An Anal Only Lifestyle forum member with MRKH, a developmental disorder results in the vaginal not fully forming and thus being impossible to have vaginal sex, posts an update asking for advice about telling a new boyfriend that she can only have anal sex.

I’m very new to dating. But I met someone back around Halloween. And we have gone on a couple of dates. We’re both students of our schedules don’t know what is Meetup the best, but I haven’t been seeing anyone else another as a as far as I know. He knows that I am a virgin. And finding a college guy that’s not slightly terrified of that fact is actually an impressive feat, but I don’t know how to go about bringing up the subject of wanting to have anal sex with him. It’s the only kind of sex I can have , outside of oral ofcourse. I just don’t know how to approach the situation. I don’t know if I need to tell him now about my personal situation, if I wait, if I just pretend that it’s not a big deal…

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I have a disease that makes it painful to have vaginal penetration and so I haven’t had sexual intercourse or an orgasm. To be honest I don’t really have that much of a sex drive at all. But I’ve heard that you actually can have an orgasm from anal sex and so I got curious. I’ve tried it on myself and my sex drive has gone up somewhat (now I actually fantasize about sex) but I can’t seem to get an orgasm or really get horny by it.

How long does it usually take before you can have an orgasm or enjoy it. How does guys usually respond to girls that only have anal sex, it seems quite taboo.

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Liza: Hi! Wanted to thank you so much for this blog and spreading anal only awareness <3! I’m a trans woman who had never lost my penile virginity, and me and my bf discussed continuing that after I get Sexual Reassignment Surgery. I’m really into the idea, and totally recommend other trans women into anal consider it! (Do remember to dilate though!)

Thanks for the message!

I think that’s a great idea, and really encourage it if it appeals to you. It makes perfect sense, really—if being anal only is something that you’ve always been and really identify with, why would you want to change that after getting a vagina?

Something that several other anal only trans women have brought up in the past is the idea of having SRS with a decorative vulva created, but not actually focusing on full functional construction with an actual vaginal canal. I don’t know whether this is something anyone has actually done, or whether it’s something surgeons will do, but it’s an interesting idea as well for those who are really committed to the idea of anal only and aren’t overly concerned about a fully functional vagina.

Whatever the goal in that regard, I recommend anal only for everyone interested!

Anonymous: I’m a young guy who’s always been exclusively into anal sex: I discovered sex through porn, and vaginal and clitoral action became major turn-offs very quickly for me. I never did vaginal nor touched a clit, and I want it to stay that way.

So far, I met all my partners through online dating sites, making extremely clear I’m into strict anal only (I can’t even stand it if a woman touches her clit during sex). I’m athletic, good looking and well endowed, and I’m open to different types of women provided they’re anal only, so I never had trouble getting laid so far.

At college, there’s this younger girl who’s very much into me, and who made very clear she’d like me to take her virginity and “teach her” how to fuck. She’s smart, funny, very hot, but she doesn’t know I’m anal only. We sort of kissed and messed around (no sex), and she seems to be quite submissive when hot.

On one hand, I really want to fuck her and “train” her, educate her into strict anal sex, and date her in the long term. I’m pretty sure she won’t freak out when I tell her I’m anal only (I touched her there through her clothes while she fondled my cock through my jeans, and she seemed to like it, she didn’t mind her crotch being left untouched). Her being a complete virgin makes me REALLY hot.

On the other hand, I never introduced a girl to anal sex, I always dated experienced women who knew what they wanted, so I’m uncertain what to do (I’m thinking about foreplay and licking and fingering her asshole gently for a start). And I sort of feel responsible for her, so even though the idea to get her into strict anal sex is incredibly hot to me, I’m wondering if her first sexual experience shouldn’t be more “standard”.

Thank you for your blog, which I knew from tumblr, and thanks in advance for your reply.

I encourage introducing her to it, provided she’s into the idea and willing to try. Talk with her about it, and be open about your needs and desires, so she knows up front what you expect from a partner and is fully informed going into it.

If she is willing, be sure to take it slow with her and really ease her into it while making sure to focus on her enjoyment and pleasure. Get her to love and crave it, and your pleasure will join hers soon enough.

As for a concern about her being introduced to anal first vs. vaginal, there are plenty of women who start with anal and stick with it for a long time before even trying vaginal, and there’s been a growing trend among younger women to go straight to anal only for a variety of reasons, which I encourage and think is a good thing, so I see no issue with starting her right out with anal only if she’s interested in trying it.

