Even though anal sex—or at least, talking about anal sex—has become significantly less taboo in the past decade, it still remains the big elephant in the bedroom, despite the world becoming a lot more comfortable with the derrière.

Butts have taken on an entirely new status (thanks, social media!)…and the good news is society has become more sex-positive overall (yay!). Still, actually having anal sex remains ~controversial~ among women, no matter how often it’s discussed.

“Unfortunately, there is still a tendency to stigmatize acts that might be considered ‘non-traditional’ for some people, due to lack of information,” explains Alexis Clarke, PhD, a licensed psychologist who specializes in sex and relationships.

Thing is, anal sex can oftentimes become the preferred method for women who don’t have vaginas, for those for whom vaginal penetration is especially painful, and for women who simply experience more pleasure that way, Clarke says.

Continue reading on Women’s Health Magazine

To make a long story short, I (20f) have undergone vaginal surgery which caused sensitivity loss. The doctor has also mutilated a lot of other women as I have later found out.

Now, it looks perfect, I still get very wet but this period without being able to touch my vagina made me want to explore pleasure in another way, as I have always had a curiosity for anal.

Since I was small I have experimented with it and now recently I came to terms that I probably will have to explore that forever if I want to feel real pleasure.

I have been using improvised toys (I’m poor lol don’t judge) and I can cum very fast, it’s still not only anal orgasm as I do still try to touch myself but I have just been crazy about it.

I have not had anal sex yet, so my question is, what are the chances of anal sex being as good as anal play and me actually enjoying it? i haven’t tried it yet because I don’t want to be disappointed as I feel I am doomed to have to use it forever anyways so I don’t want a bad experience.

Are there any other women who have gone through a similar experience as well?

Continue reading on r/analonlylifestyle on Reddit

This Halloween, make the anal only lifestyle a part of your costume by dressing up with a butt plug as an integral part of the design. Not only will it be a sexy surprise for any special people in your life, it will also help spice up the experience and give you a fun secret to focus on during the day.

Giving it a try? Let us know!

miceandorratz: Hi! Know you’re on hiatus so feel free to answer whenever.

I found this blog a while ago and when I found out about No Pussy November I got really excited to finally start exploring anal stuff, especially now that I have friends (and probably more importantly the finances) to support me.

I’m not exactly sure what to do to start, though? I know November is a while’s off when I send this ask, but if I wanna buy any sex toys for the month I wanna do it beforehand. There’s no “anal training regimine” out there (I get it’s because I should go at the pace I feel comfortable with, but I wish there was something out there giving me a little more direction) so I’m not sure if I should get an anal training kit or just a lotta lube or what. Even between anal training kits I’m not sure what material to get it made outta!!

If you have any advice on what to do I’d appreciate it, all I really know that silicone lube is the preferred anal lube iirc. Any idea on if and what sex toys to bother with, general idea of how long to play with yourself, etc would be really appreciated. I don’t even have preference on price I’d just appreciate some direction.

Thanks for reading, hope things get easier for you! I’ve admired this blog for a while and stuff.

Glad to hear that you’re interested in anal and trying No Pussy November!

I suggest starting with lube and fingers and then getting a butt plug and dildo to try further from there. If you haven’t read our Guide, give it a look—it has a lot of advice on these topics.

Ultimately, though, the motivation and desire to get started is more important than exactly what you use. Most things will work, some better than others, and sticking with it and working on training your ass and ignoring your pussy are what will bring you success in the anal only lifestyle above all else.

EllaV: Hi, I found your site because I was searching for a solution to what I want and I think this might be it. I am a virgin and I really want to stay that way, it’s not because of my family or religion really, just something that I want for myself because I don’t like the idea of vaginal sex or getting pregnant until I’m ready, so I’d like to not have vaginal sex until then which will be a long time. But I also am really horny and have been dating so I would like to have sex, and anal only seems like a good way to do it.

I started fingering myself last week and I like how it feels. How long do I need to practice for until I can try anal sex with my boyfriend? He’s been pushing for sex lately and I want to be able to give it to him but I want it to be safe too!

I agree that it’s a good solution for staying a vaginal virgin and I definitely support the idea of not having vaginal sex outside of reproductive goals and only doing anal and oral otherwise! I think that’s a trend we’re going to be seeing more and more of so that we can start to take control of our lives away from the risk of reproduction through sex and turn sex into something that serves us instead through anal only. Sex is healthy and good and should be done regularly but it shouldn’t be vaginal, it should be anal.

I encourage fingering yourself until you can fit three fingers without it hurting and then get a butt plug around that thickness or a little bigger and work to be able to wear that. From there you could either try a dildo similar size to your boyfriend or just work towards anal together with him at that point if he’s patient and gentle and won’t just push it in.

Also be sure to talk with him about your goal to be anal only and that you want to keep your pussy virgin and unused and make sure that he’s on board with this idea as well. The last thing you want is him not understanding and going for your pussy instead.

Good luck and enjoy! You’re going to love being anal only.

