Anonymous: So I’m a anal slut, I absolutely adore getting fucked in my ass. I’ve been having anal for the past 2 years but I’ve still never had vaginal sex. For ages all the boys loved this and so does my current boyfriend but he wants to take my pussy’s virginity and I don’t know if I want to break my anal only lifestyle. What do you suppose I do?

So, I’ll start by saying that my perspective and bias is going to be pretty obvious, considering the source. I say you should insist that you want to stay pure anal only and want to keep your pussy unused because you value that and think it’s hot to stay that way. Vaginal is likely to be a disappointment after being anal only for so long, anyway. A lot of women who start with anal for several years and then try vaginal later before ending up back in the anal only lifestyle later in life express regret that they broke their anal only streak and bothered with vaginal at all. You can always choose to try vaginal later, but you can never choose to go back to being a vaginal virgin.

That said, you should think about what you want. It sounds like you’re conflicted and if it was up to you wouldn’t be bothering with vaginal at all, so it’s more the pressure from your boyfriend that’s making you consider it. But it’s your body, your pussy, your lifestyle, your choice. If you value being anal only, and that’s what you identify with, you shouldn’t give that up lightly. You have to weigh the desire to stay anal only with what your partner wants.

If you do decide that you want to stay anal only, you should sit down with your boyfriend and tell him why and what it means to you, and that it’s not a rejection of him or what he wants, but that staying anal only and not using your pussy at all is something that you value and want to maintain, and that you’re not willing to give that up. Remind him of the positives: he can fuck your ass anytime he wants, anal is better than vaginal, he can cum in you all he likes without ever getting you pregnant, etc. You can also talk with him about anything else that he’d like to do that maybe you haven’t tried together yet, and start doing that instead of vaginal.

So I’ve gone all this month so far with out touching my clit and I’m able to orgasm from anal, think I should just keep going strictly anal only or should I phase my clit in and use it a little more? And am I still considered a vaginal virgin if I have only fingered my pussy once?

Congratulations on being anal only and going without touching your clit all month! If you’re able to orgasm from anal and you’ve gone this long without clitoral stimulation, why not try to keep going and see how long you can go without it? There’s nothing inherently wrong with clitoral stimulation, of course, and if you really want to keep doing it, by all means go ahead, but if you enjoy not doing it and only orgasming from anal, I’d suggest that you continue to build on your month-long streak so far and see where it takes you.

Vaginal virginity most commonly refers to not having had vaginal intercourse with a partner, so yes, you are a vaginal virgin if you’ve only fingered yourself vaginally. Is remaining a vaginal virgin and being anal only long-term something that interests you?

Anonymous: I have vaginismus (a really tight pussy too tights to have sex or it hurts a lot) and my doctor had my try stretching it out and I tried but it just hurts so bad and turns me off more every time, so she suggesetd I try anal instead. I found your blog when I was looking, and it sounds great if people really do anal only, any tips? I’ve fingered my ass some and I like it more than my pussy.

Anal has proved a welcome option for a lot of women with vaginismus over the years, and it’s great to see that it’s being encouraged as a serious alternative to vaginal. We in the anal only community often come from adopting anal as the primary form of sex by choice because it’s better than vaginal, and it is, but it also can provide an outlet for pleasure and intimacy for women incapable of having vaginal, and that’s wonderful.

It sounds like you’re on the right track by starting slow and exploring with your fingers. Keep doing that, be sure you’re using some sort of lube, and start to add more fingers. From there, start with a dildo or a vibrator and gradually work up further in size as you’re comfortable and ready for something bigger. Butt plugs are also good for a more passive approach, and you can wear them in your ass while masturbating clitorally or even while doing other things.

I’d suggest only trying anal sex with a partner once you’re comfortable using a similarly sized dildo and are confident you’re ready and can do it without pain.

Anonymous: Is it cheating to do “no pussy November” if you’ve always been anal only? My parents are very religious and I was raised thinking I had to save my virginity for my husband. When I started having boyfriends I learned about “Gods loophole”(lol) and started having anal sex with my boyfriends. I love it now and I cum much harder being fucked in the ass than if I just play with my pussy.

Not at all! A lot of people participate even though they’re already anal only. You can always take the opportunity to add another level to your anal only commitment, whether it be clit denial and only orgasming through anal, long term butt plug wear, increased anal play more frequently or with larger toys, or something else that interests you and relates to the anal only lifestyle. You could also choose to make the commitment to staying anal only permanently, even after marriage.

So I’m a vaginal virgin and I have decided it’s time to give up my clit and be completely done with my pussy I love using a dildo and watching in a mirror seeing my closed pussy and the dildo going in and out but back to the subject I need some help and encouragement to give up my clit I have tried Orajel but it didn’t numb it and I can only make it like a week with out my clit but then I use it and feel guilty and ashamed I used it any ideas?

Feeling guilty and ashamed after clitoral stimulation is a fairly natural response for a lot of women, and is one of the unfortunate side effects of clitoral stimulation and orgasm. It’s not universally the case for everyone, but it’s really common. Going fully anal only and focusing only on anal pleasure is a great way to be able to enjoy sex and pleasure (and maybe even orgasm from anal) without those effects, which leads to increased arousal and better sex.

If you’ve been heavily dependent on clitoral stimulation in the past, it can be a process to get to the point of losing that urge and reliance going forward. A week is a good start. Next time try to go longer than a week. Each time you give in and touch your clit, try going even longer the next time, and over time you’ll continue to build up your self control and resistance to such urges. It’s the same as breaking any other bad habit.

