Reddit: How We Went Anal Only

I always wanted more anal but never thought my GF was into it so didn’t often try to initiate. Then one time she asked me to fuck her in the ass because she was having a heavy period when we started messing around, then next time she asked for anal again saying she’d cut herself shaving her pussy and wanted to let it heal before I fucked her there again. Then she said it was taking a while to heal and wanted anal AGAIN… eventually I asked if she was just making excuses and she said she was and that she prefers anal but didn’t think I did! Since then we’ve been anal-only for about a year. I fuck her ass at least 3 times a week and these days her clit barely gets touched either. Honestly I wouldn’t mind if I never fucked another pussy, ass is just the best way to fuck a girl by miles!

Continue reading at r/analonlylifestyle on Reddit

Article: Anal Sex’s 45-Degree Rule Is The Key To Enjoyable Backdoor Play

Have you ever heard of the “45-degree rule” for anal sex? Well, not many people have. It’s certainly not given the attention it deserves. You can read dozens of articles on the best ways to enjoy anal sex and never hear the rule mentioned. Meanwhile, it’s essentially the key to enjoyable anal play for both men and women… well, besides lube. Always use lots and lots of lube during anal.

The 45-degree rule refers to the angle in which you are tilting a butt plug, anal beads, a dildo, or a penis inside the anus. It’s not this straightforward “stick it in your butt and go” kind of thing.

Like with all things in sex: It’s a bit more complex than that. If you want to take your butt play to the next level, unlocking erogenous zones you may not even know you had, start using the 45-degree rule ASAP.

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Message: Never Aroused By Vaginal

Joe: Hi, I just wanted to say thanks for putting this website up. It’s helped me a lot with something that’s been a worry of mine for years.

When I was younger and becoming aware of sex I found that I was never aroused by the thought of vaginal sex with a woman. For a while I assumed that might mean I was gay, but I’m definitely only attracted to women.

Then when I started to have girlfriends this problem became worse. I’ve discovered that I find it very difficult to cum while inside the vagina. In fact, I almost never have! With all the girlfriends I’ve had so far I’ve always ended up pulling out and either finishing by a hand over her face or butt or having her finish me with her mouth.

At first girls seem to like the fact that I can keep going in their pussy for ages without cumming but eventually they get upset that I can only finish in their mouth or on their body and I think this has been responsible for a couple of break ups. It’s only got worse if anything because these days my anxiety about not being able to cum in the pussy makes it difficult for me to even stay hard or even stay aroused at all if I have to have sex that way.

I had a pretty sheltered upbringing and I guess I’m not very imaginative so I hadn’t considered anal as an alternative to my problem until I started watching more porn and looking for sex advice online after moving into my own place.

Do you think anal might be the solution to this issue? How do I go about finding a woman who will try anal with me?

I’m glad you found this website helpful in determining that there isn’t anything wrong with you for not enjoying or preferring vaginal sex. It’s a preference, like everything else, and there’s nothing wrong with not liking it.

It’s not uncommon to dislike vaginal and find anal much more enjoyable both physically and mentally, so you may find it the solution to your problem, especially if you have found yourself aroused by the idea.

I suggest looking for a sexually open minded partner and suggesting that you try anal, or try for a few hookups where you discuss beforehand that you want to do anal, and see how it goes from there. I also suggest reading everything in the Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle so that you understand good anal sex technique before trying it with a partner. Good luck!

In Support of Vaginal Virginity

It will come as no surprise to frequent readers of this blog that I am a strong supporter of women who have not yet had vaginal sex choosing to retain their vaginal virginity indefinitely and go anal only before even trying vaginal.

Not only am I noticing a growing trend of women making that deliberate choice for a variety of reasons—which we’ll get into in a moment, but I’m also noticing more and more women who are making the switch to anal only later in life expressing their regret for ever losing their vaginal virginity and wasting so much time on vaginal sex when they could have stayed anal only all along and been happier.

