Anonymous: I totally agree with your encouragement for girls to keep their vaginas virgin and to start with anal and only ever do sex that way. I’m in my 30s and I only did anal until my early 20s before I decided to start using my pussy too, basically out of laziness, in order to be easier to date and fuck guys. I never really enjoyed it, and spent a few years kind of miserable and unsatisfied as the guys I dated spent all their time there and barely paid attention to my ass.

After I got out of a long vaginal only relationship where I was really hating myself for what I’d become, I took some time for myself and got back into playing with my ass, wearing butt plugs and riding dildos anally almost every day. I really loved it, and it wasn’t until this time that I was really conscious about what an important role anal and being anal only played for me. I followed one of your anal only challenges and only masturbated anally—not even my clit, as I’ve always been able to orgasm anally and I thought stopping all use of my pussy and clit would be the best way to refocus my sex life back where it belongs—for an entire month, and I’ve just kept going since. I started dating again and was much more selective, making it clear that I’m only interested in anal. I had some good hookups with guys who were okay with skipping my pussy and going straight for my ass.

And now I’m a few months into a new relationship with a guy who loves anal almost as much as I do. Things are going great, and we’re both really happy with being anal only. But I really wish I hadn’t spent so many years wasting my life on vaginal and my biggest regret is that I didn’t stay a vaginal virgin. So if you’re a vaginal virgin right now who is interested in or practicing the anal only lifestyle, listen to the advice and stay that way. You’ll never regret being an anal only vaginal virgin, but you will regret giving up your vaginal virginity.

Thank you for sharing, and well said! As I’ve commented before, you can only give up your vaginal virginity once, so if you have hesitations about doing so, don’t do it. If you do, it’s not the biggest deal in the world, and you can (and likely will, as you’ve discovered) end up back in the anal only lifestyle eventually because vaginal will never compare to the pleasures and benefits of being purely anal only, but there’s something special about choosing to keep your vagina completely unused and focusing purely on anal pleasure and sex, so if that’s still an option for you—take it!

In a world filled with a variety of birth control options, it may seem unusual to make the claim that foregoing vaginal sex entirely in favor of anal is the best option, but there are a number of reasons why it’s true.

Anal is Natural and Requires Nothing Else

With unwanted pregnancy, especially among teens, an ongoing problem, one has to wonder why, in an age of widely available birth control options, this continues to happen. For younger women, it can be the result of being scared to ask their parents for birth control, or not having the means to do so. In the heat of the moment, some people just give in to their impulses and forego safe sex practices, which can have long-lasting effects on one’s life.

With anal sex, none of that matters. You can just have sex, as often as you like, and it isn’t going to result in pregnancy. It’s natural birth control, and it’s better as a result. You don’t need to remember to use condoms, take pills, or go to a doctor to get a birth control implant. You don’t get the unwanted side effects of hormonal birth control. You just forego vaginal sex in favor of anal every time, and get beautiful sex and pleasure as a result.

While care should be taken after ejaculation to ensure that semen doesn’t run to the vagina, the chances of unwanted pregnancy from anal sex outside of deliberate efforts are very slim. And of course, with new and untested partners, the use of condoms is essential for safe sex to avoid the spread of sexually transmitted infections.

Anal Offers Better Pleasure and Intimacy

In addition to the natural birth control effects, anal is superior in every other way as well: it’s better for pleasure and intimacy compared to vaginal sex.

Done properly, with appropriate warmup and practice, anal sex is the most pleasurable form of sex, leading to more powerful and intense orgasms than can be had from vaginal penetration or clitoral stimulation alone. And in part because of the fact that the anus is a person’s most sensitive and private part of their body, trusting a partner to exclusively have sex with them there leads to a great increase of intimacy. Being anal only with a partner can also be a delightful and sexy secret that you share with each other, which also amplifies intimacy. Anal only couples commonly report the increased intimacy being a major draw towards staying anal only long-term.

