Anonymous: Hey there! Im pretty new to this whole thing and I would like to know if it hurts (first time) Also is there going to be shit on my dick or something cuz thats kind of gross. But i would love to try Anal but find a way to make it fun and not disgusting 😛

The anus is a very sensitive area with muscles that are naturally quite tight when in their relaxed state. If you just try to shove it in, then yeah, it would cause pain to the recipient. In addition to using lubricant, you have to warm up and relax the anal muscles by opening it up gradually—start small, with something like a single finger, and slowly increase the size, two fingers, then three, etc., until ready for the size of your penis. Use of toys like butt plugs and dildos can also be useful when preparing for anal sex.

As for cleanliness, you should first accept that if you’re going to be playing with anal sex, encountering a bit of fecal matter from time to time can happen. Accept that, don’t make a big deal out of it or shame your partner for it, and move on. But that can be mitigated through multiple means—a balanced diet with a healthy amount of dietary fiber, going to the bathroom an hour or so before having sex, and if so inclined, using a small enema/douche to just lightly flush out the rectum prior to sex.

Anonymous: Lately my wife and I have been having much rougher anal sex. It’s amazing, but after I drop my load and pull out, there’s usually a bit of dripping out of her asshole that we’d like to avoid. Suggestions?

I think you left a crucial word out, unfortunately, but I can guess at what you mean. A bit of blood, or a bit of feces?

If it’s blood, try warming up more first, stretching a bit longer and a bit larger with toys before moving on to sex. Make sure you’re using enough lube. Whenever you encounter blood, stop and let it heal for a few days before trying again, just to make sure any minor injuries that may have occurred heal rather than turning into anything larger.

If it’s feces, try an anal douche/fleet enema before having sex. You usually don’t want to go too deep with an enema unless you go for a full deep enema and flush everything out—which you don’t want to do too often anyway. Also try having her wear a plug for half an hour or so before sex—in addition to helping warm her up, it can sort of temporarily “activate” the digestive system and move things along if things are close. If it’s just a bit at the end, though, I presume a minor douche would solve the issue.

Anonymous: This is kinda embarrassing to ask How can I avoid wether with a toy or my partner Getting poop on the two Like when it’s pulled out there’s a little that comes with it How and what to do to make sure nothing comes out

If you have a fairly balanced and healthy diet and go to the bathroom before having anal sex or play, you’re already going to be pretty clean most of the time. It’s always possible for there to be little trace amounts, though, and if you want to avoid that, you can use an anal douche to just flush out the rectum with a small amount of warm water. I would generally avoid deeper enemas that clean beyond the rectum and just stick to a relatively shallow rectal douching to flush anything out, and you should be good!

Anonymous: I know you have read this thousand times. Just for the record: I love anal. But how do you explain fucking a hole that is supposed to be use for eject faeces? Isn’t the pussy the anatomic place to fuck? The anus is just not designed to be fucked.

What’s there to explain? Evolution cares about reproduction when it comes to sex, and yes, you’re right, for reproductive sex, vaginas are where it’s at. But the vast, vast, vast majority of human sexual activity is non-reproductive. And while the anus may not primarily exist at an evolutionary level for sexual purposes, the reality is that it—just like the mouth—works really well for sex, and can provide and receive a lot of pleasure, more than vaginas in many cases. This may not have been by “design” or “intent” (never mind the fact that design and intent have nothing to do with it) but it is the reality.

Anal sex is just better for a lot of people. Yes, it can take some more practice and preparation, but the payoff is worth it. It might not be “natural”, but humans have a long tradition of figuring out new and better uses for existing things.

Anonymous: How can you manage the poop problem when doing anal, besides using enemas? I wanna try anal but the presence of poop, even if it’s just smell, scares me

With a balanced diet containing a healthy amount of fiber, most people’s rectum—which is where the vast majority of anal play and sex takes place—is going to be empty except right before you go to the bathroom. There is always the possibility of trace amounts of feces, but even this can be minimized.

