Squirting is a popular porn category, but although it’s not as common IRL, squirting can and does happen — including during anal sex.

As you might already know, squirting, also called female ejaculation, is the name for what happens when fluid “squirts” out of the urethra during sex. This occurs when the Skene’s gland — a gland located inside the anterior wall of the vagina — is stimulated, explains sex and dating coach Myisha Battle. This stimulation makes the Skene’s gland fill with fluid, which is then expressed through the urethra.

“Historically, we thought about stimulation of the G spot contributing to more intense orgasms and the potential for female ejaculation,” Battle explains, but “in the sexological world, we would probably lead more towards calling it the S-spot, because the Skene’s gland is something that, when stimulated, fills with fluid.” Whatever you call it — the G-spot, the S-spot, or the Skene’s gland — you’re going to want to stimulate it through “penetration of some kind, either manually, with a penis or with a toy,” Battle explains. Ideally, she adds, with a “toy that’s curved.”

Continue reading on Refinery29

If you have a vagina, the odds are that you need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. But there are some lucky people who report that they’ve achieved a less common type of climax: the near-mythical anal orgasm.

An anal orgasm is exactly what it sounds like — getting off by stimulating the anus. Most people associate anal orgasms with people who have penises, since they have a prostate (a gland located inside the anal canal that’s considered a “potent pleasure point”). But even though people with vaginas don’t have a prostate, sex experts and doctors say it’s possible for them to achieve an anal orgasm. After all, some women can come without their genitals being touched at all. So why write off the possibility of getting off from booty action?

Anal orgasms are possible for people with vaginas because of the anus’ proximity to the nerve endings of the vaginal wall and pelvic floor, says Evan Goldstein, DO, founder of Bespoke Surgical. By having butt sex, you can pleasure your vagina from indirect contact, he says. Not to mention, your anal opening and the inside of your butt are erogenous zones in and of themselves. Even if you don’t get off from anal play alone, the anus is a part of the body riddled with nerve endings that, when stimulated properly, can provide an array of sensual delights.

Continue reading on Refinery29

Annabee: So I stumbled upon your blog. it has opening me up to a new world. When I was preteen-teen I touch my clit and it felt kinda good. but once I was 16 it started feeling awkward. so never really masturbated that much. when I did with my clit it just felt weird in a way that made me not want to touch myself. almost depressed so I just didn’t masturbate that much and I really only did cuz I thought it was weird that all my friends were talking about how great it felt and I was the complete opposite I thought I was weird. fast forward to now I’m 30 and happy to say a vaginal Virgin I just found your blog and I thought I’d give anal a try so I bought a toy and some warming lube. I’ve tried a few times but haven’t been able to orgasm yet. One thing I do love seeing and doing is ride my dildo and watch my close pussy in the mirror but Just thought I would share my story and also see if you had any suggestions to help me orgasm from just anal.

Thanks for sharing, and I’m glad that you have found the blog helpful and inspirational.

Regarding anal only orgasms, you can try some of the tips in this article on the subject. It can take some time for some people to get to the point where anal orgasms are easy, but it’s well worth it once you get there. Some also find it easier with a partner but more difficult when just masturbating.

If you don’t like clitoral stimulation, you may not prefer to go down this path, but some like or prefer combining clitoral stimulation with anal penetration.

Good luck! The more you explore anal, the more you’re going to love it.

I am just curious if others prefer anal over vaginal sex..I was diagnosed with having uterine fibroids which cause me to have bad cramps and pain everyday plus I am going through menopause so I have vaginal dryness..When we start foreplay I am fine but not long after I dry up so I much prefer anal cause it seems to feel better plus I can orgasm…I thought about using creams for the dryness but kinds concerned of the affects from the creams…Anyone else experience the same problem and prefer anal?

melvinshelley2019, WeddingBee forums

A majority of the responses from other women are negative towards anal, with some even bringing up the same old myths of health risks from anal, but several women express their own enjoyment of anal or share that they similarly enjoy anal most and find vaginal uncomfortable or painful, or started out anal only.

Continue reading on WeddingBee

Anonymous: I found this blog by accident really, but I started reading it and kind of got hooked. I didn’t know anal only was a thing, but it totally makes sense. I love anal so much, I have pretty much since the first time I tried it. It kind of hurt that first time, but it felt so amazing I just kept going anyway and had my first orgasm from penetration without using my clit as a result, and I’ve never stopped doing anal since then. I hadn’t really thought about it that much before, but I’ve definitely been anal only for almost a year before when I had a boyfriend who loved anal as much as I do and that’s all we did, but it just sort of happened that way, we didn’t talk about it or decide to do it.

