Category: Anal Myths

This category contains posts that discuss common myths. For more information, see our list of Common Myths & Fears About Anal Sex and Long-term Health.


Article: How to Avoid Painful Anal Sex

For most people, anal sex can be painful, especially when it is their first time or is with a partner who is not gentle. In a survey of 412 people by the San Francisco Aids Foundation, 96% of participants reported having, or having had, anal sex. Of those participants:

• 86% said that they had experienced pain at least once, while 9% had never experienced pain
• 36% said that they had enjoyed pain during anal sex
• 64% of people who had anally penetrated a partner said that their partner had asked them to stop because of the pain

Anal sex may hurt for several reasons, including:

• the anus not producing lubrication for sex
• the sphincter muscles of the anus being very tight
• certain health issues, such as hemorrhoids, making it painful

However, anal sex does not have to hurt, and severe pain may indicate that a person is doing something potentially harmful.

Continue reading on MedicalNewsToday

Article: Everything You Could Possibly Need to Know About Anal Sex

While pop culture might have you believing that anal sex is an act that can just happen organically without tons of lube and prep beforehand, that’s just not really how it goes. Sure, the ol’ “sorry, I slipped and almost went into the wrong hole” thing happens sometimes, but it’s rare that the slipping excuse would result in full-penetration in your ass — unless you had a LOT of lube involved on both your bum, your partner’s penis, and even then, unlikely.

But if you’re willing to dedicate some time to prepwork (aka anal training), do your research, and buy a few lubes beforehand, anal sex can be uber pleasurable. Who knows, it might even become your favorite.

Yes, anal sex does require some extra preparation, but aside from that, it’s just another sex act. Whether you’re still debating trying it out, or are already committed to doing it, here’s everything you need to know about anal sex for beginners.

Continue reading on Cosmopolitan

Article: New to Anal Sex? Please Read This!

People wanting to try anal sex for the first time are usually attracted by what they’ve heard about it, or were asked by their partner to try it. Most who try anal have no information to guide them towards a pleasurable experience. Here is a list of important things to keep in mind if you want it to be enjoyable, repeatable, and something you and your partner will EVER want to do again!

1) There are two sphincter muscles, and both have to be relaxed for anal sex to feel good. The outer sphincter is a voluntary muscle, so with practice it can be relaxed at will. The second sphincter muscle  is an involuntary muscle about an inch and a half inside the anus. Because it’s an involuntary muscle, you’ll just have to wait for it to relax.  This can take up to twenty minutes for a beginner.

2) Anal sex should not hurt. If it hurts, you’re doing it wrong.  Anal sex feels amazing if the second sphincter muscles are relaxed. If they aren’t, forcing entry will bruise the muscles. That hurts a lot! When people talk about anal sex being painful, this is the stage they’re talking about.  Rectal tissues are much thinner and more fragile than are vaginal tissues. The only solution is to take things slowly – very slowly – and wait for the second sphincter muscle to finally relax by itself. Rush this step, and you may turn off the person involved to ever trying anal sex again.

3) Anal play requires lube. Lots of lube. Unlike the vagina and mouth, the anus and rectum do not produce lubrication. Lubes specifically formulated for anal play are typically thicker to compensate for how absorbant the rectal walls are to moisture. Thinner lubes will be absorbed more quickly, and will  need reapplication. An alternative is silicone-based lubricant, which will not be absorbed into the body, but is not safe for all toys. No matter what kind of lube you choose, use plenty and reapply.

4) Talk to your partner about how it feels. Waiting for the muscles to relax is a wonderful opportunity for communication, feedback, and lots of giggles! Yes, this is a chance to take things with some lightness and fun and even some silliness. Ask questions, answer questions, move slowly. This is a learning curve, as this is a whole new realm of sensations for the newcomer!

5) It gets better. Once relaxed, there is enormous potential for pleasure from anal sex. The second sphincter will eventually learn to relax much more quickly, taking cues from the first sphincter relaxing. This training can take months and even then can be finicky, so always take it slow.

We often tell people there are four major elements to anal sex: lots of good lubrication; lots of time; more lube; and more time.  Go slowly, have fun, and check in with your partner. Anal play is just that: play!

Continue reading on Frisky Business Adult Boutique

Article: Wait, Can You Actually Get Pregnant from Anal Sex?

Looking back on your Sex Ed days, you probably got to the basics that P-in-V sex can lead to pregnancy. Anal sex was most likely left out of that pregnancy convo, and that’s probably because you technically can’t make a baby in your b-hole.

But, even though you can’t get pregnant from anal itself, it’s still possible (say what?).

All genders, identities, and sexual orientations can enjoy anal play (which can involve a penis, dildo, other sex toys, or fingers… get creative). But, when it comes to the possibility of pregnancy, we’re talking about penis to anus located near a vagina.

Going through the backdoor is a pretty common item on the sexual menu for women. One study, found more than a third of U.S. women said they’d had anal with a male partner in the past 3 months. Another study found that 13 percent of women had anal in the past 12 months, while 36 percent of women had done so in their lifetime.

These stats may vary, but one thing is certain: People are out there plundering the booty. Here’s what you need to know when it comes to pregnancy risk and anal sex.

