Category: Messages From Readers

A majority of the content on this blog is messages from readers, whether requests for advice, venting of frustrations, or shared stories and experiences. If you have your own question to ask or comment to share, send us a message.


Message: Anal From Girlfriend

Bob: Hi we’re a MF couple with myself a Bisexual Hetero Relationship and my gf is a Bisexual.

We have discussed my interest in being pegged and she’s happy to try it out, but she doesn’t know that I have been doing anal masturbation for a few years and able to fist myself or take big toys.

I know truthfulness / trust is important for a relationship but I’m anxious that she may freak out as she doesn’t do anal herself and more on the vanilla side to sex.

And so I was wondering if I should keep it all a secret and start small, so that we can both enjoy training my hole.

She already knows that you want to be pegged, so you could open up about the fact that you already play with your ass on your own and want to include her in it as well. You don’t need to say everything all at once or how experienced you are with anal play—not necessarily keeping it secret, just easing into it over time with her. If she wants to talk about it more and asks you, tell her, otherwise let her discover your interest in it gradually as you start exploring.

Or, if she proves very receptive to the idea and enjoys exploring it with you, open up more quickly about it and tell her all about your interests in anal play.

Message: Why Aren’t More People Having Anal Sex?

John: I am an American contractor working in Kazakhstan. While working here I met a woman and we began a relationship. The county is predominantly Muslim. Although she is not, many of her friends are. Although Kazakhstan has become much more open to the use of birth control methods, a woman must visit her doctor to obtain them. In the area I work, a doctor will not issue birth control to a woman who is not married. So, when our relationship progressed to the point of wanting to have sex, I was surprised how nonchalantly she told me virtually all non-married women here practice anal sex as their form of birth control. She said it was so common, that she didn’t know anyone who didn’t have anal sex. Even after marriage, most couples continue to practice anal sex to avoid pregnancy. As she had two boyfriends prior to meeting me, she was already experienced at practicing anal sex. I, on the other hand, had never experienced anal sex in any of my prior relationships. I was always turned on by anal sex in adult movies, but thought it was really only something done in the movies.

I was amazed how much better anal sex feels than a woman’s vagina. It was as if I was experiencing sex for the first time. It was the greatest orgasm I’d ever experienced. The feeling of unloading my balls deep in her ass, as she experienced her own orgasm, was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. Although the women I slept with in the past had orgasms, hers seemed more primal. Her ass felt like it was milking my cock dry inside her. She let out a cry of passion as the last of my cum exploded deep into her. As we lay in bed recovering, I asked her if anal sex was always like this. She told me it was. At that moment I was hooked. I could honestly say that I didn’t care if I ever had vaginal sex again. I asked her if she thought she would continue to have anal sex when married. She said she did. She believes having sex in a woman’s vagina is only for the purpose of reproduction.

We are now engaged to be married in October. We’re hoping that, when my company’s contract expires in 2025 she will be able to immigrate to the United States as my wife. Eventually, we hope some of her family can come to the United States as well.

We’ve now been together for more than a year and still have anal sex almost every day. I was amazed that I never knew so many people here have anal sex. Thanks to a VPN (Kazakhstan is not the kind of place you search the internet for this kind of thing) I was able to find your blog and discover there are others who, whether by necessity or choice, only have anal sex. After experiencing it myself, I can’t say I’m surprised. What I’m more surprised about is that more people aren’t having anal sex.

While it is certainly surprising that anal sex isn’t more universally embraced as the primary form of sex that everyone has, there are a lot more out there practicing it than openly talk about or admit to it, both as a form of birth control and just out of preference for it. Conscious adoption of the anal only lifestyle has grown significantly in recent years, but there are also numerous cultures out there like you describe who already prioritize anal over vaginal and take the much healthier and more natural view that anal is for non-procreative sex and vaginal is for procreative sex.

Through education and increased experimentation with anal, and a cultural shift away from the negativity and taboo surrounding it, as well as the recognition that anal is far healthier a birth control method than hormonal birth control that comes with so many side effects for so many women, I have no doubt that widespread adoption of anal as the primary form of sex and the anal only lifestyle will follow.

Message: Double Anal?

Becky: Have there been any updates from the girls who have been doing double anal or going double anal only? I’ve been really excited to read about that the past year and it’s my fantasy to do it myself too, I have always wanted to have a relationship with multiple men at once and having it not just be anal only but double anal only makes me so excited. Do you have any advice on how to do it?

There have been some updates and new posts on the subject in the Double Anal category, though not everyone who has shared their double anal stories has followed back up. Through other channels, I’ve communicated with about half a dozen women who have either experimented with going double anal only for a month or more, or who have decided to go full time double anal only with one or more partners.

As for making it happen for yourself, there are several elements. First, you need to be able to accommodate the size of two penises in your anus and rectum together at the same time. Practicing with two dildos, or with one partner and a dildo, is a good way to get started. Once you can regularly masturbate with two dildos or do double anal with one partner and a toy, it’s time to try it for real.

