I don’t know about other guys but I’m definitely fully into penis denial since I started to try it a few years ago. I went back and forth with it at first but then I started to cum from just anal a lot more easily without it and then I was done with my dick, it’s so much sexier and feels right to be anal only without any part of my penis involved. I definitely encourage giving up both your penis stimulation and it’s so hot seeing cum just ooze out of my penis know I didn’t touch it at all. My gf loves it too she is also anal only and a vaginal virgin and we only use dildos since I don’t use my penis

Btw can you encourage more men to be anal only and maybe start a month just for them like dick denial December and can you give my gf some encouragement and reasons why she should stay anal only cuz she has said she wanted to give me her vaginal virginity

While it’s less common than the more traditional form of anal only where the man’s primary sex organ is his penis and the woman’s primary sex organ is her anus, there certainly are others who enjoy the same dynamic as you, where both partners are receptively anal only. If it works well for you, then that’s great! Anyone can enjoy receiving anal and anyone can come to prefer it, so it makes sense that being anal only is something that can appeal to women and men both in the same sort of way. There’s probably a bit more of a stigma about the idea of a man doing that still, unfortunately, so I suspect less people talk about it than practice or fantasize about it.

As for your girlfriend, you should tell her how much you love her being anal only with you and think it’s really sexy and wonderful that she’s a vaginal virgin. Tell her how you value the two of you staying anal only. A lot of anal only women regularly express how they wish that they had kept their pussy virgin and stayed anal only from the start rather than wasting time on their vagina in the hopes that it would be something worth doing. I understand the drive some people have to try everything and find out what they like best, but the reality is for most people, anal is so much better than anything else and by starting with anal, vaginal will usually end up just being a disappointment and something to regret. Committing to anal only is something that can always change in the future, but she can’t go back to being a vaginal virgin.

ilikeitintheass: Over 11k followers and counting. I’m always surprised when I see that number growing. Thank you. I know I don’t post as much (in terms of updates). As you can all imagine, I have a busy life now that I’m in a relationship. So since I have the time, I wanted to tell you all what I’ve been up to lately and also where I am currently in terms of being Anal Only.

The big news, is that my boyfriend proposed and I said yes. We are planning on getting married soon. This arrangement of course works with our partner who is living with us. I’ve known him for most of my life and this is the perfect step for us at this time. We both envision our lives together, through it all. We will continue to have an open relationship, and we will continue to live with our partner as long as she will have us. We have so much love for each other but we also understand the complexity of this kind of relationship.

The other news is that I am now officially Anal Only. I have been for exactly one month, but I didn’t want to jinx it. So now you all know. The rules (our rules), is for me to experience anal only, without clit stimulation (but this is not a hard rule, like it was the last time). If it does happen, then it happened. This is mainly because my girl loves my clit and loves to go down on me and sometimes she’s just in the mood to do that. By going Anal only, I do take something away from her, and this is the best compromise. My boyfriend/fiance, is happy to go anal only completely with me, so in the least, there won’t be any clit stimulation with him. Another obvious rule is that there won’t be any vaginal stimulation or penetration meanwhile. This honestly works perfectly as I can get off the pill, it’s not my favorite thing in the world.

I think it’s the perfect time, since August is known for being ANAL ONLY AUGUST, so I will try to post about my anal journey and experiments and orgasms. I will also try to have anal stimulation everyday, whether I have an orgasm or I don’t. Even if it’s just wearing a plug to a meeting or something like that.

So stay tuned. Thank you once again for your interest. My ask box is open I’m sure you’ll have questions for me about everything I wrote. 🙂

Consolidating multiple asks together here again to be easier to read and respond to, and responding inline below.

Hi. You were kind enough to answer me, you gave me the tag 20180705. It’s nice that you worry about what I want myself, but my options are limited: the way I see it, either I quit my boyfriend and our relation (we live together), or I simply learn to enjoy anal sex more than I do currently, and accept the idea of just having anal sex from now on (which is the hardest thing for me: I like anal sex, but the idea that only my ass will be penetrated for the rest of my life is depressing to me).

