L: I’m 23, and I’ve never had sex. For a long time I felt like I was behind and really missing out, but more recently as I’ve learned more about anal only I’m actually glad that I didn’t have vaginal sex and lose my virginity with my pussy. I’ve been reading a lot, watching a lot of anal porn, and masturbating anally and I want to make my first time really special and train myself to be able to have double anal sex to lose my virginity and hopefully if it goes well, stay double anal only. I think it would be really fitting, not to mention exciting, to have saved myself for something special like this.

I’ve been wearing a butt plug most days, going bigger every month or so, and I’ve been masturbating with dildos a lot. I found I really like the feeling of a big stretch which is a good sign I suppose, and I’ve started using two dildos within a few minutes most sessions. Is there any advice you can give me to be ready to go straight to DAP the very first time without needing to warm up? And of course, how I can meet guys who are interested in DAP and who would be good to have sex with the first time?

I love your take on that, not missing out by not having sex, but saving yourself for the right thing. And I fully support and encourage your desire to go straight to double anal. You’re doing exactly the right things with your training and practice for it. Keep it up, work up to larger dildos until you’re at or exceeding average penis thickness every time you train, and start practicing trying to penetrate with both dildos together at the same time. You’ll get there, and once you can do that every day, you’re ready.

Finding two guys to lose your virginity to might be the harder thing, but it’s very doable. If you have two close male friends you could bring it up to them, or you could seek out people in a group sex lifestyle and see if anyone is interested. Men experienced with double anal would be best, but even just those who are open to or experienced with group sex could be quickly adapted to DAP. Just be clear you want it to be double anal only, no single anal, no vaginal, and set those ground rules immediately from the start.

Going anal only isn’t just a decision—it’s a process. It takes time, discipline, and the right mindset to fully disconnect from vaginal habits and embrace your butthole as your true sexual center. That transformation doesn’t happen overnight. But with intention and consistency, it can happen faster than you think.

Here’s a proven 90-day timeline to transition into a fully anal only lifestyle—mentally, physically, emotionally, and sexually.

Day 0: Your Decision Point

This is the moment everything changes. You decide: no more pussy. No more fingers, no more clit, no more “exceptions.” You’re not waiting for someone to give you permission. You’re giving it to yourself. From this moment on, your ass is your only sexual access point.

Now the real work begins.

Days 1–30: Detox and Foundation

Goals:

• Cut out all vaginal contact—no exceptions, not even “just touching.”
• Begin daily plug wear for at least 1–2 hours (working up as needed).
• Masturbate anally at least several times a week, including whenever cravings are hard to resist.
• Journal cravings or temptations and how you overcame them.
• Tell your partner (or yourself, if solo) that vaginal sex is no longer on the table.

The first month is about rewiring your brain and your habits. You’re not “depriving” yourself—you’re redirecting. Every urge toward vaginal contact becomes an opportunity to re-center around your ass. Expect resistance. That’s normal. Stay committed.

Support Tip:
Install a small but meaningful ritual—e.g., plugging up when you wake up, or lighting a candle before stretching—to reinforce that this is your new norm.

Days 31–60: Stretch and Surrender

Goals:

• Increase plug size and wear time—aim for a large plug 4–6 hours daily or overnight.
• Continue intentional anal masturbation only—no pussy contact even to climax.
• Replace all porn with anal only content (include double anal porn as often as possible).
• If in a relationship, continue to maintain anal only sex exclusively—no “occasional” pussy slip-ins.

This is the surrender phase. Your ass becomes your comfort, your craving, your release. The plug, toys and cock no longer feels foreign—it feels essential. Vaginal denial is no longer an active struggle. It’s just who you are now.

Support Tip:
Join online communities or forums (like this blog) where anal only is celebrated. Hearing others’ success stories reinforces your own.

Days 61–90: Integration and Identity

Goals:

• Reach full-time plug wear whenever not actively being penetrated.
• Work up to to long-term anal stretching goals, like larger toys or even double anal.
• Commit to long-term anal only, and don’t go back to vaginal just because you’re done with your initial challenge.

By this stage, anal only isn’t something you’re “trying.” It’s who you are. Your body responds differently. Your fantasies shift. Your hole is open, hungry, and fulfilled—and your pussy feels irrelevant, untouched, and sealed in the past.

Support Tip:
Mark Day 90 with a celebration. A full-day plug challenge. A DAP session. A new custom plug. Make it real. You’ve earned it.

Beyond Day 90: Lifelong, Plugged, Proud

Anal only isn’t a challenge—it’s your lifestyle now. You may still face the occasional temptation, but they lose power quickly. The further you get from vaginal contact, the more distant it feels. The more time you spend open, stretched, used and loved through your ass, the more right your body feels.

