Hello from Sweden, everyone!

I’m a middle aged woman living in a D/s relationship since many years. My husband is my Master and he’s in charge of most parts of my life – of which sex is one.

I found AOL on Tumblr a long time ago and immediately became interested in this lifestyle. My husband hasn’t been willing to give up my pussy though. Until a month ago, that is. Suddenly he declared that my pussy and clit was now off limits! Quite unexpected to me.

Since then we only have anal and oral sex. We both love it!

I’m here now to learn more about training my ass in all aspects. I’d like to stretch it in order to manage somewhat larger toys as well as increase my stamina so to speak. I’d like to be able to wear butplugs for a longer time (hours). I easily get sore. We have to be quite gentle all the time and I dream about being able to receive harder pounding once in a while.

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The reasons why I like being anal only and aspire not to touch my pussy at all.

• Anal is hot. All men like it. It’s a fact. Why would I offer anything less than the best way to fuck?
• No touch for the pussy is the sweetest mindfuck ever. Less touching definitely doesn’t mean less thinking or desire. When I’m on no touch – the only way to have any release is to have him fuck me. And that leads to the next point.
• I’m constantly horny. I remain aroused even after my ass is left gaping. And I jump at every opportunity to have sex. No “headaches” ever.
• I put more effort into looking good for Him and finding time for sex. It does wonders to my self-confidence and bolsters our relationship.
• We have sex more often. Almost every day, instead of once or twice a week. That’s a huge difference.
• Anal is more intimate. Not everyone even does it. That alone makes it special. But there is more to it. It requires more trust and willingness than any other form of sex.
• Anal is a ritual. Just think on it. You have to prepare before it and measure your pace at the start. It’s more deliberate. At least on receiving side. And the intensity of the sensation makes you very much aware and mindful until the end. An offering, if you like.
• It makes me more submissive. There is nothing like a cock deep up your ass that can put you in place. As soon as it’s in – mindset changes on its own.
• We can concentrate on actual sex, instead of rubbing between my legs or things like that. He doesn’t need to perform. More passion and enjoyment for both.
• No need for contraception! Pills aren’t exactly healthy, and other means range from disgusting to ineffective. Pussy is for procreation, ass – for recreation. It’s that simple.

There is one drawback only – I can’t cum like that. But it’s only reasonable to choose all those benefits, right?

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Anonymous: Last week I showed your post about Valentine’s Day to my girlfriend and we decided to try it together. That might seem surprising, but she really loves anal and we do it pretty often already, but with vaginal about 30% of the time too. She thought it sounded fun to try anal only, so we agreed to do it for a week, starting on the evening of the 14th.

Well, I can tell you that it’s been a big success! We haven’t done vaginal since, it’s been a little over a week now, and neither of us miss it. So we’ve decided to keep going. For now we’re going to try to the end of the month, but we agreed that if we still feel this way on March 1, we’ll stick with it. Anal is very much our preferred way to have sex anyway, so if it turns out that vaginal doesn’t really do anything for us and we don’t miss it, we’d rather stick with what does work best!

Thanks for the suggestion.

Congratulations! Thanks for sharing. It sounds like you’re well on track to a lovely anal only future together, for sure!

As a freeuse wife, I usually flirt subtly like getting all dolled up and flashing him casually by bending down so he can see up my dress. But I rarely initiate sex unless it’s waking him up with a blowjob because I like him being in control.

Well the other night, relaxing after work and we had both had a few drinks, and I’d been wearing a small plug that I bought myself last week. I was wearing a pair of thick black tights underneath my dress, but didn’t tell him I had cut a hole just low enough to expose my asshole for use, while still covering most of my cunt.