Continue reading on Greatist

Message: Double Anal and Gapes?

This message was originally posted to the Anal Only Bdsmlr blog, and is being cross-posted here.

Anonymous: You keep enconraging gapes and double anal. They’re indeed a very sexy thing, but in reality wouldn’t you be afrait if the one good hole get’s loose there’s nothing to enjoy anymore?

While in fantasy, some people like the idea of women being stretched out to the point that they can’t enjoy even anal anymore, that doesn’t really happen in real life aside from major injury and nerve damage.

Gapes are just the result of learning to control your anal muscles and keep them relaxed open. Because you have that control, you can also let them tighten back up again too, when you’re ready to do so.

Stretching from increased usage, whether from larger partners, larger toys, or from double anal, doesn’t mean that you’re always loose, it just increases your upper limit of comfortable stretching. You can still stay tight when you want to have sex that way, and enjoy smaller penetration as well. Women like Roxy Raye, who can have massive gapes and enjoy huge toys, still close up tight after and can have “normal” anal sex too.

That said, some women simply prefer larger penetrations and over time may find that they want to focus on large toys or double anal, because thats what gives them the most pleasure, and that’s perfectly fine as well if it’s what they want and they’re able to sustain it.

Article: What Does Anal Sex Really Feel Like?

Anal sex is in. To be fair, it has been for quite some time (and for queer men, it’s always been in). In fact, Marie Claire went as far to call 2014 the “Year of the Booty,” and in December of that year, Mic wrote a feature called: This Year Was a Game-Changer for Anal Sex — Even for the People Who Weren’t Having It.

Six years later, anal is still going strong. As a sex writer, I’m constantly asked to write pieces about how to have healthier and more pleasurable anal sex.

By why is everyone talking about anal sex now? In large part, it’s because a sex-positive revolution is happening, and we’re more open to exploring our sexuality and vocalizing our desires. (For the record, people were always having anal sex before it was “in”—the mainstream media simply wasn’t talking about it the same way.) Also, anal sex feels really fucking good. Plain and simple. It feels good to do things to someone else’s butt, and have someone else do things to your butt. Really, the more butts involved during sex, the better.

Don’t just take my word for it. I reached out to 12 sex-positive men, asking them to describe, in detail, what anal sex feels like. Their answers make it clear that anal sex isn’t just in—it’s here to stay.

Continue reading on Men’s Health

Don’t Forget: Our Guide is an Ebook

If you’ve followed us for a while, you’re probably familiar with our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle, which has been a part of this website for the past year since moving off Tumblr.

It’s always going to be a freely available resource as part of this blog for those who want to learn more about anal sex and the anal only lifestyle, but I’m happy to announce that you can also purchase it in an ebook format through Amazon as well, if that’s how you prefer to do your reading!

It can be a good resource if you’re just getting started, and it can make a good gift for friends who might be interested in anal or going anal only. Either way, it helps support this blog and the greater anal only community.

And, if you’re looking for another way to support the anal only community, consider becoming a Patron!

Reddit: How to Make Women More Confident About Their Assholes?

When I’ve asked women to spread, it can almost feel invasive. At least the first few times. It’s not like in porn where a woman moans then spreads her asshole out super wide and says “stick it in my shithole, baby”. No, it’s much more intimate than that. Especially for her.

I want my woman to feel like she’s giving me the holy grail of sex. I want her to act out with the confidence of seeing it as the ultimate compliment to her physical form. Her femininity should not feel under threat.

In conclusion, I want her to feel like her assholes worth a million bucks when we fuck!

One of several good responses:

Positive reinforcement is commonly one of the best ways to go. When you have anal, be sure to compliment her on all the things you love about her ass/asshole. Tell her how sexy it looks or how pretty/cute her asshole is, how good it feels to you, how much you appreciate using her ass. Don’t beat the horse about it, but do it enough times that the continued positivity will eventually make her feel more confident with it. She may not ever feel exactly how you feel about it, but her feeling more confident and at ease with it will certainly help a good deal in general.

Continue reading on /r/analonlylifestyle on Reddit

The Value of Anal Positivity

Talk to many women about anal sex, and if they aren’t already a fan, chances are that many have a lot of negative ideas about it. These ideas may come out of past attempts with inexperienced partners, stories from friends, or just various myths that spread through popular culture and the media.

But the reality is that some of the biggest enthusiasts of anal sex are women, because the potential for amazing pleasure can benefit women the most, and this highlights an essential path for encouraging anal to more people.

Those of us who love anal and know better than to believe negative myths and ideas about it should counter that negativity by being openly positive about anal and our love for it when it comes up in conversation. Instead of ignoring people when they say something negative, we should speak up and share our own opinions and experiences that are in direct contrast with that negativity.

Most people prefer positivity and want to like things, but it’s easy to get dragged down by negativity. When all a woman hears from her friends is jokes and mockery about anal sex, the chances of her wanting to try it is pretty minimal, but when she hears a friend share how it’s her favorite way to have sex and gives her the best orgasms she’s ever had, she’s probably going to want to try too, and it can start a dialogue about proper technique and how to begin.

So, the next time you hear someone say something negative about anal, be prepared to calmly and respectfully respond with your own positive opinions about it.