Experimenting with roommates, friends, or clubs suited to group sex (the latter can be difficult during a pandemic) is often a good way to start a double anal relationship. It can be trickier than finding a single partner, which is true for any group sex or multi-partner relationship, but pursuing the same channels used for those while keeping things focused on double anal is usually a good way to go about it. Most double anal only relationships seem to have originated fairly coincidentally with multiple roommates or a boyfriend and a roommate, so you might get yourself into a situation that would provide such opportunities.

Message: Ruined Orgasms

Anonymous: Years ago, to torture myself i used to have ruined orgasms, everyone has their opinion but i think that for you to be anal only you can’t cum at all. So i would play with my clit and when i was almost there, i would stop. I enjoyed doing that cause it was a HUGE torture. Do you recommend ruining orgasms or not touching the pussy at all?

It really comes down to personal preference and what works best for you. For many, the goal of clit denial with anal only is avoiding the distraction of an easier form of orgasm so they can learn to have anal orgasms instead, and so it makes sense to end clit stimulation as a result.

However, for others who prefer anal penetration but need clit stimulation or clit orgasms to stay focused on and committed to the anal only lifestyle, edging, ruined orgasms, or clit orgasms in combination with anal can work well for them.

If your goal is to avoid anything vaginal or clitoral, then I suggest not touching it at all and focusing purely on anal stimulation and penetration.

Bdsmlr: Going Anal Only as a Vaginal Virgin

We received this message through our Bdsmlr blog, and it’s being replicated here to be viewed by a wider audience.

Anonymous: Firstly I’m a virgin and only done oral. When masturbating I find vaginal penetration painful and not pleasurable compared to anal. Any suggestions on working on anal only by myself and then bringing it up to a future s/o?

Thanks for reaching out! I definitely recommend going anal only and am confident you will find it much more satisfying than vaginal.

A good way to begin is to simply stop vaginal penetration, which it sounds like something that should be easy for you if you find vaginal painful and not pleasurable anyway, and switch your masturbation routine to always include anal penetration, whether with fingers, a butt plug, or a dildo. Working to the point that you can use a life-size dildo regularly will ensure that you’re ready for anal sex when with a partner in the future.

As for bringing it up to a partner, it’s best to just be honest early on in a relationship. If you’re going to have sex soon, tell them that you’re anal only and have no interest in doing vaginal but would love to do anal and oral often. Many guys will be perfectly happy with that. And if someone isn’t, then he won’t be compatible with you anyway and it’s best to learn that early on.

For more information on these topics and others, the Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle goes into more detail, but also please feel free to follow up with more questions or updates if you have any!

Message: The Biological Origins of Anal Only

Anonymous: Hi, this web inspired me, and I thought about anal sex nature some time.

Can we consider prehistoric rectum (that consisted of reproductive and digestive way) cloaca as ancestor of anus? It had 99% match with anus, if we don’t count inner reproductive ways of course.

From anthropogenesis we know, that vagina was divided from this opening and evolved in single hole for making kids. When itself vagina was created, those animal ancestors didn’t promptly stopped using old way, instinct was still here. People also really never stopped. So it happened that during this long time both holes were developing separately. Vagina was used for big need in fast increasing of population, and never got qualities of anus (that are described on the blog), which received best properties for love making.

To proof that, we can see many species of mammals are often using other hole, even more primitive ones. Also we can see that unused parts or their features, like male nipples, did not disappear, while that ass was used, and very frequently.

This can be answer to why anal sex is more more pleasant and better adapted for recreational sex, and why vagina seems not right hole in comparison with anus for some people.

A very interesting hypothesis that makes a lot of sense and would explain why anal sex has so much more appeal and pleasure than vaginal even still after all this time!

Message: How Do I Get My Male Partner Interested in Anal Play?

Brook: For two years of our relationship he has been vocally anti anal… in the process of moving in together he saw my plugs and has made a passing comment about fucking me while I am wearing one.
How to I encourage this interest and hopefully convince him to eventually fuck my ass?

Ease him into it. He’s already gone from being completely anti-anal to expressing an interest in vaginal sex while you’re wearing a plug, so that’s progress.

Surprise him with one of your plugs in your ass when you have sex, and just leave it in during sex. If he enjoys it, make it a normal thing. When you have sex, put a plug in.

After a while of that becoming normal, try talking to him about it again and see if he’s interested in trying anything else, like fingering your ass or using a dildo in it during sex, and then from there, tell him you really enjoy anal play with him and you’d love him to have anal sex with you and ask if he’s open to the idea now. Don’t make him feel bad or put on the spot, just try to have an open conversation about it and see what his concerns are, tell him it feels really good for you and you love doing it, and try to address any fears he may have about it.

Good luck!

Message: How to Include Anal Training in Sex Routine?