So, if you’re on the fence or considering the idea of staying a vaginal virgin and focusing your life on pure anal only, here’s a list of some reasons why you should.

  • Anal sex is natural birth control and by going anal only you hardly need to worry at all about other forms of birth control and can enjoy sex naturally and without the baggage of unwanted pregnancy. Hormonal birth control can also cause negative side effects for many women, and using anal as birth control instead avoids that. This is one of the most popular reasons young women start out having anal sex only, but in many cases later shift their focus to vaginal for various reasons. Rather than doing that, choose to stay anal only and keep vaginal purely for getting pregnant later in life. Note that if you’re having sex with untested partners, you should still be using condoms to avoid risking sexually transmitted infections, and some women need hormonal birth control for other purposes than birth control.
  • Anal sex is more pleasurable for most women than vaginal sex, when done right. The common myth that still goes around, unfortunately, is that women don’t enjoy anal and suffer through it for their partners. This can be true if it’s rushed into without preparation—but that can be true of vaginal as well. And when done right, the reality is that most women enjoy anal pleasure more than vaginal and can orgasm more intensely and easily than from vaginal. By skipping vaginal entirely, you can focus all your sexual experience around anal pleasure and cut out vaginal as a transition to the best way to have sex.
  • It’s really fun and sexy, both for yourself, and for future partners, to know that you’re a very sexually experienced individual who absolutely loves anal sex and pleasure but who has zero interest in vaginal sex to the point that you’ve never used your vagina for sex even once. It shows a lot of confidence in what you want and need, and that’s kind of awesome.

So if you’re considering having sex for the first time, make it anal, and make sure it stays that way. It’s time for vaginal sex to die out and be replaced fully with anal. The more people who make the decision to go purely anal only, the faster that will happen, and the sooner an anal only generation will form.

Message: A New Default?

Anonymous: So I’ve only recently become aware of this community. Today I have been reading a lot of the posts here and on the forum, and it’s got me wondering something… why isn’t anal sex just the default?

I mean, in hetero relationships it’s an almost universally accepted cliche that guys are more into anal than women and it’s something the girl will occasionally let the guy have as a treat or whatever… but why shouldn’t it be the other way around?

If guys typically prefer anal, or don’t get so turned on by the idea of the alternative, then why shouldn’t they get to set the default and occasionally treat their partner to PIV on special occasions like her birthday (and only then if she’s lucky!)

There are countless guys out there living years at a time or even their whole lives wishing they could get more anal sex and being quietly disappointed by only ever getting to have PIV sex with maybe some blowjobs thrown in and anal once or twice a year if they’re LUCKY.

I say anal should be the new default! Women who want PIV should learn to live with the scarce treat of getting it when their partner feels like doing something extra special for them. They should have to live with the social stigma of wanting something most people think of as a bit kinky and “deviant” rather than the normal anal. They should have to look for special interest groups like “pussy only lifestyle” if they want to share hints and tips with others on how to introduce the idea of abstaining from anal if they’re kinky enough to want pussy only. Rather than guys feeling lucky to find a woman who’s into anal, women should feel that way if they find that rare man who prefers PIV to anal!

Why the hell not? PIV has been the default for countless years. And for what reason!? We’re tired of feeling like we have to work hard to find a women who will have anal sex, let alone only anal sex. We’re tired of often feeling like we have to have inferior PIV sex out of politeness or frustration. Give AO a chance and drive PIV into the niche special interest category it deserves to be! If some women have to readjust to finding anal pleasurable or only getting what they really want once in a blue moon, well that’s how we’ve been feeling for a long, long while. It’s time for some equality!

While I certainly agree that it’s time for anal to become the default and for vaginal to largely or entirely disappear as a form of recreational sex and become purely a procreative act, I would suggest that your framing of this being driven by men getting what they really want and women just having to go along with it is the wrong way to look at it, and not equality.

