Message: Anal Multiple Times a Day
Anonymous: Hello. I’ve been with my husband for about three years and a half now, we’ve been married for about two years. When we met, I had never done anal, but he gradually introduced me to it. At one point, we were doing it quite often (every time we had sex, in fact), and that’s when he confessed to me that he was anal only, and that he only did vaginal sex with me in hope it’d change and I’d agree to switch to anal only with him. I tried anal only for a few months, and I finally agreed to switch. He asked me for marriage very shortly after that (I was 28), obviously I agreed (he’s gorgeous, I’m very much in love, and I really enjoy anal). It was a bit strange to think I’d nearly have no vaginal sex for the rest of my life, but eventually it became normal to me.
My husband is a blue collar worker, and he’s usually very tired when he comes home from work, so we generally fuck about three to four times a week. With the virus outbreak, however, we’re both trapped home, and he’s fucking me every day – several times a day, actually, up to four times a day. It’s to the point I woke up in bed several times with his cock deep inside my ass, plowing me while I was asleep. I’m not used to this at all, but I don’t want to turn him down: sex is a very good way for him to get the stress out – so far, everything is going fine at home despite the situation, and I want it to stay that way. I tried getting him off with blowjobs, but he’s always going after my ass no matter what.
What could I do to avoid being sore, and to be able to take it all? Apparently, this crisis will last for quite some time, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to provide anal sex at that frequency for that long. So far, I don’t feel sore and I’m having pleasure, but I’m a bit worried. Are there creams I could use? Will I gape permanently? My husband marvels about the gape I have lately and he jokes about it, but I’m worried about my ass not being able to close properly in the long term. How could I increase my sex drive to get closer to his? I talked to him about it a bit, and he told me to stop touching myself (I still touch my clit during sex, even if it has always annoyed him) – would that change anything?
Thank you for your work and for your answer.
Thank you for sharing, and it sounds like you have a great anal only relationship. Well done to the both of you for being able to make it work.
Daily anal, even multiple times a day like you’re doing right now, can be entirely manageable and safe, so long as your body is ready and adjusted to it. If it doesn’t hurt and you aren’t sore, then there’s nothing really to worry about. Listen to your body. If you start getting sore, maybe try a little less for a couple days. But really, once you get to where you can have anal four times a day every day, or more, without pain or significant soreness, you should be able to keep doing that indefinitely. Yes, you will likely relax more as a result and have a bigger gape, because your ass is staying more warmed up, but that is not a bad thing and if you take a break from it, it will get tighter again. And remember, being warmed up and relaxed does not mean being loose. It just means that you’re more flexible and elastic and need less preparation. It sounds like your husband appreciates you being warmed up and gaping, so it’s not a bad thing at all! It won’t harm you, so long as you aren’t injuring yourself, and if it doesn’t hurt, you aren’t.
As for higher sex drive, definitely try going without clit play and focusing on pure anal pleasure. If you can orgasm just from anal, try doing only that going forward. If you can’t, try to learn by going without clit stimulation for a while. Or if you really need to cum, use your clit the last time you have sex at the end of the day only. You could also try edging with your clit but not using it to actually orgasm.
Good luck to the both of you, especially in this trying time. With any luck you’ll be able to use the time to get closer and further develop and improve your anal only lifestyle in ways that you’ll both be able to enjoy for the rest of your lives!
As an ass man myself, I commend you for giving him 24/7 access. He must be in heaven with a woman like you. I do think he should understand you need a day here and there to recover. I think you should have an honest chat about how much you love him fucking your ass, that you want him to continue, but you need a break here and there to recover and recharge. It’ll feel good for him also when he gets your ass after a build up of anticipation. In the meantime offer him his second favorite way to cum.
Of course it depends on how big his cock is, how deep he goes, how fast, how long. These are all factors that can limit the healing after a satisfying assfucking session. I would recommend using Aquaphor, like Vaseline, it’s for tissue healing. I wouldn’t worry about the gaping as much, because it tightens back up given some time. Since you’re having so much anal, is makes sense why you must gape so easily. I wonder if he’s fucking you more often so he can see that beautiful sexy gape…?
Ultimately – listen to your body, it’s yours. You’re an amazing wife. He should understand.
Hello! Two weeks (I think it was that) after sending my message, I wanted to give some news and feedback.
First, I wanted to make clear that my husband is usually not like that. Being locked down is taking a heavy toll on him, and fucking and cumming very frequently is a good way for him to unwind. I’m taking it because I’m his wife, I love him, I enjoy anal, and mostly, I can feel that as a couple we can handle being locked down thanks to him getting the stress out through sex.
My worries were that I wondered if my body could take it safely, and that I wasn’t nearly half as horny as he was. It’s really weird being fucked in the ass all the time when you’re not turned on at all, especially in the morning when you wake up with your husband’s cock buried balls deep into your ass, plowing you like there’s no tomorrow. I was also worried because he told me he was sort of glad this crisis brought us closer together sexually and we should try keeping this dynamic after the outbreak is over. I was all: “oh my God, what am I going to do?”
