Anonymous: How does it make you feel knowing that a lot of girls still won’t do anal?

Sad that they’re missing out on something amazing. That’s partly why I do my part to correct the common negative portrayal of it as something degrading, painful, and done only for men to enjoy.

The fact is, there are a lot of women who do love anal and get a lot of pleasure from it. In my experience, most who won’t do it have either had bad experiences with it in the past thanks to partners who didn’t know what they were doing, or heard stories of such. So education and widely available information on how to enjoy it and try it at their own pace can be very beneficial to encourage more people to try it.

Anonymous: You are trying to make sodomy look like a great thing when it’s really an abuse towards women… this is an evil thing what you’re promoting, pure evil, but… why do you promote this?

What makes you think anal sex is abusive towards women or evil? Forcing it, or any other sort of sex, on someone would be abusive and evil, but you seem to fail to recognize the fact that this isn’t just something only men want—many women really like anal sex too and get a lot of pleasure from it—often with more powerful orgasms than from vaginal. I fear you are grossly misinformed.

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following responses.

sa8216: Women have 3 times the nerve ending in their ass as the do their vagina. If you have a good partner that knows how to make you feel comfortable it can be an amazing orgasm. I have converted a few girlfriends that turned out to love it once they realized i wasn’t going to rush anything

phoenixandy: Towards women? Errr hello, how do you think gay guys have sex?

hiroshi-tea: Wow, what got up anon’s asshole?

pinklioness7: Someone needs to get laid….

dumbandpretty: Looks like I’m going to live out a few fantasies this evening. I’m scared as fuck, but the bath is running – scalding water, bubble bath – and I’ve got my razor, my enema kit, a whole boatload of newly purchased shoes and lingerie. I know I’ll be prepared physically, but will I be ready mentally?

Only time will tell…

Anonymous: I’ve been trying to get my bf to fuck my ass. I want his dick in my ass so bad, and he says he wants to try it but never will. He always has some excuse or says idk how anything could be better than vaginal. I don’t want to give up on us having anal but I feel like its my only option

I can’t speak for him, but he might have one of several hangups keeping him from trying it—concern it might hurt you or a misconception that you only want to do it for him, worrying about the cleanliness of it, the silly misconception some guys suffer from that anal with a girl might “make him gay”, or just a general fear of the unknown.

If you haven’t already, start masturbating anally more regularly to prepare yourself and get more familiar and experienced with anal stimulation and penetration. Get a nice butt plug if you don’t have one and wear it sometimes, maybe even when you have sex with him—whether you leave it in during vaginal or just during foreplay/oral. Let him see that you want it and really enjoy it for yourself.

And then, most importantly, keep talking with him. Express your desires, tell him you really want to share this with him. If he has any hesitations, figure them out together and try to work through them. Ultimately, if he isn’t actually interested in anal, it might never happen with him, but it sounds like he is interested and something else is just getting in the way for him.

If all else fails, you can always bend over in front of him with a plug in your ass, pull it out, and tell him to put his dick in your butt.

Anonymous: Hi. I’m a 20yo French man, and I’m with my beautiful, lovely girlfriend since more than two months (sorry for my english). I love anal sex so much, and always loved it, but she can’t cum by being fucked anally. And I would like to make her cum this way, and “convert” her to anal only, cus I love it so freaking much, but she just like “appreciate” it, she’s doing it for my pleasure and I don’t like it.. How could I do ?

Does she actually enjoy anal and just not cum from it directly? A lot of women can’t cum from just anal (just as most can’t cum from just vaginal) but still love and enjoy it, so those are two separate issues. If she doesn’t really enjoy it and is just doing it for your pleasure, it sounds like you need to work together to help her really enjoy it and work towards making her cum frequently while receiving anal penetration, rather than the more difficult initial goal of cumming from anal penetration. Finger her ass or use a butt plug on her while eating her pussy or rubbing her clit. Use a vibrator on her during anal sex. And so on. Clit denial can be a lot of fun and great for a lot of people, but you’ve got to already enjoy anal on its own before you can really try that, and the most common way to do that is to associate anal with existing sources of pleasure—the clit being the obvious answer.

The original poster responded:

Wow, you answered pretty fast! 🙂 It’s not that she dislik anal sex, but just enjoy it a little bit. And i try to touch or finger her ass while we’re having “normal” sex, but most of time she doesn’t want, cus she’s always scared by being dirty… And i don”t want to force her at anything, i want her to enjoy it as much as i do. I love her, and her pleasure is my pleasure.

