Anonymous: I always thought that anal would really only be good for the guy so he can get off, and the girl would just be laying there. However, that myth has been busted for me! Did anal last night and I came soooo hard, it hurt but it felt SO GOOD. ?

the-art-of-oral: yassss, good to hear success stories 🙂

-Becca

Anonymous: Hey girl! What do you like about anal? I mean, what is the fantasy for you? Is it humiliation, the fact that “you don’t have pleasure” like with vagina, or what?

willowkitty: Hey there!

For me personally, I enjoy anal for the sensation. The stretching feeling, the full feeling, the pressure… It’s incredible pleasurable for me. Just thinking about it makes me squirm a bit.

From what you said, it sounds like you are implying that it’s not possible to feel pleasure from anal. That is not my experience at all, and I know I am not alone in that.

Anal is not for everybody, but it can be a very pleasurable experience when done properly. It should not be uncomfortable or painful, and if it is then you need to listen to your body and slow down or stop. Anal is not something you can rush in to. It requires a lot of time, patience, and lube; start small, and slowly work your way up. 🙂

Anonymous: So most sexy things have an un-sexy consequence… Has toying around with your butt to the extent which you have ever resulted in unfortunate -err- ‘waste’ issues?

willowkitty: There are two ways I can read this question, so I am going to address both to ensure I cover it all; “Have things gotten messy while you are playing?” and “Have you had any incontinence issues since you have been taking larger toys?”

Keep in mind that I am not a medical professional, so what I am about to tell you is what I have learned from reading articles online, my own experiences, and talking to experienced anal players.

Now, first thing you need to know is that your anal canal & lower colon (aka Rectum, and recto-sigmoid segment) do not store feces. Feces are stored higher up in your colon (higher up in your sigmoid colon to be exact), and move down towards your anal canal when you produce a bowel movement. It is very important to eat a healthy diet with enough fibre, as this will ensure that you are regular; if you are constipated or loose, then there will be issues.

Secondly, you can also take preventative measures if you desire. You can clean yourself out with an enema or an anal douche, though this is not necessary at all; a quick shower beforehand to wash around your anus, and maybe slip a finger in will work well (do not use soap, you will hurt the sensitive tissues & bacteria that needs to thrive there). The difference between the two is that with an enema there is generally more fluid and you are holding it in a for a while before you expel, and with a douche you are expelling right after you fill yourself up; douching is a good way to just give a quick rinse to your anal canal. If you are going to preform an enema or douche before anal, you need to be careful. You will want to do it a few hours before play, to allow your rectum to recover the bacteria that you flush out. There is a lot of bacteria in your rectum that is necessary, and if you flush too often you can actually hurt yourself and do permanent damage. Of course, if you are careful then you will be fine. Use sterile equipment, and after your are done ensure that you sterilize it again; you do not want to introduce too much foreign bacteria. There are different kinds out there as well: bulbs, and then more elaborate systems for deeper flushes. Most people use warm water (do NOT add soap as that will irritate you), but you can also use an enema solution. Do not use solutions meant for vaginal douching! I recommend buying something over the counter, but there are recipes for making it at home as well. You also need to do this very slowly and listen to your body. If you start to feel uncomfortable, or feel cramped up then your body is telling you that you have gone too far. If you have any sort of digestive issues, please go see your doctor before you do this. If you do flush often and notice a change in your digestive system then please go see your doctor.

It is not absolutely necessary to flush yourself beforehand though.As I said, if you are regular then you should know whether or not you need to go. If you have had a bowel movement within a few hours before play, then you should be good to go. I personally usually do not flush myself before I do my stretch training, and I have not had an issue at all. Once I start doing more depth training I will start playing around with enemas more. I am very committed to eating well, and I can pretty much predict when I am going to have a bowel movement now based on the time of day.

I also just want to say that even with preparation, and regular movements sometimes there might still be a small amounts of fecal matter; a speck or two perhaps. This is not the end of the world, and is perfectly normal. A lot of people worry about this, and feel shameful but it is not something to fret about. If that makes you uncomfortable, then perhaps anal sex is not for you. If you are having anal sex with someone, and they happen to react to such an incident I want to assure you that there is nothing wrong. Do not let that person’s reaction tarnish your view of anal sex. Sometimes these things will happen.

I do not think that this is an “un-sexy consequence” as that has far too much negativity surrounding it. It is just a natural process of the human body, and human bodies are sexy as fuck. 

To address the other way that the question can be read, have I had any issues with incontinence since taking large toys and stretching out my ass?

Short answer: No.

I have not had any issues at all. I can tell you that ever since I started training my anus to take larger toys, the muscles have become stronger. If you think about it, I am training myself to have better control of my anal sphincter; practice relaxing and opening up, and gripping around my toys. I have been very focused on this to perfect my gape abilities. My ass has never been this tight!

I hope that answered your question thoroughly. Feel free to ask for any clarifications if you need to 🙂

Again, I am not a medical professional so everything stated here is based on my own readings, my experience, and discussions with experienced anal players. 

