Category: Messages From Readers

A majority of the content on this blog is messages from readers, whether requests for advice, venting of frustrations, or shared stories and experiences. If you have your own question to ask or comment to share, send us a message.


Message: My Anal Only April Goals

AnnaB: My boyfriend eagerly agreed when I said we should try Anal Only April, and I really love it so far, it makes me so horny and wet to only do anal and ignore my pussy! We’re going to try anal only without touching my pussy at all for the whole month and I really hope it goes well because if it does I’m going to ask him if I can stay anal only!

That sounds like the perfect goal, and he’s a lucky guy to have someone so enthusiastic about anal only!

Message: Can We Go Anal Only?

Anonymous: I really like anal sex but it makes me sore after so we don’t do it very often. The idea of being anal only really appeals to me though, and I’d like to try. Is there a way we can do it without me getting so sore?

Anal is one of those things, kind of like exercise in general, where doing it more often and on a more consistent schedule will help you to enjoy it without becoming sore in the same way. Ease into it: start once a week for a few weeks, then twice a week, and increasing frequency over the course of several months until you can do it as often as you like. At that point, it’s easy to make the transition to anal only!

Message: Does Liking Anal Make Me Gay?

Phelix: So I recently told my ex girlfriend I liked to receive anal. She broke up with me because I like receiving anal. She told me that I was gay and that it was weird. I don’t understand it what do you think?

And I have a question? I started play anally about a year and a half ago. I’m trying to orgasm from anal only do you have any tips to stop using my penis to have an orgasm. Right now I can use anal to get to the edge but I have to touch my penis to actually orgasm.

Enjoying anal as a giver or a receiver doesn’t inherently have anything to do with someone’s sexuality. Sexuality has to do with who you’re attracted to. You can be a straight man who likes giving or receiving anal sex from women. You can be a gay man who likes giving or receiving anal sex from men. Or all sorts of other combinations. The sexual act is separate from the gender you’re attracted to and want to have sex with. But because men receiving anal sex has been so associated with being gay in our culture, it’s assumed by some less informed people that liking anal means you’re gay.

As for orgasming from anal, just keep going. It takes time. Try committing to at least several months without anything but anal stimulation and you should gain significantly more sensitivity and start to get over the edge from anal stimulation alone.

Message: Getting Virgin Girlfriend Into Anal

Ted: Hi! I’m Ted, a 26yo male VERY MUCH into anal. I knew I wanted anal only after watching my first porn video at 16yo. Thankfully, I’m attractive, with a boyish face that pleases the ladies, so I never had to compromise too much with vaginal or clitoral action. I’m either dating women who are already into anal, or getting women to try it.

My ultimate dream would be to be in a couple with a younger, complete vaginal virgin, who never had her pussy fucked and who barely/never stimulated her pussy at all (no clit/vaginal action), but who’d be available non stop for oral and anal action. Also, I’m into orgasm denial in the sense that to me, the only orgasms a woman should get are those gained naturally from anal.

Months ago, through friends, I met this cute 21 year-old who quickly grew fond of me. We had a few dates, we got closer, and recently, she confessed to me she’s a complete virgin, and she’d love me to teach her what sex is all about.

This is a golden opportunity. She’s beautiful, small, smart, innocent, funny, we have good things in common, she’s just my type of girl. I tried to question her about sex, and apparently, she has next to no experience, even by herself or through porn.

I’d like to know if you have any advice to help me get her into pure anal, no compromise. I’m very afraid to screw up and chase her away, even if she’s so much into me that IMO she could accept a lot.

I thought the better approach, rather than flat out say I prefer anal, would be to suggest anal for contraception, as a first step. I know she doesn’t take the pill, so I could say I can’t stand condoms and I’m scared to penetrate her vaginally. Then if I can get her hooked on anal, or at least be used to it, it’d be easier to go from there.

I’m already planning to use the content you have here, like the super well-made The Dangers of Clit Stimulation, to keep her from pussy action once she’s accepted anal.

What do you think?

I recommend being honest and up front and not trying to manipulate her, just present your case for preferring anal, why you think anal pleasure is so much better than vaginal, and how it can amplify her pleasure to keep things anal only from the start without distracting her pleasure with multiple sources and reducing both rather than focusing just on the one with the most potential for pleasure.

