Category: Anal Myths

This category contains posts that discuss common myths. For more information, see our list of Common Myths & Fears About Anal Sex and Long-term Health.

Message: Am I Missing Something?

Anonymous: So I was talking with a group of friends (all male) and the conversation turns to sex and eventually anal sex comes up. I must be the only one of us who hasn’t done it, but the rest of the guys swear by it and say that if ever the opportunity comes up they’ll try and do it with their girlfriends. I didn’t believe them at first but they all said the same and then they told me there are people who only do anal, that it was a thing on tumblr when they allowed porn. So I went looking and found this blog. Now don’t get me wrong I’ve watched lots of porn and anal looks fun for variety but at the end of the day a hole is just a hole right? Is there something I’m missing as it would make sense that a pussy is best? Not trying to be disrespectful of anyone’s lifestyle, I’m just trying to understand. With the prep required and lube etc it doesn’t seem like it would be worth the effort but like I said I was told it’s something I’d want to do again if I were to try it.

At some level, it can come down to personal preference, but in general yes, for a lot of people anal sex does feel better and is more attractive and appealing than vaginal. A hole is not just a hole—everything has its differences.

It’s often possible to go deeper with anal. The anus is tighter and grippier. Both partners can feel the other orgasm more easily and with more detail through anal sex. Those receiving anal sex get more pleasure and more intense orgasms from it than from vaginal when anal is done right. There is a more primal and natural feeling of satisfaction from anal sex compare to vaginal.

With practice and experience, preparation can be reduced. It’s certainly needed when getting started, but with more experience and frequent anal sex, many people don’t need a lot of preparation or warmup. That, too, can be a matter of personal variation. You do need lube of some sort, but that’s not a big deal.

You should definitely give it a try, and not just once. It can take some time to get into and become familiar with fully, but once you do, there’s no comparison.

Message: How Much Anal is Too Much?

Skylar: So my (F) boyfriend and I are LDR, but working up to being a predominantly anal only couple when we move in together.

My question is: Is there so such thing as having too frequent anal sex? Not that we’re going at it every second of every day, it’s more every other day, but I’m just curious.

Yes, as with all things in life, it’s possible to have too much anal sex, but it’s not a universal, hard and fast rule for everyone, it’s something to figure out for yourself. If it hurts frequently or you’re particularly sore in a painful rather than pleasant way afterwards, you might be doing it to often. If it’s just a lot of fun and feels great without any significant ill effects, then you’re doing just fine!

It’s entirely possible for people to have anal sex daily or even more frequently, you just need to listen to your body and do it at a frequency that works for you. If every other day works for you, keep doing it. If you want to start doing it daily, go for it!

Good luck going anal only when you move in together—that’s something you’ll never regret deciding to do!

Forum: Gratitude

From a recent post on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum:

I just wanted to send you my heartfelt gratitude for the work that you do here, the community you’ve created, and the myths that you dispel in an everyday way. The encouraging, positive, can-do attitude of the advice and community has been such a gift. You’re blog was an integral part of my own exploration of the lifestyle, at the gentle prompting of my sex coach, of course.

I’d always thought of myself as a sexual explorer. I had tried and loved anal sex. I somehow always found myself with multiple partners who preferred or at least heartily enjoyed anal sex throughout the years. I’d tried gang bangs and dp, which always felt the most satisfying for all involved if my ass got used in equal measure to my mouth and cunt. It just never even occurred to me that it would be entirely more gratifying to only use my ass. It seems so silly now to say it! The answer was there all the time!


My greatest surprise has been the way that being anal only encourages the very best that sex has to offer, and not just the satisfaction derived from the physical way that anal sex feels great. All of my partners have met me with more creativity, more vigor, more intensity, more boundary pushing, and more intention to pervert conventions of sexuality in the most wonderful way. Of course, it doesn’t have to mean those things, but it has given me and my lovers the space and permission to go deeper. 

I have been able to explore so many areas, from mind-blowing anal orgasm to complete denial, shifting paradigms of desire from being an endlessly greedy bottom to seeking pleasure from the joys of service. I would have never come to these without the structure and curiosity provided by the Anal only community.

Thank you again. Two years has gone by with remarkable ease and only a few moments of extreme and intense longing for the old ways. I made it through, thanks to you all! I would encourage anyone with the slightest hint or proclivity to delve in, even if slow at first. It’s so worth it.

Continue reading on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Discussion: How Can You Have Anal Sex and Keep Your Anus Unchanged?

This Quora discussion gets into the common myth of anal sex causing damage or permanent alteration of the anus, and whether it’s possible to have anal without causing such harm.

Very easy. The human anus is made of muscle. It is able to stretch and accommodate the passage of objects larger in size than a human penis. Like any other muscle in the body, it is able to stretch out and then return to its original size, shape, and physiological state. In fact, just like any other muscle in the body, the more it is exercised the stronger it gets!

Michael McClennen, Quora

By going slowly, stopping when it hurts, and using enough lubrication.

When done correctly, anal sex does not do damage to the body. It is important that the person who is being penetrated is relaxed and aroused, and that a lot of lubrication is used to reduce friction. STOP when it hurts. Go slower.

That is how.

