This message was originally posted to the Anal Only Bdsmlr blog, and is being cross-posted here.

Anonymous: You keep enconraging gapes and double anal. They’re indeed a very sexy thing, but in reality wouldn’t you be afrait if the one good hole get’s loose there’s nothing to enjoy anymore?

While in fantasy, some people like the idea of women being stretched out to the point that they can’t enjoy even anal anymore, that doesn’t really happen in real life aside from major injury and nerve damage.

Gapes are just the result of learning to control your anal muscles and keep them relaxed open. Because you have that control, you can also let them tighten back up again too, when you’re ready to do so.

Stretching from increased usage, whether from larger partners, larger toys, or from double anal, doesn’t mean that you’re always loose, it just increases your upper limit of comfortable stretching. You can still stay tight when you want to have sex that way, and enjoy smaller penetration as well. Women like Roxy Raye, who can have massive gapes and enjoy huge toys, still close up tight after and can have “normal” anal sex too.

That said, some women simply prefer larger penetrations and over time may find that they want to focus on large toys or double anal, because thats what gives them the most pleasure, and that’s perfectly fine as well if it’s what they want and they’re able to sustain it.

If you’ve followed us for a while, you’re probably familiar with our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle, which has been a part of this website for the past year since moving off Tumblr.

It’s always going to be a freely available resource as part of this blog for those who want to learn more about anal sex and the anal only lifestyle, but I’m happy to announce that you can also purchase it in an ebook format through Amazon as well, if that’s how you prefer to do your reading!

It can be a good resource if you’re just getting started, and it can make a good gift for friends who might be interested in anal or going anal only. Either way, it helps support this blog and the greater anal only community.

And, if you’re looking for another way to support the anal only community, consider becoming a Patron!

Anonymous: Hello. I’ve been with my husband for about three years and a half now, we’ve been married for about two years. When we met, I had never done anal, but he gradually introduced me to it. At one point, we were doing it quite often (every time we had sex, in fact), and that’s when he confessed to me that he was anal only, and that he only did vaginal sex with me in hope it’d change and I’d agree to switch to anal only with him. I tried anal only for a few months, and I finally agreed to switch. He asked me for marriage very shortly after that (I was 28), obviously I agreed (he’s gorgeous, I’m very much in love, and I really enjoy anal). It was a bit strange to think I’d nearly have no vaginal sex for the rest of my life, but eventually it became normal to me.

My husband is a blue collar worker, and he’s usually very tired when he comes home from work, so we generally fuck about three to four times a week. With the virus outbreak, however, we’re both trapped home, and he’s fucking me every day – several times a day, actually, up to four times a day. It’s to the point I woke up in bed several times with his cock deep inside my ass, plowing me while I was asleep. I’m not used to this at all, but I don’t want to turn him down: sex is a very good way for him to get the stress out – so far, everything is going fine at home despite the situation, and I want it to stay that way. I tried getting him off with blowjobs, but he’s always going after my ass no matter what.

What could I do to avoid being sore, and to be able to take it all? Apparently, this crisis will last for quite some time, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to provide anal sex at that frequency for that long. So far, I don’t feel sore and I’m having pleasure, but I’m a bit worried. Are there creams I could use? Will I gape permanently? My husband marvels about the gape I have lately and he jokes about it, but I’m worried about my ass not being able to close properly in the long term. How could I increase my sex drive to get closer to his? I talked to him about it a bit, and he told me to stop touching myself (I still touch my clit during sex, even if it has always annoyed him) – would that change anything?

Thank you for your work and for your answer.

Thank you for sharing, and it sounds like you have a great anal only relationship. Well done to the both of you for being able to make it work.