Present the benefits: greater pleasure, more intimacy and trust, and natural birth control. From there, you can talk about how it’s what you’ve always much preferred and how you think it’s really attractive and sexy that she hasn’t had vaginal sex and that you’d like her to try going and staying anal only with you and keeping her pussy virgin.

Message: Friends Liking AO

Maddie: I wanted to share some exciting news! I’ve been telling my friends about how much I love anal and AO for a while and have become “that girl” that they come to and ask questions about anal when they or their boyfriends want to try it, and I’ve slowly started to talk them into trying it more often and wearing butt plugs and they’re really starting to enjoy it a lot more and it’s not just something they do for their guys now! But one has a boyfriend who really prefers anal, and they’ve been doing it a lot lately, and she actually asked me for advice on going anal only with him as a gift! I told her to wear her plug more often to relax and to just tell him she wanted be anal only with him, and she did it. He was totally down with the idea (of course) and they’re going to try it until his birthday in May to start with. I told her she should make it permanent for his birthday if she has had a good time up until then. She said, “that’s the idea”, lol.

So I’m really proud and had to share, it feels really good to help another girl with anal only too, I can see why you do it!

Wow, that’s such great news! Thanks for sharing.

You’re right, it is incredibly rewarding and enjoyable to help people make the transition to the anal only lifestyle, and I encourage it for everyone who has the opportunity to do so. Open up to your friends and loved ones about how much you enjoy and prefer anal, how you’re anal only, and how you’re happy to help anyone else with anal play, anal sex, and going anal only themselves. Encourage they do an anal only challenge either by themselves or with a partner (a month is a good length of time to start with and extend it from there). If they’re just getting started, advise them on anal toys and anal play, how to get started with anal sex, and how to enjoy anal penetration without pain or discomfort.

If we all work together to encourage other people to explore anal pleasure and embrace anal only, more people will try it for themselves and many of those people will find that they, too enjoy anal sex more than vaginal and find a lot of benefits in being anal only.

In the end, that’s the purpose of this blog: sharing other people’s experiences and general advice in order to provide the inspiration and encouragement to explore going anal only for yourself, to find out if you like it.

Message: Is It Necessary to Stop Clit Stimulation?

Anonymous: I’ve been only having anal sex for several years and I love it. I have really wanted to stop rubbing my clit too, but I struggle with that a lot more than stopping vaginal penetration. It was easy to stop doing vaginal, anal feels a lot better. But I always still give in to rubbing my clit sometimes, especially on my own. When I’m having sex it’s easy. But if I’m just masturbating, it’s hard to resist. Do you have any advice, and how important do you think it is for anal only girls to not touch their clit?

Congratulations on being anal only for several years now!

Clit stimulation and whether it continue it as part of being anal only is very much a matter of personal preference. Many people in the anal only lifestyle have no problem with continuing clit stimulation and just replace vaginal penetration with anal. Some avoid it during sex but do it when masturbating. And others avoid it entirely, finding that it makes it harder to commit to the anal-centric mindset and lifestyle or makes it harder for them to orgasm from anal.

If you’re happy with how you are, then enjoy it and don’t worry about what other people do. Anal only is fundamentally about anal penetration instead of vaginal penetration, and things like excluding clit stimulation as well are additional choices on top of that which can pair well with it for some. But if you really want to pursue clit denial, especially if you feel like you lose arousal or feel depressed after clit orgasms, there are some things that you can do.

  • Work on orgasming from anal penetration instead. If you can already do this, try doing it more often to make it easier so your body gets more used to anal orgasms instead of clit orgasms.
  • Challenge yourself to gradually go longer and longer without clit stimulation. A few days at first, then a week, then a few weeks, then a month, etc. If you give in to the urges, just pick back up and try to beat your previous record. The longer you go without it, the easier it will get in time, and the more your arousal will become anal centric.
  • Use tape on your pussy or a small amount of numbing cream to temporarily remove sensation from your clit when masturbating. If you want a long-term solution, consider a clit shield.

For more information on clit denial and how to move past it, read our guide on the Benefits of Avoiding Clitoral Stimulation During Anal Sex.

