Anonymous: Hey! My gilfriend and i have been enjoying anal sex occasionally for a couple of months now and we want to go anal only, my questions to you are the following! How do we properly prepare for an anal only lifestyle? How do we clean her asshole, how can we be able to have anal any time?! Thanks!

Wearing a butt plug for 30 minutes to an hour before having sex does wonders for both purposes, and wearing one more regularly throughout the day can also make it easy to have sex at any point just by removing it and you’re ready to go.

A balanced diet with a healthy amount of fiber will keep her naturally quite clean, and wearing a plug before sex will usually stimulate the digestive tract to help with any remaining cleaning out that might be necessary. A dildo in the shower before sex can be used to verify cleanliness, too.

Some will use a small anal douche to flush out the rectum, but you want to be careful to not go overboard with this as if water passes the rectum and goes deeper it can end up causing more of a mess.

Anonymous: So most sexy things have an un-sexy consequence… Has toying around with your butt to the extent which you have ever resulted in unfortunate -err- ‘waste’ issues?

willowkitty: There are two ways I can read this question, so I am going to address both to ensure I cover it all; “Have things gotten messy while you are playing?” and “Have you had any incontinence issues since you have been taking larger toys?”

Keep in mind that I am not a medical professional, so what I am about to tell you is what I have learned from reading articles online, my own experiences, and talking to experienced anal players.

Now, first thing you need to know is that your anal canal & lower colon (aka Rectum, and recto-sigmoid segment) do not store feces. Feces are stored higher up in your colon (higher up in your sigmoid colon to be exact), and move down towards your anal canal when you produce a bowel movement. It is very important to eat a healthy diet with enough fibre, as this will ensure that you are regular; if you are constipated or loose, then there will be issues.

Secondly, you can also take preventative measures if you desire. You can clean yourself out with an enema or an anal douche, though this is not necessary at all; a quick shower beforehand to wash around your anus, and maybe slip a finger in will work well (do not use soap, you will hurt the sensitive tissues & bacteria that needs to thrive there). The difference between the two is that with an enema there is generally more fluid and you are holding it in a for a while before you expel, and with a douche you are expelling right after you fill yourself up; douching is a good way to just give a quick rinse to your anal canal. If you are going to preform an enema or douche before anal, you need to be careful. You will want to do it a few hours before play, to allow your rectum to recover the bacteria that you flush out. There is a lot of bacteria in your rectum that is necessary, and if you flush too often you can actually hurt yourself and do permanent damage. Of course, if you are careful then you will be fine. Use sterile equipment, and after your are done ensure that you sterilize it again; you do not want to introduce too much foreign bacteria. There are different kinds out there as well: bulbs, and then more elaborate systems for deeper flushes. Most people use warm water (do NOT add soap as that will irritate you), but you can also use an enema solution. Do not use solutions meant for vaginal douching! I recommend buying something over the counter, but there are recipes for making it at home as well. You also need to do this very slowly and listen to your body. If you start to feel uncomfortable, or feel cramped up then your body is telling you that you have gone too far. If you have any sort of digestive issues, please go see your doctor before you do this. If you do flush often and notice a change in your digestive system then please go see your doctor.

It is not absolutely necessary to flush yourself beforehand though.As I said, if you are regular then you should know whether or not you need to go. If you have had a bowel movement within a few hours before play, then you should be good to go. I personally usually do not flush myself before I do my stretch training, and I have not had an issue at all. Once I start doing more depth training I will start playing around with enemas more. I am very committed to eating well, and I can pretty much predict when I am going to have a bowel movement now based on the time of day.

I also just want to say that even with preparation, and regular movements sometimes there might still be a small amounts of fecal matter; a speck or two perhaps. This is not the end of the world, and is perfectly normal. A lot of people worry about this, and feel shameful but it is not something to fret about. If that makes you uncomfortable, then perhaps anal sex is not for you. If you are having anal sex with someone, and they happen to react to such an incident I want to assure you that there is nothing wrong. Do not let that person’s reaction tarnish your view of anal sex. Sometimes these things will happen.

