Are you the man or woman? What was the biggest challenge, and what worked?

Lots of different responses, a couple of which are featured below:

As a woman and maybe a rarity, I had to convince some of my boy and girlfriends to give me the anal attention I wanted. My husband, however, took very little convincing, of course. As to convincing other girls to allow anal play, a little alcohol never hurt as well as open communication and gradually easing into the physical aspect of it. It was introduced to me while a friend was going down on me. I was so into it that when she went lower, I almost didn’t realize she had her tongue in my ass. But again, we had spoken about it before she even tried. Oh, if and when you get into the full act, LUBE LUBE AND MORE LUBE.

I’ve had success in the past with girls who claimed not to want anal by slowly working ass fingering into your routine. Works especially well while eating pussy… start thumbing her asshole gently while going down on her and stop eating pussy if she objects… then do the same next time until she associates the two. Also start rimming her ass… start with kissing her all over (most girls love this) and get closer and closer to her ass then pay it more and more attention.

Several girls I’ve been with who started off not wanting to do anal at all ended up really liking it after doing stuff like this.

Continue reading on /r/analonlylifestyle on Reddit

little backstory: I’m happily married to my husband, who’s way more into anal than I am (unfortunately).

We both sort of fetishized anal since we started dating, and I gave it a few tries back then. I quickly found out that I liked the idea of anal more than anal itself, which was basically : that it hurt a bit, that it was uncomfortable, and that my husband loved it. (I know it might sound messed up to some, but I guess it’s a kink).
But I really enjoyed it back then, in those terms, and was able to orgasm sometimes (through clitoral stimulation only tho)

We slowly started opening up about our fantasies, then we got married and really started acting on them.
One of mine envolved fisting, I was really curious but my husband was afraid I’d get too loose (not that he refused to do it, we just share everything that’s on our minds basically) he also knew I didn’t quite enjoy anal but I’d do it anyway, because he loved it (and the idea of it turned me on, I guess).

I might’ve gone a “little” overboard with the fisting thing, because he eventually started to notice (and me too tbh) I was a bit (quite) loose after a year or so. But I didn’t want to give up on it, so we both agreed on doing more anal to compensate for the lack of tightness he complained about . Then it became doing anal almost everytime we had sex, or a fisting session.

^This really started to aggravate me. We had sex very often back then and I wasn’t able to keep up with all the times I had to do some preparation beforehand. This led to some accidents that embarrassed the shit out of me (LOL). It got to a point that I gave up on fisting and sex in general just so we wouldn’t do anal anymore. But I noticed my husband really missed it, so I ended up trying again. Anyway it took a toll on our sex lives.

Then, (5 years ago) I had a child (long story, surrogacy), and I don’t know if the fisting or the delivery but my vagina never really snapped back to normal. It got to a point that he claimed he had almost no feeling, basically he was doing PIV just to please me. We talked it out cause I didn’t want to seem selfish (I already was my sister’s surrogate against his will, I convinced him into trying fisting, I had that “abstinence” moment, I mean…) And that’s when he suggested we’d go AO.

Continue reading on /r/analonlylifestyle on Reddit

Anonymous: My bf got me into anal only last year and I like it but struggle with some things. It’s still harder for me to get to orgasm from anal but he doesn’t want me to keep using my clit anymore. I haven’t used it so far this year, because he wanted me to try 2020 without my pussy at all, but it’s hard to not cum every time. Do you have any advice? Is there anything I can do to cum from anal more often?

Congratulations on being anal only and starting out the year with a new challenge to commit even more fully to the anal only lifestyle!

It’s a good sign that you’re able to orgasm from anal at least some of the time! That suggests that by focusing purely on anal pleasure and excluding clitoral stimulation from your routine, you’ll start orgasming more easily from anal in time. Pay attention to what sort of positions and speeds you’re in when you orgasm more frequently and try to replicate that towards the end of an anal session in order to make it more likely that you will orgasm regularly from anal.

In the long term, moving past clitoral stimulation to pure anal will pay off immensely and there are many benefits to doing so, which you can read about in our Guide to Clitoral Denial. I wish you the best of luck!

It’s been two months since I haven’t used my dildo in my pussy. It’s now exclusively for anal play, and it’s been great. However, I haven’t had an orgasm just using it alone — I always have my nipple clamps on (an absolute must since I love the pain) and a vibrator on my clit, sometimes rubbing it with just my finger.

Do you have any tips to achieve orgasm with just solo anal play? I’m gonna try doing it tonight — firstly putting my nipple clamps on and then starting slowly with anal beads. After that I’ll go in with my dildo and try my best not to touch my clit. I can’t wait!