So it sounds like she does enjoy it but there’s a phobia about its cleanliness which interferes with her full enjoyment sometimes. The fact is that unless she has to go to the bathroom right then, her rectum is generally going to be empty and quite clean, especially if she has a balanced diet with a healthy amount of fiber. Perhaps through positive reinforcement and talking about how much you love her ass and how much it turns you on to play with her ass and talking with her about her fears of cleanliness you can gradually open her up to… letting you open her up, as it were.

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following response.

disobedient-kitkat: Please don’t force her. I’m so so glad you aren’t pushing her. I suffer from cleanliness ocd, and i figure the only way I can engage comfortably in anal play is if there is a barrier between the finger/penis and the rectum, such as a glove or condom. Toys or objects used for ass play I would also avoid using orally. Its obviously no where near ideal, and I wish I wouldn’t have to worry about such things, but maybe talk to her about options like this…? Even if my rectum is clean and I’ve used an enema for extra certainty, I’m unable to avoid this paranoia. If she’s similar then maybe she has some loopholes like I mentioned that might work for you guys.

Anonymous: Hi I’m a guy who have a relationship with a girl for more than 3 year. When we start dating she never tried anal before so I tried anal with her and she liked so much. There was a lot of anal sex even anal only weeks. we move together about 5 months since then she don’t want to have anal anymore even don’t let me touch her ass. I really want to break with her what should I do?

Talk to her. Ask her why she doesn’t want to have anything to do with anal anymore when she seemed to really enjoy it at first. Communication is usually the first and most important step in any of these situations.

Anonymous: Anal Only September girl going to class wearing a butt plug for the first time today (because I crave my ass filled all the time these days…)! How exciting… should make a boring lecture far more entertaining!

That’s great! Hope it went well! I think you’ll find that craving will grow even more the more you plug your ass—fortunately, it’s a craving that’s easily satisfied and far better for you than many cravings!

Anonymous: Hi, i’m a virgin, because was saving myself till marriage. I’m already 38 years old and still single. I start to hate myself the world and etc. Actually i don’t expect getting married, at least any time soon, so there’s no point of not having sex. Also i having regular sex with some random guy would be so boring and first time painful, because i still have a hymen. I’m considering to become sexual freak or smth. Maybe I should be AO? Any suggestions?

If you no longer have a strong reason to continue retaining your virginity, then yes, you might consider starting to have sex. I personally don’t subscribe to the whole “saving yourself for marriage” concept, but I recognize that it’s important to some people and is obviously each person’s choice. I do think sex is a fun and important thing in life and something people should make the most of and enjoy, so if you’re at a point in life now where you want to enjoy it, then I would suggest you do so.

Anal and vaginal both have the potential to be painful or at least uncomfortable when you first experience them, though neither have to be. If you do decide to retain your vaginal virginity and become anal only, I would strongly suggest exploring that part of your body on your own first if you haven’t already, and learning how to enjoy anal penetration and stimulation, so that when you first try anal with a partner, you’re ready and will be able to enjoy it. Have you tried masturbating anally? Do you know whether you enjoy it?

If you’d like further advice or to continue conversation on this topic, you can either reply with another anonymous ask, contact me via tumblr’s messenger, or join the Anal Only Lifestyle Forum or Discord server to chat with a group of people. (The forum has a few active members who are anal only vaginal virgins and may be able to provide you a perspective closest to your own.)

Anonymous: Week 3 of Anal Only September and honestly, I’m going another month. At least… 😉

I’m not surprised, but I am thrilled to hear it’s going so well for you. When someone does an anal only month as a personal challenge or to try something new sexually (as opposed to it being, say, a punishment or something in a D/s context) I find a majority want to keep going after.

I think the reasons for this are twofold—general enjoyment of being anal only, the thrill of succeeding at their challenge, and not wanting it to end; and the fact that they’ve been having regular anal sex makes it a lot easier in general to do anal, the more frequently you’re getting it up the butt, the better it feels and the less warmup and preparation you need each time.

Enjoy! (I know you will.)

Anonymous: How can i gape my ass hole

With lots of practice. Masturbate anally, have anal sex, and wear butt plugs often. The more you do, the more you’ll increase the range your ass can easily expand, and train your anal muscles to relax more easily. Then, after working up in size, push out to relax your muscles while spreading your ass, and you should start to gape.