But now that I’m seeing that it’s a thing people choose to do, it has me really thinking about doing it again, this time on purpose. The idea is really interesting and exciting to me, actually, so I think I’m going to look for a new boyfriend who prefers anal and propose that we go anal only. I’m really looking forward to only having my ass fucked again!

Thanks for sharing, and glad to be able to help inspire you to go anal only (again)!

A woman posts on the Circle of Moms forum, asking whether other women enjoy anal sex:

Ever tried it? If so, do you enjoy it?
I am now at the point where it doesn’t hurt and it will feel good, but only while spooning. 
How about you ladies?

She receives a lot of very positive responses from other women who enjoy or prefer it themselves:

I am at the point where it feels good and I enjoy it more than vaginal.

At one time in my life if would have ask about anal I would have said hell no, But now.. I can honestly say it feel good to me now. A few years ago I had sex with a girl friend of mine, while our husbands were gone a deep sea fishing trip. We played around as usual but while she was licking my clit she put a finger in my ass. She was very good at what she did. It didnt hurt exactly just felt diffrent. She didn’t ram her finger in me it was slow and gentle and just enough I could feel the intensity. I had an orgasm while she licked me and fingered my ass. Afterwars I ask her about it. and she said whe would help me do anal if I wanted to. For months after that when I rubbed myself I would put a finger in my ass also. It became apart of my sexual fun. My husband never knew about my thought on anal. Later when her and I were together again she used 2 fingers and eventually after sometime had passed she fucked me with a dildo in my ass. I don’t think I would have liked it if a man tried anal with me at first, so I’m glad I learned to love it the way I did. Now I love getting fucked in my ass. I want say it feels better than my pussy but it feels diffrent and I enjoy it alot..

My husband and I do anal quite a bit when were are intimate I never thought I would do anal or even like as much as I do. I always thought about trying it but never felt confident enough to bring it up in any relationship I had, But when I met my husband he opened mny eyes to a whole new world and he didnt make me feel uncomfortable he made me feel sexy. i did anal for the first time about 4 months after our daughter was born, one night we were in bed fooling around and he asked me if it would be ok if he went in the other way as he put it and I said are you talking about my butt and he said yes so i said ok but go slow I had never done it and he did go slow he went slow and it was amazing I think the neighbors even heard us…lol

First, the partner (your man or a SO wearing a strap on or even using a dildo) musrt proceed SLOWLY. For me, that means taking at least 5 minutes of very gentle very deliberate short in-and-out movement. Second, a state of mind is required, I have to purposely focus on relaxing but more importantly when I feel the first pressure on my anus I immediately start short grunting-like movements as if I’m trying to have a BM when I’m constipated. I know it is gross to some to mix having a BM with sex but lets be frank … bearing down as when trying to pass a stool actually causes the sphincter muscle to relax and that means LOOSENESS. If you don’t bear down, your back door will be tight and that will hurt. The down side for me is I sometimes let out a small fart or two when my husband is about half way inside my anus but he expects it and knows it is natural. He has been doing my ass occasionally for the past 15 years and I now find it extremely enjoyable.

Don’t know that it’s my favorite, but I have to say my most intense orgasms have been from anal. I became a huge fan of it while I was pregnant for some reason. At that moment, it just worked for me and I asked for it a lot!

A few other women express that they don’t enjoy it, or that it isn’t their favorite, but on the whole everyone is positive about it and encouraging each other to do it more and how to enjoy it. It’s very nice to see a group of women all being positive about anal and helping each other out with it. The world could use more of that. Remember, if you have friends who might be interested in anal, open up to them, share how much you prefer it, and start talking about it and encouraging them to try it for themselves. And if they already like anal, encourage them to try anal only for themselves.

Continue reading on Circle of Moms

Hi there.

While not anal only my dominant partner controls my sexual experience including when and how I orgasm. Generally speaking he does not allow me to orgasm often – in fact I have only been granted five orgasms in seven months!

