Hi, your post about “The Many Roads Leading to the Anal Only Lifestyle” is very true, I myself belong to two categories. I got into anal to stay a virgin until marriage, but then I fell in love with my sex friend. When we started talking about marriage, I told him about having vaginal sex after we’re husband and wife, but he didn’t want to hear about it – he’s actually not even into clitoral stimulation, even if he loves lengthily licking my asshole.

We argued about it for a few weeks, but then I noticed he was more and more dominant in bed. In fact, he’s always believed I was anal only because I liked it, and the idea anal was “forced” on me while I really wanted vaginal and clitoral sex obviously turned him on, especially since I’m still a virgin… Somehow, this misunderstanding made him much more passionate, sex got really hotter, and he also became more caring and protective with me.

The situation started to please and turn me on a lot, too. That was six months ago (I actually wrote to you about it in June), we got married in August. I’m still a vaginal virgin, obviously we’re still an anal only couple, and we’re also a dominant/submissive couple, mostly in bed but also partly in life. It’s crazy, because I got into anal to save my virginity for my husband so my marriage gets as perfect and romantic as possible, and it’s somehow what happened, but not how I had imagined.

Thanks so much for the followup submission. Congratulations on getting married, and I’m so glad everything worked out so well and in a mutually satisfactory way for the both of you. It sounds like you made the right decision to stay anal only!

Anonymous: Have you thought about staying a virgin ? Of course you could be a cumslut, but only your ass and mouth would be used.

virgin-cumslut: I have actually thought about being anal only. The idea seems hot plus I love have my ass stuffed 😉

Anonymous: I’m 18, have a bf and like buttsex (I’m AO while not getting married), but I don’t know how to be sexy or use my anal abilities to make him happy cause I’m not soooo into assfucking. I don’t feel that “fire” in my butt and my brain stills considering my pussy as my primary sex organ. I feel terrible for cannot be like the buttgirls that I watch in your blog. Please, help me! I wanna be a buttslut, but my brain do not accept it! There is any hypno video ou technique that I could use? (I’m BR)

I don’t have any hypno videos or anything of that nature to help you, but I can offer you some advice and suggestions.

Do you masturbate anal only as well? If not, and if you masturbate vaginally, that is likely a contributing factor to why you feel a disconnect between your ass being your primary sex organ like you want, because you would still be using your vagina sexually. I would suggest masturbating anally at least daily, and no longer masturbating without something in your ass at the same time. This not only puts the focus on your ass where it belongs, but combining something like clitoral stimulation with anal stimulation on a regular basis really helps further associate the feeling of anal penetration with pleasure and can make it a lot more enjoyable for you.

Also, I would suggest no longer thinking of yourself as anal only until marriage—the fact that you phrase it that way puts an end point on being AO and still keeps the priority on your pussy as your primary sex organ, just not right now, and that may be contributing as well to why you have a hard time mentally thinking of your ass being the primary focus for you sexually. Even if you might end up being open to vaginal sex with a future husband, there’s no need to be concerned about that now if anal only is what you are now, and you want to get more deeply into it. Just identify as anal only.

Wearing a butt plug regularly is not only good to keep your ass in good shape and warmed up for sex, but it also helps draw your attention to your asshole throughout the time you’re wearing it, so you think about it more instead of your pussy.

This contradicts the above advice to masturbate regularly with your clit and anal penetration, but you might also consider stopping all clitoral stimulation as well as vaginal. This will boost your arousal, make you hornier, and any time the urge gets too great and you feel like you can’t resist, rub and finger and dildo your ass instead of rubbing your clit. Over time, this can further redirect and reassociate your pleasure centers and your urges anally instead of clitorally and vaginally, and it can also unlock much more intense anal pleasure and anal only orgasms. See this recent submission to the Anal Only Lifestyle blog for a reader’s firsthand account on the topic. If you already enjoy anal anal only, I definitely encourage trying a period of time without clit stimulation too. A lot of women become extremely dependent on their clit for all pleasure, and it can hide and prevent a lot of other sorts of pleasure and more intense anal only orgasms that can occur.

onlyoneentry: When your teacher asks what your hobbies are, and you have to resist the urge of saying ‘taking it up the ass’ ?

Anonymous: Hi, i’m a virgin, because was saving myself till marriage. I’m already 38 years old and still single. I start to hate myself the world and etc. Actually i don’t expect getting married, at least any time soon, so there’s no point of not having sex. Also i having regular sex with some random guy would be so boring and first time painful, because i still have a hymen. I’m considering to become sexual freak or smth. Maybe I should be AO? Any suggestions?

If you no longer have a strong reason to continue retaining your virginity, then yes, you might consider starting to have sex. I personally don’t subscribe to the whole “saving yourself for marriage” concept, but I recognize that it’s important to some people and is obviously each person’s choice. I do think sex is a fun and important thing in life and something people should make the most of and enjoy, so if you’re at a point in life now where you want to enjoy it, then I would suggest you do so.

Anal and vaginal both have the potential to be painful or at least uncomfortable when you first experience them, though neither have to be. If you do decide to retain your vaginal virginity and become anal only, I would strongly suggest exploring that part of your body on your own first if you haven’t already, and learning how to enjoy anal penetration and stimulation, so that when you first try anal with a partner, you’re ready and will be able to enjoy it. Have you tried masturbating anally? Do you know whether you enjoy it?