I do not think that this is an “un-sexy consequence” as that has far too much negativity surrounding it. It is just a natural process of the human body, and human bodies are sexy as fuck. 

To address the other way that the question can be read, have I had any issues with incontinence since taking large toys and stretching out my ass?

Short answer: No.

I have not had any issues at all. I can tell you that ever since I started training my anus to take larger toys, the muscles have become stronger. If you think about it, I am training myself to have better control of my anal sphincter; practice relaxing and opening up, and gripping around my toys. I have been very focused on this to perfect my gape abilities. My ass has never been this tight!

I hope that answered your question thoroughly. Feel free to ask for any clarifications if you need to 🙂

Again, I am not a medical professional so everything stated here is based on my own readings, my experience, and discussions with experienced anal players. 

Anonymous: I’m a huge fan of being fucked in my ass but my fiancé is either hesitant or just avoids my requests for anal sex. Got any tips on how I can entice him to stick his glorious 9″ inside my ass? I’d love to go ass only!

You’ll need to talk to him and see why he is resistant to anal. Outside the “anal only” sphere where everyone loves anal and it’s hard to imagine people who don’t, some men are turned off by the idea, thinking it’s dirty or weird or “gay”. Try to see if he’ll at least try it a few times to see what he thinks about it after, and if he likes it then try to do it with some regularity to begin. But if he’s hesitant still, try instead to incorporate some anal play into your sex life, even if that’s just wearing a butt plug during sex with him.

Most likely, if just the idea of anal sex on its own is currently unappealing to him, the idea of anal only is best avoided until a potential future point when he actually really likes anal and might be open to the idea.

Anonymous: Hi, I love your blog. but I’ve actually never had anal sex. I like to stick the tip of my finger when I am masturbating, but it’s rare. I’ve been thinking about having anal for real, with my boyfriend. Before I talk to him about it, I wanted to find out as much as I can about the whole thing. So I know that we need to start slow and I think I know enough about that side of things, but my worry is cleanliness and prep. When it’s my first time, do I need to prep like you’ve mentioned on ur blog b4

First, I encourage you to explore anal play more regularly while masturbating or even together with your boyfriend. Work on making that a regular part of your sex life, starting small with just one lubricated finger and working up in size as you feel ready, before trying anal intercourse.

Second, there are a lot of different opinions on cleanliness. Some go for all out enemas any time they have sex, but this can end up causing more of a mess and thus be time consuming to resolve. Others use a small anal douche to just flush out the rectum itself, which tends to be mostly empty most of the time anyway, and is usually where anal sex fully takes place. Others just go to the bathroom half an hour or so before and perhaps insert a butt plug, removing it before sex to verify continued cleanliness. If you have a fairly balanced diet with a healthy amount of fiber, the rectum tends to remain fairly clean. But, of course, if you’re going to have anal sex you should always be prepared for the possibility of an accident. As long as you and your partner both approach it in a mature manner, it really isn’t a big deal.

Anonymous: I love anal, but I’m new to it, and have some trouble getting past the fear of awkward accidents. I’m a bit fecal-phobic, and the idea of him getting any sort of” residue” terrifies me. I’d like to be able to do ATM sometimes. Any advice on prep?

First, accidents can happen and if you and a partner are engaging in anal play you should both be mature enough to accept that “risk” and recognize that it isn’t really that big of a deal in the event it does.

There are things you can do to mitigate the risk, however. Eating a balanced diet with a healthy amount of fiber does wonders to keep you fairly well cleaned out on its own. In general, the rectum does not hold any solid fecal matter except for when you feel the urge to use the restroom, and since most anal sex takes place entirely within the rectum, you’re mostly in the clear just from that. If you wanted to make sure even more, a quick anal douche shortly before you have sex just to rinse out the rectum would be fine. What you want to avoid when doing that is to have the water go too deep beyond the rectum where it can end up making more of a mess.

