Anonymous: Hey, I really want to thank you for this blog. All my life I’ve had struggles with my identity and whether or not I was a real woman. I often thought of myself as different or maybe as a man and thought perhaps I was transgender, embracing that identity for a while. But the reality is that a lot of that confusion came out of being uninterested in vaginal sex and finding it a total turn off while I loved playing with my ass and then having anal sex.
After I found this blog and community I realized there are lots of women who prefer anal or who are anal only and that it doesn’t make them less of a woman and knowing that has helped me with my own identity and I am happy to say that I am proud to identify as an anal only woman now and will not use my vagina and that will not make me any less of a woman. Thank you.
I’m glad that my blog has helped you come to terms with your identity, and I hope that you find peace in embracing being an anal only woman. Whatever your gender identity, I think anal only can be enjoyed and embraced by and benefit everyone! Let’s move forward together without vaginal sex and be more equal as a result!
Anonymous: So, I’ve followed this site for a while. I’m a female. I get super turned on at the thought of vaginal abandonment and orgasm denial. However, the vaginal abandonment term is not something I hear or read about often. Wondering why that is? I’ll be discussing this with my partner and I am unsure of how he will feel about it. He comes from a fairly conservative culture. So it’s something I’ll need to bring up lightly initially. At any rate I’ve tried finding good resources such as other blogs or articles and even testimonials about specific vaginal abandonment and why it’s done. Not sure if I’m making sense. Perhaps it’s just a terminology issue and I’m missing the point. I dunno.
“Vaginal abandonment” is used interchangeably with “anal only”, and the latter is catchier and easier to use so is more common. But they generally mean the same thing. The end result is avoiding use of your vagina and having anal sex in its place.
There are lots of resources on the topic here, but outside of this community it’s less commonly discussed. If you have any other specific questions or advice wanted, feel free to ask! And let us know how it goes when you discuss it with your partner—I hope for your sake that he agrees to go anal only with you!
Cass: My boyfriend and I started doing double anal this month using a dildo while we have sex and I really really love it. It makes anal even more enjoyable and I think I’d like it to be a regular thing but I wonder how much better it is with another guy rather than just a dildo and also how it is for the guys, can it be something they want to do every time or just sometimes?
Different guys have different preferences, of course, but there are certainly women in a double anal only or frequent double anal dynamic with two men, and some men absolutely love doing it and get increased enjoyment out of the experience in addition to the woman who obviously benefits from a greater stretch and increased stimulation having two penises moving inside her ass at the same time.
Talk about it with your partner and see what he thinks, whether he likes doing it regularly with you, and whether he wants to transition to double anal only and try it with another guy as well. If he’s into the idea, great! If not, see about keeping it at least a regular part of your routine.
Cassie: Hey, I’ve been wondering lately how I can stay anal only and I wonder if you have any ideas. I’ve never had vaginal sex and I don’t want to, I love anal and being anal only because it’s what I’ve always done and I like how it feels and makes me feel and it’s natural and best for me plus I don’t get pregnant but can have sex all the time still.
But I’ve met some guys lately who have really been pushing me to do vaginal and to lose my virginity and I really don’t want to but I really like the guys too. I’d like to stay with them but do just anal. Is there a good way I can convince them that anal only is better?
Stand up for what you want. If being anal only is what you want, don’t let a guy pressure you into doing something that you don’t want to do. If you want a long term anal only relationship, a guy who wants vaginal from you and doesn’t respect your desires isn’t a guy you want to be in a relationship with anyway.
All relationships have give and take, but it’s also fine to have your own needs and requirements and hard limits, and if being anal only is important to you, it’s perfectly sensible for vaginal sex to be a hard limit in your relationship. Be up front about that with partners and if they respect it, great! If not, there are many other men out there, some of whom will share your same desires and love that you want to be anal only!
To make a long story short, I (20f) have undergone vaginal surgery which caused sensitivity loss. The doctor has also mutilated a lot of other women as I have later found out.
Now, it looks perfect, I still get very wet but this period without being able to touch my vagina made me want to explore pleasure in another way, as I have always had a curiosity for anal.
Since I was small I have experimented with it and now recently I came to terms that I probably will have to explore that forever if I want to feel real pleasure.
I have been using improvised toys (I’m poor lol don’t judge) and I can cum very fast, it’s still not only anal orgasm as I do still try to touch myself but I have just been crazy about it.