Save Vaginal Purely for Getting Pregnant

If you’re just getting started with sex, or are struggling with other birth control options, consider foregoing vaginal sex entirely and electing to go anal only instead. Not only will the sex be better, but you’ll immediately benefit from the natural birth control effects of being anal only.

Keep vaginal for procreative sex, when and if you choose to have children at some point in the future. Focus on anal for everything else—pleasure, arousal, intimacy, bonding. It’s better for all forms of recreative sex.

Anonymous: I love love love your blog and loved your blogs on Tumblr when you were there. I’m 28, and a vaginal virgin by choice since I was 16 when I first had sex. I have never liked my vagina or vaginal sex, and always been turned off by it and wished I didn’t even have it. I’ve always played with my ass, and barely even tried playing with my cunt after I did it a few times and hated everything about it. It just feels gross and wrong to me and turns me off immediately.

So instead I’ve been putting things up my ass as long as I can remember and having anal sex only for the last 12 years and I plan to never have vaginal sex. The idea of being anal only forever and keep my cunt totally unused and untouched makes me really happy and so that’s my goal. I love everything about anal and nothing about vaginal. I do it all—ass to mouth, permanent clit denial for the last decade, even double anal I love! I’m engaged to a wonderful man who I have amazing anal sex with almost every day and who feels the same way and wants to keep me a vaginal virgin too.

My only hesitation at all is that we want to have children, and while it makes sense that vaginal sex is for getting pregnant and anal sex is for everything else, I just don’t ever want to get fucked in my cunt even for that. I read that some people have been able to get pregnant without having vaginal sex, can you give us some advice on that? I hope to get pregnant but never have to get fucked any way but in my ass. Thank you!

You sound like a wonderful woman and your fiance is a lucky man. Everything you described about yourself is exactly what I would consider an ideal partner in every way.

As for getting pregnant without having vaginal sex, that’s a topic of growing interest among anal only women, and there are multiple women in the anal only community who have success with that goal.

Some have gone to a fertility clinic and undergone in-vitro fertilization treatments in order to achieve that goal. This is a very successful way to go, but also expensive.

Some will have anal sex like normal and then pull out and spread open her vagina to ejaculate inside without penetrating. The use of a speculum or other tool to help hold it open can aid with this, as can certain medical lubricants in the vagina to help his semen penetrate more deeply quickly.

My personal preference is a variation of the above, where anal sex is done normally in a doggy style position but he ejaculates inside and then spreads open your vagina while you push out his semen and it runs down into your vagina. Potentially paired with the above lubricant technique, this can be very effective and is a pure anal technique that involves anal sex to completion. It can take repeat attempts over several months to be successful, but that just means more anal sex to enjoy!

Good luck to the both of you.

New member Marie on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum shares her story:

My name is Marie, I’m 25 yrs old vaginal virgin. I’m married for 5 years, but I have the same partner for 9 yrs. 

I started my sexual life from anal at my 16 birthday and we still continue that kind of sex. My husband is older from me, he is 31 now. He is experienced in vaginal sex, but he told me he is not interested in that kind of sex anymore. I have accepted this, because I was very young and I was afraid of getting pregnant. I can cum hard from anal only, it’s not necessary to caress my clit. Initially, I thought he will take my vaginal virginity later, but we are couple for 9 years and he won’t do that, my pussy doesn’t exists for him. I admit that I don’t want do vaginal sex too, but we want to have kids in future…

Upon being asked for additional details, she added:

My boyfriend introduced me into anal, but I heard about that kind of sex, I had many talks about with my friends and parents, about anal sex too. My mom told me many good things about anal (more pleasure for both, no way to get pregnant, no condoms, no pills). She is very active with anal. She told me, it’s not okay to force my boyfriend to use condoms, if he won’t use them. 