Message: My Anal Only Experience

Anonymous: I just discovered your blog and wanted to share my anal experience because I think its objectively pretty hot and you seem like folks who would enjoy it. My boyfriend is 12 years older than me and only likes anal and never lets me touch my pussy during sex. And while I really like anal I can’t come from it alone, but I get really turned on by being submissive to him so I just sort of learned to focus on his pleasure, and now there’s nothing I like more than the feeling of him tensing up and cumming inside of me and knowing that I satisfied him.

Granted we don’t have anal everyday because it’s a bit too much work so on the days we can’t I go down on him whenever he wants. But on the days we do have anal he’s usually really rough and wild and does a bunch of fun kinky stuff like spit on me, or slap my butt and my pussy, or call me mean naughty names.

As much as I like our sex life I’m always on the prowl for new kinky things we could do, and was wondering if you have any suggestions for novel kinky stuff we could try.

A couple things come to mind based on what you’ve shared.

  • You mention that you can’t orgasm from anal alone, and that you don’t touch your pussy during sex. Do you touch it when you’re on your own and masturbating? While everyone is different, something that has worked for a lot of women to start experiencing anal orgasms without clit stimulation is to also transition to anal only when orgasming, so that their body can adjust fully to anal stimulation only and learn to orgasm that way. Clit orgasms tend to be a lot easier but less satisfying and because they happen more quickly, they can prevent getting to the point where you orgasm from anal.
  • What part of having anal every day is too much work for you, is it the cleaning or the warming up/stretching part of the preparation process? If it’s cleaning, you might try a higher fiber diet or taking fiber supplements as a way to naturally stay cleaner and require less manual cleaning. If it’s warming up and stretching, have you tried wearing a butt plug for at least a few hours a day if not longer (sleeping with one in can work well)? This can really help with staying warmed up for anal sex and making it more spontaneous, and also boosts your anal arousal and sensitivity. As you get used to wearing a plug longer term, you can try experimenting with 24/7 plugging.

Beyond that, there are all sorts of fun things you could try. Tape on your pussy to cover it up and prevent access to it, numbing cream to prevent feeling anything in your clit temporarily, stretching with bigger plugs or toys, double anal play, ass to mouth, rimming, and more!

Message: Learning Double Anal

Anonymous: I’ve been excited to read about people’s experiences with double anal sex. I like watching it in porn and it’s been one of my fantasies recently that I would like to try for real. Do you have any advice on how to start doing it myself?

In general, you can follow the same principles of anal sex and anal training to go larger until you are able to fit two toys or two penises, but there are a number of tricks and nuances that can help with the process, and I’m working on writing a full chapter on double anal sex for the Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle section of this website. Keep an eye there for more information as well as a few more chapters on other topics to come soon!

Message: Anal Only Girlfriend

Anonymous: I found this site after my girlfriend told me that she doesn’t like vaginal sex and wants to do anal only with me. I am worrying that I am doing something wrong and not giving her what she needs, but reading here it seems like many girls just prefer anal, is that true? I love anal, but I don’t want to limit her if she wants more than that or if she just isn’t enjoying vaginal because of me.

It’s definitely true that a lot of women love and prefer anal, some to the point of not wanting vaginal at all. It has nothing to do necessarily with the guys, it’s just their own preference, and can be for a lot of reasons. Of course, some may prefer it because they know that guys prefer it and they get enjoyment from that, but in many cases it comes from a personal preference for anal already.

Keep communication open with her about it and make her comfortable to be open and honest with you, and you won’t have to worry about her doing something she doesn’t want to. If she approached you about wanting to be anal only, chances are she just loves and prefers it and wants to be an anal only girl, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Enjoy it together and satisfy each other’s needs.

Message: Desperate for Anal

Anonymous: Covid has made it really hard for me, it’s been a long time since I’ve had sex and I’m really lonely and really want to be in an anal only relationship. I’ve been trying my best to keep things anal only but it’s easy to give in and masturbate other ways too when there’s no end in sight and I get really jealous reading about couples who were together before it all started and have been able to use this time together to go anal only or try new things but for everyone else dating doesn’t exist anymore.

I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a hard time with it. I think a lot of us who are single are experiencing something similar, and it is hard when we want to date and meet new people but we can’t. Hopefully things get better soon, though!

As for staying anal only in the meantime, you can always try to spice things up again and give yourself new challenges, or you can try to meet someone online and have them challenge you and give you some level of motivation and commitment.

Best of luck!