Anonymous: I’m a girl and i don’t wanna be a boy but I just hate having a pussy. It’s been 5 years since I went anal only but during this períod i touched my clit many times, to avoid touching my clit i avoid getting turned on with pictures and videos. I don’t know what to do anymore i just wish i didn’t have a clit cause i think that someone is only 100% anal only if they dont touch their pussy ever again.

It sounds like you hate your pussy because it tempts you for stimulation and you find it hard to resist, which conflicts with your strong desire to be pure anal only.

I would encourage you to step back and reassess things a little bit. Yes, you have a pussy. Yes, it can cry out for stimulation and beg to be touched sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you need to use it. You have an asshole to play with instead. When you get horny and feel the urge to rub your clit, finger and play with your asshole instead. Do this multiple times a day and over time, your urges will shift away from your clit.

You can also use numbing gels like orajel, tape over your pussy, a chastity belt, backless panties, and a variety of other things to help yourself move away from your clit and towards being fully anal only without clit stimulation.

That said, everyone has their own definition of what it is to be anal only, and for many women, that includes some or even lots of clitoral stimulation. If you really struggle without your clit, maybe being anal only for you should mean no vaginal penetration but the occasional clit stimulation if you need to without feeling guilty about it. Ultimately, it’s up to you.

Don’t hate yourself or who you are or even parts of yourself. Yes, you may choose to be anal only, and that’s a great thing, which means that your pussy isn’t part of sex for you, but it is still a part of your body, and you can choose to love it in its own way, how it’s always empty and unused and shows how horny you are while you ignore it and play with your better hole instead.

An ongoing trend in places like Bdsmlr and other places that dive deep into the fantasies and kinks that surround anal sex is to focus on degradation, pain, and other negatives. While the intent of this isn’t to shame those who enjoy those kinks, I think that the focus on that side of anal can harm its widespread adoption and enjoyment.

Instead, I’d like to talk about one of the best side effects of anal sex and the anal only lifestyle: the bliss and joy and just sheer happiness that one can experience by going anal only. Lots of people enjoy anal sex, but there’s something kind of magical that happens once you make the decision to fully stop using your vagina (and even more so with your clit) for sex and switch to anal penetration only.

Because your body no longer receives any vaginal stimulation, it is able to fully adjust to anal stimulation as its primary pleasure source, and if no longer experiencing any clitoral stimulation either, you no longer have the negative emotional side effects of clit orgasms that many women experience, such as loss of arousal and post-orgasm depression.

This results in a more constant, increased state of arousal that no only makes you more eager for sex more often, it can boost your mood and genuinely make you happier throughout the day as well. Couples who go anal only report not only greater enjoyment of sex, but becoming closer together as a couple and being happier and more satisfied individually.

Anal and the anal only lifestyle are a joyous thing. Sure, if some of the other kinks appeal to you and are something that you enjoy, by all means incorporate them into your life as well, but don’t let them define anal sex for you if they aren’t something you want.

Lately me and my husband are considering having a baby, but I just became fully AO approximately 2 years ago (bc I still needed PIV once in a while). We didn’t want to ruin our progress, it was so hard for me to get to where I am now. I’m afraid if I have vaginal sex I’ll start craving it again or something.

I know all it takes to get pregnant is sperm, there’s no need for PIV, but I’m not sure if it even works. Also we’re looking for ideas to get that sperm in there without doing vaginal, so any suggestions are welcome. If anyone had any experience with this before please let us now. We’d really appreciate it.

Continue reading on /r/analonlylifestyle on Reddit

So I love anal…a lot. Crave it. Was wondering if clit denial will make anal even better? My partner likes the idea of no clit stimulation, says not touching my clit but knowing how badly I want it makes him so hard. Any other guys feel that way?

Several good responses:

For me teasing my clit without cumming makes me desperate for anal and I cum harder from anal with some clit stimulation.

Just one more way to enjoy your partner and your body. Exploring your limits and finding out how many ways you’re body experiencing bliss is just an amazing journey. Teasing the pain/pleasure thread hold open so many great memories.

