Evan: I asked my girlfriend to go completely anal only with no clit or pussy stimulation and she said she’d do it if I did it too so I said sure I like anal penetration anyways and she said she would go as long as I can go so any tips to keep way from touching my penis so she won’t touch her clit?

Sounds like a fun and interesting challenge to try together!

For one, you could always try to play together as much as possible so you can hold each other accountable and remind each other not to touch. Otherwise you can check in with each other daily and talk about it to help keep reinforcing it for the both of you.

A physical chastity device is probably your best bet if you have a hard time with the self control side of things. You can get cheap chastity cages on eBay for considerably less than the high-end ones available, though of course fitment and comfort may not be as good as with high end or custom ones.

Anonymous: Hey, I saw the reply you gave saying that some women succeeded on removing their clits completely. It’s my dream to remove my clit and get circumcised. I have two problems: I have no idea how I could possibly get this done and I’m afraid of what people (that I will sleep with) might think, I’m 110% sure that if I removed my clit and have only anal I will not regret it because I TRULY want this for many different reasons. I’m afraid I will never be able to remove it or if I am no one will ever want me cause they will think this is crazy. I wanna hear your advice.

So, a disclaimer before I respond further to this. I support the right of people to modify their own bodies however they see fit, and I think that if a woman wants to remove or desensitize her clit, especially if it would improve her quality of life for any one of a variety of reasons, then she should absolutely be able to do so. However, I do not support the forced, coerced, or in any other way nonconsensual use of clitorectomy, infibulation, or other form of nonconsensual female genital mutilation against anyone, ever. Informed consent, as with everything else, is absolutely mandatory.

With that out of the way, let’s dive into your questions.

Some people are confident and skilled enough to do it themselves, or to have a trusted partner who can do it for them with the use of localized anesthetic and a scalpel. This isn’t something I would recommend you try, however. Any surgical procedure, however simple it may seem, should be done by a skilled professional.

That’s a problem, however, because most medical professionals in western countries are not going to participate in a clit removal procedure. Between the aforementioned concerns about coerced FGM, and general medical concerns about operations that aren’t medically necessary or which interfere with what’s considered normal, doctors generally aren’t willing to do such procedures. Some people have had success with such operations in certain Asian countries, like Thailand. In the event of an oversensitive clit that actively interferes with your life, you may have more success, especially with less permanent procedures, like the use of botox injections into your clit to desensitize it for a period of time (up to 6 months, usually).

As for what potential partners might think, don’t worry so much about that. It’s possible that not everyone is going to like the idea as much as you do, but some people will, or at least won’t be bothered by it. And a lot of people probably wouldn’t even notice if you don’t have a clit, or if it’s desensitized. Clits come in so many different sizes, and some aren’t even really visible, so the absence of one wouldn’t necessarily be too different from a tiny one.

I’d suggest experimenting with temporary clit numbing for now as you continue to explore the idea and decide whether it’s really what you want long-term. Products like Orajel or other similar topical anesthetics can often be found in pharmacies over-the-counter for cheap, and you can apply it in small amounts directly to your clit to numb it for up to a few hours at a time, perfect for during anal play or sex. Do this for a while to see what it’s like to have no clitoral sensation before determining your long-term goals.

Samy: Hello! Even though I’m a gay bottom, I’ve always loved your blogs. A few months ago, reading on clitoral denial again, I thought: “hey, why wouldn’t I try it myself?” So, I did exactly like you recommend here: I asked my partners not to pay any sort of attention to my penis any more, I stopped touching it altogether, I started playing with my ass more often, and whenever I felt the urge to masturbate my penis, I masturbated my ass instead.

And it works! Little by little, the urge for penis stimulation decreased, and the pleasure I’m getting from my ass went through the roof, both during sex and during solo play! My partners also noticed a HUGE improvement, they say my ass feels much better, more reactive to the fucking it gets, and they find me much more submissive and slutty and eager to please.

Now I regret not having done this way sooner. Even psychologically, I now perceive my ass as my only sexual organ. I really recommend anal sex and penile/clitoral denial to anybody who likes being penetrated, it’s a life changer! Thank you so much for your blogs!

It really is a life- and game-changer. The challenge is getting started and getting past old habits, but if you stick with it, excluding non-anal stimulation, whether it be penile or clitoral, really does make anal that much better, as you’ve discovered.

I’ve heard from a lot of different people over the years who have taken the same step and moved to pure 100% anal stimulation only, whether by simply stopping all non-anal stimulation, or through physical chastity or even more permanent options such as surgical removal of their clitoris, that all arousal shifts to their ass and their sexuality becomes completely centered around anal penetration rather than their genitals.

