Message: Regret Ever Losing My Vaginal Virginity

WishIWasStillVV: My biggest sexual regret in my life is losing my vaginal virginity. I was like some of the girls in your blog who started having anal sex only. I did not want to get pregnant and it was an easy way to avoid that when I started. I loved it and my boyfriend loved it, so there was no reason to do anything else.

Over time, I became very attached to anal sex and to the fact that I was only anal, and I decided not to have vaginal sex unless I decided to have a child someday . In fact, I did it for 9 years, until I was 25 years old. But then, after being single for a while, I met a new boyfriend who agreed with the anal but wanted over time to take my virginity and continued to put pressure on me. I did not want to do it, but I finally gave in and gave up.

Unfortunately, it was very uncomfortable and unpleasant for me. I did not like it at all and the fact that I was pushed to do it probably did not help to make things pleasant. But I thought that was what I had to do to be normal, so I did it and continued for a while, until we broke up.

Since then, I have become anal only again and I never want to use my vagina again, but I am so angry and sad to think that I have lost something precious and that I am not pure anal only like I wanted to be .

I am really sorry that you were pressured into doing something you didn’t want to do, that’s not okay regardless of what type of sex act is involved. Someone who doesn’t want to do vaginal pressured into doing vaginal is bad, and someone who doesn’t want to do anal being pressured into doing anal is bad.

I’ve heard similar things from a lot of women who started out anal only for an extended period of time before losing their vaginal virginity, many express some level of regret or at least a wish that they’d realized sooner that they’d want to end up committing to anal only long-term. In your case, however, it sounds like you already knew that for yourself, and the decision to do vaginal all came from external influence instead.

And at the same time, for those who have chosen to lose their vaginal virginity, or who want to try both to see for themselves what they prefer, you shouldn’t feel bad either. It’s your body, and your choice, and that is what matters. If someone is making you uncomfortable by pushing you to do things you don’t want to do, then that’s where there’s a problem.

Thank you for sharing, and I’m glad you were able to end up back in the anal only lifestyle after. I know preserving one’s vaginal virginity as part of being anal only can be appealing and something special to some people—myself included—and it can feel like a loss, especially when you were pressured to lose it despite not wanting to, but it doesn’t make you any less. Always remember that.

Forum: Introducing Anal After 13 Years of Marriage

From our companion Anal Only Lifestyle forum, user aredeejay3001 shares:

My wife and I are in our 40s, married for 13 years now with three little kids (ages 10, 7, 5). Our times for uninterrupted intimacy are limited to say the least.

I first got into anal in my 20s with girlfriends at the time. One girlfriend I lived with seemed to enjoy anal sex more than anything else. She probably would have embraced this AO concept! Another girlfriend introduced me to receiving anal pleasure by fingering me.

That was all over 20 years ago. My wife has never seemed interested in exploring this and I didn’t push it as I was very content with our sex life and we were both very busy with kiddos, jobs, etc. But it was still something that I was interested in, still something I would fantasize about.

But in the last year, everything has changed! And suddenly, anal play is now a regular part of what we do.

Continue reading at the Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Message: Giving Up Clit Stimulation In 2019

Anonymous: My anal only new year’s resolution for 2019 is to give up clit stimulation. I’m already anal only. I have been for years. But I really rely on my clit a lot and I think it is holding me back. So this year I want to quit. I’m not going to try to do it all at once immediately, because I tried that before and it never worked for me for more than a few weeks. I’m going to take the whole year to try using it less and hopefully by the end of the year I’ll be clit-free! Wish me luck, everybody!

Thank you for sharing your goal for 2019, and good luck! While clit denial may not always be for everyone, if you’re interested in exploring it or have frustrations with clit stimulation, I highly recommend doing what you’re doing and seeing how it works for you to work on excluding it going forward.

