The Amplification of Arousal With Anal

One of the more subtle but powerful effects of anal sex in general and the anal only lifestyle is the amplifying effects that it can have on arousal. For someone with an already powerful sex drive, this can be quite the intense increase, while for someone who might struggle with arousal or has a partner with a higher libido than they do, it can be an incredible gamechanger and help.

Anal Can Be Very Exciting

While anal sex is becoming increasingly popular and common, it’s still generally less common than vaginal sex, and so anal play and sex can be quite exciting and that excitement often translates into increased arousal about having and during anal sex.

However, it’s not only limited to those who are just getting started with anal. Anal only couples very frequently report an increase of arousal or desire that continues many years into their anal only relationship, and while it’s quite common for sex to become stagnant and vaginal to become boring, anal is far more likely to remain exciting and arousing for everyone.

Anal Stimulation is Arousing

The anus has a high concentration of nerve endings that make it one of the most sensitive sexual centers in the human body, and the rectum is in close proximity to other pleasure centers in a way that anal penetration easily stimulates, so it’s no surprise that anal stimulation and penetration not only feels really good, it can have an intense effect on arousal as well. Women who engage in anal sex frequently talk about how horny it makes them, and as they gain more experience, especially when shifting away from vaginal sex or clitoral stimulation to focus exclusively on anal, develop an anal arousal they can feel in their ass, and a craving for more anal sex.

The Effects of Anal Orgasms on Arousal

It’s pretty commonly known that vaginal and clitoral orgasms often result in a loss of arousal afterwards, with women losing interest in sex and even feeling bad or regretful or depressed afterwards. This unfortunate effect can result in an overall decrease in libido for some, but generally just puts an end to the fun for a while and makes people not feel very good about themselves. It’s also led to a growing interest in orgasm denial and edging for many women, which can provide pleasure and arousal without the negative side effects.

With anal sex and the anal only lifestyle, however, come the possibility of anal orgasms, which can be intensely pleasurable—often more so than vaginal or clitoral orgasms—but also for most women do not result in a loss of arousal afterwards. Women still feel great, and sexual, and horny, and happy post-orgasm, and can continue for more if they want, or just stay in that happy arousal-filled state of mind, put a plug in, and continue with their day. It’s a great sex-positive way to be, that fills one’s entire life with a state of sexuality and pleasure rather than only some occasional period of time.

So if arousal or loss of arousal post-orgasm has been an issue for you, continue the anal only lifestyle and pursuing pure anal orgasms without clitoral stimulation, and you’ll likely have a much more positive and enjoyable experience!

Message: Anal Sex Made Me Feel More Like a Woman

Monica: I found this site after searching the internet to see if there were other women like me. After reading some of the stories I wanted to tell you mine.

I am a 28 year old woman and I have Vaginismus, a condition which always made vaginal sex incredibly painful for me. My husband and I were high school sweethearts. When we fooled around in high school, any penetration of my vagina was excruciating.

After we married, I could only have sex for a few minutes (on those rare occassions I could) before I had to stop. My husband was always kind and understanding, making due with blowjobs or handjobs. I always felt like a failure. Worse, I felt like less of a woman who was unworthy of this man’s love. Although my husband tried to please me by going down on me, I never even came close to orgasm. We would occassionally watch porn together until I would get so horny I would try, failing more often then succeeding, then give him a blowjob.

One video we watched had a couple having anal sex. I watched with excitement as the woman on the video was penetrated anally and wondered if this could be the solution we so desperately wanted. I told my husband I wanted to try anal sex and he apprehensivly agreed. We knew enough to know it wasn’t going to be like the movie we watched. Suffering with Vaginismus, we always needed a lot of lubricant to accomplish penetration. My husband applied so much lube it was all over the bed. I laid on my back, my legs on my husband’s shoulders. He then placed the head of his penis against my ass. I took a couple of deep breaths and signaled him to continue. As he applied more pressure I felt my ass relax as he began entering me. I’m not going to lie, there was a little pain, but nothing like the pain I experienced during vaginal sex. After several minutes I became aware my husband was no longer sliding into me. I looked at him, afraid he was not enjoying the experience, and told him it was okay to keep going. That’s when he said he was all the way in. Then it happened. The thought that my husband was fully inside me for the first time and I felt almost no pain caused me to experience my first orgasm. As I began to orgasm, my ass began to tighten and loosen around him. I could feel his penis pulse as my husband experienced his own orgasm. As our mutual orgasms began to subside, he began to remove his penis. I told him not to. I actually told him I never wanted him to remove it. My husband, ever the joker, said he thought it might make social events a little awkward. To which we both had to laugh. He leaned over and we began to kiss. Within minutes I could feel his penis begin to harden, still inside me. Then he began slow, gentle thrusts as we gazed into each others faces, eyes locked on each other. I had never felt so loved or connected to this man as I did now. Within minutes we were both experiencing another orgasm. I never felt more like a woman than I did in this moment, fully pleasing my husband, and being fully pleased by him.