If you’re just starting this journey: don’t rush. But don’t doubt. The timeline works. Thousands of women have gone from curious to committed in 90 days or less—and never looked back.

Joslynn: I’m a trans woman and for about 2 years I’ve been trying to find the limit my ass can be stretched, almost every day. I can see I’ve definitely progressed, but I want it even looser. How do all the porn stars have such blown out assholes and are able to take huge toys, literally, 2 feet deep in their asses? How are they able to be very rapidly fisted? I know part of it is a lot of practice, but there has to be something else, right? What am I missing?

Thanks for your question, Joslynn, and for sharing your goals. What you’re describing is something a lot of people who are deep into anal play wonder at some point: what does it really take to reach those advanced levels of stretch, depth, and responsiveness? You’re right that consistent practice is a big part of it, but there are definitely other elements that go into what you’re seeing in extreme anal performers.

First, body type and anatomy matter. Some porn performers simply have a more naturally relaxed pelvic floor or rectal elasticity, which gives them an easier time going deeper or looser. Hormonal status, body size, and even connective tissue flexibility can all influence this. That doesn’t mean it’s unattainable — just that some people may progress more quickly.

Second, many of the stars who can take massive toys or hands rapidly have put in years of very specific training. Daily or near-daily play helps, but longer-duration stretching sessions (think 30–60 minutes minimum daily with large plugs or toys, often multiple hours a day) are often a key factor. Many performers use incremental toy sizing systems, work up slowly over time, and frequently revisit sizes they’ve already mastered to maintain openness.

You might also be seeing the effects of temporary gaping and preparation — often, stars warm up with trainers or hands well before filming. What you’re seeing on camera isn’t always just what their body can do “cold.” Some also use enemas or douches not just to clean but to soften and relax the lower rectum beforehand.

Lastly, don’t underestimate the mental side. A lot of what allows people to reach those extremes is a deep mental connection to submission, surrender, or accomplishment, and training your mind to associate big stretch with arousal, not fear.

You’re already doing a lot right. Keep listening to your body, celebrate your progress, and don’t rush pain or strain. Some of the deepest, most blown-out girls you see in porn got there over 5–10 years — and with plenty of trial and error. If you stay patient and intentional, you’ll keep making progress.

In my teens and early twenties, I strictly denied any and all access to my ass. Today, I’m in my early thirties and live an anal only lifestyle. Rather than dwelling on the time I wasted in my youth, I’d like to offer up some advice I learned along the way. Perhaps it will help some young readers begin their anal only journey before I did. Better late than never though, in my case!

1. Anal Only Does Not Happen Overnight

This isn’t a flip-the-switch transition. Your body needs time to adjust, and so does your mindset. Anal only isn’t just avoiding vaginal sex — it’s creating a new default. You’ll need time to stretch, to relax, and to retrain your response to arousal. At first, it may feel like you’re trying something new. Eventually, it feels like you’ve come home.

Don’t rush. Don’t force yourself. You don’t need to take large toys, or jump to double anal right away. The most important thing is consistency — giving your ass regular attention, and always using it as your only outlet for penetration. Your body will adapt if you give it a reason to.

2. Set Clear Boundaries with Yourself First

Before you talk to a partner, you need to make the decision for yourself. That means closing the door to vaginal sex completely, even when you’re alone. No fingers, no toys, no what-if fantasies. If you’re serious about going anal only, you need to build that boundary into your own habits and desires first.

That clarity makes it much easier to communicate with others, because you’re not negotiating — you’re sharing a truth you’ve already accepted.

3. Don’t Wait for a Partner to Make It Happen

Too many women wait for the “right guy” before they commit to anal only. But the best time to start is before you’re with someone — or even if you’re single. When you go anal only on your own terms, you stop shaping yourself around what others expect, and start building a foundation that someone else can join you on.

You’ll feel more confident, more in control, and more attracted to partners who actually match what you want.

4. Use Tools and Training with a Purpose

Butt plugs, dilators, toys — they’re all helpful, but only if you use them intentionally. Start small and go slow, but stay regular. Daily or near-daily plug wear (even just 30 minutes at first) can do wonders for building flexibility and comfort.

Choose toys based on what your body can handle comfortably with a little stretch — not what looks impressive. And always listen to your body. Discomfort is a sign to pause, not push.