Daily anal, even multiple times a day like you’re doing right now, can be entirely manageable and safe, so long as your body is ready and adjusted to it. If it doesn’t hurt and you aren’t sore, then there’s nothing really to worry about. Listen to your body. If you start getting sore, maybe try a little less for a couple days. But really, once you get to where you can have anal four times a day every day, or more, without pain or significant soreness, you should be able to keep doing that indefinitely. Yes, you will likely relax more as a result and have a bigger gape, because your ass is staying more warmed up, but that is not a bad thing and if you take a break from it, it will get tighter again. And remember, being warmed up and relaxed does not mean being loose. It just means that you’re more flexible and elastic and need less preparation. It sounds like your husband appreciates you being warmed up and gaping, so it’s not a bad thing at all! It won’t harm you, so long as you aren’t injuring yourself, and if it doesn’t hurt, you aren’t.

As for higher sex drive, definitely try going without clit play and focusing on pure anal pleasure. If you can orgasm just from anal, try doing only that going forward. If you can’t, try to learn by going without clit stimulation for a while. Or if you really need to cum, use your clit the last time you have sex at the end of the day only. You could also try edging with your clit but not using it to actually orgasm.

Good luck to the both of you, especially in this trying time. With any luck you’ll be able to use the time to get closer and further develop and improve your anal only lifestyle in ways that you’ll both be able to enjoy for the rest of your lives!

I’ve been dating a new guy for 6 months or so. The sex is terrific. He’s very relaxed and sex positive. He is very sensitive around his anus and loves for me to play with it. He also loves mine. So we’ve starting talking about anal sex. I told him that I used to do it quite a bit with my husband 15 or so years ago. He asked, why did you stop? and I really had to think about it – so long ago – I said I thought we were just in a phase and then we lost interest.

Well… I suddenly remembered WHY we stopped. 15 years ago I had my 3rd and last baby. During that pregnancy I had terrible hemorrhoids. They cleared up years ago and I can’t remember the last time they bothered me. However, having hemorrhoids stretches out the tissues, and now I’m a little worried about being, well, ruined back there.

Has anyone else dealt with this? I guess I could “test things out” with a dildo or vibrator. The whole thought of it is making me nervous which I know moves things in the wrong direction. I’m not feeling forced into this. I really want to try it! But I also want it to go well.

Any thoughts? Suggestions?

CaptCorriander

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Anonymous: My girlfriend and I have been talking about going anal only lately and we have some questions. We both like the idea of it, and she might honestly want it even more than me, but we want to make sure that we can do it safely and sustainably.

We do anal probably 85% of the time or more right now but sometimes she gets sore or doesn’t feel up to doing it and that’s when we do vaginal just as a backup but it isn’t what we like doing. But if we go anal only, what do we do in those situations?

We’ve noticed that when we have anal every day she stays more relaxed, does this mean she’s getting looser and will that cause any problems later?

Thanks for any advice you can give.

First of all, if you’re considering going anal only, I say go for it and give it a try. The best way to determine if it’s really for you is to just dive in and do it. Give yourself a month or two challenge to commit to it at first, and that will let you see what it’s really like and time to work out any particular issues. And then by the end of that trial period, decide if you want to extend it further, or just commit to it long term from there.

As for those times that soreness or preparation keep her from wanting to do anal, you’ll find as you shift to only doing anal that soreness generally goes away pretty quickly and as anal becomes something you do every time, her body will adjust to it and generally stop being sore even if it’s something you do daily. When she doesn’t feel well or has digestion issues that get in the way of doing anal, taking a break for a day or so to focus on oral instead can serve as a viable substitute instead of vaginal.

Her staying more relaxed when doing anal daily is actually what I was talking about above, and how it will keep her from getting sore as easily. Relaxed anal muscles don’t mean she’s getting loose, it just means she’s staying relaxed and warmed up due to more regularly using those muscles. It’s not a health concern, it’s actually keeping her safer by always being warmed up and ready for sex and so less prone to injury.

It sounds like you’re in the perfect place to shift to anal only, you just need to make that last jump now. Good luck!

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Vildan: I am a hemorrhoid patient, would it prevent me from having anal sex?

