Category: Anal Only Lifestyle

Forum: New to Forum but Anal Only for Years

I’ve been reading this site for years, it was one of the places my now-husband showed me to help learn about everything on my own a bit when we first met and he was getting me into all this. Now we’re married and always been anal only together (we do clit stim tho), meaning I too have always been anal only as he was my first ‘boyfriend’. Now I even have some piercing to help enforce our anal only lifestyle/vaginal denial. Mostly decided to finally join because I’ve been bored out of my skull (spring 2020!) and have also recently found that I can be marginally helpful and interesting about AOL

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Message: You Can Definitely Learn to Love Anal

Anonymous: I read the post last week that criticized you for encouraging women to learn to love anal and keep practicing if they don’t enjoy it. I think that was really unfair, because women can definitely learn to love anal. I know because I’m a woman who started out in her same position and hated anything to do with my ass but my husband when we were dating in college really wanted to do anal with me and we talked about it and I agreed to try because I loved and trusted him and he started slowly and gently and showed me that I could actually feel really good with something in my ass and over a few months got me to where I begged him to fuck my ass. We’re still together and six years later we’re in an anal only marriage.

Was it hard at first? Sometimes, yes, but because he helped me to see the appeal and made me want it, I was willing to put in the effort to first try what he wanted, and then start to want it myself. But if you don’t want it, you won’t put in that effort and you’ll resist and resent what he wants to try, and that leads to never enjoying it.

Thanks for sharing, and you’re exactly right. I think anyone can learn to love anal, but they have to want to learn it. And if they’re coming into it from a position of being pressured or resenting their partner for making them do something they don’t want to, chances are they won’t enjoy it.

But if you like the idea and want to learn how to do it right, that will go a long way towards making you love a cock up your ass.

Your Messages Are Welcomed

As a reminder to our readers, we always welcome your messages, questions, stories, and more. If you have anything that you would like to share or ask on this blog, please send us a message!

It doesn’t matter if it’s been asked before, or if you think your story isn’t interesting—we, and our readers, love hearing from you and want everyone to feel comfortable reaching out and sharing. It helps build this community, and encourages more people to step out of the shadows and share their own stories. And the more people there are openly talking about their love for anal only, the more it inspires others to feel comfortable trying it for themselves.

So don’t hesitate to contact us and share your anal only experiences, goals, dreams, questions or concerns.

Message: Anal Only Dating

Jim: Can you give an article on dating and how to approach those who you don’t know if they would be receptive to anal only or not?

Ah, the eternal question: how do I meet someone who shares the same sexual desires as me without scaring off people who might be into it but aren’t comfortable enough with me yet to say so?

This is actually the topic of a chapter in our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle, entitled Dating & Finding New Partners in the Anal Only Lifestyle.

Message: Not a Monolith

Anonymous: As a married woman who despises anal sex married to a man who has attempted to pressure me for years to go AO, I hope you understand anal is not the answer or even pleasurable for every woman. We are now divorcing over this issue.

I’m happy spaces like this exist for my soon to be ex husband, but in the same way his sexual wants are entirely valid, so are mine.

Not all women will eventually find anal enjoyable. Please understand that’s okay too. I think your blog can be very pushy that women can be ‘convinced’ to like anal, and if they don’t like it, they’ve just been doing it wrong, or had bad experiences with it. I’m sure that is sometimes the case, but not always. As someone who’s former partner spent years linking this blog to me, I just felt the need to come out and say this –

I don’t like anal, because it’s just not my preference, it physically doesn’t feel good to me. It doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t feel ‘dirty’. I just don’t like the sensation.

Thank you for sharing this message. It’s an important one. Not everyone does enjoy or prefer anal, and that’s okay.

That fact has been pointed out on this blog in the past, but as it has grown, and the majority of people reaching out have been those with an existing preference for, or open curiosity about anal sex, the tone has inadvertently ended up shifting somewhat, and I think it’s necessary to get a bit more grounded in recognizing that while it’s reasonable for someone to discuss anal sex and the anal only lifestyle with their partner, and try it together if they’re willing, not everyone is going to be interested or like it, and continuing to push them after they’ve made that clear will only push them away.

You can’t force liking anal or being anal only on someone, and trying to do it with someone who doesn’t enjoy it will backfire. Everyone has to be open and willing to try in order for something like anal only to work, and consent is essential in all things sexual.

The Inevitability of an Anal Only Future

It is both the goal and the projection of this blog that the anal only lifestyle ultimately becomes the norm for all or most of the world, with anal replacing vaginal sex as the default way for people to have sex, and vaginal becoming simply for reproductive purposes.

And as things continue to shift towards a greater and more widespread adoption of anal sex, normalizing it for a large percentage of the population, it can be interesting to look into the future and see where things may ultimately end up for anal sex and the anal only lifestyle.

Anal Will Become the Norm

We’re already seeing the public embrace of anal sex in recent years, with the majority of porn now largely anal in focus, mainstream film and television shifting their tone on anal from it being a misinformed punchline to something characters genuinely are including in their sex lives, and young people around the world rapidly increasing the frequency with which they practice anal sex themselves and in many cases having totally normalized it as an equal form of sex already.

