Anonymous: My SO can orgasm anally but it takes a very long time to get there? Is that normal? Also, given that we sometimes need very lengthy session in order for her to climax is there a recommended position that’s comfortable (or makes her climax quicker) for both man and woman for long bouts of love making? Have a change around often means a pause which sets her back a bit.

It’s not abnormal. Some people orgasm from anal extremely easily, others take more effort to get there. Everybody’s different, both physically and in the habits and experiences that make something easier or harder.

Given that, which position is comfortable can vary from couple to couple as well, so I would suggest simply experimenting with different options and settling on what works best for the two of you.

debaucherycat: One week done. Another already started. I kept my hands well away from my pussy and didn’t get to cum on Saturday. It was surprisingly easy and pleasant. My ass and mouth got fucked. And my tits got a lot of attention.

I’m horny and easily excitable but not desperate yet. And I love it. I’ve got cautioned that prolonged no touch can just become dull. It didn’t. Whenever I think of being constantly denied anal fucktoy, it drives me crazy. It takes a thought alone to turn me into horny slut with a wet crotch.

Did I say I love it? I do.

Best of all (or is it worst?), I found courage to ask Him to stop bothering with my orgasms for good. And he agreed to try it out. After I promised to earn it. Isn’t that a lovely mindfuck?

I want to give my thanks for all, who shared my post and sent me messages. You are the best! And also thanks to everyone who simply liked. I appreciate it a lot.

I’m going to write about my progress once in a while. I hope you will stay with me on this journey.

Anonymous: First of all I love your blog so much! I’ve always loved anal and have recently realized that I want to live an anal only lifestyle. I am married and my husband understands I love anal and is willing to give it, but if he fingers or fucks me, he always does it in my vagina before my ass. How do I tell him that i don’t just like anal, but that i want to completely reject my vagina as my sexual organ? I think he knows i prefer anal, but not that I wish for it to be my only way to receive pleasure.

Thank you for the kind words.

I’d just start talking with him more about it and telling him what you want and prefer and need. If he fingers your pussy, tell him “I want you to play with my ass instead.” If he fucks your pussy, tell him “put it in my ass”. You don’t have to necessarily frame things in a manner that make him feel bad about doing things you don’t enjoy compared to anal, but telling him how much more you prefer anal and that you want to just do anal and oral all the time and how good it is when he plays with and fucks your ass can help to make it clear. You can also ask him to try going anal only for a month with you and see how you both like it. No Pussy November 2018, our annual fall anal only challenge month, is just a few months away!

Even before we married my girlfriend enjoyed anal sex very much.  She could never orgasm via her vagina or clit.  She never was one to play with her clit either.  But once my cock was in her ass, she could orgasm over and over while I fucked her.  Nothing else.  Nothing in her vagina, no clit stimulation, nothing but my cock in her ass.

By the time we got married, anal had gone from a once-in-a-while thing to every single time we had sex.  Even so, we did the whole porn menu; oral, vaginal, anal.  By the time we had been married five years it seemed like vaginal sex was just going though the motions; for both of us.  Then I stumbled upon your blog and the forums and began reading.  It was like a light bulb was turned on.  I knew right away I wanted to be anal only.  Vaginal sex had become a chore.  Even keeping my dick hard enough for vaginal sex was only made possible by the anticipation of sliding my cock into her ass.

I didn’t know what my wife would think of the whole idea.  I wasn’t sure she would want to quit having “regular” sex altogether.  It took me weeks to work up to tell her about the blog and forums.  Before I could even ask her she said, “Why didn’t we think of that?  Would you care if we only had anal?“  Of course I told her I wouldn’t mind.  I asked her if she thought she’d miss vaginal sex.  It blew me away when she told me she only did it because she thought I expected it.

I’m proud to say we’ve now been anal only for nearly a month.  What’s amazing is that her sex drive seems to have spiked.  I don’t know whether it’s the thought of only having anal sex, or the anal sex itself.  We’ve been having anal sex almost every day and agree with what we’ve read: anal sex seems much more intimate.  For some reason this seems especially true when you are anal only.  Our sex life is better than ever and we look forward to many years of anal only.

So thank you for your blog and the forums.  Like my wife said, “Why didn’t we think of that?”

Congratulations on discovering anal only. You’re not the first couple I’ve heard from who both preferred anal and both would’ve been happy going anal only years ago but were afraid what the other might think and so took longer than they would have otherwise to get to that point. I encourage being up front about it early on because of this.