Using a dildo, or wearing a butt plug for 15 or 20 minutes before having sex as part of your preparation can provide you with an opportunity to check and confirm your cleanliness.

A small, quick anal douche with just enough water to flush out the rectum without continuing to the level of a full enema is used by some to ensure cleanliness, but is not necessarily required for most.

dirtyndelicious: What are the pros / cons to being an anal only slut? Can you have an orgasm anally? Do you enjoy it more?

you-should-dp-me: I can’t have an orgasm exclusively through anal yet, but I’m trying! I enjoy anal more because it makes me feel like a true slut. Any old slut can stick a bunch of dicks in her cunt, but only a real slut can stay anal only. It’s a lot of extra work to prepare your asshole however the pay off is intense. I’d say that’s the main con of being anal only though, it’s difficult to be spontaneous. If I want to have anal sex or masturbate I have to carve out a large portion of time for prep. But if you’re patient and motivated then it can produce some incredible orgasms

Anonymous: Yes it feels good but its always messy. No matter how many enemas I do.

Try to slowly adjust the amount of fiber in your diet. If you have a healthy diet with the right amount of fiber, you shouldn’t have much of a mess regardless of enema use. And it’s not uncommon for enemas to cause more of a mess if you go to deep and start moving things along unintentionally. Try just going to the bathroom 30 minutes before and then trying sex or masturbation without an enema, or at most do a very light douching just to flush out the rectum and nothing more.

Otherwise, with a full enema, you have to keep doing it until you’re totally clean, which can take a while sometimes, and isn’t too good to do regularly as it can lead to an imbalance of intestinal flora.

Anonymous: I have two questions! 1. Any tips for wearing a butt plug long term? Any particular ones that are good for long term (8+ hours) wear? 2. What’s the best way to have completely clean anal like porn stars do?

Get one with a t-base or similar that seats comfortably, and no hard/sharp edges, rather than something round-based. There are a lot of good options. The Tantus Ryder is a good small/medium option. As for technique to wear long term, just wear for as long as you can and keep trying to push that a bit longer each time and before you know it you’ll be able to wear it to bed or all day if you want. Carry lube with you in case you need to relubricate throughout the day.

Diet is a major factor for clean anal. Have a generally balanced diet with a healthy amount of fiber and you’ll be naturally pretty clean. Wear a plug before having sex and that will often help you clean out further. Use a small anal douche in the rectum only to flush it out if you feel the need to clean further.

Anonymous: My dominant and I really want to try anal, and I definitely want to explore it, but I have IBS and I’m so scared that I’m going to like have an accident or something… I know it’s unlikely but I worry about it so much. Also about not being completely clean.. I know my dominant wouldn’t care because, you are putting something in an out door, and he’s super understanding but I’m having trouble overcoming my own mental barriers and calming down enough to just do it! Any advice? 🙁

Practice on your own for a while to get more familiar with that part of yourself and what to expect. Yes, a mess might occasionally happen. But it’s not a big deal, and as you gain more experience you’ll see that it’s probably uncommon, not the end of the world if it does happen, and will also be able to better figure out when it might not be the best time to engage in anal play. Try fingering yourself in the shower for a while, experiment with a toy like a butt plug, and as you get more comfortable, try some non-intercourse anal play with your partner as well. Just approach it gradually and you’ll get more comfortable with the idea as you do so. And sometimes you’ll just have to accept that it’s not going to happen right then.

Anonymous: So do you like clean you ass before you have anal sex? Like do you do an enema or do u just fuck? Because I’ve never done an enema before and I’m kinda curious. Btw I love your blog and I LOVEEEEE ANAL ?

Some people do, but for most people, if you have a fairly balanced diet and have gone to the bathroom before, it isn’t necessary. The rectum is generally empty except for right before you need to go to the bathroom. A light anal douching can clean out residue if you feel the need, but deeper enemas often cause more problems unless you want to get into deep anal play and I wouldn’t recommend them unless you’re prepared to spend a while fully cleaning yourself out.