My boyfriend told me, that vaginal sex will be painful on the beginning, it’s risky (pregnancy) so we will be stressed every month waiting for my period (he does not accept condoms and pills). He told that vaginal sex is not very pleasant for him and he doesn’t want to do that, and that anal sex is best for us and asked if I accept that. I told “yes” immediately 

My first anal was nice. No pain, no bad surprises, but no orgasm too. I had to learn how to earn pleasure for that, but every next intercourse was better. I had my first anal orgasm after two months. I cum fastest on standing position, from behind

I had a few reasons to try anal before vaginal: 
– I heard many good thing about anal
– I heard many bad things about vaginal
– I was afraid about pregnancy
– my boyfriend doesn’t want to use condoms and he loves to cum inside me
– he is not interested into vaginal sex at all. I’m young and my pussy is tight for sure, but he doesn’t want. No pussy, anal only.

Anal sex is just better. If I can reach strong orgasm from “second” hole, without risk, with more pleasure for him, why should I use my pussy? I don’t see any reason and sense. After my first sex I told my mom about our choice. She smiled and praised me for this responsible decision. 

I told my gyno about that and she see no contraindication to continue beeing AO.

Continue reading on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum

LoveButtLove: I started watching porn before I had sex and I really liked seeing anal more than anything else, and that got me to start playing with my butt because I wanted to be like all the pretty girls getting buttfucked. I played with my pussy too, but I actually liked it in my butt more so before very long that’s pretty much all I did. I would get started with my pussy sometimes, kind of like foreplay, and then switch to my butt to really play with myself.

By the time I had sex for the first time I didn’t even play with my pussy anymore and I asked my boyfriend to put it in my butt. That’s all we ever did, and all I’ve done since then too. I like that I have sex all the time but that I’ve never been fucked in the pussy even once and I really want to stay that way now because I think it’s really sexy and just better. But my new boyfriend doesn’t understand and he has been pushing me for pussy. What do I do?

First of all, congratulations on making the best choice and going anal only while staying a vaginal virgin. That’s absolutely the way to go if you have the choice, as you’ve discovered.

As for your boyfriend, you need to sit down with him and have a talk. Tell him that you love having sex with him but that you’re an anal only girl and always will be, and have zero interest in losing your vaginal virginity. If he has a real problem with that, it’s better for it to come to a head now rather than in the future. But if you can convince him to just keep going with anal only for a while, he most likely will realize in time that there’s actually nothing to miss about vaginal and that he can get everything he needs through anal and that it’s actually better for the both of you that way.

A user on Reddit shares:

I am a 19-year-old college student at the University of Alabama. My family are devout Christian’s so I have to be a virgin until marriage. I first had anal sex two years ago and since then I have not been able to stop lol. I’m basically what you can call Addicted to it and recently have been putting myself into fairly risky situations in order to get it. At this point I don’t even think about vagina sex and hardly look forward to it.

Anyone who has followed this blog for long knows that we highly encourage this and praise anyone who chooses to or is interested in pursuing it. While the motivation of saving one’s vaginal virginity until marriage for religious purposes may be less than ideal in the greater context of the anal only lifestyle, it is a not-uncommon way to introduce someone to the pleasures of anal without the distraction of vaginal and to help them realize that staying anal only without bothering with vaginal—even after marriage—is the best option for them. We can all hope that this young woman ultimately decided to do that.

Continue reading on Reddit

Anonymous: Hi! I’m glad I found your blog, it seems the perfect place to ask this question I’ve been asking myself for quite a while.

I’m 24 and I first had sex when I was 17, but we only did anal and oral. I didn’t have access to birth control and didn’t want to get pregnant, and my parents were religious so they always pushed not losing my virginity until I got married. I know having anal sex doesn’t make me a virgin anymore, but I was young and horny and it seemed like a good compromise at the time. I loved it, it felt amazing and I quickly learned to orgasm from anal, so there was no urgent reason to start doing vaginal sex.