Continue reading on /r/analonlylifestyle on Reddit

The anal only lifestyle has grown organically over the past decade, starting its organized discussion online with several blogs and growing into the larger community that exists today across multiple platforms, and with many individual anal only people sharing their experiences on their own blogs and other non-anal only communities. Anal only is starting to become less niche and bleed into other groups and see more widespread adoption. Still, if we want it to become far more of the norm and a mainstream thing for the average person to adopt, we still have a long way to go to reach everyone and encourage and guide them towards trying and embracing a life of pure anal sex. Here are some ideas on how you can help!

Post About it Online

There are lots of ways you can share your own experiences and desires about anal sex and the anal only lifestyle, and providing many different voices and perspectives on this across a wide variety of platforms not only helps people in similar situations relate to your story and feel less alone in their own experiences, it ensures that the anal only lifestyle and positive discussion about anal sex reaches a broader audience.

• Join the Anal Only Lifestyle forum, Discord server and subreddit, and talk with other like-minded people
• Share your story or ask questions right here on the Anal Only Lifestyle blog
• Create a blog on Bdsmlr, which has taken over from Tumblr as the premier sex and porn microblogging platform for sharing and expressing and exploring one’s sexuality and kinks, and which has a small but growing anal only community forming
• Start and join discussions about anal sex and the anal only lifestyle on other platforms, including Twitter (here’s a Twitter search that helps find existing discussions about preferring anal or going anal only), Fetlife, HipForums, Reddit, Quora, and any other platform that has discussions about sex and anal. Share your own experiences, and help spread anal positivity and the concept of going anal only and its advantages.

Support Anal Only Porn

There are certain porn producers out there which focus much more on anal porn and produce 100% anal only scenes, at least some of the time. There are also a number of “amateur” content creators who post directly to places like PornHub or ManyVids and produce and sell their own content, often primarily or exclusively anal only. If you’re able, financially support the production of anal only porn by paying for that content and encouraging them to continue focusing on pure anal.

Tell Your Friends

If you’re comfortable talking about sex with your friends, tell them about loving anal and being anal only, and how much you like it and what its benefits are for you, then if they show interest in it, encourage and help them to go anal only too. Provide them with resources like our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle, dispel any concerns they have, and give them any advice of your own that you have on enjoying anal and the process of first going anal only. Challenge them to try it for a month or two, whether as part of Anal Only April or No Pussy November each year, or just on their own, and support them during that challenge period so they have the best possible experience and will want to stick with it afterwards.

Be Open When Dating About Only Doing Anal

If you’re single and dating, be sure to be honest with new partners about your anal only status or interest and that you aren’t interested in having vaginal sex, only anal. It may eliminate some uninterested potential partners, but it’s worth talking about it early on so that you figure out if you’re compatible before ending up in a relationship and being sexually frustrated the whole time.

If you’re hooking up with someone, tell them right up front that you only do anal. If you’re trying to date for a long term relationship, hold off to talk about anal only until you would normally start talking about sex, and get to know them as a person a bit first. But make it an early part of your sexual conversation.

Support the Anal Only Lifestyle Community

A large part of the Anal Only Lifestyle community online is managed by just one person, yours truly, and it takes quite a bit of time and effort (and some money, too) to keep things all running and updated with fresh content for everyone to enjoy and be inspired by.

• This blog posts every one to two days, depending on my time and availability, and the availability of content. In addition to writing original posts once a week, I answer people’s submitted questions and shared stories, and search the internet for other interesting anal and anal only-related content to share. It can be hard to find enough content to fill the space sometimes, especially during periods when not many people are submitting their own stories and questions to share on the blog, so this can be time consuming.
• I run multiple anal only blogs on Bdsmlr, after transferring all said blogs off Tumblr. These blogs post between 1 and 6 times a day, and I keep their queues filled with original and reblogged content and captions to inspire and arouse people, with varying anal only-related themes.
• I maintain and moderate the Anal Only Lifestyle forum, Discord server, and subreddit. We also have a small team of other moderators on the forum and Discord who are a great help.