If you’re now a month in, you’re going to find it more and more amazing the longer you go. There are couples who have been anal only together for years, decades even, and it never gets old, it just keeps getting better. So you have a lot to look forward to!

Being anal only is a huge arousal/sex drive booster for most people, especially but not exclusively women. It’s the increase in intimacy, pleasure, and the physical shift of pleasure source. Anal orgasms tend to cause more arousal rather than suppressing it like other forms of stimulation/orgasm.

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following response.

awesomegromm: It pays to talk about what you want in bed with your partner, instead of just assuming. Honestly. If anything, it was obvious the whole time. I don’t see how there could have been any question in your mind if she was up for it.

Anonymous: what type of numbing gels to people typically use on their clit? I picked up a generic brand today and it didn’t really do anything

Orajel is most commonly referenced, but there are a variety of brands/generics people may use. Different ones may use different numbing agents, so look at the active ingredients and see if there’s one that uses a different anesthetic than what you tried, which may have better results.

abundanciadeporno: I woke up horny this morning. I haven’t got a Dom or anyone to really help take care of this problem, so I started to masturbate a bit in the shower when it occurred to me… this isn’t a problem. If I deny myself and stay horny, I can do orgasm denial on my own. I could use an orgasm as a prize for myself for something far off in the future, like getting a scientific paper published or… passing my dissertation proposal. I can use my horny sexual energy and channel it into other things. Positive reinforcement, right? I can make it… let’s say 30 days to start. I’ll work my way up to 100.

So instead of finishing myself off in the shower, I put my buttplug in instead. It’s about 4 inches long, not very wide, but shaped for all-day wear. And I’ve done all-day wear on this one before, so no big deal right? It’s been a while, but… what the hell. Let’s give it a shot. It’ll keep me soaking wet all day.

So I get to work. I’m a graduate student, and it’s summer, so the lab is a little bit deserted right now. I’m the only one in all day, and I’m working from a personal computer that’s not hooked up to the university wifi… so of course the first thing I do is pull up tumblr. And I’m looking at all the anal-only porn I follow, all the orgasm denial porn, all the bondage and kinky shit… and I can feel my panties soaking through already. It’s 9am.

Around 11am, I’ve taken a break from looking at porn to writing it instead. I’ve got a little smut I’m writing for myself, and it’s making me ridiculously horny. I decide something needs to be done. I text my fuckbuddy who works on campus too. He’s cute and pretty well hung but doesn’t really do D/s so not a candidate for long-term companionship.

“Hey, do you want to come down to my lab and fuck my ass? Don’t let me cum, no matter how much I beg”

“Uh, fuck yeah. Be right there.”

Five minutes later, I’m on my knees taking his cock down my throat in my office. I love sucking cock- I could do it for hours, but that’s not what he’s here for. When I decide I’m done sucking him off, I give him a good coat of lube then bend over my desk. He shoves his thick cock in my ass and wraps his hand around my throat. I’m immediately fighting not to cum, riding the edge with all I’ve got, letting him pound my ass as hard as he can. After about 20 minutes, his hand tightens around my throat when he cums. I almost lose it. I can feel his cock throbbing in my ass, filling me up with his load, and then he pulls out. I pop the buttplug back in and show him to the bathroom so he can clean off, and then he’s gone.

I spend the rest of the afternoon dripping cum from my ass and feeling my pussy just getting wetter and wetter.

When I finally get home, a friend has stopped by to say hi and let themselves into my house. I’m dying to masturbate, but I know this is for the best. I’d just let myself cum, and I don’t want that. I haven’t decided what my punishment will be if I let myself cum before 30 days, but I know it won’t be good.

Finally, at midnight, my friend has left, and I’ve got the house to myself. The moment the door shuts behind them, I’m running to my bedroom to masturbate. I pull out clothes pins, my favorite 9in dildo, some oral anesthetic cream, my magic wand, and lube. Clothes pins firmly on my nipples (and pinching nicely against my piercings), I start to run the oral anesthetic cream on my clit. I’ve never really used it for this before, so I use just a little bit and rub it in really well. Within seconds, I can’t feel my finger on my clit anymore. I give it a good flick, and nothing. A hard smack? Still nothing. AWESOME.