Anonymous: How comes you got obsession to stretch/train your butt with bigger toys? Pain or what?

willowkitty: It’s not painful. One of the biggest misconceptions about anal sex is that it is painful. If you are experiencing pain, then you need to listen to you body and slow down. You need to warm yourself up, and ease in to it slowly.

In order to properly have anal sex you need to start off small, just your pinky finger and work your way up from there. Lots and lots of lube. There should not be any pain, and with time you will be able to take larger toys.

Practice, practice, practice.

The reason I have been so in to anal training is because it feels amazing. Anal stimulation has changed the way I orgasm. The added sensation allows me to have much more powerful orgasms. For me, the stretching sensation is almost enough to send me right over the edge. The bigger I go, the more intense it is. In fact, I have had an anal only orgasm from just stretching alone; it was incredible. I cannot even begin to put it to words.

How could I possibly say no to that? hehehe.

Anonymous: I’ve recently started sleeping with this women who prefers anal and I love it. But what makes it enjoyable to women?

livid-lotus: lol idk why do any of us find things enjoyable?

Anal and vaginal both have their own sort of sensation, and different women prefer different sensations. Also, the clitoris, which has internal components far beyond the external bit most people are familiar with, comes in close contact and even wraps around the rectum, making a lot of interesting and pleasurable sensations that can be more easily triggered anally. Add those to the fact that anal penetration almost always leads to more powerful orgasms and in some cases can cause orgasm entirely on its own, and it’s not surprising that some women prefer anal.

Anonymous: I’m a huge fan of being fucked in my ass but my fiancé is either hesitant or just avoids my requests for anal sex. Got any tips on how I can entice him to stick his glorious 9″ inside my ass? I’d love to go ass only!

You’ll need to talk to him and see why he is resistant to anal. Outside the “anal only” sphere where everyone loves anal and it’s hard to imagine people who don’t, some men are turned off by the idea, thinking it’s dirty or weird or “gay”. Try to see if he’ll at least try it a few times to see what he thinks about it after, and if he likes it then try to do it with some regularity to begin. But if he’s hesitant still, try instead to incorporate some anal play into your sex life, even if that’s just wearing a butt plug during sex with him.

Most likely, if just the idea of anal sex on its own is currently unappealing to him, the idea of anal only is best avoided until a potential future point when he actually really likes anal and might be open to the idea.

Anonymous: why not just fuck a guy if ass only

Because people are more than just their sex organs and it’s entirely possible to have an attraction to women without an attraction to or preference for vaginal sex.

Anonymous: Hey there! First of all, great job with this blog 🙂 my BF show it to me and we talked and tried anal sex for the first time ! I than decided to share this unexpected experience with you :p That was very weird at first! I thought my BF’s d**** will never get inside. I guess I was resisting :p but afterwards, the feeling was honestly great! I mean new to me but really good. I’m glade we had fun! Now I’m still afraid of anal. Do you have any advice to avoid anal problems? Like incontinence…?

Thank you, and congratulations on an enjoyable first experience with anal!

Incontinence from anal sex is largely a myth. It can occur from severe anal damage, but even regular anal sex will not lead to this if you follow safe practices and avoid doing anything painful. Regular anal training and sex, especially if you incorporate plugs like toys and do kegel exercises, will end up strengthening the muscles rather than weakening them and leading to incontinence. The “looseness” people associate with anal sex is a combination of short term looseness after the fact, and conscious control of some of the muscles involved that can make penetration easier as you develop that control. But it always naturally returns to its tighter state when not being used.

Anal prolapse, another commonly cited issue resulting from anal sex, does not have evidence linking itself to sex, and it’s believed that people who get an anal prolapse already have the preexisting conditions that will eventually develop into that prolapse and that it has nothing to do with anal sex. (Many of the prolapses in porn aren’t true examples of the potentially serious medical condition of anal prolapse and are done deliberately for the camera by people who have developed the ability to do it.)

As long as you use lube and stop if anything is actively painful to take a break or use a smaller toy for a little while before trying again, or if you are bleeding, you should have no problems. With safe anal practices, there are plenty of people who have been having frequent anal sex for decades with zero health issues as a result of the sex.

Anonymous: I know you won’t publish this, because this is the internet and it’s full of cowards. But here’s the thing: Disinformation. That’s what you’re doing and you should feel ashamed about it. You are misleading men and manipulating women. Some poor and confused women might actually believe that they could benefit or even orgasm from anal penetration. But in the end it’s just a lie you tell people to feed your own twisted perversions. And you know it. Stop it. Right. Now.

Ah, good, it’s been a while since I got one of these. Speaking of cowards, nicely done with the anonymous accusation.

There is zero misleading or manipulating. Does everyone love anal? No—not all women or men do. But there are many women who do, and a decent-sized subset of those who prefer it. Is this really so surprising? What makes you so sure that it can’t be true?

I’m clear and open about my agenda of encouraging everyone to try anal sex in a manner that makes it likely to be enjoyable for everyone, and for people who enjoy anal sex to experiment with being anal only. What’s your agenda? How about you come off anon and have an actual dialogue about this rather than throwing around accusations?

