Hi all, just wanted to share the story of how I ended up deciding with my partner to only have anal sex, with no plans whatsoever to do vaginal again. (Perhaps for children but it’s possible we will just adopt)

My partner and I have been together for 5 years, and leading up to 2020 anal was more of a possible alternate place for cum at the end of sex, but not really a main event. Over the last year or so, their clit has become extremely sensitive. Annoyingly so , apparently. 

She doesn’t like to masterbate, preferring to save her energy or orgasm for sex, and never have I ever seen her touch her vagina during sex, except to spread her lips. She likes to cum but I don’t think she is a fan of tongue so much and doesn’t like most toys. She does like plugs though, I noticed.

What she really likes, apparently, is feeling me cum inside her. When we did vaginal, she would prefer me to pound her and just wanted me to cum. We could have sex multiple times, she just wanted to feel me explode inside her and tended to prefer quick, hot, and heavy.

This year, when COVID was just becoming national news, we started having more ox what we called ‘straight to anal’ or ‘just butt’ where we wouldn’t have vaginal sex at all. I think it originally started happening more and more because of her period (which isn’t a problem for us really, it’s just cleanup work unless in the shower) and because we both started drinking more as COVID hit and she was getting some peephole irritation that would have her asking to wait on vaginal play and just use her butt or her mouth.

She offered and I requested her butt more and more and by the summer I was clearly hooked on anal. We did it a lot. Sometimes a few days in a row without having vaginal. It occurred to me that I liked the entire experience with her more than vaginal; things were more intimate and careful, the hot and heavy was more engrossing and more passionate, and the cums were mind-blowing. The prospect of doing it more came naturally and I actually had a little conflict with her when I told her about how I was feeling.

Continue reading on the Anal Only Couples blog on Bdsmlr

Are you an anal only couple or individual? Do you live, work, or go to school in an environment that is conducive to talking with other open minded people about sex? Then consider starting a club of anal only women and couples to inform and educate about the anal only lifestyle and which encourages an ever growing number of people to adopt anal only!

While this can sound like an improbable idea at first, it can in fact be very rewarding and effective at encouraging other people to consider the idea and try it for themselves. As many of us know, once you try anal only for a month or two, it’s self evident that it’s a better way of having sex and easy to move past vaginal sex for pure anal going forward.

Be Honest & Open

When you’re talking with groups of friends and others you’re comfortable bringing up sex around, be open about your preference for anal, how great it can be, and how you’ve gone anal only. If others inquire about anal, or say negative things about it, share your positive experiences and how you actually really like it or even prefer it. Many people are afraid to express their love for anal out of a fear of being judged or mocked by friends, but too often groups get stuck in a loop of following the leaders and all expressing the same negative opinions even if they’re secretly curious and want to learn more.

If anyone shows interest in anal or wants to know more about your experiences or how to enjoy anal more, take the opportunity to give them your best advice and ensure they have a good chance at a pleasurable experience so they really enjoy it and want to do more. If others who already enjoy anal open up to you, encourage them to try going anal only for themselves. Recommending a month of anal only as a fun challenge to start with and explore it without a long term initial commitment is a good option for getting people to discover just how wonderful going anal only can be for them. Most people who make it through a month and stay anal only want to keep going.

Build a Support Network

Something that can help you in your own anal only life, as well as help others starting out, is having a local support network of people you’re close with who can be encouraging, informative and supportive of each other during their journey to be anal only. Old habits, emotions, and urges can flare up and tempt people to slip from their anal only routine, and having people they can talk to when that happens helps everyone strengthen their commitment to anal only.

As you help more friends and acquaintances go anal only, you can expand that support network and introduce each other so that everyone can learn and grow from others. Some people may be comfortable playing with each other and being directly sexually involved with each other, while others may just want to talk and share. Both are very valuable.

As people graduate, move out of the area, or otherwise drift apart, it can be a good opportunity to encourage them to start a new club in their new area and spread the anal only lifestyle even further.