I went to the restroom and gently pulled out the plug, making sure I was nice and clean inside. I took a syringe and squirted lube up inside myself and carefully walked back over to see his glass empty, so I refilled it for him and straddled him when I came back. We kissed for awhile and I started undoing his pants and pulled his dick out. His hand moved up my dress and he sighed when he felt I was wearing tights rather than stockings. He told me to go lie on the bed, but instead I surprised him by getting up on my knees, reaching down between my legs, and pushing his cock against my bare asshole. I kept kissing him while slowly trying to force him inside me, and after a few seconds, pop he was in! I lowered myself completely down on him and kept slowly romantically riding him. It felt so close and intimate! When my legs started getting tired in that position, I turned around and kept riding him until he had me stop and just held me there, sitting on his lap with his dick up my ass. He kissed my shoulders and his hands traveled all over my thighs, ass, groin, everywhere but my cunt. He felt my tits, traveled down my stomach all the way down to where my hair would start if I had any, and stopped. He moved his hands back to my hips and I started bouncing again, he started thrusting harder and faster, and I felt so close to getting off! Alas, not today. But maybe someday.

He pulled out slowly while I squeezed myself shut, and I wiped myself down while he had a quick shower. Our love life has never been better! I’m so glad we made this change!

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Preface: I know not everyone goes without vaginal contact, but we do and it works well for us.

I was doing amazingly well enjoying my husband pounding my ass and going no contact with my cunt these last few months, but out of the blue I started struggling! I figured out that I’m probably ovulating thanks to going off birth control and it has awoken my needy little clit. I got the courage to talk to him about it last night after spending all day working out and cleaning the house to keep my mind off of the sudden and overwhelming urge to touch myself. He thanked me for being honest with him about my difficulty, and I feel so relieved knowing he is here to help me instead of being disappointed in me for not being absolutely perfect. We are all a work in progress.

So he introduced me to clit snapping. I keep a rubber band around my wrist so it’s always handy, and when the urge gets severe, I lightly stretch it out and snap it against my clit. Thankfully there are so many nerves there it doesn’t take much and doesn’t leave it too red or do any damage, but it hurts enough to take the edge off my desire to pleasure myself. Then I use my energy for something useful instead.

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Hi, I’m Julieta, I’m 23 years old and I live in Uruguay, South America. I feel enthusiasm and curiosity about the anal only lifestyle, I decided to only have anal sex for a month, even though I have been a week. 

I will tell you my story.
When I started my puberty and start to explore my body, I touched my vagina but I was afraid to penetrate it and I tried it with my ass, when I was 14 years old I had a boyfriend and I did anal sex with him, not vaginal I was not sure if I lost my vaginal virginity. So my first time was anal months before my first vaginal time. 

So from the beginning I had a predisposition for anal sex but I always did vaginal sex more than anal even though I always had both 

now I don’t have a boyfriend I am free and I have casual sex or with friends, recently a friend imposed me to have anal sex more frequently, and that awake the anal aroused in me, I have even realized that I like it more than vaginal sex OMG, anal sex is more exciting.

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I’ve let my husband control all our sexual activities and have been happily free use for him since we married almost 10 years ago. I love how beautiful it makes me feel when he touches every part of me, even the places I used to think of as dirty. He introduced me to anal sex early on, and it has gradually become more frequent, but he used to usually bring me to orgasm using my clit afterwards, partly as a reward and partly as a way to help me tighten my asshole back up and keep some of his cum inside me without needing a plug.

At the beginning of last month he told me I was ready to stop relying on my clit and that he would be taking a break from my pussy. We haven’t had anything but anal since then, which has never given me an orgasm. He reminds me how strong I am and he tells me how much he loves to see me learning to relax and not being lazy to rely on orgasms to find my muscles. He has been sliding a finger up my ass and having me tighten up after sex so that I can keep most of his cum inside me. He told me today that he intends to remain anal only and it feels a bit daunting but I’ve always trusted his guidance and he’s never made me anything but ecstatic to have such a loving and nurturing husband who pushes my sexual boundaries.

For the most part I love it and I’m not entirely sure why. I’ve always loved making him happy and he seems very proud of me for going so long without orgasm. He has always helped me learn to love the ways he wants to touch me and maybe I will learn this way too. It still feels more uncomfortable than it is pleasurable, but I’m getting used to it and figuring out how to relax faster every time. The other night when I was on my period he didn’t even have to remove my tampon, he told me how nice it was to not have to make a mess and he was right. I’m hoping I learn to really enjoy it even if I don’t learn how to orgasm from it.