This trend is only going to continue as the myths surrounding anal continue to fade away and information on safe and enjoyable anal sex becomes more easily available to more people. Including proper anal practices in sexual education classes would be a big part of this.

Coupled with the fact that anal is natural birth control and an easy way for girls to start having sex without worrying about getting pregnant, it’s highly probable that most young women in the coming generations will be focusing primarily or exclusively on anal.

Population Growth Needs to Reduce

As mentioned above, anal is the best and most natural birth control, with very little chance of unwanted pregnancy. Because sex is rarely intended for reproductive purposes, and many pregnancies are unplanned, simply switching to anal only will do a lot for slowing population growth, something that is desperately needed for the long-term sustainability of our species on this planet.

Mutual Pleasure Matters

Sex is about mutual pleasure and a shared connection, and anal provides both of these far better than vaginal. As people continue to discover this and try anal, then anal only, for themselves, the result will be widespread abandonment of vaginal sex.

Message: Don’t Lose Your Vaginal Virginity

Anonymous: I was never interested in vaginal sex, my first time was anal but later i ended up losing my vaginal virginity so i could feel more “normal” and i regret it deeply. So i just want to tell all the virgin women who read this blog, don’t lose your vaginal virginity. You will regret it like i did.

I agree, for those who prefer anal and are vaginal virgins, it’s much better to stay anal only and not bother with vaginal sex. If someone really wants to try both, it can be reasonable to compare both—you’ll almost definitely end up preferring anal anyway—but if you don’t want to give up your vaginal virginity, don’t do it. You will regret it.

You can always try vaginal later if you change your mind, but you can’t become a vaginal virgin again, and the biggest regret of most women who started with anal and then tried vaginal later is wasting their vaginal virginity on discovering that they hated vaginal and just wanted to go back to anal only.

Message: I Hate My Pussy

Anonymous: I’m a girl and i don’t wanna be a boy but I just hate having a pussy. It’s been 5 years since I went anal only but during this períod i touched my clit many times, to avoid touching my clit i avoid getting turned on with pictures and videos. I don’t know what to do anymore i just wish i didn’t have a clit cause i think that someone is only 100% anal only if they dont touch their pussy ever again.

It sounds like you hate your pussy because it tempts you for stimulation and you find it hard to resist, which conflicts with your strong desire to be pure anal only.

I would encourage you to step back and reassess things a little bit. Yes, you have a pussy. Yes, it can cry out for stimulation and beg to be touched sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you need to use it. You have an asshole to play with instead. When you get horny and feel the urge to rub your clit, finger and play with your asshole instead. Do this multiple times a day and over time, your urges will shift away from your clit.

You can also use numbing gels like orajel, tape over your pussy, a chastity belt, backless panties, and a variety of other things to help yourself move away from your clit and towards being fully anal only without clit stimulation.

That said, everyone has their own definition of what it is to be anal only, and for many women, that includes some or even lots of clitoral stimulation. If you really struggle without your clit, maybe being anal only for you should mean no vaginal penetration but the occasional clit stimulation if you need to without feeling guilty about it. Ultimately, it’s up to you.

Don’t hate yourself or who you are or even parts of yourself. Yes, you may choose to be anal only, and that’s a great thing, which means that your pussy isn’t part of sex for you, but it is still a part of your body, and you can choose to love it in its own way, how it’s always empty and unused and shows how horny you are while you ignore it and play with your better hole instead.

Vaginas Aren’t Useless, But They Aren’t For Sex

A common element of discussions of the anal only lifestyle is to good-naturedly refer to vaginas as “useless”. Most people understand what is meant here, and that it refers to a sexual context within the anal only lifestyle, where anal sex is so much better at everything that it renders vaginal sex pointless and vaginal sex useless.

In reality, though, we of course know that vaginas have a very important use to the human race: reproduction. The vagina is wonderful in that regard, optimized for that purpose, efficiently designed for impregnation and giving birth.

Vaginas aren’t, however, efficiently designed for recreational sex, which is the vast majority of what we humans want to engage in. The vast majority of the time we have sex, we’re seeking pleasure, intimacy, bonding, release, relaxation, and more. Having kids isn’t part of it at all except for when we actually plan and decide to start a family.

And because of that, anal provides a better option for everything else: better pleasure, better intimacy, better bonding, better orgasms. So if you aren’t trying to have kids right now, vaginas are actually pretty useless!

Message: Anal Only Not Desirable In Mainstream Porn?

Anonymous: Okay, so I know that half of female pornstars enjoy (or even prefer anal) anal and has cum hard from anal. I read that there are pornstars that want to go anal only in porn as well as in their personal life, but why do producers see anal only as undesirable? I do understand why they want the girls who prefer anal to still do vaginal for money-related reasons or bcuz of the audience who complain that they do too much anal

It comes down to professionals not wanting to limit themselves and their earning potential, usually. While a growing number of people prefer to watch anal-centric or anal only porn, there’s still a big market of people who want to see vaginal and other things, so porn actors often will do everything in order to be desired by and make money from all the different audiences.

However, I hope to see more specialization in the future, with actors refusing to do vaginal scenes and only do pure anal. Viewer’s interests drive porn trends to some extent, but porn trends ultimately also help drive what people are interested in, so a shift to anal only in porn will get more and more people into pure anal in their own lives and in turn increase the demand for pure anal porn.