Thanks for following up!

There can definitely be times where sexual differences come to that point in a relationship, where one partner has to decide whether they are willing to compromise and learn to change and come to enjoy something that may prove a difficult process to adjust to, or to end the relationship. There is no universal right answer here, and it’s going to be different for everybody.

If, long term, going anal only is what you ultimately decide on, however, I think you can very much get to the point where it’s no longer depressing to consider the idea that your pussy won’t be part of sex anymore and that you’ll be anal only going forward—it can, in fact, be sexy and exciting to think about instead.

The way my boyfriend told me he loathed vaginal sex was so clear that I’m not picturing myself begging for him to force himself (apparently, he already did all those years, and couldn’t cope with it any more).

This can definitely be an issue in a lot of relationships, where one partner is afraid to be honest about what they really need sexually and it can lead to a sort of unhealthy resentment or suppression until it comes to a head. It’s better for everyone to open and honest early on and either work it out or not.

The flip side of this, however, is your own enjoyment and needs. It’s great for him if things are out in the open from his perspective and he’s now getting what he needs, but if that’s at the expense of what you need, then it can lead to that same unhealthy suppression for you. I’m not saying it will, just that it’s something to consider and that you need to balance if you decide long term to go forward with anal only.

I’m also not really into masturbation, the few times I did it, I felt like a loser, especially during sex with a man. The distaste of my boyfriend for vaginal and clitoral sex also kind of influenced me, and lately I sort of feel repelled by this area of my body, like it betrayed me.

This is not that uncommon for a lot of women, it seems like, especially during sex. The idea of masturbating/clitoral stimulation during sex can seem sort of selfish to a lot of people and like it takes away from the intimate connection and physical sharing that’s going on. As a sort of mental re-training technique, however, it can at times be really helpful to activate anal pleasure for some women. It’s far from the only option however, and it sounds like it may not be worth it for you as you start to lose interest in vaginal/clitoral stimulation.

Since I wrote to you a few weeks ago, I’ve talked about all this to my best friend, who’s gay and married for five years now: I thought he might be a good counsellor for anal sex. To my surprise, he told me he’s 100% bottom and hasn’t had any stimulation on his cock since he met his husband, who made him wear a chastity belt for two years at the beginning of their relation. I had no idea he was into BDSM nor the submissive type since he’s very athletic, discussing this brought us a lot closer.

He told me that learning to let go of the pleasure on his cock was the best thing that happened to him, and that in his mind, his asshole was his sexual organ. He gave me a lot of advices similar to yours, including experimenting with a dildo, and told me to be very active during sex: so far, when my ass is fucked, I just relaxed and opened up and sort of let my partner move, and he told me to push my ass against my boyfriend, arch my back, squeeze my anus/rectum on his cock, talk dirty, etc.

That’s great that you were able to discover someone so close to you who you could share experiences with and discover that you’re in very close to the same situation and that it’s not actually that unusual or strange. I’m glad that his positive experiences and insights helped you.

He told me that by showing how much I enjoy anal sex, even if I fake it at the beginning, my boyfriend will feel much more confident, and “a confident lover is a good lover”. So I bought a dildo about the size of my boyfriend (he’s quite big) and “exercised”, and indeed it made me realize my ass is much more sensitive and “active” than I thought it was. I tried to apply all this when my boyfriend and I had sex lately, and he seemed extremely happy and relieved, and felt much more passionate.

I definitely suggest keeping this up, both just with some external stimulation with your fingers when you’re horny in order to start seeing your ass more as your primary pleasure source and sexual outlet and arousal trigger, and with your new dildo to further practice that and to “train” for sex more. That sensitivity, arousal and sexuality centered on your ass will continue to grow significantly as a result.

