Message: Fecal-Phobic but Love Anal

Anonymous: I love anal, but I’m new to it, and have some trouble getting past the fear of awkward accidents. I’m a bit fecal-phobic, and the idea of him getting any sort of” residue” terrifies me. I’d like to be able to do ATM sometimes. Any advice on prep?

First, accidents can happen and if you and a partner are engaging in anal play you should both be mature enough to accept that “risk” and recognize that it isn’t really that big of a deal in the event it does.

There are things you can do to mitigate the risk, however. Eating a balanced diet with a healthy amount of fiber does wonders to keep you fairly well cleaned out on its own. In general, the rectum does not hold any solid fecal matter except for when you feel the urge to use the restroom, and since most anal sex takes place entirely within the rectum, you’re mostly in the clear just from that. If you wanted to make sure even more, a quick anal douche shortly before you have sex just to rinse out the rectum would be fine. What you want to avoid when doing that is to have the water go too deep beyond the rectum where it can end up making more of a mess.

Along those lines, deeper enemas can be a possibility, but some people suggest they shouldn’t be done too often as they can over time lead to an imbalance in digestive bacteria, and they take a lot more time and effort to really get clean deeper. It’s also just generally unnecessary for most anal sex, but if you were wanting to engage in more extreme deep anal play then it would be a necessary preparation for most people.

You can always verify your cleanliness a little before you have sex by inserting a dildo, or even to a certain extent wearing a butt plug for 15 to 30 minutes prior to having sex.

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