The right approach is to reframe and normalize anal for everyone so that it is no longer seen as something unusual or uncommon or done only as an occasional treat or suffered through for a partner, but as an incredibly sexy, pleasurable and intimate act that’s the pinnacle of sexual expression, and to ensure that everyone enjoys it immensely. Because the reality is that anal is more pleasurable than vaginal when done right, not just for men, but for women too. And if you take the time and have patience in introducing it to a partner, they’ll come that realization too, and want more. And once you know anal is consistently giving you more pleasure and better orgasms than vaginal, it’s not too much of a stretch to shift first towards doing anal more and more, and then to anal only.

Let’s definitely make anal only the new default, and strive for true equality of pleasure and intimacy that everyone can enjoy and be happy with.

Message: Anal Dilemma

Ronald: Hi, I found your blog when I was searching Google for advice on my situation and it seems like you might be able to help me.

My wife and I enjoy anal sex often but she recently asked me if we can stop having vaginal sex because she doesn’t enjoy it as much as anal. Now I love anal, but I don’t want to stop using her pussy either.

She says vaginal hurts sometimes and is harder to get turned on by and she doesn’t orgasm from it as easily. What can I do so that she wants to do both? Or should I?

Thank you.

I would ask you to consider why you want vaginal. There are a number of different reasons some guys can struggle with the idea of going anal only.

  • You feel denied a part of your wife and your sex life and see it as a sort of closing off herself to you in a way. Instead, recognize that it’s more of her opening up her most intimate and pleasurable part of herself to you fully and wanting to focus more fully on the thing you do together that give her the most pleasure.
  • You fear that excluding an option for sex will result in less variety and make sex more boring. This is a common concern that doesn’t actually hold up in practice most of the time. Anything can become boring, but most often people become bored of vaginal all the time—because vaginal is inherently pretty boring compared to anal, and anal gives a lot of opportunities for other variety and fun things that you can do to mix things up—butt plugs, ass to mouth, double anal, developing pure anal orgasms, and much more.
  • You think the preparation needed for anal will make sex less spontaneous. This can be solved with a bit of compromise—on your part, recognizing that it can take a little time and practice to get fully into the routine and that with practice there will be little preparation needed—and on her part, wearing butt plugs or using dildos in between having sex on a more regular basis, and establishing a daily cleaning routine in order to be ready for sex at any time.
  • You think that vaginal sex is something couples need to do in order to be normal. This may not be a conscious thought that you have, but it may drive your concerns about going anal only. Often, people admit that they don’t enjoy vaginal as much as anal, but they still do it anyway because that’s what people do and that’s the “normal” way to have sex. The reality is, there is no normal. Do what works best for you. If you prefer anal and find you don’t actually like vaginal all that much, why waste time on it? Focus on what you do enjoy.

Ultimately, consider also whether your wanting vaginal is more important than her enjoyment. Vaginal isn’t as enjoyable for her as anal, and that’s actually not that uncommon for a lot of women, so her wanting to focus on anal, the thing that is more fun and pleasurable for her, makes a lot of sense.

I’d suggest giving it a try for a few months and see how it goes. In practice, you’ll most likely find that you don’t miss vaginal sex at all and will quickly recognize the many benefits of being anal only and of having a partner who is thoroughly pleased with the type of sex she’s getting.

Article: Your Complete Guide To Butt Plugs — One Of The Best Sex Toys Ever Invented

So what makes a butt plug different than a dildo or vibrator? While there are many toys designed for anal use, a butt plug tends to have a couple distinguishing characteristics.

A plug is designed to go in and stay in for the duration of its use. While, theoretically, you could absolutely maneuver a plug in and out if you wanted to, folks tend to use dildos for the “in-and-out” sensation. That’s because plugs have a tapered shape that begins small at the top, becomes large in the middle, and tapers back down to a slim diameter at the neck of the toy right before the flared base at the bottom. The thin neck allows for the sphincter to close a bit more so that the plug can be retained inside the body and worn comfortably.