He recently told me tho that I may cum freely from anal masturbation. I have been enjoying my effort. It feels fabulous to fuck my ass with my fingers and my dildo. When I do do my pussy gets so wet – it almost continuously flows with periodic spurts that feel great. I usually stop only because I feel overwhelmed or exhausted but not because I really feel done or sated.

Now I don’t think of what is happening as an orgasm. It doesn’t feel like an orgasm. It feels good. Sublime. And it does relieve pressure. But I’ve been comparing it more to a man getting his prostate milked than to an orgasm.

Reading your blog tho I see you often refer to anal orgasms as feeling different, leaving the woman still feeling aroused rather than sated. So my question to you is what I’m having an anal orgasm and because it is so different from a clit or pussy orgasm that I’m just not recognizing it as such? Or do others also experience the same mind boggling non orgasm milking that I’m describing and do they distinguish it from an anal orgasm?

Thank you!
DS Quean

Hi!

While different people have different experiences, anal orgasms do generally still act as a climax with strong muscle contractions, etc. While they often won’t eliminate your arousal in the same way a clitoral orgasm might, they can reduce it somewhat and you can still feel satisfied afterwards often even though you might want to keep going. (For some women, the opposite might be true and an anal orgasm can be more like a ruined orgasm instead, but that seems less common.)

I’ve heard the comparison between clitoral and anal orgasms as the difference between an orgasm concentrated right in the clit and a full body orgasm.

I suspect that while you might be experiencing a state that could lead to orgasm, your comparison to prostate milking might be more accurate—very pleasurable, but not a climax.

I welcome other people’s opinions on this as well, however!

One of the more subtle but powerful effects of anal sex in general and the anal only lifestyle is the amplifying effects that it can have on arousal. For someone with an already powerful sex drive, this can be quite the intense increase, while for someone who might struggle with arousal or has a partner with a higher libido than they do, it can be an incredible gamechanger and help.

Anal Can Be Very Exciting

While anal sex is becoming increasingly popular and common, it’s still generally less common than vaginal sex, and so anal play and sex can be quite exciting and that excitement often translates into increased arousal about having and during anal sex.

However, it’s not only limited to those who are just getting started with anal. Anal only couples very frequently report an increase of arousal or desire that continues many years into their anal only relationship, and while it’s quite common for sex to become stagnant and vaginal to become boring, anal is far more likely to remain exciting and arousing for everyone.

Anal Stimulation is Arousing

The anus has a high concentration of nerve endings that make it one of the most sensitive sexual centers in the human body, and the rectum is in close proximity to other pleasure centers in a way that anal penetration easily stimulates, so it’s no surprise that anal stimulation and penetration not only feels really good, it can have an intense effect on arousal as well. Women who engage in anal sex frequently talk about how horny it makes them, and as they gain more experience, especially when shifting away from vaginal sex or clitoral stimulation to focus exclusively on anal, develop an anal arousal they can feel in their ass, and a craving for more anal sex.

The Effects of Anal Orgasms on Arousal

It’s pretty commonly known that vaginal and clitoral orgasms often result in a loss of arousal afterwards, with women losing interest in sex and even feeling bad or regretful or depressed afterwards. This unfortunate effect can result in an overall decrease in libido for some, but generally just puts an end to the fun for a while and makes people not feel very good about themselves. It’s also led to a growing interest in orgasm denial and edging for many women, which can provide pleasure and arousal without the negative side effects.

With anal sex and the anal only lifestyle, however, come the possibility of anal orgasms, which can be intensely pleasurable—often more so than vaginal or clitoral orgasms—but also for most women do not result in a loss of arousal afterwards. Women still feel great, and sexual, and horny, and happy post-orgasm, and can continue for more if they want, or just stay in that happy arousal-filled state of mind, put a plug in, and continue with their day. It’s a great sex-positive way to be, that fills one’s entire life with a state of sexuality and pleasure rather than only some occasional period of time.

So if arousal or loss of arousal post-orgasm has been an issue for you, continue the anal only lifestyle and pursuing pure anal orgasms without clitoral stimulation, and you’ll likely have a much more positive and enjoyable experience!

Monica: I found this site after searching the internet to see if there were other women like me. After reading some of the stories I wanted to tell you mine.

I am a 28 year old woman and I have Vaginismus, a condition which always made vaginal sex incredibly painful for me. My husband and I were high school sweethearts. When we fooled around in high school, any penetration of my vagina was excruciating.