I had no idea there was an entire community dedicated to people who felt this way and I’m excited to have so much to read up on and learn about. Thank you for sharing your stories, I’ve begun reading some of the success stories and they make me feel all warm and fuzzy. If anyone happens to be in a similar situation and cares to share any words of support or encouragement, tips and tricks, or maybe even pitfalls to avoid, it would be appreciated. I’m looking forward to being a regular poster when I have updates.

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In order to more directly respond to various parts of this message, it has been broken up into several chunks with replies in between.

Laura: Hello, I’m Laura, the wife getting into anal only for her husband – you’ve kindly answered my questions the 17th of December. I replied to you, but I’m not sure you got my message. I wanted to give feedback and ask some more questions.

I appreciate your advice to talk openly with my husband, but I don’t want him to know the only reason I’m getting into this is because I was frustrated and spied on his browser history, discovering vaginal and clitoral sex “disgusted” him. So far, he thinks the shift to anal only comes from me genuinely wanting to get into it, and it makes him feel extremely good according to what he posts online on dedicated boards (I spied more on him) and according to his general behavior. I don’t want to spoil it.

I admit I first tried this because I felt trapped (married, two kids) and upset he was “disgusted” by vaginal and clitoral sex, it was initially a simple effort to save my marriage, but I’m enjoying this more than I thought I would. I liked anal sex as soon as he introduced me to it, but anal only is something else.

When you answered me, we were actually already doing anal for three to four times a week, without me being sore. I followed your advice to get him off from blowjobs when anal started to get uncomfortable, but in just two weeks like you said, he could take my ass whenever he wanted without me being sore. Now he fucks it about every day on average (more on weekends, less during the week), and I feel fine despite him being quite large.

I’m glad to hear that you’re adjusting to it easily and finding that you can have anal sex daily without an issue. Maintaining that routine will just get easier and better for you as you continue.

I bought a toy like you said, a dildo about the size of my husband to practise. I hid it in the bathroom, and every time I have to empty myself, I rinse my ass with water (not too much) to be clean, then I use the dildo to help push the remaining water and learn to get pleasure just from anal. I stopped clitoral stimulation like you recommended and like my husband wants. Is it normal that the frustration feels sort of good and makes me enjoy anal more (both during sex and masturbating)?

It’s quite common for women to enjoy the frustrating of ongoing arousal even if they don’t ultimately orgasm. Some women prefer not to orgasm at all, as maintaining that constant arousal leads to more positive sexual interaction and a healthier sex life, and it can just be more fun. Others do want to orgasm but like to find ways of orgasm that don’t impact that buildup of arousal so much, like anal orgasms do.

So far, I can’t orgasm from anal at all, but I do get a lot of pleasure. I stopped birth control, and I feel a bit different, I don’t know if it’s related to the pill or if it comes from anal sex.

Likely a bit of both. Hormonal birth control does impact people pretty hard, and it’s common to feel different and better without it, but going anal only also has positive impacts of its own, so it’s probable that you’re enjoying the benefits of both.

Has it, therefore, been several months since you last orgasmed? The arousal must really be building in you. Are you able to manage or do you find it hard to resist? If you want to persist in avoiding clitoral stimulation entirely, really keep focusing on the anal sex and play and doing it as often as you can. It can take months to get to anal orgasm for some women, and while some do find that they can’t ever quite get there, they end up enjoying not orgasming even more and the pleasure of anal on its own makes up for it for them.

Like I said, I spied more on what my husband says online, and it turns me on to read his fantasies then do it like it’s my own idea. His “I can’t believe my luck” face every time I do something he talks about online makes me feel incredibly good. So far, this adventure really got us closer together and really changed the way I look on sex. Sex now feels as hot as when we started our relationship (a bit better, actually), and our couple works better too, with less tension. My husband seems more confident and a lot happier.

That’s wonderful to hear, and I think you’ll find it just keeps getting better. Some people use anal only as a spark to revitalize their sex life, but often, if you stick with it, it’s not like vaginal where it’s fun at first and then becomes less so down the road—anal only stays exciting and keeps getting better.

