Much of the content on this blog is oriented to women, or those who receive anal sex. But just as important are those who are giving anal sex to their partners—if they aren’t interested in being anal only or feel they still need vaginal sex, it’s hard to make an anal only lifestyle work very well!

In fact, when asked why they haven’t gone anal only women yet, women interested in the lifestyle often answer that if it were up to them, they would, but that their partners still want to have vaginal sex some of the time. Seems surprising, right? The conventional wisdom is that men all want anal sex and that it’s women who don’t, but the reality often is that many women are more open to anal and even to going anal only, but their male partners are more sexually conservative or just think that they’ll miss something or be limited by excluding vaginal as an option.

The reality is that while everyone is different, most people find that after going anal only for a while, they don’t actually miss pussy much. Anal offers all the pleasure and more, combined with increased aesthetic appeal, stronger intimacy, plenty of opportunities for fun variety, and unique benefits like natural birth control. Unlike vaginal, anal is something that gets more fun the more you do it and done right, never gets boring. Anal only couples often talk about how before they went anal only, sex had gotten boring, but now even decades after going anal only, it still has a strong spark that excites them.

Other common concerns include hygiene and the need for preparation before sex. With some simple dietary adjustments and a basic cleaning routine, the former is fairly well mitigated, and preparation can be kept fairly minimal as well with a frequent anal play and sex routine as well as the use of butt plugs. Most such complaints result from having too little anal sex, not from having it more often.

Give it a try for yourself and find out: go anal only for a month or two and commit fully to the experience while you’re in it: you’ll see before long that giving up vaginal sex and going anal only is well worth the initial effort.

Max & Nata: So, my wife and I are both 32, we’ve been married for 4 years, and about a year ago we have arrived to an unspoken arrangement that I only fist her pussy and I only fuck her ass (don’t know if this counts as anal only lol, but we’re both happy with that). She loves being fisted and says it’s the best thing ever – she also loves anal, and we do about 50/50 between these two (we also do oral, spanking etc., but we almost always finish with either anal or fisting, or both).

I’ve lately been trying to talk to her about anal fisting, as it’s something that is interesting to try – but she only said “maybe later” and was pretty elusive about it in general. I think it’s obvious that she’s a bit scared. She also says she doesn’t love fingers up her ass as much as she loves my dick and toys in there, because fingers don’t go as deep as she wants. She has some toys to use up her ass, and she uses buttplugs when I fist her — we recently bought another one that’s bigger than my penis in width.

The question is – should I be persistent with trying anal fisting, or maybe leave it as it is? Obviously I don’t want to do anything that she doesn’t want, but maybe there are some arguments I’m missing that can help convince her to try? Or maybe it’s I who’s missing something and should be happy with what I have?

Also, other thing with that is that she’s worried about is that if we do a lot of anal fisting, her ass can become stretched out and not as tight as it is now (her pussy being loose was one of the reasons we switched to anal only). To be completely honest, this concerns me a bit as well.

So, if you have any tips or comments, or experience to share about anal fisting, we’d be happy and grateful to hear it (she knows about this post and she will read the answer too). Maybe there’s a way we can work towards it without using fingers too much?

Thanks a lot for your blog and for the answer. Sorry if my English is a bit weird, not my primary language.

First of all, “anal only” means a variety of different things for a lot of different people, but the fundamental element is that you don’t have vaginal intercourse and have fully replaced it with anal. There are those who still use toys or other forms of vaginal penetration but who identify as anal only, so I think if being anal only is something that appeals to you, you can consider your arrangement to fit within that definition. I think there can be some additional benefits to going fully anal only for some people, and generally encourage at least trying that too, but everyone is different and different things work for different people.

As for wanting to try anal fisting, it sounds like she’s expressed some of her concerns already. Are those her only hesitations, or does she have others as well?

Not liking fingering as much as sex is not uncommon, but fisting is different from fingering and provides much more of a stretch and can go deeper as well, so I would encourage her to think of them as different things and not to write off anal fisting just because she doesn’t like fingers on their own as much. It’s an entirely different experience.

Fear of stretching and becoming loose is a common concern that isn’t that rooted in reality. Injury can cause muscles to become weaker, but “stretching” anal muscles is actually exercising them and frequent use can help them become stronger. What people equate with being loose is actually an increased elasticity that allows them to expand larger, but they still stay tight and closed when not in use. There may be short term looseness after for a few hours, but things tend to return to normal quickly. And even the increased elasticity is not something that happens overnight, so it’s something that you can start to explore and see how it progresses for the both of you. Chances are you’ll both find that it does not negatively affect your enjoyment of sex at all. Exercises like kegels can also help to further strengthen and “tighten” anal muscles.

But if she’s also just afraid of trying it, why not sit down and talk about it together and discuss her fears and concerns and whether she’s interested despite being afraid and what you can do to help relieve some of those fears. Remind her of how rewarding vaginal fisting ended up being for her and with the pleasure and intensity of anal how great it could end up being as well.

Good luck to the both of you!

Jade: Hi, i never had a man in my life but i want to remain vaginally virgin. I bought a dildo 2 weeks ago to train me anally.

I kinda like it but i’m nowhere near to take true pleasure. Can you give me some advices?

That’s an excellent goal, I highly recommend staying a vaginal virgin and going anal only.

First of all, be patient. If you’ve just started exploring anal two weeks ago, you’re just getting started. Stick with it, and keep practicing and training regularly—every day, if you can. The more you make it your normal routine, the more quickly it will start to become very pleasurable and something you not only enjoy, but start to crave.