I lay on my back and plunge the lubed-up dildo into my ass. It’s SO much bigger than the plug, but it feels like heaven as it stretches me out. I start working away, fucking myself HARD when I decide it’s time to up the ante. I switch the magic wand on and press it against my numb clit. I can feel it vibrate around my clit and on my labia, but it’s like someone is holding a pillow up against it. I crank it up to full blast (this can normally make me cum in SECONDS) and still feel nothing. Laughing, I keep fucking my ass with the dildo and pressing the wand up against me. I know if I hadn’t numbed my clit I’d be cumming like a freight train right now. I can feel the edge building up, but it just can’t go any farther. I fuck harder, I rub the magic wand against my clit in the way I know would normally set me over the edge… and I back off.

I breathe for a few minutes, let my heart rate get back to normal… then another coat of lube on the dildo and I’m back in the saddle. I edge again, and again, each time more painfully aware of how close the orgasm feels and how impossible it is to reach it.

As I’m catching my breath from my last edge, my phone buzzes. It’s 12:30, but there’s a text from my fuckbuddy. He’s near my apartment complex and wants to know if I want another round?

Fuck yes I do. I’m exhausted and sore but my pussy is still dripping wet. I rinse off real quick and reapply the oral anesthetic. Right as I’m laying back down in bed to wait for him, he walks into my bedroom. Immediately I’m ass-up and face-down, enticing him into my bed. Like a flash, his pants are off, he’s lubed up, and his hard dick is plunging into me again. His hands are all over me, squeezing my nipples hard and pulling on the piercings there. Then one is on my throat again while one rubs my clit. Feeling another edge and knowing I can’t cum, I gasp out that I used numbing cream. He pinches my clit hard. When I feel nothing, he flips me over from doggy into a sort of modified missionary, slapping my clit hard while he fucks my ass. He pulls on the piercing, flicks it, but I don’t feel anything. Usually any of these things would make me cum immediately, but right now they’re just making the edge hold longer and longer while he fucks my ass even harder. He plunges his fingers into my sopping wet pussy and then puts them in my mouth, telling me to suck it off. As I wrap my lips around his fingers and taste my desperation on them, he groans and fills my ass with his hot cum for the second time today.

He pulls out and I feel his cum dripping out of me. Roughly flipping me over onto my belly and lifting my ass, he grabs the plug from the nightstand, lubes it up, and sticks it back in my ass for me.

“Whatever you’re doing with this anal and anesthetic cream, it’s making you an insatiable sex-fiend… Let me know if you want to go again tomorrow.”

Writing this, I can feel my wet swollen pussy throb with need even as my clit is on fire from the abuse it took… My ass feels so well-used and sore, but I know it’ll be taking a beating again tomorrow one way or another.

Here’s to Day 1 of my personal Orgasm Denial Challenge.

debaucherycat: So I’ve been toying with the idea of giving up my pussy and clit for good. I’m anal only for some time already. I don’t remember when exactly was the last time I had vaginal sex, but I’m sure it was spring still. So I’m counting from the start of this summer, which makes almost three months now. But I do edge and the only way I’m able to is by clit stimulation.

The basic rules for me now are quite simple. I cum only with my man and only on Saturdays. To be allowed an orgasm I have to collect points during the week. I get them for giving pleasure to him, edging and keeping myself pretty. It’s not hard actually and we both love it. So, what’s this all about?

The thing is, ever since I told him about my kink and he took control of my orgasms, my mind keeps reaching further. I just can’t stop fantasizing about all the ways I could be denied even more.

So, I’m asking for a bit of help here. I will not touch my greedy clit for this week. (I started on Monday, so I suppose I might have to skip my weekly orgasm on Saturday also). This is a big deal for me. And I could use all the encouragement I can possibly get. Even a simple like will make it easier. But please send me messages and asks. Tell me I’m doing right. Tell me it’s for my own good. Tell me how long should I go without touching. And tease me about it. Pretty please.

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following response.

fuckaliciousnes: Pussy and clit don’t give anything close to the amount of pleasure your ass can. Give them up ?

Hi, it’s the girl you tagged 20180705 again, I didn’t answer for two weeks because my boyfriend and I were on vacation. I thought a lot during those vacations (and we fucked a lot, too), and I realized my main issue right now is less about my pleasure (which I was worried about first) than about pleasing my boyfriend. Learning that he spent four years taking care about my vagina and clitoris even though he hated them shocked me even more than I thought it did initially (and that was a LOT).

