Tim: Hey, love the blog. I’ve been anal only for about a year now — I don’t masturbate any other way, I only play with my ass, and I’ve completely lost interest in using my cock for anything other than sex with my girlfriend. The problem is, she’s not anal only. She loves to play with my ass, and she enjoys getting anal herself and does it with me when I ask, but she still mostly wants vaginal sex and doesn’t seem interested in giving it up.

I don’t want to pressure her, but I also can’t stop thinking about how much better things would be if we were both anal only. The sex, the mindset, the clarity — it all feels lopsided right now. I love her, but I would love us both to be totally anal only and stop using her pussy.

Is it selfish to want her to go anal only too? Should I just accept this difference, or is it okay to expect more?

It’s not selfish to want your partner to share your values — especially when those values are shaping your identity, your arousal, and your sexuality. Anal only isn’t just a preference, it’s a lifestyle. A discipline. A mindset. A commitment. So it makes perfect sense that you’d want your girlfriend to embrace that with you.

Unfortunately, for many women vaginal is still the default — not because it’s better, but because it’s familiar, expected, and what society says is normal. Even though she embraces anal only for you, she may not fully understand what anal only could mean for herself yet.

The best thing you can do is stay grounded in your choice and be honest with her. Let her know this isn’t about control — it’s about alignment. That you’ve found something that brings you pleasure and satisfaction, and that you want to share that with her fully, not just occasionally. Frame it as a higher standard for the relationship, not a rejection of her.

If she’s interested, encourage her to try a week or month of anal only together and see what it’s really like to move past her pussy and focus just on anal pleasure for the both of you. If you make it through a month, chances are she’ll want to stay anal only going forward!

Max: I receive anal only because it’s the only way that I really enjoy sex, but I like women. Do you think that there are women willing to have a relationship with someone like me? I have no problems with my singleness, it’s just a question. Obviously there are many ways and tools to satisfy a woman, I would have no problem doing what she needs and want, except my cock hehe. It would be give and take…

There are all sorts of women out there who like many different things, and I have no doubt that there are women who would enjoy being with a partner who doesn’t want to use his penis to penetrate her and would like to instead focus on penetrating him. It may be a less common niche, but I’m sure that if you look in the right places and are open about your needs, you’ll find the right person.

Phelix: So I recently told my ex girlfriend I liked to receive anal. She broke up with me because I like receiving anal. She told me that I was gay and that it was weird. I don’t understand it what do you think?

And I have a question? I started play anally about a year and a half ago. I’m trying to orgasm from anal only do you have any tips to stop using my penis to have an orgasm. Right now I can use anal to get to the edge but I have to touch my penis to actually orgasm.

Enjoying anal as a giver or a receiver doesn’t inherently have anything to do with someone’s sexuality. Sexuality has to do with who you’re attracted to. You can be a straight man who likes giving or receiving anal sex from women. You can be a gay man who likes giving or receiving anal sex from men. Or all sorts of other combinations. The sexual act is separate from the gender you’re attracted to and want to have sex with. But because men receiving anal sex has been so associated with being gay in our culture, it’s assumed by some less informed people that liking anal means you’re gay.

As for orgasming from anal, just keep going. It takes time. Try committing to at least several months without anything but anal stimulation and you should gain significantly more sensitivity and start to get over the edge from anal stimulation alone.

Anonymous: What are your thoughts on straight men who enjoy receptive anal? I’m asking since it seems more stigmatized than anal with women or non-straight men.

I think that anal sex, anal play, and the anal only lifestyle can be enjoyed by and is open to everyone. Personally, my primary interest is in women who make the conscious decision to not have vaginal sex in favor of anal only, and that influences the content here to some degree, but you’ll find that within the broader community there are a wide variety of male and female cis- and transgender people who enjoy and embrace the anal only lifestyle.

Carl R: PIV sex became sore for my wife just as we left our 40s. I really learned to pleasure her with oral and finger insertion but not with PIV sex, it trailed off. As we became adventurous I gave up any forms of masturbation as I said goodbye to PIV sex. Since she can’t orgasm with her vagina, I felt it right and a little kinky to end normal orgasms with my penis. My wife gives me regular anal stimulation, gently, for my pleasure and that eventually leads to an orgasm. We started with a plug that she still uses, and she also has a thin expensive vibrator that I love. I’ve also used it in her anus. Since we got this raunchy, and I made a self-vow not to stimulate my penis or have my wife do it, we purchased an expensive chastity appliance for those times my flesh becomes weak, which usually happens it we haven’t been romantic. I assure you this is no Mistress and slave marriage either, though obviously the opportunities for role play given the circumstances are endless. It has been no PIV in nearly 10 years.