I also have a full time job that often requires me to be unavailable and offline for extended lengths of time, so content on the blogs—this one included—are queued up in advance so that the schedule continues uninterrupted for everyone to keep reading and then I update and shuffle things around to answer people’s questions more quickly rather than simply adding onto the end of the queue when I’m able while away for work.

As such, if you’re able to help in one of various ways, your support is greatly appreciated.

• You can buy the Amazon ebook version of our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle and help support us financially with a simple purchase that provides you with a nice reference with a lot of useful information about having anal sex and going anal only.
• You can join our Patreon and provide a small monthly financial contribution to support the continuing development of this community and ongoing creation and sharing of content for your enjoyment and that of others.
• You can share interesting articles, posts, and discussions that you find online, ask questions to be answered publicly on this blog, write guest articles, or otherwise help provide content to be added to the blog queue, through our Ask and Submit page.

Thanks to everyone for reading, sharing, and helping support the anal only lifestyle in whatever way you’re able.

This message was sent to the Anal Only Bdsmlr porn blog, and is being cross-posted here.

Anonymous: Starting out my sex life, if one would like to really be anal only. You think it would be creepy for a young girl to ask a boy for anal the first time? Or exlpain she only wants to do it if it’s anally? Just being aware that it’s not common enough yet, but really wanted to keep it anal only

Not at all. If anal only is what you want, tell that to someone if you’re going to have sex with them. If they don’t respect that, then you shouldn’t be having sex with them anyway.

Now, you may not want to just say it right away if you just met them. Get to know them, and when you’re ready to have sex, bring it up and start talking about it.

Tell him that you want to be anal only and not do vaginal sex, and chances are he’ll love it.

K: For what reason would one go anal only?

There are lots of reasons why, and different people do it for different reasons!

• Anal is more pleasurable. Done correctly, many people find anal to be more enjoyable than vaginal sex, and if they prefer it, it makes sense to want to focus primarily or exclusively on it, especially if vaginal isn’t very good in comparison.
• Anal is more intimate. It can require more trust and communication, and it’s a more private and sensitive part of a woman’s body, so having anal sex leads to increased intimacy, and the act of going anal only builds that intimacy even more and can be great for a relationship.
• Anal is natural birth control, and if you don’t have other forms of birth control available, or don’t want to pay for them, or have negative side effects from them, going anal only makes a lot of sense as a free, natural way to have sex without getting pregnant.
• It can be a fun, sexy secret to know that you only do anal sex and vaginal is off the table. Lots of people think this is a real turn on, and makes them feel sexy, dirty, slutty, or whatever appeals to them.
• For those in a dom/sub relationship, it can be another way to work within that dynamic, as many women find that anal sex makes them feel more feminine and submissive, and going anal only can be a great act of submission to their partner. However, for those who aren’t into this, enjoying anal doesn’t inherently make one submissive. It just taps into the sort of things that submissive people already enjoy.

There are many more reasons, and this blog has many existing articles on the topic as well! Here’s one classic post on the topic to get you started with additional reading.

This message was sent to the Anal Only Bdsmlr porn blog, and is being cross-posted here.

Anonymous: I’ve loved your blog for a long time, and I am glad that you’re active on Bdsmlr again like you were on Tumblr! I’ve reached out to you there before, a few years ago, but your blog inspired me and my boyfriend to go anal only way back in 2015. We’ve stayed anal only successfully since then and when we got married a couple years ago we vowed to be anal only together as part of it. We’re thinking about having kids now, and we’re going to try out non-vaginal ways of getting pregnant first, but it also seems like you’re okay with vaginal sex to get pregnant, is that right?

Very good to hear an update from you! I’m glad that the old readership is moving over to Bdsmlr and following along here as well, and that the community on Bdsmlr is growing more!

It’s great to hear that your anal only relationship has been so successful for the both of you and that you’re still committed to it 5 years later!

