Month: June 2016

Message: Training Myself to Orgasm From Anal

Anonymous: Lately I’ve been training myself to orgasm from anal and so far I barely have to touch my pussy to cum. I hope one day I don’t have to touch it at all and still cum. I’m planning on getting my boyfriend to take my anal virginity before my vaginal virginity. I can’t wait and I love this blog for giving me so much good advice.

That’s fantastic—I’m glad to hear it, and with any luck you’ll be able to keep reducing the amount of vaginal/clitoral stimulation needed to orgasm until you don’t need it at all anymore during anal. Good luck!

I think it’s great you want to lose your anal virginity first, but I would be remiss to go without encouraging you to just stay anal only at that point and not bother with your vaginal virginity at all. Of course, some are curious to try both, and that’s fair if it’s what you really want, but I’d at least consider staying an anal only vaginal virgin.

Message: Staying a Vaginal Virgin Now Makes Me Feel Special

Anonymous: Hi, I’m the vaginal virgin who wrote three days ago. I’ve talked a lot with my boyfriend, and he convinced me I’m naturally anal. His main point is that I never feel the need to stimulate my clitoris (he certainly doesn’t) during our sex – I did it when I started my sexuality, but my partners disliked it so I stopped, and I never felt the urge to do it again. At first I felt rejected when he told me he wanted me to stay a vaginal virgin, but now it makes me feel special. We’re going to marry!

I’m glad the two of you were able to come to a mutually agreeable decision and both understand where each other is coming from. If you’ve been anal only without clitoral stimulation for an extended period of time and you enjoy it and feel no urge to play with your clit during, then it is certainly true that anal only is a fairly natural thing for you.

Good luck, and congratulations!

Message: He Slid So Easily In My Ass, Now We’re Anal Only

Anonymous: About 2 months ago I had just started dating my boyfriend. I let him fuck me in the pussy a couple times, afraid to bring up anal with him. But one time as we were falling asleep he went to put it in from behind me and it slid so easily into my ass, no lube, no prep, and he knew then that I was a wonderful anal queen. He words “fuck my cock just slid right into your ass, you’re a good fucking slut, this is the only hole I’m gonna fuck from now on.” I’m in love 😘

A good example of why it’s important to train your ass regularly if you want to be an anal only girl. It not only makes it much easier for you, it makes new partners much more amenable to the idea of fucking you primarily or entirely in the ass because of less effort being required vs. having to prepare and warm up each time.

Of course, in your case, you were benefited by a partner who prefers anal already and was happy to take the initiative to go anal only when given the right sign. Very lucky—enjoy!

Message: He Treasures My Vaginal Virginity

Anonymous: Hi, I’m the vaginal virgin from 06/04/2016. It’s true I looked for anal, but it was just to give my future husband the gift of my virginity… and now that I’m about to marry my partner, he doesn’t want to hear about vaginal whatsoever. He’s telling me he does treasure my virginity, because to him it’s very special to fuck my ass while my pussy is still sealed, but I’m afraid I’m losing something, and the prospect of never ever doing vaginal scares me, even though I don’t feel frustrated at all.

It sounds like at least part of the problem is that the two of you had different expectations when you started an anal exclusive relationship—you wanted anal to preserve your vaginal virginity to give as a gift, while he perhaps wanted anal simply because he prefers anal and he finds being anal only (and in your case completely pure anal only, because you’ve never had vaginal sex) appealing and would like to remain that way.

I don’t advocate vaginal sex, and I think anal and anal only is always better, and I encourage remaining anal only if you’ve successfully done so this far and remain a vaginal virgin. That said, that’s only my opinion, and I also don’t advocate anal only relationships unless everyone in the relationship is on board and embraces the idea.

What are your concerns specifically, simply that you want to also experience vaginal sex and don’t want to eliminate the possibility of ever doing so? Most anal only couples will still have vaginal sex in order to have children, they just limit it to reproductive purposes rather than recreational sex—so if you chose to remain anal only but plan to have children at some point, you would undoubtedly be having vaginal sex then. Or perhaps you also feel hurt in some way because you approached this as giving him the gift of your virginity and his desire to remain anal only feels like a rejection of that gift?

You’re going to have to honestly and openly communicate with him about what both of you want. Part of the disconnect may be because from your perspective you were using an alternate form of sex for now so that you could give him the “ultimate” form of sexual intercourse—vaginal—after getting married; but from his perspective, being anal only was already the ultimate form of sex and much preferred to vaginal. That’s only speculation on my part, of course, and you’ll need to discuss it with him to figure out your motivations and desires for sure. Good luck, and I hope you’re able to work it out in a way acceptable to the both of you.

Message: Confused Why My Fiance Wants Me To Stay Anal Only

Anonymous: Hi! I wanted to stay a virgin until marriage, so when I started my sexuality, I sought anal only fuck buddies. I met a few guys and settled with a partner. Years passed, we got closer and even lived together for the past year, our love became clear, and we want to marry. But when the subject of vaginal sex was brought up, he told me he wanted to stay anal only. He told me he enjoyed I stayed a virgin, and to him it was obvious I was an anal woman. It’s true I enjoy our sex, but now I’m confused.

What’s to be confused about? You presented yourself as anal only, your partner accepted you as this and was happy with it as well, and he would like you to stay that way even after marriage. It’s no surprise that most men prefer anal and when presented with the option to be in an anal only relationship, many are eager to maintain that. You should discuss it more with him. Are you satisfied with anal sex? Do you enjoy it? Does the idea of remaining anal only and continuing to be a vaginal virgin appeal to you in any way as some sort of turn on?

Anal Only June

dazedly-daisy: At the end of May, Sir informed me that as of June 1st, my cunt will be off limits. That means, no touching and absolutely no cumming. Instead, He demanded I go to work everyday plugged with a wider plug. I am allowed to have one anal only orgasm per day. Of course, He keeps His right to either forbid that one orgasm or award me with more, if and when He decides.

Yesterday was day one. I had quite a difficult day at work, but being plugged, feeling my asshole stretched, helped me get through the day.

After I got home, I had one mind-blowing anal orgasm.

Thank You Sir.

Message: Advice on Toys for Anal Play

Anonymous: Hi, I am 19 years old lesbian and I am an Anal virgin, so me and my girlfriend want to try it since we both get turned on by seeing anything that is related to Anal sex and my girlfriend is somehow dominant and she always told me that any sub/Dom relationship is nothing without Anal play. And for that I need your expert advice about what kind of toys should we start with and witch brand and type is better (glass, silicone or metal) then to witch ones should we upgrade, thanks

Glass, silicone or metal is a subject of great debate and really comes down to personal preference. They’re all good but each have advantages and disadvantages. Silicone has some give to it and so can be more comfortable, but can’t be used with silicone lube. Glass and metal can be used with any lube but are heavier and have no give at all.

I usually recommend (and it seems a number of other people have been lately as well!) the Tantus Ryder as a starter plug. It’s 1.5″ diameter at its widest point, silicone, and commonly available online for around $20. If you can’t yet fit something 1.5″ diameter, I’d suggest getting up to near that point with fingers first. Once you can fit three or so fingers, you’re probably ready to try that plug.

I have less recommendations to give for dildos—there are many out there, of many different sizes. Figure out what sort of size will work for you right now, and search for compatible toys. Tantus, Bad Dragon and SquarePeg toys are all popular manufacturers of high quality silicone toys, but some of them can get to be fairly expensive.