Unlike other anal toys, plugs can easily be worn over longer periods of time. Many people enjoy wearing them for the duration of their playtime, and some folks enjoy going out with a butt plug inserted all night. You can also opt to wear a plug for just a few moments.

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Support the Anal Only Lifestyle Community on Patreon

I’ll preface this by saying that I don’t intend to make a habit of such posts, but many people are unaware that we have a Patreon page, so the occasional reminder serves to let everyone know.

This community and blog cost time and a little bit of money to keep active, and I’ve been doing it for about six years now. If you enjoy or find value in the content posted here, the forum, the Discord server, or any other part of the community, I’d ask that you consider supporting my work through Patreon and help me justify spending more time to keep producing a larger amount of original content and articles for everyone to enjoy.

I’m not making any of the primary content members-only or anything, but patrons do get access to a special forum and Discord channel, as well as polls on Patreon itself, where they can share, vote and help guide the direction of content they would like to see going forward.

Support the Anal Only Lifestyle on Patreon!

Message: Top 3 Reasons for Anal Only?

Mrk: Can you give the top 3 reasons for men and 3 for women for joining the AO lifestyle?

I can’t speak for everyone, so I can’t say these are the top three, but here are a few reasons.

For Men

  • It’s a tighter, grippier sensation than vaginal, and a lot of men enjoy how it feels more.
  • It’s more visually appealing, and vaginas look better empty while anuses look better and sexier filled.
  • You can have sex much deeper than with vaginal.
  • Men like butts and the idea of having sex with them is pretty inherently appealing to many.
  • It’s easy to get quickly bored with vaginal sex, but anal sex doesn’t get boring in the same way and inspires arousal and excitement for a lifetime in comparison.
  • It allows a deeper, more intimate connection.
  • It’s different and less common, and the idea of fully replacing vaginal sex with anal and abandoning the vagina completely can be very exciting.
  • There’s very little risk of getting pregnant compared to vaginal.

For Women

  • Anal is a more intense sensation than vaginal, which can often be fairly bland in comparison. The feeling of being filled is also much more intense.
  • Anal orgasms are also more intense, and in many cases easier to achieve than vaginal orgasms. Anal orgasms without clitoral stimulation also don’t have the post-orgasm low that often comes from clit orgasms.
  • For those who enjoy feeling submissive, the idea of giving up one’s vagina for pure anal penetration only can feel like a very submissive act. However, for those who aren’t into dominance/submission play, anal and the anal only lifestyle can be enjoyed on their own merits as well.
  • Just as for men, being anal only can be an extremely intimate act, far more than vaginal.
  • It’s natural birth control without the negative effects of artificial hormonal birth control, allowing pleasure and sexuality without the baggage of pregnancy risk.

Article: How To Have An Orgasm From Anal Sex

If you have a vagina, the odds are that you need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. But there are some lucky people who report that they’ve achieved a less common type of climax: the near-mythical anal orgasm.

An anal orgasm is exactly what it sounds like — getting off by stimulating the anus. Most people associate anal orgasms with people who have penises, since they have a prostate (a gland located inside the anal canal that’s considered a “potent pleasure point”). But even though people with vaginas don’t have a prostate, sex experts and doctors say it’s possible for them to achieve an anal orgasm. After all, some women can come without their genitals being touched at all. So why write off the possibility of getting off from booty action?

Anal orgasms are possible for people with vaginas because of the anus’ proximity to the nerve endings of the vaginal wall and pelvic floor, says Evan Goldstein, DO, founder of Bespoke Surgical. By having butt sex, you can pleasure your vagina from indirect contact, he says. Not to mention, your anal opening and the inside of your butt are erogenous zones in and of themselves. Even if you don’t get off from anal play alone, the anus is a part of the body riddled with nerve endings that, when stimulated properly, can provide an array of sensual delights.

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