Provide Helpful Resources

If you want to grow an anal only club beyond a small circle of friends, especially somewhere like a college campus, but elsewhere as well, a great option is to create an informational resource like a flyer, providing an overview of tips on how to enjoy good anal sex and contact information on how to learn more. It will attract people interested in anal, and a portion will then reach out to you for more information, at which point you can also start to get them interested in going anal only and joining your club.

Let’s all work together this year and beyond to do our best and introduce as many people to the anal only lifestyle and its many pleasures as we can!

Brook: For two years of our relationship he has been vocally anti anal… in the process of moving in together he saw my plugs and has made a passing comment about fucking me while I am wearing one.
How to I encourage this interest and hopefully convince him to eventually fuck my ass?

Ease him into it. He’s already gone from being completely anti-anal to expressing an interest in vaginal sex while you’re wearing a plug, so that’s progress.

Surprise him with one of your plugs in your ass when you have sex, and just leave it in during sex. If he enjoys it, make it a normal thing. When you have sex, put a plug in.

After a while of that becoming normal, try talking to him about it again and see if he’s interested in trying anything else, like fingering your ass or using a dildo in it during sex, and then from there, tell him you really enjoy anal play with him and you’d love him to have anal sex with you and ask if he’s open to the idea now. Don’t make him feel bad or put on the spot, just try to have an open conversation about it and see what his concerns are, tell him it feels really good for you and you love doing it, and try to address any fears he may have about it.

Good luck!

Sex is very confusing, but there’s one thing I’ve always been certain of: for some reason, straight men are obsessed with anal sex.

I can’t speak to why this is the case. Some part of me suspects that many of them might be bi-curious and looking for a toxically heterosexual outlet. This claim has absolutely no substance: it’s just rooted in my own speculation. It’s important to read Queer theory and even more important to critically analyze toxic masculinity, but it’s still pretty fun to tease my straight boyfriend with this notion.

Regardless, straight men definitely go crazy for anal, but for many reasons, women attracted to men don’t always feel the same way for many reasons—the biggest reason being pain.

There are many academic studies on this pain. One from 2011 found that over 40 per cent of heterosexual women (a group which I’m not a part of, but can nonetheless relate to) experienced pain their first time engaging in anal sex. Many stopped immediately, but others endured the pain to please their male partners—which is deeply problematic.

That brings me to the one thing I hope all men reading this take away: never, ever coerce a woman into engaging in any kind of sex. We aren’t yours to convince, and our sexual preferences aren’t up for debate.

Now that that’s out of the way, I can safely tell you lots of women actually enjoy anal, including me. If you really want, you can find a woman willing to do butt stuff—please just wait until the pandemic is over.

Continue reading at The Queen’s University Journal

Contrary to popular belief, and something that is echoed by many of the anal only women out there, the primary benefactors of anal sex and the anal only lifestyle are women.

So many people still insist on the misconception that women don’t enjoy anal and only do it for their male partners, and that men get far more enjoyment from anal penetration than women do.

Now, men certainly enjoy and get a lot of benefit out of anal sex as well, but the point of this article is to explore how vastly superior anal can be for women in comparison to men.

For men, it’s sexier, tighter, has more texture and grip than vaginal, and allows for deeper penetration.

For women, the contrast is more significant:

• The tightness leads to a much more intense feeling of fullness compared to vaginal, which amplifies pleasure in general and makes everything more stimulating as a result.
• The depth allows much much deeper and harder penetration without risking impacting with the cervix, which can be very uncomfortable and painful.
• Anal sex is inherently a form of natural birth control, and it’s very difficult to get accidentally pregnant from anal sex (not impossible, but rare), which allows focusing on sex and pleasure without the fear of risked pregnancy, other forms of birth control failing, or their cost and side effects.
• Less than 1/3 of women are able to orgasm from vaginal penetration alone and rely on clit stimulation in order to orgasm during vaginal. However, studies show that over 80% of women who have anal sex orgasm from it. Because many women experience negative side effects from clit orgasms, including loss of arousal, oversensitivity post-orgasm, and emotional crashes and depression post-orgasm, which generally are not present with anal orgasms, this can make a tremendous difference to long term enjoyment of sex and arousal.

