Anonymous: Here’s a question I’d be curious to see answered – What are some fun ways to incorporate anal training into your regular sex routine? I want to find ways to bring in some anal training that feel fun and exciting for my wife (rather than feeling like it’s a chore or getting bored during prolonged foreplay).

We already do some butt play regularly, but we are looking to building up to regular penetrative anal sex. We’re not totally new to anal sex, but it’s been quite a while since we’ve done it. We’re already pretty familiar with fingering, rimming and small plugs.

I’m thinking the best way to go about it is to increase our use of butt plugs and gradually increase the size. Is there a good way to do this without it feeling too clinical? Or maybe a way to make the process feel a bit sexier?

Thank you!

Ps. I really appreciate all the work you put into this blog!

Using butt plugs is a great option, and jeweled plugs can can be beneficial in that they both provide some level of training and have aesthetic appeal as well for many people, making them like a form of sexy jewelry that can be worn before and during other sexual activity.

Incorporating rimming and fingering as a regular part of foreplay even when you aren’t going to have anal sex can also be a great way of normalizing it and making it frequent.

By doing it regularly even when you don’t proceed to anal sex afterwards, it helps with training by keeping it a frequent activity, and makes it so that once you do start anal sex again, she’s already more used to it and partially warmed up from having done anal play regularly at a lower level.

I am new here and in this lifestyle, I chose this path about nine months ago, which have been the best days and the best decisions of my life.
I chose to be AO because my life got boring and monotonous just with vaginal penetration.
The boys of my country are a bit prejudiced regarding this issue, so as you know I have not yet had a boy who has penetrated me anally.
Also my biggest concern has always been pregnancies, I already have a child and I don’t want to have more babies.
I have been single for many months, precisely for this reason of having sex and getting pregnant, contraceptive methods are not safe, that is how I am entering this lifestyle.
For a few months after I broke up with my boyfriend I was masturbating vaginally but it was very boring, so I took the initiative to practice anal masturbation.
I searched many pages, on Twitter I found Anal Only Style Life which has been a good advisor and guide for my process.
I bought a plug, a dildo and a lubricant, daily I massaged my anus with my fingers until I managed to dilate it and I was able to insert the plug.
During the nights I slept with my anal plug on, over the days I was able to change my plug for the dildo, it has been a good therapy for anal dilation.
With this experience I convinced myself that it is a beneficial lifestyle, it is the best contraceptive and much more pleasant than my pussy.
I am currently in the process of masturbating to reach anal orgasm without the help of the clitoris, I am also aspiring to be an anal queen, I am very enthusiastic about this.
I am very proud of what I have accomplished.
I must emphasize that in only anal I will remain and that there is no going back.
Once anal, always anal!

JuneSweetyHot, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

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Last year, sexual-health experts named anal pleasure the next great frontier sexual exploration. And while it’s great that many folks are familiar with (or getting familiar with) tricks and toys to enjoy rimming, plugging, and pegging, that’s hardly the edge of what butt stuff has to offer. Enter: anal fingering, which involves using a finger (or two or five) to penetrate, thrust into, or apply pressure to the anus for the sake of pleasure. According to certified sex educator Alicia Sinclair, CEO of anal-play-product company B-Vibe, the anus is rich with nerve endings, and stimulating them can be pleasurable. (Some folks even have anal orgasms.)

As far as benefits from from trying anal fingering, the most obvious is that you already have the tools you need in order to get started, well, on hand. Furthermore, anal fingering is an incredibly intimate experience. “When one partner fingers another, both partners get to enjoy the tactile sensation and sensuous of that experience,” says Sinclair—and the same isn’t necessarily true when a dildo, string of anal beads, or dildo is used. Now for the fun part: The anal fingering guide you need in order to start enjoying.

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In response to a question about anal looseness from going anal only:

My wife and I have been having anal sex for nearly 30 years, anal only for the past 14. Until recently she has had no issues whatsoever. Recently, she felt like she was too loose when really into it. In all honesty, I didn’t notice a difference. Performing ass to mouth when this happened seemed to help, as it removed some lubricant and allowed her ass a minute to reset, but she didn’t feel like it made enough of a difference. So, she began wearing a small glass plug with a very gradual taper for a couple hours a day. This, coupled with silicone lubricant, required her to squeeze it to keep it from coming out while going about her activities. Within a couple of weeks, we noticed a real difference. She didn’t feel she was too loose, and I felt like she had more control to squeeze me (she never felt loose to me anyway). When we really noticed it was when she orgasmed, her sphincter would squeeze and release and squeeze and release me.