But, communicate and make it something that you explore together as partners, if you do go down that route. Good luck!

Jade: Hi, i never had a man in my life but i want to remain vaginally virgin. I bought a dildo 2 weeks ago to train me anally.

I kinda like it but i’m nowhere near to take true pleasure. Can you give me some advices?

That’s an excellent goal, I highly recommend staying a vaginal virgin and going anal only.

First of all, be patient. If you’ve just started exploring anal two weeks ago, you’re just getting started. Stick with it, and keep practicing and training regularly—every day, if you can. The more you make it your normal routine, the more quickly it will start to become very pleasurable and something you not only enjoy, but start to crave.

How do you ordinarily masturbate and orgasm? Does it involve vaginal penetration, or just clit stimulation? Especially while you’re getting started with anal, including clit stimulation if that’s what you already enjoy is not a bad thing—do it as often as possible, in fact, and try to give yourself as many orgasms as you can while masturbating anally. This helps to build up the association of anal and pleasure and unlocks the pleasures of anal. If, after you start to really enjoy anal on its own, you want to shift away from clit stimulation as well and only focus on anal pleasure, you can do that, but when getting started, combining anal with things you already like can be a good approach.

If your goal from the start is achieving an anal only orgasm, you can look at some of the strategies in our Guide to Anal Orgasms. Also be sure to read through the rest of the Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle for lots of other useful information.

Good luck, and feel free to follow up with more questions!

Anonymous: So I’m a vaginal virgin and I adopted my daughter to remain a vaginal virgin. My teen daughter snuck into my room and got on my laptop. I had your blog up and she asked me what anal only is and what clit denial is and why would someone like it. I told her I would talk to her later about it. so I’m kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place cuz I don’t know if I should explain it, I don’t know if I should encourage, her and I don’t know if I should tell her I do it and why. So maybe you can help me with what I should do

If she is an appropriate age to start talking about sex as a parent, then I think it’s perfectly fine to also talk about anal sex and the anal only lifestyle in an educational way. Sit down with her and have a normal, healthy conversation about it. If she wants to learn more, she’ll ask.

Annabee: So I stumbled upon your blog. it has opening me up to a new world. When I was preteen-teen I touch my clit and it felt kinda good. but once I was 16 it started feeling awkward. so never really masturbated that much. when I did with my clit it just felt weird in a way that made me not want to touch myself. almost depressed so I just didn’t masturbate that much and I really only did cuz I thought it was weird that all my friends were talking about how great it felt and I was the complete opposite I thought I was weird. fast forward to now I’m 30 and happy to say a vaginal Virgin I just found your blog and I thought I’d give anal a try so I bought a toy and some warming lube. I’ve tried a few times but haven’t been able to orgasm yet. One thing I do love seeing and doing is ride my dildo and watch my close pussy in the mirror but Just thought I would share my story and also see if you had any suggestions to help me orgasm from just anal.

Thanks for sharing, and I’m glad that you have found the blog helpful and inspirational.

Regarding anal only orgasms, you can try some of the tips in this article on the subject. It can take some time for some people to get to the point where anal orgasms are easy, but it’s well worth it once you get there. Some also find it easier with a partner but more difficult when just masturbating.

If you don’t like clitoral stimulation, you may not prefer to go down this path, but some like or prefer combining clitoral stimulation with anal penetration.

Good luck! The more you explore anal, the more you’re going to love it.

Anonymous: I am so happy this blog exists because for many years I felt like I was such a freak for thinking the things you and others post about on this blog.

I have never had vaginal sex with a girl, because it doesn’t interest me or appeal to me at all, and I never will. I’ve only ever fucked girls in the ass. It’s been hard, though, and lots of girls act like I’m some kind of freak for wanting this.

I truly think anal sex is the only way anyone should have sex, and that vaginal sex is not just inferior, it’s wrong and shouldn’t be done at all. There are so many reasons, it doesn’t feel as good, it isn’t intimate in the same way as anal, it totally ruins a woman’s arousal and mood, and it’s just so unappealing. Anal is natural, vaginal isn’t.

Even though it took a while, I have an anal only girlfriend who believes the same as me and is completely anal only like me. We’ve been together for about a year now and things couldn’t be better. We don’t use her pussy or clit at all and neither of us ever want to. So I’m really glad your blog helped me feel normal and like I could ask girls again about an anal only relationship.