To answer Ryan’s question: my husband is quite large, and he eventually always go balls deep. Usually, he’s gentle and goes harder and deeper very gradually, getting frenetic just before cumming, but since the outbreak, he’s always getting at it quite hard, going balls deep at the very first thrust.
To my amazement, I actually don’t feel any sort of pain or soreness. He hasn’t calmed down since I wrote my message, quite the contrary, but I don’t feel anything negative. I do “sense” my asshole and rectum all the time, though: it’s hard to describe, but I “feel” it all day long. It really changed the intimacy and perception I had with this part of my body. I will buy Aquaphor, though, just in case.
I followed my husband’s and the blog author’s advice, and I stopped touching my clit. I wanted to thank you very much, because after a few days, I could sense the excitation raising, and a few days after that, the situation was really turning me on. Now, I’m actually looking forward our next fucking session.
Usually, I’m cumming every time we have sex (three to four times a week) though clit stimulation, and my husband is looking forward seeing me have an orgasm, but since the outbreak, I haven’t come at all, and our sex is over when he comes, he seems uninterested in me orgasming. Back when I wasn’t turned on, I didn’t mind because I was mostly worried about my body and not into it anyway, and now, I actually find the dissymmetry strangely satisfying.
Anyway, thanks for replying to me and helping me out, both of you!
I’m glad to hear that things are going much better for the two of you and that you’ve been able to build your arousal significantly thanks to clit denial. It really does work remarkably well for that, and ultimately makes the experience better even without orgasm. Over time you may learn to orgasm just from anal, but even if not, you may find that you enjoy it more and star far more aroused than with clit orgasms. I agree that you should maintain this dynamic into the future, it sounds like it really has brought you closer.
At the rate that you’re having anal sex, and the amount of time you’ve been doing it now, it’s unlikely that you’d get sore or be injured because you’re going to stay much more warmed up and relaxed in between now, and your ass is much more receptive to being used for sex all the time as a result. The fact that you feel your ass and are aware of it much more throughout the day is partly this, and partly the fact that your arousal is starting to come more from your ass than from your clit, and it’s where you feel horny and feel the need to be filled.
I hope that you’ll stop by and follow up with additional updates going forward and let us know how things continue to progress with the two of you, it’s great to hear such stories!
Thanks for replying with detail, I’ll do the same. You’re an amazing wife! I believe wives that keep their husbands sexually satisfied with anal have the best marriages because of this intense intimacy. I’m sure you’re experiencing that now. Hence the AO critical trial month that this blog/forum recommends.
I’m still concerned that not taking a proper break might tear that delicate anal lining, even if it doesn’t hurt. Is it too personal to ask what it looks like at rest? Puffy? Red? Gaping? Make sure to use Aquaphor and check to make sure it’s still closing up.
Everyday anal is definitely possible, but “fucked in the ass all the time” sounds excessive. It might be because I’m not a woman and don’t know if you’ve simply built up tolerance(?). Perhaps it’s but because it’d be a total fantasy of mine to have a woman give me that much sweet anal access! Either way, keep on if you’re enjoying it. Sorry if you think I’m being bothersome, I simply want your husband to enjoy that ass for decades to come and for you to not resent him for any reason. Keep us updated during/after quarantine. We’re all here to support you.
In regards to his large cock and deep thrusts, I do think it’s important for him to ease into you with plenty of lube or precum. Large cocks and anal are truly meant for each other because of the near-limitless depth. No wonder why your husband is firmly AO. I tell people this all the time: big cocks are not to be afraid of, indeed, they are a challenge for women to accept into their ass because vaginal won’t be nearly as pleasurable. Accept the challenge and the rewards are unparalleled.
Great! I think it’s wonderful that you stopped clit play. It’s better sooner so that your body can readjust its pleasure pathways and orgasm anally. Ideally, females shouldn’t touch their clit from the beginning of going AO. It’s like using training wheels. They are nice to have, definitely NOT necessary. The benefit I’ve used clit orgasms for is a way to encourage associations to reach orgasm. Training women to cum while deepthroating me has paid off serious dividends! That way I can focus on my pleasure and she gets hers without any additional distraction…if that makes sense(?). Eventually, the clit play ends but the orgasm continues due to triggers like hard cock sliding into her fucking throat. I digress….
The best way is to use positions that restrict hand/arm movement. Holding her hands behind her on her ass while fucking from behind, handcuffing her to the headboard, having her rub my balls, having her hold her tits – are some ways I’ve achieved this. I’d recommend experimenting with positions like that. Many ways to prevent the hands from even reaching down there. Over time you’ll most likely experience the superior anal orgasm.
However, it doesn’t seem like an orgasm is your focus anyways! Which is also strangely understandable. One of my favorite FWBs was an anal slut who let me do whatever I wanted to reach my orgasm and didn’t care about getting her to orgasm. Ever! She had fun and that was it. It led to worry-free hard, hard orgasms. I’m sure you’re husband loves it too.
Thanks, analonlylifestyle for chiming in. I mostly agree with what you said. Keep up the great work.