Both to regain my pride as a woman and to reward his dedication, I realize I sort of feel like I must repay him with at least four years of anal sex only, to make him feel good, and to simply see if it works for me. In fact, to me, it’s like I let him down, and I’m looking to seduce him again. I know it may seems like I’m submitting to him (but hey, he did submit to me all those years), but to me, it’s the opposite, learning how to turn him on and make him crazy with lust for me is empowerment.

I think people will get that sort of impression of submission to him at the expense of what you want, but ultimately it sounds like that’s not how you see it and in fact are enjoying this change. And even if it were a form of submission, there’s nothing wrong with submission so long as it’s your choice and gives you what you ultimately need. (And sometimes what some people need is denial of their own desires and a focus on pleasing their partner instead. There’s nothing wrong with that dynamic if it’s what works for you.)

Does this make sense to you? To that end, I’m still “exercising” my ass in secret with my “almost my boyfriend’s” dildo, wearing lingerie a lot more often, taking attitudes and poses during sex that STRONGLY suggest I’m craving anal sex, I’m more verbal during sex, I’m entirely ignoring my vagina and pussy (including in private while I “exercise”, like you and my gay friend suggested), and I even fingered my ass then licked my fingers in front of my boyfriend, which turned him crazy.

Sounds like you’ve gotten your routine down and pretty well figured out. Acting like you love and crave and need anal, both to him and to yourself, has the added benefit of ultimately making you love and crave and need it for yourself, so that’s really a good way to sort of “retrain” your own thinking about it too.

I also never fail to compliment him after sex, which isn’t very hard for me, because like my friend foretold, the more I do all those things, the better he gets as a lover: more passionate, tender, harder, hotter, more creative, etc. He’s also more assertive in general, even outside of sex, which is very rewarding to me. The only thing is, before, he always waited for me to have an orgasm before ending sex, and now, he basically stops after he cums, like my orgasms are irrelevant.

I’m not sure why exactly. In fact, since we’ve had “that talk” more than three months ago, I haven’t had a single orgasm, which started to weigh heavily on me. The last times we’ve had sex (lately it’s generally more than once per day, before “that talk” it was about three times a week) I felt really close to come, and I may have caused it by touching my clitoris, but I avoided it both because it felt wrong, and because I actually wanted my ass fucked harder instead, which felt weird.

Even weirder, even though I felt close to orgasm those last few times and our sex stopped abruptly because he suddenly came into my ass, it didn’t feel frustrating, rather, strangely rewarding. Also, it sort of felt hot and made me look forward our next intercourse, which was oddly satisfying. I think I sort of like the idea of my boyfriend not “bothering” with me: he faked pleasure for four years, so I enjoy when it’s obvious he’s just having his own fun and not making any sort of effort.

It can take some time for a lot of women to get to where anal orgasms are a regular thing for them, especially with a lifetime of vaginal/clitoral stimulation to overcome. It can get frustrating to not orgasm for that long, but that frustration and arousal can ultimately help to make sex a lot better, and over time further develop anal stimulation into your primary source of pleasure and ultimately an outlet for orgasm as well. It sounds like it’s become less of a priority for you to desperately seek orgasm, which helps as well—trying constantly for it rather than just enjoying anal for what it is can keep you from getting there, which seems kind of counterintuitive, but orgasms are weird that way. It sounds like you’re gradually getting to the point that some anal only women find themselves at, where in time they enjoy not orgasming and enjoy the constant pleasure and anal stimulation and denial more than an orgasm, and get satisfaction out of pleasing their partner more than their own release.

So long as you are happy with the arrangement, even with its challenges for you, and are willing to go forward with it, I see no problem with that. Just remember that even if you’re consenting to it now, if ultimately this dynamic doesn’t work for you and you need it to change, that’s absolutely your right.

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following response.

debaucherycat: This inspires me so much. I’m almost envious. And horrified at the same time.

It took me ages to find courage and ask my man to take control of my orgasms. Our current arrangement is that I get to cum on Saturdays, if I collect my „cum points“ over a week. I get them by giving pleasure to him and edging mostly. And when the day comes, he grants me an orgasm. If I’ve earned it. And if he is in the mood. And sometimes he just isn’t. Which adds a lovely twist to it. Along with me being anal only. Basically, he gets to fuck my ass or my mouth whenever he likes. And I get to edge and hope for the best.