The original version of this post on Tumblr got the following responses from blog followers:

beekahsweet: I’ve always liked anal, and now, with just 4 weeks of some dedicated plugging and training, anal has been easier than ever and I crave it multiple times a day.

ihavebeenexceptionallynaughty: I can sometimes come from anal sex and only anal sex and I most definitely have lady parts and identify as full-on lady. So yeah, it’s real.

rostarocks: I love anal and cum way more and harder this way… and squirt uncontrollably! so that person is way mis informed. I’m not anal only but it is my preference!

kloudkush: Anal orgasms > pussy orgasms

calyopekicksass: Fucking LOL, what is wrong with people?

“I have a personal vendetta against anal penetration and instead of being mature and realizing that everyone’s sexual preferences are different, I’m going to demonize an entire sex act! I am right! You are wrong!”

Go take a closet of gross old man dicks up your butt.

This is the question asked by an Experience Project user, and the answers—mostly by women themselves—are a resounding YES, YES, OH GOD YES! If women are introduced to it in a positive manner with proper technique, they tend to be unable to get enough of it from then on.

absolutely! I have stronger orgasms when being penetrated via the anus. I think its a personal preference, but some of us are out there. I rather feel my anus stretch around a thick penis than having a large penis in my vagina.

I too have much stronger orgasms with anal. So I end up preferring anal over vag.

My wife absolutely loves anal sex. Better than regular vaginal sex according to her.

Absolutely! Way better than vaginal sex.

seems like the ones that do not only like it, but prefer it!!

This is almost a universal statement among women who enjoy anal sex—it gives better orgasms than vaginal. With that so often the case, it’s no surprise that going anal only continues to grow in popularity among women who love anal. After all, if you can have more intense pleasure every time you have sex, why bother with something that’s—while not necessarily bad for everyone—much less enjoyable?

Prefer anal penetration and analingus on a regular basis, both giving and receiving.

This is less universal, but is something I’m hearing with some frequency of late—women who prefer the pleasures of analingus over cunnilingus.

I am a woman who loves anal sex. Most times I’m having sex I will also have anal sex, either you hate it or you love it. I just LOVE it..

I imagine this remains the most common way for women to enjoy anal—as a supplement to vaginal rather than a replacement. There’s nothing wrong with this if it’s what you enjoy to do, but I do encourage everyone who enjoys anal at this level of to try a month or several with anal fully replacing vaginal.

I love anal sex! The feeling of the head of his cock pushing against my well lubricated tight little hole is amazing. Once I relaxed and accepted his cock I loved it and have wanted to have my ass fucked all the time ever since!

Once a woman has been introduced to the correct way to have anal sex and anal play I have yet to meet a woman who hasn’t yet told me she has been missing a tremendous and incredible feeling

This is the biggest factor—having good early experiences to realize the potential of how great anal can be. Most women who hate anal sex have simply never had good anal sex and so can’t imagine it could ever be good. That’s a real shame.

I love love love getting my butt pounded too! I will always let the guy know that my back door is always open 🙂 I love the initial feelings that I get when my butt is adjusting to having a penis inside of it. But the real pleasure is once my butt is nice and warmed up and the guy just pounds away at my butt like there’s no tomorrow. The feelings that I get when there is a huge dick just pounding and pounding and pounding away at my butt are almost indescribable! My whole body goes numb except for my butt which radiates waves of the most physical pleasure I have ever felt. Its a throbbing, pulsating feeling deep in my butt that I only have when getting my butt pounded as hard as the guy can!

Anal sex is clearly the best choice when it gives pleasure like this, far above and beyond what a pussy can provide!

I love anal sex, but I find most guys aren’t as into it as you would think. I have had few partners actively seek it from me.

As bizarre as this may seem to men who enjoy and prefer anal sex, it is a common complaint from women who prefer anal—they have a hard time finding men who are happy with just anal and don’t push to have vaginal sex as well. It seems to be a common issue for anal only men and women both to find partners who are wiling and accepting.

I had a girlfriend last year, she was a widow, 42, had 4 kids. Vaginally she was a squirter. Got so wet, that vaginal sex didn’t really matter. Was like having sex with jelly. Fun, but…..
Anyhow, I asked her if she liked anal sex. Oh god, yes, she said. So that’s what we did, abd from then on, that’s the only penatrative sex we had. Still wet from her pussy, and I still fingered her and made her squirter, but sex went to anal only.

It pays to communicate and experiment with your partners. You may both discover a shared preference for anal and may just naturally go anal only because it’s what’s best for the both of you.

But there’s always the contrarians, who often make broad statements about everyone as if they know what everyone thinks and prefers—and most likely they’re people who never experienced it properly themselves.

Nope. They say they do to please their partners. I have several friends and have never heard any of them say anything different than that. They all lie. Once they have anal sex with a guy, they fear saying it’s awful because they don’t want to hurt the man’s pride.

Other women who love it are quick to correct the naysayers.

That is total bull…. I love the feel of anal sex, it’s my husband that has been the resistant one. It took me a year of asking for him finally try it just last week. It was the first time for both of us. I was so amazed at how good it felt and I’m addicted now. My husband still has mixed feelings about it.

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