Elizabeth Retief, Quora

Much of the myth and confusion surrounding this topic relates to the fact that by having anal sex or masturbating anally on a regular basis, you’re not only strengthening your anal muscles but keeping them much more active and warmed up, which makes it much easier to relax them. Some people confuse this with the idea of them being “loose” or “stretched”, as if that’s some sort of permanent state. But there’s no loss of control, there’s in fact an increase in control, and it’s easy to loosen or tighten them at will. The default resting state is still for the anus to be closed and tight, but it can open up for sex much more easily with experience and practice.

Continue reading on Quora

Article: Teen Vogue is Teaching Sex Ed the Way Public Education Should

On July 7, Teen Vogue published a column titled “Anal Sex: What You Need to Know.” The article detailed the benefits and nitty-gritty details of what it’s like going in the back door, from how to approach anal sex with your partner to what to expect during your first attempt. They claimed the guide was the “anal 101 for teens, beginners, and all inquisitive folk.”

Needless to say, conservatives were not pleased about it.

Within the following weeks, Fox NewsBreitbart, and other conservative news outlets wrote their responses to the article, criticizing the piece and calling it “agenda driven” and “smut.” A mom blogger called The Activist Mommy even posted a videoof her burning the issue, calling for a boycott of Teen Vogue for “teaching sodomy to our children.” It’s no surprise that some people didn’t like it, but some went as far to say that it was a “parent” issue — that talking about sex with teens was not okay.

Continue reading at Odyssey

Discussion: Why Don’t Women Like Anal Sex?

That’s the question a Quora user asks, and they receive a diverse set of answers, some far better than others, but the best answer is:

Some women do not like anal sex. They have tried it, but it was painful, or it was done incorrectly, or they didn’t enjoy the sensation, or any number of other reasons.

Some women have never tried it, and have no desire to, because they think it’s gross, or unnatural, or will be painful.

Some women have never tried it, but would like to.

Some women greatly enjoy anal sex.

There is no singular ‘why’ here, because it’s factually untrue that all women dislike anal sex.

Jeremy Glenesk, Quora

Continue reading on Quora

Discussion: Can Men Get Addicted to Anal Sex?

A user on Quora asks this question, which prompts the following response:

No. Sex addiction does not exist, period. If you don’t like that, don’t argue with me, argue with the DSM-V and the American Medical Association, they’re the ones who made the decision. Frankly, I trust them over the religious nuts and con artists who came up with the concept of sex addiction, but I suppose you’re free to make that call for yourself.

Sex addiction of any kind does not exist. This includes anal sex.

Vivian Mackenzie Mandelbrot, Quora

While this is the correct response in the true technical sense of addiction, what the original user may have been asking was more along the lines of the common usage of the term.

It’s not going to cause an unhealthy addiction to anal sex, but the frequent practice of anal sex and the subsequent realization of how much better it is than vaginal is going to cause most men to definitely prefer and prioritize anal sex, and in many cases to want to have anal sex exclusively and stop all comparatively unnecessary vaginal activities.

This is normal and expected. If you prefer anal and don’t want to do vaginal anymore, don’t do it.

Continue reading on Quora

Discussion: Is it ok to have anal sex with your wife?

From today’s edition of Silly Questions From Quora, a user asks what should be a blindingly obvious question of whether it’s okay to have anal sex with one’s wife.

The answers are all good and focus on the importance of consent while remaining sex positive and making it clear that if both partners enjoy and want anal sex, then they can and should do it.

One answer goes above and beyond and makes it clear just how much women can enjoy anal sex:

I do anal every time me and my husband have sex. Its usually everyday. Sometimes six days a week.

We have vaginal first with a plug to get me ready. I orgasm at least 3 times. Then take the plug out and have 2 other orgasms during anal. Fun times. Been together for 13 years and married 7.

So yah it’s ok, for me at least!

Bonnie Smith, Quora

Given the anal only nature of this blog, we would be remiss if we didn’t suggest that moving away from vaginal even as a means of foreplay would be an even better experience, but ultimately it’s up to each person’s individual preferences and needs. It’s clear that for this person, anal is already the priority and primary means of sexual activity and pleasure and everything else builds up to it, but by eliminating vaginal it can make the anal that much better.

Continue reading on Quora

Discussion: Is It Normal for Women to Have Anal Sex?

That’s the question a Quora user asks, and thanks to the growing popularity and normalization of anal sex, they get some excellent responses!

Yes, anal sex has been practiced for millennia, both heterosexual and homosexual. More women are engaging in it these days, so it’s important to know how to do it correctly because, if you get it wrong, the result can be painful and possibly injurious.

Hombre Serious, Quora

It is very normal nowadays amongst women to have anal sex. Anal sex is considered to. be more enjoyable than other positions while having sex.
The only thing precautionary in Anal Sex is to go about very slow and be caring about your Partner. Being Selfish while performing Anal Sex can lead to Relationship issues on longterm basis.

Harley Julep, Quora

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Article: Why Women Should Have Anal Sex

Anal sex gets a bad rap. It’s not hard to understand why. It’s been considered taboo for centuries and often considered to foster homosexual tendencies. But I am a warm blooded woman that happens to love anal sex.

I get why (even I back then) women are cringing at the thought of a man’s you know what coming even close to their back doors. It’s a sexual act only shown on the adult websites and never in coming of age or romantic movies. It’s been made to sound painful and dangerous by scores of women that had a terrible experience with it. Awful, because I feel sorry for their experience, yet that’s understandable. But even more appalling are the ridiculous articles by women who do love anal sex as a degradation to the female race.

Continue reading on Thought Catalog