How do you ordinarily masturbate and orgasm? Does it involve vaginal penetration, or just clit stimulation? Especially while you’re getting started with anal, including clit stimulation if that’s what you already enjoy is not a bad thing—do it as often as possible, in fact, and try to give yourself as many orgasms as you can while masturbating anally. This helps to build up the association of anal and pleasure and unlocks the pleasures of anal. If, after you start to really enjoy anal on its own, you want to shift away from clit stimulation as well and only focus on anal pleasure, you can do that, but when getting started, combining anal with things you already like can be a good approach.

If your goal from the start is achieving an anal only orgasm, you can look at some of the strategies in our Guide to Anal Orgasms. Also be sure to read through the rest of the Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle for lots of other useful information.

Good luck, and feel free to follow up with more questions!

I had always used lube, and generously, until an evening at a club. I was dancing with a guy and went to the toilet. He burst in on me and we started making out in the stall. He soon had his dick out and spun me around, yanked my skirt down. I started babbling about birth control and he said not to worry, wiped spit on his cock, slid it up and down my arse crack then nudged against my anus. I was surprised at how easily it entered me. The fucking was pretty vigorous and I slumped down until I was leaning prone over the toilet seat while he hammered away. Afterwards I expected to be sore, especially as there was no lube, but there were no bad effects. After that I used less and less lube until pretty soon I had anal with just spit… and that’s the way it’s been ever since.

notnice66, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

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One of the best things that you can do to develop a firm foundation for yourself in the anal only lifestyle, or just to better enjoy anal, is to adopt a daily anal routine. If you’ve had any struggles with discomfort or pain from anal, one of the biggest causes can be going for days or weeks between anal play or sex.

By making the commitment to do daily anal in some form, not only are you making yourself more anal-centric as a result, you also start to immediately benefit from the increased anal activity. Your anal muscles remain more relaxed from frequent use, which makes anal easier as a result, and in turn lets you do it even more frequently. It’s a positive feedback loop that just makes anal consistently better and better.

More anal, not less anal, is what makes anal better and easier. Just like anything else, practice makes perfect.

Planning to go out for Halloween but haven’t settled on the right costume? Pick something that can go with a matching butt plug and you’ll be having so much fun that it won’t really matter what your costume is.

Whether you’re going solo or with a partner, going out or staying in, a butt plug can be added to any costume for an extra special bit of fun. Try it today!

With the climate crisis, political shifts threatening the reliable availability of birth control or abortion to prevent unwanted pregnancy, and financial instability an ongoing concern for many in the younger generations, a stable future is far from guaranteed.

People are waiting longer to have children, knowing they can’t reliably support them, or choosing not to have any at all. In some extreme cases, people are avoiding sex altogether to avoid that risk.

The best solution to this, of course, is not to give up all sex, but to give up vaginal sex. There are many other advantages to going anal only as well, but virtually eliminating the possibility of unwanted pregnancy is a big one.

Sex is no longer primarily a reproductive act—in fact, the vast majority of the time, reproduction has absolutely nothing to do with it. So isn’t it time that we moved away from using the vagina, which is primarily a reproductive organ, towards pure anal, which is superior pleasure and intimacy without the baggage of reproduction.

Ana: I need some advice about the best way to achieve an anal orgasm. I already deny my pussy and clit. But still get really wet. I have a bullet vibrator and a tail plug.

I use some numbing liquids to avoid all clit stimulation.

I want to know if i can get a routine for anal exercise each day of the week, like while i’m on the gym, cleaning my house or driving

If you haven’t already read it, our Guide to Anal Orgasms might contain some useful tips and steps for you to try. It sounds like you’re on the right track, and just need to stick with it, but there might be something useful for you there!

Getting into a daily routine is an excellent idea. I recommend plugging daily for some period of time, and gradually increasing that amount over time. I also recommend a daily routine of more active anal training as well, with a dildo. Passive training with a plug is great and important, but it’s good to not neglect more active training too, as each do different things.

Hi, everyone. My name is Daiane, I’m 25 years old and today marks my Anal Only Lifestyle third anniversary. On October 6th, 2016, I decided to tell my boyfriend at the time I was going to stop having vaginal altogether and switch exclusively to anal sex. Some of the reasons that led me to this decision:

I am one of the unlucky ones who are severely allergic to birth control pills. Doesn’t matter what brand I take or how many doctors I talk to, I will always get severe side effects from taking the pill. They are so bad they would pretty much make me prefer not to have sex.

Men simply do not like using condoms, period. Neither my tinder hookups, neither boyfriends liked the rubber. I would give them extra thin ones I bought myself and they would still not have a good time wearing them.

Before switching to anal sex, I had had two close pregnancy calls and I don’t ever want to go through that again. The first time me and my boyfriend were a bit drunk having sex and only 24 hours after we had sex I noticed the condom had ruptured. The second time I really was irresponsible and didn’t care, but I eventually had my period and everything worked out.

I actually like anal sex. I like the pain that comes with it, I like the taboo, I like the domination aspect of anal sex and I like that my boyfriend likes it.

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So you want to try anal sex. That’s great! Anal play can be lots of fun — if you’re ready for it. Unlike other types of sex, which most people can fumble their way through when they don’t have much experience, anal sex takes some research. (And, to be clear, it’s always better to think and talk through any new sexual experience before you try it with a partner).

But you can’t just slide into anal sex (unless you’re using plenty of lube…but more on that later). If you don’t know what you’re doing and you aren’t careful, you could hurt yourself or your partner because the anus is sensitive. “Contrary to what many believe, anal sex does not have to be painful (unless people engaging in it want it to be),” says Dulcinea Pitagora, a sex therapist known as the Kink Doctor. So before you give anal a try, read our tips about how to prep, both physically and mentally.

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