked if it was possible NOT to create a clitoris: that didn’t seem to surprise the person we were talking to, she simply warned us that there was no going back, to which my fiancee replied that to her, a clitoris was simply a mini penis, and she wanted it entirely removed because she never used nor cared for it. It’s actually even cheaper!

To my surprise, I learned they can do this procedure to people who are 100% male (my fiancee is completely female and feminine, except for her junk).

The operation is actually planned, and we will marry each other right after that. My fiancee always dreamed of a stereotypical marriage, so we decided that after the operation, she would recover at her sister’s, and we wouldn’t see each other before marriage. It’ll be hard to wait a few weeks with no sex after being used to everyday anal sex, but that’ll make the moment and our honeymoon more intense and magical, especially discovering her new, entirely female body as husband and wife. Frankly, I get hard just thinking about it: a completely female and feminine wife with no vagina hole and no clitoris, with a purely decorative pussy like the ones you talk about in your porn blog, only able to receive anal and oral fucking for the rest of her life… that’s like she turned into a magical fairy or something. I feel so damn lucky.

Anyway, thanks for all your work and for your reply!

Thank you for following up, and congratulations on getting engaged and coming up with a mutually agreeable solution for everyone! It sounds like you’ve gotten it completely figured out, and it’s wonderful that she’ll be able to feel comfortable in her body while at the same time acknowledging that vaginal sex is something that neither of you are ever interested in having when you already have the perfect anal only life together.

Honestly, it makes the most sense and it’s good to see that vulvaplasty is becoming increasingly common. In time, I would hope that it becomes the norm rather than vaginaplasty for any transwoman interested in having a vulva rather than a penis, but uninterested in vaginal sex and wanting to stay anal only.

Good luck to the both of you, I hope you’ll continue to keep us updated on how things work out!

Message: Anal only husband

Carl R: PIV sex became sore for my wife just as we left our 40s. I really learned to pleasure her with oral and finger insertion but not with PIV sex, it trailed off. As we became adventurous I gave up any forms of masturbation as I said goodbye to PIV sex. Since she can’t orgasm with her vagina, I felt it right and a little kinky to end normal orgasms with my penis. My wife gives me regular anal stimulation, gently, for my pleasure and that eventually leads to an orgasm. We started with a plug that she still uses, and she also has a thin expensive vibrator that I love. I’ve also used it in her anus. Since we got this raunchy, and I made a self-vow not to stimulate my penis or have my wife do it, we purchased an expensive chastity appliance for those times my flesh becomes weak, which usually happens it we haven’t been romantic. I assure you this is no Mistress and slave marriage either, though obviously the opportunities for role play given the circumstances are endless. It has been no PIV in nearly 10 years.

Sounds like an interesting arrangement, and if it works for the two of you that’s wonderful. Do you also have anal sex with each other, or does not using your penis involve not penetrating her anally with it either? Many women can orgasm from anal sex, so having anal together in that way might be another way to be anal only together.

Message: Anal Only After Pregnancy

This message was originally posted to the Anal Only Bdsmlr blog, and is being cross-posted here.

Anonymous: Thank you for your blog. If it weren’t for the tumblr and reddit anal only pages I would never think about AO. It pretty much saved my marriage  after being a mother. It made me have regular sex again with my husband. Thank you

I’m glad to be of help and to have a role in inspiring you to go anal only! Stories like your own are not that uncommon—many women or their partners find vaginal sex unenjoyable after giving birth, and anal provides a much more enjoyable alternative that allows the intimacy, bonding, and pleasure of sex again, without ever having to bother with vaginal again.

For those who have not had children, however, I recommend getting started with anal and AO even before then, and shifting your perspective so that vaginal is only something for getting pregnant, and anal is for pleasure and fun.

Message: Double Anal Leading to Anal Fisting

Loren: We have been doing double anal with hubby for many years but can’t do it all the time. Usually with his cock and a toy but twice with another man and many times with a trans woman which we both enjoy. This has led to anal fisting which puts me out of commission for at least a week. And of course we fuck the trans woman and the ass to mouth tasting each others ass on hubby’s cock is a huge turn on.

Is double anal all the time a goal for you, or do you prefer it as something occasional? With practice, I’m sure that you could make it a more regular thing if you wanted to.

As for fisting putting you out of commission for a week, it sounds like spending more time on warmup and gradually doing it more often until it doesn’t leave you sore or in need of recovery could be a good idea so you can enjoy it regularly without needing to take such a long break after.