For the next couple of months we made up for lost time. We had sex every chance we had. We had sex all over the house. We tried every position we could get our bodies into. The more anal sex we had the better it got.

That was nine years ago. We never attempted vaginal sex again. While so many of the couples we know have stagnant sex lives, we usually have sex five times a week. My husband and I feel incredibly connected. In a way, we credit my Vaginismus for our incredible sex life and incredible marriage.

Although many women with Vaginismus may find anal sex just as painful, I believe there are many who could benefit as I did by having an open mind and trying anal sex.

Thanks for sharing your story. I’m sorry that vaginal sex caused such a struggle in your sex life and your relationship with your husband in the past, but I’m so glad to hear that you were able to discover anal sex and enjoy the anal only lifestyle going forward from there.

Anal can be a gamechanger for many women with vaginismus and similar conditions. While, as you note, sometimes it can affect anal as well, more often than not anal is significantly easier to enjoy than vaginal, as you discovered. I’ve talked with numerous women over the years with similar stories, who had struggled with sex and intimacy due to vaginal discomfort or pain, and who found that going anal only and excluding vaginal penetration entirely provided the pleasure, sexual expression, and intimacy they’d been missing.

While there are absolute benefits to going anal only for almost everyone, it’s very obviously advantageous in circumstances like yours where vaginal sex is actively painful and essentially impossible to do with any sort of enjoyment. Hopefully, with the growing shift towards anal positivity and openness, doctors begin recommending anal as the alternative rather than women continuing to suffer through painful vaginal sex, or undergoing surgery for something unnecessary when anal is a better option anyway.

Message: Vagina as Lube Dispenser

Anonymous: Thank you for publishing this amazing blog with great content and helpful sex advice!

There is however one function of the vagina that you may have overlooked, namely to act as a lube dispenser for the anus. My girlfriend gets very wet when we make out, and is very easy to have anal sex with – she’s often clean down there and relaxed. So I just dip my penis in the pussy – for no longer than necessary – just to make it wet and lubed up, and then move to the ass. With this technique, we can enjoy very spontaneous anal sex without much preparation.

The vagina as a source of lube is commonly used by those who practice the anal only lifestyle, though typically not through penis-in-vagina penetration, as many choose to avoid that entirely. The same effect can be achieved through non-penetrative contact. If this works well for you, however, and is what you prefer, go for it.

In the Absence of Tumblr

Tumblr as a platform for this community has now been absent over half a year, and that absence is still very heavily felt. While other platforms like bdsmlr have popped up to attempt to replace it, so far very little has actually done so from what I’ve found so far. Bdsmlr replicates many of the functions but has many ongoing bugs even still, including the biggest one for me where captions I reblog are frequently absent from the posts, so people viewing my blog there just see images and none of the text caption content that has always set my blogs apart from others. Until that gets resolved, I’m no longer going to expend any effort on Bdsmlr.

So, I’m asking the community: where are you spending your time lately, what platforms have you found that replicate the functionality and community of Tumblr the best so far? Features that I need include: multiple blog support, tagging posts and searching the entire platform for those tags, reblogging (with the original caption(s) still attached), queuing, and drafting posts, and probably some other things as well. I’m interested in resuming my original Tumblr blogs at some point, and I’d really like to get them back on a platform that works as well as Tumblr did before their downfall.

Update 8/4: It appears that I’ve been able to get Bdsmlr working correctly again, so will resume posting there for the time being.

Message: Why Are Orgasms From Anal So Much More Intense for Men?

Anonymous: There is much talk about the anal orgasm being more intense than vaginal for the woman, but what about the guys who are penetrating? Why is the orgasm from anal so much more intense than from vaginal? Is it the forbidden nature of the act? Is it the tightness of the ass vs the vagina? Is it the beauty of the ass and anus vs the vagina? For me it is a combination of all three. I find the vagina bland and boring compared to the ass and frankly I literally empty my balls into the rectum whereas my orgasms from vaginal are ho-hum at best. I would be interested in hearing other peoples views on the matter.

I agree that it is likely a combination of factors. It feels better, it’s more intimate, it’s more attractive and appealing, and it is for many people more exciting. Those things combine together to result in better orgasms for everyone.

Message: Why Should I Go Anal Only?

Anonymous: I like anal sex a lot but until I found your blog I never thought of the idea of only doing anal sex. Isn’t it better to do both and have options? Why should I give up my pussy and just do anal?

Well, if you don’t want to, you shouldn’t. Adopting the anal only lifestyle should always be a choice, not something you’re pressured into without wanting to try it for yourself.

