Jeremy and Anna: So she got into anal cuz she saw me playing with my toy and when she got comfortable she started using the toy on me and she would ask questions like doesn’t it hurt and what does it feel like for me and I would tell her.

One day I asked her do you want me to try it on you and she said sure so I took things slow just starting with a finger and we continued to mix some anal play into our mix and then about 3 months ago now I asked her if she would try an anal only month and I told her if it was to hard she didn’t have to keep doing it and through that month she tried clitoral denial and then after that month she went back to using her clit but has been anal only.

Now this month she is trying clitoral denial for my birthday present plus she has been wanting to try it lately so far she’s struggling but making it maybe you could give her some encouragement to stay on track and to keep her goal in mind thanks for your blog it’s great

That’s great that she was open-minded about not only doing anal play with you but also about going anal only herself.

If she needs clit stimulation in order to enjoy being anal only, then that’s a perfectly reasonable compromise, but since she wants to try eliminating clit stimulation as well, then I definitely encourage sticking with that goal and getting to where it’s entirely unnecessary for her. It can definitely be hard at first, if she’s been very used to using her clit to masturbate and orgasm up to this point, but keeping the goal of pure anal pleasure in mind and sticking with the routine of not using her clit for increasingly longer amounts of time will help it keep getting easier. You can continue to help her as well by encouraging and praising her and telling her how sexy you find it that she wants to give up her clit and be totally anal only.

If it’s hard to resist during masturbation/sex, you can use a topical anesthetic cream like Orajel applied in a small amount directly to the clit to temporarily numb sensation and eliminate the temptation to rub it. This only lasts an hour or two, but can be helpful if the urge is hard to resist at times.

For more information on the motivations behind clit denial as part of the anal only lifestyle and some ways that people use physical means to avoid clit stimulation, see our page on the Benefits of Avoiding Clitoral Stimulation During Anal Sex and The Use of Chastity Devices in the Anal Only Lifestyle.

Evan: I asked my girlfriend to go completely anal only with no clit or pussy stimulation and she said she’d do it if I did it too so I said sure I like anal penetration anyways and she said she would go as long as I can go so any tips to keep way from touching my penis so she won’t touch her clit?

Sounds like a fun and interesting challenge to try together!

For one, you could always try to play together as much as possible so you can hold each other accountable and remind each other not to touch. Otherwise you can check in with each other daily and talk about it to help keep reinforcing it for the both of you.

A physical chastity device is probably your best bet if you have a hard time with the self control side of things. You can get cheap chastity cages on eBay for considerably less than the high-end ones available, though of course fitment and comfort may not be as good as with high end or custom ones.

Jeremy: So I have always had a interest in anal. I played with my ass from a pretty young age and learned how to orgasm from just anal. So I went back and forth playing with my ass and jerking off till I something violent happened to me sexually and after that I had erection problems and pills don’t help all that much so after a few years of trying to be able to jerk off and it not working I mostly went anal only and then I got with my current girlfriend and we decided that we would both be anal only and let me say we both have so much fun and if done properly anal can be extremely pleasurable btw thanks for making a section for male anal only

Though many people end up anal only simply because they love it, and would rather do anal than anything else, it’s also not that uncommon for a trauma or medical condition to prevent some other form of sex from being effective or enjoyable, and in those cases, going anal only can be a great way to continue to enjoy pleasure and intimacy with a partner while moving past those other forms of sex that no longer work for you.

I’m glad it was able to fill that role for you and that you’ve found a partner who you can be anal only together with as well, that’s great! How did you meet her and bring up the idea of being anal only together, and how did she take the idea at first?

Samy: Hello! Even though I’m a gay bottom, I’ve always loved your blogs. A few months ago, reading on clitoral denial again, I thought: “hey, why wouldn’t I try it myself?” So, I did exactly like you recommend here: I asked my partners not to pay any sort of attention to my penis any more, I stopped touching it altogether, I started playing with my ass more often, and whenever I felt the urge to masturbate my penis, I masturbated my ass instead.

And it works! Little by little, the urge for penis stimulation decreased, and the pleasure I’m getting from my ass went through the roof, both during sex and during solo play! My partners also noticed a HUGE improvement, they say my ass feels much better, more reactive to the fucking it gets, and they find me much more submissive and slutty and eager to please.

Now I regret not having done this way sooner. Even psychologically, I now perceive my ass as my only sexual organ. I really recommend anal sex and penile/clitoral denial to anybody who likes being penetrated, it’s a life changer! Thank you so much for your blogs!

It really is a life- and game-changer. The challenge is getting started and getting past old habits, but if you stick with it, excluding non-anal stimulation, whether it be penile or clitoral, really does make anal that much better, as you’ve discovered.

I’ve heard from a lot of different people over the years who have taken the same step and moved to pure 100% anal stimulation only, whether by simply stopping all non-anal stimulation, or through physical chastity or even more permanent options such as surgical removal of their clitoris, that all arousal shifts to their ass and their sexuality becomes completely centered around anal penetration rather than their genitals.

Just as there’s a huge difference between having anal sex regularly and excluding vaginal penetration to be anal only, there’s a similarly large difference between being anal only with clitoral or penis stimulation and being truly anal only, where anal penetration is the exclusive source of pleasure. It’s hard to understand without having tried it, but it significantly boosts arousal and unlocks new pleasures and anal desires and abilities you didn’t know were possible for yourself before.

If someone doesn’t feel ready to take this step or is happy with a combination of stimulation and doesn’t find that it interferes with their long-term pleasure or commitment to being anal only, that’s certainly fine, and you can absolutely be anal only without giving up penis or clit stimulation, but if you want to dive deeper into the anal only lifestyle and experience it even more fully, this is a great way to do it and I highly recommend it for everyone to at least try for a while.

Jeremy: Hi I love your blog I have been fallowing for a long time and I’d love to see you add a section for men that enjoy anal only penetration because there are a lot of men who enjoy it and we need a place to call home and your blog is already awesome so why not bring in more people

This blog and community is open to anyone, regardless of gender, and the principles within it can apply to everyone even if many of the conversations and submissions are about or from women.

I’ve added a Male Anal Only category to group posts like this one together for future reference.

Anonymous: So I am a male thinking of going anal only and stop using penis stimulation have any suggestions cuz I haven’t been able to cum with out penis stimulations is it something that will come if I keep at it?

I’d suggest just continuing to experiment and explore. While some people are lucky enough to be naturally suited for anal only orgasms with minimal effort, it can take time and “training” for most people to get to that point. Avoiding other forms of stimulation/orgasm triggers for a while can often help—if you’re dependent on one way of having an orgasm, it will be hard to do it any other way. So focus just on anal. If that’s hard to do and you give in, consider some sort of physical chastity to help develop the self control needed. Good luck!

Anonymous: I am a gay male, so you’d think anal only would be an automatic right? Not so much. My boyfriend and I would like to get me to the point of where I can cum strictly from being penetrated without any touching on my cock. Any suggestions for helping to achieve this?

Learning to orgasm from anal seems to be a similar process for women and men both, and the main factors are practice and total denial of your normal means of stimulation while you’re trying. For some, that’s only a short term denial, while others will deny themselves any other stimulation or orgasms for a period of days or longer before trying each time so they’re particularly aroused when trying to learn to orgasm anally.