Anonymous: When I have anal sex or use a butt plug, it stings and continues to whenever I try anything for a few days. Do you have any suggestions so I can try anal more often without it hurting?

It sounds like you may need to warm up a bit more, starting with lots of lube and gentle massage to gradually work your anus open with fingers, then progressing to a small toy. If it stings, you may be tearing it slightly by going too quickly.

Once you get to where you can use a toy without it stinging, try using it regularly, at least part of each day, and that will help you to stay relaxed and warmed up without risking injury. Even a minor injury can become irritated and last longer if it keeps happening or isn’t allowed to heal, so do what it takes to warm up without pain and you’ll enjoy long term satisfaction of anal sex!

Phelix: So I recently told my ex girlfriend I liked to receive anal. She broke up with me because I like receiving anal. She told me that I was gay and that it was weird. I don’t understand it what do you think?

And I have a question? I started play anally about a year and a half ago. I’m trying to orgasm from anal only do you have any tips to stop using my penis to have an orgasm. Right now I can use anal to get to the edge but I have to touch my penis to actually orgasm.

Enjoying anal as a giver or a receiver doesn’t inherently have anything to do with someone’s sexuality. Sexuality has to do with who you’re attracted to. You can be a straight man who likes giving or receiving anal sex from women. You can be a gay man who likes giving or receiving anal sex from men. Or all sorts of other combinations. The sexual act is separate from the gender you’re attracted to and want to have sex with. But because men receiving anal sex has been so associated with being gay in our culture, it’s assumed by some less informed people that liking anal means you’re gay.

As for orgasming from anal, just keep going. It takes time. Try committing to at least several months without anything but anal stimulation and you should gain significantly more sensitivity and start to get over the edge from anal stimulation alone.

At the moment I can only cum from clitoral stimulation and anal, but I’ve read some posts on here where ladies have cum from just anal and I want that

An excerpt of several good responses:

I started to be fucked in the ass in July or August last year. Then closer to Christmas I started using buttplugs when I played with myself and earlier this month I used a vibrator and a dildo to play only with my ass! I kept playing when my body wanted to stop and then I squirted and came on the dildo! I was so proud I had to tell my Daddy (Dom) immediately

Little-CocoPops, /r/analonlylifestyle

My wife is the same way as you but unfortunately she doesn’t have the same hunger to cum solely from anal as you. We’re AO at this point because of some ongoing vaginal issues she’s having (which we suspect are due to her taking immunosuppressants for her autoimmune disease), but she needs her vibrator on her clit to cum, no matter what. She’ll have massive anal orgasms, but once she cums her psychological lust for anal dissipates, and she’s like “honey you gotta try to cum, I can’t go much longer.” Every time I broach the subject of “why don’t we try to slowly gradually train you away from your vibrator?” She gets pissed.

syncop8, /r/analonlylifestyle

Continue reading on /r/analonlylifestyle on Reddit

My boyfriend has a VERY big fetish on anal I did it with him a couple of times. But man it’s hurt so bad. My boyfriend has a very thick 8″ at first he used to break my pussy do you have any way to make it better we use a lot of water base lub. I want to please him so bad help me!!

roseemyboucher, /r/analonlylifestyle

Continue reading on /r/analonlylifestyle on Reddit

Maddie: I wanted to share some exciting news! I’ve been telling my friends about how much I love anal and AO for a while and have become “that girl” that they come to and ask questions about anal when they or their boyfriends want to try it, and I’ve slowly started to talk them into trying it more often and wearing butt plugs and they’re really starting to enjoy it a lot more and it’s not just something they do for their guys now! But one has a boyfriend who really prefers anal, and they’ve been doing it a lot lately, and she actually asked me for advice on going anal only with him as a gift! I told her to wear her plug more often to relax and to just tell him she wanted be anal only with him, and she did it. He was totally down with the idea (of course) and they’re going to try it until his birthday in May to start with. I told her she should make it permanent for his birthday if she has had a good time up until then. She said, “that’s the idea”, lol.

So I’m really proud and had to share, it feels really good to help another girl with anal only too, I can see why you do it!

Wow, that’s such great news! Thanks for sharing.

You’re right, it is incredibly rewarding and enjoyable to help people make the transition to the anal only lifestyle, and I encourage it for everyone who has the opportunity to do so. Open up to your friends and loved ones about how much you enjoy and prefer anal, how you’re anal only, and how you’re happy to help anyone else with anal play, anal sex, and going anal only themselves. Encourage they do an anal only challenge either by themselves or with a partner (a month is a good length of time to start with and extend it from there). If they’re just getting started, advise them on anal toys and anal play, how to get started with anal sex, and how to enjoy anal penetration without pain or discomfort.

If we all work together to encourage other people to explore anal pleasure and embrace anal only, more people will try it for themselves and many of those people will find that they, too enjoy anal sex more than vaginal and find a lot of benefits in being anal only.

In the end, that’s the purpose of this blog: sharing other people’s experiences and general advice in order to provide the inspiration and encouragement to explore going anal only for yourself, to find out if you like it.