But reading the story of that girl, who abandoned all of her pleasure for her boyfriend… Well, let’s just say, it gives me ideas. And that’s terrifying. Not so long ago orgasm denial was only an arousing idea. Something I liked to fantasize about. And now I’m living it.

Abandoning my clit for good is an arousing idea too. Maybe even more so…

I’m so fucked.

Anonymous: I’m practicing anal only orgasm denial (didn’t know anal only August was a thing until today!) and I decided to challenge myself. Today, I wore a thick, penis-shaped plug to work. I still have it in as I write this and it’s making me so wet feeling a cock up my ass in public. I feel like I’m squirming at my desk and it’s driving me crazy. All I can think about is the fullness of my ass, the emptiness of my pussy, and I had to tell somebody. I’m losing my mind (in the best way). ?

Thank you for sharing! Having a full ass and an empty pussy is an amazing feeling, isn’t it? That feeling right there, along with the increased pleasure and arousal from being anal only, as well as better opportunities for intimacy and more, are why so many go and stay anal only, not just as a short term challenge, but long term. It really is a much better way to be.

lonely-cute-boy: i allways liked anal sex,is so diferent and forbidden, dirty and wrong… Now i absolutely hate vaginal penetration, specially because of pregnancy consequences. But i have a severe problem with this AO community that dont let me join the thing: The strong misogynistic speech within the community. Some of you says horrible things against the female genitalia, and scorn the core of womanhood. I like to consider myself AO but i also love oral (cunnilingus). And i hate yours speech against clit.

I’ve gotten messages from you for years across my various blogs, usually containing extremely hateful language and death threats/encouragements to kill myself. So I don’t owe you any response at all and the only reason I’m even acknowledging this message is because it’s the first in all that time that warrants an actual response that might be beneficial to the other followers of this blog.

Understand that not all blogs are alike and while there are certainly those with a misogyny kink, none of those are mine nor are they endorsed by me. And while I do encourage people interested in the anal only lifestyle to also experiment with clitoral denial and see what the benefits of it are for themselves and then decide whether it’s something they want, it’s certainly not a requirement for the anal only lifestyle, and I would say that the majority of anal only women enjoy a combination of clitoral stimulation and anal penetration. There’s nothing wrong with that if it works for them.

My encouragement to go without clitoral stimulation is due to certain benefits for some women who can suffer from a sort of depression and serious loss of arousal post-clitoral orgasm, as well as the fact that focusing on just anal stimulation without any vaginal or clitoral stimulation, it is often possible to unlock increased forms of anal pleasure and learn how to orgasm from anal alone. So the intent and focus here is in developing increased pleasure, not denying pleasure.

If you enjoy performing cunnilingus and clitoral stimulation on women alongside anal sex while excluding any vaginal penetration, that’s still consistent with the anal only lifestyle, so long as your partner wants the same. The fundamental “rule” of anal only is that you don’t engage in vaginal intercourse. Everything else is up to your own personal interpretation and what works for you and your partner.

You’re accusing me and others of saying horrible things about the female genitalia, but you yourself opened this message by saying that you hate vaginal penetration. Now, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that—I’m not at all a fan either—but it’s a bit hypocritical to say that and then accuse others of being hateful by saying they don’t like clitoral stimulation. Women aren’t just their vaginas or their clits, they’re people. And people are complex. Some might agree that their vagina or clit is their sexual/pleasure center, but others are going to much prefer their ass getting all the attention. You have your preferences. Recognize that other people, men and women both, have their own preferences as well and they may differ from your own, and that conflict doesn’t make the other people evil or hateful, nor does it justify your own hateful reaction.

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following response.

tenderlyfoulphantom: Yes, it is sad and a little bewildering that so much AO (and just A) stuff is permeated by miscogyny. It should be about pleasure, not pleasure through inflicting pain. There can be an air of the forbidden without expressions of hatred and pain.

To which the following response was given:

I’d argue that the majority of AO content online is not that way at all, but there are some blogs that focus on that aspect of things. But understand too that it’s a kink and fantasy for the vast majority who post such content. There are those of all genders who appreciate it for that kink. Just because you and I aren’t into that aspect of AO doesn’t make it wrong so long as it’s consensual. We can just choose to not follow those blogs.