Just as there’s a huge difference between having anal sex regularly and excluding vaginal penetration to be anal only, there’s a similarly large difference between being anal only with clitoral or penis stimulation and being truly anal only, where anal penetration is the exclusive source of pleasure. It’s hard to understand without having tried it, but it significantly boosts arousal and unlocks new pleasures and anal desires and abilities you didn’t know were possible for yourself before.

If someone doesn’t feel ready to take this step or is happy with a combination of stimulation and doesn’t find that it interferes with their long-term pleasure or commitment to being anal only, that’s certainly fine, and you can absolutely be anal only without giving up penis or clit stimulation, but if you want to dive deeper into the anal only lifestyle and experience it even more fully, this is a great way to do it and I highly recommend it for everyone to at least try for a while.

For more information on this topic, see our guide to the Benefits of Avoiding Clitoral Stimulation During Anal Sex.

In our vagina- and clit-centric world, the idea of excluding clitoral stimulation in order to enjoy greater pleasure seems counterintuitive, but it’s in fact the reality for most women that focusing on pure anal stimulation will lead to more intense pleasure and orgasms in the long term—or, if you’re lucky, even in the short term.

The reason for this is that while the clitoris is an easy path to orgasm for most women, it’s a much more short-term and less-rewarding sort of orgasm compared one from pure anal. And clitoral stimulation often overpowers and gets in the way of the more subtle and nuanced anal stimulation needed to orgasm that way, preventing that more intense pleasure from forming.

It’s not just that anal pleasure is better, it’s that clitoral and vaginal pleasure can interfere with that better pleasure. Excluding clitoral and vaginal stimulation entirely boosts arousal, allows the focus to be entirely on anal, and amplifies everything.

If you’re just starting out with anal play or anal sex, you may want to include clitoral stimulation to help with relaxation and developing the association between anal penetration and pleasure through the use of existing pleasure sources, but once you’re able to reliably enjoy anal sex, it’s worthwhile to start exploring anal stimulation entirely on its own without the influence of clitoral stimulation, and see what pure anal pleasure can bring you.

Anonymous: Hi, I’ve read some other messages like this on your blog so I know I’m not alone, but I still wonder sometimes how normal this is, because it seems to go so against what most people think.

I’m anal only for more than the past year now and I had to struggle a lot at first to stop using my clit until I could really cum easily from anal and got past my urges to rub my clit.

Sometimes still, I feel like touching it but when I do, I always feel bad after, like I’m not being true to my anal only self and goals when I do so, and it’s just less emotionally satisfying after compared to when I just cum from anal, which feels great and I don’t feel bad after, so it’s by far how I prefer to cum.

Do you have any advice? I would prefer to just not get any urge to touch my clit anymore so I don’t get distracted, because even though I know that I don’t want to touch it and will regret it, in the moment sometimes I just do it anyway and then hate the fact that I did so afterwards.

I think it is a relatively normal thought for a perhaps surprisingly high number of women, especially among those who are anal only, but even those who aren’t sometimes.

That said, it doesn’t apply to everyone, and this answer isn’t meant to apply to everyone universally either. Some have very positive relationships with their clits and clit stimulation, and that’s great if it works for them.

In your position, it sounds like you know what you want and need and just need to work on eliminating those remaining urges. In some regards, you have to look at it from the perspective of a bad habit that you want to break and apply similar techniques towards your clit.

Visualize how you would feel after if you gave in whenever you feel the urge to touch it. It sounds like you have enough past experience to draw on for this to be a somewhat effective deterrent.

Use numbing gels like Orajel to temporarily remove sensation from your clit when masturbating or during sex, to eliminate the temptation to rub it. If you are worried about giving in to clitoral stimulation, just put a dab of numbing gel onto it.

Some women have had success with botox injections into the clit to reduce or remove sensation for a more extended period of time. You can talk to your doctor about the possibility of this—in some cases if you find unwanted clit stimulation particularly distracting or reducing your quality of life, you may qualify for having this done.

It’s a lot more difficult to achieve in the western world due to concerns about nonconsensual genital mutilation, but some women have had success with surgical removal. This probably won’t apply or appeal to most people, and one should only pursue it if they know absolutely that it’s what they want and have given it an extended period of thought, but it can be a viable option for someone who knows they want to live a completely clitless life with no opportunity for future temptation.

Still looking for a last-minute Valentine’s Day gift to give your boyfriend? If you aren’t already anal only together, why not go anal only for him? Whether it’s for the day, for a week, or for a month, tell him you want him to have anal sex with you as often as he wants without doing vaginal at all.

And if you are already anal only, this could be the opportunity to introduce something new, like clitoral denial, long-term butt plug wear, or working up to double anal, fisting or larger anal toy use into your routine.