After we married, I could only have sex for a few minutes (on those rare occassions I could) before I had to stop. My husband was always kind and understanding, making due with blowjobs or handjobs. I always felt like a failure. Worse, I felt like less of a woman who was unworthy of this man’s love. Although my husband tried to please me by going down on me, I never even came close to orgasm. We would occassionally watch porn together until I would get so horny I would try, failing more often then succeeding, then give him a blowjob.

One video we watched had a couple having anal sex. I watched with excitement as the woman on the video was penetrated anally and wondered if this could be the solution we so desperately wanted. I told my husband I wanted to try anal sex and he apprehensivly agreed. We knew enough to know it wasn’t going to be like the movie we watched. Suffering with Vaginismus, we always needed a lot of lubricant to accomplish penetration. My husband applied so much lube it was all over the bed. I laid on my back, my legs on my husband’s shoulders. He then placed the head of his penis against my ass. I took a couple of deep breaths and signaled him to continue. As he applied more pressure I felt my ass relax as he began entering me. I’m not going to lie, there was a little pain, but nothing like the pain I experienced during vaginal sex. After several minutes I became aware my husband was no longer sliding into me. I looked at him, afraid he was not enjoying the experience, and told him it was okay to keep going. That’s when he said he was all the way in. Then it happened. The thought that my husband was fully inside me for the first time and I felt almost no pain caused me to experience my first orgasm. As I began to orgasm, my ass began to tighten and loosen around him. I could feel his penis pulse as my husband experienced his own orgasm. As our mutual orgasms began to subside, he began to remove his penis. I told him not to. I actually told him I never wanted him to remove it. My husband, ever the joker, said he thought it might make social events a little awkward. To which we both had to laugh. He leaned over and we began to kiss. Within minutes I could feel his penis begin to harden, still inside me. Then he began slow, gentle thrusts as we gazed into each others faces, eyes locked on each other. I had never felt so loved or connected to this man as I did now. Within minutes we were both experiencing another orgasm. I never felt more like a woman than I did in this moment, fully pleasing my husband, and being fully pleased by him.

For the next couple of months we made up for lost time. We had sex every chance we had. We had sex all over the house. We tried every position we could get our bodies into. The more anal sex we had the better it got.

That was nine years ago. We never attempted vaginal sex again. While so many of the couples we know have stagnant sex lives, we usually have sex five times a week. My husband and I feel incredibly connected. In a way, we credit my Vaginismus for our incredible sex life and incredible marriage.

Although many women with Vaginismus may find anal sex just as painful, I believe there are many who could benefit as I did by having an open mind and trying anal sex.

Thanks for sharing your story. I’m sorry that vaginal sex caused such a struggle in your sex life and your relationship with your husband in the past, but I’m so glad to hear that you were able to discover anal sex and enjoy the anal only lifestyle going forward from there.

Anal can be a gamechanger for many women with vaginismus and similar conditions. While, as you note, sometimes it can affect anal as well, more often than not anal is significantly easier to enjoy than vaginal, as you discovered. I’ve talked with numerous women over the years with similar stories, who had struggled with sex and intimacy due to vaginal discomfort or pain, and who found that going anal only and excluding vaginal penetration entirely provided the pleasure, sexual expression, and intimacy they’d been missing.

While there are absolute benefits to going anal only for almost everyone, it’s very obviously advantageous in circumstances like yours where vaginal sex is actively painful and essentially impossible to do with any sort of enjoyment. Hopefully, with the growing shift towards anal positivity and openness, doctors begin recommending anal as the alternative rather than women continuing to suffer through painful vaginal sex, or undergoing surgery for something unnecessary when anal is a better option anyway.

Anonymous: There is much talk about the anal orgasm being more intense than vaginal for the woman, but what about the guys who are penetrating? Why is the orgasm from anal so much more intense than from vaginal? Is it the forbidden nature of the act? Is it the tightness of the ass vs the vagina? Is it the beauty of the ass and anus vs the vagina? For me it is a combination of all three. I find the vagina bland and boring compared to the ass and frankly I literally empty my balls into the rectum whereas my orgasms from vaginal are ho-hum at best. I would be interested in hearing other peoples views on the matter.

I agree that it is likely a combination of factors. It feels better, it’s more intimate, it’s more attractive and appealing, and it is for many people more exciting. Those things combine together to result in better orgasms for everyone.