Tag: 20160604

A year-long exchange with an anal only vaginal virgin who struggles with the fact that her boyfriend (later fiancé and then husband) wants her to keep her vaginal virginity permanently, but later comes to appreciate and even share that desire.

Message: Permanent Vaginal Virginity and Motherhood

Hi! I’m the vaginal virgin who wrote to you one year ago, tag 20160604. Since it’s thanks to you that I realized I didn’t really want vaginal sex and my husband and I eventually got married, I felt like giving you an update! I’m still a vaginal virgin, we’re still obviously anal only, and we’re extremely happy.

In a year, we started to think about having kids, and the big update is we decided to adopt! We weighted everything that could cause problems: lack of genetic link, possibilities and delays for adoption in our situation, what to tell our families, cost, etc. It may seem excessive or weird, but the deciding factor was my husband just couldn’t sacrifice my virginity. He once told me he couldn’t begin to express into words how important it was to him, and not just sexually, that I stayed a virgin forever, that only my ass and mouth have ever been penetrated my whole life.

When I wrote to you, I was distressed because I felt I was missing something but it’s not the case any more. I just stopped thinking about it, to me my vagina and clitoris are actually less sexual than my feet, which my man loves to lick while he takes my ass in missionary! They’re actually more like my belly button: I wouldn’t look right without them, but they’re biological remains that don’t serve any sort of purpose, and only get touched for hygiene.

I still have my hymen, and my husband treasures it, he said he’d buy surgery if it ever gets damaged. The only time he manipulates my pussy is to check if my hymen is still intact. That way, he jokes, I would have to get fucked in the ass if I ever want to cheat on him, and then he doesn’t really mind!

So, everything is great. I don’t even mind adopting at all, to me biological links don’t mean anything, and it’s a relief that I can 100% forget about vaginal, it nearly made me turn down the love of my life!

Thanks very much for the update! It sounds like things have worked out very well for the both of you, which is wonderful to hear. Since preserving your vaginal virginity is important to the both of you, I’m glad to hear that you’ve found a solution that satisfies that requirement and otherwise works for you as well.

Message: Anal Only Marriage Followup

Hi, your post about “The Many Roads Leading to the Anal Only Lifestyle” is very true, I myself belong to two categories. I got into anal to stay a virgin until marriage, but then I fell in love with my sex friend. When we started talking about marriage, I told him about having vaginal sex after we’re husband and wife, but he didn’t want to hear about it – he’s actually not even into clitoral stimulation, even if he loves lengthily licking my asshole.

We argued about it for a few weeks, but then I noticed he was more and more dominant in bed. In fact, he’s always believed I was anal only because I liked it, and the idea anal was “forced” on me while I really wanted vaginal and clitoral sex obviously turned him on, especially since I’m still a virgin… Somehow, this misunderstanding made him much more passionate, sex got really hotter, and he also became more caring and protective with me.

The situation started to please and turn me on a lot, too. That was six months ago (I actually wrote to you about it in June), we got married in August. I’m still a vaginal virgin, obviously we’re still an anal only couple, and we’re also a dominant/submissive couple, mostly in bed but also partly in life. It’s crazy, because I got into anal to save my virginity for my husband so my marriage gets as perfect and romantic as possible, and it’s somehow what happened, but not how I had imagined.

Thanks so much for the followup submission. Congratulations on getting married, and I’m so glad everything worked out so well and in a mutually satisfactory way for the both of you. It sounds like you made the right decision to stay anal only!

Message: Staying a Vaginal Virgin Now Makes Me Feel Special

Anonymous: Hi, I’m the vaginal virgin who wrote three days ago. I’ve talked a lot with my boyfriend, and he convinced me I’m naturally anal. His main point is that I never feel the need to stimulate my clitoris (he certainly doesn’t) during our sex – I did it when I started my sexuality, but my partners disliked it so I stopped, and I never felt the urge to do it again. At first I felt rejected when he told me he wanted me to stay a vaginal virgin, but now it makes me feel special. We’re going to marry!

I’m glad the two of you were able to come to a mutually agreeable decision and both understand where each other is coming from. If you’ve been anal only without clitoral stimulation for an extended period of time and you enjoy it and feel no urge to play with your clit during, then it is certainly true that anal only is a fairly natural thing for you.

Good luck, and congratulations!

Message: He Treasures My Vaginal Virginity

Anonymous: Hi, I’m the vaginal virgin from 06/04/2016. It’s true I looked for anal, but it was just to give my future husband the gift of my virginity… and now that I’m about to marry my partner, he doesn’t want to hear about vaginal whatsoever. He’s telling me he does treasure my virginity, because to him it’s very special to fuck my ass while my pussy is still sealed, but I’m afraid I’m losing something, and the prospect of never ever doing vaginal scares me, even though I don’t feel frustrated at all.

It sounds like at least part of the problem is that the two of you had different expectations when you started an anal exclusive relationship—you wanted anal to preserve your vaginal virginity to give as a gift, while he perhaps wanted anal simply because he prefers anal and he finds being anal only (and in your case completely pure anal only, because you’ve never had vaginal sex) appealing and would like to remain that way.

I don’t advocate vaginal sex, and I think anal and anal only is always better, and I encourage remaining anal only if you’ve successfully done so this far and remain a vaginal virgin. That said, that’s only my opinion, and I also don’t advocate anal only relationships unless everyone in the relationship is on board and embraces the idea.

What are your concerns specifically, simply that you want to also experience vaginal sex and don’t want to eliminate the possibility of ever doing so? Most anal only couples will still have vaginal sex in order to have children, they just limit it to reproductive purposes rather than recreational sex—so if you chose to remain anal only but plan to have children at some point, you would undoubtedly be having vaginal sex then. Or perhaps you also feel hurt in some way because you approached this as giving him the gift of your virginity and his desire to remain anal only feels like a rejection of that gift?

You’re going to have to honestly and openly communicate with him about what both of you want. Part of the disconnect may be because from your perspective you were using an alternate form of sex for now so that you could give him the “ultimate” form of sexual intercourse—vaginal—after getting married; but from his perspective, being anal only was already the ultimate form of sex and much preferred to vaginal. That’s only speculation on my part, of course, and you’ll need to discuss it with him to figure out your motivations and desires for sure. Good luck, and I hope you’re able to work it out in a way acceptable to the both of you.

Message: Confused Why My Fiance Wants Me To Stay Anal Only

Anonymous: Hi! I wanted to stay a virgin until marriage, so when I started my sexuality, I sought anal only fuck buddies. I met a few guys and settled with a partner. Years passed, we got closer and even lived together for the past year, our love became clear, and we want to marry. But when the subject of vaginal sex was brought up, he told me he wanted to stay anal only. He told me he enjoyed I stayed a virgin, and to him it was obvious I was an anal woman. It’s true I enjoy our sex, but now I’m confused.

What’s to be confused about? You presented yourself as anal only, your partner accepted you as this and was happy with it as well, and he would like you to stay that way even after marriage. It’s no surprise that most men prefer anal and when presented with the option to be in an anal only relationship, many are eager to maintain that. You should discuss it more with him. Are you satisfied with anal sex? Do you enjoy it? Does the idea of remaining anal only and continuing to be a vaginal virgin appeal to you in any way as some sort of turn on?