Always remember there really isn’t any such thing as “normal” when it comes to sexual preference. Anal only may be less common, but it’s totally normal and there’s nothing at all wrong with it. All that matters is that you’re happy and that you find a partner who shares your interests and preferences.

I’m very happy to hear that you have found just that, and it sounds like you’re perfect for each other. Enjoy your anal only life together.

While it’s no secret that we are strong advocates in favor of going anal only, we here also strongly respect the fact that everyone is different and that everyone has the right to have whatever sort of sex works best for them personally and they enjoy the most. That said, this article is going to make the argument in favor of a global shift towards everyone becoming anal only and the benefits thereof.

The personal benefits of the anal only lifestyle are well documented already across this blog and through our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle, particularly in the article Reasons to Go Anal Only & Advantages of Abandoning Vaginal Sex. This article will instead focus on the cultural and societal reasons to go anal only.

Overpopulation is a Global Concern

It’s pretty well established at this point that the Earth is overpopulated, with climate change and other serious environmental and social issues becoming worse as a result. While sex may fundamentally exist for reproductive purposes, humans have repurposed it as a form of mutual pleasure, stress relief, and bonding, only intending it as a reproductive act for a fraction of sexual activity we engage in.

And yet, unwanted pregnancies are still quite a common thing, even with the use of birth control. Birth control isn’t perfect, and it’s easy to mess up or avoid using it due to the hassle or issues that come with it. Therefore, it’s time for anal to become the new norm instead and relegate vaginal for the rare scenario where one actually wants to deliberately become pregnant and have children.

Anal is Natural Birth Control

Expanding on the previous section, birth control has a lot of different negatives associated with it. Condoms are a hassle, often unpleasant, and easy to forget or try to justify not using. (Condoms provide more than just birth control, however, and should absolutely be used if having sex with a new partner who has not been tested to avoid the spread of sexually transmitted infections.) Hormonal birth control can mess up a woman’s libido and mood, or even cause more serious effects for some.

Anal is a natural form of birth control that is highly effective, is an extremely pleasurable and appealing form of sex in its own right, and doesn’t have any of the side effects of other forms of birth control. If anal is your birth control method, and you forego vaginal entirely in favor of it, it’s not something you’re going to forget or try to avoid—it’s something you’ll already love and want, so you’ll want to do it every time.

Societal Harmony Through Anal Sex

Everyone can enjoy anal sex and find the appeal in it, and engaging in it with a trusted partner fosters that trust and a sort of mutual empathy, helping each other become more intimate and better bonded. The more people have anal sex, the closer everyone will become and more accepting and trusting of each other. We live in a time where we could sorely use something to bring us all together again. Let’s let anal sex be that thing.

John: Hello, I’ve read some post where women choose to have only anal and never had vaginal sex. I think it’s good idea for straight male as well. I was interested in anal sex since my teens when I was a virgin. Later in college i met a girl, she was a virgin too. I didn’t want a relationship with her, so i wasn’t interested in taking her’s vaginal virginity, but wanted to have some casual sex. I convinced her into anal. This was my first sexual experience with other person. Later on I though maybe it’s quite good idea to have anal only. So every with girl I met since, I had either oral, manual or anal but never had “real sex”. I share this story because I truly think we can spread this culture across the world, and if not only women refuse to have vaginal but as well men, this cat get really viral. Many are thinking right now, it’s more complicated to find a partner for casual or serious relationship who would like to have such sexual life. Yes indeed, but you can always have oral or manual instead of vaginal till you date agrees to go anal.

I completely agree, the choice to be anal only and exclude vaginal sex completely benefits everyone, regardless of their gender. Anal is a more rewarding and appealing form of sex, and combining it with vaginal ultimately ends up degrading the purity of pleasure, intimacy, and reward that comes from anal (even if it can still be good).

It’s important not to think of vaginal as “real sex”, which results in thinking of anal as something lesser, which is far from the case. Instead, recognize that anal is just as real as any other form of sex, but vaginal is the least beneficial for everyone, and so is best kept as procreative sex only.

The choice to remain a vaginal virgin has grown in popularity in recent years, especially among women who prefer anal and the idea of staying anal only, but more men are showing that interest as well. If anal is what you want, and vaginal doesn’t interest you, it’s well worth the effort to go straight to pure anal only and never compromise for vaginal sex.