Message: Pussy Denial?

This message was originally posted to the Anal Only Bdsmlr blog, and is being cross-posted here.

ripebabylady: What’s your opinion on Pussy denial? Do you think it’s important in an anal only relatioship?

I think that it’s dependent on each person’s individual interpretation of anal only.

For some, anal only primarily means no vaginal sex, and mixing some external vaginal or clitoral stimulation, or even fingering or use of a toy vaginally, is okay so long as they don’t have vaginal intercourse. That’s the fundamental defining element of being anal only, so as far as I’m concerned, people can call themselves anal only if that’s the case.

For others, they want to have nothing to do with their pussy or clit, and only think it’s acceptable if they deny it completely. This is also anal only, but more advanced and with more options. It’s what works better for some people.

Ultimately, it’s up to each person to decide what works best for them within the framework of anal only!

Message: Vaginal Chastity Products

Anonymous: Hi, do you know any vaginal chastity products, or like some tapes to cover your front part. I tried to deny my pussy and also clit but it’s difficult to.

Vaginal chastity is a great option to learn to resist your pussy and clit when you’re trying to go anal only! There’s actually a section in our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle focused on this topic with an overview of the various options: The Use of Chastity Devices in the Anal Only Lifestyle.

Good luck, and I hope that helps provide you with the information that you’re looking for!

Message: Should I Stay Virgin?

Anonymous: I’m 20, and a virgin. I read in other posts that you recommend girls who are virgins start with anal and stay vaginal virgins. I like the idea, but I want to know if you really think that I should, and why.

Anal porn has been my favorite for years, and thinking about doing it makes me so horny. I masturbate that way mostly but sometimes I rub my pussy too. Should I stop doing that if I go anal only? I’ve tried putting a toy in my pussy too, but it doesn’t feel as good as in my ass, which is why I’m thinking anal only would be a good idea.

I don’t want to be weird, though, and wouldn’t guys want to fuck my pussy too and get upset if I said no?

I definitely, unequivocally, recommend staying a vaginal virgin and going straight to anal only! Now, if someone has already had vaginal sex before going anal only, or really wants to try both and compare before committing to anal only, that’s fine too—whatever works for each person—but if you have the opportunity to keep your pussy virgin and totally unused, and that’s something that interests or appeals to you, then absolutely go for it!

The way I see it is, most girls who prefer anal but try vaginal end up anal only anyway and just regret that they wasted their virginity and didn’t stay pure anal only when they had the chance. By going straight to anal only and staying a vaginal virgin, there’s nothing to regret—you can always try vaginal sex later if you change your mind, but if you lose your vaginal virginity now, you can never go back to being a vaginal virgin again.

It sounds like you already know being an anal only vaginal virgin is the right path for you—you prefer anal, don’t enjoy vaginal masturbation, and are on an anal only blog asking for advice, so your decision is nearly made already. Commit to it. You won’t regret it.

As for what guys might think, that’s going to depend on the guy. Some guys might want pussy, and they’d be the wrong guys for you if you want anal only. Other guys absolutely prefer anal and anal only girls, and would love the idea of an anal only vaginal virgin girlfriend. If they don’t respect that your pussy is off limits for good, find someone who will.

Message: Double Anal and Gapes?

This message was originally posted to the Anal Only Bdsmlr blog, and is being cross-posted here.

Anonymous: You keep enconraging gapes and double anal. They’re indeed a very sexy thing, but in reality wouldn’t you be afrait if the one good hole get’s loose there’s nothing to enjoy anymore?

While in fantasy, some people like the idea of women being stretched out to the point that they can’t enjoy even anal anymore, that doesn’t really happen in real life aside from major injury and nerve damage.

Gapes are just the result of learning to control your anal muscles and keep them relaxed open. Because you have that control, you can also let them tighten back up again too, when you’re ready to do so.

Stretching from increased usage, whether from larger partners, larger toys, or from double anal, doesn’t mean that you’re always loose, it just increases your upper limit of comfortable stretching. You can still stay tight when you want to have sex that way, and enjoy smaller penetration as well. Women like Roxy Raye, who can have massive gapes and enjoy huge toys, still close up tight after and can have “normal” anal sex too.

That said, some women simply prefer larger penetrations and over time may find that they want to focus on large toys or double anal, because thats what gives them the most pleasure, and that’s perfectly fine as well if it’s what they want and they’re able to sustain it.