Sounds like an interesting arrangement, and if it works for the two of you that’s wonderful. Do you also have anal sex with each other, or does not using your penis involve not penetrating her anally with it either? Many women can orgasm from anal sex, so having anal together in that way might be another way to be anal only together.

slut_wannabe: How would you feel about expanding the AO movement to encompass those who are not cis-women?

I am a pansexual (technically) male who desires to be receptive anal only.

I believe that ALL people, whatever gender they are should primarily practice receptive anal sex, whether it is with penises, other body parts, or toys/tools. Oral sex is fine as well, but vaginal sex should best be limited to actual breeding attempts only.

This, I believe, would eliminate most sexual hangups, encourage a much broader exploration of sexuality and erotic pleasure, and be the basis of true sexual equality.

What do you think?

The anal only lifestyle is open and applicable to everyone who wishes to be a part of it, and many different people identify as anal only. Not everyone who does so is receptively anal only, but there certainly are people with all assortments of genitals who choose to forego them in favor of being anal only. There are plenty of others who are only interested in being anal only as the penetrator, however, and they serve just as important a role in the anal only lifestyle!

John: Hello, I’ve read some post where women choose to have only anal and never had vaginal sex. I think it’s good idea for straight male as well. I was interested in anal sex since my teens when I was a virgin. Later in college i met a girl, she was a virgin too. I didn’t want a relationship with her, so i wasn’t interested in taking her’s vaginal virginity, but wanted to have some casual sex. I convinced her into anal. This was my first sexual experience with other person. Later on I though maybe it’s quite good idea to have anal only. So every with girl I met since, I had either oral, manual or anal but never had “real sex”. I share this story because I truly think we can spread this culture across the world, and if not only women refuse to have vaginal but as well men, this cat get really viral. Many are thinking right now, it’s more complicated to find a partner for casual or serious relationship who would like to have such sexual life. Yes indeed, but you can always have oral or manual instead of vaginal till you date agrees to go anal.

I completely agree, the choice to be anal only and exclude vaginal sex completely benefits everyone, regardless of their gender. Anal is a more rewarding and appealing form of sex, and combining it with vaginal ultimately ends up degrading the purity of pleasure, intimacy, and reward that comes from anal (even if it can still be good).

It’s important not to think of vaginal as “real sex”, which results in thinking of anal as something lesser, which is far from the case. Instead, recognize that anal is just as real as any other form of sex, but vaginal is the least beneficial for everyone, and so is best kept as procreative sex only.

The choice to remain a vaginal virgin has grown in popularity in recent years, especially among women who prefer anal and the idea of staying anal only, but more men are showing that interest as well. If anal is what you want, and vaginal doesn’t interest you, it’s well worth the effort to go straight to pure anal only and never compromise for vaginal sex.

Vince: So I thought I’d give an update it’s the 22nd and I haven’t touched my penis. The strong urge to touch has subsided I have almost zero urge to touch my penis. The only thing I have struggled with this month is there’s times I can’t get off from just anal and then I have to just give up for the night and try again the next day. It’s both frustrating and kinda arousing cuz then I get turned on and can’t wait for the next day hopefully soon I’ll have completely zero urge to touch myself.

Well done and congratulations. Keep going and it will just keep getting better for you the more you do!

Vince: So I’m trying to abstain from all types of masturbation until April and then starting April 1st I’m going to try and go all month anal only. So far since my last post I haven’t given in to the urge to touch my penis. Is it normal for it to get extremely hard to resist the urge to touch and then it starts to tapper off cuz it was easy for awhile and lately it’s been really hard to resist even tho I’m having anal orgasms. So wish me luck on no touching and making it thru April

Sounds like a good plan!

It can increase and decrease in difficulty depending on a lot of different factors, and just personal variation. Stick with it and you’ll get through the difficulty, and give yourself lots of anal orgasms to make up for it and remind yourself why they’re better.

If it really gets hard to resist, you can try using a chastity device during periods of extreme temptation.

Vince: So I thought I would share that I bought a new buttplug and it hits exactly the spot I need. since I’ve gotten this toy I have came from just anal twice now. it’s really hot to cum with out touching my penis what so ever. now to just keep up with it and break the bad habit of touching my penis I don’t do it often but every once in awhile I get tempted to touch

Congratulations on the anal orgasms! Like you say, you just need to stick with it now, but with the ability to cum from anal in your grasp, it will become a lot easier to avoid any other forms of stimulation—whenever you feel the urge, just start working on an anal only orgasm instead and focus all your efforts on that. As you start cumming from anal more and more frequently it will become increasingly easier, and urges to have less appealing and pleasurable sorts of orgasms will fade in favor of pure anal.