So, as a couple who have probably had anal sex approaching 8000 times, from my best estimation, I can say it probably isn’t a concern. However, if it should occur, a little “light exercise” will tighten things back up again in no time.

LuvMyWifesAss, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Continue reading on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Ann: I will be doing No Pussy November with my husband, and our goal is to not have vaginal sex or for me to have any clit stimulation. We want to use this month to try it and see if we can make it work full time, and if we can, we plan to stay anal only.

We both prefer anal but have continued doing vaginal at times when anal has been harder to do or required more work and we were lazy and we want to stop accepting that as an excuse.

Glad to hear that you’re taking part! I hope that you have a great time with it and are able to establish an anal only routine that keeps you from feeling the need to return to vaginal sex.

Frequent plug wear, a good diet/hygiene routine, and having anal sex regularly can very much minimize most needs for preparation, and makes anal only a lot more feasible.

It’s here! A month of pure anal only sex and your opportunity to challenge yourself to see what it’s all about or to try new things related to the anal only lifestyle.

After eight years in a row, No Pussy November still remains our flagship month each year to celebrate anal sex, the anal only lifestyle, and to encourage new people who aren’t yet anal only to challenge themselves to trying it for a solid month and seeing what it’s like.

If you’re new to the anal only lifestyle and you want to give it a try, this is a great time and way to do it! Talk with your partner now in advance of November and make sure you’re both on board with the idea, or if you’re single and want to try it with toys, get yourself to the point where you’re comfortable with anal masturbation on a regular basis—at least 3 to 5 times a week, if not every day.

If you’re already anal only, there are plenty of other things that you can try as a No Pussy November challenge this year!

• If you still use clitoral stimulation, you can challenge yourself to stop and focus purely on anal pleasure and anal orgasms. The more you go without your clit and rely on anal only to orgasm, the easier anal orgasms get!
• If you aren’t wearing a butt plug regularly, you can challenge yourself to wear one at some increased interval, or to spend the entire month plugged as often as possible. If you want to reach the latter goal but aren’t quite there yet, you could work yourself up to that point over the course of the month.
• You can challenge yourself to make ass to mouth a regular part of your sex life, normalizing it by doing it every time you have sex this November.
• You can start to introduce double anal to your sex life, either through play with two dildos, a partner and a dildo, or two partners.

Along the lines of that latter idea, for those who are particularly interested or experienced with double anal, we’re introducing an official advanced challenge this year: Double Anal Only November, where those who want to or are able to masturbate regularly with two dildos in their ass or have double anal sex regularly spend the entire month only having double anal sex every time they have sex. Naturally, this is going to be somewhat limited to people who have multiple partners who want to have double anal with them, but you can also participate by always using a toy along with their partner to achieve double anal, or by masturbating with a minimum of two toys in your ass at a time.

What are your plans? Let us know!

A recent comment on our Discord server sparked an interesting topic on one reason that vaginal gets old but anal never does.

BackDoorBeth: The biggest difference I have noticed to with Vaginal and Anal too is that with vaginal. It can get stale after awhile. Anal is more of a challenge to keep stretching your hole and making it better and better.

This is a very true observation—with anal, the muscles have a natural inclination to tighten and close back up, so by having anal sex regularly you’re constantly up against the challenge of loosening and relaxing the muscles, which keeps you more actively engaged in sex. Vaginal, by contrast, is “easier” and so quickly can become boring.

Being invested in something often makes it more rewarding, and that’s part of why the anal only lifestyle can feel so much more than vaginal. There’s a lot more to it than that, of course, but that fundamental feeling of pride and joy in your expression and enjoyment of anal sexuality, and in your growth through additional training and improving your anal skills clearly comes from this dynamic.

What have your own experiences been in this regard?

CharlesO: Hey man, I want to thank you for all the information on this page, it really helped my girlfriend and me start doing anal regularly and now she’s agreed to try going anal only too starting this month, which is a real dream come true for me. I hope she loves it and we can stay anal only, fingers crossed! We’re going to try it until the end of the year for now.

The thing that really made it click for her was when I started rimming her every time we did anything sexual, and especially before any anal play. She loves how it feels and it drives her wild, makes her pussy drip, and she says she can feel it relax her, not just her asshole but her whole body. By the time I’m done she usually begs me to fuck her in the ass and it goes in really easily and doesn’t hurt her at all. And that was a big difference from before when she was agreeing to do it but it took more preparation and she would hurt and get sore and want to wait weeks between sometimes. Now we do it every day and she’s asking me for it instead of the other way around!