Tools like Orajel, superglue, and clit shields can be helpful if they work for you, but they aren’t strictly necessary. If Orajel specifically isn’t working, you can try either applying a larger amount and seeing if that has any effect, or look at similar brands and comparing the active ingredients—different ones use different topical anesthetics, and some may work better for you than others. Another simple option is just putting tape over your pussy when you masturbate or have sex to keep yourself from touching yourself there.

And finally, I think it’s great that you’ve decided to go anal only and maintain your vaginal virginity, that’s a continually growing trend that I really encourage. One day we’re going to have an anal only generation, and women like yourself are the first step towards that.

Anonymous: I’ve always been anal only. When I was a virgin I loved the thought of just using my ass for sex and it made me so hot I decided to make it happen. I learned how to train my ass and the first time I had sex I told him I wanted to keep my pussy virgin and just do anal, and he of course had no problem with that, and I’ve stayed that way ever since. I had tried masturbating with my pussy before then, but I knew anal was better and have never been fucked vaginally and never will. I love it so much!

That’s a beautiful thing, thanks for sharing your love for pure anal only! You’re in inspiration for the growing anal only generation. There’s just no reason to ever have vaginal sex anymore for non-procreative purposes. Pleasure, intimacy and health are all better with anal.

Anonymous: Honestly, this is the first explanation of sex I’ve heard that makes sense. The vagina for fun and pleasure and also babies just never made sense to me, vagina for babies and ass for fun and pleasure makes perfect sense and is obviously how it’s supposed to be. I’ve never let a guy fuck my pussy because it didn’t seem right and now I know why and I don’t want to start. So you can count me in as another anal only girl! Now that I know that name, it’s a perfect fit for me.

I’m glad you found the blog and realized how right it felt for you, then! A lot of people, in my experience, share similar feelings but don’t know how exactly to express them, or think that they’re unusual by having such feelings and don’t know how many other people there are out there with the same feelings. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting anything to do with your pussy and only enjoying anal. Welcome to the “club”!

Anonymous: Hi I’m a virgin but I finger my own asshole in the shower since I was younger. It’s the only way I can feel any pleasure and I got so addicted to it I never want to have my pussy fucked. Like ever. This has become a huge kink for me. I’m an avid reader and because of your advice I now only watch anal porn and as soon I make out with a guy I tell him I’m anal only. Some of them don’t call me, but most of them love it. I think we are winning our space in the world and being open about it is everything

Thanks for sharing, it’s always good to hear from more anal only enthusiasts, especially from more vaginal virgins who strongly advocate for permanently avoiding vaginal sex. It’s something I’d definitely like to see more of!

I definitely agree with being open and up front about being anal only. The more people do this, the more normalized and accepted it will become, and the more other people will be encouraged to try it for themselves and discover how right it is for them.

Anonymous: I’m freshly 18 (so still live at home and don’t have a job yet), im also a virgin so excuse the dumb question. since I’m unable to buy proper lube could I use baby lotion?

Unscented lotion can work. Avoid soap or shampoo. Coconut oil, shea butter and similar also work. Vaginal juices and saliva are also an option.

The original poster followed up:

the lotion I have is Johnson’s any lotion with shea & cocoa butter, is this safe to use?

It should be okay, but I would suggest trying a small amount first and gently rubbing it into your anus and then waiting a few minutes to see if there’s any sort of burning sensation from it. If not, it should be good to use. At first glance it seems to just be some oil with shea and cocoa butter mixed in, so it should be fine.

I don’t know about other guys but I’m definitely fully into penis denial since I started to try it a few years ago. I went back and forth with it at first but then I started to cum from just anal a lot more easily without it and then I was done with my dick, it’s so much sexier and feels right to be anal only without any part of my penis involved. I definitely encourage giving up both your penis stimulation and it’s so hot seeing cum just ooze out of my penis know I didn’t touch it at all. My gf loves it too she is also anal only and a vaginal virgin and we only use dildos since I don’t use my penis

Btw can you encourage more men to be anal only and maybe start a month just for them like dick denial December and can you give my gf some encouragement and reasons why she should stay anal only cuz she has said she wanted to give me her vaginal virginity

While it’s less common than the more traditional form of anal only where the man’s primary sex organ is his penis and the woman’s primary sex organ is her anus, there certainly are others who enjoy the same dynamic as you, where both partners are receptively anal only. If it works well for you, then that’s great! Anyone can enjoy receiving anal and anyone can come to prefer it, so it makes sense that being anal only is something that can appeal to women and men both in the same sort of way. There’s probably a bit more of a stigma about the idea of a man doing that still, unfortunately, so I suspect less people talk about it than practice or fantasize about it.

As for your girlfriend, you should tell her how much you love her being anal only with you and think it’s really sexy and wonderful that she’s a vaginal virgin. Tell her how you value the two of you staying anal only. A lot of anal only women regularly express how they wish that they had kept their pussy virgin and stayed anal only from the start rather than wasting time on their vagina in the hopes that it would be something worth doing. I understand the drive some people have to try everything and find out what they like best, but the reality is for most people, anal is so much better than anything else and by starting with anal, vaginal will usually end up just being a disappointment and something to regret. Committing to anal only is something that can always change in the future, but she can’t go back to being a vaginal virgin.