I also stopped taking the pill, because there was really no point in taking it any more, and I sort of feel like the pill had more effects on me than I thought. I feel better and a bit hornier.

Sounds like a positive step to further commit into the lifestyle and move forward anal only. As your arousal grows from that too, and the realities of being off birth control further cement anal only for you, I suspect that your attitude towards being anal only and moving away from vaginal sex and stimulation will further shift and becoming more positive. There can be a bit of the “fake it ’till you make it” aspect there too, where during the initial stages you remind yourself constantly of all the positive things about being anal only and why it’s sexy and wonderful, and it becomes your natural reaction before you know it.

Good luck! I think if you choose to, you can make being anal only an amazing thing the two of you can share.

For more details on anal only training and all things relating to anal and the anal only lifestyle, visit our Anal Sex Advice & Guide to the Anal Only Lifestyle page!

Anonymous: I’ve been training my ass for a while now and yesterday I took up a larger toy and i got so horny because i arrived to this level while a couple months ago I couldn’t even put my finger. I’m trying to go anal only and havent touched my pussy for a week and doing anal play only and it’s dripping wet i can feel the wetness on my thighs all day long, sometimes I add clothespins on my labia for more exquisite torture, do you have a task for me to extend AO training ? Ps : i love your blog

First of all, congratulations on moving to a larger toy and on trying to go anal only! Obviously, I encourage and approve of such things, and hope that you continue to stick with anal only long-term!

It sounds like you’re trying to go anal only on your own, rather than with a partner. There’s nothing at all wrong with that, and when it comes to initial anal training I actually often suggest exploring it on your own first so you get to know about it on your own terms and in the future can go into it with less uncertainty and more confidence when you try it with a partner. For some people, it can also be more challenging, because with the anal only aspect, you don’t have any accountability except to yourself, and it can feel easier to give up when it gets hard, which in turn can feel like a failure if you “give in” to old urges.

But if that happens, you shouldn’t see it as a failure, you should see it as a natural part of the process of switching your urges to anal instead of vaginal. It doesn’t happen overnight if you already very much enjoy and have primarily stimulated yourself vaginally or clitorally until now. Definitely keep trying to push your limits and go as long as you can, but if you can’t take it anymore and end up masturbating vaginally or clitorally again, just dive back in after and try again. Each time around see if you can go longer than the time before!

To answer your question more directly, however, what I generally recommend for people struggling with going anal only in their solo play and wanting to avoid touching their pussy is: Any time you feel the urge to touch your pussy, rub and finger or use a toy in your ass instead. The hornier you get, the more enthusiastically you play with your ass. Take all that arousal coming from your pussy and clit and redirect it to your ass. In time, that arousal will start naturally shifting to your ass instead. If your clit is a big distraction to you and makes it too hard to resist, try some anesthetic cream like Orajel on your clit to numb it temporarily while you masturbate.

And finally, if you find that the clitoral denial aspect of anal only is too much for you, always remember that you can be anal only without giving up your clit. Most anal only women only engage in anal penetration during masturbation and sex but still combine clitoral stimulation with anal as needed. Some edge clitorally, some orgasm clitorally. Others get all they need from their ass. Experiment with all the options, but ultimately what’s best for you is something that you’ll need to figure out for yourself.

Enjoy!

After being with my girlfriend for over 4 years and having a great sex life (including anal sex about once or twice a month) we came across a few stories of couples going anal only. At first we were sort of mind boggled by the thoughts of couples being anal only. We couldn’t imagine the relationship actually working that way.

As time went on, we talked more and more and we decided to try it for a week. Only a week. We successfully finished that first week (5 times that week) after some struggles with it but we were able to keep going.

After 7 days, we added another week. Another rough week for her even though she enjoyed it. After that, we kept adding time and we made it for an entire month! The last week of our first month is when we learned a lot. We learned how to make it better every time we made love, even being able for her to reach orgasm occasionally. After more conversation, we continued into the next month. Even after only one month, my eyes seemed to find her luxurious asshole much sooner then her pussy.

