Anonymous: do you know of any anal only porn star?

Aurora Jolie was. She never had vaginal sex on camera and claimed to be a vaginal virgin for at least most of her career. After she retired, she did lose her virginity, but didn’t enjoy vaginal sex and went back to being anal only in her personal life.

Anonymous: I’m an 18 year old virgin and your blog gets me really turned on. I fantasise about only ever being fucked in the ass and remaining a pussy virgin… I just need to find a man who wants the same.

vaginalisdead: Well, first of all, I’m glad that you like my blog and that it helps to get you off. Secondly, I’m very pleased to see that you’ve clearly got the right idea about sex, and I wish you the best of luck in achieving your goal of only ever taking it up your fuckhole your entire life. However, I would advise you not to think of it as being a “pussy virgin” but rather as a lifetime of having the one and only, the right way of sex. It looks like your entire sexual energy is already concentrated on your fuckhole (“asshole”), so why bother with thinking about anything else?

Anonymous: Hello, I really need an advice. I’m a 22 years old virgin woman and I’ve been recently started being interested in the anal only lifestyle. I am a complete virgin (never had any kind of sex, not even oral) and intended to stay like that until marriage. But as I get older I want sex even more, but at the same time I don’t want to break the promise I made myself. So that’s pretty much why I decided to become an AO. But the problem is, how do I tell this to potential boyfriends? Thanks!

analk1ng: You’re wrong in thinking this is a problem. It isn’t.

You don’t have to tell potential boyfriends anything about your sexual preferences. If they are serious about you then they will accept you as you are. And they should count themselves the lucky ones for having a girlfriend willing to commit to AO with them, something that most men can only dream about.

They’ll either be pleasantly surprised or very quickly realize that with something much better available every time the two of you have sex, that they’re never going to miss your vagina at all.

To add to this excellent comment, I would also suggest that you shouldn’t simply do this to “preserve your virginity” until marriage, which still puts your vagina front and center and has it dictating your actions. Instead, just focus on anal and how much fun and pleasure it can give you, and don’t worry about your vagina at all, now or in the future. If you want to children, then use it for that, but otherwise why bother?

Anonymous: I’m in college, and I’m a virgin. The idea of vaginal sex doesn’t appeal to me at all and I’m only turned on by the idea of anal sex. I want to stay a vaginal virgin and make it clear that my vagina is OFF LIMITS. Do you have any suggestions?

The number one approach to this should be communication. This can be tricky with a new partner, however, because while some guys will be totally okay with you wanting anal only, others will be scared off or become uninterested. There are, unfortunately, plenty of guys out there who don’t respect what their partner wants or think that they can convince you over time to want to try vaginal sex after being anal only for a while. (The same thing happens with girls who are vaginal only and have partners who want to try anal.) It’s important to stand anyone who tries to push you to do things you don’t want to do. If you want to be anal only, make it clear and insist that any partners respect your choices.

In the meantime, if you haven’t already, you should start practicing and training your ass with your fingers, dildos and butt plugs. You want to make it so that you can easily get fucked in the ass so it’s a viable alternative to vaginal for a partner. If it’s something you can easily do and make simple and enjoyable, partners may be much more willing to go along with it.

You can also give nonverbal hints by wearing a butt plug when you’re ready to have sex with someone and tell them you only want anal. The sight of your plugged ass might turn them on further and make them more open to the idea.

Tape over your pussy to block access or “ANAL ONLY” written over it are possibilities as well.

When we first started dating, he liked me but also it was because even though he had sex with his wife, only regular sex, it was borring and repetitive as he put it.

I started to go out with him when I was 18, he was 38. I knew then he wanted no regular sex. So it all started with me giving him a lot of oral and anal sex. We where meeting like 5 days a week while dating, with sex every time.

When I was 22, and he was 42 was when we got married. Everything has been perfect, he is an incredible husband. But the sex still continued with mostly oral and some anal.