Gradually reducing clit stimulation during anal like you’ve mentioned is a great way to do it. And, while you didn’t say what you do currently, I’d highly suggest not masturbating with your clit at all unless you are also masturbating anally at the same time or having anal sex at the same time. This helps shift that focus over to anal as the primary act and clit stimulation as only a secondary, supplemental act which you can reduce and eliminate over time.

For more information about clit denial, its benefits, and ways to help with the process of excluding clit stimulation, see our Benefits of Avoiding Clitoral Stimulation During Anal Sex guide.

Discussion: She Only Prefers Anal Sex

Met someone on POF who`s company i adore.
We`ve been out a few times. She spent the weekend at my home. We really get along, and our time we spend together is really amazing!We babrely left my apartment.

Each time we engaged in sex, she would only allow me to enter her anally.I was taken aback by her request.She seemed to like oral sex performed on her as well as my hands caressing her.Yet, each time i attempted to penetrate her vagina she refused.

She explained to me, its nothing personal, but, until she becomes comfortable with me, she doesn`t allow anyone to enter her.
Don`t get me wrong, i`m not complaining,but i do find this preference rather odd.
Has anyone else experienced this before?

His reaction to a woman who only wants anal sex is unfortunate, acting like it’s somehow unusual or strange for a woman to prefer anal sex or only want anal and not want him to penetrate her vaginally. The responses he receives are similarly disappointing, ranging from insulting her…

“Odd” isn’t the word for it. I’m thinking more along the lines of “nutjob.”

…to accusing him of making up a fantasy story…

haha, sounds like you have quite the active and elaborate fantasy life. anyway….

Has anyone else experienced this before?

strangely, i find the question itself to be of greater interest than your absurd story. do you hope the answer is “yes”, do you wonder if it is “no”; are you merely taking a poll (against forum rules) or are you asking for advice but haven’t quite figured out a way to frame your anally fixated question; and… either way, what will you do with the information once you get it? also, have you written your daily posting to ass.fetish.blogspot.com yet or did they delete your account for violating TOS and is that why you came here?

…to the classic accusation that she is actually a man in disguise…

are you CERTAIN she’s a SHE???

a real SHE???

Honestly, it’s an incredibly frustrating look at the ignorance towards anal sex that still remains in the world and which can make it a challenge for anal only people to meet partners and communicate their desires without judgement. Most everyone is making hostile and crude jokes or being downright insulting towards the idea of preferring anal sex, or the concept of anal in general. However over the course of the 16 pages that this crazy thread goes on for, a few more reasonable people do turn up, fortunately, but… wow.

Continue Reading on Plentyoffish

Message: Can a Woman Get to Where She Doesn’t Need Foreplay Before Anal?

Anonymous: Hi! I was thinking to myself: can I girl evolve her anal sex sex skills to the point of no longer needing any kind of foreplay? Can a woman become a anal sex machine? Perhaps it’s a stupid question, but I’m curious.

Thank you for reading. Love your blog.

Everyone is different and may have different needs, and conditions can change even day-to-day sometimes, but in general it’s certainly possible for people to get to the point where they need little to no warmup before having anal sex. There are those who just need a dab of lube and they’re good to go.

This is most commonly achieved by maintaining a regular schedule of frequent anal sex, masturbating with a dildo on days you aren’t able to have anal sex, and wearing a butt plug in between. The frequent use keeps your anal muscles in a warmed up state and more or less eliminates the need to warm up in advance of having sex. The regular practice also helps you develop more conscious anal muscle control and learn how to relax them more easily without needing to warm up beforehand. Doing anal exercises (like kegels but with your ass) can help with this, as well as practicing pushing out during anal penetration, which helps relax and open up your ass to the penetrating object.

However, even to an “anal sex machine”, to use your phrase, if they go a while without any anal penetration, they’ll need to work through a warmup period again to get back into things. It takes less time, though, after you’re already experienced, and is a bit like riding a bicycle.

Anal Only New Year 2019

This New Year, Make an Anal Only Resolution. Give up pussy, go anal only, January 1.