I have not had anal sex yet, so my question is, what are the chances of anal sex being as good as anal play and me actually enjoying it? i haven’t tried it yet because I don’t want to be disappointed as I feel I am doomed to have to use it forever anyways so I don’t want a bad experience.
Are there any other women who have gone through a similar experience as well?
Max: I receive anal only because it’s the only way that I really enjoy sex, but I like women. Do you think that there are women willing to have a relationship with someone like me? I have no problems with my singleness, it’s just a question. Obviously there are many ways and tools to satisfy a woman, I would have no problem doing what she needs and want, except my cock hehe. It would be give and take…
There are all sorts of women out there who like many different things, and I have no doubt that there are women who would enjoy being with a partner who doesn’t want to use his penis to penetrate her and would like to instead focus on penetrating him. It may be a less common niche, but I’m sure that if you look in the right places and are open about your needs, you’ll find the right person.
It’s here! A month of pure anal only sex and your opportunity to challenge yourself to see what it’s all about or to try new things related to the anal only lifestyle.
After nine years in a row, No Pussy November still remains our flagship month each year to celebrate anal sex, the anal only lifestyle, and to encourage new people who aren’t yet anal only to challenge themselves to trying it for a solid month and seeing what it’s like.
If you’re new to the anal only lifestyle and you want to give it a try, this is a great time and way to do it! Talk with your partner now in advance of November and make sure you’re both on board with the idea, or if you’re single and want to try it with toys, get yourself to the point where you’re comfortable with anal masturbation on a regular basis—at least 3 to 5 times a week, if not every day.
If you’re already anal only, there are plenty of other things that you can try as a No Pussy November challenge this year!
If you still use clitoral stimulation, you can challenge yourself to stop and focus purely on anal pleasure and anal orgasms. The more you go without your clit and rely on anal only to orgasm, the easier anal orgasms get!
If you aren’t wearing a butt plug regularly, you can challenge yourself to wear one at some increased interval, or to spend the entire month plugged as often as possible. If you want to reach the latter goal but aren’t quite there yet, you could work yourself up to that point over the course of the month.
You can challenge yourself to make ass to mouth a regular part of your sex life, normalizing it by doing it every time you have sex this November.
You can start to introduce double anal to your sex life, either through play with two dildos, a partner and a dildo, or two partners.
Along the lines of that latter idea, for those who are particularly interested or experienced with double anal, we’re continuing to encourage an official advanced challenge: Double Anal Only November, where those who want to or are able to masturbate regularly with two dildos in their ass or have double anal sex regularly spend the entire month only having double anal sex every time they have sex. Naturally, this is going to be somewhat limited to people who have multiple partners who want to have double anal with them, but you can also participate by always using a toy along with their partner to achieve double anal, or by masturbating with a minimum of two toys in your ass at a time.
Anonymous: I am glad to inform you that today I reached an agreement with my GF: we are going from anal mostly to AO!! She is worrying that pussy orgasms are needed for the good health and hormonal balance of a young woman. Well, medicine is not my cup of tea hence I am not gonna judge the scientific basis of what she thinks. I anyway accommodate her concerns offering her the possibility to cum with pussy only out of her lesbo fantasies, while what concerns us both has to go anal only
Congratulations, it sounds like it will be a very rewarding arrangement for the both of you. I think you’ll find that a number of anal only women may still involve some clitoral stimulation with other women even if not with men. Others decide over time that it’s worth going pure anal only even when with men, and keeping things focused on anal penetration and rimming. Perhaps in time she’ll decide that as well.
At first it was hard because I also gave up my orgasms to my husband. As time went on I forgot about the orgasms. They stopped being what would drive me during sex. Now I’m able to focus just on him and making him feel as good as possible. My fulfillment comes from his pleasure. He has me stretch my cunt wide everyday. My cunt is for pain not pleasure. My throat and my ass are for his pleasure not mine.
Anonymous: What are your thoughts on “vaginal sex just on her birthdays”—that is, not being AO once per year?
Everyone can interpret the anal only lifestyle in different ways and make it work for them how they want, but personally I’m advocate for the purity of true anal only, and committing to a better life without vaginal sex and not going back to it.
That said, some anal only women have tried vaginal again after a year or two of anal only and found that it further strengthened their commitment to being anal only because in contrast with the intensity and passion of anal they found vaginal to be boring or downright unpleasant when trying it again. So there may be advantages to trying it at times—not as a treat, though.