We have been together 10 years, married 6 ½, we still have sex at least 5 times a week, but I am still a virgin.

He has a son, we have decided not to have children.

I am not complaining about my sex life, but I am wondering if this is an unusual situation. I can’t be the only one.

A lot of people respond in a vaguely “well, if you’re happy…” sort of way while also implying that he’s abusing her or is secretly gay. She responds again to clarify that anal sex is very enjoyable to her.

The sex is very good, I enjoy giving him oral and have found anal to be very stimulating and orgasmic sometimes.

Unfortunately, not a single person responds in a truly supportive way to let her know that there are others out there who choose to be exactly the same way and love it and that there’s nothing wrong with it if everyone’s happy with it.

Perhaps some other anal only women need to pitch in and give their point of view, encouraging her to remain anal only and value and enjoy her vaginal virginity.

A few years ago, I had the chance to lose my virginity, but I didn’t. For a while this bothered me, but now I’m happy I didn’t do it, because back then I didn’t know how pleasurable anal sex was for me. I would have ended up having mildly uncomfortable vaginal sex for sure.

And now I’m happy, because the thought of keeping a virgin pussy turns me on a lot. It wouldn’t have been a big deal if I HAD lost my pussy virginity, but I still think this is a very nice opportunity I have, so I am thankful for that “missed chance” You never know! 🙂

I think that’s exactly the right attitude to have! For someone who has gone anal only, it’s not really a big deal if you’ve had more experience already and tried vaginal before deciding that it wasn’t for you and moving to anal—but if you already know that before trying and choose to stay a vaginal virgin for your own reasons and enjoyment, that can be a pretty fun and sexy little bonus for yourself.

Anonymous: Hey, can I ask something? What would guys think about an anal-only type of girl? (One that can’t have vaginal sex because she’s waiting). Would they freak out? Would they not mind? Answer this, this is very important. Thanks!

Just as different women have wildly differing opinions about sex, so do men. Some men would want vaginal sex more and some would want both, while others would think they were the luckiest guy in the world if they met a girl who was anal only. It’s going to depend on each specific guy and his own preferences.

The best you can do is explain that you only want to have anal sex and remain a vaginal virgin and hope he is understanding and supportive.

However, it sounds like you don’t want to remain anal only indefinitely—only until you meet the right person or get married. That’s not really consistent with the anal only lifestyle, as you’re still prioritizing your vagina long-term and only going anal only in the short-term to “preserve” it until later. My advice would instead be to only do vaginal if and when you plan to have children, and stick with anal otherwise.

I’ve seen a bunch of people who started off vaginal, but then have gone anal only.

Are there any couples who planned to go anal only from the beginning? Like from a virginity fetish, or they did anal only before marriage to preserve virginity, but then decided to stick with it exclusively after marriage?

(Also wonder if there are any girls who started out doing the anal only hetero thing, and then decided they were lesbian and gave up on men).

There certainly are women who started with anal and decided to stay with it and choosing deliberately to avoid losing their vaginal virginity. There are also couples who pledged on their wedding night to go anal only together from that point forward.

Anonymous: my boyfriend is pushing me to have sex with him, i want to, but i don’t want to worry about pregnancy or std. so… how safe is to have just anal/oral without protection? we are both virgins. thanks

If you’re both monogamous and clean, you can safely have oral sex. There is a very slight risk of pregnancy with anal—semen can leak out after and enter the vagina—but it’s pretty negligible if you’re careful, and plenty of people do it without issue. Anal sex has been used for millennia as a natural form of birth control, and there are many people still doing so—even women who were on the pill before and had been having vaginal sex but found it messed up their hormones too much and switched to just having anal sex instead with no pill. The actual act of anal sex cannot lead to pregnancy, it’s only the possibility of leakage afterwards.

I will say that you shouldn’t do anything you don’t want to do even if you’re being pushed to do it. If you do want to do it, great, but if not than your boyfriend needs to respect that.