Anonymous: How long have you been anal only? And have you begun to notice any physiological change, is your ass looser, more pliant and more willing now? I ask because my wife has the most luxurious ass and while we’re not anal only we are using it more and more and almost always finish in it. She’s eager to know if she’s going to feel any change as we become more focused on using her ass.

dumbandpretty: We’ve been anal-only off and on for a while now. I can’t say how long exactly, but long enough–I think–that any averse affects would have manifested themselves in some form or another by now. My ass isn’t looser; however, I have noticed the muscles there relax easier now, so penetration is less difficult and more pleasurable for me. My husband says its like making love to a woman who knows how to pleasure a man, vis-a-vis using muscle contractions, so I can only assume that means it doesn’t feel ‘looser’ for him. I can’t recommend anal-only enough. If you can get past the initial discomfort, the orgasms are far superior to anything you’ll get from vaginal sex alone, and the intimacy can’t be beat.

Anonymous: Why do you care so much about advocating for anal?

Because I like it and I want to help suppress the many myths out there about it so that other people can try it using proper techniques and enjoy it themselves as well.

Anonymous: So I have this crazy theory about why most people still seem to be against anal sex. I am able to have anal orgasms (no clitoral stimulation involved at all). Problem is that I can’t prove it. Sure my husband feels that there’s something going on inside my body. But I’ve been talking to some friends about it and they just won’t believe me. And I think that’s because religion STILL makes us think that women CAN’T like sex unless it’s for making babies. I think this is also a feminist issue.

I suspect that’s one of many factors at play.

There’s also a lot of misinformation involved, and a lot of people who think they know everything about anal but have never actually tried it themselves, or have only tried it incorrectly one time and never again. Statements that anal hurts or is only done to please men are very common, as are claims that damage and injury will arise from it.

Then there’s still the taboo aspect, which is fading for many but is still there for others, and which both prevents some who are interested in trying anal from expressing that interest, as well as preventing many who enjoy anal from saying so publicly.

It’s actually not too uncommon for women to be able to orgasm anally with no clitoral stimulation, and as more people continue to try anal (with the necessary preparation required to make it an enjoyable experience) I’m sure more will discover that they have that ability. Education and positive experience are probably the main things that are going to help get rid of the misconceptions surrounding anal.

Anonymous: Hiii please answer um I need advice for after anal relaxation ? For the being sore after ? And is training every day safe and what’s the best line option please

If you’re sore after, the best bet is to take a break until you aren’t sore. Sometimes it might be hard to avoid being sore when you first start out, but the goal should be to avoid being overly sore at all (beyond the general pleasant post-sex soreness that can be normal). Make sure you’re warming up enough and using enough lube throughout to reduce the risk of soreness. If it hurts at any point during, you aren’t quite warmed up enough yet, or you aren’t trained enough yet.

Daily training is fine as long as you aren’t overly sore and it doesn’t hurt. If it does, take as long as a break you need in between until the soreness goes away. You want to fully heal any minor injuries that may occur before they develop into bigger injuries.

From this article at YourTango:

Dr. Hilda Hutcherson loves sex toys, believes the world is much too pornophobic, and thinks more women should give anal sex a try. In other words, she’s the gynecologist every guy wants his girlfriend to meet.

Among the useful points she makes:

Can all women orgasm from anal sex? 
Every woman has the ability to orgasm, physiologically, because the space between her vagina and rectum is so thin that, in the doggie position, the penis is going to press up against her g-spot. Some women find it’s the easiest way to stimulate their g-spot.

How does a guy get a girl to let him in the back door when “open sesame” doesn’t work?
Well, the thing I can say to her as a doctor is, it’s not unsafe. She’s not going to be wearing a diaper, she’s not going to have fecal incontinence, she’s not going to be soiling herself or passing gas all day.

Now that we finally have doctors recommending anal sex to women, maybe we can finally put some of the more ridiculous claims about the ‘harmful’ side of anal sex to rest.

Anonymous: Isn’t it true that anal all time damages a girls butt? And wouldn’t doing the same thing all the time get boring?