5. Emotional Shifts Take Time Too

I didn’t expect the emotional rewiring that came with this shift. It’s not just about sensation — it’s about changing how you relate to your body, your boundaries, and your idea of sex itself. Letting go of vaginal sex was surprisingly freeing, and it brought me a kind of calm I never expected. Sex is no longer tied to fear of pregnancy or unwanted expectation. It’s something I fully choose. Don’t be surprised if this shift brings up feelings you didn’t anticipate. That’s part of what makes it real.

Monique: Recently I’ve been exploring my sexuality and I’ve discovered that I’m highly interested in anal stimulation. I know this might sound surprising, considering I’ve never had any kind of sexual intercourse, vaginal or anal, and I’ve only engaged in self-pleasure through anal stimulation with my fingers and toys never with another person.

My curiosity about anal arose when some of my female friends discussed having anal sex with their boyfriends as a way to remain virgins and avoid unwanted pregnancies. I was secretly fascinated by the idea, but more importantly, I discovered that when I explored myself, I genuinely enjoyed and preferred anal stimulation to vaginal. It’s a sensation that feels uniquely satisfying to me and since then I’ve abandoned any vaginal play.

I’m writing to ask if I might be part of the “Anal Only” community, even though I’ve never had any anal intercourse with another person. I hope you can help me make sense of my own desires and preferences. Am I part of this community, or is there a more appropriate term or category that fits my situation?

You absolutely are anal only! You haven’t had sex, but you choose to focus all your sexual stimulation/masturbation on anal only and that certainly counts. Consider yourself a proud member of the community and lifestyle.

I hope that when/if you choose to have sex with a partner in the future, you continue your anal only commitment.

Anal Slut: I’ve been reading your blog for many years, often while rubbing my clit. I’m in my late 20’s now but since I was younger I always loved anal and originally only had anal sex in lieu of vaginal for birth control reasons (long before I knew there was a community here).

It is now many years later and my girlfriend and I are experimenting with more and more anal (for both of us), previously we have always used clit stimulation and she loves making sure I orgasm which I obviously appreciate. However I have recently gotten obsessed again with anal and have started excluding all clitoral stimulation along with all vaginal other than cleaning.

I love the feeling of being so horny and I feel it is helping me feel arousal in my ass more than my pussy. I’m horny all the time compared to previously also. I love being a needy anal slut and I feel like my ass was made to be filled. I have fantasies of buttplug training until I have my ass filled 20+ hours a day. It is addictive and I cannot get enough.

I guess I just wanted to endorse clit denial for anyone who knows they really like anal but goes through phases, I think clit orgasms were killing my arousal like for literal weeks so I was never getting to the really good part of anal where your ass is trained and ready to go.

However I didn’t plan to do this long term, literally I thought I’d hate ignoring my clit and want to stop so I decided to see how long I could go after reading something in the archives here, but I expected it to be a few days max.

I’m worried what my girlfriend will think about my decision to continue this, even though I know I will have proper anal orgasms again – I have before many times- but always mixed somewhat with clit, either to be foreplay for anal penetration, edging me a bit so I can cum with something in my ass or getting my pussy eaten while getting my ass fingered.

Open to suggestions on sticking with clit denial long term, I love it but I have also woken up during the night rubbing my clit and I want to stop doing that.

Also open to suggestions on depraved anal toys, I’m very interested in larger girth toys as I am in lesbian relationship, I’m not worried about not being tight or anything. I have finally decided to upgrade from the jeweled butt plugs and have ordered silicone oval base ones and I’m hoping to start plugging overnight again.

Lastly just wanna say, I love this blog, please keep posting here!

Glad to hear that you’re embracing not only anal only but clit denial as well, and I highly encourage sticking with it for the same reasons that you’re discovering! Clit stimulation can be useful for transitioning to anal only, or for those who wouldn’t stay anal only otherwise, but for everyone else I completely encourage avoiding it entirely and focusing on anal pleasure.

I doubt your girlfriend will be bothered and will likely find it very enjoyable as well if clit denial is what you prefer and enjoy and just want anal orgasms from now on. As she gets on board with it, that will also help you to stick with it, especially if you ask her to help you stay focused on clit denial.

Numbing gels, tape, and other mild forms of chastity can help with avoiding it as you further adjust to long term clit denial! For more information and suggestions on sticking with clit denial, check out the page on our Guide about Clit Denial.

H Dean: For about the last 2 1/2 years my GF and I have been AO. An anal virgin prior to me introducing it to her, she requested we go AO within a week after her first anal orgasm – multiples, mind you. Over the last 2 1/2 years her ass has become quite receptive.