The most important thing is for people to listen to their bodies. Everyone is different, and some people can very naturally and easily do frequent large anal penetration, while others need to work at it more and be more patient and gradual about it.
If it doesn’t hurt, doesn’t feel raw, isn’t sore, and isn’t inflamed for days after, there’s little chance that it’s causing a problem. Note also that there’s a difference between being inflamed from strain or injury, and simply being aroused, which tends to send more blood to the area of the anus and vagina and makes them more engorged.
It absolutely is worth making sure that you aren’t causing an injury, but once confident that you aren’t, enjoy getting anal multiple times a day without worrying about it. Just always stay in tune with your body and if you do feel you’re getting injured, take a break and make the time and effort to fully recover.
We’re a little different. PIV sex became sore tor my wife. I really learned to pleasure her with oral and finger insertion but not with PIV sex. So we became adventurous and I gave up masturbation and said goodbye to PIV sex. My wife gives me regular anal stimulation, gently, for my pleasure and that leads to an orgasm. We started with a plug that she still uses, and she also has a thin expensive vibrator that I love. Since we got so raunchy we actually purchased an expensive chastity appliance for those times I think my flesh becomes weak. Now I assure you this is no Mistress and slave marriage either, though obviously we have been known to role play given the circumstances. No PIV in nearly 10 years.
Hello, I wanted to give some more feedback after a month of not using my clit at all, and (again) very frequent anal sex.
I didn’t expect this, but not ever using my clit has been a biggest change for me (and for us) than switching to anal only years ago. Looking back, before, it was like I was masturbating my clit while I felt an extra sensation in my ass, whereas now, I really feel FUCKED by a MAN, you know?
Back when I touched myself, my husband made a point to tell me how he hated it because it was “selfish”. Since I agreed to never be fucked in the pussy again and only be fucked in the ass for him, I was annoyed he would call me “selfish”, but after stopping all clit use, I realize he was very right, and I now feel ashamed of myself. I actually apologized to him, in tears, while he made love to me. It’s true that touching my clit made me focus on ME mostly, whereas ignoring it makes me focus on HIM, what he’s doing to me, and what we’re doing together as a couple. I’m much more focused on his body and his pleasure, on touching him, making eye contact with him, responding to him, etc. In fact, I now see clit touching as an immature way to refuse to let go, while letting go and abandoning yourself to your partner is what makes you a real woman. It’s like I just understood what it really means to be a wife.
Ignoring my clit had a (big) second effect: my asshole has sort of become the very centre of my nervous system. I feel it every minute: my anus sort of pulsates all the time, like a heartbeat or like it’s hungry for action, and every single little thing I feel in my body radiates around it. When my husband fucks me there, it’s like fireworks, my entire being revolves around his cock rammed into my asshole, what he’s doing/saying to me.
I hadn’t got any orgasm yet, anal or otherwise, but honestly, I don’t really care. I also sort of feel aroused all the time, like my body urges me to be available non stop. It’s a good thing, because my husband does use me a lot (still, and more than ever), I don’t know how he can keep fucking and cumming in me four to five times a day on average – it’s been two months now! Apparently, my anus has changed, my husband tells me it’s bigger, more developed, and that anybody seeing me naked could tell I’m fucked exclusively in the ass. This seems to please him A LOT. He even joked that if anybody ever wants to rape me, he’ll go straight for my ass after seeing my anus.
@Ryan: my husband has never restricted my hands before, but since the moment I apologized for having been selfish (touching my clit for years), he did change in attitude. He’s now more verbal, calling me a “good girl” or a “bad girl” depending on his mood, calling me names during sex (“little slut”, “anal bitch”), etc. He now spanks me from time to time, either while fucking me or as (literal) warm-up (he likes to do it with me naked, bent over his lap, while he’s still fully dressed). He also grabs my throat and/or slaps my face when he fucks me in missionary – the first time he slapped me, I was a bit shocked, but then I immediately felt a wave of arousal/pleasure, and before I realized what I was doing, I immediately asked him to slap harder. He certainly did, and now, it’s just a normal part of our sex. He says that every time he slaps me or when he chokes me, my ass contracts, and it feels amazing around his cock. It’s a bit frustrating, because when he slaps me, I feel quite close to orgasm, but I never achieve it, he always cums (loudly) before I do.
Anyway, now he does restrict my hands a lot. He grabs my wrists, pins them down while he fucks me doggy style, holds them while he goes deep into my throat, and even tied them up using his belt a few times. He didn’t speak about handcuffs yet. He also likes to position my hands where he wants to see them, like on my ass so I spread my ass cheeks apart, or on my breasts to see me playing with my tits.
Sometimes, it feels crazy to think how much our dynamics changed in just two months, all this because of the lockdown. I now feel like a completely different person. It’ll be weird going back to work and have a social life. But I know I won’t ever be the person I used to be.
Thanks for continuing to follow up. It sounds like you’ve settled into an amazing dynamic together that’s better for the both of you. I hope you’ll choose to continue it even after the lockdown as best as possible, at least the frequent anal and total clit denial! Thanks for sharing your views on the immaturity of clit stimulation as well, it’s an interesting perspective!