So, if you or someone you know thinks that men get the most benefit from anal sex, it’s always best to try it for yourself and see what you really think. Chances are you’ll be surprised just how much greater anal is than vaginal for women, and the benefit is usually even greater for women than it is for men.

Every person who engages in anal sex fears that they will one day possess a bashed and battered asshole, one that’s not as bright and tight as it used to be. I can admit that I was once a part of that camp, fearing that every time I bottomed, I was causing permanent damage to my precious b-hole. But, as is true with most generalizations, you come to realize it’s (mostly) a bunch of BS.

I became particularly invested in this topic after working with a sexual wellness company that launched a service called Text-a-Sexpert, in which a fellow sex educator and myself would answer people’s personal sex questions via text message. Almost instantly, I was taken aback by the volume of folks who wrote me desperate that their holes were—or would soon become—loose as a result of receptive anal intercourse.

As a radical empath who despises sexual shame in any shape or form, I want to wax poetic on the power and resilience of our buttholes. To assist, I’ve enlisted the expertise of not one, but two LGBTQ butt doctors as well as one experienced anal sex advocate, author, and sex shop owner. So let’s dispel some harmful myths and put those fanny-based fears to rest.

Continue reading on TheBody

Hi all, I’m new to the forum and have recently started plugging regularly. I’m interested in moving toward anal only or also more regularly at least, but my partner loves the ease of vaginal sex, particularly the lack of need for lube/and waiting for prep. Any advice to increase his pleasure with/desire for anal?

Pluggedkitty, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

You’re definitely on the right track with plugging, which will help you relax open more quickly and also help you learn when and why you’re more likely to be clean. Move up in size when you’re ready!
You could also do a little discreet cleaning and lubing before you head for bed. Thanks to the plug this may be easier than you expect.
Let him know you enjoy being touched on the butt, and show him your pleasure when he does ..

FarmerDan, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

I really cannot understand what’s wrong with man who complain about going anal only and still want to fuck vaginas. Maybe they’re normal and not perverted like me but WTF?! It’s my biggest dream to find an AO girlfriend and someone who has it turn her down for the ease of pussy…damn karma…

What can I say…you shouldn’t have to do it with me of course but beside FarmerDan good advices I can say you to be slutty. Turn him on. Show him your plugged ass while you’re around in the house. Show him your gaping hole, tease him being slutty.

Gapeman, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Thanks for the advice!

As a quick update, I told my partner how much I enjoy anal and told him I’m plugging regularly so he can easily take my ass. Unsurprisingly, he loves it and we’re having anal much more frequently. 

And as a bonus, my ass gets extra attention just from the plug. I’m regularly using the snug plug 2 (highly recommend for anyone who wants to have a silicone plug with some weight to increase the full feeling).

Pluggedkitty, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Continue reading on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum

I have enjoyed receiving anal sex. Not regularly, but as something on the menu, yes. My lover of the last 12 months, and this just came up, has told me that he has never had anal sex and never will. Like ever. At all. Given how often I have done this (I’m 29), it’s not that big of a thing, but he has been very clear, and I don’t think “never” means “only a few times a year.” I asked why, and he said “fecal matter.” So, trying to be can-do about this all, I suggested we get a toy he could use on me, and he rejected this too. I offered to make sure there was no fecal matter. He still said no. I think there will be no budge here. I don’t think I like this, but it seems like a stupid thing to end a relationship over. — Name withheld by request

Dear Anal Avenger: Is it? One thing he should get credit for: honesty. He didn’t shilly-shally or equivocate in any way. Consequently, there is no, nor should there be, assumption of any give. Any questions after that might be answered, but that’s a maybe and not a must.