No, that is not true. With lube and warmup, anal is perfectly safe, even practiced daily for years. There are couples out there who have been having anal sex only, regularly, for 20+ years with zero problems. The anus is a muscle, and using it properly can actually help strengthen it and develop good muscle control and tone. Regular anal sex can therefore give the illusion of increased looseness, but in reality this is generally due to the ability to consciously relax more easily and open up at will for easier sex. Similarly, the idea that anal sex causes anal prolapse is a myth. In reality, some people are prone to developing an anal prolapse and studies have found that it’s likely to happen for those people whether they have anal sex or not. But it’s very uncommon. In general the sort of injuries you might hear about from anal result from bad practices—sex without proper warmup or lube, resulting in a painful experience and potential injuries. If anal hurts, you’re doing it wrong and are at risk of injury.

As for boring, no. Because it’s not the same thing all the time, there’s all sorts of variety possible with anal and oral. It’s just the exclusion of vaginal intercourse. To many, that exclusion is something exciting and a turn on, not a limitation—either because vaginal sex doesn’t interest them, or because the absence of it from their sex life is an appealing fetish.

sissysuperhero: Now and then I hear from people who cannot believe anyone could enjoy getting fucked in their ass. They are confident it’s meant to be a one-way street.

Let’s look at the evidence.

1. The average rectum is exactly the same size as the average cock, and that the prostate is right next to it (G spot for bio girls). Why is this?
2. Some people can cum from getting assfucked without touching their genitals. This includes men, women, and gurls like me. Why is this?
3. Many of us who cum from anal also find that when we do, our ass produces creamy discharge like a pussy. Again….why is this?

Those three things could not be true if assfucking were unnatural, could they? We seem to have EVOLVED to enjoy assfucking! (Or for you born-again types, we were created that way.) Who knows why, but we have. So enjoy!!

Meli

Anonymous: When my wife and I watch porn together, she gets incredibly excited as soon as some butt play comes into it… She wants to take me back there but every time I get more than 2 fingers up her she gets scared and stops… Any ideas how to calm her down and make it easier?

Talk with her about it. What specifically is she scared of? Is she scared it will hurt? (Does it start to hurt? If it does, then stopping or backing off to less fingers for a little while is the right move.) Is she scared it will be messy? Is she scared she’ll be injured or become loose/incontinent? These are all things that can be talked about and avoided (and becoming incontinent is a myth except in very rare or extreme cases).

Tell her that you share her interest in anal and that you’ll go at whatever pace she needs to in order to be comfortable and can feel confident that she can experience anal play and eventually anal sex painlessly and with pleasure. Don’t even put full anal sex on the table yet, just say you’d like to continue exploring anal play for now and work up in size gradually. Try to make anal play a regular part of sex. A finger or two during oral, rubbing externally during vaginal in certain positions, or even some fingering during vaginal. If she expresses interest in continuing to explore further, you might at some point get a few small toys to use as well.

Anonymous: I really want to do anal because I know my partner wants it so bad! I just don’t know if it’s safe?

As with any sexual act, or most things in life, anal sex can have some risks, but these can be mitigated by educating yourself and practicing safe anal. Always use lube, practice and train—alone, with your partner, or both—before attempting sex, warm up by starting small and working up in size during each session, and very importantly, don’t do anything that hurts! If it hurts, it means you either don’t have enough lube, aren’t warmed up enough, or just aren’t ready for that size yet. And it also means you could injure yourself if you continue, so stop when something hurts, wait for the pain to fade and either try again more slowly or drop back to a smaller size for a little while before trying again.

Anonymous: is bad to leave a plug inside my butt all day? (taking it out just for the obvious and lubing).

Not unless it hurts. If it hurts, you should take a break. Otherwise, you’re fine. It’s not going to cause any sort of permanent looseness or anything, but it could put pressure on nerves depending on how it’s shaped and what positions you’re sitting in, etc. Plenty of people do it without issue, though, so give it a try and see if it works for you. One plug might be uncomfortable all day while another might work just fine.