Continue reading on /r/analonlylifestyle on Reddit

If you’ve followed us for a while, you’re probably familiar with our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle, which has been a part of this website for the past year since moving off Tumblr.

It’s always going to be a freely available resource as part of this blog for those who want to learn more about anal sex and the anal only lifestyle, but I’m happy to announce that you can also purchase it in an ebook format through Amazon as well, if that’s how you prefer to do your reading!

It can be a good resource if you’re just getting started, and it can make a good gift for friends who might be interested in anal or going anal only. Either way, it helps support this blog and the greater anal only community.

And, if you’re looking for another way to support the anal only community, consider becoming a Patron!

Beth: I’ve been married for a few months and my husband so badly wants to fuck my ass. He has fingered my ass during sex a few times and even rimmed me on our wedding night. He knows I’m open to it but he doesn’t quite know just how much it turns me on. He’s tried to rim my ass and press his cock into me but I’m much too tight and he’s much too endowed. I know there will have to be a little training before but I don’t really know how to start & I think he’s a little impatient. I purchased a butt plug and I wear it at least once a week when he isn’t home but I know it isn’t enough.

Do I just wear it and surprise him with it? Do I ask him to plug me next time things get heated? I just don’t know the best way to bridge the gap!

It sounds like your primary concern is not being ready enough, because it seems that you do want it as much or more than him, you just want to make sure that his impatience or him being overeager doesn’t hurt you and it’s an enjoyable experience for the both of you. Is that a fair assessment?

I’d suggest making the butt plug wear a much more frequent thing for you, and to start masturbating regularly while wearing the plug, as well as fingering your ass during masturbation. Our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle has a section on Anal Training that provides more information that process. Once you’re comfortable doing it more regularly, I would also read the Guide to Having Anal Sex for the First Time and then decide if you want your husband to help train you the rest of the way before having sex or dive right into trying it with him.

Once you do want to admit your enthusiasm about trying it, I would just be open about it and tell him. He’ll love to hear that you want to do anal too, if he’s as excited as it seems about trying it with you. Communication is best for everyone. But you can also be wearing a plug when you tell him that, and show him, and he’ll love seeing that too!

Good luck, and I hope you have a wonderful time exploring anal together!

That’s the question a Quora user asks, receiving the following replies:

Me I have regular guys that screw me every week so I know the day and time so I have a chance to prepare and I do a wash it’s not a complete enema I only wash the part I will be using,but more importantly is I stretch my anus twice a day with a graduating size glass plug that opens my anus up to 5 inches wide,this helps a lot when I do a DP and that I do 2times a week.

This is not a practice that should be rushed into if not had experience of it, if I know if I am partaking in in an event with the possibility of anal I want it to be painless and enjoyable, to achieve this I normally wear one of my butt plugs for the majority y the day and lub myself up before hand

Both responses get to the essential point: warm up gradually and stretch your anal muscles with plugs and other toys before having sex, keeping them relaxed and ready, and you’ll be prepared for frequent anal at any time. Additionally, the more frequently you have anal sex, the easier it gets to do regularly.

Continue reading on Quora

I have a disease that makes it painful to have vaginal penetration and so I haven’t had sexual intercourse or an orgasm. To be honest I don’t really have that much of a sex drive at all. But I’ve heard that you actually can have an orgasm from anal sex and so I got curious. I’ve tried it on myself and my sex drive has gone up somewhat (now I actually fantasize about sex) but I can’t seem to get an orgasm or really get horny by it.

How long does it usually take before you can have an orgasm or enjoy it. How does guys usually respond to girls that only have anal sex, it seems quite taboo.

Continue reading on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Anonymous: I’m a young guy who’s always been exclusively into anal sex: I discovered sex through porn, and vaginal and clitoral action became major turn-offs very quickly for me. I never did vaginal nor touched a clit, and I want it to stay that way.

So far, I met all my partners through online dating sites, making extremely clear I’m into strict anal only (I can’t even stand it if a woman touches her clit during sex). I’m athletic, good looking and well endowed, and I’m open to different types of women provided they’re anal only, so I never had trouble getting laid so far.

At college, there’s this younger girl who’s very much into me, and who made very clear she’d like me to take her virginity and “teach her” how to fuck. She’s smart, funny, very hot, but she doesn’t know I’m anal only. We sort of kissed and messed around (no sex), and she seems to be quite submissive when hot.

On one hand, I really want to fuck her and “train” her, educate her into strict anal sex, and date her in the long term. I’m pretty sure she won’t freak out when I tell her I’m anal only (I touched her there through her clothes while she fondled my cock through my jeans, and she seemed to like it, she didn’t mind her crotch being left untouched). Her being a complete virgin makes me REALLY hot.