Not necessarily, it depends on the nature of the hemorrhoids and the advice of your doctor. I am not a medical professional, and always recommend consulting with a doctor first when you have questions of this nature, but I will share that other people with hemorrhoids have reported that careful anal play and even anal sex can help them by keeping their anal muscles more stretched and relaxed and elastic, which reduces strain on the area and minimizes the risk of irritating the hemorrhoids.

You want to take care with your anal training and sex and really be gentle and careful to avoid that irritation, but it’s likely that you can enjoy anal if it’s what you want.

If you’ve followed us for a while, you’re probably familiar with our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle, which has been a part of this website for the past year since moving off Tumblr.

It’s always going to be a freely available resource as part of this blog for those who want to learn more about anal sex and the anal only lifestyle, but I’m happy to announce that you can also purchase it in an ebook format through Amazon as well, if that’s how you prefer to do your reading!

It can be a good resource if you’re just getting started, and it can make a good gift for friends who might be interested in anal or going anal only. Either way, it helps support this blog and the greater anal only community.

And, if you’re looking for another way to support the anal only community, consider becoming a Patron!

Anonymous: According to Wikipedia, “in young sexually active women, sexual activity is the cause of 75–90% of bladder infections, with the risk of infection related to the frequency of sex.”

It sounds to me like those infections could only occur when the penis is in close proximity to the urethra, as is the case with vaginal sex.

Conversely, a sexuality focused exclusively on the anus, with careful avoidance of the vagina and urethral area, would greatly reduce the incidence of such infections.

That seems highly likely, and corresponds with what I’ve heard from talking with some women who are anal only—UTIs were much more common for them with vaginal sex, and have largely gone away since shifting focus to anal sex and going anal only.

Of course, one must still take care with hygiene from anal sex, but the increased distance between the urethra and the anus can help significantly, and women who have anal sex regularly tend to have a better handle on anal hygiene overall than other women.

One more of already so many reasons that anal sex is superior and that anal only is the best way to go.

Hi, everyone. My name is Daiane, I’m 25 years old and today marks my Anal Only Lifestyle third anniversary. On October 6th, 2016, I decided to tell my boyfriend at the time I was going to stop having vaginal altogether and switch exclusively to anal sex. Some of the reasons that led me to this decision:

I am one of the unlucky ones who are severely allergic to birth control pills. Doesn’t matter what brand I take or how many doctors I talk to, I will always get severe side effects from taking the pill. They are so bad they would pretty much make me prefer not to have sex.

Men simply do not like using condoms, period. Neither my tinder hookups, neither boyfriends liked the rubber. I would give them extra thin ones I bought myself and they would still not have a good time wearing them.

Before switching to anal sex, I had had two close pregnancy calls and I don’t ever want to go through that again. The first time me and my boyfriend were a bit drunk having sex and only 24 hours after we had sex I noticed the condom had ruptured. The second time I really was irresponsible and didn’t care, but I eventually had my period and everything worked out.

I actually like anal sex. I like the pain that comes with it, I like the taboo, I like the domination aspect of anal sex and I like that my boyfriend likes it.

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Sex during pregnancy is highly individual. Some people experience higher libidos when pregnant, some have lower libidos, and some don’t see much of a change. If you do want to have sex during pregnancy, it’s safe, unless your doctor tells you otherwise. And that includes anal sex. So if you usually enjoy backdoor play, there’s no reason to stop having while pregnant.

“Anal sex while pregnant can be completely safe and enjoyable,” says Jennifer Driver, sex educator State Policy Director at the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS). “However, as with any sexual activity (pregnant or not), there are things to consider before engaging. For example, it is important to be aware of and clearly communicate comfort levels, express what is enjoyable and what is not, and have an understanding of both your own and your partner’s STI status.” As always with anal sex, you should use lube and be sure to clean the penis or sex toy — or change condoms — between anal sex and vaginal sex to avoid transferring bacteria.

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