I got older and had more boyfriends and since I enjoyed anal so much and still felt my parents saying I needed to keep my pussy virgin until I got married, so I always told them I was saving myself for marriage but we could do anal, and they were almost always totally okay with that, so it was easy to just stay anal only, even though I wasn’t in that mindset and really wanted to do vaginal too someday. I had never considered the idea of only doing anal forever, it was just for practical reasons at first and then because I liked it so much and it was so easy to just stay that way and not challenge myself.

Now, I’m not at all religious and no longer have any religious motivation to stay a vaginal virgin, but I’m in a relationship now with a man who I love very much who has told me how much he loves that I have always only had anal sex and that he would like me to stay a vaginal virgin, not to stay “pure” but because he is only interested in having anal sex and he thinks it’s sexy that I’m not only anal only but that I’ve never even done vaginal and that my vagina is virgin.

I had a hard time with this idea, because as I said I always wanted to lose my vaginal virginity eventually even if I have only done anal for seven years now and really do love it, but I can see his side as well. Even I can see why it’s an appealing idea, there’s something special and sexy about being different from all the other girls and never using my pussy, only my ass, but I still wonder and haven’t decided for sure yet.

For anyone who thinks he’s being unfair or selfish, he isn’t, we’re equal partners in our relationship, we love and respect each other very much, and we talk about each other’s wants and needs. He will respect whatever I do, but he will also share his opinion and desires, and I respect that too.

Do you have any advice you can offer? Should I try to have vaginal sex at least once to see what it’s like? Or should I do what he suggests and just move on from the idea of it entirely? We probably won’t have children, or if we did, we’d adopt, so that isn’t a factor. Thank you!

I think you should stay a vaginal virgin and commit to being anal only for good. You already know you love anal sex, you’ve been anal only for close to a decade now, and all your sexual experience and development has been anal oriented. Vaginal sex can’t get anywhere close to the pleasure, intensity or intimacy of anal, so by starting with anal you’re already doing the most enjoyable thing, and trying vaginal at this point is just going to be disappointing in comparison to what you’re used to.

Most women who start with anal and enjoy it, then try vaginal later, ultimately end up returning to anal only and say they regret ever wasting any time with vaginal and wish they’d kept their vaginal virginity. So why bother? Stay an anal only vaginal virgin and have no regrets.

You love it, your boyfriend loves it and has openly expressed how sexy he thinks it would be for you to stay anal only with him, and the fact that you don’t foresee having children are all reasons to shift your thinking and no longer see anal as something to do for now until you eventually do vaginal, instead recognizing that you’re already doing the ultimate form of sex and that there’s no reason to backtrack to something inferior that you won’t get anywhere as much enjoyment out of.

Be proud and happy to be purely anal only.

Dee: I think you’re right that it’s better to start with anal. I’m not a vaginal virgin anymore (I wish that I was) but I had anal the first time I had sex and didn’t try vaginal for 3 or 4 years after that. My boyfriend was pretty thick and long but because I didn’t know any different and didn’t really have anything to fear about it, I just relaxed really easily and he fit inside no problem from the start. We had anal sex easily and I loved it, it didn’t hurt then and never has hurt for me. My boyfriends have said I’m a natural at anal, but I think it just is a lot easier if that’s how you start and don’t know it’s “supposed” to hurt.

Another boyfriend wanted to do vaginal and pressured me into it, so I did it eventually, but I never liked it as much, and after we broke up (I always resented that he made me do vaginal) I started looking for guys that were happy with just anal and went back to anal only, and now I identify as an anal only girl and know that’s all I want.

Thanks for sharing your story and perspective, that’s been my experience as well, and is one of the reasons I think it’s beneficial for people to go with anal first if they have the choice and forethought to do so.