On the other hand, I never introduced a girl to anal sex, I always dated experienced women who knew what they wanted, so I’m uncertain what to do (I’m thinking about foreplay and licking and fingering her asshole gently for a start). And I sort of feel responsible for her, so even though the idea to get her into strict anal sex is incredibly hot to me, I’m wondering if her first sexual experience shouldn’t be more “standard”.

Thank you for your blog, which I knew from tumblr, and thanks in advance for your reply.

I encourage introducing her to it, provided she’s into the idea and willing to try. Talk with her about it, and be open about your needs and desires, so she knows up front what you expect from a partner and is fully informed going into it.

If she is willing, be sure to take it slow with her and really ease her into it while making sure to focus on her enjoyment and pleasure. Get her to love and crave it, and your pleasure will join hers soon enough.

As for a concern about her being introduced to anal first vs. vaginal, there are plenty of women who start with anal and stick with it for a long time before even trying vaginal, and there’s been a growing trend among younger women to go straight to anal only for a variety of reasons, which I encourage and think is a good thing, so I see no issue with starting her right out with anal only if she’s interested in trying it.

But, communicate and make it something that you explore together as partners, if you do go down that route. Good luck!

Max & Nata: So, my wife and I are both 32, we’ve been married for 4 years, and about a year ago we have arrived to an unspoken arrangement that I only fist her pussy and I only fuck her ass (don’t know if this counts as anal only lol, but we’re both happy with that). She loves being fisted and says it’s the best thing ever – she also loves anal, and we do about 50/50 between these two (we also do oral, spanking etc., but we almost always finish with either anal or fisting, or both).

I’ve lately been trying to talk to her about anal fisting, as it’s something that is interesting to try – but she only said “maybe later” and was pretty elusive about it in general. I think it’s obvious that she’s a bit scared. She also says she doesn’t love fingers up her ass as much as she loves my dick and toys in there, because fingers don’t go as deep as she wants. She has some toys to use up her ass, and she uses buttplugs when I fist her — we recently bought another one that’s bigger than my penis in width.

The question is – should I be persistent with trying anal fisting, or maybe leave it as it is? Obviously I don’t want to do anything that she doesn’t want, but maybe there are some arguments I’m missing that can help convince her to try? Or maybe it’s I who’s missing something and should be happy with what I have?

Also, other thing with that is that she’s worried about is that if we do a lot of anal fisting, her ass can become stretched out and not as tight as it is now (her pussy being loose was one of the reasons we switched to anal only). To be completely honest, this concerns me a bit as well.

So, if you have any tips or comments, or experience to share about anal fisting, we’d be happy and grateful to hear it (she knows about this post and she will read the answer too). Maybe there’s a way we can work towards it without using fingers too much?

Thanks a lot for your blog and for the answer. Sorry if my English is a bit weird, not my primary language.

First of all, “anal only” means a variety of different things for a lot of different people, but the fundamental element is that you don’t have vaginal intercourse and have fully replaced it with anal. There are those who still use toys or other forms of vaginal penetration but who identify as anal only, so I think if being anal only is something that appeals to you, you can consider your arrangement to fit within that definition. I think there can be some additional benefits to going fully anal only for some people, and generally encourage at least trying that too, but everyone is different and different things work for different people.

As for wanting to try anal fisting, it sounds like she’s expressed some of her concerns already. Are those her only hesitations, or does she have others as well?

Not liking fingering as much as sex is not uncommon, but fisting is different from fingering and provides much more of a stretch and can go deeper as well, so I would encourage her to think of them as different things and not to write off anal fisting just because she doesn’t like fingers on their own as much. It’s an entirely different experience.

Fear of stretching and becoming loose is a common concern that isn’t that rooted in reality. Injury can cause muscles to become weaker, but “stretching” anal muscles is actually exercising them and frequent use can help them become stronger. What people equate with being loose is actually an increased elasticity that allows them to expand larger, but they still stay tight and closed when not in use. There may be short term looseness after for a few hours, but things tend to return to normal quickly. And even the increased elasticity is not something that happens overnight, so it’s something that you can start to explore and see how it progresses for the both of you. Chances are you’ll both find that it does not negatively affect your enjoyment of sex at all. Exercises like kegels can also help to further strengthen and “tighten” anal muscles.

But if she’s also just afraid of trying it, why not sit down and talk about it together and discuss her fears and concerns and whether she’s interested despite being afraid and what you can do to help relieve some of those fears. Remind her of how rewarding vaginal fisting ended up being for her and with the pleasure and intensity of anal how great it could end up being as well.

Good luck to the both of you!