Last week I went to our local KAY jewelry store and bought a ring, yes I bought a commitment ring. On Friday, June 29 2018 I surprised her with the ring! I asked her if she wanted to commit to an anal only lifestyle until we decide to have kids in the future. Her eyes gazed at the ring with excitement and then she looked into my eyes, smiled and said “yes, yes I will do as you wish.”

I slipped the ring on her finger next to our couple ring and she loves it! We celebrated our commitment with red wine, a romantic dinner and a night of hot kinky anal love making.

She will be getting a tiny tattoo on her right ankle within the month of July that will say “6/29/2018. STAY TRUE TO HIM FOREVER!”

Now let me add this, we had an amazing sex life before going anal only, but I feel like the connection and polarity I experience by making love to her through anal sex is much stronger. Her moaning is noticeably more aggressive and louder during anal (guys, take notice of the moaning with your women, please). Her giving me love and her body and soul in such ways has made our relationship much stronger. I know we will have vaginal sex again eventually but it will probably just be when we want kids someday.

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following response.

alwaysanalblog: A touching and inspirational tale which just goes to show how easy the transition to an anal only lifestyle can be for a couple who love and communicate with each other.

It doesn’t take very long to see the benefits of anal only, and a month or so out of a lifetime isn’t very long to find out if it is for you. If it doesn’t work out, then what have you lost? Having said that, most couples who approach it with an open mind quickly come to prefer it for the obvious increased connection and intimacy.

The only point where I would disagree with the account is the direction to take note of the woman’s moaning or vocalizations during sex. This is highly individual – I’ve known many women to be loud, and an equal number to be quiet, and it in no way reflects the pleasure or passion of the woman. Instead look for involuntary signs of arousal, such as dilated pupils; increased blood flow to face, neck, chest and labia; engorged nipples and clitoris; relaxing of the sphincter, as well as spasmodic contractions of the anus and rectum.

Hi. My boyfriend and I have been together for four years now. He introduced me to anal sex one year after we met (and I loved it), but with time, he started to spend way more time on anal sex than on vaginal. Two months ago, after we started kissing and I sucked his cock as usual, I expected him to lick my pussy then fuck it like we do, but instead he licked my asshole (for the first time, I really liked it) then he went straight to anal sex. Since then, we only did anal.

At first I didn’t say anything, but eventually I started to feel frustrated, so I told him about it. To my surprise, he then looked really distressed, telling me that he hated vaginal sex and just couldn’t cope with it any more. He told me that for years he did it just to please me, but couldn’t do it any longer, which to me felt like a shock. He assured me that being anal only made me feel frustrated now, but with time, it’d change into horniness and pleasure. He directed me to your blog.

And what do you think about this? His needs and preferences for anal and desire to be anal only are perfectly valid (and more common than many admit to), but your needs are valid as well, and in a relationship all partners get to have a say and come to a mutually agreeable solution. So it’s good that you’re both talking more openly about this now.

It sounds like you enjoy anal a lot but perhaps don’t get as much satisfaction from it in terms of orgasms at this time, and so are frustrated as a result of that. Is that a fair assessment? Would you enjoy being anal only if you were able to orgasm more easily or often? Would it interest you to try and work towards that as a goal? Or do you want to stop being anal only and go back to vaginal or a mix of vaginal and anal?

If you would like to stick with it and simply work to make it more satisfying for you, there are a lot of things you can try. Do you currently combine clitoral stimulation with anal penetration during sex, or do you forego vaginal/clitoral stimulation entirely? A lot of anal only women still combine clit play with anal in order to orgasm, and that’s a totally valid thing to do if it’s what you want and what works for you and keeps you satisfied being anal only. Others started that way and then worked over time to move away from clitoral stimulation and focus on developing their ability to orgasm from just anal. And still others dive straight in to pure anal only with no vaginal or clitoral involvement and use their arousal and frustration over time to help get to the point where they can cum from anal (or in some cases they enjoy the frustration and denial and choose to just go without orgasms and enjoy anal pleasure on its own without needing to cum to be happy, but that may not be relevant in this case).