Now, my GF is a bit hesitant with the use of plugs. I introduced a Hush plug to her about a year and a half back. She said it was okay but tended to hurt after awhile. About 6 months ago I got a Square Pegg Medium sized egg plug. We started sporadic use of it shortly thereafter. Still she was hesitant.

It was on a warm day this summer I pushed a little and managed to get her to agree to using the plug. After installing it in her ass we left the house and went about our day. After returning to the house some five hours later I asked how her ass felt with the plug. Turns out she had actually forgotten it was in until certain movements reminded her of it.

Since that occasion we have used the plug only sporadically. Most recently I installed it after sex one night. It was in for about 8 hours while she slept and she didn’t seem to notice it.

So, why am I telling you this? Well, because I have discovered some very nice things about anal stretching:

First, once an ass is properly stretched entry is quite easy. Used to be that when my GF would get a little over exuberant and thrust her ass down on my cock so quickly it would cause pain from the sudden stretch. Since we have started plugging more frequently that no longer happens. In fact, if my cock is lubricated I can enter her in one quick thrust with zero pain.

Next, once stretched there the need for lube is lessened. For a long time we have only used saliva for lube. She would suck my cock and get it good and wet and then ease in. Now, she just rubs a little saliva on her ass and I can ease right in. The increased friction sends her over the top almost instantly and there is no pain.

Another benefit since using the square peg plug, so it seems, she has gained use of previously unused muscles. As most male anal enthusiasts know the sphincter tends to be the epicenter of sensation – it squeezes. Deep inside there tends to be far less constriction of your cock. However, at least after using this plug, her anal canal feels much like a sheath and I can feel far more sensation along the entire length of my cock.

Finally, while my GF was always quick to orgasm, she seems to orgasm more quickly and with greater intensity after making use of the plug.

In closing, and based recent experiences, I would highly recommend anal stretching for anyone who enjoys anal as we do. It’s proven quite beneficial.

Many of us love anal sex. Often drawn to butt play for its taboo-turned-thrilling nature, it’s the benefits of anal sex that keep us coming back—especially the incredible pleasure the act can bring. 

“The sensations of anal sex are mindblowing,” says Dr. Sakshi Tickoo, a Mumbai-based registered sexuality counselor. “For penis owners, it is like recreating a blow job, but with an element of uncertainty, as the internal anal muscles contract and relax on their own—which is quite the plot twist.

“For vulva owners, it creates a sense of thickness and fullness, which in turn stimulates the other clitoral structures and creates a dual stimulation by just stimulating one organ,” the doc adds. 

So, we know butt play is fun— but are there also actual physical and emotional benefits to having anal sex? Whether you’ve tried it before or are exploring the idea for the very first time, there are many reasons to make anal sex your private playtime choice.

Continue reading on My Imperfect Life

When it comes to butt stuff, ‘go big or go home’ isn’t the best advice. Instead, it’s best to start with something small, like one of these butt plugs aimed at newbies

As a one-time sex toy retail worker, I often noticed that when customers came into my store looking shifty-eyed and incapable of expressing what they actually wanted to buy, they were usually looking for a butt plug. Sometimes, I’d lead them to the butt plug section unprompted, just to watch sweet relief bloom on their face as I showed them what they had wanted all along.

It makes sense that so many people are skittish about trying anal play. It’s still hugely taboo and shrouded in misconceptions — like that it “makes you gay” (nope), has to hurt (nope) or will automatically be messy (not necessarily). Given how intimidating anal penetration can be, both physically and psychologically, it’s usually best to start with something small — like a finger or a beginner-friendly butt plug.

Butt plugs are different from other anal toys in that they’re designed, more-or-less, to stay put inside you. You can thrust them in and out like a dildo or a set of anal beads, but staying still is what they were made to do, so they do it very well. This makes them a popular pick for combining with masturbation or sex — they can provide some passive prostate stimulation during a blow job, enhance the sensation of vaginal sex or amp up your pleasure when you’re touching yourself. They’re also the comfiest and most practical choice if you want some surreptitious anal sensations in public, like while on a dinner date with your partner.

Continue reading on MEL Magazine

As we bring in the new year, it’s time for new year’s resolutions. If you’re a follower of this blog and you aren’t yourselves actively anal only yet, this is the time to go for it! Why wait any longer when you can commit to the anal only lifestyle you really want. If you’re single or don’t have a partner who wants to do it yet, you can do it on your own or communicate your wants and needs with them. If you have a willing partner, take the time and effort to work together and get to where you’re anal only full time.

If you are already anal only, consider if there are any new anal goals you want to achieve—clit denial, full time plugging, stretching with larger toys, double anal, or even going double anal only—and make it happen!

Happy Anal Only New Year!