The time of new year’s resolutions is upon us, and if you aren’t currently enjoying an anal only lifestyle, consider this your prompt to move on from vaginal sex and go anal only yourself. Starting January 1, 2019, replace all vaginal sex and masturbation with anal instead. Anal is the way of the future, while vaginal is rapidly becoming a thing of the past for many people. Don’t you think it’s time you found out what the anal only lifestyle is all about for yourself?

And if you’re already anal only, this can be a good time to review your current implementation of the anal only lifestyle and see if there’s anything new that you would like to add into the mix, whether it be experimenting with clitoral denial and trying to focus on anal only orgasms, incorporating ass to mouth into your routine, starting to wear a butt plug more regularly for a constant reminder of anal pleasure or just as a practical tool to make frequent anal sex easier, experimenting with chastity devices or piercings, or anything else that appeals to you!

Be sure to check out our brand new Anal Sex Advice & Guide to the Anal Only Lifestyle page for information on introducing anal play and sex into your life, going anal only, and far more! And if you decide to make anal only your new year’s resolution, be sure to leave a comment or send us a message.

2018 Anal Only Lifestyle Roundup

Read our previous roundup for 2017 here.

2018 was a big year for the Anal Only Lifestyle community, with some major changes—some positive, some negative, but all helping it evolve and move further into the future.

Our Tumblr blogs nearly reached 150,000 followers for the most active blog, and collectively had well over 200,000 followers. The number of other anal only blogs continued to grow this year as well, and discussion of and interest in anal only remained quite active.

However, just this past month Tumblr announced it was banning all adult content as of December 17, 2018, and that was the end of that. A platform perfectly suited to growing interest in the anal only lifestyle was suddenly gone. Fortunately, our community was designed from the start with the possibility of this happening, and we were already spread across multiple platforms with our Forum and Discord server, as well as this blog being set up on its own domain despite still pointing to Tumblr. We quickly archived all our blog content and set out to migrate this blog off Tumblr, manually moving over 1,800 posts from this and its counterpart blogs into a new self-hosted format that gives us far more control and independence from future platform censorship.

Our forum had slow growth and little activity for much of the year, suffering from changes to Google ranking that kept it largely hidden from relevant search queries. Tumblr’s changes last year to the public visibility and search engine indexing of adult oriented blogs made quite an impact as well, causing many of the internet’s links to the forum to disappear from Google’s view. Now, at the end of the year, however, it appears this is finally changing thanks to the new blog and its wealth of high quality links to the forum reappearing to search engines. Both the blog and forum now appear on the front page of many queries, and visitation and membership have grown significantly.

Also helping membership on the forum and Discord server is the Tumblr shutdown, which has sent readership to countless blogs scattering across multiple platforms, and it’s no different for us. After posting about the imminent demise of Tumblr, the forum grew by over 800 members and passed 2,000 members last week, while the Discord server has nearly 2,000 new members.

In other news, we had two successful anal only challenge months this year, debuting Anal Only April for the first time—which was quite the success!—and celebrating the sixth annual No Pussy November. You can read about both in our archive (another new addition!) and perhaps get inspired to participate yourself this next year if you didn’t previously.

We just launched a new section of this blog, the Anal Sex Advice & Guide to the Anal Only Lifestyle page, which strives to answer many of the common questions people have about anal sex and going anal only. The process of migrating posts from the old blog to this one made it obvious just how many times some of the same questions were asked and answered over the years, and consolidating that information into a single resource that can be edited, updated, and expanded over time for all to see and benefit from seemed like an obvious step forward. Feel free to suggest any topics you’d like to see added, and keep checking back for updates to this section.

Some will no doubt be wondering what’s next for the companion porn blogs that accompanied this blog on Tumblr. At this time, there are no particular plans as there simply aren’t any suitable platforms to move forward with in the same way as on Tumblr, but we’re watching the various options out there and experimenting with them as they become available and continue to improve. When and if a decision is made to resume posting in that format, an announcement will be made on this blog, and you can also check in on our Anal Only Porn Blogs page where the various popular Tumblr blogs are tracked to see where they migrate to.