I have a question about ass to mouth, which is apparently a big fantasy of his: is it safe? From what I understand, since it’s my own body, as long as I’m clean it’s OK (like I said, I rinse a lot, so I’m always clean)?

Yes, it’s safe to do ass to mouth, especially from your own ass and if you’re visually clean. Many, many people do it without issue regularly, and given the popularity of rimming, it’s likely that even with other people if everyone’s healthy and clean, it’s rarely an issue.

I grew up in a very liberal household, and it would not be uncommon for my mother in particular to openly talk to me about sex, body functions, puberty etc. She didn’t give me “the” big talk, but instead, first explained to me where babies came from when I was in first grade (or maybe a little younger) when I started to be curious. It never was a topic to be ashamed of afterwards (it hadn’t been before either, I just hadn’t been too interested), so many more little “talks” followed when I would have questions.

Anal sex was a very normal part of these conversations, since she presented it as something completely normal. I remember her explaining that some woman prefer vaginal sex, while others prefer to use their anus. I couldn’t really imagine having anything, let alone a penis, in either of these holes… But then again, we all change when hormones kick in, don’t we?

When I started to make my own sexual experiences, I quite liked vaginal sex after a very short while, so I didn’t really think of trying anal. Plus, let’s be honest, you don’t really want to copy your mother as a teenager.

It took me until my time as a university student that I first tried anal masturbation. I grew into it more and more, though sadly, the guys I was dating back then weren’t too interested in anal – something that still fascinates me, given how, when you read online, it seems like almost every guy’s biggest dream is to take his girl’s ass. Anyway, since there was nothing wrong with vaginal sex, I didn’t complain too much.

All that changed when I met my now husband. He had always loved anal sex. In fact, he loved (and loves) it a lot more than vaginal. That came to me as a surprise though. The very first time we had sex, he wanted to do doggy. I was thinking well, it’s not the most intimate, but it’s a fun position, so why not. So I turn around and he gets behind me. To my surprise, he straight went for my ass. He had a condom brand with a lot of lube and went slow, so it wasn’t too big of a problem that I hadn’t been wearing a plug or something, especially since I regularly masturbated anally.

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Anonymous: I’m a dominant heteroflexible cis woman. I love anal and am intrigued by the benefits of anal only and clit denial described in your blog. I see space for me to partake in this with my sexual preferences and proclivities. I’m hoping you can offer suggestions or advice on switching over to AO? I have never cum without my clit before and only recently have been able to without a vibrator. I’ve read your guides as well, very helpful!

Thank you!

I don’t see any reason why not! There’s nothing inherently dominant or submissive about anal sex or about being anal only, it can be what we make of it and how we fit it into our existing sexuality. As someone who already loves anal, surely you would agree that it’s something you can enjoy as a dominant woman. Being anal only is just about focusing on that thing you already love and making it your priority with the exclusion of other, lesser forms of stimulation. It’s an opportunity to explore anal pleasure and learn to pursue greater forms of orgasm and learn how to do so by other means than what you’re already familiar with, taking you out of your comfort zone in order to grow.

I would generally suggest switching to anal penetration only first, without abruptly eliminating clitoral stimulation. Some people try it all at once together with positive results, but if clit stimulation is a strong habit and need for you, it may make it more challenging and unsustainable to do it all at once. So perhaps starting by only orgasming and using your clit when having anal sex, masturbating anally or wearing a butt plug, and eliminate vaginal penetration from your sexual routine in favor of anal penetration only.

Then, after a few months, if you find you’ve adjusted well to being anal only in that regard, start exploring the process of gradually reducing clitoral stimulation in favor of exploring anal pleasure on its own. There are a variety of ways to do this, from completely stopping and seeing how long you can go without it, to reducing clitoral stimulation to a twice a week activity for a week or two, then going to once a week, twice a month, once a month, etc., gradually building up the amount of time you can go without it and letting your arousal build in between in order to help with achieving pure anal only orgasms.

Good luck, and you’ve certainly got my encouragement to go anal only! It’s definitely something that anyone can enjoy and benefit from in the right circumstances, and if it’s something that interests you, you should definitely try it! If you have any other questions, don’t hesitate to ask.