I’m sorry you were pressured into losing your vaginal virginity. At least now you know definitively that vaginal is not something you want in your life and it helped strengthen your identity as an anal only woman. Sometimes trying vaginal as an anal only virgin, or slipping back temporarily to having vaginal sex after going anal only, even if neither are ideal scenarios, can end up making you realize how much you actually dislike vaginal and how much better anal is and send you right back to the anal only lifestyle stronger than before, uninterested in ever having anything to do with vaginal again. So it’s not all bad always.

Though there has been a long tradition of women losing their anal virginity before vaginal in order to avoid getting pregnant when other forms of birth control were not available, or to save their vaginal virginity until getting married for religious or other personal reasons, anal as the initial form of sex continues to get increasingly popular, in part because of increased exposure through pornography, articles, and other media, and the resulting lack of stigma and increased curiosity that comes from the exposure and normalization of anal pleasure.

The result is that a growing number of women are being introduced to the nuances and pleasures of anal and its far greater intensity and appeal long before they ever try anything vaginal or build up any connection with that form of stimulation and begin to normalize it over anal. Learning how to enjoy anal first and becoming used to the level of pleasure it provides virtually guarantees a life of preferring anal over vaginal, which benefits everyone and ensures that everyone will be enjoying the best form of sex.

That’s not to say that women who don’t start with anal first won’t end up preferring it as well, it just helps to eliminate some of the biggest hurdles that prevent people from even giving it a serious chance. Many women refuse to even try anal, since vaginal gives them at least some pleasure and it’s easier to just stick with what they know. Even many who enjoy or even admit to preferring anal don’t give up vaginal because they feel they have some obligation to continue doing it. But if you start with anal and learn quickly that none of those myths are true, and have no old vaginal-related habits or ideas to get over, it’s very easy to just focus on what’s best and never waste any time on inferior vaginal penetration or stimulation.

If you have the opportunity to go straight to anal sex without trying vaginal first, take it. If you have friends or acquaintances in that position, encourage the same for them. The less people have vaginal sex, the more everyone wins.

Anonymous: I wanted to offer a different viewpoint that might seem odd, but for me is important. 🙂 I’m a girl, and I’ve never had vaginal sex of any kind (I’ve rarely ever even fingered myself; it’s thanks to vaginismus.) That said, I don’t think I’d consider myself a “virgin”. To me, having a dick up my ass means I am a virgin no longer, even if “technically” I might still be a virgin in society’s eyes. I believe spreading the view that no vaginal sex = virgin even if you’ve had anal sex is disappointing and honestly not necessarily true in my honest opinion. Just wanted to offer this perspective. Love the website, so glad I found it! 🙂 Makes me feel very validated and confident in myself, as an anal only girl.

I agree completely! Having sex means you aren’t a virgin, and having anal sex is just as legitimate a sex act as vaginal is. Either counts towards not being a virgin anymore. Someone acting like you can stay a virgin by doing anal is lowering the value of anal sex in the process and saying that it’s not an equal act to vaginal.

However, if you only have anal sex, you are still a vaginal virgin if you haven’t had vaginal sex, and vice versa for an anal virgin if you’ve only done vaginal. I use that terminology on this blog to differentiate between people like yourself who have never had vaginal sex at all, and those who have gone anal only after having done vaginal in the past. It does not mean that one is a virgin in a general sense or somehow inexperienced sexually.

The idea of doing anal sex to preserve one’s virginity comes out of an entirely ridiculous concept of avoiding sex before marriage for religious reasons, and while I appreciate the effects it has on more people trying out anal sex early on and learning how good it is, it would be best if that entire concept went away and people instead just did anal because it’s better.

I know that there’s a special place in my heart for women who are anal only vaginal virgins, because as someone who seriously appreciates and prefers anal sex and the anal only lifestyle, there’s something so special about someone who chooses not to (or is unable to) have vaginal sex at all, ever, and only wants to do anal from the very start.

Thank you very much for the message and welcome to the Anal Only Lifestyle community! I’m glad you found us.