Anonymous: Here’s a question I’d be curious to see answered – What are some fun ways to incorporate anal training into your regular sex routine? I want to find ways to bring in some anal training that feel fun and exciting for my wife (rather than feeling like it’s a chore or getting bored during prolonged foreplay).

We already do some butt play regularly, but we are looking to building up to regular penetrative anal sex. We’re not totally new to anal sex, but it’s been quite a while since we’ve done it. We’re already pretty familiar with fingering, rimming and small plugs.

I’m thinking the best way to go about it is to increase our use of butt plugs and gradually increase the size. Is there a good way to do this without it feeling too clinical? Or maybe a way to make the process feel a bit sexier?

Thank you!

Ps. I really appreciate all the work you put into this blog!

Using butt plugs is a great option, and jeweled plugs can can be beneficial in that they both provide some level of training and have aesthetic appeal as well for many people, making them like a form of sexy jewelry that can be worn before and during other sexual activity.

Incorporating rimming and fingering as a regular part of foreplay even when you aren’t going to have anal sex can also be a great way of normalizing it and making it frequent.

By doing it regularly even when you don’t proceed to anal sex afterwards, it helps with training by keeping it a frequent activity, and makes it so that once you do start anal sex again, she’s already more used to it and partially warmed up from having done anal play regularly at a lower level.

Message: Double Anal With Boyfriend & Roommate in Quarantine, Part II

Anonymous: I wrote in the spring about being in quarantine with my boyfriend and roommate and how we had sex before, but in quarantine it was all the time with the three of us, and then we started trying double anal sex together and really enjoyed it.

I wanted to tell you that following your advice, we started doing it more often, and for several weeks we had double anal sex every day. Since the summer we have only had double anal sex because we like it very much, and we read about the idea of ​​double anal only here, and it was a good idea. For five months we have only had double anal sex, at least once a day.

They are not boyfriend and roommate anymore, they are both my boyfriends now, and we all like that we are in a relationship together. Doing it double anal just makes it a special connection for all of us, and we are committed to staying that way now, because it’s so nice, but also represents who we are so good.

But we want to know if this can last, is it safe and okay to do double anal so often and indefinitely? I have not had any problems so far, I feel very healthy and good about it, but I want to be sure.

Thanks for the update! So often people post a very interesting story and never return, so it’s good to hear updates from people about how things are going and progressing.

That sounds wonderful that you’ve not only been able to enjoy double anal together more often but found that it was what you really enjoyed most and decided to make your relationship double anal only going forward. I’ve posted about that subject on occasion and it definitely seems to be slowly growing in popularity with women, some trying it for the short term and others taking their anal only commitment to the next level by going double anal only.

I know and have interacted with a number of women over the years who regularly practice double anal or who are double anal only themselves, and have not heard any complain of negative side effects of going double anal only. As you no doubt have experienced, a frequent practice of double anal sex is going to result in your anus staying more relaxed and loose in the short term, though if you were to stop for whatever reason, it would tighten back up quickly. For double anal only women, staying loose and relaxed is desirable, however, so this is usually a very good side effect.

So long as you listen to your body and recognize any injuries and allow yourself to heal, you’ll be fine and are unlikely to have any negative problems. The fact you’ve been doing this daily for the past 5 months suggests you’re doing just fine and will have no issue.

I wish the three of you the best of luck and hope you are able to enjoy many years of double anal only together!

Message: My No Pussy November

Anonymous: I really want to thank you for No Pussy November. Because of it after seeing it advertised on Twitter I was inspired to try going anal only this past month and it’s really changed my life for the better!!

I struggled with vaginal since I started doing it when I was 16 and found anal when I was 17 and always enjoyed it a lot more but I never really thought about only doing anal and a lot of guys just assume vaginal and go for it so I went along with it, but when I saw No Pussy November and read about it and started reading about the Anal Only Lifestyle, it made so much sense and I was so excited to try.

This month I told the guys I hook up with that I wasn’t doing vaginal and was anal only and their reaction was actually really positive and excited and none of them bugged me for vaginal, I just had lots and lots of anal!! They seemed to enjoy it more and I know I did! I even started cumming more often because I wasn’t having vaginal half the time.

I already decided and told my guys that I’m not going to do vaginal anymore and am staying anal only, and they’re really supportive. One guy is kind of sad he won’t get to fuck my pussy anymore but I told him I’d make up for it and I don’t think he’ll really miss it. I sure won’t.

Thank you so much!! If you lived near me I’d thank you with my asshole, honestly!

Thanks for the message, and I’m very glad that trying No Pussy November was such a positive change for you and you’ll be sticking with it going forward.

I find that many women resist going anal only because they worry that guys will want vaginal and miss it, but the reality is that most women can easily say they’re anal only and take their pussy off the table and guys will be very happy with the arrangement and gladly ignore your pussy for anal and oral only. So, if you’re in that situation where you want to be anal only but fear how guys may react, give it a try for a month or two, and see for yourself. Most guys will be very, very pleased.

I wish you the best anal only life going forward!