Now, it’s your turn. How was your year, both in a general sense, and as it relates to the anal only lifestyle? What’s next for you, and what do you hope to achieve? And, what would you like to see next with the Anal Only Lifestyle blog and greater community? Share all your ideas and suggestions, and we’ll work towards achieving them.

Stay anal only, and stay tuned. We’ve got a lot of exciting new things planned for 2019.

Message: My Spastic Butthole

Ok. This is the second message I send to the blog and I hope you answer it too.
I’m the brazilian girl who had a broken pussy and a anal addicted boyfriend (nowadays my husband), but wanted to try v****** “sex”. It’s improbable that you remember, but ok. Here I go.

I have a soft brain palsy what made almost every muscle of mine more rigid than normal, including my butthole. It sucks.

At this point, I suppose that you already can guess what my problem is. Yeah, I discovered that’s the reason why I can’t be penetrated in my wronghole. But it also disturbs my pleasure while doing anal.

I don’t want to fuck using a anesthetic lube or this kind of shit, but I cannot train my butthole’s endurance because I have no control over it. Sometimes I watch those porn girls doing huge insertions, fisting and hatefuck and I feel like crying, full of envy. I feel myself impotent, like I’m not enough, like I’ll never become a more-than-good buttslut to my husband. My ass does not even loose up if I’m not rubbing my clit, and I cannot masturbate my asshole at the same time because I have only one functional hand.

I couldn’t give my man a nice Christmas assfucking due this problem. I’m about to freak out! Please, help me! My case is too specific for Google.

I suspect I would remember your earlier message, but I’m not sure offhand from just what you’ve said here. If you find your previous message in our archives, feel free to send a link to me and I can cross-link or tag them so that readers can easily follow the full conversation across posts.

Definitely don’t use an anesthetic lube, as that will only mask any pain, not prevent the root issue of muscle tightness/cramping. And where there’s pain, there’s risk of injury as a result of those tight muscles. What you need is a way to relax and warm up your muscles instead.

While it sounds like you’re experienced with anal sex at this point, you might want to go back to the early stages of anal training for solo play on your own and as warmup before sex. Lie on your side and rub your clit or use a vibrator on it while rubbing across and around your anus with a finger from your other hand and try to relax your anal muscles as you do so, then slip your finger inside as you feel ready to do so, and keep gradually going up in size from there. If smaller sizes cause you no trouble, try working around the edge of where larger sizes cause difficulty and discomfort. Even without such a medical condition, everyone has some anal muscles they can learn to consciously control and others that are involuntary, so while it may be more difficult for you, there may still be some benefits to working on this more often. Read our new anal training guide for more details on this topic if needed.

Depending on how much warmup you do before sex, you may need to do the above before you start a session, as well as rubbing your clit while your husband performs oral sex on your ass to further help it relax.

For clitoral stimulation during anal masturbation, you might look for a clitoral vibrator that attaches and stays in places so you don’t need to hold it. Venus butterfly vibrators and others similar to this sit in place over your pussy with bands that go around your legs to hold it there so it can keep vibrating against your clit hands-free.

Similarly, a dildo with a suction cup can help you to masturbate hands-free while you have one hand on your clit and ride up and down on a dildo without needing to hold it.

Finally, a doctor may be able to suggest exercises to help with pelvic floor muscle tightness or spasms, and may be able to prescribe muscle relaxers as well. I am not a doctor, a while I can offer suggestions on adapting certain techniques to help with people who have difficulty with tightness, discomfort or pain, I’m far from an expert on specific conditions.

I hope this is at least somewhat helpful, however, and I absolutely wish you the best in figuring out a way to effectively and consistently enjoy anal sex to the full extent of what you want. Do please feel free to follow up if you have more questions or updates.