Glad that they were helpful for the two of you! I’ve been a strong proponent for education before anal in order to maximize enjoyment for everyone and ensure a lasting love of anal.

Thanks for sharing your experiences with rimming—that’s been my experience as well, and I highly recommend it for everyone looking to start having anal sex with their partner. Focus on her enjoyment through rimming and external play first and make her want more, and she’ll be much more eager to have anal sex.

Good luck with your anal only trial! It sounds like she’s going to love it and with any luck will want to stay fully anal only after the end of the year!

I see this question come up a lot, as people discover that they really enjoy anal but then worry that they can’t have it as often as they would like to. This is one of those things that keeps a lot of people from going anal only, because they feel the need to take time off between having anal sex and do vaginal in between to make up for it.

The reality is that there’s not really any such thing as too much anal sex, and it all depends on you and your body and how much you can handle at a given time.

If you’re getting sore after anal sex every time you do it and need to rest between having sex again, you’re on the edge of what’s right for you at that time. You should find a balance and frequency that just slightly pushes your limits and stick with that for a few weeks to a month, and then gradually start increasing the frequency. If you can do it twice a week at first, try going to three times a week after a while, and so on from there.

If you aren’t getting sore or noticing any problems, then you aren’t doing it too much and it’s perfectly fine for you, and could probably do it more often if you wanted to!

Ultimately, the more frequently you have anal sex, the easier it is to have anal sex frequently, because it helps keep your anal muscles in good shape and ready to have sex. Think of it like exercising, if you work out infrequently, you get sore and are in pain and struggle every time you do it, but if you establish an exercise routine and stick to it regularly, it gets much easier and more enjoyable. The same is true for anal sex.

I’ve long recommended the use of butt plugs to aid in the anal training process, and they really are one of the best ways to practice, train and warm up before sex.

Many people, however, are uncomfortable with the idea of wearing them all day at work or in public, or have a job or lifestyle that makes it difficult to do so. Fortunately, there’s a great option anyone can enjoy to make long term plug wear possible and to enjoy the benefits!

Putting in a plug before you go to bed and wearing it overnight can give you many hours of passive anal training each day without interfering with your daily life and routine.

Overnight plug wear passively trains your ass

When you’re wearing a plug during the day, it can be very stimulating and for a lot of people that’s part of the appeal, but it can also be distracting and interfere with other parts of daily life for some people.

By wearing a plug overnight instead, it’s more of a passively pleasant feeling. It can be distracting for some people at first, but with a little practice, it provides an easy 6 to 8 hours per day of anal training where you don’t need to do anything but slip your plug in and go to sleep. Keep up that routine, and you’ll be having anal sex regularly and easily!

Better relaxation and sleep can result from overnight plug wear

Once you get past the newness of having your ass plugged while you sleep, it’s common to wake up feeling more refreshed and relaxed than before and getting better sleep. This may seem counterintuitive to those who are just starting and feel overstimulated with the plug in and may even find it hard to get to sleep the first time or two, but once you get comfortable with it in, it becomes very relaxing!

This pairs nicely with the natural relaxation of the body that most people experience when sleeping, and as their anal muscles relax along with that, it helps the plug hold them open comfortably and train them into becoming more elastic and easy to stretch open for sex and more active forms of masturbation.

Overnight plug wear is one of the easiest ways to establish an anal routine

One of the most important things for enjoying anal long term or becoming anal only is establishing a consistent routine so that your ass stays warmed up and ready for sex rather than waiting long amounts of time between sex or masturbation each time and needing to start over to open yourself back up and getting sore every time.

As you get a little more experienced with wearing a plug to bed, start doing it every night, and you’ll have your very own routine to stay warmed up and limber and ready for sex or masturbation as often as you want.

Ease into overnight plug wear

If you’re new to long term butt plug wear, you may not immediately be able to wear a plug all night long the first time you try it. Put it in, go to sleep, and see how it goes. If it gets uncomfortable sometime in the night, take it out and see if it needs more lube added. If it stays uncomfortable, leave it out the rest of the night and try again the next night. After a few nights of this, you should notice that you can wear it for longer amounts of time.

Similarly, you may find that certain types of plugs are more comfortable than others for overnight wear. High quality silicone, metal and glass tend to be the best. Cheaper silicone and other soft materials that need water-based lube can often dry out overnight and need more lube. But try it for yourself and see how it goes!