And if by the end of your day, week, or month of anal only, you find that you really enjoyed it, just keep going with it! A trial period like this is a great way to discover that you actually prefer being anal only.

I’m 20 and I haven’t ever had vaginal sex, but I do anal all the time and I love how it feels so much. I masturbated my ass long before I tried playing with my pussy or clit, and my first boyfriend fucked me in my ass too, which got me hooked on it.

I’ve tried using a toy in my pussy and rubbing my clit to masturbate, but I just don’t like how it feels. Up my ass it’s amazing and I can cum so easily, in my pussy it’s just weird and kind of raw feeling and painful.

Plus I can’t get pregnant with anal, and all the guys love that I always want it up the ass, so I don’t see any reason to lose my pussy virginity. I think it’s a really sexy idea to stay a virgin there and just be a big anal slut until I decide to have kids someday.

Sound reasoning all around from this young woman, and it seems she already knows what she wants and needs and has no real issues with it. Still, she asks the audience of Is It Normal? for their opinion on her lifestyle choice. Unfortunately, the majority of them accuse her of being a guy, mock the idea in one way or another, or make troll comments. There are a few positive comments, but honestly, the most positivity comes from the original poster herself, who defends her position in a few cases, including to the claim that she must enjoy pain if she does anal.

What do you mean?? I don’t like pain, anal doesn’t hurt, it’s my pussy that does when I’ve tried using a dildo in it, that’s why I decided to not have vaginal.

Continue Reading at Is It Normal?

Anonymous: My anal only new year’s resolution for 2019 is to give up clit stimulation. I’m already anal only. I have been for years. But I really rely on my clit a lot and I think it is holding me back. So this year I want to quit. I’m not going to try to do it all at once immediately, because I tried that before and it never worked for me for more than a few weeks. I’m going to take the whole year to try using it less and hopefully by the end of the year I’ll be clit-free! Wish me luck, everybody!

Thank you for sharing your goal for 2019, and good luck! While clit denial may not always be for everyone, if you’re interested in exploring it or have frustrations with clit stimulation, I highly recommend doing what you’re doing and seeing how it works for you to work on excluding it going forward.

Gradually reducing clit stimulation during anal like you’ve mentioned is a great way to do it. And, while you didn’t say what you do currently, I’d highly suggest not masturbating with your clit at all unless you are also masturbating anally at the same time or having anal sex at the same time. This helps shift that focus over to anal as the primary act and clit stimulation as only a secondary, supplemental act which you can reduce and eliminate over time.

For more information about clit denial, its benefits, and ways to help with the process of excluding clit stimulation, see our Benefits of Avoiding Clitoral Stimulation During Anal Sex guide.

The time of new year’s resolutions is upon us, and if you aren’t currently enjoying an anal only lifestyle, consider this your prompt to move on from vaginal sex and go anal only yourself. Starting January 1, 2019, replace all vaginal sex and masturbation with anal instead. Anal is the way of the future, while vaginal is rapidly becoming a thing of the past for many people. Don’t you think it’s time you found out what the anal only lifestyle is all about for yourself?

And if you’re already anal only, this can be a good time to review your current implementation of the anal only lifestyle and see if there’s anything new that you would like to add into the mix, whether it be experimenting with clitoral denial and trying to focus on anal only orgasms, incorporating ass to mouth into your routine, starting to wear a butt plug more regularly for a constant reminder of anal pleasure or just as a practical tool to make frequent anal sex easier, experimenting with chastity devices or piercings, or anything else that appeals to you!

Be sure to check out our brand new Anal Sex Advice & Guide to the Anal Only Lifestyle page for information on introducing anal play and sex into your life, going anal only, and far more! And if you decide to make anal only your new year’s resolution, be sure to leave a comment or send us a message.

Merry Christmas! For years, we’ve been answering questions about anal sex and the anal only lifestyle and giving advice to countless people through this blog, and that’s never going to change! But, while manually migrating nearly 1,900 posts off Tumblr to the new version of this blog, it became clear that many of the same questions got answered over and over again over the years.

To prevent redundant posts going forward, we’re happy to announce a new section on this blog, accessible via the Guide link in the menu at the top of each page, Anal Sex Advice & Guide to the Anal Only Lifestyle. Broken into a number of key topics, this page attempts to answer in detail most of the frequently asked questions about anal training, myths about anal sex, hygiene and enemas, types of lubricant, butt plug and dildo recommendations, how to have anal sex for the first time, how to have anal orgasms, how to go anal only and why one might want to do so, dating and finding new partners for an anal only relationship, and more.

More topics will be added in time, and more details will be added to pages as relevant additions come up or are recommended. If you see anything missing or that you believe is incorrect or should be amended, please feel free to send a message or leave a comment on this post and let us know.