Vaginal sex for getting pregnant is definitely consistent with the anal only lifestyle if that’s the route that you want to take. However, as you yourself note, often once people have gone years without vaginal sex, they don’t want to go back to it even just for the purpose of getting pregnant. So it definitely makes sense to try non-vaginal means of getting pregnant first, if that’s important to you!

I’d suggest exploring having him ejaculate in your ass and then push it out while spreading your pussy so that it runs down and back into your vagina. Alternatively, he can pull out at the last minute while you’re spreading open your vagina and he can aim into your vagina. If you try those for a few months with no success, you could also try something like a turkey baster or syringe (without a needle) to suck up his semen after you push it out of your ass and then get it into you vagina with more force to get it deeper inside of you.

Good luck, and please keep us posted on how things go!

A common concern by those getting started with anal sex is that it’s going to hurt. Whether you’ve had a bad experience before, have heard from friends about bad experiences they had, or used to enjoy anal but are now having trouble with pain, this advice will help you enjoy the pure pleasure of anal that you deserve—without pain!

Anal Should Never Hurt

First, let’s get this point across: if anal hurts, that’s a good sign that something is wrong. You aren’t warmed up enough. You aren’t using enough lube. You’re going too fast, too deep, or too big too soon. You should stop and reassess things immediately to avoid injuring yourself.

Start Small and Slow

If you’re new to anal, you can’t just start having anal sex, you need to start small and work your way up over time to the size, depth and speed of anal sex. For more information on this process, see our guide to anal training.

But even if you’re more experienced with it, and you’ve had anal sex quite a lot, you might find it hurting if it’s been a little while when you go to put it in. If you don’t take the time to warm up first and jump right to a bigger toy or a penis, and it hurts, that can tell you that you need to slow down and do a little more preparation first. Do some rimming and fingering. Put in a small butt plug and play another way for a bit. Use a smaller dildo. Once you feel relaxed and comfortable and things are not hurting, try it again.

Even someone who is very experienced can benefit from doing this if it’s been a while and they’ve tightened back up. It will take less time to get back into things, but you may want to take a day or two to transition back up to the sizes you’re used to if you haven’t been playing for a few weeks. It can be easy to think that you’ve mastered everything and don’t need any small toys anymore, and when you try to go to put in your favorite toy after some time off, you can be surprised by a sudden sharp pain. Take the relatively small amount of time to do some gentle anal massage and warmup to relax and open up first and avoid that setback.

Take the Time to Heal

If you end up with a small tear, bleeding, or other injury in association with pain, make sure you take a few days to heal before trying again. Anal injuries can heal well, but if you continue to irritate them they can take much longer to heal or even become chronic. Larger injuries can develop into scar tissue that remains painful or tears more easily in the future, so it’s really important to be patient with your body and take the steps needed to not injure yourself.

Perform proper after care, use aloe vera or lotion around your anus to help it heal, and your ass will repay you with a lifetime of pleasure and wonderful anal sex.

Christy: What is your opinion on ‘painal?’ I am currently single, and because of social isolation orders and the virus I have been masturbating anal only for five weeks, to kick off my anal only journey. I have found the only way I can orgasm from anal is if I have a plug or toy in that is (probably) too big for me, if it leaves me sobbing from pain and burns the entire time I have it in/play with myself. Is this unsafe? I’m making sure to use plenty of lube and would stop if I thought I had injured myself.

Ultimately, you have to listen to your body and determine whether you think it’s causing harm or not. It’s a little bit of a gray area, but I believe there is a fine line you can ride where there is intentional pain but it’s not causing injury. This would be the same sort of stretching that might cause pain when doing yoga or warmup stretches before exercise—it can be painful, but isn’t harmful.

If there’s more of a sharp pain, or it leaves you particularly sore for days, or feeling raw afterwards, or if you encounter bleeding, then you’re probably going too far with it, but otherwise you’re probably fine. What you want to avoid are tears/fissures and muscle injuries.