I’ve also sent this post to someone from the Anal Only Lifestyle Discord server who can provide more perspective and a more detailed answer regarding your condition, and they will be responding in the comments of this post, so be sure to check back there as well.

Article: Why Trying Anal Sex Should Be Your New Year’s Resolution

As 2018 winds down and we settle into the swing of the holiday season, it’s time to start thinking about the New Year’s resolutions we want to set for the year ahead. Although practical things like saving money, landing a new job, or forming healthy habits are totally worthwhile goals to set, the truth is that your New Year’s resolutions don’t have to be all work and no play – and if you’ve been curious about anal play, the start of the new year is the perfect time to experiment.

“Patience, communication, slowing down – all of these are pillars in a pleasurable anal experience,” says Alicia Sinclair, sex educator and CEO of b-Vibe, a company that makes body-safe anal play products. “These are great traits to apply to your sex life in 2019, and anal play is the perfect way to explore them.”

And if you already practice anal sex, 2019 can be your opportunity to try going anal only as your new year’s resolution instead.

Continue reading at Refinery29

Discussion: Prefer Anal Over Vaginal Sex

That’s the topic of a thread over on WeddingBee, where a user asks:

I am just curious if others prefer anal over vaginal sex..I was diagnosed with having uterine fibroids which cause me to have bad cramps and pain everyday plus I am going through menopause so I have vaginal dryness..When we start foreplay I am fine but not long after I dry up so I much prefer anal cause it seems to feel better plus I can orgasm…I thought about using creams for the dryness but kinds concerned of the affects from the creams…Anyone else experience the same problem and prefer anal?

I’ve heard similar stories many times, where with age, pregnancy, or as the result of various medical conditions, women find vaginal sex becomes very uncomfortable, unpleasant, or even painful, and turn to anal for continued intimacy, pleasure and sexual expression, finding it far more enjoyable and quickly coming to prefer it.

Of course, anal already has a lot going for it even without an inability to enjoy painless vaginal sex, but for those unable to have vaginal, anal provides a welcome alternative.

While some of the responses are positive and supportive, or even curious, others are very opposed to the idea and spread false myths:

The back door is an exit only. It is not meant for that kind of… attention. So take special care. A surprising number of people end up in the ER due to anal sex mishaps. I don’t see why you wouldn’t just use lube. It’s not as if your anus is self-lubricating, so I assume you are already using lube. Anyways, if you like it, that’s fine but vaginal lubes are perfectly safe.

It’s time for this myth to die. Anal sex will not cause you to end up in the ER. And she’s not using lube for vaginal because she, in her own words, says that she prefers anal. Good grief.

Some others do share a similar preference, however.

Yep! It is actually what I started with.. and did for years, so I came to prefer it. It hurts doing it the “regular way” -_- Of course, it can hurt also if you don’t take certain obvious precautions lol..

I love it, probably more than vaginal sex!! My fiancé isn’t as keen but he complies 😉 I’m a bit weird, I love the feeling afterwards, I like the pain, like he’s left his mark hahaha! I’m sick I know

And others comment on the judgmental attitudes expressed by some:

Wow, there’s a lot of judgy folks on here! Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s inherently “gross” or wrong. There’s lots of sexual activities that I’d admit don’t interest me, but have large followings for other people who DO enjoy them.

I really like anal, and we do it pretty often, but not all the time. I have to be in the right mood for the intense pleasure it offers. It’s certainly not “only an exit” (as evidenced by all the people who LIKE it an an entrance!) nor does it guarantee a mess all over your partner (has never happened to me in 6 years of anal). I don’t do any special preparation other than usually only doing it if I’ve already “emptied” earlier that day 😉

It’s all about what makes you and your partner feel good! If all parties consent that’s all that matters.

All told, however, it shows the persistent and pervasive myths and negative attitudes towards anal that many people hold, and which need to continue to be countered by positive accounts and honesty about what it’s really like when done properly from those who enjoy it.

Continue Reading at WeddingBee