But since you reached out and are asking, I assume you have some genuine curiosity about it and are interested in why it might be better for you, so I’m going to respond in kind.

For some people, both might be better, but in my experience and from conversations with many other anal only people out there, there’s something even better about the exclusivity of anal sex and the exclusion of vaginal sex that just makes the anal that much better and sets it apart from doing both.

I think there are many different levels to this, including the fact that it can be exciting to go against the norm of primarily doing vaginal sex and perhaps only occasionally doing anal and deciding instead to make anal the norm for yourself and vaginal abnormal. Add in the fact that the anus is more sensitive and prone to pleasure than the vagina for most women and can often lead to orgasms more easily and intensely than vaginal sex. And then, perhaps one of the biggest factors is that vaginal and clitoral orgasms most often lead to a loss of arousal and feelings of regret and mood drop afterwards, while anal orgasms just lead to more pleasure and arousal for most. So by excluding vaginal sex (and for some, clitoral stimulation) the anal experience just continues to get increasingly better the longer you are anal only.

I’d encourage you to try it for a month or two and see what you think for yourself. Most people find that they don’t miss vaginal nearly as much as they might have thought and discover that anal feels much more natural once they focus completely on it.

Discussion: What Happens if You Have Too Much Anal Sex?

A Quora user asks this question, which is actually a fairly common thing people interested in the anal only lifestyle and introducing more anal sex into their life in general are concerned about, and which ties into a lot of anal myths and fears.


I don’t know yet. After having anal sex probably a couple thousand times in the past 20 years, the only effect I’ve noticed so far is that I can more easily allow something to go up my ass.

What about incontinence!?


None whatsoever.

Well, I suppose, but no more than normal.

Now you’re really reaching.

It’s not just me either. I have more than a few friends who like it up the butt. Some, moreso than others. They all report no ill effects whatsoever.

Ernie Dunbar, Quora

If it starts to hurt, stop. If it starts to bleed, stop. Other than that you’re fine

You don’t have anything to worry about as far as fatiguing your butt muscles, since they snap back to their normal tightness within a few minutes after you stop playing, and like all muscles they tone up and get stronger with use.

Bonnie Smith, Quora

These are both great answers that get to the truth of the matter with anal sex. There is no such thing as too much anal sex, in a universal sense. You just need to listen to your body and if you get sore or feel pain, you should take a break. If everything is good, you’re good. The more you gain experience and practice with anal sex and the more your body is conditioned to it, the more you can do without getting sore or fatigued. Some can only do it once every week or two when first starting out, some a few times a week, and some multiple times per day.

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Message: This is Not About Pleasure at All

Anonymous: if you really believe anal was the height of pleasure, you would stop touching your dick, and only take it in the ass. almost like its not about pleasure at all and is entirely about you forcing women into ignoring parts of their body literally designed for penetration because of your anal fetish.

No one is forcing anyone to do anything. If you prefer anal, or are curious about why it might be better than vaginal, then this blog is for you. If you are uninterested in anal or in anal exclusivity through the anal only lifestyle, then you’re free to ignore it.

There are some women who sincerely prefer anal over vaginal and so choose to focus on that. This is also true of some men, who prefer receiving anal penetration and focus on that instead of using their penis. All are welcome and encouraged in the anal only lifestyle.

But consent is key, always, and no one should ever be forced to do such things. What I do is share my perspective (and that of others) so that those who have similar interests or are curious about this approach to sexuality are able to have a resource to learn more and interact with others like themselves, or be encouraged to try it for themselves if they haven’t yet already.

A Reminder That Reader Participation is Encouraged

Since this blog has left Tumblr, its readership has increased, but reader participation has decreased. No doubt this is partially because Tumblr made it so easy for anyone to respond, ask questions, and share content right through the website or app in a manner that everyone using Tumblr was already very familiar with.

Fortunately, it’s just as easy here: you can add comments to any post by clicking the Comment link next to the post date, or by scrolling to the bottom of an individual post. And you can ask us questions or share your stories by clicking the Ask link at the top of each page.

A community is always much more enjoyable for everyone when we’re all engaged and interacting more actively, so always remember that you’re encouraged to share your perspective, whatever it might be. Whether you agree with something and want to say so, or if you disagree and want your differing perspective known, it’s all encouraged and welcomed here.

Quora: Why Do I Prefer Anal?

So asks a Quora user, who receives the following response:

That’s surprisingly common. Many women tend to resist the idea of anal sex because of its associated taboo, but most women who try it out find they enjoy it quite a bit more than vaginal. This is probably due to the anus having more nerve endings than the vagina, plus it’s generally easier to reach the g-spot through the anus than the vagina.

Martin Jantzen, Quora

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