Combining clit play with anal to orgasm is generally pretty straightforward and easy and probably doesn’t need much explanation. Developing the ability to orgasm from anal is a bit more complex and involved and can be different for each person, but ultimately is well worth it once you can do so, and anal only orgasms are amazing. Often it just involves a lot of practice and experimentation, seeing what feels good during anal and focusing on that to try and get closer and closer to the edge, giving in and relaxing, and paradoxically, not trying too desperately to orgasm sometimes.

Do you masturbate anally as well? If you don’t, I would really encourage trying it. Being able to do it at your own pace and really take the time to see what feels good for you and where your anal pleasure points are can help to unlock anal pleasure, plus it can make anal a lot more arousing by thinking of it as a way to masturbate and get pleasure for yourself on your own and not just something your partner wants to do to you.

So, in short, if you would like to continue sticking with anal only, it’s certainly possible to move past issues of arousal, frustration and orgasm. Do feel free to follow up with more questions or share what you ultimately decide to do if you like. Apologies for the late posting, I’ve been slowly working through my accumulated questions in my inbox and trying to get to everything as quickly as I can.

tathybiscathy: Hi how are you?My name is Tathy and I’m Brazilian. I just got to know your blog and I’m enjoying it. I believe we have the same sexual tastes. I’m only anal 6 months ago and I’m loving the experience. Actually I’ve always been in love with anal, since I was 13 when I gave my ass for the first time and I felt a much greater pleasure.I’m also looking for denial of clitoris and for 3 months I do not use it nor to masturbate alone. It is difficult, at times, to confess. But it has been very good,

ilikeitintheass: Hello tathy. Thanks for sharing. I agree with everything you said. It is difficult being in clit denial but I feel that enhances the experience. Well done. Keep it up and feel free to share some of your experiments and experiences

thatblondegirlisprettykinky: HOLY. SHIT. Y’all I just had my first anal only orgasm!

That is all. Thank you for your time and cooperation.

P.S. I know I’m supposed to be participating in #JuNO18 but this one snuck up on me (that’s why we were doing anal to begin with) I didn’t expect it and then BOOM like there is was. It was awesome!

say-no-to-the-o: “Denial has turned me into a cock-loving, cum-swallowing girl, who is also really enjoying the thought of anal and oral only penetration.”

— @ quean-heather (Say No To The O Member and Sister in Denial)

Anonymous: Hi, I’m a vaginal virgin hoping to never use my pussy. I was wondering if you had any tips to focus more on the right hole instead of always rubbing my clit? Thanks

Good for you!

To start with, don’t ever rub your clit unless there’s a finger, toy or cock in your ass at the same time. Make sure anal is always present and ideally the dominant form of stimulation. Once you get that habit going, then work to start reducing the clitoral stimulation to just enough to orgasm at the end.

If you get horny and feel an urge to rub your clit when you aren’t already playing with your ass, rub your asshole and finger it instead, or get out a toy and use it in your ass. The hornier you get, the deeper and harder you can fuck your ass. Take that energy your clit is trying to get you to give it and redirect it to your asshole instead.

If you still struggle with not touching it, you can try getting some numbing cream like Orajel and applying a small amount to your clit to remove sensation from it temporarily. Some women do so regularly or before masturbating or having sex in order to remove the urge and break the habit long-term.

Above all, remember your goals to be permanently anal only and to avoid all use of your pussy and clit. This is what you want, so always remember that and build up the discipline and willpower through your desire to stay anal only to self-enforce that goal.

Good luck! I’m sure you’ll do great!