If you’d like further advice or to continue conversation on this topic, you can either reply with another anonymous ask, contact me via tumblr’s messenger, or join the Anal Only Lifestyle Forum or Discord server to chat with a group of people. (The forum has a few active members who are anal only vaginal virgins and may be able to provide you a perspective closest to your own.)

Hey everybody, my name is Amy. I recently stumbled across your site and find it very refreshing. 🙂 I am 19 yo female. I have been sexually active for about 3 years now, however I am still technically a virgin. I have had a couple boyfriends and have always said I wanted to wait until marriage for sex. However, as I am still human, LOL, we have done other stuff such as hand jobs, blowjobs, I am sure you get the idea…

About 6 months ago I started having anal sex only with my current BF. It has really grown on us and we do it more and more. Until i found your site, I thought there was something wrong with what we were doing and was ashamed to talk about it… So I just wanted to say thanks for letting us know it’s not so weird!

You’re quite welcome, and I’m glad you’re able to enjoy it and not feel like you’re doing something wrong. There certainly is nothing at all wrong with anal or with being anal only, and its appeal is far greater than many people seem to realize before they see how many people share the same desire. It’s extremely common for people who want to avoid having vaginal sex until a later time, but it’s also common just because so many people prefer anal sex to vaginal.

Anonymous: First of all, I love your blog! I’m a twenty year old vaginal virgin who has been in a committed anal only relationship for five years. I literally feel like this page was made to perfectly suit my sexual taste! ???

Thank you, I’m glad to hear you enjoy it and that you share the same interests. It’s always great to hear from other long-term anal only people, and from vaginal virgins who have chosen to remain anal only!

Anonymous: Lately I’ve been training myself to orgasm from anal and so far I barely have to touch my pussy to cum. I hope one day I don’t have to touch it at all and still cum. I’m planning on getting my boyfriend to take my anal virginity before my vaginal virginity. I can’t wait and I love this blog for giving me so much good advice.

That’s fantastic—I’m glad to hear it, and with any luck you’ll be able to keep reducing the amount of vaginal/clitoral stimulation needed to orgasm until you don’t need it at all anymore during anal. Good luck!

I think it’s great you want to lose your anal virginity first, but I would be remiss to go without encouraging you to just stay anal only at that point and not bother with your vaginal virginity at all. Of course, some are curious to try both, and that’s fair if it’s what you really want, but I’d at least consider staying an anal only vaginal virgin.

Anonymous: Hi, I’m the vaginal virgin who wrote three days ago. I’ve talked a lot with my boyfriend, and he convinced me I’m naturally anal. His main point is that I never feel the need to stimulate my clitoris (he certainly doesn’t) during our sex – I did it when I started my sexuality, but my partners disliked it so I stopped, and I never felt the urge to do it again. At first I felt rejected when he told me he wanted me to stay a vaginal virgin, but now it makes me feel special. We’re going to marry!

I’m glad the two of you were able to come to a mutually agreeable decision and both understand where each other is coming from. If you’ve been anal only without clitoral stimulation for an extended period of time and you enjoy it and feel no urge to play with your clit during, then it is certainly true that anal only is a fairly natural thing for you.

Good luck, and congratulations!

Anonymous: Hi, I’m the vaginal virgin from 06/04/2016. It’s true I looked for anal, but it was just to give my future husband the gift of my virginity… and now that I’m about to marry my partner, he doesn’t want to hear about vaginal whatsoever. He’s telling me he does treasure my virginity, because to him it’s very special to fuck my ass while my pussy is still sealed, but I’m afraid I’m losing something, and the prospect of never ever doing vaginal scares me, even though I don’t feel frustrated at all.

It sounds like at least part of the problem is that the two of you had different expectations when you started an anal exclusive relationship—you wanted anal to preserve your vaginal virginity to give as a gift, while he perhaps wanted anal simply because he prefers anal and he finds being anal only (and in your case completely pure anal only, because you’ve never had vaginal sex) appealing and would like to remain that way.

I don’t advocate vaginal sex, and I think anal and anal only is always better, and I encourage remaining anal only if you’ve successfully done so this far and remain a vaginal virgin. That said, that’s only my opinion, and I also don’t advocate anal only relationships unless everyone in the relationship is on board and embraces the idea.

What are your concerns specifically, simply that you want to also experience vaginal sex and don’t want to eliminate the possibility of ever doing so? Most anal only couples will still have vaginal sex in order to have children, they just limit it to reproductive purposes rather than recreational sex—so if you chose to remain anal only but plan to have children at some point, you would undoubtedly be having vaginal sex then. Or perhaps you also feel hurt in some way because you approached this as giving him the gift of your virginity and his desire to remain anal only feels like a rejection of that gift?

You’re going to have to honestly and openly communicate with him about what both of you want. Part of the disconnect may be because from your perspective you were using an alternate form of sex for now so that you could give him the “ultimate” form of sexual intercourse—vaginal—after getting married; but from his perspective, being anal only was already the ultimate form of sex and much preferred to vaginal. That’s only speculation on my part, of course, and you’ll need to discuss it with him to figure out your motivations and desires for sure. Good luck, and I hope you’re able to work it out in a way acceptable to the both of you.