Along those lines, deeper enemas can be a possibility, but some people suggest they shouldn’t be done too often as they can over time lead to an imbalance in digestive bacteria, and they take a lot more time and effort to really get clean deeper. It’s also just generally unnecessary for most anal sex, but if you were wanting to engage in more extreme deep anal play then it would be a necessary preparation for most people.

You can always verify your cleanliness a little before you have sex by inserting a dildo, or even to a certain extent wearing a butt plug for 15 to 30 minutes prior to having sex.

Anonymous: is it mandatory to get an enema before any type of anal play or masturbation?

No. In fact, I would generally avoid an actual enema, which flushes out deeper, beyond the rectum and into the colon. Some people do regular anal douching (just washing out the rectum), while many just eat a balanced diet with a good amount of fiber and are generally clean enough without needing to clean out.

Anonymous: I’m trying solo anal play and I’ve never attempted any anal play before. How do I clean myself out properly to prevent accidents?

Everybody is a bit different in this regard, so you kind of just need to experiment and get to know your own body, but in general, with a reasonably healthy and high fiber diet, the rectum—which is where most anal sex and play occurs—stays empty except for right before the need to go to the bathroom. You can try some of your first play in the shower in order to have an easy way to clean up in the event of any sort of mess.

Some people do regular anal douching or even enemas, but they can be a hassle. Douching requires that you don’t get the water too deep or else you can end up causing more of a mess rather than just flushing out the rectum. Enemas, which usually go deeper, can be fine on occasion, but perhaps shouldn’t be done regularly due to the risk of causing an imbalance of good bacteria that aids digestion.

Chances are, however, that you can get by with just going to the bathroom to empty out, then playing shortly after. If you have a butt plug, insert that after going to the bathroom, then remove it before play and if it’s clean you’re probably good to go.

Anonymous: Anal sex with the last few partners I’ve had have been dirty/messy experiences. When i look down and see it happening it’s about as big a turn off as they come for both parties. I love fucking a woman’s ass but I feel like the reality of anal sex is very different than the super clean porn we see online. Do you have any advice on this?

Anal in porn is alway preceded by anal douching if not full blown enemas. In reality, while most people will be mostly clean most of the time assuming a healthy diet, etc., there is always the possibility of encountering fecal matter unless also doing anal douching beforehand. Some people don’t want to encounter any sort of mess when having anal and so douche every time. If done correctly, just flushing out the rectum and nothing beyond, this can be very effective, but too much or too deep and it can create a greater mess as well as pose a potential health risk if done too deep too excessively due to creating an imbalance of good bacteria essential to the digestion process. So I highly recommend reading up on the pros and cons of doing such a thing.

Otherwise, healthy diet, go to the bathroom an hour to 30 minutes before, and insert a butt plug 30 to 15 minutes before—the last helps with warmup and “activates” the colon a little bit, which can help move anything close by along that might potentially cause a mess during sex.

Anonymous: So, I’ve never tried anal. But I was wondering if there’s anything you have to do before taking part in anal? Like, for sanitation purposes haha

If you eat enough fiber, the rectum generally stays pretty clean and empty on its own except for right when you feel the need to go to the bathroom. So, as long as you go to the bathroom about half an hour before, you should be clean. I suggest experimenting on your own in the shower to familiarize yourself with that part of your body and to provide an easy way to clean in the event of any unexpected mess.

Some people choose to use an anal douche to flush out their rectum with warm water, but this isn’t strictly necessary for everyone and can take some practice to use just enough water to clean the rectum but not enough to go deeper into the colon. I suggest starting without this and only using it if you feel it’s necessary.

zz1035: Can add onto your anal prep advice for the anon… My wife and I have been doing anal for 20+ years… I think we have had 3 accidents. Just have a towel ready or wet wash cloth. Like you said go 10-15 mins before… I finger her ass and that gives me an idea if anal is going to be a go for the night…. And take your time and relax

Indeed.