Like Sam-I-Am and his dislike of green eggs and ham, dunning him for an entire lifetime to stick something, anything, in your rear end is an unseemly chore. And, unlike the book, he may still be unlikely to yield in the end. Now, I imagine if your relationship is perfect in every other way, this might seem to be a stupid trade; however, people with relationships that are perfect in every other way rarely write to me.

So while you haven’t asked me a specific question, I will give you a specific answer: A good/great sex life seems to be all about a willingness to engage and embrace your partner in their totality, and this is not that. If you were going to try to cajole him, you might tell him that at least you weren’t suggesting sticking something up his butt, but I don’t even suggest doing this. Instead, I think you do like The Floaters once sang and just “float … float on.” Life’s too short to spend it not getting the sex you want.

Continue reading at OZY

Anonymous: Here’s a question I’d be curious to see answered – What are some fun ways to incorporate anal training into your regular sex routine? I want to find ways to bring in some anal training that feel fun and exciting for my wife (rather than feeling like it’s a chore or getting bored during prolonged foreplay).

We already do some butt play regularly, but we are looking to building up to regular penetrative anal sex. We’re not totally new to anal sex, but it’s been quite a while since we’ve done it. We’re already pretty familiar with fingering, rimming and small plugs.

I’m thinking the best way to go about it is to increase our use of butt plugs and gradually increase the size. Is there a good way to do this without it feeling too clinical? Or maybe a way to make the process feel a bit sexier?

Thank you!

Ps. I really appreciate all the work you put into this blog!

Using butt plugs is a great option, and jeweled plugs can can be beneficial in that they both provide some level of training and have aesthetic appeal as well for many people, making them like a form of sexy jewelry that can be worn before and during other sexual activity.

Incorporating rimming and fingering as a regular part of foreplay even when you aren’t going to have anal sex can also be a great way of normalizing it and making it frequent.

By doing it regularly even when you don’t proceed to anal sex afterwards, it helps with training by keeping it a frequent activity, and makes it so that once you do start anal sex again, she’s already more used to it and partially warmed up from having done anal play regularly at a lower level.

Anonymous: I wrote in the spring about being in quarantine with my boyfriend and roommate and how we had sex before, but in quarantine it was all the time with the three of us, and then we started trying double anal sex together and really enjoyed it.

I wanted to tell you that following your advice, we started doing it more often, and for several weeks we had double anal sex every day. Since the summer we have only had double anal sex because we like it very much, and we read about the idea of ​​double anal only here, and it was a good idea. For five months we have only had double anal sex, at least once a day.

They are not boyfriend and roommate anymore, they are both my boyfriends now, and we all like that we are in a relationship together. Doing it double anal just makes it a special connection for all of us, and we are committed to staying that way now, because it’s so nice, but also represents who we are so good.

But we want to know if this can last, is it safe and okay to do double anal so often and indefinitely? I have not had any problems so far, I feel very healthy and good about it, but I want to be sure.

Thanks for the update! So often people post a very interesting story and never return, so it’s good to hear updates from people about how things are going and progressing.

That sounds wonderful that you’ve not only been able to enjoy double anal together more often but found that it was what you really enjoyed most and decided to make your relationship double anal only going forward. I’ve posted about that subject on occasion and it definitely seems to be slowly growing in popularity with women, some trying it for the short term and others taking their anal only commitment to the next level by going double anal only.

I know and have interacted with a number of women over the years who regularly practice double anal or who are double anal only themselves, and have not heard any complain of negative side effects of going double anal only. As you no doubt have experienced, a frequent practice of double anal sex is going to result in your anus staying more relaxed and loose in the short term, though if you were to stop for whatever reason, it would tighten back up quickly. For double anal only women, staying loose and relaxed is desirable, however, so this is usually a very good side effect.

So long as you listen to your body and recognize any injuries and allow yourself to heal, you’ll be fine and are unlikely to have any negative problems. The fact you’ve been doing this daily for the past 5 months suggests you’re doing just fine and will have no issue.

I wish the three of you the best of luck and hope you are able to enjoy many years of double anal only together!